第12章

ThestoryofHuckFinnwashavingawidesuccess。Websterhandleditskillfully，andthesaleswerelarge。Inalmosteveryquarteritswelcomewasenthusiastic。Hereandthere，however，couldbefoundanexception；Huck”smoralswerenotalwaysapprovedofbylibraryreading-committees。ThefirstinstanceofthiskindwasreportedfromConcord；andwouldseemnottohavedepressedtheauthor-publisher。

ToChas。L。Webster，inNewYork：

Mch18，”85。

DEARCHARLEY，——TheCommitteeofthePublicLibraryofConcord，Mass，havegivenusarattlingtip-toppuffwhichwillgointoeverypaperinthecountry。TheyhaveexpelledHuckfromtheirlibraryas“trashandsuitableonlyfortheslums。”Thatwillsell25，000copiesforussure。

S。L。C。

PerhapstheConcordFreeTradeClubhadsomeideaofmakingamendstoMarkTwainfortheslightputuponhisbookbytheirlibrarians，forimmediatelyaftertheHuckFinnincidenttheynotifiedhimofhiselectiontohonorarymembership。

Thosewerethedaysof“authors”readings，“andClemensandHowellsnotinfrequentlyassistedatthesefunctions，usuallygivenasbenefitsofonekindoranother。Fromthenextletter，writtenfollowinganentertainmentgivenfortheLongfellowmemorial，wegatherthatMarkTwain”sopinionofHowells”sreadingwassteadilyimproving。

ToW。D。Howells，inBoston：

HARTFORD，May5，”85。

MYDEARHOWELLS，……Whotaughtyoutoread？Observationandthought，Iguess。AndpracticeattheTavernClub？——yes；andthatwasthebestteachingofall：

Well，yousentevenyourdaintiestandmostdelicateandfleetingpointshometothataudience——absoluteproofofgoodreading。Butyoucouldn”treadworthadamnafewyearsago。Idonotsaythistoflatter。ItistrueIlookedaroundforyouwhenIwasleaving，butyouhadalreadygone。

Alas，Osgoodhasfailedatlast。Itwaseasytoseethathewasontheveryvergeofitayearago，anditwasalsoeasytoseethathewasstillonthevergeofitamonthortwoago；butIcontinuedtohope——butnotexpectthathewouldpullthrough。TheLibraryofHumorisathisdwellinghouse，andhewillhandittoyouwheneveryouwantit。

Tosaveitfromanypossibilityofgettingmixedupinthefailure，perhapsyouhadbettersenddownandgetit。Itoldhim，theotherday，thatanorderofanykindfromyouwouldbehissufficientwarrantforitsdeliverytoyou。

IntwodaysGeneralGranthasdictated50pagesoffoolscap，andthustheWildernessandAppomattoxstandforalltimeinhisownwords。Thismakesthesecondvolumeofhisbookasvaluableasthefirst。

Helooksmightywell，theselatterdays。

YrsEverMARK。

“Iamexceedinglyglad，“wroteHowells，“thatyouapproveofmyreading，foritgivesmesomehopethatImaydosomethingontheplatformnextwinter……butIwouldneverreadwithinahundredmilesofyou，ifIcouldhelpit。Yousimplystraddleddowntothefootlightsandtookthathouseupinthehollowofyourhandandtickledit。”

ToW。D。Howells，inBoston：

ELMIRA，July21，1885。

MYDEARHOWELLS，——Youarereallymyonlyauthor；Iamrestrictedtoyou，Iwouldn”tgiveadamnfortherest。

IboredthroughMiddlemarchduringthepastweek，withitslaboredandtediousanalysesoffeelingsandmotives，itspaltryandtiresomepeople，itsunexcitinganduninterestingstory，anditsfrequentblindingflashesofsingle-sentencepoetry，philosophy，wit，andwhatnot，andnearlydiedfromtheoverwork。Iwouldn”treadanotherofthosebooksforafarm。

Ididtrytoreadoneother——DanielDeronda。Idraggedthroughthreechapters，losingfleshallthetime，andthenwashonestenoughtoquit，andconfesstomyselfthatIhaven”tanyromanceliteratureappetite，asfarasIcansee，exceptforyourbooks。

ButwhatIstartedtosay，was，thatIhavejustreadPartIIofIndianSummer，andtomymindthereisn”tawastelineinit，oronethatcouldbeimproved。Ireadityesterday，endingwiththatopinion；andreaditagainto-day，endingwiththesameopinionemphasized。Ihaven”treadPartIyet，becausethatnumbermusthavereachedHartfordafterweleft；

butwearegoingtosenddowntownforacopy，andwhenitcomesIamtoreadbothpartsaloudtothefamily。Itisabeautifulstory，andmakesabodylaughallthetime，andcryinside，andfeelsooldandsoforlorn；andgiveshimgraciousglimpsesofhislostyouththatfillhimwithameasurelessregret，andbuildupinhimacloudysenseofhishavingbeenaprince，once，insomeenchantedfar-offland，andofbeinganexilenow，anddesolate——andLord，nochanceevertogetbackthereagain！Thatisthethingthathurts。Well，youhavedoneitwithmarvelousfacilityandyoumakeallthemotivesandfeelingsperfectlyclearwithoutanalyzingthegutsoutofthem，thewayGeorgeEliotdoes。

Ican”tstandGeorgeEliotandHawthorneandthosepeople；Iseewhattheyareatahundredyearsbeforetheygettoitandtheyjusttiremetodeath。Andasfor“TheBostonians，“IwouldratherbedamnedtoJohnBunyan”sheaventhanreadthat。

YrsEverMARK

ItisaseasytounderstandMarkTwain”senjoymentofIndianSummerashisrevoltagainstDanielDerondaandTheBostonians。Hecaredlittleforwritingthatdidnotconveyitspurposeinthesimplestandmostdirectterms。ItisinterestingtonotethatinthankingClemensforhiscomplimentHowellswrote：“WhatpeoplecannotseeisthatIanalyzeaslittleaspossible；theygoontalkingabouttheanalyticalschool，whichIamsupposedtobelongto，andIwanttothankyouforusingyoureyes……DidyoueverreadDeFoe”s”Roxana”？Ifnot，thenreadit，notmerelyforsomeofthedeepestinsightsintothelying，suffering，sinning，well-meaninghumansoul，butforthebestandmostnaturalEnglishthatabookwaseverwrittenin。”

GeneralGrantworkedsteadilyonhisbook，dictatingwhenhecould，makingbriefnotesonslipsofpaperwhenhecouldnolongerspeak。

ClemensvisitedhimatMt。McGregorandbroughtthedyingsoldierthecomfortingnewsthatenoughofhisbookswerealreadysoldtoprovidegenerouslyforhisfamily，andthatthesaleswouldaggregateatleasttwiceasmuchbytheendoftheyear。

ThiswassometimeinJuly。Onthe23dofthatmonthGeneralGrantdied。Immediatelytherewasanewspaperdiscussionastothemostsuitableplaceforthegreatchieftaintolie。MarkTwain”scontributiontothisdebate，thoughintheformofanopenletter，seemsworthyofpreservationhere。

TotheNewYork“Sun，“ontheproperplaceforGrant”sTomb：

ToTHEEDITOROP”THESUN：——SIR，——ThenewspaperatmosphereischargedwithobjectionstoNewYorkasaplaceofsepulchreforGeneralGrant，andtheobjectorsarestrenuousthatWashingtonistherightplace。Theyoffergoodreasons——goodtemporaryreasons——forbothofthesepositions。

Butitseemstomethattemporaryreasonsarenotmetefortheoccasion。

Weneedtoconsiderposterityratherthanourowngeneration。Weshouldselectagravewhichwillnotmerelybeintherightplacenow，butwillstillbeintherightplace500yearsfromnow。

HowdoesWashingtonpromiseastothat？Youhaveonlytohititinoneplacetokillit。Somedaythewestwillbenumericallystrongenoughtomovetheseatofgovernment；herpastattemptsareafairwarningthatwhenthedaycomesshewilldoit。ThenthecityofWashingtonwillloseitsconsequenceandpassoutofthepublicviewandpublictalk。Itisquitewithinthepossibilitiesthat，acenturyhence，peoplewouldwonderandsay，“Howdidyourpredecessorscometoburytheirgreatdeadinthisdesertedplace？“

ButaslongasAmericancivilisationlastsNewYorkwilllast。Icannotbutthinkshehasbeenwellandwiselychosenastheguardianofagravewhichisdestinedtobecomealmostthemostconspicuousintheworld”shistory。TwentycenturiesfromnowNewYorkwillstillbeNewYork，stillavastcity，andthemostnotableobjectinitwillstillbethetombandmonumentofGeneralGrant。

IobservethatthecommonandstrongestobjectiontoNewYorkisthatsheisnot“nationalground。”Letusgiveourselvesnouneasinessaboutthat。WhereverGeneralGrant”sbodylies，thatisnationalground。

S。L。CLEMENS。

ELMIRA，July27。

Theletterthatfollowsisverylong，butitseemstooimportantandtoointerestingtobeomittedinanypart。GeneralGrant”searlyindulgenceinliquorshadlongbeenamatterofwide，thoughnotverydefinite，knowledge。EveryonehadheardhowLincoln，onbeingtoldthatGrantdrank，remarkedsomethingtotheeffectthathewouldliketoknowwhatkindofwhiskyGrantusedsothathemightgetsomeofitforhisothergenerals。HenryWardBeecher，selectedtodeliveraeulogyonthedeadsoldier，anddoubtlesswishingneithertoignorethematternortomaketoomuchofit，naturallyturnedforinformationtothepublisherofGrant”sownmemoirs，hopingfromanadvancecopytoobtainlight。

