第19章

ItwasimpossiblethatIcouldviewascenesostrangewithoutfeelingsofadmirationaswellaspity;orwithoutforgettingforawhile,inmyrespectforMadamedeBruhl"sdevotion,theriskwhichhadseemedsogreattomeonthestairs.Ihadcomesimplyforapurposeofmyown,andwithnothoughtofaidinghimwholayhere.Butsogreat,asIhavenoticedonotheroccasions,isthepowerofanobleexample,that,beforeIknewit,IfoundmyselfwonderingwhatIcoulddotohelpthisman,andhowI

couldrelievemadame,inthedischargeofofficeswhichherhusbandhadaslittlerighttoexpectatherhandsasatmine.

AtthemeresoundofthewordPlagueIknewshewouldbedesertedinthiswildernessbyall,ornearlyall;areflectionwhichsuggestedtomethatIshouldfirstremovemademoiselletoadistance,andthenconsiderwhathelpIcouldaffordhere.

IwasabouttotellherthepurposewithwhichIhadcomewhenaparoxysmmorethanordinarilyviolent,andinducedperhapsbytheexcitementofmypresence——thoughheseemedbesidehimself——

seizedhim,andthreatenedtotaxherpowerstotheutmost.I

couldnotlookonandseeherspendherselfinvain;andalmostbeforeIknewwhatIwasdoingIhadlaidmyhandsonhimandafterabriefstrugglethrusthimbackexhaustedonthecouch.

Shelookedatmesostrangelyafterthatthatinthehalf-lightwhichtheloopholesaffordedItriedinvaintoreadhermeaning.

"Whydidyoucome?"shecriedatlength,breathingquickly.

"You,ofallmen?Whydidyoucome?Hewasnofriendofyours,Heavenknows!"

"No,madame,norIofhis,"Iansweredbitterly,withasuddenrevulsionoffeeling.

"Thenwhyareyouhere?"sheretorted.

"Icouldnotsendoneofmymen,"Ianswered."AndIwantthekeyoftheroomabove."

Atthementionofthattheroomabove——sheflinchedasifIhadstruckher,andlookedasstrangelyatBruhlasshehadbeforelookedatme.NodoubtthereferencetoMademoiselledelaVirerecalledtohermindherhusband"swildpassionforthegirl,whichforthemomentshehadforgotten.Neverthelessshedidnotspeak,thoughherfaceturnedverypale.Shestoopedoverthecouch,suchasitwas,andsearchinghisclothes,presentlystoodup,andheldoutthekeytome."Takeit,andletherout,"shesaidwithaforcedsmile."Takeitupyourself,anddoit.Youhavedonesomuchforheritisrightthatyoushoulddothis."

Itookthekey,thankingherwithmorehastethanthought,andturnedtowardsthedoor,intendingtogostraightuptotheflooraboveandreleasemademoiselle.Myhandwasalreadyonthedoor,whichmadame,Ifound,hadleftajarintheexcitementofmyentrance,whenIheardherstepbehindme.Thenextinstantshetouchedmeontheshoulder."Youfool!"sheexclaimed,hereyesflashing,"wouldyoukillher?"Wouldyougofromhimtoher,andtaketheplaguetoher?Godforgiveme,itwasinmymindtosendyou.Andmenaresuchpuppetsyouwouldhavegone!"

Itrembledwithhorror,asmuchatmystupidityasathercraft.

Forshewasright:inanothermomentIshouldhavegone,andcomprehensionandremorsewouldhavecometoolate.Asitwas,inmylongingatoncetoreproachherforherwickednessandtothankherforhertimelyrepentance,Ifoundnowords;butI

turnedawayinsilenceandwentoutwithafullheart.

CHAPTERXXX.

STRICKEN.

Outsidethedoor,standinginthedimnessofthelanding,IfoundM.d"Agen.AtanyothertimeIshouldhavebeenthefirsttoaskhimwhyhehadleftthepostwhichIhadassignedtohim.ButatthemomentIwasoffmybalance,andhispresencesuggestednothingmorethanthatherewastheverypersonwhocouldbestexecutemywishes.Iheldoutthekeytohimatarmslength,andbadehimreleaseMademoiselledelaVire,whowasintheroomabove,andescortheroutofthecastle."Donotletherlingerhere,"Icontinuedurgently."Takehertotheplacewherewefoundthewood-cutters.Youneedfearnoresistance."

"ButBruhl?"hesaid,ashetookthekeymechanicallyfromme.

"Heisoutofthequestion,"Iansweredinalowvoice."Wehavedonewithhim.Hehastheplague."

Heutteredasharpexclamation."Whatofmadame,then?"hemuttered.

"Sheiswithhim,"Isaid.

Hecriedoutsuddenlyatthat,suckinginhisbreath,asIhaveknownmendoinpain.AndbutthatIdrewbackhewouldhavelaidhishandonmysleeve."Withhim?"hestammered."Howisthat?"

"Why,man,whereelseshouldshebe?"Ianswered,forgettingthatthesightofthosetwotogetherhadatfirstsurprisedmealso,aswellasmovedme."Orwhoelseshouldbewithhim?Heisherhusband."

Hestaredatmeforamomentatthat,andthenheturnedslowlyawayandbegantogoup;whileIlookedafterhim,graduallythinkingoutthecluetohisconduct.Coulditbethatitwasnotmademoiselleattractedhim,butMadamedeBruhl?

