第9章

"Mr.VanBerg,Iamweary,andIimagineyouaretoo.IthinkI

willsaygood-night."

"Iscarcelywonderthatyouarefatigued.Youhavehadatryingday."

"Ithasbeenahorridday,"shesaid,emphatically.

"Itmighthaveendedmuchworse,nevertheless."

"Possibly,"sheadmittedwithashrug.

"Youhavemorereasontocongratulateyourselfthanyouimagine,MissMayhew.Eventhatdisagreeablesouvenirofourmorningperil,yourlameness,hasdisappeared,andyoumighthavebeenmaimedforlife."

"Mylameness,likemycourage,waschieflyafraudtobeginwith,andsoondisappeared;butIhaveothersouvenirsofthatoccasionthatIcannotgetridofsoeasily."

"IfIamoneofthem,youareright,MissMayhew;Ishallholdyoutoouragreementthismorning.Youputmeonmygoodbehavior——haveInotbehavedwell?"

"Yes,betterthanIhave.Iwasnotreferringtoyoupersonally,buttocertainmemories."

"Weagreedtoletby-gonesbeby-gones."

"Butothersarenotpartiestothisagreement,andeveryreferencetotheaffairisodioustome."

"Ishallmakenofurtherreferencetoit,andyoumustbefairenoughnottopunishmefortheactsofothers."

"YoualsodespisemeinyourheartofmycoursetowardsMissBurtonthisevening."

"IfIdespisedyouwouldIhavesoughtyoursocietythisevening?"

"Idonotknow.Idon"tunderstandyou,ifyouwillpermitmybluntness."

"Possiblyyoudon"tunderstandyourself,MissMayhew."

"IunderstandthatIhavehadamiserableday,andIhopeImayneverseeanotherlikeit.Good-night,sir."

ChapterXIII.Nature"sBrokenPromise.

VanBerghadbeenlefttohimselfbutalittletimebeforeStantonandMr.Burleighcameoutuponthepiazza,andthethreegentlemensatdownforaquietchat.

"Well,"remarkedminehost,withasighofreliefsuchasapilotmightheaveaftertakinghisshiproundaperilouspoint;"well,thankstoMissBurton"sgoodsense,theaffairhasendedwithoutanytrouble.Inahouselikethis,"Satanisfindingmischiefstill"

whenevermybackisturned,andsometimeshethreatenstogetuparowrightundermynose,asinthisinstance.Iwasa"blarstedfool,"asourEnglishfriendshaveit,nottoknowthatMrs.

Chint"sdrama,althoughbeginningincomedy,mightendintragedyofmylosingsomegoodpayingboarders.StillfurtherdidIdemonstratethelengthofmyearsbyevenimaginingitpossiblethatMissBurtonwouldtakefivehundred,orfivehundredthousanddollarsinanysuchcircumstances.Butthewholethingwasdoneinajiffy,andMrs.Chintswaspossessedtohaveher"tableauvivant."Livelypicturewasn"tit?Still,ifMissMayhew,whenappealedtobyMrs.Chints,hadconfirmedmydoubts,Iwouldhavetriedtostopthenonsenseatanycost."

"DidMissMayhewadvisethestep?"askedStanton.

"Oh,no!Shewasnon-committal.Sheactedasifitwerenoneofheraffair,saveasitmightaffordheralittleamusement.Buttheserowsarenolightmatterstouspoorpublicans,whomustpleaseeveryoneandkeepthewholemenagerieinorder.Mr.Chintswasswearingupanddownhisroomthathehadbeenmadeafoolof.

Mrs.Chintswasforleavingto-morrowmorning,declaringthatshewouldnotenduresuchairsfromaschool-teacher.Theyarerichandhaveanumberoffriendswhoarecomingsoon,andsomymindwasfullof"strangeoaths"also,atmyprospectiveloss,whenthisblessedlittlewomanappears,tapsattheirdoor,entersliketheangelintothelion"sden,andshutstheirmouthsbysomemagicallherown.Andnowthey"regoingtostay;Mr.ChintswillgivethefivehundredtotheChildren"sAidSociety,allissereneandI"mhappy,somuchsothatI"llsmokeanotherofyourgoodcigars,Mr.Stanton."