ToHenryWardBeecher，。Brooklyn：

ELMIRA，N。Y。Sept。11，”85。

MYDEARMR。BEECHER，——MynephewWebsterisinEuropemakingcontractsfortheMemoirs。Beforehesailedhecametomewithawriting，directedtotheprintersandbinders，tothiseffect：

“HonornoorderforasightorcopyoftheMemoirswhileIamabsent，eventhoughitbesignedbyMr。Clemenshimself。”

Igavemypermission。TherewereweightyreasonswhyIshouldnotonlygivemypermission，butholditamatterofhonortonotdissolvetheorderormodifyitatanytime。SoIdidallofthat——saidtheordershouldstandundisturbedtotheend。Ifaprincipalcoulddissolvehispromiseasinnocentlyashecandissolvehiswrittenorderunguardedbyhispromise，IwouldsendyouacopyoftheMemoirsinstantly。Ididnotforeseeyou，orIwouldhavemadeanexception……

Myideagainedfromarmymen，isthatthedrunkenness(andsometimesprettyrecklessspreeing，nights，)ceasedbeforehecameEasttobeLt。

General。(ReferespeciallytoGen。Wm。B。Franklin——[IfyoucouldseeFranklinandtalkwithhim——thenhewouldunbosom，])ItwaswhileGrantwasstillintheWestthatMr。Lincolnsaidhewishedhecouldfindoutwhatbrandofwhiskythatfellowused，sohecouldfurnishittosomeoftheothergenerals。FranklinsawGranttumblefromhishorsedrunk，whilereviewingtroopsinNewOrleans。Thefallgavehimagooddealofahurt。HewasthenonthepointofleavingfortheChattanoogaregion。

Inaturallyput“thatandthattogether“whenIreadGen。O。O。Howards”sarticleintheChristianUnion，threeorfourweeksago——wherehementionsthatthenewGeneralarrivedlamefromarecentaccident。

(Seethatarticle。)AndwhynotwriteHoward？

Franklinspokepositivelyofthefrequentspreeing。Incamp——intimeofwar……

CaptainGrantwasfrequentlythreatenedbytheCommandantofhisOregonpostwithareporttotheWarDepartmentofhisconductunlesshemodifiedhisintemperance。Thereportwouldmeandismissalfromtheservice。Atlastthereporthadtobemadeout；andthen，sogreatlywasthecaptainbeloved，thathewasprivatelyinformed，andwasthusenabledtorushhisresignationtoWashingtonaheadofthereport。Didthereportgo，nevertheless？Idon”tknow。Ifitdid，itisintheWarDepartmentnow，possibly，andseeable。Igotallthisfromaregulararmyman，butIcan”tnamehimtosaveme。

TheonlytimeGeneralGrantevermentionedliquortomewasaboutlastAprilorpossiblyMay。Hesaid：

“IfIcouldonlybuildupmystrength！Thedoctorsurgewhiskyandchampagne；butIcan”ttakethem；Ican”tabidethetasteofanykindofliquor。”

Hadhemadeaconquestsocompletethateventhetasteofliquorwasbecomeanoffense？Orwashesosoreoverwhathadbeensaidabouthishabitthathewantedtopersuadeothersandlikewisehimselfthathehadn”teveneverhadanytasteforit？Itsoundedlikethelatter，butthat”snoevidence。

Hetoldmeinthefallof”84thattherewassomethingthematterwithhisthroat，andthatatthesuggestionofhisphysicianshehadreducedhissmokingtoonecigaraday。Thenheadded，inacasualfashion，thathedidn”tcareforthatone，andseldomsmokedit。

Icouldunderstandthatfeeling。Hehadsetouttoconquernotthehabitbuttheinclination——thedesire。Hehadgoneattheroot，notthetrunk。

It”stheperfectwayandtheonlytrueway(Ispeakfromexperience。)

HowIdohatethoseenemiesofthehumanracewhogoaroundenslavingGod”sfreepeoplewithpledges——toquitdrinkinginsteadoftoquitwantingtodrink。

ButShermanandVanVlietknoweverythingconcerningGrant；andifyoutellthemhowyouwanttousethefacts，bothofthemwilltestify。

Regulararmymenhavenoconcealmentsabouteachother；andyettheymaketheirawfulstatementswithoutshadeorcolorormalicewithafranknessandachild-likenaivety，indeed，whichisenchanting-andstupefying。

WestPointseemstoteachthemthat，amongotherpricelessthingsnottobegotinanyothercollegeinthisworld。Ifwetalkedaboutourguild-

matesasIhaveheardSherman，Grant，VanVlietandotherstalkabouttheirs——mateswithwhomtheywereonthebestpossibleterms——wecouldneverexpectthemtospeaktousagain……

Iamreminded，now，ofanothermatter。ThedayofthefuneralIsatanhouroverasingledrinkandseveralcigarswithVanVlietandShermanandSenatorSherman。；andamongotherthingsGen。Shermansaid，withimpatientscorn：

“TheideaofallthisnonsenseaboutGrantnotbeingabletostandrudelanguageandindelicatestories！WhyGrantwasfullofhumor，andfulloftheappreciationofit。IhavesatwithhimbythehourlisteningtoJimNye”syarns，andIreckonyouknowthestyleofJimNye”shistories，Clemens。Itmakesmesick——thatnewspapernonsense。Grantwasnonamby-

pambyfool，hewasaman——allover——roundedandcomplete。”

IwishIhadthoughtofit！IwouldhavesaidtoGeneralGrant：“PutthedrunkennessintheMemoirs——andtherepentanceandreform。Trustthepeople。”

ButIwillwagerthereisnotahintinthebook。Hewassore，there。

AsmuchofthebookasIhavereadgivesnohint，asfarasIrecollect。

Thesick-roombroughtoutthepointsofGen。Grant”scharacter——someofthemparticularly，towit：

Hispatience；hisindestructibleequabilityoftemper；hisexceedinggentleness，kindness，forbearance，lovingness，charity；hisloyalty：tofriends，toconvictions，topromises，half-promises，infinitesimalfractionsandshadowsofpromises；(TherewasarequirementofhimwhichIconsideredanatrocity，aninjustice，anoutrage；Iwantedtoimplorehimtorepudiateit；FredGrantsaid，“Saveyourlabor，Iknowhim；heisindoubtastowhetherhemadethathalf-promiseornot——and，hewillgivethethingthebenefitofthedoubt；hewillfulfillthathalf-

promiseorkillhimselftrying；“FredGrantwasright——hedidfulfillit；)hisaggravatinglytrustfulnature；hisgenuineness，simplicity，modesty，diffidence，self-depreciation，povertyinthequalityofvanity-

and，innocontradictionofthislast，hissimplepleasureintheflowersandgeneralrucksenttohimbyTom，DickandHarryfromeverywhere——apleasurethatsuggestedaperennialsurprisethatheshouldbetheobjectofsomuchfineattention——hewasthemostlovablegreatchildintheworld；(Imentionedhisloyalty：yourememberHarrison，thecoloredbody-

servant？thewholefamilyhatedhim，butthatdidnotmakeanydifference，theGeneralalwaysstoodathisback，wouldn”tallowhimtobescolded；alwaysexcusedhisfailuresanddeficiencieswiththeoneunvaryingformula，“Weareresponsibleforthesethingsinhisrace——itisnotfairtovisitourfaultuponthem——lethimalone；“sotheydidlethimalone，undercompulsion，untilthegreatheartthatwashisshieldwastakenaway；then——welltheysimplycouldn”tstandhim，andsotheywereexcusablefordeterminingtodischargehim——athingwhichtheymortallyhatedtodo，andbyluckyaccidentweresavedfromthenecessityofdoing；)histoughnessasabargainerwhendoingbusinessforotherpeopleorforhiscountry(witnesshis“terms“atDonelson，Vicksburg，etc。；FredGranttoldmehisfatherwoundupanestateforthewidowandorphansofafriendinSt。Louis——ittookseveralyears；attheendeverycomplicationhadbeenstraightenedout，andthepropertyputuponaprosperousbasis；greatsumshadpassedthroughhishands，andwhenhehandedoverthepaperstherewerevoucherstoshowwhathadbeendonewitheverypenny)andhistrusting，easy，unexactingfashionwhendoingbusinessforhimself(atthatsametimehewaspayingoutmoneyindribletstoamanwhowasrunninghisfarmforhim——andinhisfirstPresidencyhepaideveryoneofthosedribletsagain(total，$3，000F。

said，)forhehadn”tascrapofpapertoshowthathehadeverpaidthembefore；inhisdealingswithmehewouldnotlistentotermswhichwouldplacemymoneyatriskandleavehimprotected——thethoughtplainlygavehimpain，andheputitfromhim，waveditoffwithhishands，asonedoesaccountsofcrushingsandmutilations——wouldn”tlisten，changedthesubject；)andhisfortitude！Hewasunder，sentenceofdeathlastspring；hesatthinking，musing，severaldays——nobodyknowswhatabout；

thenhepulledhimselftogetherandsettoworktofinishthatbook，acolossaltaskforadyingman。Presentlyhishandgaveout；fateseemedtohavegothimcheckmated。Dictationwassuggested。No，henevercoulddothat；hadnevertriedit；toooldtolearn，now。Byandby——ifhecouldonlydoAppomattox-well。Sohesentforastenographer，anddictated9，000wordsatasinglesitting！——neverpausing，neverhesitatingforaword，neverrepeating——andinthewritten-outcopyhemadehardlyacorrection。Hedictatedagain，everytwoorthreedays——

theintervalswereintervalsofexhaustionandslowrecuperation——andatlasthewasabletotellmethathehadwrittenmorematterthancouldbegotintothebook。Ithenenlargedthebook——hadto。Thenhelosthisvoice。Hewasnotquitedoneyet，however：——therewasnoendoflittleplumsandspicestobestuckin，hereandthere；andthisworkhepatientlycontinued，afewlinesaday，withpadandpencil，tillfarintoJuly，atMt。McGregor。Onedayheputhispencilaside，andsaidhewasdone——therewasnothingmoretodo。IfIhadbeenthereIcouldhaveforetoldtheshockthatstrucktheworldthreedayslater。