AndwiththathintIunderstooditall.Isawinamoment;theconclusiontowhichhehadcomeonhearingofthepresenceofmadameinmyroom.Inmyroomatnight!Thechangehaddatedfromthattime;insteadofacareless,light-spiritedyouthhehadbecomeinamomentamoroseandrestivechurl,asdifficulttomanageasanunbrokencolt.QuiteclearlyIsawnowthemeaningofthechange;whyhehadshrunkfromme,andwhyallintercoursebetweenushadbeensodifficult;andsoconstrained.

Ilaughedtothinkhowhehaddeceivedhimself,andhownearlyI

hadcometodeceivingmyselfalso.AndwhatmoreImighthavethoughtIdonotknow,formymeditationswerecutshortatthispointbyaloudoutcrybelow,which,beginninginoneortwosharpcriesofalarmandwarning,culminatedquicklyinaroarofangeranddismay.

FancyingIrecognisedMaignan"svoice,Irandownthestairs,seekingaloopholewhenceIcouldcommandthescene;butfindingnone,andbecomingmoreandmorealarmed,Idescendedtothecourt,whichIfound,tomygreatsurprise,asemptyandsilentasanoldbattle-field.Neitherontheenemy"ssidenoronourswasasinglemantobeseen.WithgrowingdismayIsprangacrossthecourtanddartedthroughtheoutertower,onlytofindthatandthegatewayequallyunguarded.NorwasituntilIhadpassedthroughthelatter,andstoodonthebrowoftheslope,whichwehadhadtoclamberwithsomuchtoil,thatIlearnedwhatwasamiss.

Farbelowmeastringofmen,boundingandrunningatspeed,streameddownthehilltowardsthehorses.Somewereshouting,somerunningsilently,withtheirelbowsattheirsidesandtheirscabbardsleapingagainsttheircalves.Thehorsesstoodtetheredinaringneartheedgeofthewood,andbysomeoversighthadbeenleftunguarded.TheforemostrunnerImadeouttobeFresnoy;butanumberofhismenwerecloseuponhim,andthenafteranintervalcameMaignan,wavinghisbladeandemittingfranticthreatswitheverystride.ComprehendingatoncethatFresnoyandhisfollowing,rendereddesperatebypanicandtheprospectivelossoftheirhorses,hadtakenadvantageofmyabsenceandgivenMaignantheslip,IsawIcoulddonothingsavewatchtheresultofthestruggle.

Thiswasnotlongdelayed.Maignan"sthreats,whichseemedtomemerewasteofbreath,werenotwithouteffectonthosehefollowed.Thereisnothingwhichdemoralisesmenlikeflight.

Trooperswhohavestoodchargeafterchargewhilevictorywaspossiblewillflylikesheep,andlikesheepallowthemselvestohebutchered,whentheyhaveonceturnedtheback.Soitwashere.ManyofFresnoy"smenwerestoutfellows,buthavingstartedtoruntheyhadnostomachforfighting.TheirfearscausedMaignantoappearnear,whilethehorsesseemeddistant;

andoneafteranothertheyturnedasideandmadelikerabbitsforthewood.OnlyFresnoy,whohadtakencaretohavethestartofall,kepton,and,reachingthehorses,cuttheropewhichtetheredthenearest,andvaultednimblyonitsback.Safelyseatedthere,hetriedtofrightentheothersintobreakingloose;butnotsucceedingatthefirstattempt,andseeingMaignan,breathingvengeance,comingupwithhim,hestartedhishorse,abrightbay,androdeofflaughingalongtheedgeofthewood.

Fullycontentwiththeresult——forourcarelessnessmighthavecostusverydearly——IwasabouttoturnawaywhenIsawthatMaignanhadmountedandwaspreparingtofollow.Istayedaccordinglytoseetheend,andfrommyelevatedpositionenjoyedafirst-rateviewoftheracewhichensued.Bothwereheavyweights,andatfirstMaignangainednoground.ButwhenacoupleofhundredyardshadbeencoveredFresnoyhadtheill-lucktoblunderintosomeheavyground,andthisenablinghispursuer,whohadtimetoavoidit,togetwithintwo-scorepacesofhim,theracebecameasexcitingasIcouldwish.SlowlyandsurelyMaignan,whohadchosentheCid,reducedthedistancebetweenthemtoascoreofpaces——tofifteen——toten.ThenFresnoy,becomingalarmed,begantolookoverhisshoulderandrideinearnest.Hehadnowhip,andIsawhimraisehissheathedsword,andstrikehisbeastontheflank.Itsprangforward,andappearedforafewstridestobeholdingitsown.Againherepeatedtheblowbutthistimewithadifferentresult.Whilehishandwasstillintheair,hishorsestumbled,asitseemedtome,madeadesperateefforttorecoveritself,fellheadlongandrolledoverandover.

Somethinginthefashionofthefall,whichremindedmeofthemishapIhadsufferedonthewaytoChizeledmetolookmoreparticularlyatthehorseasitrosetremblingtoitsfeet,andstoodwithdroopinghead.Sureenough,acarefulglanceenabledme,evenatthatdistance,toidentifyitasMatthew"sbay——thetrick-horse.Shadingmyeyes,andgazingonthescenewithincreasedinterest,IsawMaignan,whohaddismounted,stoopoversomethingontheground,andagainafteranintervalstandupright.

