第4章

thatothersecondhasinformedM。Noir。"

"H"m!Imighthaveknownit。ItisjustlikethatFourtou，whoalwayswantstomakeadisplay。"

AthalfpastnineinthemorningtheprocessionapproachedthefieldofPlessis-Piquetinthefollowingorder:firstcameourcarriage——nobodyinitbutM。Gambettaandmyself；

thenacarriagecontainingM。Fourtouandhissecond；

thenacarriagecontainingtwopoet-oratorswhodidnotbelieveinGod，andthesehadMS。funeralorationsprojectingfromtheirbreastpockets；thenacarriagecontainingtheheadsurgeonsandtheircasesofinstruments；

theneightprivatecarriagescontainingconsultingsurgeons；

thenahackcontainingacoroner；thenthetwohearses；

thenacarriagecontainingtheheadundertakers；

thenatrainofassistantsandmutesonfoot；andafterthesecameploddingthroughthefogalongprocessionofcampfollowers，police，andcitizensgenerally。

Itwasanobleturnout，andwouldhavemadeafinedisplayifwehadhadthinnerweather。

Therewasnoconversation。Ispokeseveraltimestomyprincipal，butIjudgehewasnotawareofit，forhealwaysreferredtohisnote-bookandmutteredabsently，"IdiethatFrancemightlive。"

"Arrivedonthefield，myfellow-secondandIpacedoffthethirty-fiveyards，andthendrewlotsforchoiceofposition。Thislatterwasbutanornamentalceremony，forallthechoiceswerealikeinsuchweather。

Thesepreliminariesbeingended，Iwenttomyprincipalandaskedhimifhewasready。Hespreadhimselfouttohisfullwidth，andsaidinasternvoice，"Ready!Letthebatteriesbecharged。"

Theloadingprocesswasdoneinthepresenceofdulyconstitutedwitnesses。Weconsidereditbesttoperformthisdelicateservicewiththeassistanceofalantern，onaccountofthestateoftheweather。Wenowplacedourmen。

Atthispointthepolicenoticedthatthepublichadmassedthemselvestogetherontherightandleftofthefield；

theythereforebeggedadelay，whiletheyshouldputthesepoorpeopleinaplaceofsafety。

Therequestwasgranted。

Thepolicehavingorderedthetwomultitudestotakepositionsbehindtheduelists，wewereoncemoreready。

Theweathergrowingstillmoreopaque，itwasagreedbetweenmyselfandtheothersecondthatbeforegivingthefatalsignalweshouldeachdeliveraloudwhooptoenablethecombatantstoascertaineachother"swhereabouts。

Inowreturnedtomyprincipal，andwasdistressedtoobservethathehadlostagooddealofhisspirit。

Itriedmybesttoheartenhim。Isaid，"Indeed，sir，thingsarenotasbadastheyseem。Consideringthecharacteroftheweapons，thelimitednumberofshotsallowed，thegenerousdistance，theimpenetrablesolidityofthefog，andtheaddedfactthatoneofthecombatantsisone-eyedandtheothercross-eyedandnear-sighted，itseemstomethatthisconflictneednotnecessarilybefatal。Therearechancesthatbothofyoumaysurvive。Therefore，cheerup；

donotbedownhearted。"

Thisspeechhadsogoodaneffectthatmyprincipalimmediatelystretchedforthhishandandsaid，"Iammyselfagain；givemetheweapon。"

Ilaidit，alllonelyandforlorn，inthecenterofthevastsolitudeofhispalm。Hegazedatitandshuddered。

Andstillmournfullycontemplatingit，hemurmuredinabrokenvoice:

"Alas，itisnotdeathIdread，butmutilation。"

Iheartenedhimoncemore，andwithsuchsuccessthathepresentlysaid，"Letthetragedybegin。Standatmyback；

donotdesertmeinthissolemnhour，myfriend。"

Igavehimmypromise。InowassistedhimtopointhispistoltowardthespotwhereIjudgedhisadversarytobestanding，andcautionedhimtolistenwellandfurtherguidehimselfbymyfellow-second"swhoop。

ThenIproppedmyselfagainstM。Gambetta"sback，andraisedarousing"Whoop-ee!"Thiswasansweredfromoutthefardistancesofthefog，andIimmediatelyshouted:

"One——two——three——FIRE!"

