第1章
CHAPTERI-THEBEADLE。THEPARISHENGINE。THESCHOOLMASTER。
Howmuchisconveyedinthosetwoshortwords-’TheParish！’，And，withhowmanytalesofdistressandmisery，ofbrokenfortuneand，ruinedhopes，toooftenofunrelievedwretchednessandsuccessful，knavery，aretheyassociated！，Apoorman，withsmallearnings，and，alargefamily，justmanagestoliveonfromhandtomouth，andto，procurefoodfromdaytoday;hehasbarelysufficienttosatisfy，thepresentcravingsofnature，andcantakenoheedofthefuture。
Histaxesareinarrear，quarter-daypassesby，anotherquarter-day，arrives：，hecanprocurenomorequarterforhimself，andis，summonedby-theparish。Hisgoodsaredistrained，hischildren，arecryingwithcoldandhunger，andtheverybedonwhichhissick，wifeislying，isdraggedfrombeneathher。Whatcanhedo？，To，whomishetoapplyforrelief？，Toprivatecharity？，Tobenevolent，individuals？，Certainlynot-thereishisparish。Therearethe，parishvestry，theparishinfirmary，theparishsurgeon，theparish，officers，theparishbeadle。Excellentinstitutions，andgentle，kind-heartedmen。Thewomandies-sheisburiedbytheparish。
Thechildrenhavenoprotector-theyaretakencareofbythe，parish。Themanfirstneglects，andafterwardscannotobtain，work，-heisrelievedbytheparish;andwhendistressanddrunkenness，havedonetheirworkuponhim，heismaintained，aharmless，babblingidiot，intheparishasylum。
Theparishbeadleisoneofthemost，perhapsTHEmost，important，memberof，thelocaladministration。Heisnotsowelloffasthe，churchwardens，certainly，norishesolearnedasthevestry-clerk，nordoesheorderthingsquitesomuchhisownwayaseitherof，them。Buthispowerisverygreat，notwithstanding;andthe，dignityofhisofficeisneverimpairedbytheabsenceofefforts，onhisparttomaintainit。Thebeadleofourparishisasplendid，fellow。Itisquitedelightfultohearhim，asheexplainsthe，stateoftheexistingpoorlawstothedeafoldwomenintheboard-
roompassageonbusinessnights;andtohearwhathesaidtothe，seniorchurchwarden，andwhattheseniorchurchwardensaidtohim;
andwhat’we’(thebeadleandtheothergentlemen)cametothe，determinationofdoing。Amiserable-lookingwomaniscalledinto，theboardroom，andrepresentsacaseofextremedestitution，affectingherself-awidow，withsixsmallchildren。’Wheredo，youlive？’inquiresoneoftheoverseers。’Irentsatwo-pair，back，gentlemen，atMrs。Brown’s，Number3，LittleKingWilliam’s-
alley，whichhaslivedtherethisfifteenyear，andknowsmetobe，veryhard-workingandindustrious，andwhenmypoorhusbandwas，alive，gentlemen，asdiedinthehospital’-’Well，well，’
interruptstheoverseer，takinganoteoftheaddress，’I’llsend，Simmons，thebeadle，to-morrowmorning，toascertainwhetheryour，storyiscorrect;andifso，Isupposeyoumusthaveanorderinto，theHouse-Simmons，gotothiswoman’sthefirstthingto-morrow，morning，willyou？’，Simmonsbowsassent，andushersthewomanout。
Herpreviousadmirationof’theboard’(whoallsitbehindgreat，books，andwiththeirhatson)fadesintonothingbeforeher，respectforherlace-trimmedconductor;andheraccountofwhathas，passedinside，increases-ifthatbepossible-themarksof，respect，shownbytheassembledcrowd，tothatsolemnfunctionary。
Astotakingoutasummons，it’squiteahopelesscaseifSimmons，attendsit，onbehalfoftheparish。Heknowsallthetitlesof，theLordMayorbyheart;statesthecasewithoutasinglestammer：
anditisevenreportedthatononeoccasionheventuredtomakea，joke，whichtheLordMayor’sheadfootman(whohappenedtobe，present)afterwardstoldanintimatefriend，confidentially，was，almostequaltooneofMr。Hobler’s。
SeehimagainonSundayinhisstate-coatandcocked-hat，witha，large-headedstaffforshowinhislefthand，andasmallcanefor，useinhisright。Howpompouslyhemarshalsthechildreninto，theirplaces！andhowdemurelythelittleurchinslookathim，askanceashesurveysthemwhentheyareallseated，withaglare，oftheeyepeculiartobeadles！Thechurchwardensandoverseers，beingdulyinstalledintheircurtainedpews，heseatshimselfona，mahoganybracket，erectedexpresslyforhimatthetopofthe，aisle，anddivideshisattentionbetweenhisprayer-bookandthe，boys。Suddenly，justatthecommencementofthecommunionservice，whenthewholecongregationishushedintoaprofoundsilence，brokenonlybythevoiceoftheofficiatingclergyman，apennyis，heardtoringonthestoneflooroftheaislewithastounding，clearness。Observethegeneralshipofthebeadle。Hisinvoluntary，lookofhorrorisinstantlychangedintooneofperfect，indifference，asifheweretheonlypersonpresentwhohadnot，heardthenoise。Theartificesucceeds。Afterputtingforthhis，rightlegnowandthen，asafeeler，thevictimwhodroppedthe，moneyventurestomakeoneortwodistinctdivesafterit;andthe，beadle，glidingsoftlyround，saluteshislittleroundhead，when，itagainappearsabovetheseat，withdiversdoubleknocks，administeredwiththecanebeforenoticed，totheintensedelight，ofthreeyoungmeninanadjacentpew，whocoughviolentlyat，intervalsuntiltheconclusionofthesermon。
Suchareafewtraitsoftheimportanceandgravityofaparish，beadle-agravitywhichhasneverbeendisturbedinanycasethat，hascomeunderourobservation，exceptwhentheservicesofthat，particularlyusefulmachine，aparishfire-engine，arerequired：
thenindeedallisbustle。Twolittleboysruntothebeadleas，fastastheirlegswillcarrythem，andreportfromtheirown，personalobservationthatsomeneighbouringchimneyisonfire;the，engineishastilygotout，andaplentifulsupplyofboysbeing，obtained，andharnessedtoitwithropes，awaytheyrattleoverthe，pavement，thebeadle，running-wedonotexaggerate-runningat，theside，untiltheyarriveatsomehouse，smellingstronglyof，soot，atthedoorofwhichthebeadleknockswithconsiderable，gravityforhalf-an-hour。Noattentionbeingpaidtothesemanual，applications，andtheturn-cockhavingturnedonthewater，the，engineturnsoffamidsttheshoutsoftheboys;itpullsuponce，moreatthework-house，andthebeadle’pullsup’theunfortunate，householdernextday，fortheamountofhislegalreward。Wenever，sawaparishengineataregularfirebutonce。Itcameupin，gallantstyle-threemilesandahalfanhour，atleast;therewas，acapitalsupplyofwater，anditwasfirstonthespot。Bangwent，thepumps-thepeoplecheered-thebeadleperspiredprofusely;
butitwasunfortunatelydiscovered，justastheyweregoingtoput，thefireout，thatnobodyunderstoodtheprocessbywhichthe，enginewasfilledwithwater;andthateighteenboys，andaman，hadexhaustedthemselvesinpumpingfortwentyminutes，without，producingtheslightesteffect！
