第19章
Suchisafair，thoughloose，descriptionofhercondition。
Theslightfillipgiventoherspiritsbythejourneydidheramorselofgood，butitdiedaway。HavingtonurseAuntMaitlanddidheralittlegoodatfirst。Butshesoonrelapsedintoherself，andbecameso_distraite_thatAuntMaitland，whowasallself，beinganinvalid，begantospeaksharplytoher。
OntheseconddayofhervisittoSomervilleVilla，asshesatbroodingatthefootofheraunt"sbed，suddenlysheheardhorses"feet，andthenaringatthehall-door。Herheartleaped。Perhapshehadcometoexplainall。HemightnotchoosetogotoVizardCourt。Whatifhehadbeenwatchingasanxiouslyasherself，andhadseizedthefirstopportunity!
Inamomentherpalecheekrivaledcarmine。
Thegirlbroughtupacard——
"LORDUXMOOR。"
Thecolordiedawaydirectly。"SayIamverysorry，butatthismomentI
cannotleavemyaunt。"
Thegirlstaredwithamazement，andtookdownthemessage。
Uxmoorrodeaway。
Zoefeltamoment"spleasure。No，ifshecouldnotseetherightman，shewouldnotseethewrong。That，atleast，wasinherpower。
Nevertheless，inthecourseoftheday，rememberingUxmoor"sworth，andthepainshehadalreadygivenhim，shewasalmostsorryshehadindulgedherselfathisexpense。
Superfluouscontrition!Hecamenextday，asamatterofcourse。Shelikedhimnonethebetterforcoming，butshewentdownstairstohim。
Hecametowardher，butstartedbackandutteredanexclamation。"Youarenotwell，"hesaid，intonesoftendernessanddismay。
"Notvery，"shefaltered；forhisopenmanlyconcerntouchedher。
"Andyouhavecomeheretonursethisoldlady?Indeed，MissVizard，youneednursingyourself。YouknowitissometimesinceIhadthepleasureofseeingyou，andthechangeisalarming。MayIsendyouDr。Atkins，mymother"sphysician?"
"Iammuchobligedtoyou。No。"
"Oh，Iforgot。Youhaveaphysicianofyourownsex。Whyisshenotlookingafteryou?"
"MissGaleisbetteremployed。SheisatVizardCourtinattendanceonafarmorebrilliantperson——MademoiselleKlosking，aprofessionalsinger。
Perhapsyouknowher?"
"IsawheratHomburg。"
"Well，shemetwithanaccidentinourhall——aseriousone；andHarringtontookherin，andhasplacedallhisresources——hisladyphysicianandall——atherservice:heissofondof_Music。"_
Acertainsatiricalbitternesspeeredthroughthesewords，buthonestUxmoordidnotnoticeit。Hesaid，"ThenIwishyouwouldletmebeyourdoctor——forwantofabetter。"
"Andyouthink_you_cancureme?"saidZoe，satirically。
"Itdoesseempresumptuous。But，atleast，Icoulddoyoualittlegoodifyoucouldbegottotrymyhumbleprescription。"
"Whatisit?"askedZoe，listlessly。
"ItismymarePhillis。Sheisthedelightofeveryladywhomountsher。
Sheisthorough-bred，lively，swift，gentle，docile，amiable，perfect。
Rideheronthesedownsanhourortwoveryday。I"llsendheroverto-morrow。MayI?"
"Ifyoulike。Rosa_would_packupmyriding-habit。"
"Rosawasaprophetess。"
NextdaycamePhillis，saddled。andledbyagroomonhorseback，andUxmoorsoonfollowedonanoldhunter。HeliftedZoetohersaddle，andawaytheyrode，thegroomfollowingatarespectfuldistance。
Whentheygotonthedownstheyhadadelightfulcanter；butZoe，inherfeveredstateofmind，wasnotcontentwiththat。Shekeptincreasingthepace，tilltheoldhuntercouldnolongerlivewiththeyoungfilly；andshegallopedawayfromLordUxmoor，andmadehimridiculousintheeyesofhisgroom。
Thetruthis，shewantedtogetawayfromhim。
Hedrewtherein，andstoodstock-still。Shemadeacircuitofamile，andcameuptohimwithheightenedcolorandflashingeyes，lookingbeautiful。
"Well?"saidshe。"Don"tyoulikegalloping?"