"Certainly,half-a-dozenifyouwish.Howdoyouimagineshequietedtheunrulybeasts?"

"Oh,Isupposeshegotaroundthemthroughthechild——somewhatasshewonovermywifethisafternoonbymeansofourcrossbaby.

It"steething,youknow——andyethowshouldyouyoungchapsknowanythingaboutbabies!Nomatter,yourtimewillcome.Thispromenadingthepiazzawithlovelycreatureswhohavebeenhalftheafternoonattheirtoiletsisallverynice;butwaittillyouhaveweatheredinnumerablesquallsinthedeadofnight——thenyou"lllearnthatteething-timeinahouseholdislikegoingaroundCapeHorn.Well,toreturnfromyourfuturetomypresent.Whensogood-naturedamanasIamgetsintoasympatheticmoodwitholdKingHerod,youcanimaginewhatastatethemother"snervesmustbeinwhohastostanditnightandday.ButasMissBurtonhadbeencommendedtomycare,IfeltthatIwasindutyboundtointroducehertomywifeandshowhersomeattention.SoIsaidtomywife,thisafternoon,"I"mgoingtobringayoungladyintoseeyou."

"DoyouthinkI"minaconditiontoentertaincompany?"sheasked,withafaintsuggestionofhardciderinhertone."Well,mydear,"Iexpostulated,"itwasjustthesameyesterday,andwillbealittlemoresoto-morrow,andIfeelthatIshallberemissifIdelayanylonger.""Oh,verywell,"shesaid,asifitwereatooththatmustcomeoutsoonerorlater,"sincethemattermustbeattendedto,letushaveitoveratonce."Butblessyou,itwasn"tovertillsupper-time.AsIbroughttheyoungladyin,thebabywakedoutofafive-minutes"napthathadcostaboutanhour"srocking,andIthoughttheroofwouldcomeoff.Mywifelookedcrossandworried——well,itwasprose,gentlemen,prose——notthepoetryoflife;andIsaidtomyself,"IsupposeIhaveaboutmadeitcertainthatthisyoungwomanwillliveanddieanoldmaidbygivingherthisglimpsebehindthescenes.Ithoughttheladiescouldgetonbetterwithoutmethanwithme,soIbowedmyselfout,gladtoescapethedin;andIsupposedMissBurtonwouldsayafewpleasantthingsinthedirectionofMrs.Burleigh,whichshe,poorwoman,mightnotbeabletohear,andthenshewouldbowherselfout,alsogladtoescape.AnhourandahalflaterIwentbacktoseeifIcouldnotcoaxmywifeawayforadrive,andwhatdoyousupposeIsaw?"

"Thebabyinconvulsions,"saidStanton.

"Giveitup,"addedVanBerg.

"Sweettransformationscene;deephush;mywifeasleepinherrocking-chair,thebabyasleepinthearmsofMissBurton,whoheldupawarningfingeratmetobequiet.Butthemischiefwasdone;mywifestartedupandwasmortifiedbeyondmeasurethatshehadtreatedherguestsorudely.Thegoodfairy,however,wassogenuinelydelightedthatshehadquietedthebabyandgiventhetiredmotheralittlerest,thatwehadtocometotheconclusionthatshefoundpleasureinwaysthatareatrifleuncommon.Bysomemiracleorothershekeptthebabyasleep,andthenmywifeandItriedtoentertainheralittle,butweweretheonesthatwereentertained.Beforeweknewit,thesupper-bellrang,andthenI"mblessedifthelittlechapdidn"twakeupandgrinatusall.TothinkthenthatIshouldrewardherbylettingMr.Chintsslapherfacewithafive-hundred-dollarcheck!Iguesswe"llallknowbetternexttime."

"Didshetellyouanythingfurtheraboutherhistoryorherconnections?"askedStanton.

Mr.Burleighstrokedhisbeardandlookedratherblankforamoment.

"NowIthinkofit,"heejaculated,"Ibehangedifshesaidawordaboutherself.AndnowIthinkfurtherofit,shesomehoworothergotMrs.Burleighandmyselfa-talking,andseemedsointerestedinusandwhatwesaid,thatIbehangedagainifwedidn"ttellherallweknowaboutourselves."