ButFresnoydidnotrise.Norwasitwithoutawethat,guessingwhathadhappenedtohim,Irememberedhowhehadusedthisveryhorsetobefoolme;howheartlesslyhehadabandonedMatthew,itsowner;andbywhatmarvelloushaps——whichmencallchances——

Providencehadbroughtittothisplace,andputitinhishearttochooseitoutofascorewhichstoodreadytohishand!

Iwasright.Theman"sneckwasbroken.Hewasquitedead.

Maignanpassedthewordtoone,andhetoanother,andsoitreachedmeonthehill.Itdidnotfailtoawakenmemoriesbothgraveandwholesome.IthoughtofSt.Jeand"Angely,ofChize,ofthehouseintheRuelled"Arcy;theninthemidstofthesereflectionsIheardvoices,andturnedtofindmademoiselle,withM.d"Agenbehindme.

Herhandwasstillbandaged,andherdress,whichshehadnotchangedsinceleavingBlois,wastornandstainedwithmud.Herhairwasindisorder;shewalkedwithalimp.Fatigueandapprehensionhadstolenthecolourfromhercheeks,andinawordshelooked,whenIturned,sowanandmiserablethatforamomentIfearedtheplaguehadseizedher.

Theinstant,however,thatshecaughtsightofmeawaveofcolourinvaded,nothercheeksonly,butherbrowandneck.Fromherhairtothecollarofhergownshewasallcrimson.Forasecondshestoodgazingatme,andthen,asIsalutedher,shesprangforward.HadInotsteppedbackshewouldhavetakenmyhands.

Myheartsooverflowedwithjoyatthissight,thatinthecertaintyherblushgavemeIwasfaintotoywithmyhappiness.

AlljealousyofM.d"Agenwasforgotten;onlyIthoughtitwellnottoalarmherbytellingherwhatIknewoftheBruhls.

"Mademoiselle,"Isaidearnestly,bowing,butretreatingfromher,"IthankGodforyourescape.Oneofyourenemieslieshelplesshere,andanotherisdeadyonder."

"ItisnotofmyenemiesIamthinking,"sheansweredquickly,"butofGod,ofwhomyourightlyremindme;andthenofmyfriends."

"Nevertheless,"Iansweredasquickly,"Ibegyouwillnotstaytothankthemnow,butgodowntothewoodwithM.d"Agen,whowilldoallthatmaybepossibletomakeyoucomfortable."

"Andyou,sir?"shesaid,withacharmingairofconfusion.

"Imuststayhere,"Ianswered,"forawhile."

"Why?"sheaskedwithaslightfrown.

Ididnotknowhowtotellher,andIbeganlamely."Someonemuststopwithmadame,"Isaidwithoutthought.

"Madame?"sheexclaimed."Doessherequireassistance?Iwillstop."

"Godforbid!"Icried.

Idonotknowhowsheunderstoodthewords,butherface,whichhadbeenfullofsoftness,grewhard.Shemovedquicklytowardsme;but,mindfulofthedangerIcarriedaboutme,Idrewfartherback."Nonearer,mademoiselle,"Imurmured,"ifyouplease."

Shelookedpuzzled,andfinallyangry,turningawaywithasarcasticbow."Sobeit,then,sir,"shesaidproudly,"ifyoudesireit.M.d"Agen,ifyouarenotafraidofme,willyouleadmedown?"

Istoodandwatchedthemgodownthehill,comfortingmyselfwiththereflectionthatto-morrow,orthenextday,orwithinafewdaysatmost,allwouldbewell.Scanningherfigureasshemoved,Ifanciedthatshewentwithlessspiritasthespaceincreasedbetweenus.AndIpleasedmyselfwiththenotion.A

fewdays,afewhours,Ithought,andallwouldbewell.Thesunsetwhichblazedinthewestwasnomorethanafaintreflectionoftheglowwhichforafewminutespervadedmymind,longaccustomedtocoldprospectsandthechillofneglect.

AtermwasputtothesepleasantimaginingsbythearrivalofMaignan;who,pantingfromtheascentofthehill,informedmewithashamefacedairthatthetaleofhorseswascomplete,butthatfourofourmenweremissing,andhaddoubtlessgoneoffwiththefugitives.TheseprovedtobeM.d"Agen"stwolackeysandthetwovarletsM.deRambouillethadlentus.ThereremainedbesidesSimonFleixonlyMaignan"sthreemenfromRosny;

butthestateinwhichouraffairsnowstoodenabledustomakelightofthis.Iinformedtheequerry——whovisiblypaledatthenews——thatM.deBruhllayilloftheplague,andliketodie;

andIbadehimformacampinthewoodbelow,and,sendingforfoodtothehousewherewehadsleptthenightbefore,makemademoiselleascomfortableascircumstancespermitted.

Helistenedwithsurprise,andwhenIhaddoneaskedwithconcernwhatIintendedtodomyself.

"SomeonemustremainwithMadamdeBruhl,"Ianswered."Ihavealreadybeentothebedsidetoprocurethekeyofmademoiselle"sroom,andIrunnofartherrisk.AllIaskisthatyouwillremainintheneighbourhood,andfurnishuswithsuppliesshoulditbenecessary."

Helookedatmewithemotion,which,stronglyinconflictwithhisfearsasitwas,touchedmenotalittle."Butmorbleu!M.

deMarsac,"hesaid,"youwilltaketheplagueanddie."