Thepersonagesnextinimportancetothebeadle，arethemasterof，theworkhouseandtheparishschoolmaster。Thevestry-clerk，as，everybodyknows，isashort，pudgylittleman，inblack，witha，thickgoldwatch-chainofconsiderablelength，terminatingintwo，largesealsandakey。Heisanattorney，andgenerallyina，bustle;atnotimemoreso，thanwhenheishurryingtosome，parochialmeeting，withhisglovescrumpledupinonehand，anda，largeredbookundertheotherarm。Astothechurchwardensand，overseers，weexcludethemaltogether，becauseallweknowofthem，is，thattheyareusuallyrespectabletradesmen，whowearhatswith，brimsinclinedtoflatness，andwhooccasionallytestifyingilt，lettersonablueground，insomeconspicuouspartofthechurch，totheimportantfactofagalleryhavingbeingenlargedand，beautified，oranorganrebuilt。
Themasteroftheworkhouseisnot，inourparish-norishe，usuallyinanyother-oneofthatclassofmenthebetterpartof，whoseexistencehaspassedaway，andwhodragouttheremainderin，someinferiorsituation，withjustenoughthoughtofthepast，to，feeldegradedby，anddiscontentedwiththepresent。Weareunable，toguesspreciselytoourownsatisfactionwhatstationthemancan，haveoccupiedbefore;weshouldthinkhehadbeenaninferiorsort，ofattorney’sclerk，orelsethemasterofanationalschool-
whateverhewas，itisclearhispresentpositionisachangefor，thebetter。Hisincomeissmallcertainly，astherustyblackcoat，andthreadbarevelvetcollardemonstrate：，butthenhelivesfree，ofhouse-rent，hasalimitedallowanceofcoalsandcandles，andan，almostunlimitedallowanceofauthorityinhispettykingdom。He，isatall，thin，bonyman;alwayswearsshoesandblackcotton，stockingswithhissurtout;andeyesyou，asyoupasshisparlour-
window，asifhewishedyouwereapauper，justtogiveyoua，specimenofhispower。Heisanadmirablespecimenofasmall，tyrant：，morose，brutish，andill-tempered;bullyingtohis，inferiors，cringingtohissuperiors，andjealousoftheinfluence，andauthorityofthebeadle。
Ourschoolmasterisjusttheveryreverseofthisamiableofficial。
Hehasbeenoneofthosemenoneoccasionallyhearsof，onwhom，misfortuneseemstohavesethermark;nothingheeverdid，orwas，concernedin，appearstohaveprospered。Aricholdrelationwho，hadbroughthimup，andopenlyannouncedhisintentionofproviding，forhim，lefthim10，000L。inhiswill，andrevokedthebequestin，acodicil。Thusunexpectedlyreducedtothenecessityofproviding，forhimself，heprocuredasituationinapublicoffice。Theyoung，clerksbelowhim，diedoffasiftherewereaplagueamongthem;
buttheoldfellowsoverhishead，forthereversionofwhose，placeshewasanxiouslywaiting，livedonandon，asiftheywere，immortal。Hespeculatedandlost。Hespeculatedagainandwon-
butnevergothismoney。Histalentsweregreat;hisdisposition，easy，generousandliberal。Hisfriendsprofitedbytheone，and，abusedtheother。Losssucceededloss;misfortunecrowdedon，misfortune;eachsuccessivedaybroughthimnearerthevergeof，hopelesspenury，andthequondamfriendswhohadbeenwarmestin，theirprofessions，grewstrangelycoldandindifferent。Hehad，childrenwhomheloved，andawifeonwhomhedoted。Theformer，turnedtheirbacksonhim;thelatterdiedbroken-hearted。Hewent，withthestream-ithadeverbeenhisfailing，andhehadnot，couragesufficienttobearupagainstsomanyshocks-hehadnever，caredforhimself，andtheonlybeingwhohadcaredforhim，inhis，povertyanddistress，wassparedtohimnolonger。Itwasatthis，periodthatheappliedforparochialrelief。Somekind-heartedman，whohadknownhiminhappiertimes，chancedtobechurchwardenthat，year，andthroughhisinteresthewasappointedtohispresent，situation。
Heisanoldmannow。Ofthemanywhooncecrowdedroundhimin，allthehollowfriendshipofboon-companionship，somehavedied，somehavefallenlikehimself，somehaveprospered-allhave，forgottenhim。Timeandmisfortunehavemercifullybeenpermitted，toimpairhismemory，andusehashabituatedhimtohispresent，condition。Meek，uncomplaining，andzealousinthedischargeof，hisduties，hehasbeenallowedtoholdhissituationlongbeyond，theusualperiod;andhewillnodoubtcontinuetoholdit，until，infirmityrendershimincapable，ordeathreleaseshim。Asthe，grey-headedoldmanfeeblypacesupanddownthesunnysideofthe，littlecourt-yardbetweenschoolhours，itwouldbedifficult，indeed，forthemostintimateofhisformerfriendstorecognise，theironcegayandhappyassociate，inthepersonofthePauper，Schoolmaster。
CHAPTERII-THECURATE。THEOLDLADY。THEHALF-PAYCAPTAIN
Wecommencedourlastchapterwiththebeadleofourparish，becausewearedeeplysensibleoftheimportanceanddignityofhis，office。Wewillbeginthepresent，withtheclergyman。Ourcurate，isayounggentlemanofsuchprepossessingappearance，and，fascinatingmanners，thatwithinonemonthafterhisfirst，appearanceintheparish，halftheyoung-ladyinhabitantswere，melancholywithreligion，andtheotherhalf，despondingwithlove。
NeverweresomanyyoungladiesseeninourparishchurchonSunday，before;andneverhadthelittleroundangels’facesonMr。
Tomkins’smonumentinthesideaisle，beheldsuchdevotiononearth，astheyallexhibited。Hewasaboutfive-and-twentywhenhefirst，cametoastonishtheparishioners。Hepartedhishaironthe，centreofhisforeheadintheformofaNormanarch，worea，brilliantofthefirstwateronthefourthfingerofhislefthand，(whichhealwaysappliedtohisleftcheekwhenhereadprayers)，andhadadeepsepulchralvoiceofunusualsolemnity。Innumerable，werethecallsmadebyprudentmammasonournewcurate，and，innumerabletheinvitationswithwhichhewasassailed，andwhich，todohimjustice，hereadilyaccepted。Ifhismannerinthe，pulpithadcreatedanimpressioninhisfavour，thesensationwas，increasedtenfold，byhisappearanceinprivatecircles。Pewsin，theimmediatevicinityofthepulpitorreading-deskroseinvalue;
sittingsinthecentreaislewereatapremium：，aninchofroomin，thefrontrowofthegallerycouldnotbeprocuredforloveor，money;andsomepeopleevenwentsofarastoassert，thatthe，threeMissBrowns，whohadanobscurefamilypewjustbehindthe，churchwardens’，weredetected，oneSunday，inthefreeseatsbythe，communion-table，actuallylyinginwaitforthecurateashepassed，tothevestry！，Hebegantopreachextemporesermons，andeven，gravepapascaughttheinfection。Hegotoutofbedathalf-past，twelveo’clockonewinter’snight，tohalf-baptiseawasherwoman’s，childinaslop-basin，andthegratitudeoftheparishionersknew，nobounds-theverychurchwardensgrewgenerous，andinsistedon，theparishdefrayingtheexpenseofthewatch-boxonwheels，which，thenewcuratehadorderedforhimself，toperformthefuneral，servicein，inwetweather。Hesentthreepintsofgruelanda，quarterofapoundofteatoapoorwomanwhohadbeenbroughtto，bedoffoursmallchildren，allatonce-theparishwerecharmed。