"Yes，butIdon"tlikecruelty。"
"Cruelty?"
"Lookatthemare"stailhowitisquivering，andherflankspanting!Andnowonder。YouhavebeenovertwicetheDerbycourseataracingpace。
MissVizard，ahorseisnotasteamengine。"
"I"llneverrideheragain，"saidZoe。"Ididnotcomeheretobescolded。Iwillgohome。"
Theywalkedslowlyhomeinsilence。Uxmoorhardlyknewwhattosaytoher；butatlasthemurmured，apologetically，"Nevermindthepoormare，ifyouarebetterforgallopingher。"
Shewaitedamomentbeforeshespoke，andthenshesaid，"Well，yes；Iambetter。I"mbetterformyride，andbetterformyscolding。Good-by。"
(Meaningforever。)
"Good-by，"saidhe，inthesametone。Onlyhesentthemarenextday，andfollowedheronayoungthorough-bred。
"What!"saidZoe；"amItohaveanothertrial?"
"Andanotherafterthat。"
Sothistimeshewouldonlycanterveryslowly，andkeptstoppingeverynowandthentoinquire，satirically，ifthatwoulddistressthemare。
ButUxmoorwastoogood-humoredtoquarrelfornothing。Heonlylaughed，andsaid，"Youarenottheonlyladywhotakesahorseforamachine。"
Theseridesdidherbodilyhealthsomepermanentgood；buttheireffectonhermindwasfleeting。Shewasinfairspiritswhenshewasactuallyboundingthroughtheair，butshecollapsedafterward。
Atfirst，whensheusedtothinkthatSevernenevercamenearher，andUxmoorwassoconstant，shealmosthatedUxmoor——solittledoesthewrongmanprofitbydoingtherightthingforawoman。Iadmitthat，thoughnotadeadlywoman-hatermyself。
Butby-and-byshewasimpartiallybitteragainstthemboth；thewrongmanfordoingtherightthing，andtherightmanfornotdoingit。
Asthedaysrolledby，andSevernedidnotappear，herindignationandwoundedpridebegantomountaboveherlove。Abeautifulwomancountsuponpursuit，andthinksamanlessthanmanifhedoesnotloveherwellenoughtofindher，thoughhidinthecavesofoceanorthelabyrinthsofBermondsey。
Shesaidtoherself，"Thenhehasnoexplanationtooffer。Anotherwomanhasfrightenedhimawayfromme。Ihavewastedmyaffectionsonacoward。"Herbosomboiledwithlove，andcontempt，andwoundedpride；andhermindwastossedtoandfrolikealeafinastorm。Shebegan，byforceofwill，togiveUxmoorsomeencouragement；only，afteritshewrithedandwept。
Atlast，findingherselfdriventoandfrolikealeaf，shetoldMissMaitlandall，andsoughtcounselofher。Shemusthavesomethingtoleanon。
Theoldladywasbetterbythistime，andspokekindlytoher。ShesaidMr。Severnewascharming，andshewasnotboundtogivehimupbecauseanotherladyhadpastclaimsonhim。ButitappearedtoherthatMr。
Severnehimselfhaddesertedher。Hehadnotwrittentoher。Probablyheknewsomethingthathadnotyettranspired，andhadsteeledhimselftotheseparationforgoodreasons。Itwasadecisionshemustaccept。Letherthenconsiderhowforlornistheconditionofmostdesertedwomencomparedwithhers。Herewasadevotedlover，whomsheesteemed，andwhocouldofferherahighpositionandanhonestlove。Ifshehadamother，thatmotherwouldalmostforcehertoengageherselfatoncetoLordUxmoor。Havingnomother，thebestthingshecoulddowouldbetoforceherself——tosaysomeirrevocablewords，andneverlookback。Itwasthelotofhersexnottomarrythefirstlove，andtobeallthehappierintheendforthatdisappointment，thoughatthetimeitalwaysseemedeternal。