Well，I”vewrittenallthis，anditdoesn”tseemtoamounttoanything。

ButIdowanttohelp，ifIonlycould。IwillenclosesomescrapsfrommyAutobiography——scrapsaboutGeneralGrant——theymaybeofsometrifleofuse，andtheymaynot——theyatleastverifyknowntraitsofhischaracter。MyAutobiographyisprettyfreelydictated，butmyideaistojack-planeitalittlebeforeIdie，somedayorother；Imeantherudeconstructionandrottengrammar。ItistheonlydictatingIeverdid，anditwasmosttroublesomeandawkwardwork。YoumayreturnittoHartford。

SincerelyYoursS。L。CLEMENS。

Theoldlong-deferredLibraryofHumorcameupagainfordiscussion，wheninthefallof1885HowellsassociatedhimselfwithHarper&

Brothers。Howells”scontractprovidedthathisnamewasnottoappearonanybooknotpublishedbytheHarperfirm。Hewrote，therefore，offeringtosellouthisinterestintheenterprisefortwothousanddollars，inadditiontothefivehundredwhichhehadalreadyreceived——anamountconsideredtobelessthanhewastohavereceivedasjointauthorandcompiler。MarkTwain”sanswerprettyfullycoversthedetailsofthisundertaking。

ToW。D。Howells，inBoston：

HARTFORD，Oct。18，1885。

Private。

MYDEARHOWELLS，——Ireckonitwouldruinthebookthatis，makeitnecessarytopigeon-holeitandleaveitunpublished。Icouldn”tpublishitwithoutaveryresponsiblenametosupportmyownonthetitlepage，becauseithassomuchofmyownmatterinit。IboughtOsgood”srightsfor$3，000cash，IhavepaidClark$800andowehim$700more，whichmustofcoursebepaidwhetherIpublishornot。YetIfullyrecognizethatI

havenosortofmoralrighttoletthatancientandprocrastinatedcontracthamperyouinanyway，andImostcertainlywon”t。So，itismydecision，——afterthinkingoverandrejectingtheideaoftryingtobuypermissionoftheHarpersfor$2，500touseyourname，(apropositionwhichtheywouldhatetorefusetoamaninaperplexedposition，andyetwouldnaturallyhavetorefuseit，)topigeon-holethe“Library“：notdestroyit，butmerelypigeon-holeitandwaitafewyearsandseewhatnewnotionProvidencewilltakeconcerningit。Hewillnotdesertusnow，afterputtinginfourlickstoouroneonthisbookallthistime。

Itreallyseemsinasensediscourteousnottocallit“Providence”sLibraryofHumor。”

Nowthatdealisallsettled，thenextquestionis，doyouneedandmustyourequirethat$2，000now？SincelastMarch，youknow，Iamcarryingamightyload，solitaryandalone——GeneralGrant”sbook——andmustcarryittillthefirstvolumeis30daysold(Jan。1st)beforethereliefmoneywillbegintoflowin。FromnowtillthefirstofJanuaryeverydollarisasvaluabletomeasitcouldbetoafamishingtramp。Ifyoucanwaittillthen——Imeanwithoutdiscomfort，withoutinconvenience——itwillbealargeaccommodationtome；butIwillnotallowyoutodothisfavorifitwilldiscommodeyou。So，speakrightout，frankly，andifyouneedthemoneyIwillgooutonthehighwayandgetit，usingviolence，ifnecessary。

Mind，Iamnotinfinancialdifficulties，andamnotgoingtobe。Iammerelyastarvingbeggarstandingoutsidethedoorofplenty——obstructedbyaYaletime-lockwhichissetforJan。1st。Icanstandit，andstanditperfectlywell；butthedaysdoseemtofoolalongconsiderableslowerthantheyusedto。

IammightygladyouarewiththeHarpers。Ihavenoticedthatgoodmenintheiremploygotheretostay。

Yoursever，MARK。

InthenextletterwebegintogetsomeideaofthesizeofMarkTwain”sfirstpublishingventure，andabriefsummaryofresultsmaynotbeoutofplacehere。

TheGrantLifewasissuedintwovolumes。Intheearlymonthsoftheyearwhentheagents”canvasswasjustbeginning，MarkTwain，withwhatseemsnowalmostclairvoyantvision，prophesiedasaleofthreehundredthousandsets。Theactualsalesransomewhatmorethanthisnumber。OnFebruary27，1886，CharlesL。Webster&Co。

paidtoMrs。Grantthelargestsingleroyaltycheckinthehistoryofbook-publishing。Theamountofitwastwohundredthousanddollars。Subsequentchecksincreasedtheaggregatereturntoconsiderablymorethandoublethisfigure。InamemorandummadebyClemensinthemidstofthecanvasshewrote。”

“During100consecutivedaysthesales(i。e。，subscriptions)ofGeneralGrant”sbookaveraged3，000sets(6，000singlevolumes)perday：Roughlystated，Mrs。Grant”sincomeduringallthattimewas$5，000aday。”

ToW。D。Howells，inBoston：

HOTELNORMANDIE

NEWYORK，Dec。2，”85。

MYDEARHOWELLS，——ItoldWebster，thisafternoon，tosendyouthat$2，000；butheisinsucharush，thesefirstdaysofpublication，thathemaypossiblyforgetit；soIwritelestIforgetittoo。Remindme，ifheshouldforget。WhenIpostponedyoulately，IdiditbecauseI

thoughtIshouldbecrampedformoneyuntilJanuary，butthathasturnedouttobeanerror，soIhastentocutshortthepostponement。

IjudgebythenewspapersthatyouareinAuburndale，butIdon”tknowitofficially。

I”vegotthefirstvolumelaunchedsafely；consequently，halfofthesuspenseisover，andIamthatmuchnearerthegoal。We”veboundandshipped200，000books；andbythe10thshallfinishandshiptheremaining125，000ofthefirstedition。Igotnervousandcamedowntohelphump-upthebinderies；andImeantostayhereprettymuchallthetimetillthefirstdaysofMarch，whenthesecondvolumewillissue。

Shan”thavesomuchtrouble，thistime，though，ifwegettopressprettysoon，becausewecangetmorebinderiesthenthanaretobehadinfrontoftheholidays。Onelivesandlearns。Ifindittakes7binderiesfourmonthstobind325，000books。

Thisisagoodbooktopublish。Iheardacanvassersay，yesterday，thatwhiledeliveringelevenbookshetook7newsubscriptions。Butweshallbeinahellofafixifthatgoeson——itwill“ballup“thebinderiesagain。

YrseverMARK。

November30ththatyearwasMarkTwain”sfiftiethbirthday，aneventnoticedbythenewspapersgenerally，andespeciallyobservedbymanyofhisfriends。Warner，Stocktonandmanyotherssentletters；

AndrewLangcontributedafinepoem；alsoOliverWendell。Holmes——

thelatterbyspecialrequestofMissGilder——fortheCritic。Theseattentionscameasasortofcrowninghappinessattheendofagoldenyear。AtnotimeinhislifewereMarkTwain”sfortunesandprospectsbrighter；hehadabeautifulfamilyandaperfecthome。

Also，hehadgreatprosperity。Thereading-tourwithCablehadbeenafinesuccess。Hislatestbook，TheAdventuresofHuckleberryFinn，hadaddedlargelytohisfameandincome。ThepublicationoftheGrantMemoirshadbeenadazzlingtriumph。MarkTwainhadbecomerecognized，notonlyasAmerica”smostdistinguishedauthor，butasitsmostenviedpublisher。Andnow，withhisfiftiethbirthday，hadcomethislaurelfromHolmes，lastoftheBrahmins，toaddatouchofglorytoalltherest。Wefeelhisexaltationinhisnoteofacknowledgment。

ToDr。OliverWendellHolmes，inBoston：

DEARMR。HOLMES，——Ishallneverbeabletotellyouthehalfofhowproudyouhavemademe。IfIcouldyouwouldsayyouwerenearlypaidforthetroubleyoutook。Andthenthefamily：IfIcanconveytheelectricalsurpriseandgratitudeandexaltationofthewifeandthechildrenlastnight，whentheyhappeneduponthatCriticwhereIhad，withartfulartlessness，spreaditopenandretiredoutofviewtoseewhatwouldhappen——well，itwasgreatandfineandbeautifultosee，andmademefeelasthevictorfeelswhentheshoutinghostsmarchby；andifyoualsocouldhaveseenityouwouldhavesaidtheaccountwassquared。ForIhavebroughtthemupinyourcompany，asinthecompanyofawarmandfriendlyandbeneficentbutfar-distantsun；andso，foryoutodothisthingwasforthesuntosenddownoutoftheskiesthemiracleofaspecialrayandtransfiguremebeforetheirfaces。Iknewwhatthatpoemwouldbetothem；Iknewitwouldraisemeuptoremoteandshiningheightsintheireyes，toveryfellowshipwiththechamberedNautilusitself，andthatfromthatfellowshiptheycouldnevermoredissociatemewhiletheyshouldlive；andsoImadesuretobebywhenthesurpriseshouldcome。

CharlesDudleyWarnerischarmedwiththepoemforitsownfelicitoussake；andsoindeedamI，butmorebecauseithasdrawnthestingofmyfiftiethyear；takenawaythepainofit，thegriefofit，thesomehowshameofit，andmademegladandproudithappened。