TwolittlesoundslikeSPIT!SPIT!brokeuponmyear，andinthesameinstantIwascrushedtotheearthunderamountainofflesh。BruisedasIwas，Iwasstillabletocatchafaintaccentfromabove，tothiseffect:

"Idiefor……for……perditiontakeit，whatISitIdiefor?……oh，yes——FRANCE!IdiethatFrancemaylive!"

Thesurgeonsswarmedaroundwiththeirprobesintheirhands，andappliedtheirmicroscopestothewholeareaofM。Gambetta"sperson，withthehappyresultoffindingnothinginthenatureofawound。Thenasceneensuedwhichwasineverywaygratifyingandinspiriting。

Thetwogladiatorsfelluponeachother"sneck，withfloodsofproudandhappytears；thatothersecondembracedme；

thesurgeons，theorators，theundertakers，thepolice，everybodyembraced，everybodycongratulated，everybodycried，andthewholeatmospherewasfilledwithpraiseandwithjoyunspeakable。

ItseemstomethenthatIwouldratherbeaheroofaFrenchduelthanacrownedandscepteredmonarch。

Whenthecommotionhadsomewhatsubsided，thebodyofsurgeonsheldaconsultation，andafteragooddealofdebatedecidedthatwithpropercareandnursingtherewasreasontobelievethatIwouldsurvivemyinjuries。

Myinternalhurtsweredeemedthemostserious，sinceitwasapparentthatabrokenribhadpenetratedmyleftlung，andthatmanyofmyorganshadbeenpressedoutsofartoonesideortheotherofwheretheybelonged，thatitwasdoubtfuliftheywouldeverlearntoperformtheirfunctionsinsuchremoteandunaccustomedlocalities。

Theythensetmyleftarmintwoplaces，pulledmyrighthipintoitssocketagain，andre-elevatedmynose。

Iwasanobjectofgreatinterest，andevenadmiration；

andmanysincereandwarm-heartedpersonshadthemselvesintroducedtome，andsaidtheywereproudtoknowtheonlymanwhohadbeenhurtinaFrenchduelinfortyyears。

Iwasplacedinanambulanceattheveryheadoftheprocession；

andthuswithgratifying"ECLATIwasmarchedintoParis，themostconspicuousfigureinthatgreatspectacle，anddepositedatthehospital。

ThecrossoftheLegionofHonorhasbeenconferreduponme。However，fewescapethatdistinction。

Suchisthetrueversionofthemostmemorableprivateconflictoftheage。

Ihavenocomplaintstomakeagainstanyone。Iactedformyself，andIcanstandtheconsequences。

Withoutboasting，IthinkImaysayIamnotafraidtostandbeforeamodernFrenchduelist，butaslongasIkeepinmyrightmindIwillneverconsenttostandbehindoneagain。

CHAPTERIX

[WhattheBeautifulMaidenSaid]

OnedaywetookthetrainandwentdowntoMannheimtosee"KingLear"playedinGerman。Itwasamistake。

Wesatinourseatsthreewholehoursandneverunderstoodanythingbutthethunderandlightning；andeventhatwasreversedtosuitGermanideas，forthethundercamefirstandthelightningfollowedafter。