Hegotupasubscriptionforher-thewoman’sfortunewasmade。
Hespokeforonehourandtwenty-fiveminutes，atananti-slavery，meetingattheGoatandBoots-theenthusiasmwasatitsheight。
Aproposalwassetonfootforpresentingthecuratewithapiece，ofplate，asamarkofesteemforhisvaluableservicesrenderedto，theparish。Thelistofsubscriptionswasfilledupinnotime;
thecontestwas，notwhoshouldescapethecontribution，butwho，shouldbetheforemosttosubscribe。Asplendidsilverinkstand，wasmade，andengravedwithanappropriateinscription;thecurate，wasinvitedtoapublicbreakfast，atthebefore-mentionedGoatand，Boots;theinkstandwaspresentedinaneatspeechbyMr。Gubbins，theex-churchwarden，andacknowledgedbythecurateintermswhich，drewtearsintotheeyesofallpresent-theverywaiterswere，melted。
Onewouldhavesupposedthat，bythistime，thethemeofuniversal，admirationwasliftedtotheverypinnacleofpopularity。Nosuch，thing。Thecuratebegantocough;fourfitsofcoughingone，morningbetweentheLitanyandtheEpistle，andfiveinthe，afternoonservice。Herewasadiscovery-thecuratewas，consumptive。Howinterestinglymelancholy！，Iftheyoungladies，wereenergeticbefore，theirsympathyandsolicitudenowknewno，bounds。Suchamanasthecurate-suchadear-suchaperfect，love-tobeconsumptive！，Itwastoomuch。Anonymouspresentsof，black-currantjam，andlozenges，elasticwaistcoats，bosomfriends，andwarmstockings，pouredinuponthecurateuntilhewasas，completelyfittedoutwithwinterclothing，asifhewereonthe，vergeofanexpeditiontotheNorthPole：，verbalbulletinsofthe，stateofhishealthwerecirculatedthroughouttheparishhalf-a-
dozentimesaday;andthecuratewasintheveryzenithofhis，popularity。
Aboutthisperiod，achangecameoverthespiritoftheparish。A
veryquiet，respectable，dozingoldgentleman，whohadofficiated，inourchapel-of-easefortwelveyearspreviously，diedonefine，morning，withouthavinggivenanynoticewhateverofhisintention。
Thiscircumstancegaverisetocounter-sensationthefirst;andthe，arrivalofhissuccessoroccasionedcounter-sensationthesecond。
Hewasapale，thin，cadaverousman，withlargeblackeyes，and，longstragglingblackhair：，hisdresswasslovenlyintheextreme，hismannerungainly，hisdoctrinesstartling;inshort，hewasin，everyrespecttheantipodesofthecurate。Crowdsofourfemale，parishionersflockedtohearhim;atfirst，becausehewasSOodd-
looking，thenbecausehisfacewasSOexpressive，thenbecausehe，preachedSOwell;andatlast，becausetheyreallythoughtthat，afterall，therewassomethingabouthimwhichitwasquite，impossibletodescribe。Astothecurate，hewasallverywell;
butcertainly，afterall，therewasnodenyingthat-that-in，short，thecuratewasn’tanovelty，andtheotherclergymanwas。
Theinconstancyofpublicopinionisproverbial：，thecongregation，migratedonebyone。Thecuratecoughedtillhewasblackinthe，face-itwasinvain。Herespiredwithdifficulty-itwas，equallyineffectualinawakeningsympathy。Seatsareonceagainto，behadinanypartofourparishchurch，andthechapel-of-easeis，goingtobeenlarged，asitiscrowdedtosuffocationeverySunday！
Thebestknownandmostrespectedamongourparishioners，isanold，lady，whoresidedinourparishlongbeforeournamewasregistered，inthelistofbaptisms。Ourparishisasuburbanone，andtheold，ladylivesinaneatrowofhousesinthemostairyandpleasant，partofit。Thehouseisherown;andit，andeverythingaboutit，excepttheoldladyherself，wholooksalittleolderthanshedid，tenyearsago，isinjustthesamestateaswhentheoldgentleman，wasliving。Thelittlefrontparlour，whichistheoldlady’s，ordinarysitting-room，isaperfectpictureofquietneatness;the，carpetiscoveredwithbrownHolland，theglassandpicture-frames，arecarefullyenvelopedinyellowmuslin;thetable-coversare，nevertakenoff，exceptwhentheleavesareturpentinedandbees’-
waxed，anoperationwhichisregularlycommencedeveryother，morningathalf-pastnineo’clock-andthelittlenicknacksare，alwaysarrangedinpreciselythesamemanner。Thegreaterpartof，thesearepresentsfromlittlegirlswhoseparentsliveinthesame，row;butsomeofthem，suchasthetwoold-fashionedwatches(which，neverkeepthesametime，onebeingalwaysaquarterofanhourtoo，slow，andtheotheraquarterofanhourtoofast)，thelittle，pictureofthePrincessCharlotteandPrinceLeopoldasthey，appearedintheRoyalBoxatDruryLaneTheatre，andothersofthe，sameclass，havebeenintheoldlady’spossessionformanyyears。
Heretheoldladysitswithherspectacleson，busilyengagedin，needlework-nearthewindowinsummertime;andifsheseesyou，comingupthesteps，andyouhappentobeafavourite，shetrots，outtoopenthestreet-doorforyoubeforeyouknock，andasyou，mustbefatiguedafterthathotwalk，insistsonyourswallowing，twoglassesofsherrybeforeyouexertyourselfbytalking。Ifyou，callintheeveningyouwillfindhercheerful，butrathermore，seriousthanusual，withanopenBibleonthetable，beforeher，of，which’Sarah，’whoisjustasneatandmethodicalashermistress，regularlyreadstwoorthreechaptersintheparlouraloud。
Theoldladyseesscarcelyanycompany，exceptthelittlegirls，beforenoticed，eachofwhomhasalwaysaregularfixeddayfora，periodicaltea-drinkingwithher，towhichthechildlooksforward，asthegreatesttreatofitsexistence。Sheseldomvisitsata，greaterdistancethanthenextdoorbutoneoneitherside;and，whenshedrinksteahere，Sarahrunsoutfirstandknocksadouble-