Allthis，spokeninavoiceofsingularkindnessbyonewhousedtobesosharp，madeZoe"stearsflowgentlyandsomewhatcooledherragingheart。
Shebegannowtosubmit，andonlycryatintervals，andletherselfdrift；andUxmoorvisitedhereveryday，andshefounditimpossiblenottoesteemandregardhim。Nevertheless，oneafternoon，justabouthistime，shewasseizedwithsuchanaversiontohiscourtship，andsucharevoltagainsttheslopesheseemedglidingdown，thatsheflungonherbonnetandshawl，anddartedoutofthehousetoescapehim。Shesaidtotheservant，"Iamgoneforawalk，ifanybodycalls。"
Uxmoordidcall，and，receivingthismessage，hebithislip，sentthehorsehomeandwalkeduptothewindmill，onthechanceofseeingheranywhere。Hehadalreadyobservedshewasneverlonginonemood；andashewasalwaysinthesamemind，hethoughtperhapshemightbetolerablywelcome，ifhecouldmeetherunexpected。
MeantimeZoewalkedveryfasttogetawayfromthehouseassoonaspossible，andshemadearoundofnearlyfivemiles，walkingthroughtwovillages，andonherreturnlostherway。However，ashepherdshowedherabridle-roadwhich，hetoldher，wouldsoontakehertoSomervilleVilla，through"thesmallpastures；"and，accordingly，shecameintoasuccessionofmeadowsnotverylarge。Theywereallfencedandgated；butthegateswereonlyshut，notlocked。Thiswasfortunate；fortheywerenewfive-barredgates，andaladydoesnotlikegettingoverthese，eveninsolitude。Herclothesarenotadapted。
Thereweresheepinsomeofthese，cowsinothers，andthepastureswonderfullygreenandrich，beingalwayswellmanured，andfeddownbycattle。
Zoe"sloveofcolorwassoothedbytheseemeraldfields，dottedwithwhitesheepandredcows。
Inthelastfield，beforethelanethatledtothevillage，asinglebeastwasgrazing。Zoetooknonoticeofhim，andwalkedon；buthetookwonderfulnoticeofher，andstared，thengaveadisagreeablesnort。HetookoffenseatherIndianshawl，and，afterpawingthegroundanderectinghistail，hecamestraightatheratatearingtrot，andhistailoutbehindhim。
Zoesaw，andscreamedviolently，andranforthegateahead，which，ofcourse，wasafewyardsfurtherfromherthanthegatebehind。Sheranforherlife；butthebull，whenhesawthat，brokeintoagallopdirectly，andcameupfastwithher。Shecouldnotescape。
Atthatmomentamanvaultedcleanoverthegate，toreapitchforkoutofaheapofdungthatluckilystoodinthecorner，andboldlyconfrontedtheragingbulljustintime；foratthatmomentZoelostheart，andcrouched，screaming，inthesideditch，withherhandsbeforehereyes。
Thenew-comer，rashashisconductseemed，wascountry-bredandknewwhathewasabout:hedroveoneoftheprongscleanthroughthegreatcartilageofthebull"smouth，andwasknockeddownlikeanine-pin，withthebrokenstaffofthepitch-forkinhishand；andthebullrearedintheairwithagony，thepronghavinggonecleanthroughhisupperlipintwoplaces，andfasteneditself，asonefastensapin，inthatleatherybutsensitiveorgan。
NowUxmoorwasauniversityathlete；hewasnosoonerdownthanup。So，whenthebullcamedownfromhisrearing，andturnedtomassacrehisassailant，hewasbehindhim，andseizinghistail，twistedit，anddeliveredathunderingblowonhisbackbone，andfolloweditupbyashowerofthemonhisribs。"Runtothegate，Zoe!"heroared。Whack!
whack!whack!——"Runtothegate，Itellyou!"——whack!——whack!——whack!——whack!——whack!