Withreverenceandaffection，Sincerelyyours，S。L。CLEMENS。

Holmeswrotewithhisownhand：“DidMissGildertellyouIhadtwenty-threelettersspreadoutforanswerwhenhersuggestioncameaboutyouranniversary？Istoppedmycorrespondenceandmademyletterswaituntilthelinesweredone。”

EndLettersVol。4

byMarkTwainVOLUMEIV。

MARKTWAIN”SLETTERS1886-1900

XXVI

LETTERS，1886-87。JANECLEMENS”SROMANCE。UNMAILEDLETTERS，ETC。

WhenClemenshadbeenplatformingwithCableandreturnedtoHartfordforhisChristmasvacation，theWarnerandClemensfamilieshadjoinedinpreparingforhimasurpriseperformanceofThePrinceandthePauper。TheClemenshouseholdwasalwaysgiventotheatricals，anditwasaboutthistimethatsceneryandastagewereprepared——mainlybythesculptorGerhardt——forthesehomeperformances，afterwhichproductionsofThePrinceandthePauperweregivenwithconsiderableregularitytoaudiencesconsistingofparentsandinvitedfriends。Thesubjectisafascinatingone，butithasbeendweltuponelsewhere——[InMarkTwain：ABiography，chaps。cliffandclx。]——WegetaglimpseofoneoftheseoccasionsaswellasofMarkTwain”sfinancialprogressinthenextbriefnote。

ToW。D。Howells；inBoston：

Jan。3，”86。

MYDEARHOWELLS，——ThedatesetforthePrinceandPauperplayistendayshence——Jan。13。IhopeyouandPillacantakeatrainthatarriveshereduringtheday；theonethatleavesBostontowardtheendoftheafternoonwouldbeatriflelate；theperformancewouldhavealreadybegunwhenyoureachedthehouse。

I”moutofthewoods。OnthelastdayoftheyearIhadpaidout$182，000ontheGrantbookanditwastotallyfreefromdebt。

YrseverMARK。

MarkTwain”smotherwasawomanofsturdycharacterandwithakeensenseofhumorandtendersympathies。Herhusband，JohnMarshallClemens，hadbeenamanofhighmoralcharacter，honoredbyallwhoknewhim，respectedandapparentlylovedbyhiswife。Noonewouldeverhavesupposedthatduringallheryearsofmarriage，andalmosttoherdeath，shecarriedasecretromancethatwouldonlybetoldatlastinthewearydisappointmentofoldage。Itisacuriousstory，anditcametolightinthiscuriousway：

ToW。D。Howells，inBoston：

HARTFORD，May19，”86。

MYDEARHOWELLS，……Here”sasecret。Amostcuriousandpatheticromance，whichhasjustcometolight。Readthesethings，butdon”tmentionthem。Lastfall，myoldmother——then82——tookanotiontoattendaconventionofoldsettlersoftheMississippiValleyinanIowatown。

Mybrother”swifewasastonished；andrepresentedtoherthehardshipsandfatiguesofsuchatrip，andsaidmymothermightpossiblynotevensurvivethem；andsaidtherecouldbenopossibleinterestforherinsuchameetingandsuchacrowd。Butmymotherinsisted，andpersisted；

andfinallygainedherpoint。Theystarted；andallthewaymymotherwasyoungagainwithexcitement，interest，eagerness，anticipation。Theyreachedthetownandthehotel。Mymotherstrodewiththesameeagernessinhereyeandherstep，tothecounter，andsaid：

“IsDr。BarrettofSt。Louis，here？“

“No。Hewashere，buthereturnedtoSt。Louisthismorning。”

“Willhecomeagain？“

“No。”

Mymotherturnedaway，thefireallgonefromher，andsaid，“Letusgohome。”

TheywentstraightbacktoKeokuk。Mymothersatsilentandthinkingformanydays——athingwhichhadneverhappenedbefore。Thenonedayshesaid：

“Iwilltellyouasecret。WhenIwaseighteen，ayoungmedicalstudentnamedBarrettlivedinColumbia(Ky。)eighteenmilesaway；andheusedtorideovertoseeme。Thiscontinuedforsometime。Ilovedhimwithmywholeheart，andIknewthathefeltthesametowardme，thoughnowordshadbeenspoken。Hewastoobashfultospeak——hecouldnotdoit。

Everybodysupposedwewereengaged——tookitforgrantedwewere——butwewerenot。Byandbytherewastobeapartyinaneighboringtown，andhewrotemyuncletellinghimhisfeelings，andaskinghimtodrivemeoverinhisbuggyandlethim(Barrett)drivemeback，sothathemighthavethatopportunitytopropose。Myuncleshouldhavedoneashewasasked，withoutexplaininganythingtome；butinstead，hereadmetheletter；andthen，ofcourse，Icouldnotgo——anddidnot。He(Barrett)

leftthecountrypresently，andI，tostoptheclackingtongues，andtoshowhimthatIdidnotcare，married，inapet。Inallthesesixty-fouryearsIhavenotseenhimsince。IsawinapaperthathewasgoingtoattendthatOldSettlers”Convention。Onlythreehoursbeforewereachedthathotel，hehadbeenstandingthere！“

Sincethen，hermemoryiswhollyfadedoutandgone；andnowshewritesletterstotheschool-mateswhohadbeendeadfortyyears，andwonderswhytheyneglectheranddonotanswer。

Thinkofhercarryingthatpatheticburdeninheroldheartsixty-fouryears，andnohumanbeingeversuspectingit！

Yrsever，MARK。

Wedonotgettheideafromthisletterthatthosetwolongagosweetheartsquarreled，butMarkTwainoncespokeoftheirhavingdoneso，andtheremayhavebeenadisagreement，assumingthattherewasasubsequentmeeting。Itdoesnotmatter，now。Inspeakingofit，MarkTwainoncesaid：“Itisaspatheticaromanceasanythathascrossedthefieldofmypersonalexperienceinalonglifetime。”——[WhenMarkTwain：

ABiographywaswrittenthisletterhadnotcometolight，andthematterwasstatedthereinaccordancewithMarkTwain”slatestmemoryofit。]

Howellswrote：“Afterall，howpoorandhackneyedalltheinventionsarecomparedwiththesimpleandstatelyfacts。Whocouldhaveimaginedsuchaheart-breakasthat？Yetitwentalongwiththefulfillmentofeverydaydutyandmadenomorenoisethanagraveunderfoot。Idoubtiffictionwillevergettheknackofsuchthings。”

JaneClemensnowlivedwithhersonOrionandhiswife，inKeokuk，whereshewasmorecontentedthanelsewhere。Intheselaterdayshermemoryhadbecomeerratic，herrealizationofeventsaboutheruncertain，butthereweretimeswhenshewasquiteherformerself，rememberingclearlyandtalkingwithherold-timegaietyofspirit。MarkTwainfrequentlysentherplayfulletterstoamuseher，lettersfullofsuchboyishgaietyashadamusedherlongyearsbefore。Theonethatfollowsisafairexample。ItwaswrittenafteravisitwhichClemensandhisfamilyhadpaidtoKeokuk。

ToJaneClemens，inKeokuk：

ELMIRA，Aug。7，”86。

DEARMA，——IheardthatMollyandOrionandPamelahadbeensick，butI

seebyyourletterthattheyaremuchbetternow，ornearlywell。Whenwevisitedyouamonthago，itseemedtousthatyourKeokukweatherwasprettyhot；JeanandClarasatupinbedatMrs。McElroy”sandcriedaboutit，andsodidI；butIjudgebyyourletterthatithascooleddown，now，sothatapersoniscomparativelycomfortable，withhisskinoff。Wellitdidneedcooling；IrememberthatIburntaholeinmyshirt，there，withsomeicecreamthatfellonit；andMissJenkinstoldmetheyneverusedastove，butcookedtheirmealsonamarble-toppedtableinthedrawing-room，justwiththenaturalheat。Ifanybodyelsehadtoldme，Iwouldnothavebelievedit。IwastoldbytheBishopofKeokukthathedidnotallowcryingatfunerals，becauseitscaldedthefurniture。IfMissJenkinshadtoldmethat，Iwouldhavebelievedit。

ThisremindsmethatyouspeakofDr。Jenkinsandhisfamilyasiftheywerestrangerstome。Indeedtheyarenot。Don”tyousupposeIremembergratefullyhowtenderthedoctorwaswithJeanwhenshehurtherarm，andhowquicklyhegotthepainoutofthehurt，whereasIsupposeditwasgoingtolastatleastanhour？No，Idon”tforgetsomethingsaseasilyasIdoothers。

Yes，itwasprettyhotweather。Nowhere，whenapersonisgoingtodie，heisalwaysinasweataboutwhereheisgoingto；butinKeokukofcoursetheydon”tcare，becausetheyarefixedforeverything。Ithassetmereflecting，ithastaughtmealesson。Byandby，whenmyhealthfails，Iamgoingtoputallmyaffairsinorder，andbidgood-byetomyfriendshere，andkillallthepeopleIdon”tlike，andgoouttoKeokukandpreparefordeath。

Theyareallwellinthisfamily，andweallsendlove。

AfflyYourSonSAM。

Thewaysofcityofficialsandcorporationsareoftenpastunderstanding，andMarkTwainsometimesfounditnecessarytowritepicturesquelettersofprotest。ThefollowingtoaHartfordlightingcompanyisafairexampleofthesedocuments。

Toagasandelectric-lightingcompany，inHartford：

GENTLEMEN，——Therearebuttwoplacesinourwholestreetwherelightscouldbeofanyvalue，byanyaccident，andyouhavemeasuredandappointedyourintervalssoingeniouslyastoleaveeachofthoseplacesinthecentreofacoupleofhundredyardsofsoliddarkness。WhenI

noticedthatyouweresettingoneofyourlightsinsuchawaythatI

couldalmostseehowtogetintomygateatnight，Isuspectedthatitwasapieceofcarelessnessonthepartoftheworkmen，andwouldbecorrectedassoonasyoushouldgoaroundinspectingandfinditout。