knock，topreventthepossibilityofher’Missis’s’catchingcold，byhavingtowaitatthedoor。Sheisveryscrupulousinreturning，theselittleinvitations，andwhensheasksMr。andMrs。So-and-so，tomeetMr。andMrs。Somebody-else，Sarahandshedusttheurn，and，thebestchinatea-service，andthePopeJoanboard;andthe，visitorsarereceivedinthedrawing-roomingreatstate。Shehas，butfewrelations，andtheyarescatteredaboutindifferentparts，ofthecountry，andsheseldomseesthem。ShehasasoninIndia，whomshealwaysdescribestoyouasafine，handsomefellow-so，liketheprofileofhispoordearfatheroverthesideboard，but，theoldladyadds，withamournfulshakeofthehead，thathehas，alwaysbeenoneofhergreatesttrials;andthatindeedheonce，almostbrokeherheart;butitpleasedGodtoenablehertogetthe，betterofit，andshewouldpreferyournevermentioningthe，subjecttoheragain。Shehasagreatnumberofpensioners：，and，onSaturday，aftershecomesbackfrommarket，thereisaregular，leveeofoldmenandwomeninthepassage，waitingfortheirweekly，gratuity。Hernamealwaysheadsthelistofanybenevolent，subscriptions，andhersarealwaysthemostliberaldonationsto，theWinterCoalandSoupDistributionSociety。Shesubscribed，twentypoundstowardstheerectionofanorganinourparish，church，andwassoovercomethefirstSundaythechildrensangto，it，thatshewasobligedtobecarriedoutbythepew-opener。Her，entranceintochurchonSundayisalwaysthesignalforalittle，bustleinthesideaisle，occasionedbyageneralriseamongthe，poorpeople，whobowandcurtseyuntilthepew-openerhasushered，theoldladyintoheraccustomedseat，droppedarespectful，curtsey，andshutthedoor：，andthesameceremonyisrepeatedon，herleavingchurch，whenshewalkshomewiththefamilynextdoor，butone，andtalksaboutthesermonalltheway，invariablyopening，theconversationbyaskingtheyoungestboywherethetextwas。
Thus，withtheannualvariationofatriptosomequietplaceon，thesea-coast，passestheoldlady’slife。Ithasrolledoninthe，sameunvaryingandbenevolentcourseformanyyearsnow，andmust，atnodistantperiodbebroughttoitsfinalclose。Shelooks，forwardtoitstermination，withcalmnessandwithoutapprehension。
Shehaseverythingtohopeandnothingtofear。
Averydifferentpersonage，butonewhohasrenderedhimselfvery，conspicuousinourparish，isoneoftheoldlady’snext-door，neighbours。Heisanoldnavalofficeronhalf-pay，andhisbluff，andunceremoniousbehaviourdisturbstheoldlady’sdomestic，economy，notalittle。Inthefirstplace，heWILLsmokecigarsin，thefrontcourt，andwhenhewantssomethingtodrinkwiththem-
whichisbynomeansanuncommoncircumstance-heliftsuptheold，lady’sknockerwithhiswalking-stick，anddemandstohaveaglass，oftableale，handedovertherails。Inadditiontothiscool，proceeding，heisabitofaJackofalltrades，ortousehisown，words，’aregularRobinsonCrusoe;’andnothingdelightshimbetter，thantoexperimentaliseontheoldlady’sproperty。Onemorninghe，gotupearly，andplantedthreeorfourrootsoffull-grown，marigoldsineverybedofherfrontgarden，totheinconceivable，astonishmentoftheoldlady，whoactuallythoughtwhenshegotup，andlookedoutofthewindow，thatitwassomestrangeeruption，whichhadcomeoutinthenight。Anothertimehetooktopieces，theeight-dayclockonthefrontlanding，underpretenceof，cleaningtheworks，whichheputtogetheragain，bysome，undiscoveredprocess，insowonderfulamanner，thatthelargehand，hasdonenothingbuttripupthelittleoneeversince。Thenhe，tooktobreedingsilk-worms，whichheWOULDbringintwoorthree，timesaday，inlittlepaperboxes，toshowtheoldlady，generally，droppingawormortwoateveryvisit。Theconsequencewas，that，onemorningaverystoutsilk-wormwasdiscoveredintheactof，walkingup-stairs-probablywiththeviewofinquiringafterhis，friends，for，onfurtherinspection，itappearedthatsomeofhis，companionshadalreadyfoundtheirwaytoeveryroominthehouse。
Theoldladywenttotheseasideindespair，andduringherabsence，hecompletelyeffacedthenamefromherbrassdoor-plate，inhis，attemptstopolishitwithaqua-fortis。
Butallthisisnothingtohisseditiousconductinpubliclife。
Heattendseveryvestrymeetingthatisheld;alwaysopposesthe，constitutedauthoritiesoftheparish，denouncestheprofligacyof，thechurchwardens，contestslegalpointsagainstthevestry-clerk，willmakethetax-gatherercallforhismoneytillhewon’tcall，anylonger，andthenhesendsit：，findsfaultwiththesermon，everySunday，saysthattheorganistoughttobeashamedof，himself，offerstobackhimselfforanyamounttosingthepsalms，betterthanallthechildrenputtogether，maleandfemale;and，in，short，conductshimselfinthemostturbulentanduproarious，manner。Theworstofitis，thathavingahighregardfortheold，lady，hewantstomakeheraconverttohisviews，andtherefore，walksintoherlittleparlourwithhisnewspaperinhishand，and，talksviolentpoliticsbythehour。Heisacharitable，open-
heartedoldfellowatbottom，afterall;so，althoughheputsthe，oldladyalittleoutoccasionally，theyagreeverywellinthe，main，andshelaughsasmuchateachfeatofhishandiworkwhenit，isallover，asanybodyelse。
CHAPTERIII-THEFOURSISTERS
Therowofhousesinwhichtheoldladyandhertroublesome，neighbourreside，comprises，beyondalldoubt，agreaternumberof，characterswithinitscircumscribedlimits，thanalltherestof，theparishputtogether。Aswecannot，consistentlywithour，presentplan，however，extendthenumberofourparochialsketches，beyondsix，itwillbebetterperhaps，toselectthemostpeculiar，andtointroducethematoncewithoutfurtherpreface。
ThefourMissWillises，then，settledinourparishthirteenyears，ago。Itisamelancholyreflectionthattheoldadage，’timeand，tidewaitfornoman，’applieswithequalforcetothefairer，portionofthecreation;andwillinglywouldweconcealthefact，thateventhirteenyearsagotheMissWilliseswerefarfrom，juvenile。Ourdutyasfaithfulparochialchroniclers，however，is，paramounttoeveryotherconsideration，andweareboundtostate，thatthirteenyearssince，theauthoritiesinmatrimonialcases，consideredtheyoungestMissWillisinaveryprecariousstate，whiletheeldestsisterwaspositivelygivenover，asbeingfar，beyondallhumanhope。Well，theMissWillisestookaleaseofthe，house;itwasfreshpaintedandpaperedfromtoptobottom：，the，paintinsidewasallwainscoted，themarbleallcleaned，theold，gratestakendown，andregister-stoves，youcouldseetodressby，putup;fourtreeswereplantedinthebackgarden，severalsmall，basketsofgravelsprinkledoverthefrontone，vansofelegant，furniturearrived，springblindswerefittedtothewindows，carpenterswhohadbeenemployedinthevariouspreparations，alterations，andrepairs，madeconfidentialstatementstothe，differentmaid-servantsintherow，relativetothemagnificent，scaleonwhichtheMissWilliseswerecommencing;themaid-servants，toldtheir’Missises，’theMissisestoldtheirfriends，andvague，rumourswerecirculatedthroughouttheparish，thatNo。25，in，Gordon-place，hadbeentakenbyfourmaidenladiesofimmense，property。
Atlast，theMissWillisesmovedin;andthenthe’calling’began。