"IfGodwills,"Ianswered,verylugubriouslyIconfess,forpalelooksinonecommonlysofearlesscouldnotbutdepressme."Butifnot,Ishallescape.Anyway,myfriend,"Icontinued,"Ioweyouaquittance.SimonFleixhasaninkhornandpaper.Bidhimbringthemtothisstoneandleavethem,andIwillwritethatMaignan,theequerryoftheBarondeRosny,servedmetotheendasabravesoldierandanhonestfriend."What,MONAMI?"I

continued,forIsawthathewasovercomebythis,whichwas,indeed,ahappythoughtofmine."Whynot?Itistrue,andwillacquityouwiththeBaron.Doit,andgo.AdviseM.d"Agen,andbetohimwhatyouhavebeentome."

Hesworetwoorthreegreatoaths,suchasmenofhiskindusetohideanexcessoffeeling,andaftersomefurtherremonstrancewentawaytocarryoutmyorders;leavingmetostandonthebrowinastrangekindofsolitude,andwatchhorsesandmenwithdrawtothewood,untilthewholevalleyseemedlefttomeandstillnessandthegreyevening.ForatimeIstoodinthought.

Thenremindingmyself,forafilliptomyspirits,thatIhadbeenfarmorealonewhenIwalkedthestreetsofSt.Jeanfriendlessandthreadbare(thanIwasnow),Iturned,andswingingmyscabbardagainstmybootsforcompany,stumbledthroughthedark,silentcourtyard,andmountedascheerfullyasIcouldtomadame"sroom.

Todetailallthatpassedduringthenextfivedayswouldbetediousandinindifferenttaste,seeingthatIamwritingthismemoirfortheperusalofmenofhonour;forthoughIconsidertheofficeswhichthewholecanperformforthesicktobeworthyoftheattentionofeveryman,howeverwellborn,whoproposestoseeservice,theyseemtobemorehonourableinthedoingthanthetelling.Oneepisode,however,whichmarkedthosedaysfilledmethen,asitdoesnow,withthemostlivelypleasure;

andthatwastheunexpecteddevotiondisplayedbySimonFleix,who,comingtome,refusedtoleave,andshowedhimselfatthispinchtobepossessedofsuchsterlingqualitiesthatIfreelyforgavehimthedeceithehadformerlypractisedonme.Thefitsofmoodysilenceintowhichhestillfellattimesandanoccasionalirascibilityseemedtoshowthathehadnotaltogetherconqueredhisinsanefancy;butthemerefactthat;hehadcometomeinasituationofhazard,andvoluntarilyremovedhimselffrommademoiselle"sneighbourhood,gavemegoodhopeforthefuture.

M.deBruhldiedearlyonthemorningofthesecondday,andSimonandIburiedhimatnoon.Hewasamanofcourageandaddress,lackingonlyprinciples.Inspiteofmadame"sgriefandprostration,whichwereasgreatasthoughshehadlostthebesthusbandintheworld,weremovedbeforenighttoaseparatecampinthewoods;andleftwiththeutmostreliefthegreyruinonthehill,inwhich,itseemedtome,wehadlivedanage.Inournewbivouac,where,gamebeingabundant,andtheweatherwarm,welackednocomfort,exceptthesocietyofourfriends,weremainedfourdayslonger.Onthefifthmorningwemettheothersofourcompanybyappointmentonthenorthroad,andcommencedthereturnjourney.

Thankfulthatwehadescapedcontagion,weneverthelessstillproposedtoobserveforatimesuchprecautionsinregardtotheothersasseemednecessary;ridingintherearandhavingnocommunicationwiththem,thoughtheyshowedbysignsthepleasuretheyfeltatseeingus.Fromthefrequencywithwhichmademoiselleturnedandlookedbehindher,Ijudgedshehadovercomeherpiqueatmystrangeconduct;whichtheothersshouldbythistimehaveexplainedtoher.Content,therefore,withthepresent,andfullofconfidenceinthefuture,Irodealonginararestateofsatisfaction;atonemomentplanningwhatIwoulddo,andatanotherreviewingwhatIhaddone.

Thebrightnessandsoftnessoftheday,andthebeautyofthewoods,whichinsomeplaces,Iremember,wereburstingintoleaf,contributedmuchtoestablishmeinthisframeofmind.Thehatefulmist,whichhadsogreatlydepressedus,haddisappeared;

leavingthefaceofthecountryvisibleinallthebrillianceofearlyspring.Themenwhorodebeforeus,cheeredbythehappyomen,laughedandtalkedastheyrode,ortriedthepacesoftheirhorses,wherethetreesgrewsparsely;andtheirjestsandlaughtercomingpleasantlytoourearsaswefollowed,warmedevenmadame"ssadfacetoasemblanceofhappiness.

Iwasridingalonginthisstateofcontentmentwhenafeelingoffatigue,whichthedistancewehadcomedidnotseemtojustify,ledmetospurtheCidintoabriskerpace.Thesensationoflassitudestillcontinued,however,andindeedgrewworse;sothatIwonderedidlywhetherIhadover-eatenmyselfatmylastmeal.Thenthethingpassedforawhilefrommymind,whichthedescentofasteephillsufficientlyoccupied.

Butafewminuteslater,happeningtoturninthesaddle,I

experiencedastrangeandsuddendizziness;soexcessiveastoforcemetograspthecantle,andclingtoit,whiletreesandhillsappearedtodanceroundme.Aquick,hotpaininthesidefollowed,almostbeforeIrecoveredthepowerofthought;andthisincreasedsorapidly,andwasfromthefirstsodefinite,that,withadreadfulapprehensionalreadyformedinmymind,I

thrustmyhandinsidemyclothes,andfoundthatswellingwhichisthemostsureanddeadlysymptomoftheplague.