Thebehavioroftheaudiencewasperfect。Therewerenorustlings，orwhisperings，orotherlittledisturbances；

eachactwaslistenedtoinsilence，andtheapplaudingwasdoneafterthecurtainwasdown。Thedoorsopenedathalfpastfour，theplaybeganpromptlyathalfpastfive，andwithintwominutesafterwardallwhowerecomingwereintheirseats，andquietreigned。AGermangentlemaninthetrainhadsaidthataShakespearianplaywasanappreciatedtreatinGermanyandthatweshouldfindthehousefilled。Itwastrue；allthesixtierswerefilled，andremainedsototheend——whichsuggestedthatitisnotonlybalconypeoplewholikeShakespeareinGermany，butthoseofthepitandgallery，too。

Anothertime，wewenttoMannheimandattendedashivaree——

otherwiseanopera——theonecalled"Lohengrin。"Thebangingandslammingandboomingandcrashingweresomethingbeyondbelief。TherackingandpitilesspainofitremainsstoredupinmymemoryalongsidethememoryofthetimethatIhadmyteethfixed。

Therewerecircumstanceswhichmadeitnecessaryformetostaythroughthehourhourstotheend，andIstayed；

buttherecollectionofthatlong，dragging，relentlessseasonofsufferingisindestructible。Tohavetoendureitinsilence，andsittingstill，madeitalltheharder。

Iwasinarailedcompartmentwitheightortenstrangers，ofthetwosexes，andthiscompelledrepression；

yetattimesthepainwassoexquisitethatIcouldhardlykeepthetearsback。Atthosetimes，asthehowlingsandwailingsandshriekingofthesingers，andtheragingsandroaringsandexplosionsofthevastorchestrarosehigherandhigher，andwilderandwilder，andfiercerandfiercer，IcouldhavecriedifIhadbeenalone。

Thosestrangerswouldnothavebeensurprisedtoseeamandosuchathingwhowasbeinggraduallyskinned，buttheywouldhavemarveledatithere，andmaderemarksaboutitnodoubt，whereastherewasnothinginthepresentcasewhichwasanadvantageoverbeingskinned。

Therewasawaitofhalfanhourattheendofthefirstact，andIcouldnottrustmyselftodoit，forIfeltthatI

shoulddeserttostayout。Therewasanotherwaitofhalfanhourtowardnineo"clock，butIhadgonethroughsomuchbythattimethatIhadnospiritleft，andsohadnodesirebuttobeletalone。

Idonotwishtosuggestthattherestofthepeopletherewerelikeme，for，indeed，theywerenot。Whetheritwasthattheynaturallylikedthatnoise，orwhetheritwasthattheyhadlearnedtolikeitbygettingusedtoit，Ididnotatthetimeknow；buttheydidlike——thiswasplainenough。Whileitwasgoingontheysatandlookedasraptandgratefulascatsdowhenonestrokestheirbacks；

andwheneverthecurtainfelltheyrosetotheirfeet，inonesolidmightymultitude，andtheairwassnowedthickwithwavinghandkerchiefs，andhurricanesofapplauseswepttheplace。Thiswasnotcomprehensibletome。

Ofcourse，thereweremanypeopletherewhowerenotundercompulsiontostay；yetthetierswereasfullatthecloseastheyhadbeenatthebeginning。Thisshowedthatthepeoplelikedit。

Itwasacurioussortofaplay。Inthemannerofcostumesandsceneryitwasfineandshowyenough；

buttherewasnotmuchaction。Thatistosay，therewasnotmuchreallydone，itwasonlytalkedabout；

andalwaysviolently。Itwaswhatonemightcallanarrativeplay。Everybodyhadanarrativeandagrievance，andnonewerereasonableaboutit，butallinanoffensiveandungovernablestate。Therewaslittleofthatsortofcustomarythingwherethetenorandthesopranostanddownbythefootlights，warbling，withblendedvoices，andkeepholdingouttheirarmstowardeachotheranddrawingthembackandspreadingbothhandsoverfirstonebreastandthentheotherwithashakeandapressure——no，itwaseveryrioterforhimselfandnoblending。