Myjudgmentwasright；itisalwaysright，whenyouaxeconcerned。Forfifteenyears，inspiteofmyprayersandtears，youpersistentlykeptagaslampexactlyhalfwaybetweenmygates，sothatIcouldn”tfindeitherofthemafterdark；andthenfurnishedsuchexecrablegasthatI

hadtohangadangersignalonthelampposttokeepteamsfromrunningintoit，nights。NowIsupposeyourpresentideais，toleaveusalittlemoreinthedark。

Don”tmindus——outourway；wepossessbutonevoteapiece，andnorightswhichyouareinanywayboundtorespect。Pleasetakeyourelectriclightandgoto——butnevermind，itisnotformetosuggest；youwillprobablyfindtheway；andanywayyoucanreasonablycountondivineassistanceifyouloseyourbearings。

S。L。CLEMENS。

[EtextEditor”sNote：TwainwroteanothernotetoHartfordGasandElectric，whichhemaynothavemailedandwhichPainedoesnotincludeinthesevolumes：

“Gentleman：——SomedayyouaregoingtomovemealmosttothepointofirritationwithyourGod-damnedchuckleheadedfashionofturningoffyourGod-damnedgaswithoutgivingnoticetoyourGod-damnedparishioners——andyoudiditagainlastnight”

D。W。]

FrequentlyClemensdidnotsendlettersofthissortaftertheywerewritten。Sometimesherealizedtheuselessnessofsuchprotest，sometimesthemerewritingofthemhadfurnishedthenecessaryrelief，andheput，theletteraway，orintothewastebasket，andwrotesomethingmoretemperate，ornothingatall。Afewsuchlettersherefollow。

Clemenswasallthetimereceivingapplicationfrompeoplewhowishedhimtorecommendonearticleoranother；books，plays，tobacco，andwhatnot。Theyweregenerallypersistentpeople，unabletoacceptapoliteorkindlydenial。Oncehesetdownsomeremarksonthisparticularphaseofcorrespondence。Hewrote：

I

NodoubtMr。Edisonhasbeenofferedalargeinterestinmanyandmanyanelectricalproject，fortheuseofhisnametofloatitwithal。Andnodoubtallmenwhohaveachievedfortheirnames，inanylineofactivitywhatever，asuremarketvalue，havebeenfamiliarwiththissortofsolicitation。Reputationisahall-mark：itcanremovedoubtfrompuresilver，anditcanalsomaketheplatedarticlepassforpure。

Andso，peoplewithoutahall-markoftheirownarealwaystryingtogettheloanofsomebodyelse”s。

Asarule，thatkindofapersonseesonlyonesideofthecase。Heseesthathisinventionorhispaintingorhisbookis——apparently——atriflebetterthanyouyourselfcando，thereforewhyshouldn”tyoubewillingtoputyourhall-markonit？Youwillbegivingthepurchaserhisfullmoney”sworth；sowhoishurt，andwhereistheharm？Besides，areyounothelpingastrugglingfellow-craftsman，andisitnotyourdutytodothat？

Thatsideisplentyclearenoughtohim，buthecan”tandwon”tseetheotherside，to-wit：thatyouarearascalifyouputyourhall-markuponathingwhichyoudidnotproduceyourself，howsoevergooditmaybe。

Howsimplethatis；andyettherearenottwoapplicantsinahundredwhocan，bemadetoseeit。

Whenonereceivesanapplicationofthissort，hisfirstemotionisanindignantsenseofinsult；hisfirstdeedisthepenningofasharpanswer。Heblamesnobodybutthatotherperson。Thatpersonisaverybasebeing；hemustbe；hewoulddegradehimselfformoney，otherwiseitwouldnotoccurtohimthatyouwoulddosuchathing。Butallthesame，thatapplicationhasdoneitswork，andtakenyoudowninyourownestimation。Yourecognizethateverybodyhasn”tashighanopinionofyouasyouhaveofyourself；andinspiteofyouthereensuesanintervalduringwhichyouarenot，inyourownestimationasfineabirdasyouwerebefore。

However，beingoldandexperienced，youdonotmailyoursharpletter，butleaveitlyingaday。Thatsavesyou。Forbythattimeyouhavebeguntoreflectthatyouareapersonwhodealsinexaggerations——andexaggerationsarelies。Youmeantyourstobeplayful，andthoughtyoumadethemunmistakablyso。Butyoucouldn”tmakethemplayfulnessestoamanwhohasnosenseoftheplayfulandcanseenothingbuttheserioussideofthings。Yourattleonquiteplayfully，andwithmeasurelessextravagance，abouthowyouweptatthetombofAdam；andallingoodtimeyoufindtoyourastonishmentthatnoendofpeopletookyouatyourwordandbelievedyou。Andpresentlytheyfindoutthatyouwerenotinearnest。Theyhavebeendeceived；therefore，(astheyargue——andthereisasortofargumentinit，)youareadeceiver。Ifyouwilldeceiveinoneway，whyshouldn”tyouinanother？Sotheyapplyfortheuseofyourtrade-mark。Youareamazedandaffronted。Youretortthatyouarenotthatkindofperson。Thentheyareamazedandaffronted；andwonder“sincewhen？“

Bythistimeyouhavegotyourbearings。Yourealizethatperhapsthereisalittleblameonbothsides。Youareintherightframe，now。Soyouwritealettervoidofoffense，declining。Youmailthisone；youpigeon-holetheother。

Thatis，beingoldandexperienced，youdo，butearlyinyourcareer，youdon”t：youmailthefirstone。

II

Anenthusiastwhohadanewsystemofmusicalnotation，wrotetomeandsuggestedthatamagazinearticlefromme，contrastingtheabsurditiesoftheoldsystemwiththesimplicitiesofhisnewone，wouldbesuretomakea“rousinghit。”Heshoutedandshoutedoverthemarvelswroughtbyhissystem，andquotedthehandsomecomplimentswhichhadbeenpaiditbyfamousmusicalpeople；butheforgottotellmewhathisnotationwaslike，orwhatitssimplicitiesconsistedin。SoIcouldnothavewrittenthearticleifIhadwantedto——whichIdidn”t；becauseIhatestrangerswithaxestogrind。IwrotehimacourteousnoteexplaininghowbusyI

was——IalwaysexplainhowbusyIam——andcasuallydroopedthisremark：

“IjudgetheX-Xnotationtobearationalmodeofrepresentingmusic，inplaceoftheprevailingfashion，whichwastheinventionofanidiot。”

Nextmailheaskedpermissiontoprintthatmeaninglessremark。

Ianswered，no——courteously，butstill，no；explainingthatIcouldnotaffordtobeplacedintheattitudeoftryingtoinfluencepeoplewithamereworthlessguess。WhatascorcherIgot，nextmail！Suchirony！

suchsarcasm，suchcausticpraiseofmysuperhonorableloyaltytothepublic！Andwithal，suchcompassionformystupidity，too，innotbeingabletounderstandmyownlanguage。Icannotrememberthewordsofthisletterbroadside，buttherewasaboutapageusedupinturningthisidearoundandroundandexposingitindifferentlights。

UnmailedAnswer：

DEARSIR，——Whatisthetroublewithyou？Ifitisyourviscera，youcannothavethemtakenoutandreorganizedamomenttoosoon。Imean，iftheyareinside。Butifyouarecomposedofthem，thatisanothermatter。Isityourbrain？Butitcouldnotbeyourbrain。Possiblyitisyourskull：youwanttolookoutforthat。Somepeople，whentheygetanidea，itpriesthestructureapart。Yoursystemofnotationhasgotinthere，andcouldn”tfindroom，withoutadoubtthatiswhatthetroubleis。Yourskullwasnotmadetoputideasin，itwasmadetothrowpotatoesat。

YoursTruly。

MailedAnswer：

DEARSIR，——Come，come——takeawalk；youdisturbthechildren。

YoursTruly。

Therewasaday，nowhappilynearlyover，whencertainnewspapersmadeapracticeofinvitingmendistinguishedinanywalkoflifetogivetheirtimeandeffortwithoutchargetoexpressthemselvesonsomesubjectoftheday，orperhapstheywereaskedtosendtheirfavoritepassagesinproseorverse，withthereasonswhy。Suchsymposiumswere“features“

thatcostthenewspapersonlythewritingofanumberofletters，stationery，andpostage。ToonesuchinvitationMarkTwainwrotetworeplies。Theyfollowherewith：

UnmailedAnswer：

DEARSIR，——Ihavereceivedyourproposition——whichyouhaveimitatedfromapauperLondonperiodicalwhichhadpreviouslyimitatedtheideaofthissortofmendicancyfromseventh-rateAmericanjournalism，whereitoriginatedasavariationoftheinexpensive“interview。”

WhydoyoubuyAssociatedPressdispatches？Tomakeyourpaperthemoresalable，youanswer。Butwhydon”tyoutrytobegthem？Whydoyoudiscriminate？Icansellmystuff；whyshouldIgiveittoyou？Whydon”tyouaskmeforashirt？Whatisthedifferencebetweenaskingmefortheworthofashirtandaskingmefortheshirtitself？Perhapsyoudidn”tknowyouwerebegging。Iwouldnotusethatargument——itmakestheuserafool。Thepassageofpoetry——orprose，ifyouwill——whichhastakendeepestrootinmythought，andwhichIoftenestreturntoanddwelluponwithkeenestnomatterwhat，isthis：Thattheproperplaceforjournalistswhosolicitliterarycharityisonthestreetcornerwiththeirhatsintheirhands。