Thehorrorofthatmoment——inwhichIsawallthosethingsonthepossessionofwhichIhadjustbeencongratulatingmyself,passhopelesslyfromme,leavingmeindreadfulgloom——Iwillnotattempttodescribeinthisplace.Letitsufficethattheworldlostinamomentitsjoyousness,thesunshineitswarmth.Thegreennessandbeautyroundme,whichaninstantbeforehadfilledmewithpleasure,seemedonasuddennomorethanagrimandcrueljestatmyexpense,andIanatomperishingunmarkedandunnoticed.Yes,anatom,amote;thebitternessofthatfeelingIwellremember.Then,innolongtime——beingasoldier——I

recoveredmycoolness,and,retainingthepowertothink,decidedwhatitbehovedmetodo.

CHAPTERXXXI.

UNDERTHEGREENWOOD.

Toescapefrommycompanionsonsomepretext,whichshouldenablemetoensuretheirsafetywithoutarousingtheirfears,wastheonethoughtwhichpossessedmeonthesubsidenceofmyfirstalarm.Probablyitansweredtothatinstinctinanimalswhichbidsthemgetawayalonewhenwoundedorattackedbydisease;andwithmeithadthefullerplayasthepainprevailedratherbyparoxysms,thaninpermanence,and,comingandgoing,allowedintervalsofease,inwhichIwasabletothinkclearlyandconsecutively,andeventositfirmlyinthesaddle.

Themomentoneoftheseintervalsenabledmetocontrolmyself,I

usedittothinkwhereImightgowithoutdangertoothers;andatonceandnaturallymythoughtsturnedtothelastplacewehadpassed;whichhappenedtobethehouseinthegorgewherewehadreceivednewsofBruhl"sdivergencefromtheroad.Themanwholivedtherealonehadhadtheplague;thereforehedidnotfearit.Theplaceitselfwassolitary,andIcouldreachit,ridingslowly,inhalfanhour.OntheinstantandwithoutmoredelayI

determinedonthiscourse.Iwouldreturn,and,committingmyselftothefellow"sgoodoffices,bidhimdenymetoothers,andespeciallytomyfriends——shouldtheyseekme.

AwarethatIbadnotimetoloseifIwouldputthisplanintoexecutionbeforethepainsreturnedtosapmycourage,Idrewbridleatonce,andmutteredsomeexcusetomadame;ifIrememberrightly,thatIhaddroppedmygauntlet.Whateverthepretext——

andmydreadwasgreatlestsheshouldobserveanystrangenessinmymanner——itpassedwithher;byreason,chiefly,Ithink,ofthegriefwhichmonopolisedher.Sheletmego,andbeforeanyoneelsecouldmarkormissmeIwasahundredyardsawayontheback-track,andalreadyshelteredfromobservationbyaturnintheroad.

Theexcitementofmyevasionsupportedmeforawhileafterleavingher;andthenforanotherwhile,aparoxysmofpaindeprivedmeofthepowerofthought.Butwhenthislastwasover,leavingmeweakandshaken,yetclearinmymind,themostmiserablesadnessanddepressionthatcanbeconceivedcameuponme;and,accompanyingmethroughthewood,filleditsavenues(whichdoubtlesswerefairenoughtoothers"eyes)withtheblacknessofdespair.Isawbutthecharnel-house,andthateverywhere.Itwasnotonlythatthehorrorsofthefirstdiscoveryreturneduponmeandalmostunmannedme;noronlythatregretsandmemories,picturesofthepastandplansforthefuture,crowdedthickuponmymind,sothatIcouldhaveweptatthethoughtofallendinghere.Butinmyweaknessmademoiselle"sfaceshonewherethewoodwasdarkest,and,temptingandprovokingmetoreturn——wereitonlytotellherthat,grimanddullasIseemed,Ilovedher——triedmewithasubtletemptationalmostbeyondmystrengthtoresist.Allthatwasmeaninmeroseinarms,allthatwasselfishclamouredtoknowwhyImustdieintheditchwhileothersrodeinthesunshine;whyImustgotothepit,whileotherslovedandlived!

AndsohardwasIpressedthatIthinkIshouldhavegivenwayhadtheridebeenlongerormyhorselesssmoothandnimble.Butinthemidstofmymisery,whichbodilypainwasbeginningtoaugmenttosuchadegreethatIcouldscarcelysee,andhadtoridegrippingthesaddlewithbothhands,Ireachedthemill.Myhorsestoppedofitsownaccord.Themanwehadseenbeforecameout.IhadIjuststrengthlefttotellhimwhatwasthematter,andwhatIwantedandthenafreshattackcameon,withsickness,andovercomebyvertigoIfelltotheground.

Ihavebutanindistinctideawhathappenedafterthat;untilI

foundmyselfinsidethehouse,clingingtotheman"sarm.Hepointedtoabox-bedinonecorneroftheroom(whichwas,orseemedtomysickeyes,gloomyanddarksomeintheextreme),andwouldhavehadmeliedowninit.Butsomethinginsidemerevoltedagainstthebed,anddespitetheforceheused,Ibrokeaway,andthrewmyselfonaheapofstrawwhichIsawinanothercorner.