"Sheimpresseseveryoneasbeingremarkablyfrank,andyetI

thinkitwillbefoundthatsheispeculiarlyreticentinregardtoherself,"remarkedVanBergmusingly."Well,it"snotoftenI

takepeopleontrust,butIhavegiventhisladymyentirerespectandconfidence."

"Iassureyouthatthereisnotrustinthisbusiness,"saidMr.

Burleigh,emphatically."Ican"taffordtoindulgeinsentiment,gentlemen;besides,itcouldn"tbeanymorebecominginmethaninTomChints.Iwouldn"ttakeanunprotected,unknownfemaleintomyhouseifshecamewithapairofwings.ButMissBurtonbringslettersthatestablishhercharacterasaladyastrulyasthatofanyotherwomaninthehouse.IoughttohavepreventedthisChintsbusiness,butthenfivehundredisanicelittleplum,andbeforeIpulledmyslowwitstogetherthethingwasdone."

"Bytheway,Mr.Burleigh,"remarkedStanton,"IhearthatthepartieswhoarenowatmyfriendVanBerg"stablearesoontoleaveforthesea-shore.Canyougivemethreeseatsthereaftertheirdeparture?"

"Certainly;putyoudownrightalongsideofMissBurton."

"PerhapsVanBergfeelsthathehasthefirstclaimtosogoodaposition?"

"No,Stanton,Ishallnotplaceastrawinyourway."

"Youneverwereamanofstraw,Van.IfIwereseekingmorethantoenjoythesocietyofthisyounglady,whoseemstobeembodiedsunshine,Iwouldbesorrytohaveyouplaceyourselfintheway."

"Sunshinebroughttoafocuskindlesevengreenwood,"remarkedVanBerg,withasignificantnodathisfriend.

"Well,"saidMr.Burleigh,rising,"ifIhadnotfoundmymate,I"dbeaburrthatthatlittlewomanwouldn"tgetridofveryeasily.

Good-night,gentlemen.I"llgiveeitheroneofyoumyblessing."

"Good-night,Van,"saidStanton,also."I"mnotgoingtostayandlistentoyourabsurdpredictions.NeithershallIpermityoutoenjoyallbyyourselfthedelicatewineofthatwoman"swit.Whengoodthingsarepassinground,Iproposetohavemyshare.Mypresencecan"thurtyourprospects."

"Andifitdid,Ik,doyouthinkmesuchachurlastotrytocrowdyouaway?"

"That"smagnanimous.Isupposeyouandmycousincanmanagetokeepthepeacebetweenyou."

"IthinkthechangewillbefarmoredisagreeabletoMissMayhewthantome."

"Youareverypolitetosayso.Good-night."

"Well,"musedVanBerg,whenlefttohimself;"I"vemadeprogressto-dayafterafashion.Wehavebeenquitethoroughlyintroduced——infact"throwntogether,"asfateandallherfriendswillhaveit.

Imighthavebeenweeksingainingasmuchinsightintohercharacterascircumstanceshavegivenmeinafewbriefhours.Butwhatamiserablerevelationshehasmadeofherself——cowardicethismorning——fraudthisafternoon,andcoldselfishness,thatcanamuseitselfwiththemortificationandmisfortunesofothers,thisevening.Thisisthemoralsideofthepicture.ButwhenIcameto"speer"aroundtoseewhethershehadanymindorrealculture,theexhibitionwasstillmorepitiable.Yegods!thatagirlcanlivetoherageandknowsolittlethatisworthknowing!Sheknowshowtodress——thatis,howtoenhanceherphysicalbeauty;

andthat,Iadmit,isagreatdeal.Asfarasitgoesitiswell.

Butofthetasteofabeautifuland,atthesametime,intellectualandhighlycultivatedwoman,shehasnoconception;withheritisaquestionoffleshandbloodonly."

"Iwonderifitwilleverbeotherwise?Iwonderifhermarvellousbeauty,whichisnowlikeabuddingrose,thatpartlyconcealstheworminitsheart,willsoon,liketheoverblownflower,revealsoclearlywhatmarsitslifethatscarcelyanythingelsewillbenoticed.Whatafateforaman——tobetiedforlifetoawomanwhowill,withsuregradation,passfromatleastoutwardbeautytoutterhideousness!Beauty,inacaselikethis,isbutamaskwhichtimeortheloathsomefingersofdiseasewouldsurelystripoff;andthenwhatanobjectwouldconfrontthedisenchantedlover!