Eachsanghisindictivenarrativeinturn，accompaniedbythewholeorchestraofsixtyinstruments，andwhenthishadcontinuedforsometime，andonewashopingtheymightcometoanunderstandingandmodifythenoise，agreatchoruscomposedentirelyofmaniacswouldsuddenlybreakforth，andthenduringtwominutes，andsometimesthree，IlivedoveragainallthatIsufferedthetimetheorphanasylumburneddown。

Weonlyhadonebrieflittleseasonofheavenandheaven"ssweetecstasyandpeaceduringallthislonganddiligentandacrimoniousreproductionoftheotherplace。

Thiswaswhileagorgeousprocessionofpeoplemarchedaroundandaround，inthethirdact，andsangtheWeddingChorus。

Tomyuntutoredearthatwasmusic——almostdivinemusic。

Whilemysearedsoulwassteepedinthehealingbalmofthosegracioussounds，itseemedtomethatIcouldalmostresufferthetormentswhichhadgonebefore，inordertobesohealedagain。Thereiswherethedeepingenuityoftheoperaticideaisbetrayed。Itdealssolargelyinpainthatitsscattereddelightsareprodigiouslyaugmentedbythecontrasts。Aprettyairinanoperaisprettiertherethanitcouldbeanywhereelse，Isuppose，justasanhonestmaninpoliticsshinesmorethanhewouldelsewhere。

IhavesincefoundoutthatthereisnothingtheGermanslikesomuchasanopera。Theylikeit，notinamildandmoderateway，butwiththeirwholehearts。

Thisisalegitimateresultofhabitandeducation。

Ournationwillliketheopera，too，byandby，nodoubt。

Oneinfiftyofthosewhoattendouroperaslikesitalready，perhaps，butIthinkagoodmanyoftheotherforty-ninegoinordertolearntolikeit，andtherestinordertobeabletotalkknowinglyaboutit。

Thelatterusuallyhumtheairswhiletheyarebeingsung，sothattheirneighborsmayperceivethattheyhavebeentooperasbefore。Thefuneralsofthesedonotoccuroftenenough。

Agentle，old-maidishpersonandasweetyounggirlofseventeensatrightinfrontofusthatnightattheMannheimopera。Thesepeopletalked，betweentheacts，andIunderstoodthem，thoughIunderstoodnothingthatwasutteredonthedistantstage。Atfirsttheywereguardedintheirtalk，butaftertheyhadheardmyagentandmeconversinginEnglishtheydroppedtheirreserveandIpickedupmanyoftheirlittleconfidences；

no，ImeanmanyofHERlittleconfidences——meaningtheelderparty——fortheyounggirlonlylistened，andgaveassentingnods，butneversaidaword。Howprettyshewas，andhowsweetshewas!Iwishedshewouldspeak。

Butevidentlyshewasabsorbedinherownthoughts，herownyoung-girldreams，andfoundadearerpleasureinsilence。Butshewasnotdreamingsleepydreams——no，shewasawake，alive，alert，shecouldnotsitstillamoment。Shewasanenchantingstudy。Hergownwasofasoftwhitesilkystuffthatclungtoherroundyoungfigurelikeafish"sskin，anditwasrippledoverwiththegracefulestlittlefringyfilmsoflace；

shehaddeep，tendereyes，withlong，curvedlashes；

andshehadpeachycheeks，andadimpledchin，andsuchadearlittlerosebudofamouth；andshewassodovelike，sopure，andsogracious，sosweetandsobewitching。

ForlonghoursIdidmightilywishshewouldspeak。

Andatlastshedid；theredlipsparted，andoutleapsherthought——andwithsuchaguilelessandprettyenthusiasm，too:"Auntie，IjustKNOWI"vegotfivehundredfleasonme!"