Thehousewastheperfectionofneatness-sowerethefourMiss，Willises。Everythingwasformal，stiff，andcold-sowerethe，fourMissWillises。Notasinglechairofthewholesetwasever，seenoutofitsplace-notasingleMissWillisofthewholefour，waseverseenoutofhers。Theretheyalwayssat，inthesame，places，doingpreciselythesamethingsatthesamehour。The，eldestMissWillisusedtoknit，thesecondtodraw，thetwoothers，toplayduetsonthepiano。Theyseemedtohavenoseparate，existence，buttohavemadeuptheirmindsjusttowinterthrough，lifetogether。Theywerethreelonggracesindrapery，withthe，addition，likeaschool-dinner，ofanotherlonggraceafterwards-
thethreefateswithanothersister-theSiamesetwinsmultiplied，bytwo。TheeldestMissWillisgrewbilious-thefourMiss，Willisesgrewbiliousimmediately。TheeldestMissWillisgrew，ill-temperedandreligious-thefourMissWilliseswereill-
temperedandreligiousdirectly。Whatevertheeldestdid，the，othersdid，andwhateveranybodyelsedid，theyalldisapprovedof;
andthustheyvegetated-livinginPolarharmonyamongthemselves，and，astheysometimeswentout，orsawcompany’inaquiet-way’at，home，occasionallyicingtheneighbours。Threeyearspassedover，inthisway，whenanunlookedforandextraordinaryphenomenon，occurred。TheMissWillisesshowedsymptomsofsummer，thefrost，graduallybrokeup;acompletethawtookplace。Wasitpossible？
oneofthefourMissWilliseswasgoingtobemarried！
Now，whereonearththehusbandcamefrom，bywhatfeelingsthe，poormancouldhavebeenactuated，orbywhatprocessofreasoning，thefourMissWillisessucceededinpersuadingthemselvesthatit，waspossibleforamantomarryoneofthem，withoutmarryingthem，all，arequestionstooprofoundforustoresolve：，certainitis，however，thatthevisitsofMr。Robinson(agentlemaninapublic，office，withagoodsalaryandalittlepropertyofhisown，besides)werereceived-thatthefourMissWilliseswerecourted，indueformbythesaidMrRobinson-thattheneighbourswere，perfectlyfranticintheiranxietytodiscoverwhichofthefour，MissWilliseswasthefortunatefair，andthatthedifficultythey，experiencedinsolvingtheproblemwasnotatalllessenedbythe，announcementoftheeldestMissWillis，-’WEaregoingtomarry，Mr。Robinson。’
Itwasveryextraordinary。Theyweresocompletelyidentified，the，onewiththeother，thatthecuriosityofthewholerow-evenof，theoldladyherself-wasrousedalmostbeyondendurance。The，subjectwasdiscussedateverylittlecard-tableandtea-drinking。
Theoldgentlemanofsilk-wormnotorietydidnothesitateto，expresshisdecidedopinionthatMr。RobinsonwasofEastern，descent，andcontemplatedmarryingthewholefamilyatonce;and，therow，generally，shooktheirheadswithconsiderablegravity，anddeclaredthebusinesstobeverymysterious。Theyhopedit，mightallendwell;-itcertainlyhadaverysingularappearance，butstillitwouldbeuncharitabletoexpressanyopinionwithout，goodgroundstogoupon，andcertainlytheMissWilliseswereQUITE
oldenoughtojudgeforthemselves，andtobesurepeopleoughtto，knowtheirownbusinessbest，andsoforth。
Atlast，onefinemorning，ataquarterbeforeeighto’clock，A。M。，twoglass-coachesdroveuptotheMissWillises’door，atwhichMr。
Robinsonhadarrivedinacabtenminutesbefore，dressedina，light-bluecoatanddouble-milledkerseypantaloons，white，neckerchief，pumps，anddress-gloves，hismannerdenoting，as，appearedfromtheevidenceofthehousemaidatNo。23，whowas，sweepingthedoor-stepsatthetime，aconsiderabledegreeof，nervousexcitement。Itwasalsohastilyreportedonthesame，testimony，thatthecookwhoopenedthedoor，worealargewhite，bowofunusualdimensions，inamuchsmarterhead-dressthanthe，regulationcaptowhichtheMissWillisesinvariablyrestrictedthe，somewhatexcursivetastesoffemaleservantsingeneral。
Theintelligencespreadrapidlyfromhousetohouse。Itwasquite，clearthattheeventfulmorninghadatlengtharrived;thewhole，rowstationedthemselvesbehindtheirfirstandsecondfloor，blinds，andwaitedtheresultinbreathlessexpectation。
AtlasttheMissWillises’dooropened;thedoorofthefirst，glass-coachdidthesame。Twogentlemen，andapairofladiesto，correspond-friendsofthefamily，nodoubt;upwentthesteps，bangwentthedoor，offwentthefirstclass-coach，andupcamethe，second。
Thestreetdooropenedagain;theexcitementofthewholerow，increased-Mr。RobinsonandtheeldestMissWillis。’Ithought，so，’saidtheladyatNo。19;’IalwayssaiditwasMISSWillis！’-
’Well，Inever！’ejaculatedtheyoungladyatNo。18totheyoung，ladyatNo。17-’Didyouever，dear！’respondedtheyoungladyat，No。17totheyoungladyatNo。18。’It’stooridiculous！’
exclaimedaspinsterofanUNcertainage，atNo。16，joininginthe，conversation。ButwhoshallportraytheastonishmentofGordon-
place，whenMr。RobinsonhandedinALLtheMissWillises，oneafter，theother，andthensqueezedhimselfintoanacuteangleofthe，glass-coach，whichforthwithproceededatabriskpace，afterthe，otherglass-coach，whichotherglass-coachhaditselfproceeded，at，abriskpace，inthedirectionoftheparishchurch！，Whoshall，depicttheperplexityoftheclergyman，whenALLtheMissWillises，kneltdownatthecommunion-table，andrepeatedtheresponses，incidentaltothemarriageserviceinanaudiblevoice-orwho，shalldescribetheconfusionwhichprevailed，when-evenafterthe，difficultiesthusoccasionedhadbeenadjusted-ALLtheMiss，Williseswentintohystericsattheconclusionoftheceremony，untilthesacrededificeresoundedwiththeirunitedwailings！
AsthefoursistersandMr。Robinsoncontinuedtooccupythesame，houseafterthismemorableoccasion，andasthemarriedsister，whoevershewas，neverappearedinpublicwithouttheotherthree，wearenotquiteclearthattheneighbourseverwouldhave，discoveredtherealMrs。Robinson，butforacircumstanceofthe，mostgratifyingdescription，whichWILLhappenoccasionallyinthe，best-regulatedfamilies。Threequarter-dayselapsed，andtherow，onwhomanewlightappearedtohavebeenburstingforsometime，begantospeakwithasortofimpliedconfidenceonthesubject，andtowonderhowMrs。Robinson-theyoungestMissWillisthatwas，-goton;andservantsmightbeseenrunningupthesteps，about，nineorteno’clockeverymorning，with’Missis’scompliments，and，wishestoknowhowMrs。Robinsonfindsherselfthismorning？’，And，theansweralwayswas，’Mrs。Robinson’scompliments，andshe’sin，verygoodspirits，anddoesn’tfindherselfanyworse。’，Thepiano，washeardnolonger，theknitting-needleswerelaidaside，drawing，wasneglected，andmantua-makingandmillinery，onthesmallest，scaleimaginable，appearedtohavebecomethefavouriteamusement，ofthewholefamily。