"Isnotthe,bedgoodenoughforyou?"hegrumbled.

Istrovetotellhimitwasnotthat.

"Itshouldbegoodenoughtodieon,"hecontinuedbrutally.

"There"sfivehavediedonthatbed,I"dhaveyouknow!Mywifeone,andmysonanother,andmydaughteranother;andthenmysonagain,andadaughteragain.Five!Ay,fiveinthatbed!"

Broodinginthegloomofthechimney-corner,wherehewasbusiedaboutablackpot,hecontinuedtomutterandglanceatmeaskance;butafterawhileIswoonedawaywithpain.

WhenIopenedmyeyesagaintheroomwasdarker.ThemanstillsatwhereIhadlastseenhim,butanoise,thesame,perhaps,whichhadrousedme,drewhimasIlookedtotheunglazedwindow.

Avoiceoutside,thetonesofwhichIseemedtoknow,inquiredifhehadseenme;andsocarriedawaywasIbytheexcitementofthemomentthatIroseonmyelbowtoheartheanswer.Butthemanwasstaunch.Iheardhimdenyallknowledgeofme,andpresentlythesoundofretreatinghoofsandtheechoofvoicesdyinginthedistanceassuredmeIwasleft.

Then,atthatinstant,adoubtofthemanonwhosecompassionI

hadthrownmyselfenteredmymind.Plague-stricken,hopelessasIwas,itchilledmetotheveryheart;stayinginamomentthefeebletearsIwasabouttoshed,andcuringeventhevertigo,whichforcedmetoclutchatthestrawonwhichIlay.Whetherthethoughtarosefromasicklysenseofmyownimpotence,orwasbasedonthefellow"smoroseairandthestealthyglanceshecontinuedtocastatme,IamasunabletosayasIamtodecidewhetheritwaswell-founded,orthefruitofmyownfancy.

Possiblythegloomoftheroomandtheman"ssurlywordsinclinedmetosuspicion;possiblyhissecretthoughtsportrayedthemselvesinhishang-dogvisage.Afterwardsitappearedthathehadstrippedme,whileIlay,ofeverythingofvalue;buthemayhavedonethisinthebeliefthatIshoulddie.

AllIknowisthatIknewnothingcertain,becausethefeardiedalmostassoonasitwasborn.Themanhadscarcelyseatedhimselfagain,orIconceivedthethought,whenasecondalarmoutsidecausedhimtospringtohisfeet.Scowlingandmutteringashewent,hehurriedtothewindow.Butbeforehereacheditthedoorwasdashedviolentlyopen,andSimonFleixstoodintheentrance.

Therecameinwithhimsoblessedarushoflightandlifeasinamomentdispelledthehorroroftheroom,andstrippedmeatoneandthesametimeoffearandmanhood.ForwhetherIwouldorno,atsightofthefamiliarface,whichIhadfledsolately,I

burstintotears;and,stretchingoutmyhandstohim,asafrightenedchildmighthavedone,calledonhimbyname.I

supposetheplaguewasbythistimesoplainlywrittenonmyfacethatallwholookedmightread;forhestoodatgaze,staringatme,andwasstillsostandingwhenahandputhimasideandaslighter,smallerfigure,pale-facedandhooded,stoodforamomentbetweenmeandthesunshine.Itwasmademoiselle!

That,IthankGod,restoredmetomyself,orIhadbeenforevershamed.IcriedtothemwithallthevoiceIhadlefttotakeheraway;andcallingoutfranticallyagainandagainthatIhadtheplagueandshewoulddie,Ibadethemanclosethedoor.

Nay,regainingsomethingofstrengthinmyfearforher,Iroseup,half-dressedasIwas,andwouldhavefledintosomecornertoavoidher,stillcallingouttothemtotakeheraway,totakeheraway——ifafreshparoxysmhadnotseizedme,sothatIfellblindandhelplesswhereIwas.

ForatimeafterthatIknewnothing;untilsomeoneheldwatertomylips,andIdrankgreedily,andpresentlyawoketothefactthattheentrancewasdarkwithfacesandfiguresallgazingatmeasIlay.ButIcouldnotseeher;andIhadsenseenoughtoknowandbethankfulthatshewasnolongeramongthem.IwouldfainhavebiddenMaignantobegonetoo,forIreadtheconsternationinhisface.ButIcouldnotmusterstrengthorvoiceforthepurpose,andwhenIturnedmyheadtoseewhoheldme——ahme!itcomesbacktomestillindreams——itwasmademoiselle"shairthatsweptmyforeheadandherhandthatministeredtome;whiletearsshedidnottrytohideorwipeawayfellonmyhotcheek.Icouldhavepushedherawayeventhen,forshewasslightandsmall;butthepainscameuponme,andwithasobchokingmyvoiceIlostallknowledge.

IamtoldthatIlayformorethanamonthbetweenlifeanddeath,nowburningwithfeverandnowinthecoldfit;andthatbutforthetendancewhichneverfailednorfaltered,norcouldhavebeenoutdonehadmymaladybeentheleastinfectiousintheworld.Imusthavediedahundredtimes,ashundredsroundmediddieweekbyweekinthatyear.Fromthefirsttheytookmeoutofthehouse(whereIthinkIshouldhaveperishedquickly,soimpregnatedwasitwiththeplaguepoison)andlaidmeunderascreenofboughsintheforest,withavastquantityofcloaksandhorse-clothscunninglydisposedtowindward.HereIransomeriskfromcoldandexposureandthefallofheavydews;but,ontheotherhand,hadalltheairsofheaventoclearawaythehumoursandexpelthefeverfrommybrain.