Thatwasprobablyovertheaverage。Yes，itmusthavebeenverymuchovertheaverage。TheaverageatthattimeintheGrandDuchyofBadenwasforty-fivetoayoungperson(whenalone)，accordingtotheofficialestimateofthehomesecretaryforthatyear；theaverageforolderpeoplewasshiftyandindeterminable，forwheneverawholesomeyounggirlcameintothepresenceofherelderssheimmediatelyloweredtheiraverageandraisedherown。

Shebecameasortofcontribution-box。Thisdearyoungthinginthetheaterhadbeensittingthereunconsciouslytakingupacollection。Manyaskinnyoldbeinginourneighborhoodwasthehappierandtherestfulerforhercoming。

Inthatlargeaudience，thatnight，therewereeightveryconspicuouspeople。Thesewereladieswhohadtheirhatsorbonnetson。Whatablessedthingitwouldbeifaladycouldmakeherselfconspicuousinourtheatersbywearingherhat。ItisnotusualinEuropetoallowladiesandgentlementotakebonnets，hats，overcoats，canes，orumbrellasintotheauditorium，butinMannheimthisrulewasnotenforcedbecausetheaudienceswerelargelymadeupofpeoplefromadistance，andamongthesewerealwaysafewtimidladieswhowereafraidthatiftheyhadtogointoananteroomtogettheirthingswhentheplaywasover，theywouldmisstheirtrain。Butthegreatmassofthosewhocamefromadistancealwaysrantheriskandtookthechances，preferringthelossofatraintoabreachofgoodmannersandthediscomfortofbeingunpleasantlyconspicuousduringastretchofthreeorfourhours。

[HowWagnerOperasBangAlong]

Threeorfourhours。Thatisalongtimetositinoneplace，whetheronebeconspicuousornot，yetsomeofWagner"soperasbangalongforsixwholehoursonastretch!

Butthepeoplesitthereandenjoyitall，andwishitwouldlastlonger。AGermanladyinMunichtoldmethatapersoncouldnotlikeWagner"smusicatfirst，butmustgothroughthedeliberateprocessoflearningtolikeit——thenhewouldhavehissurereward；

forwhenhehadlearnedtolikeithewouldhungerforitandneverbeabletogetenoughofit。ShesaidthatsixhoursofWagnerwasbynomeanstoomuch。

Shesaidthatthiscomposerhadmadeacompleterevolutioninmusicandwasburyingtheoldmastersonebyone。

AndshesaidthatWagner"soperasdifferedfromallothersinonenotablerespect，andthatwasthattheywerenotmerelyspottedwithmusichereandthere，butwereALLmusic，fromthefirststraintothelast。Thissurprisedme。

IsaidIhadattendedoneofhisinsurrections，andfoundhardlyANYmusicinitexcepttheWeddingChorus。

Shesaid"Lohengrin"wasnoisierthanWagner"sotheroperas，butthatifIwouldkeepongoingtoseeitIwouldfindbyandbythatitwasallmusic，andthereforewouldthenenjoyit。ICOULDhavesaid，"Butwouldyouadviseapersontodeliberatelypracticehavingatoothacheinthepitofhisstomachforacoupleofyearsinorderthathemightthencometoenjoyit?"ButIreservedthatremark。

Thisladywasfullofthepraisesofthehead-tenorwhohadperformedinaWagneroperathenightbefore，andwentontoenlargeuponhisoldandprodigiousfame，andhowmanyhonorshadbeenlavisheduponhimbytheprincelyhousesofGermany。Herewasanothersurprise。

Ihadattendedthatveryopera，inthepersonofmyagent，andhadmadecloseandaccurateobservations。SoI

said:

"Why，madam，MYexperiencewarrantsmeinstatingthatthattenor"svoiceisnotavoiceatall，butonlyashriek——theshriekofahyena。"

"Thatisverytrue，"shesaid；"hecannotsingnow；

itisalreadymanyyearsthathehaslosthisvoice，butinothertimeshesang，yes，divinely!Sowheneverhecomesnow，youshallsee，yes，thatthetheaterwillnotholdthepeople。JAWOHLBEIGOTT!hisvoiceisWUNDERSCHO"Ninthatpasttime。"