Theparlourwasn’tquiteastidyasitused，tobe，andifyoucalledinthemorning，youwouldseelyingona，table，withanoldnewspapercarelesslythrownoverthem，twoor，threeparticularlysmallcaps，ratherlargerthaniftheyhadbeen，madeforamoderate-sizeddoll，withasmallpieceoflace，inthe，shapeofahorse-shoe，letinbehind：，orperhapsawhiterobe，not，verylargeincircumference，butverymuchoutofproportionin，pointoflength，withalittletuckerroundthetop，andafrill，roundthebottom;andoncewhenwecalled，wesawalongwhite，roller，withakindofbluemargindowneachside，theprobableuse，ofwhich，wewereatalosstoconjecture。Thenwefanciedthat，Dr。Dawson，thesurgeon，&c。whodisplaysalargelampwitha，differentcolourineverypaneofglass，atthecorneroftherow，begantobeknockedupatnightoftenerthanheusedtobe;and，oncewewereverymuchalarmedbyhearingahackney-coachstopat，Mrs。Robinson’sdoor，athalf-pasttwoo’clockinthemorning，out，ofwhichthereemergedafatoldwoman，inacloakandnight-cap，withabundleinonehand，andapairofpattensintheother，who，lookedasifshehadbeensuddenlyknockedupoutofbedforsome，veryspecialpurpose。
Whenwegotupinthemorningwesawthattheknockerwastiedup，inanoldwhitekidglove;andwe，inourinnocence(wewereina，stateofbachelorshipthen)，wonderedwhatonearthitallmeant，untilweheardtheeldestMissWillis，INPROPRIAPERSONAsay，with，greatdignity，inanswertothenextinquiry，’MYcompliments，and，Mrs。Robinson’sdoingaswellascanbeexpected，andthelittle，girlthriveswonderfully。’，Andthen，incommonwiththerestof，therow，ourcuriositywassatisfied，andwebegantowonderithad，neveroccurredtouswhatthematterwas，before。
CHAPTERIV-THEELECTIONFORBEADLE
Agreateventhasrecentlyoccurredinourparish。Acontestof，paramountinteresthasjustterminated;aparochialconvulsionhas，takenplace。Ithasbeensucceededbyaglorioustriumph，which，thecountry-oratleasttheparish-itisallthesame-will，longremember。Wehavehadanelection;anelectionforbeadle。
Thesupportersoftheoldbeadlesystemhavebeendefeatedintheir，stronghold，andtheadvocatesofthegreatnewbeadleprinciples，haveachievedaproudvictory。
Ourparish，which，likeallotherparishes，isalittleworldof，itsown，haslongbeendividedintotwoparties，whosecontentions，slumberingforawhile，haveneverfailedtoburstforthwith，unabatedvigour，onanyoccasiononwhichtheycouldbypossibility，berenewed。Watching-rates，lighting-rates，paving-rates，sewer’s-
rates，church-rates，poor’s-rates-allsortsofrates，havebeen，intheirturnsthesubjectsofagrandstruggle;andasto，questionsofpatronage，theasperityanddeterminationwithwhich，theyhavebeencontestedisscarcelycredible。
Theleaderoftheofficialparty-thesteadyadvocateofthe，churchwardens，andtheunflinchingsupporteroftheoverseers-is，anoldgentlemanwholivesinourrow。Heownssomehalfadozen，housesinit，andalwayswalksontheoppositesideoftheway，so，thathemaybeabletotakeinaviewofthewholeofhisproperty，atonce。Heisatall，thin，bonyman，withaninterrogativenose，andlittlerestlessperkingeyes，whichappeartohavebeengiven，himforthesolepurposeofpeepingintootherpeople’saffairs，with。Heisdeeplyimpressedwiththeimportanceofourparish，business，andprideshimself，notalittle，onhisstyleof，addressingtheparishionersinvestryassembled。Hisviewsare，ratherconfinedthanextensive;hisprinciplesmorenarrowthan，liberal。Hehasbeenheardtodeclaimveryloudlyinfavourofthe，libertyofthepress，andadvocatestherepealofthestampdutyon，newspapers，becausethedailyjournalswhonowhaveamonopolyof，thepublic，nevergiveVERBATIMreportsofvestrymeetings。He，wouldnotappearegotisticalfortheworld，butatthesametimehe，mustsay，thatthereareSPEECHES-thatcelebratedspeechofhis，own，ontheemolumentsofthesexton，andthedutiesoftheoffice，forinstance-whichmightbecommunicatedtothepublic，greatly，totheirimprovementandadvantage。
HisgreatopponentinpubliclifeisCaptainPurday，theoldnaval，officeronhalf-pay，towhomwehavealreadyintroducedour，readers。Thecaptainbeingadeterminedopponentofthe，constitutedauthorities，whoevertheymaychancetobe，andour，otherfriendbeingtheirsteadysupporter，withanequaldisregard，oftheirindividualmerits，itwillreadilybesupposed，that，occasionsfortheircomingintodirectcollisionareneitherfew，norfarbetween。Theydividedthevestryfourteentimesona，motionforheatingthechurchwithwarmwaterinsteadofcoals：
andmadespeechesaboutlibertyandexpenditure，andprodigality，andhotwater，whichthrewthewholeparishintoastateof，excitement。Thenthecaptain，whenhewasonthevisiting，committee，andhisopponentoverseer，broughtforwardcertain，distinctandspecificchargesrelativetothemanagementofthe，workhouse，boldlyexpressedhistotalwantofconfidenceinthe，existingauthorities，andmovedfor’acopyoftherecipebywhich，thepaupers’soupwasprepared，togetherwithanydocuments，relatingthereto。’，Thistheoverseersteadilyresisted;he，fortifiedhimselfbyprecedent，appealedtotheestablishedusage，anddeclinedtoproducethepapers，onthegroundoftheinjury，thatwouldbedonetothepublicservice，ifdocumentsofa，strictlyprivatenature，passingbetweenthemasterofthe，workhouseandthecook，weretobethusdraggedtolightonthe，motionofanyindividualmemberofthevestry。Themotionwaslost，byamajorityoftwo;andthenthecaptain，whoneverallows，himselftobedefeated，movedforacommitteeofinquiryintothe，wholesubject。Theaffairgrewserious：，thequestionwas，discussedatmeetingaftermeeting，andvestryaftervestry;
speechesweremade，attacksrepudiated，personaldefiances，exchanged，explanationsreceived，andthegreatestexcitement，prevailed，untilatlast，justasthequestionwasgoingtobe，finallydecided，thevestryfoundthatsomehoworother，theyhad，becomeentangledinapointofform，fromwhichitwasimpossible，toescapewithpropriety。So，themotionwasdropped，and，everybodylookedextremelyimportant，andseemedquitesatisfied，withthemeritoriousnatureofthewholeproceeding。
Thiswasthestateofaffairsinourparishaweekortwosince，whenSimmons，thebeadle，suddenlydied。Thelamenteddeceasedhad，over-exertedhimself，adayortwopreviously，inconveyinganaged，female，highlyintoxicated，tothestrongroomofthework-house。