MailedAnswer：

DEARSIR，——Yourfavorofrecentdateisreceived，butIamobligedbypressofworktodecline。

ThemanagerofatravelingtheatricalcompanywrotethathehadtakenthelibertyofdramatizingTomSawyer，andwouldlikealsotheuseoftheauthor”sname——theideabeingtoconveytothepublicthatitwasaMarkTwainplay。InreturnforthisslightfavorthemanagersentaninvitationforMarkTwaintocomeandseetheplay——

tobepresentontheopeningnight，asitwere，athis(themanager”s)expense。Headdedthatiftheplayshouldbeagointhecitiestheremightbesome“arrangement“ofprofits。ApparentlytheseinducementsdidnotappealtoMarkTwain。Thelongunmailedreplyisthemoreinteresting，butprobablythebrieferonethatfollowsitwasquiteaseffective。

UnmailedAnswer：

HARTFORD，Sept。8，”87。

DEARSIR，——Andsoithasgotaroundtoyou，atlast；andyoualsohave“takentheliberty。”YouareNo。1365。When1364sweeterandbetterpeople，includingtheauthor，have“tried“todramatizeTomSawyeranddidnotarrive，whatsortofshowdoyousupposeyoustand？Thatisabook，dearsir，whichcannotbedramatized。Onemightaswelltrytodramatizeanyotherhymn。TomSawyerissimplyahymn，putintoproseformtogiveitaworldlyair。

Whythepaledoubtthatflittethdimandnebulousathwarttheforecastleofyourthirdsentence？Havenofears。YourpiecewillbeaGo。

Itwillgooutthebackdooronthefirstnight。They”vealldoneit——the1364。Sowill1365。Notoneofuseverthoughtofthesimpledeviceofhalf-solinghimselfwithastove-lid。Ah，whatsufferingalittlehindsightwouldhavesavedus。Treasurethishint。

Howkindofyoutoinvitemetothefuneral。Goto；Ihaveattendedathousandofthem。IhaveseenTomSawyer”sremainsinallthedifferentkindsofdramaticshroudsthereare。Youcannotstartanythingfresh。

Areyouseriouswhenyouproposetopaymyexpence——ifthatistheSusquehannianwayofspellingit？AndcanyoubeawarethatIchargeahundreddollarsamilewhenItravelforpleasure？Doyourealizethatitis432milestoSusquehanna？Woulditbehandyforyoutosendmethe$43，200first，soIcouldbecountingitasIcomealong；becauserailroadingisprettydrearytoasensitivenaturewhenthere”snothingsordidtobuckatforZeitvertreib。

NowasIunderstandit，dearandmagnanimous1365，youaregoingtorecreateTomSawyerdramatically，andthendomethecomplimenttoputmeinthebillsasfatherofthisshadyoffspring。Sir，doyouknowthatthiskindofacomplimenthasdestroyedpeoplebeforenow？Listen。

Twenty-fouryearsago，Iwasstrangelyhandsome。Theremainsofitarestillvisiblethroughtheriftsoftime。IwassohandsomethathumanactivitiesceasedasifspellboundwhenIcameinview，andeveninanimatethingsstoppedtolook——likelocomotives，anddistrictmessengerboysandso-on。InSanFrancisco，intherainyseasonIwasoftenmistakenforfairweather。UpononeoccasionIwastravelingintheSonoraregion，andstoppedforanhour”snooning，torestmyhorseandmyself。Allthetowncameouttolook。ThetribesofIndiansgatheredtolook。APiutesquawnamedherbabyforme，——avoluntarycomplimentwhichpleasedmegreatly。Otherattentionswerepaidme。

LastofallarrivedthepresidentandfacultyofSonoraUniversityandofferedmethepostofProfessorofMoralCultureandtheDogmaticHumanities；whichIacceptedgratefully，andenteredatonceuponmyduties。ButmynamehadpleasedtheIndians，andinthedeadlykindnessoftheirheartstheywentonnamingtheirbabiesafterme。Itriedtostopit，buttheIndianscouldnotunderstandwhyIshouldobjecttosomanifestacompliment。Thethinggrewandgrewandspreadandspreadandbecameexceedinglyembarrassing。TheUniversitystooditacoupleofyears；butthenforthesakeofthecollegetheyfeltobligedtocallahalt，althoughIhadthesympathyofthewholefaculty。Thepresidenthimselfsaidtome，“IamassorryasIcanbeforyou，andwouldstillholdoutiftherewereanyhopeahead；butyouseehowitis：thereareahundredandthirty-twoofthemalready，andfourteenprecinctstohearfrom。Thecircumstancehasbroughtyournameintomostwideandunfortunaterenown。Itcausesmuchcomment——Ibelievethatthatisnotanover-statement。Someofthiscommentispalliative，butsomeofit——bypatronsatadistance，whoonlyknowthestatisticswithouttheexplanation，——isoffensive，andinsomecasesevenviolent。Ninestudentshavebeencalledhome。Thetrusteesofthecollegehavebeengrowingmoreandmoreuneasyalltheselastmonths——steadilyalongwiththeimplacableincreaseinyourcensus——andIwillnotconcealfromyouthatmorethanoncetheyhavetouchedupontheexpediencyofachangeintheProfessorshipofMoralCulture。Thecoarselysarcasticeditorialinyesterday”sAlta，headedGivetheMoralAcrobataRest——hasbroughtthingstoacrisis，andIamchargedwiththeunpleasantdutyofreceivingyourresignation。”

Iknowyouonlymeanmeakindness，dear1365，butitisamostdeadlymistake。PleasedonotnameyourInjunforme。TrulyYours。

MailedAnswer：

NEWYORK，Sept。8。1887。

DEARSIR，——NecessarilyIcannotassenttosostrangeaproposition。AndIthinkitbutfairtowarnyouthatifyouputthepieceonthestage，youmusttakethelegalconsequences。

Yoursrespectfully，S。L。CLEMENS。

BeforethedaysofinternationalcopyrightnoAmericanauthor”sbookswerepiratedmorefreelybyCanadianpublishersthanthoseofMarkTwain。Itwasalwaysasorepointwithhimthatthesebooks，cheaplyprinted，foundtheirwayintotheUnitedStates，andweresoldincompetitionwithhisbettereditions。Thelawonthesubjectseemedtoberatherhazy，anditsvariousinterpretationsexasperating。InthenextunmailedletterMarkTwainrelieveshimselftoamisguidedofficial。Theletterisworthreadingtoday，iffornootherreason，toshowtheabsurdityofcopyrightconditionswhichprevailedatthattime。

UnmailedLettertoH。C。Christiancy，onbookPiracy：

HARTFORD，Dec。18，”87。

H。C。CHRISTIANCY，ESQ。

DEARSIR，——AsIunderstandit，thepositionoftheU。S。Governmentisthis：Ifapersonbecapturedontheborderwithcounterfeitbondsinhishands——bondsoftheN。Y。CentralRailway，forinstance——theprocedureinhiscaseshallbeasfollows：

1。IftheN。Y。C。havenotpreviouslyfiledintheseveralpoliceofficesalongtheborder，proofofownershipoftheoriginalsofthebonds，thegovernmentofficialsmustcollectadutyonthecounterfeits，andthenletthemgoaheadandcirculateinthiscountry。

2。Butifthereisproofalreadyonfile，thentheN。Y。C。maypaythedutyandtakethecounterfeits。

ButinnocasewilltheUnitedStatesconsenttogowithoutitsshareoftheswag。Itisdelicious。Thebiggestandproudestgovernmentonearthturnedsneak-thief；collectingpenniesonstolenproperty，andpocketingthemwithagreasyandlibidinousleer；goingintopartnershipwithforeignthievestorobitsownchildren；andwhenthechildescapestheforeigner，descendingtotheabysmalbasenessofhangingonandrobbingtheinfantallalonebyitself！Dearsir，thisisnotanymorerespectablethanforafathertocollecttollontheforcedprostitutionofhisowndaughter；infactitisthesamething。Upontheseterms，whatisaU。S。customhousebuta“fence？“Thatisallitis：alegalizedtraderinstolengoods。

Andthisnastylaw，thisfilthylaw，thisunspeakablelawcallsitselfa“regulationfortheprotectionofownersofcopyright！“Cansarcasmgofurtherthanthat？Inwhatwaydoesitprotectthem？Inspirationitselfcouldnotfurnisharationalanswertothatquestion。Whomdoesitprotect，then？Nobody，asfarasIcansee，buttheforeignthief-

sometimes——andhisfellow-footpadtheU。S。government，allthetime。

WhatcouldtheCentralCompanydowiththecounterfeitbondsafterithadboughtthemofthestarspangledbannerMaster-thief？Sellthematadollarapieceandfetchdownthemarketforthegenuinehundred-dollarbond？WhatcouldIdowiththat20-centcopyof“RoughingIt“whichtheUnitedStateshascollaredontheborderandiswaitingtoreleasetomeforcashincaseIamwillingtocomedowntoitsmorallevelandhelprobmyself？Sellitattenorfifteencents——dutyadded——anddestroythemarketfortheoriginal$3，50book？Whoeverdidinventthatlaw？I

wouldliketoknowthenameofthatimmortaljackass。

Dearsir，Iappreciateyourcourtesyinstretchingyourauthorityinthedesiretodomeakindness，andIsincerelythankyouforit。ButIhavenouseforthatbook；andifIwereevenstarvingforitIwouldnotpaydutyonineithertogetitorsuppressit。NodoubttherearewaysinwhichImightconsenttogointopartnershipwiththievesandfences，butthisisnotoneofthem。Thisonerevoltstheremainsofmyself-

respect；turnsmystomach。IthinkIcouldcompanionwithahighwaymanwhocarriedashot-gunandtookmanyrisks；yes，IthinkIshouldlikethatifIwereyounger；buttogoinwithabigrichgovernmentthatrobspaupers，andthewidowsandorphansofpaupersandtakesnorisk——whythethoughtjustgagsme。