Thusordered，ZoeVizard，whowouldnothavemovedofherself，beinginacollapseoffear，scuddedtothegate，gotontherightsideofit，andlookedover，withtwoeyeslikesaucers。Shesawasightincredibletoher。Insteadoflettingthebullalone，nowshewassafe，Uxmoorwasstickingtohimlikeaferret。Thebullran，tossinghisnosewithpainandbellowing:Uxmoordraggedbythetailandcompelledtofollowinpreposterous，giantstrides，barelytouchingthegroundwiththepointofhistoe，poundedthecreature"sribswithsuchblowsasZoehadneverdreamedpossible。Theysoundedlikeflailonwoodenfloor，andeachblowwasaccompaniedwithaloudjubilantshout。Presently，beingafive"splayer，andambidexter，heshiftedhishand，andthetremendouswhacksresoundedonthebull"sleftside。Thebull，thusbelabored，andresoundinglikethebigdrum，madeacircuitofthefield，butfounditalltoohot:heknewhiswaytoacertainquietfarmyard；hebolted，andcamebangatZoeoncemore，withfuriouseyesandgore-distillingnostrils。
Butthistimeshewasontherightsideofthegate。
Yetshedrewbackindismayasthebulldrewnear:andshewasright；
for，inhisagonyandamazement，theunwieldybutsinewybruteleapedthefive-barredgate，andcleareditallbutthetoprail；thatheburstthrough，asifithadbeenpaper，anddraggedUxmoorafterhim，andpulledhimdown，andtorehimsomeyardsalongthehardroadonhisback，andbumpedhisheadagainstastone，andsogotridofhim:thenpoundedawaydownthelane，snorting，andbellowing，andbleeding；theprongstillstuckthroughhisnostrilslikeapin。
ZoerantoUxmoorwithlooksofalarmandtenderconcern，andliftedhisheadtohertenderbosom；forhisclothesweretorn，andhischeeksandhandsbleeding。Buthesoonshookoffhisconfusion，androsewithoutassistance。
"Haveyougotoveryourfright?"saidhe；"thatisthequestion。"
"Ohyes!yes!ItisonlyyouIamalarmedfor。ItismuchbetterIshouldbekilledthanyou。"
"Killed!Ineverhadbetterfuninmylife。Itwasglorious。Istucktohim，andhit——there，IhavenothadanythingIcouldhitashardasI
wantedto，sinceIusedtofightwithmycousinJackatEton。Oh，MissVizard，itwasawhirlofElysium!ButIamsorryyouwerefrightened。
Letmetakeyouhome。"
"Oh，yes，butnotthatway；thatisthewaythemonsterwent!"quiveredZoe。
"Oh，hehashadenoughofus。"
"ButIhavehadtoomuchofhim。Takemesomeotherroad——ahundredmilesround。HowItremble!"
"Soyoudo。Takemyarm——No，puttingthetipsofyourfingersonitisnouse；takeitreally——youwantsupport。Becourageous，now——weareverynearhome。"
Zoetrembled，andcriedalittle，toconcludetheincident，butwalkedbravelyhomeonUxmoor"sarm。
InthehallatSomervilleVillashesawhimchangecolor，andinsistedonhistakingsomeportwine。
"Ishallbeveryglad，"saidhe。
Adecanterwasbrought。Hefilledalargetumbleranddrankitofflikewater。
ThiswasthefirstintimationhegaveZoethathewasinpain，andhisnerveshardtried；nordidsheindeedarriveatthatconclusionuntilhehadlefther。
Ofcourse，shecarriedallthistoAuntMaitland。Thatladywasquitemovedbytheadventure。Shesatupinbed，andlistenedwithexcitementandadmiration。ShedescantedonLordUxmoor"scourageandchivalry，andcongratulatedZoethatsuchapearlofmanhoodhadfallenatherfeet。
"Why，child，"saidshe，"surely，afterthis，youwillnothesitatebetweenthisgentlemanandabeggarlyadventurer，whohasnothing，noteventhecourageofaman。Turnyourbackonallsuchrubbish，andbethequeenofthecounty。I"dbecontenttodieto-morrowifIcouldseeyouCountessofUxmoor。"
"Youshalllive，andseeit，dearaunt，"saidZoe，kissingher。
"Well，"saidMissMaitland，"ifanythingcancureme，thatwill。Andreally，"saidshe，"Ifeelbettereversincethatbravefellowbegantobringyoutoyoursenses。"
Admirationandgratitudebeingnowaddedtoesteem，ZoereceivedLordUxmoornextdaywithacertaintimidityandhalftendernessshehadnevershownbefore；and，ashewasbynaturearapidwooer，hesawhischance，andstayedmuchlongerthanusual，andatlasthazardedahopethathemightbeallowedtotryandwinherheart。
Thereuponshebegantofence，andsaythatlovewasallfolly。Hehadheresteemandhergratitude，anditwouldbebetterforbothofthemtoconfinetheirsentimentswithinthoserationalbounds。
"ThatIcannotdo，"saidUxmoor；"soImustaskyourleavetobeambitious。Letmetryandconqueryouraffection。"
"Asyouconqueredthebull?"