Theexcitementthusoccasioned，addedtoaseverecold，whichthis，indefatigableofficerhadcaughtinhiscapacityofdirectorofthe，parishengine，byinadvertentlyplayingoverhimselfinsteadofa，fire，provedtoomuchforaconstitutionalreadyenfeebledbyage;
andtheintelligencewasconveyedtotheBoardoneeveningthat，Simmonshaddied，andlefthisrespects。
Thebreathwasscarcelyoutofthebodyofthedeceased，functionary，whenthefieldwasfilledwithcompetitorsforthe，vacantoffice，eachofwhomrestedhisclaimstopublicsupport，entirelyonthenumberandextentofhisfamily，asiftheoffice，ofbeadlewereoriginallyinstitutedasanencouragementforthe，propagationofthehumanspecies。’BungforBeadle。Fivesmall，children！’-’HopkinsforBeadle。Sevensmallchildren！！’-
’TimkinsforBeadle。Ninesmallchildren！！！’，Suchwerethe，placardsinlargeblacklettersonawhiteground，whichwere，plentifullypastedonthewalls，andpostedinthewindowsofthe，principalshops。Timkins’ssuccesswasconsideredcertain：
severalmothersoffamilieshalfpromisedtheirvotes，andthenine，smallchildrenwouldhaverunoverthecourse，butforthe，productionofanotherplacard，announcingtheappearanceofastill，moremeritoriouscandidate。’SprugginsforBeadle。Tensmall，children(twoofthemtwins)，andawife！！！’，Therewasno，resistingthis;tensmallchildrenwouldhavebeenalmost，irresistibleinthemselves，withoutthetwins，butthetouching，parenthesisaboutthatinterestingproductionofnature，andthe，stillmoretouchingallusiontoMrs。Spruggins，mustensure，success。Sprugginswasthefavouriteatonce，andtheappearance，ofhislady，asshewentabouttosolicitvotes(whichencouraged，confidenthopesofastillfurtheradditiontothehouseof，Sprugginsatnoremoteperiod)，increasedthegeneralprepossession，inhisfavour。Theothercandidates，Bungaloneexcepted，resigned，indespair。Thedayofelectionwasfixed;andthecanvass，proceededwithbrisknessandperseveranceonbothsides。
Themembersofthevestrycouldnotbesupposedtoescapethe，contagiousexcitementinseparablefromtheoccasion。Themajority，oftheladyinhabitantsoftheparishdeclaredatoncefor，Spruggins;andtheQUONDAMoverseertookthesameside，onthe，groundthatmenwithlargefamiliesalwayshadbeenelectedtothe，office，andthatalthoughhemustadmit，that，inotherrespects，Sprugginswastheleastqualifiedcandidateofthetwo，stillit，wasanoldpractice，andhesawnoreasonwhyanoldpractice，shouldbedepartedfrom。Thiswasenoughforthecaptain。He，immediatelysidedwithBung，canvassedforhimpersonallyinall，directions，wrotesquibsonSpruggins，andgothisbutcherto，skewerthemuponconspicuousjointsinhisshop-front;frightened，hisneighbour，theoldlady，intoapalpitationoftheheart，by，hisawfuldenunciationsofSpruggins’sparty;andbouncedinand，out，andupanddown，andbackwardsandforwards，untilallthe，soberinhabitantsoftheparishthoughtitinevitablethathemust，dieofabrainfever，longbeforetheelectionbegan。
Thedayofelectionarrived。Itwasnolongeranindividual，struggle，butapartycontestbetweentheinsandouts。The，questionwas，whetherthewitheringinfluenceoftheoverseers，the，dominationofthechurchwardens，andtheblightingdespotismofthe，vestry-clerk，shouldbeallowedtorendertheelectionofbeadlea，form-anullity：，whethertheyshouldimposeavestry-elected，beadleontheparish，todotheirbiddingandforwardtheirviews，orwhethertheparishioners，fearlesslyassertingtheirundoubted，rights，shouldelectanindependentbeadleoftheirown。
Thenominationwasfixedtotakeplaceinthevestry，butsogreat，wasthethrongofanxiousspectators，thatitwasfoundnecessary，toadjourntothechurch，wheretheceremonycommencedwithdue，solemnity。Theappearanceofthechurchwardensandoverseers，and，theex-churchwardensandex-overseers，withSprugginsintherear，excitedgeneralattention。Sprugginswasalittlethinman，in，rustyblack，withalongpaleface，andacountenanceexpressiveof，careandfatigue，whichmighteitherbeattributedtotheextentof，hisfamilyortheanxietyofhisfeelings。Hisopponentappeared，inacast-offcoatofthecaptain’s-abluecoatwithbright，buttons;whitetrousers，andthatdescriptionofshoesfamiliarly，knownbytheappellationof’high-lows。’，Therewasaserenityin，theopencountenanceofBung-akindofmoraldignityinhis，confidentair-an’Iwishyoumaygetit’sortofexpressionin，hiseye-whichinfusedanimationintohissupporters，and，evidentlydispiritedhisopponents。
Theex-churchwardenrosetoproposeThomasSprugginsforbeadle。
Hehadknownhimlong。Hehadhadhiseyeuponhimcloselyfor，years;hehadwatchedhimwithtwofoldvigilanceformonths。(A
parishionerheresuggestedthatthismightbetermed’takinga，doublesight，’buttheobservationwasdrownedinloudcriesof，’Order！’)，Hewouldrepeatthathehadhadhiseyeuponhimfor，years，andthishewouldsay，thatamorewell-conducted，amore，well-behaved，amoresober，amorequietman，withamorewell-
regulatedmind，hehadnevermetwith。Amanwithalargerfamily，hehadneverknown(cheers)。Theparishrequiredamanwhocould，bedependedon(’Hear！’fromtheSprugginsside，answeredby，ironicalcheersfromtheBungparty)。Suchamanhenowproposed，(’No，’’Yes’)。Hewouldnotalludetoindividuals(theex-
churchwardencontinued，inthecelebratednegativestyleadoptedby，greatspeakers)。Hewouldnotadverttoagentlemanwhohadonce，heldahighrankintheserviceofhismajesty;hewouldnotsay，thatthatgentlemanwasnogentleman;hewouldnotassert，that，thatmanwasnoman;hewouldnotsay，thathewasaturbulent，parishioner;hewouldnotsay，thathehadgrosslymisbehaved，himself，notonlyonthis，butonallformeroccasions;hewould，notsay，thathewasoneofthosediscontentedandtreasonable，spirits，whocarriedconfusionanddisorderwherevertheywent;he，wouldnotsay，thatheharbouredinhisheartenvy，andhatred，and，malice，andalluncharitableness。No！，Hewishedtohave，everythingcomfortableandpleasant，andtherefore，hewouldsay-
nothingabouthim(cheers)。
Thecaptainrepliedinasimilarparliamentarystyle。Hewouldnot，say，hewasastonishedatthespeechtheyhadjustheard;hewould，notsay，hewasdisgusted(cheers)。Hewouldnotretortthe，epithetswhichhadbeenhurledagainsthim(renewedcheering);he，wouldnotalludetomenonceinoffice，butnowhappilyoutofit，whohadmismanagedtheworkhouse，groundthepaupers，dilutedthe，beer，slack-bakedthebread，bonedthemeat，heightenedthework，andloweredthesoup(tremendouscheers)。Hewouldnotaskwhat，suchmendeserved(avoice，’Nothinga-day，andfindthemselves！’)。