Henceitwasthatwhenthefirstfeeblebeginningsofconsciousnessawokeinmeagain,theyandthelightstoleinonmethroughgreenleaves,andoverhangingboughs,andthefreshnessandverdureofthespringwoods.Thesunshinewhichreachedmywateryeyeswassoftenedbyitspassagethroughgreattrees,whichgrewandexpandedasIgazedupintothem,untileachbecameaverdantworld,withallaworld"sdiversityoflife.Growntiredofthis,Ihadstilllongavenuesofshade,carpetedwithflowers,topeerinto;oralittlewoodedbottom——wherethegroundfellawayononeside——thatblazedandburnedwithredthorn.Ay,andhenceitwasthatthefirstsoundsI

heard,whenthefeverleftmeatlast,andIknewmorningfromevening,andmanfromwoman,werethesongsofbirdscallingtotheirmates.

MademoiselleandMadamedeBruhl,withFanchetteandSimonFleix,layallthistimeinsuchshelterascouldberaisedforthemwhereIlay;M.Francoisandthreestoutfellows,whomMaignanlefttoguarduslivinginahutwithinhail.Maignanhimself,afterseeingoutaweekofmyillness,hadperforcereturnedtohismaster,andnonewshadsincebeenreceivedfromhim.Thankstothetimelymoveintothewoods,nootherofthepartyfellill,andbythetimeIwasabletostandandspeaktheravagesofthediseasehadsogreatlydecreasedthatfearwasatanend.

IshouldwastewordswereItotrytodescribehowthepeaceandquietudeofthelifeweledintheforestduringthetimeofmyrecoverysankintomyheart;whichhadknown,savebymymother"sbedside,littleofsuchjoys.Toawakeinthemorningtosweetsoundsandscents,toeatwithrevivingappetiteandfeeltheslowgrowthofstrength,toliealldayinshadeorsunshineasitpleasedme,andhearwomen"svoicesandtinklinglaughter,tohavenothoughtoftheworldandnoknowledgeofit,sothatwemighthavebeen,foranythingwesaw,inanothersphere——thesethingsmighthavesufficedforhappinesswithoutthatwhichaddedtoeachandeveryoneofthemasweeteranddeeperandmorelastingjoy.Ofwhichnext.

IhadnotbeguntotakenoticelongbeforeIsawthatM.Francoisandmadamehadcometoanunderstanding;suchanone,atleast,aspermittedhimtodoallforhercomfortandentertainmentwithoutcommittinghertomorethanwasbecomingatsuch,aseason.Naturallythisleftmademoisellemuchinmycompany;acircumstancewhichwouldhaveripenedintopassiontheaffectionIbeforeentertainedforher,hadnotgratitudeandanearerobservanceofhermeritsalreadyelevatedmyregardintothemostardentworshipthateventheyoungestlovereverfeltforhismistress.

Inproportion,however,asIandmylovegrewstronger,andmademoiselle"spresencegrewmorenecessarytomyhappiness——sothatweresheawaybutanhourIfella-moping——shebegantodrawofffromme,andabsentingherselfmoreandmoreonlongwalksinthewoods,by-and-byreducedmetosuchapitch,ofmiseryasbidfairtocompletewhatthefeverhadleftundone,IfthishadhappenedintheworldIthinkitlikelythatIshouldhavesufferedinsilence.Buthere,underthegreenwood,incommonenjoymentofGod"sairandearth,weseemedmorenearlyequal.Shewasscarcebetterdressed,thanasutler"swife;

whilerecollectionsofherwealthandstation,thoughtheyassailedmenightly,lostmuchoftheirpointinpresenceofheryouthandofthatfairandpatientgentlenesswhichforestlifeandthedutiesofanursehadfostered.

Soithappenedthatoneday,whenshehadbeenabsentlongerthanusual,Itookmycourageinmyhandandwenttomeetherasfarasthestreamwhichranthroughthebottombytheredthorn.

Here,ataplacewheretherewerethreestepping-stones,Iwaitedforher;firsttakingawaythestepping-stones,thatshemighthavetopause,and,beingataloss,mightbegladtoseeme.

Shecamepresently,trippingthroughanalleyinthelowwood,withhereyesontheground,andherwholecarriagefullofasweetpensivenesswhichitdidmegoodtosee.Iturnedmybackonthestreambeforeshesawme,andmadeapretenceofbeingtakenupwithsomethinginanotherdirection.Doubtlesssheespiedmesoon,andbeforeshecameverynear;butshemadenosignuntilshereachedthebrink,andfoundthestepping-stonesweregone.

Then,whethershesuspectedmeornot,shecalledouttome,notonce,butseveraltimes.For,partlytotantaliseher,asloverswill,andpartlybecauseitcharmedmetohearherusemyname,I

wouldnotturnatonce.

WhenIdid,anddiscoveredherstandingwithonesmallfootdallyingwiththewater,Icriedoutwithwell-affectedconcern;

andinagreathurryrantowardsher,payingnoattentiontoherchidingorthepettishhaughtinesswithwhichshespoketome.

"Thestepping-stonesareallonyourside,"shesaidimperiously.

"Whohasmovedthem?"