"Yes；onlynotsorudely，norsoquickly，I"llbebound。"
"Well，Idon"tknowwhyIshouldobject。Iesteemyoumorethananybodyintheworld。Youaremybeauidealofaman。Ifyoucan_make_meloveyou，allthebetterforme。Only，Iamafraidyoucannot。"
"MayItry?"
"Yes，"saidZoe，bushingcarnation。
"MayIcomeeveryday?"
"Twiceaday，ifyoulike。"
"IthinkIshallsucceed——intime。"
"Ihopeyoumay。"
Thenhekissedherhanddevotedly——thefirsttimeinhislife——andwentawayonwings。
ZoeflewuptoherauntMaitland，flushedandagitated。"Aunt，Iamasgoodasengagedtohim。Ihavesaidsuchunguardedthings。I"msure_he_
willunderstanditthatIconsenttoreceivehisaddressesasmylover。
NotthatIreallysaidso。"
"Ihope，"saidAuntMaitland，"thatyouhavecommittedyourselfsomehoworother，andcannotgoback。"
"IthinkIhave。Yes；itisallover。Icannotgobacknow。"
Thensheburstoutcrying。Thenshewasnearchoking，andhadtosmellheraunt"ssalts，whilestillthetearsranfast。
MissMaitlandreceivedthiswithperfectcomposure。Shelookedonthemasthelasttearsofregretgiventoafoolishattachmentatthemomentofcondemningitforever。Shewasold，andhadseenthesefinaltearsshedbymorethanonelovingwomanjustbeforeenteringonherdayofsunshine。
AndnowZoemustbealone，andventherswellingheart。Shetiedahandkerchiefroundherheadanddartedintothegarden。Shewentroundandrounditwithfleetfootandbeatingpulses。
Thesunbegantodecline，andacoldwindtowarnherin。Shecame，forthelasttime，toacertainturnofthegravelwalk，wheretherewasalittleirongateleadingintothewoodedwalkfromthemeadows。
Atthatgateshefoundaman。Shestartedback，andleanedagainstthenearesttree，withherhandsbehindher。
ItwasEdwardSeverne——allinblack，andpaleasdeath；butnotpalerthanherownfaceturnedinamoment。
Indeed，theylookedateachotherliketwoghosts。
CHAPTERXXIV。
ZOEwasthefirsttospeak，orrathertogasp。"Whydoyoucomehere?"
"Because_you_arehere。"
"AndhowdareyoucomewhereIam?——nowyourfalsehoodisfoundoutandflungintomyveryface!"
"Ihaveneverbeenfalsetoyou。AtthismomentIsufferformyfidelity。"
_"You_suffer?Iamgladofit。How?"
"Inmanyways:buttheyarealllight，comparedwithmyfearoflosingyourlove。"
"Iwilllistentonoidlewords，"saidZoesternly。"Aladyclaimedyoubeforemyface；whydidyounotstandfirmlikeaman，andsay，"Youhavenoclaimonmenow；Ihavearighttoloveanother，andIdo?"Whydidyoufly?——becauseyouwereguilty。"
"No，"saidhe，doggedly。"Surprisedandconfounded，butnotguilty。Fool!
idiot!thatIwas。Ilostmyheadentirely。Yes，itishopeless。You_must_despiseme。Youhavearighttodespiseme。"
"Don"ttellme，"saidZoe:"youneverloseyourhead。Youarealwaysself-possessedandartful。WouldtoHeavenIhadneverseenyou!"Shewasviolent。
Hegavehertime。"Zoe，"saidhe，afterawhile，"ifIhadnotlostmyhead，shouldIhaveill-treatedaladyandnearlykilledher?"
"Ah!"saidZoe，sharply，"thatiswhatyouhavebeensufferingfrom——remorse。Andwellyoumay。Yououghttogobacktoher，andaskherpardononyourknees。Indeed，itisallyouhavelefttodonow。"
"IknowIought。"
"Thendowhatyouought。Good-by。"
"Icannot。Ihateher。"
"What，becauseyouhavebrokenherheart，andnearlykilledher?"