Itwouldbelikemarryingadisguiseddeath"s-head.NeverbeforedidIrealizehowessentialismentalandmoralculturetogivevaluetomereexternalbeauty.

"Andyetsheseemstohaveakindofquicknessandaptness.Sheisnotwantinginwomanlyintuition.Istillaminclinedtobelieveshehasbeendwarfedbycircumstancesandherwretchedassociations.

Hermindhasbeengivennobettermeansofdevelopmentthantheknowledgeofherbeauty,thegeneralandsuperficialhomagethatitalwaysreceives,thelittleroundofthoughtthatcentresaboutself,andthedailyquestionofdress.That"snarrowingtheworlddowntoacagelargeenoughonlyforapoll-parrot.Ifthebirdwithinhasaparrot"snature,whatistheuseofopeningthedoorandshowingitlarkssinginginthesky?Ifearthat"swhatI"mtryingtodo,andthatIshallgobacktomyfallworkwithameagreportfolioandagrudgeagainstnature,formockingmewiththefairestbrokenpromiseevermade."

ChapterXIV.ARevelation.

Thenextdaythreatenedtobeadrearyone,fortherainfellsosteadilyastomakeallsunny,out-of-doorpleasuresimpossible.

Manylookedabroadwithfacesasdismalandcloudyasthesky;

forthenumberofthosewhoriseabovetheircircumstanceswithacheerycouragearebutfew.Humanfacescanshine,althoughthesunbeclouded;but,asarule,theshadowfallsonthefacealso,andtheregalspiritsuccumbslikeaclodofearth.

Thepeoplecamestragglingdownlatetobreakfastinthedarkmorning,and,withachildishegotismthatconsidersonlyselfandimmediatedesires,theloweringweatherwhichmeantrenewedbeautyandwealthtoalltheland,wasberatedasifitwereasmallspiteagainstthehandfulofpeopleattheLakeHouse.VanBergheardIdaMayhewexclaimingagainstthecloudsasifthisspitewereaimedatherselfonly.

"Someofherfriendsmightnotventurefromthecity,"shesaid.

"Theyyouthsarenotventuresome,then,"remarkedStanton,whoneverlostanopportunitytotease.

"Ofcoursetheydon"twishtogetwet,"shepouted.

"AndyetI"llwageranyamountthattheyarenotofthe"saltoftheearth"inanyscripturalsense.Well,theyhadbetterstayintown,forthiswouldbeaninstanceof"muchventured,nothinggained.""

"Youremindmeofacertainfoxwhocouldnotsayenoughhardthingsaboutthegrapesthatwereoutofreach.Butmarkmywords,Mr.

Sibleywillcome,ifitpours."

"Hewouldn"triskthespoilingofhisclothesforanywomanliving."

"Youjudgehimbyyourself.Oh,dear,howshallIgetthroughthislong,horribleday!Youmencansmokelikebadchimneysthroughastorm,butformethereisnoresourceto-day,butadullnovelthatI"vereadoncebefore.Letmesee,I"llreadanhourandsleepthree,andthenitwillbetimetodressfordinner.Oh,good-morning,Mr.VanBerg,"shesaystotheartistwhohadbeenlisteningtoherwhileapparentlygivingcloseattentiontoMrs.

Mayhew"sinterminabletiradeagainstrainydays;"Ihavejustbeenenvyingyougentlemenwhocankillstupidhoursbysmoking."

"Iadmitthatitisalmostasbadassleeping."

"Iseethatyouhaveahomilypreparedonimprovingthetime,soIshallescapeatonce."

OnthestairsshemetMissBurton,whowasdescendingwithabreezyswiftnessasifsheweremakingachargeonthegeneralgloomandsullennessoftheday.

"Good-morning,MissMayhew,"shesaid;"I"mgladtoseeyoulookingsowellafterthesevereshakingupyouhadyesterday.Youwouldalmosttemptonetobelievethatroughusageissometimesgoodforus."