IsaidshewasdiscoveringtomeakindlytraitintheGermanswhichwasworthemulating。Isaidthatoverthewaterwewerenotquitesogenerous；thatwithus，whenasingerhadlosthisvoiceandajumperhadlosthislegs，thesepartiesceasedtodraw。IsaidIhadbeentotheoperainHanover，once，andinMannheimonce，andinMunich(throughmyauthorizedagent)once，andthislargeexperiencehadnearlypersuadedmethattheGermansPREFERREDsingerswhocouldn"tsing。Thiswasnotsuchaveryextravagantspeech，either，forthatburlyMannheimtenor"spraiseshadbeenthetalkofallHeidelbergforaweekbeforehisperformancetookplace——yethisvoicewaslikethedistressingnoisewhichanailmakeswhenyouscreechitacrossawindow-pane。IsaidsotoHeidelbergfriendsthenextday，andtheysaid，inthecalmestandsimplestway，thatthatwasverytrue，butthatinearliertimeshisvoiceHADbeenwonderfullyfine。AndthetenorinHanoverwasjustanotherexampleofthissort。

TheEnglish-speakingGermangentlemanwhowentwithmetotheoperatherewasbrimmingwithenthusiasmoverthattenor。

Hesaid:

"ACHGOTT!agreatman!Youshallseehim。HeissocelebrateinallGermany——andhehasapension，yes，fromthegovernment。

Henotobligedtosingnow，onlytwiceeveryyear；

butifhenotsingtwiceeachyeartheytakehimhispensionaway。"

Verywell，wewent。Whentherenownedoldtenorappeared，Igotanudgeandanexcitedwhisper:

"Nowyouseehim!"

Butthe"celebrate"wasanastonishingdisappointmenttome。

IfhehadbeenbehindascreenIshouldhavesupposedtheywereperformingasurgicaloperationonhim。

Ilookedatmyfriend——tomygreatsurpriseheseemedintoxicatedwithpleasure，hiseyesweredancingwitheagerdelight。Whenthecurtainatlastfell，heburstintothestormiestapplause，andkeptitup——asdidthewholehouse——untiltheafflictivetenorhadcomethreetimesbeforethecurtaintomakehisbow。

Whiletheglowingenthusiastwasswabbingtheperspirationfromhisface，Isaid:

"Idon"tmeantheleastharm，butreally，now，doyouthinkhecansing?"

"Him?NO!GOTTIMHIMMEL，ABER，howhehasbeenabletosingtwenty-fiveyearsago?"[Thenpensively。]"ACH，no，NOWhenotsinganymore，heonlycry。Whenhethinkhesing，now，henotsingatall，no，heonlymakelikeacatwhichisunwell。"

WhereandhowdidwegettheideathattheGermansareastolid，phlegmaticrace?Intruth，theyarewidelyremovedfromthat。Theyarewarm-hearted，emotional，impulsive，enthusiastic，theirtearscomeatthemildesttouch，anditisnothardtomovethemtolaughter。Theyaretheverychildrenofimpulse。

Wearecoldandself-contained，comparedtotheGermans。

Theyhugandkissandcryandshoutanddanceandsing；

andwhereweuseoneloving，pettingexpressionstheypouroutascore。Theirlanguageisfullofendearingdiminutives；

nothingthattheyloveescapestheapplicationofapettingdiminutive——neitherthehouse，northedog，northehorse，northegrandmother，noranyothercreature，animateorinanimate。

InthetheatersatHanover，Hamburg，andMannheim，theyhadawisecustom。Themomentthecurtainwentup，thelightinthebodyofthehousewentdown。

Theaudiencesatinthecoolgloomofadeeptwilight，whichgreatlyenhancedtheglowingsplendorsofthestage。