Oh，no，Ishallneverpayanydutiesonpiratedbooksofmine。Iammuchtoorespectableforthat——yetawhile。Buthere——onethingthatgrovelsmeisthis：asfarasIcandiscover——whilefreelygrantingthattheU。S。copyrightlawsarefarandawaythemostidioticthatexistanywhereonthefaceoftheearth——theydon”tauthorizethegovernmenttoadmitpiratedbooksintothiscountry，tollornotoll。AndsoIthinkthatthatregulationistheinventionofoneofthosepeople——asarule，earlystrickenofGod，intellectually——thedepartmentalinterpretersofthelaws，inWashington。Theycanalwaysbedependedontotakeanyreasonablygoodlawandinterpretthecommonsensealloutofit。Theycanbedependedon，everytime，todefeatagoodlaw，andmakeitinoperative——yes，andutterlygrotesque，too，merematterforlaughterandderision。TakesomeofthedecisionsofthePost-officeDepartment，forinstance——thoughIdonotmeantosuggestthatthatasylumisanyworsethantheothersforthebreedingandnourishingofincrediblelunatics——Imerelyinstanceitbecauseithappenstobethefirsttocomeintomymind。TakethatcaseofafewyearsagowheretheP。M。GeneralsuddenlyissuedanedictrequiringyoutoaddthenameoftheStateafterBoston，NewYork，Chicago，&c，inyoursuperscriptions，onpainofhavingyourletterstoppedandforwardedtothedead-letteroffice；yes，andI

believeherequiredthecounty，too。HemadeonelittleconcessioninfavorofNewYork：youcouldsay“NewYorkCity，“andstopthere；butifyouleftoffthe“city，“youmustadd“N。Y。”toyour“NewYork。”Why，itthrewthebusinessofthewholecountryintochaosandbroughtcommercealmosttoastand-still。Nowthinkofthat！Whenthatmangoesto——to——well，whereverheisgoingto——weshan”twantthemicroscopicdetailsofhisaddress。Iguesswecanfindhim。

Well，asIwassaying，IbelievethatthiswholepaltryandridiculousswindleisapurecreationofoneofthosecabbagesthatusedtobeattheheadofoneofthoseRetreatsdownthere——Departments，youknow——andthatyouwillfinditso，ifyouwilllookintoit。Andmoreover——butland，Ireckonwearebothtiredbythistime。

TrulyYours，MARKTWAIN。

XXVII

MISCELLANEOUSLETTERSOF1887。LITERARYARTICLES。PEACEFULDAYSATTHE

FARM。FAVORITEREADING。APOLOGYTOMRS。CLEVELAND，ETC。

WehaveseenintheprecedingchapterhowunknownaspirantsinonefieldoranotherwerealwaysseekingtobenefitbyMarkTwain”sreputation。

Onceheremarked，“Thesymbolofthehumanraceoughttobeanax；everyhumanbeinghasoneconcealedabouthimsomewhere。”Hedeclaredwhenastrangercalledonhim，orwrotetohim，inninecasesoutoftenhecoulddistinguishthegleamoftheaxalmostimmediately。Thefollowingletteriscloselyrelatedtothoseoftheforegoingchapter，onlythatthisonewasmailed——notonce，butmanytimes，insomeformadaptedtothespecificapplicant。Itdoesnotmattertowhomitwasoriginallywritten，thenamewouldnotberecognized。

ToMrs。T。Concerningunearnedcredentials，etc。

HARTFORD，1887。

MYDEARMADAM，——Itisanideawhichmanypeoplehavehad，butitisofnovalue。Ihaveseenittriedoutmanyandmanyatime。IhaveseenaladylecturerurgedandurgeduponthepublicinalavishlycomplimentarydocumentsignedbyLongfellow，Whittier，Holmesandsomeothersofsupremecelebrity，but——therewasnothinginherandshefailed。Iftherehadbeenanygreatmeritinhersheneverwouldhaveneededthosemen”shelpand(atherrathermatureage，)wouldneverhaveconsentedtoaskforit。

Thereisanunwrittenlawabouthumansuccesses，andyoursistermustbowtothatlaw，shemustsubmittoitsrequirements。Inbriefthislawis：

1。Nooccupationwithoutanapprenticeship。

2。Nopaytotheapprentice。

ThislawstandsrightinthewayofthesubalternwhowantstobeaGeneralbeforehehassmeltpowder；anditstands(andshouldstand)ineverybody”swaywhoappliesforpayorpositionbeforehehasservedhisapprenticeshipandprovedhimself。Yoursister”scourseisperfectlyplain。LetherenclosethislettertoMaj。J。B。Pond，andoffertolectureayearfor$10aweekandherexpenses，thecontracttobeannullablebyhimatanytime，afteramonth”snotice，butnotannullablebyheratall。Thesecondyear，hetohaveherservices，ifhewantsthem，atatrifleunderthebestpriceofferedherbyanybodyelse。

Shecanlearnhertradeinthosetwoyears，andthenbeentitledtoremuneration——butshecannotlearnitinanylesstimethanthat，unlesssheisahumanmiracle。

Tryit，anddonotbeafraid。Itisthefairandrightthing。Ifshewins，shewillwinsquarelyandrighteously，andneverhavetoblush。

Trulyyours，S。L。CLEMENS。

Howellswrote，inFebruary，offeringtogetapublishertotaketheLibraryofHumoroffMarkTwain”shands。Howellshadbeenpaidtwenty-sixhundreddollarsfortheworkonit，andhisconsciencehurthimwhenhereflectedthatthebookmightneverbeused。InthisletterhealsoreferstooneofthedisastrousinventionsinwhichClemenshadinvested——amethodofcastingbrassdiesforstampingbook-coversandwall-paper。Howells”spurposewastointroducesomethingofthematterintohisnextstory。MarkTwain”sreplygivesusalightonthisparticularinvention。

HARTFORD，Feb。15，”87。

DEARHOWELLS，——IwasinNewYorkfivedaysago，andWebstermentionedtheLibrary，andproposedtopublishitayearorayearandhalfhence。

Ihavewrittenhimyourpropositionto-day。(TheLibraryispartofthepropertyoftheC。L。W。&Co。firm。)

Idon”trememberwhatthattechnicalphrasewas，butIthinkyouwillfinditinanyCyclopediaundertheheadof“Brass。”ThethingIbestrememberis，thattheself-styled“inventor“hadaveryingeniouswayofkeepingmefromseeinghimapplyhisinvention：thefirstappointmentwasspoiledbyhisburningdowntheman”sshopinwhichitwastobedone，thenightbefore；thesecondwasspoiledbyhisburningdownhisownshopthenightbefore。Heunquestionablydidbothofthesethings。Hereallyhadnoinvention；thewholeprojectwasablackmailingswindle，andcostmeseveralthousanddollars。

TheslipyousentmefromtheMay“Study“hasdelightedMrs。Clemensandmetothemarrow。Tothinkthatthingmightbepossibletomany；buttobebraveenoughtosayitispossibletoyouonly，Icertainlybelieve。

ThelongerIlivetheclearerIperceivehowunmatchable，howunapproachable，acomplimentonepayswhenhesaysofaman“hehasthecourage(toutter)hisconvictions。”Haven”tyouhadreviewerstalkAlpstoyou，andthenprintpotatohills？

Ihaven”tasgoodanopinionofmyworkasyouholdofit，butI”vealwaysdonewhatIcouldtosecureandenlargemygoodopinionofit。

I”vealwayssaidtomyself，“Everybodyreadsitandthat”ssomething——itsurelyisn”tpernicious，orthemostacceptablepeoplewouldgetprettytiredofit。”Andwhenacriticsaidbyimplicationthatitwasn”thighandfine，throughtheremark“Highandfineliteratureiswine“I

retorted(confidentially，tomyself，)“yes，highandfineliteratureiswine，andmineisonlywater；buteverybodylikeswater。”

Youdidn”ttellmetoreturnthatproof-slip，soIhavepasteditintomyprivatescrap-book。Nonewillseeitthere。Withathousandthanks。

YsEverMARK。

Ournextletterisanunmailedanswer，butitdoesnotbelongwiththeothers，havingbeenwithheldforreasonsofquiteadifferentsort。JeanetteGilder，thenoftheCritic，wasoneofMarkTwain”svaluedfriends。Inthecommentwhichhemade，whenitwasshowntohimtwenty-twoyearslater，hetellsuswhyhethinksthisletterwasnotsent。Thename，“Rest-and-be-Thankful，“wastheofficialtitlegiventothesummerplaceatElmira，butitwasmoreoftenknownas“QuarryFarm。”

ToJeannetteGilder(notmailed)：

HARTFORD，May14，”87。

MYDEARMISSGILDER，——Weshallspendthesummeratthesameoldplace-theremotefarmcalled“Rest-and-be-Thankful，“ontopofthehillsthreemilesfromElmira，N。Y。Yourotherquestionishardertoanswer。Itismyhabittokeepfourorfivebooksinprocessoferectionallthetime，andeverysummeraddafewcoursesofbrickstotwoorthreeofthem；butIcannotforecastwhichofthetwoorthreeitisgoingtobe。Ittakessevenyearstocompleteabookbythismethod，butstillitisagoodmethod：givesthepublicarest。Ihavebeenaccusedof“rushingintoprint“prematurely，movedtheretobygreedinessformoney；butintruthIhaveneverdonethat。Doyoucarefortriflesofinformation？(Well，then，“TomSawyer“and“ThePrinceandthePauper“wereeachonthestockstwoorthreeyears，and“OldTimesontheMississippi“eight。