"Ihavenosuchbelief,Iassureyou.Yesterdaywasbadenough,butto-daypromisestobeworse.Iwasgoingtomakeupaboatingparty,butwhatcanonedowhenthewaterisoverheadinsteadofunderthekeel?"

"Scoresofthings,"wasthecheeryreply."I"mgoingtohaveagoodtime."

"I"mgoingtosleep,"saidIda,passingon.

"MissBurton,"saidStanton,joiningheratthefootofthestairs,"Iperceive,evenfromyourmannerofdescendingtoourlowerworld,thatyouaredestinedtovanquishthedullnessofthisrainyday.

Don"tyouwishanally?"

"Wouldyoubeanally,Mr.Stanton,ifyousawIwasdestinedtobevanquished?"

"OfcourseIwould."

"Lookintheparlorthen.Thereareatleastadozenladiesalreadyvanquished.Theyareoppressedbythefoul-fiend,"ennui."

Transferyourchivalricoffertothemanddeliverthem."

"Stanton,"laughedVanBerg,"youareinhonorboundtodevoteyourselftothoseoppressedladies."

"TheprospectissodarkanddepressingthatIshallatleastcheermyselffirstwiththelightofacigar."

"Andsoyourchivalrywillendinsmoke,"shesaid.

"Yes,MissBurton,thesmokeofbattle,whereyouareconcerned."

"Ifearyourwitisreadierthanyoursword.Thesoldierthatboastshowhewouldoverwhelmsomeotherfoethantheonebeforehimlosescredittothedegreethatheprotests."

"Youaremoreexacting,MissBurton,thantheladywhothrewherglovedownamongthelions.WhatchancewouldHerculeshimselfhaveofliftingthosetwelveheavyfemalesoutofthedumps?"

"It"snotwhatwedo,butwhatweattempt,thatshowsourspirit."

"ThenIshallexpecttoseeyouattemptgreatthings."

"I"monlyawoman."

"AndI"monlyaman."

"Onlyaman!whatgreatervantage-groundcouldonehavethantobeaman?"

"Theadvantageisnotsouncommonthatoneneedbeundulyelated,"

stateStantonwithashrug."Iforgethowmanyhundredmillionsofusthereare.ButI"mcurioustoseehowyouwillsetaboutrenderingthehuesofthisleadendayprismatic."

"Onlybybeingtheinnocentcauseofyourhighlycoloredlanguage,Iimagine."

"Oh,dear,"exclaimedalittleboypetulantly,ashestrolledthroughthehallandlookedoutatthesteadydownfallofrain."Ohdear!

Whycan"titstopraining?"

"There"sthephilosophyofourtimeforyouinanutshell,"saidVanBerg."Whenahumanatomwantsanything,whatbusinesshastheuniversetostandinitsway?"

"Butyouhavenobetterphilosophytoofferthedisconsolatelittlefellow,Mr.BanBerg?"MissBurtonasked.

"Now,Van,it"syourturn.Remember,MissBurton,hehasthesamevantage-groundthatIhave.Indeedhe"shalfaninchtaller."

"Theworldlongagolearnedbetterthantomeasuremenbyinches,Mr.Stanton."

"Alas,MissBurton,"saidVanBerg;"thebestphilosophyIhaveisthis:whenitrains,letitrain."

"AndthusI"mprivilegedtomeetrepresentativesofthosetwoancientandhonorableschools,theStoicandEpicurean,andyouboththink,Ifear,thatifXanthippehadfoundedaschool,myphilosophywouldalsobedefined.ButperhapsyouwillthinkbetterofmeifItellthatlittlefellowastorytopassthetimeforhim.What"sthematter,littlefolk?"sheasked,fortwoorthreemoresmallcloudedfaceshadgatheredatthedoor.

"Matterenough,"saidtheboy."Thishorridoldrainkeepsusinthehouse,wherewecan"tdoanythingorstayanywhere.Wemustn"tplayintheparlor,wemustn"tmakeanoiseinthehalls,wemustn"trunonthepiazzas.I"dliketoliveinaworldwheretherewassomeplaceforboys."

"Poorchild,"saidMissBurton;"thisrainisasbadforyouasthedelugetoNoah"sdove,ithasleftyounorefugeforthesoleofyourfoot.Willyoucomewithme?Noonehassaidyoumustnothearajollystory."