"No；butbecauseshehascomebetweenmeandtheonlywomanIeverreallyloved，orevercan。"
"Shewouldnothavedonethatifyouhadnotgivenhertheright。Iseehernow；shelookedjustice，andyoulookedguilt。Wordsareidle，whenI
canseeherfacebeforemestill。Nowomancouldlooklikethatwhowasinthewrong。Butyou——guiltmadeyouacoward:youwerefalsetoherandfalsetome；andsoyouranawayfromusboth。Youwouldhavetalkedeitherofusover，alone；butweweretogether:soyouranaway。Youhavefoundmealonenow，soyouarebraveagain；butitistoolate。Iamundeceived。IdeclinetorobMademoiselleKloskingofherlover；sogood-by。"
Andthistimeshewasreallygoing，buthestoppedher。"Atleastdon"tgowithafalsehoodonyourlips，"saidhe，coldly。
"Afalsehood!——Me!"
"Yes，itisafalsehood。HowcanyoupretendIleftthatladyforyou，whenyouknowmyconnectionwithherhadentirelyceasedtenmonthsbeforeIeversawyourface?"
ThisstaggeredZoeamoment；sodidtheheatandsenseofinjusticehethrewintohisvoice。
"Iforgotthat，"saidshe，naively。Then，recoveringherself，"Youmayhavepartedwithher；butitdoesnotfollowthatsheconsented。Ficklemendesertconstantwomen。Itisdoneeveryday。"
"Youaremistakenagain，"saidhe。"WhenIfirstsawyou，IhadceasedtothinkofMademoiselleKlosking；butitwasnotsowhenIfirstlefther。
Ididnotdeserther。Itoremyselffromher。Ihadagreataffectionforher。"
"Youdaretotellmethat。Well，atallevents，itisthetruth。Whydidyouleaveher，then?"
"Outofself-respect。Iwaspoor，shewasrichandadmired。Mensentherbouquetsandbracelets，andflatteredherbehindthescenes，andIwasloweredinmyowneyes:soIlefther。Iwasunhappyforatime；butI
hadmypridetosupportme，andthewoundwashealedlongbeforeIknewwhatitwastolove，reallytolove。"
TherewasnothingherethatZoecouldcontradict。Shekeptsilence，andwasmystified。
Thensheattackedhimonanotherquarter。"Haveyouwrittentohersinceyoubehavedlikearuffiantoher?"
"No。AndIneverwill，comewhatmay。Itiswickedofme；butIhateher。
Iamcompelledtoesteemher。ButIhateher。"
Zoecouldquiteunderstandthat；butinspiteofthatshesaid，"Ofcourseyoudo。Menalwayshatethosetheyhaveusedill。Whydidyounotwriteto_me?_Hadamindtobeimpartial，Isuppose?"
"Ihadreasontobelieveitwouldhavebeenintercepted。"
"Forshame!Vizardisincapableofsuchathing。"
"Ah，youdon"tknowhowheischanged。Helooksonmeasamaddog。
Consider，Zoe:do，pray，taketherealkeytoitall。HeisinlovewithMademoiselleKlosking，madlyinlovewithher:andIhavebeensounfortunateastoinjureher——nearlytokillher。Idaresayhethinksitisonyouraccounthehatesme；butmendeceivethemselves。Itisfor_her_hehatesme"
"Oh!"
"Ay。Thinkforamoment，andyouwillseeitis。_You_arenotinhisconfidence。Iamsurehehasnevertold_you_thatheorderedhiskeeperstoshootmedownifIcameaboutthehouseatnight。"
"Ohno，no!"criedZoe。
"Doyouknowhehasraisedthecountryagainstme，andhaswarrantsoutagainstmeforforgery，becauseIwastakeninbyaroguewhogavemebillswithshamnamesonthem，andIgotVizardtocashthem?AssoonaswefoundouthowIhadbeentricked，myuncleandIofferedatoncetopayhimbackhismoney。Butno!hepreferstokeepthebillsasaweapon。"
Zoebegantobepuzzledalittle。Butshesaid，"Youhavebeenalongtimediscoveringallthesegrievances。Whyhaveyouheldnocommunicationallthistime?"