Ilookedaboutwithoutanswering,andatlastpretendedtofindthem;whileshestoodwatchingme,tappingthegroundwithonefootthewhile.Despiteherimpatience,thestonewhichwasnearesttoherItookcaretobringlast——thatshemightnotcrosswithoutmyassistance.Butafterallshesteppedoversolightlyandquicklythatthehandsheplacedinmineseemedscarcelytorestthereasecond.YetwhenshewasoverImanagedtoretainit;nordidsheresist,thoughhercheek,whichhadbeenredbefore,turnedcrimsonandhereyesfell,andboundtomebythelinkofherlittlehand,shestoodbesidemewithherwholefiguredrooping.

"Mademoiselle,"Isaidgravely,summoningallmyresolutiontomyaid,"doyouknowofwhatthatstreamwithitsstepping-stonesremindsme?"

Sheshookherheadbutdidnotanswer.

"OfthestreamwhichhasflowedbetweenusfromthedaywhenI

firstsawyouatSt.Jean,"saidinalowvoice."Ithasflowedbetweenus,anditstilldoes——separatingus."

"Whatstream?"shemurmured,withhereyescastdown,andherfootplayingwiththemoss."Youspeakinriddles,sir."

"Youunderstandthisoneonlytoowell,mademoiselle,"I

answered."Areyounotyoungandgayandbeautiful,whileIamold,oralmostold,anddullandgrave?Youarerichandwell-

thought-ofatCourt,andIasoldieroffortune,nottoosuccessful.WhatdidyouthinkofmewhenyoufirstsawmeatSt.Jean?WhatwhenIcametoRosny?That,mademoiselle,"I

continuedwithfervour,"isthestreamwhichflowsbetweenusandseparatesus;andIknowofbutonestepping-stonethatcanbridgeit."

Shelookedaside,toyingwithapieceofthorn-blossomshehadpicked.Itwasnotredderthanhercheeks.

"Thatonestepping-stone,"Isaid,afterwaitingvainlyforanywordorsignfromher,"isLove.Manyweeksago,mademoiselle,whenIhadlittlecausetolikeyou,Ilovedyou;IlovedyouwhetherIwouldornot,andwithoutthoughtorhopeofreturn.I

shouldhavebeenmadhadIspokentoyouthen.Mad,andworsethanmad.Butnow,nowthatIoweyoumylife,nowthatIhavedrunkfromyourhandinfever,and,awakingearlyandlate,havefoundyoubymypillow——nowthat,seeingyoucomeinandoutinthemidstoffearandhardship,Ihavelearnedtoregardyouasawomankindandgentleasmymother——nowthatIloveyou,sothattobewithyouisjoy,andawayfromyougrief,isitpresumptioninmenow,mademoiselle,tothinkthatthatstreammaybebridged?"

Istopped,outofbreath,andsawthatshewastrembling.Butshespokepresently."Yousaidonestepping-stone?"shemurmured.

"Yes,"Iansweredhoarsely,tryinginvaintolookatherface,whichshekeptavertedfromme.

"Thereshouldbetwo,"shesaid,almostinawhisper."Yourlove,sir,and——andmine.Youhavesaidmuchoftheone,andnothingoftheother.Inthatyouarewrong,forIamproudstill.AndIwouldnotcrossthestreamyouspeakofforanyloveofyours!"

"Ah!"Icriedinsharpestpain.

"But,"shecontinued,lookingupatmeonasuddenwitheyesthattoldmeall,"becauseIloveyouIamwillingtocrossit——tocrossitonceforever,andtolivebeyonditallmylife——ifI

maylivemylifewithyou."

Ifellonmykneeandkissedherhandagainandagaininaraptureofjoyandgratitude.By-and-byshepulleditfromme.

"Ifyouwill,sir,"shesaid,"youmaykissmylips.Ifyoudonot,nomaneverwill."

Afterthat,asmaybeguessed,wewalkedeverydayintheforest,makinglongerandlongerexcursionsasmystrengthcamebacktome,andthenearerpartsgrewfamiliar.Fromearlydawn,whenI

broughtmyloveaposyofflowers,tolateevening,whenFanchettehurriedherfromme,ourdayswerepassedinalongroundofdelight;beingfilledfullofallbeautifulthings——

love,andsunshine,andripplingstreams,andgreenbanks,onwhichwesattogetherunderscentedlimes,tellingoneanotherallwehadeverthought,andespeciallyallwehadeverthoughtofoneanother.Sometimes——whenthelightwaslowintheevening——wespokeofmymother;andonce——butthatwasinthesunshine,whenthebeeswerehummingandmybloodhadbeguntorunstronglyinmyveins——Ispokeofmygreatanddistantkinsman,Rohan.Butmademoisellewouldhearnothingofhim,murmuringagainandagaininmyear,"Ihavecrossed,mylove,I

havecrossed."

Trulythesandsofthathour-glasswereofgold.Butintimetheyranout.FirstM.Francois,spurredbytherestlessnessofyouth,andconvincedthatmadamewouldforawhileyieldnofurther,leftus,andwentbacktotheworld.Thennewscameofgreateventsthatcouldnotfailtomoveus.TheKingofFranceandtheKingofNavarrehadmetatTours,andembracinginthesightofanimmensemultitude,hadrepulsedtheLeaguewithslaughterinthesuburbofSt.Symphorien.Fastonthisfollowedthetidingsoftheirmarchnorthwardswithanoverwhelmingarmyoffifty-thousandmenofbothreligions,bent,rumourhadit,onthesignalpunishmentofParis.