Oneofmyunfinishedbookshasbeenonthestockssixteenyears；anotherseventeen。Thislatterbookcouldhavebeenfinishedinaday，atanytimeduringthepastfiveyears。ButasinthefirstofthesetwonarrativesalltheactiontakesplaceinNoah”sark，andasintheothertheactiontakesplaceinheaven，thereseemedtobenohurry，andsoI

havenothurried。Talesofstirringadventureinthoselocalitiesdonotneedtoberushedtopublicationlesttheygetstalebywaiting。Intwenty-oneyears，withallmytimeatmyfreedisposalIhavewrittenandcompletedonlyelevenbooks，whereaswithhalfthelaborthatajournalistdoesIcouldhavewrittensixtyinthattime。Idonotgreatlymindbeingaccusedofaproclivityforrushingintoprint，butatthesametimeIdon”tbelievethatthechargeisreallywellfounded。

SupposeIdidwriteelevenbooks，haveyounothingtobegratefulfor？

Goto——remembertheforty-ninewhichIdidn”twrite。

TrulyYoursS。L。CLEMENS。

Notes(addedtwenty-twoyearslater)：

Stormfield，April30，1909。Itseemstheletterwasnotsent。I

probablyfearedshemightprintit，andIcouldn”tfindawaytosaysowithoutrunningariskofhurtingher。NoonewouldhurtJeannetteGilderpurposely，andnoonewouldwanttoruntheriskofdoingitunintentionally。Sheismyneighbor，sixmilesaway，now，andImustaskheraboutthisancientletter。

InotewithprideandpleasurethatItoldnountruthsinmyunsentanswer。Istillhavethehabitofkeepingunfinishedbookslyingaroundyearsandyears，waiting。Ihavefourorfivenovelsonhandatpresentinahalf-finishedcondition，anditismorethanthreeyearssinceI

havelookedatanyofthem。Ihavenointentionoffinishingthem。

Icouldcompletealloftheminlessthanayear，iftheimpulseshouldcomepowerfullyuponme：Long，longagomoney-necessityfurnishedthatimpulseonce，(“FollowingtheEquator“)，butmeredesireformoneyhasneverfurnishedit，sofarasIremember。Notevenmoney-necessitywasabletoovercomemeonacoupleofoccasionswhenperhapsIoughttohaveallowedittosucceed。WhileIwasabankruptandindebttwooffersweremademeforweeklyliterarycontributionstocontinueduringayear，andtheywouldhavemadeadebtlessmanofme，butIdeclinedthem，withmywife”sfullapproval，forIhadknownofnoinstancewhereamanhadpumpedhimselfoutonceaweekandfailedtorun“emptyings“beforetheyearwasfinished。

Astothat“Noah”sArk“book，IbeganitinEdinburghin1873；——[Thisisnotquitecorrect。The“Noah”sArk“bookwasbeguninBuffaloin1870。]

Idon”tknowwherethemanuscriptisnow。ItwasaDiary，whichprofessedtobetheworkofShem，butwasn”t。Ibeganitagainseveralmonthsago，butonlyforrecreation；Ihadn”tanyintentionofcarryingittoafinish——oreventotheendofthefirstchapter，infact。

Astothebookwhoseaction“takesplaceinHeaven。”Thatwasasmallthing，(“CaptainStormfield”sVisittoHeaven。”)Itlayinmypigeon-

holes40years，thenItookitoutandprinteditinHarper”sMonthlylastyear。

S。L。C。

Inthenextletterwegetaprettyandpeacefulpictureof“Rest-and-be-

Thankful。”ThesewereMarkTwain”sbalmydays。Thefinancialdrainofthetype-machinewasheavybutnotyetexhausting，andtheprospectofvastreturnsfromitseemedtogrowbrightereachday。Hispublishingbusiness，thoughlessprofitable，wasstillprosperous，hisfamilylifewasideal。Howgratefully，then，hecouldenterintothepeaceofthat“perfectday。”

ToMrs。OrionClemens，inKeokuk，Ia。：

ONTHEHILLNEARELMIRA，July10，”87。

DEARMOLLIE，——ThisisasuperbSundayforweather——verycloudy，andthethermometeraslowas65。Thecityinthevalleyispurplewithshade，asseenfromuphereatthestudy。TheCranesarereadingandloafinginthecanvas-curtainedsummer-house50yardsawayonahigher(thehighest)

point；thecatsareloafingoverat“Ellerslie“whichisthechildren”sestateanddwellinghouseintheirownprivategrounds(bydeedfromSusieCrane)ahundredyardsfromthestudy，amongstthecloverandyoungoaksandwillows。Livyisdownatthehouse，butIshallnowgoandbringheruptotheCranestohelpusoccupytheloungesandhammocks——whenceagreatpanoramaofdistanthillandvalleyandcityisseeable。Thechildrenhavegoneonalarkthroughtheneighboringhillsandwoods。

Itisaperfectdayindeed。

Withlovetoyouall。

SAM。

Twodaysafterthisletterwaswrittenwegetahintofwhatwasthebeginningofbusinesstrouble——thatistosay，ofthefailinghealthofCharlesL。Webster。Websterwasambitious，nervous，andnotrobust。

Hehadoverworkedandwaspayingthepenalty。Histroublewasneurasthenia，andhewaspresentlyobligedtoretirealtogetherfromthebusiness。The“SamandMary“mentionedwereSamuelMoffetandhiswife。

ToMrs。PamelaMoffett，inFredonia，N。Y。

ELMIRA，July12，”87

MYDEARSISTER，——IhadnoideathatCharley”scasewassoserious。

Iknewitwasbad，andpersistent，butIwasnotawareofthefullsizeofthematter。

IhavejustbeenwritingtoafriendinHartford”whotreatedwhatI

imaginewasasimilarcasesurgicallylastfall，andproducedapermanentcure。Ifthisisalikecase，Charleymustgotohim。

Ifrelieffailsthere，hemusttaketherequiredrest，whetherthebusinesscanstanditornot。

ItismostpleasanttohearsuchprosperousaccountsofSamandMary，IdonotseehowSamcouldwellbemoreadvantageouslyfixed。Hecangrowupwiththatpaper，andachieveasuccessfullife。

ItisnotallholidayherewithSusieandClarathistime。Theyhavetoputinsomelittletimeeverydayontheirstudies。Jeanthinkssheisstudyingtoo，butIdon”tknowwhatitisunlessitisthehorses；shespendsthedayundertheirheelsinthestables——andthatisbutacontinuationofherHartfordsystemofculture。

Withlovefromusalltoyouall。

AffectionatelySAM。

MarkTwainhadafewbooksthathereadregularlyeveryyearortwo。

Amongthesewere”Pepys”sDiary”，Suetonius”s”LivesoftheTwelveCaesars”，andThomasCarlyle”s”FrenchRevolution”。Hehadapassionforhistory，biography，andpersonalmemoirsofanysort。Inhisearlylifehehadcaredverylittleforpoetry，butalonginthemiddleeightieshesomehowacquiredatasteforBrowningandbecameabsorbedinit。

ABrowningclubassembledasoftenasonceaweekattheClemenshomeinHartfordtolistentohisreadingsofthemaster。Hewasanimpressivereader，andhecarefullypreparedhimselffortheseoccasions，indicatingbygraduatedunderscorings，theexactvalueshewishedtogivetowordsandphrases。Thosewerememorablegatherings，andtheymusthavecontinuedthroughatleasttwowinters。ItisoneofthepuzzlingphasesofMarkTwain”scharacterthat，notwithstandinghispassionfordirectandlucidexpression，heshouldhavefoundpleasureinthepoemsofRobertBrowning。

ToW。D。Howells，inBoston：

ELMIRA，Aug。22，”87。

MYDEARHOWELLS，——Howstunningarethechangeswhichagemakesinamanwhilehesleeps。WhenIfinishedCarlyle”sFrenchRevolutionin1871，IwasaGirondin；everytimeIhavereaditsince，Ihavereaditdifferentlybeinginfluencedandchanged，littlebylittle，bylifeandenvironment(andTaineandSt。Simon)：andnowIlaythebookdownoncemore，andrecognizethatIamaSansculotte！——Andnotapale，characterlessSansculotte，butaMarat。Carlyleteachesnosuchgospelsothechangeisinme——inmyvisionoftheevidences。

PeoplepretendthattheBiblemeansthesametothemat50thatitdidatallformermilestonesintheirjourney。Iwonderhowtheycanlieso。

Itcomesofpractice，nodoubt。TheywouldnotsaythatofDickens”sorScott”sbooks。Nothingremainsthesame。Whenamangoesbacktolookatthehouseofhischildhood，ithasalwaysshrunk：thereisnoinstanceofsuchahousebeingasbigasthepictureinmemoryandimaginationcallfor。Shrunkhow？Why，toitscorrectdimensions：thehousehasn”taltered；thisisthefirsttimeithasbeeninfocus。

Well，that”sloss。TohavehouseandBibleshrinkso，underthedisillusioningcorrectedangle，isloss-foramoment。Buttherearecompensations。Youtiltthetubeskywardandbringplanetsandcometsandcoronaflamesahundredandfiftythousandmileshighintothefield。

WhichIseeyouhavedone，andfoundTolstoi。Ihaven”tgothiminfocusyet，butI”vegotBrowning……

YsEverMARK。

MentionhasbeenmadealreadyofMarkTwain”stendencytoabsentmindedness。Hewasalwaysforgettingengagements，orgettingthemwrong。Oncehehurriedtoanafternoonparty，andfindingthemistressofthehousealone，satdownandtalkedtohercomfortablyforanhourortwo，notrememberinghiserrandatall。Itwasonlywhenhereachedhomethathelearnedthatthepartyhadtakenplacetheweekbefore。Itwasalwaysdangerousforhimtomakeengagements，andheneverseemedtoprofitbysorrowfulexperience。

We，however，mayprofitnowbyoneofhisamusingapologies。