"Youwon"ttellmeaboutanygoodlittleboyswhodiedwhentheywereasbigasIam?"

"I"llkeepmyword——itshallbeajollystory."

"Maywehearittoo?"askedtheotherchildren.

"Yes,allofyou."

"Whereshallwego?"

"Wewon"tdisturbanyoneinthefarcorneroftheparlorbythepiano.Ifyouknowofanyotherlittlepeople,youcanbringthemthere,too,"andtheyeachdartedoffinsearchofespecialcronies.

"Maywenothearthestoryalso?"askedStanton.

"No,indeed,Imaybeabletointerestchildren,butnotphilosophers."

"Thenwewillgoandmeditate,"saidVanBerg.

"Yes,"sheadded,"andinaccordancewithaNewYorkcustomofgreatantiquity,madefamiliartoyou,nodoubt,bythatgravehistorianDiedrichKnickerbocker,whogivesseveralgraphicaccountsofsuchcloudyruminationsonthepartofyourcity"sgreat-grandfathers."

"IfearyouthinkthattheworshipfulPeterStuyvensant"scounsellorsindulgedinmoretobaccothanthought,andthatthemajorityofthemhadasfewideasasoneofMr.Burleigh"schimneys,"saidVanBerg."Andyouregardusasthedirectdescendantsofthesemen,whoseliveswerecrownedwithsmoke-wreathsonly."

"Now,Mr.VanBerg,youproveyourselftobeaphilosopherofamodernschool,youdrawyourinductionssofarandwidefromyourdiminutivepremise."

"Well,MissBurton,youstandinveryfavorablecontrastwithuspoormortals.Wearegoingouttoaddtothecloudsthatlowerovertheworld,whileyouaretryingtobanishthem."

"Andif,afterhelpingthechildrentowardsthecloseofthisdismalday,yourheartshouldrelenttowardsus,"addedStanton,"youwillfindtwoworthyobjectsofyourcharity."

"Ohwhatafallingoffishere!"sheexclaimed,followingtheimpatientchildren."Knightsatfirst,thenphilosophers,andnowobjectsofcharity."

MissBurtonevidentlykeptherword,andtolda"jollystory,"forthefriendssawthroughtheparlorwindowsthatthecirclearoundhergrewlargerandmorehilariouscontinually.Thenwouldfollowmomentsofraptandeagerattention,showingthatthetalegainedinexcitementandinterestwhatitlostinhumor.Youngpeople,whodidnotliketobeclassedwithchildren,onebyoneyieldedtothetemptation.Therewaslifeandenjoymentinthatcorneranddulnesselsewhere,andnothingissoattractiveintheworldasgenuineandjoyouslife.

Evenelderlyladieslookedwistfullyupattheoccasionalburstsofcontagiousmerriment,andthensighedthattheyhadlostthepoweroflaughingsoeasily.

Atlastthemarvelouslegendcametoanendamidaroundofprolongedapplause.

"Another,another!"wasthegeneraloutcry.

ButMissBurtonhadobservedthattheladiesandgentlemenpresentseemedinclinedtobefriendlytowardstheyoungpeople"sfun,andthereforeshebroachedanotherschemeofpleasurethatwouldvarytheentertainment.

"Perhaps,"shesaid,"yourpapasandmammasandtheothergoodpeoplewillnotobjecttoanold-fashionedVirginiareel."

Ashoutofwelcomegreetedthisproposition.

MissBurtonraisedherfingersoimpressivelythattherewasaninstanthush.Indeedsheseemedtohavegainedentirecontrolofthelargeandmiscellaneousgroupwhichsurroundedher.

"Wewilldrawupapetition,"shesaid;"forwebestenjoyourownrightsandpleasureswhenrespectingthoseofothers.Thislittleboyandgirlshalltakethepetitionaroundtoalltheladiesandgentlemenintheroom,andthisshallbethepetition:

""Dearladyandkindsir:Pleasedon"tobjecttoourdancingaVirginiareelintheparlor.""

"Allwhowishtodancecansignit.Nowwewillgototheofficeanddrawupthepetition."Andawaytheyallstarted,theyoungerchildren,wildwithglee,caperinginadvance.