"Becauseyouwereinaccessible。DoesnotyourownhearttellyouthatI
havebeenalltheseweekstryingtocommunicate，andunable?Why，Icamethreetimesunderyourwindowatnight，andyounever，neverwouldlookout。"
"Ididlookouteversooften。"
"IfIhadbeenyou，Ishouldhavelookedtenthousandtimes。IonlyleftoffcomingwhenIheardthekeeperswereorderedtoshootmedown。NotthatIshouldhavecaredmuch，forIamdesperate。ButIhadjustsenseenoughlefttoseethat，ifmydeadbodyhadbeenbroughtbleedingintoyourhallsomenight，noneofyouwouldeverhavebeenhappyagain。Youreyeswouldhavebeenopened，allofyou。Well，Zoe，youleftVizardCourt；thatIlearned:butitwasonlythismorningIcouldfindoutwhereyouweregone:andyouseeIamhere——withapriceuponmyhead。
PleasereadVizard"sadvertisements。"
Shetookthemandreadthem。Ahotflushmountedtohercheek。
"Yousee，"saidhe，"IamtobeimprisonedifIsetmyfootinBarfordshire。Well，itwillbefalseimprisonment，andMademoiselleKlosking"sloverwillsmartforit。Atallevents，Ishalltakenoordersbutfromyou。Youhavebeendeceivedbyappearances。IshalldoallIcantoundeceiveyou，andifIcannot，therewillbenoneedtoimprisonmeforadeceitofwhichIwasthevictim，nortoshootmelikeadogforloving_you。_Iwilltakemybrokenheartquietlyaway，andleaveBarfordshire，andEngland，andtheworld，foraughtIcare。"
Thenhecried:andthatmadehercrydirectly。
"Ah!"shesighed，"weareunfortunate。Appearancesaresodeceitful。I
seeIhavejudgedtoohastily，andlistenedtoolittletomyownheart，thatalwaysmadeexcuses。Butitistoolatenow。"
"Whytoolate?"
"Itis。"
"Butwhy?"
"Italllookedsougly，andyouweresilent。Weareunfortunate。Mybrotherwouldneverletusmarry；and，besides——Oh，whydidyounotcomebefore?"
"Imightaswellsay，Whydidyounotlookoutofyourwindow?Youcouldhavedoneitwithoutriskingyourlife，asIdid。Orwhydidyounotadvertise。Youmighthaveinvitedanexplanationfrom"E。S。，"undercovertoso-and-so。"
"Ladiesneverthinkofsuchthings。Youknowthatverywell。"
"Oh，Idon"tcomplain；butIdosaythatthosewholoveshouldnotbereadytoreproach；theyshouldputagenerousconstruction。Youmighthaveknown，andyououghttohaveknown，thatIwasstrugglingtofindyou，andtornwithanguishatmyimpotence。"
"No，no。Iamsoyoungandinexperienced，andallmyfriendsagainstyou。
Itistheywhohavepartedus。"
"Howcantheypartus，ifyoulovemestillasIloveyou?"
"BecauseforthelastfortnightIhavenotlovedyou，buthatedyou，anddoubtedyou，andthoughtmyonlychanceofhappinesswastoimitateyourindifference:andwhileIwasthinkingso，anotherpersonhascomeforward；onewhomIhavealwaysesteemed:andnow，inmypityanddespair，Ihavegivenhimhopes。"Shehidherburningfaceinherhands。
"Isee；youarefalsetome，andthereforeyouhavesuspectedmeofbeingfalsetoyou。"
Atthatsheraisedherheadhighdirectly。"Edward，youareunjust。Lookinmyface，andyoumayseewhatIhavesufferedbeforeIcouldbringmyselftocondemnyou。"
"What!yourpaleness，thatdarkrimunderyourlovelyeyes——amIthecause?"
"Indeedyouare。ButIforgiveyou。Youaresadlypaleandworntoo。Oh，howunfortunateweare!"
"Donotcry，dearest，"saidhe。"Donotdespair。Becalm，andletmeknowtheworst。Iwillnotreproachyou，thoughyouhavereproachedme。Iloveyouasnowomancanlove。Come，tellme。"
"Thenthetruthis，LordUxmoorhasrenewedhisattentiontome。"
"Ah!"
"Hehasbeenhereeveryday。"
Severnegroaned。
"AuntMaitlandwasonhisside，andspokesokindlytome，andhesavedmylifefromafuriousbull。Heisbrave，noble，good，andhelovesme。I
havecommittedmyself。Icannotdrawbackwithhonor。"
"Butfrommeyoucan，becauseIampoorandhated，andhavenotitle。Ifyouarecommittedtohim，youareengagedtome。"
"Iam；sonowIcangoneitherway。IfIhadpoison，Iwouldtakeitthismoment，andendall。"
"ForGod"ssake，don"ttalkso。Iamsureyouexaggerate。Youcannot，inthosefewdays，havepledgedyourfaithtoanother。Letmeseeyourfinger。Ah!there"smyringonitstill:blessyou，myowndarlingZoe——blessyou；"andhecoveredherhandwithkisses，andbedeweditwithhisever-readytears。
Thegirlbegantomelt，andallpowertooozeoutofher，mindandbody。
Shesigheddeeplyandsaid，"WhatcanIdo——Idon"tsaywithhonorandcredit，butwithdecency。What_can_Ido?"