Itsavedgas，too，andpeoplewerenotsweatedtodeath。

WhenIsaw"KingLear"played，nobodywasallowedtoseeasceneshifted；iftherewasnothingtobedonebutslideaforestoutofthewayandexposeatemplebeyond，onedidnotseethatforestsplititselfinthemiddleandgoshriekingaway，withtheaccompanyingdisenchantingspectacleofthehandsandheelsoftheimpellingimpulse——no，thecurtainwasalwaysdroppedforaninstant——oneheardnottheleastmovementbehindit——butwhenitwentup，thenextinstant，theforestwasgone。Evenwhenthestagewasbeingentirelyreset，oneheardnonoise。

Duringthewholetimethat"KingLear"wasplayingthecurtainwasneverdowntwominutesatanyonetime。

Theorchestraplayeduntilthecurtainwasreadytogoupforthefirsttime，thentheydepartedfortheevening。

Wherethestagewaitsnevereachtwominutesthereisnooccasionformusic。Ihadneverseenthistwo-minutebusinessbetweenactsbutoncebefore，andthatwaswhenthe"Shaughraun"wasplayedatWallack"s。

IwasataconcertinMunichonenight，thepeoplewerestreamingin，theclock-handpointedtoseven，themusicstruckup，andinstantlyallmovementinthebodyofthehouseceased——nobodywasstanding，orwalkinguptheaisles，orfumblingwithaseat，thestreamofincomershadsuddenlydriedupatitssource。

Ilistenedundisturbedtoapieceofmusicthatwasfifteenminuteslong——alwaysexpectingsometardyticket-holderstocomecrowdingpastmyknees，andbeingcontinuouslyandpleasantlydisappointed——butwhenthelastnotewasstruck，herecamethestreamagain。Yousee，theyhadmadethoselatecomerswaitinthecomfortablewaiting-parlorfromthetimethemusichadbeginuntilitwasended。

ItwasthefirsttimeIhadeverseenthissortofcriminalsdeniedtheprivilegeofdestroyingthecomfortofahousefulloftheirbetters。Someofthesewereprettyfinebirds，butnomatter，theyhadtotarryoutsideinthelongparlorundertheinspectionofadoublerankofliveriedfootmenandwaiting-maidswhosupportedthetwowallswiththeirbacksandheldthewrapsandtrapsoftheirmastersandmistressesontheirarms。

Wehadnofootmentoholdourthings，anditwasnotpermissibletotakethemintotheconcert-room；butthereweresomemenandwomentotakechargeofthemforus。

Theygaveuschecksforthemandchargedafixedprice，payableinadvance——fivecents。

InGermanytheyalwayshearonethingatanoperawhichhasneveryetbeenheardinAmerica，perhaps——I

meantheclosingstrainofafinesoloorduet。

Wealwayssmashintoitwithanearthquakeofapplause。

Theresultisthatwerobourselvesofthesweetestpartofthetreat；wegetthewhiskey，butwedon"tgetthesugarinthebottomoftheglass。

OurwayofscatteringapplausealongthroughanactseemstometobebetterthantheMannheimwayofsavingitalluptilltheactisended。Idonotseehowanactorcanforgethimselfandportrayhotpassionbeforeacoldstillaudience。Ishouldthinkhewouldfeelfoolish。

Itisapaintometothisday，torememberhowthatoldGermanLearragedandweptandhowledaroundthestage，withneveraresponsefromthathushedhouse，neverasingleoutbursttilltheactwasended。Tometherewassomethingunspeakablyuncomfortableinthesolemndeadsilencesthatalwaysfollowedthisoldperson"stremendousoutpouringsofhisfeelings。Icouldnothelpputtingmyselfinhisplace——IthoughtIknewhowsickandflathefeltduringthosesilences，becauseIrememberedacasewhichcameundermyobservationonce，andwhich——butI

willtelltheincident:

OneeveningonboardaMississippisteamboat，aboyoftenyearslayasleepinaberth——along，slim-leggedboy，hewas，encasedinquiteashortshirt；itwasthefirsttimehehadevermadeatriponasteamboat，andsohewastroubled，andscared，andhadgonetobedwithhisheadfilledwithimpendingsnaggings，andexplosions，andconflagrations，andsuddendeath。Aboutteno"clocksometwentyladiesweresittingaroundabouttheladies"

saloon，quietlyreading，sewing，embroidering，andsoon，andamongthemsatasweet，benignantolddamewithroundspectaclesonhernoseandherbusyknitting-needlesinherhands。Nowallofasudden，intothemidstofthispeacefulsceneburstthatslim-shankedboyinthebriefshirt，wild-eyed，erect-haired，andshouting，"Fire，fire!

JUMPANDRUN，THEBOAT"SAFIREANDTHEREAIN"TAMINUTE

TOLOSE!"Allthoseladieslookedsweetlyupandsmiled，nobodystirred，theoldladypulledherspectaclesdown，lookedoverthem，andsaid，gently:

"Butyoumustn"tcatchcold，child。Runandputonyourbreastpin，andthencomeandtellusallaboutit。"

Itwasacruelchilltogivetoapoorlittledevil"sgushingvehemence。Hewasexpectingtobeasortofhero——thecreatorofawildpanic——andhereeverybodysatandsmiledamockingsmile，andanoldwomanmadefunofhisbugbear。Iturnedandcreptaway——forI

wasthatboy——andneverevencaredtodiscoverwhetherIhaddreamedthefireoractuallyseenit。

IamtoldthatinaGermanconcertoropera，theyhardlyeverencoreasong；thatthoughtheymaybedyingtohearitagain，theirgoodbreedingusuallypreservesthemagainstrequiringtherepetition。

Kingsmayencore；thatisquiteanothermatter；

itdelightseverybodytoseethattheKingispleased；

andastotheactorencored，hisprideandgratificationaresimplyboundless。Still，therearecircumstancesinwhichevenaroyalencore——

Butitisbettertoillustrate。TheKingofBavariaisapoet，andhasapoet"seccentricities——withtheadvantageoverallotherpoetsofbeingabletogratifythem，nomatterwhatformtheymaytake。Heisfondofopera，butnotfondofsittinginthepresenceofanaudience；

therefore，ithassometimesoccurred，inMunich，thatwhenanoperahasbeenconcludedandtheplayersweregettingofftheirpaintandfinery，acommandhascometothemtogettheirpaintandfineryonagain。

PresentlytheKingwouldarrive，solitaryandalone，andtheplayerswouldbeingatthebeginninganddotheentireoperaoveragainwithonlythatoneindividualinthevastsolemntheaterforaudience。Oncehetookanoddfreakintohishead。Highupandoutofsight，overtheprodigiousstageofthecourttheaterisamazeofinterlacingwater-pipes，sopiercedthatincaseoffire，innumerablelittlethread-likestreamsofwatercanbecausedtodescend；andincaseofneed，thisdischargecanbeaugmentedtoapouringflood。

Americanmanagersmightwanttomakeanoteofthat。

TheKingwassoleaudience。Theoperaproceeded，itwasapiecewithastorminit；themimicthunderbegantomutter，themimicwindbegantowailandsough，andthemimicraintopatter。TheKing"sinterestrosehigherandhigher；itdevelopedintoenthusiasm。Hecriedout:

"Itisvery，verygood，indeed!ButIwillhaverealrain!Turnonthewater!"

Themanagerpleadedforareversalofthecommand；saiditwouldruinthecostlysceneryandthesplendidcostumes，buttheKingcried:

"Nomatter，nomatter，Iwillhaverealrain!Turnonthewater!"

Sotherealrainwasturnedonandbegantodescendingossamerlancestothemimicflower-bedsandgravelwalksofthestage。Therichlydressedactressesandactorstrippedaboutsingingbravelyandpretendingnottomindit。

TheKingwasdelighted——hisenthusiasmgrewhigher。

Hecriedout:

"Bravo，bravo!Morethunder!morelightning!turnonmorerain!"