"Tellme，first，whatyouhavesaidtohimthatyouconsidersocompromising。"
Zoe，withmanysighs，replied:"Ibelieve——Isaid——Iwasunhappy。AndsoIwas。AndIowned——thatIadmired——andesteemedhim。AndsoIdo。Andthenofcoursehewantedmore，andIcouldnotgivemore；andheaskedmighthetryandmakemelovehim；and——Isaid——IamafraidIsaid——hemight，ifhecould。"
"Andaveryproperanswer，too。"
"Ah!butIsaidhemightcomeeveryday。Itisidletodeceiveourselves:
Ihaveencouragedhisaddresses。Icandonothingnowwithcreditbutdie，orgointoaconvent。"
"Whendidyousaythis?"
"Thisveryday。"
"Thenhehasneveractedonit。"
"No，buthewill。Hewillbeheretomorrowforcertain。"
"Thenyourcourseisplain。Youmustchooseto-nightbetweenhimandme。
Youmustdismisshimbyletter，ormeuponthisspot。Ihavenotmuchfortunetoofferyou，andnocoronet；butIloveyou，andyouhaveseenmerejectalovelyandaccomplishedwoman，whomIesteemasmuchasyoudothislord。Rejecthim?Why，youhaveseenmeflingherawayfrommelikeadogsoonerthanleaveyouinamoment"sdoubtofmylove:ifyoucannotwriteacivilnotedeclininganearlforme，yourloveinnotworthyofmine，andIwillbegonewithmylove。IwillnottakeittoMademoiselleKlosking，thoughIesteemherasyoudothislord；but，atallevents，Iwilltakeitawayfromyou，andleaveyoumycurseinstead，forafalse，ficklegirlthatcouldnotwaitonelittlemonth，butmustfall，withherengagedringonherfinger，intoanotherman"sarms。Oh，Zoe!Zoe!whocouldhavebelievedthisofyou?"
"Don"treproach_me。_Iwon"tbearit，"shecried，wildly。
"Ihopenottohavetoreproachyou，"saidhe，firmly；"Icannotconceiveyourhesitating。"
"Iamwornout。Lovehasbeentoogreatatorment。Oh，ifIcouldfindpeace!"
Againhertearsflowed。
Heputonasympathizingair。"Youshallhavepeace。Dismiss_him_asI
tellyou，andhewilltroubleyounomore；shakehandswithme，andsayyouprefer_him，_andIwilltroubleyounomore。Butwithtwolovers，peaceisoutofthequestion，andsoisself-respect。IknowIcouldnotvacillatebetweenyouandMademoiselleKloskingoranyotherwoman。"
"Ah，Edward，ifIdothis，yououghttolovemeverydearly。"
"Ishall。Betterthanever——ifpossible。"
"Andnevermakemejealousagain。"
"Inevershall，dearest。Ourtroublesareover。"
"Edward，Ihavebeenveryunhappy。Icouldnotbearthesedoubtsagain。"
"Youshallneverbeunhappyagain。"
"Imustdowhatyourequire，Isuppose。Thatishowitalwaysends。Ohdear!ohdear!"
"Zoe，itmustbedone。Youknowitmust。"
"IwarnyouIshalldoitaskindlyasIcan。"
"Ofcourseyouwill。Yououghtto。"
"Imustgoinnow。Ifeelverycold。"
"Howsoonto-morrowwillyoumeetmehere?"
"Whenyouplease，"saidshe，languidly。
"Atteno"clock?"
"Yes。"
Thentherewasatenderparting，andZoewentslowlyin。Shewenttoherownroom，justtothinkitalloveralone。Shecaughtsightofherfaceintheglass。Hercheekshadregainedcolor，andhereyeswerebrightasstars。Shestoppedandlookedatherself。"Therenow，"saidshe，"andI
seemtomyselftoliveagain。IwasmadtothinkIcouldeverloveanymanbuthim。Heismydarling，myidol。"