Hewouldnotsay，thatoneburstofgeneralindignationshould，drivethemfromtheparishtheypollutedwiththeirpresence(’Give，ithim！’)。Hewouldnotalludetotheunfortunatemanwhohadbeen，proposed-hewouldnotsay，asthevestry’stool，butasBeadle。
Hewouldnotadverttothatindividual’sfamily;hewouldnotsay，thatninechildren，twins，andawife，wereverybadexamplesfor，pauperimitation(loudcheers)。Hewouldnotadvertindetailto，thequalificationsofBung。Themanstoodbeforehim，andhewould，notsayinhispresence，whathemightbedisposedtosayofhim，ifhewereabsent。(HereMr。Bungtelegraphedtoafriendnear，him，undercoverofhishat，bycontractinghislefteye，and，applyinghisrightthumbtothetipofhisnose)。Ithadbeen，objectedtoBungthathehadonlyfivechildren(’Hear，hear！’from，theopposition)。Well;hehadyettolearnthatthelegislature，hadaffixedanypreciseamountofinfantinequalificationtothe，officeofbeadle;buttakingitforgrantedthatanextensive，familywereagreatrequisite，heentreatedthemtolooktofacts，andcompareDATA，aboutwhichtherecouldbenomistake。Bungwas，35yearsofage。Spruggins-ofwhomhewishedtospeakwithall，possiblerespect-was50。Wasitnotmorethanpossible-wasit，notveryprobable-thatbythetimeBungattainedthelatterage，hemightseearoundhimafamily，evenexceedinginnumberand，extent，thattowhichSprugginsatpresentlaidclaim(deafening，cheersandwavingofhandkerchiefs)？，Thecaptainconcluded，amidst，loudapplause，bycallingupontheparishionerstosoundthe，tocsin，rushtothepoll，freethemselvesfromdictation，orbe，slavesforever。
Onthefollowingdaythepollingbegan，andweneverhavehadsuch，abustleinourparishsincewegotupourfamousanti-slavery，petition，whichwassuchanimportantone，thattheHouseof，Commonsorderedittobeprinted，onthemotionofthememberfor，thedistrict。Thecaptainengagedtwohackney-coachesandacab，forBung’speople-thecabforthedrunkenvoters，andthetwo，coachesfortheoldladies，thegreaterportionofwhom，owingto，thecaptain’simpetuosity，weredrivenuptothepollandhome，again，beforetheyrecoveredfromtheirflurrysufficientlyto，know，withanydegreeofclearness，whattheyhadbeendoing。The，oppositepartywhollyneglectedtheseprecautions，andthe，consequencewas，thatagreatmanyladieswhowerewalking，leisurelyuptothechurch-foritwasaveryhotday-tovote，forSpruggins，wereartfullydecoyedintothecoaches，andvoted，forBung。Thecaptain’sarguments，too，hadproducedconsiderable，effect：，theattemptedinfluenceofthevestryproducedagreater。
Athreatofexclusivedealingwasclearlyestablishedagainstthe，vestry-clerk-acaseofheartlessandprofligateatrocity。It，appearedthatthedelinquenthadbeeninthehabitofpurchasing，sixpenn’orthofmuffins，weekly，fromanoldwomanwhorentsa，smallhouseintheparish，andresidesamongtheoriginalsettlers;
onherlastweeklyvisit，amessagewasconveyedtoherthroughthe，mediumofthecook，couchedinmysteriousterms，butindicating，withsufficientclearness，thatthevestry-clerk’sappetitefor，muffins，infuture，dependedentirelyonhervoteonthe，beadleship。Thiswassufficient：，thestreamhadbeenturning，previously，andtheimpulsethusadministereddirecteditsfinal，course。TheBungpartyorderedoneshilling’s-worthofmuffins，weeklyfortheremainderoftheoldwoman’snaturallife;the，parishionerswereloudintheirexclamations;andthefateof，Sprugginswassealed。
Itwasinvainthatthetwinswereexhibitedindressesofthesame，pattern，andnight-caps，tomatch，atthechurchdoor：，theboyin，Mrs。Spruggins’srightarm，andthegirlinherleft-evenMrs。
Sprugginsherselffailedtobeanobjectofsympathyanylonger。
ThemajorityattainedbyBungonthegrosspollwasfourhundred，andtwenty-eight，andthecauseoftheparishionerstriumphed。
CHAPTERV-THEBROKER’SMAN
Theexcitementofthelateelectionhassubsided，andourparish，beingonceagainrestoredtoastateofcomparativetranquillity，weareenabledtodevoteourattentiontothoseparishionerswho，takelittleshareinourpartycontestsorintheturmoiland，bustleofpubliclife。Andwefeelsincerepleasurein，acknowledginghere，thatincollectingmaterialsforthistaskwe，havebeengreatlyassistedbyMr。Bunghimself，whohasimposedon，usadebtofobligationwhichwefearwecanneverrepay。Thelife，ofthisgentlemanhasbeenoneofaverychequereddescription：，he，hasundergonetransitions-notfromgravetogay，forheneverwas，grave-notfromlivelytosevere，forseverityformsnopartof，hisdisposition;hisfluctuationshavebeenbetweenpovertyinthe，extreme，andpovertymodified，or，tousehisownemphatic，language，’betweennothingtoeatandjusthalfenough。’，Heis，not，asheforciblyremarks，’oneofthosefortunatemenwho，if，theyweretodiveunderonesideofabargestark-naked，wouldcome，upontheotherwithanewsuitofclotheson，andaticketfor，soupinthewaistcoat-pocket：’neitherisheoneofthose，whose，spirithasbeenbrokenbeyondredemptionbymisfortuneandwant。
Heisjustoneofthecareless，good-for-nothing，happyfellows，whofloat，cork-like，onthesurface，fortheworldtoplayat，hockeywith：，knockedhere，andthere，andeverywhere：，nowtothe，right，thentotheleft，againupintheair，andanontothe，bottom，butalwaysreappearingandboundingwiththestream，buoyantlyandmerrilyalong。Somefewmonthsbeforehewas，prevailedupontostandacontestedelectionfortheofficeof，beadle，necessityattachedhimtotheserviceofabroker;andon，theopportunitieshehereacquiredofascertainingtheconditionof，mostofthepoorerinhabitantsoftheparish，hispatron，the，captain，firstgroundedhisclaimstopublicsupport。Chancethrew，themaninourwayashorttimesince。Wewere，inthefirst，instance，attractedbyhisprepossessingimpudenceattheelection;
wewerenotsurprised，onfurtheracquaintance，tofindhima，shrewd，knowingfellow，withnoinconsiderablepowerof，observation;and，afterconversingwithhimalittle，weresomewhat，struck(aswedaresayourreadershavefrequentlybeeninother，cases)withthepowersomemenseemtohave，notonlyof，sympathisingwith，buttoallappearanceofunderstandingfeelings，towhichtheythemselvesareentirestrangers。Wehadbeen，expressingtothenewfunctionaryoursurprisethatheshouldever，haveservedinthecapacitytowhichwehavejustadverted，whenwe，graduallyledhimintooneortwoprofessionalanecdotes。Aswe，areinducedtothink，onreflection，thattheywilltellbetterin，nearlyhisownwords，thanwithanyattemptedembellishmentsof，ours，wewillatonceentitlethem。
MRBUNG’SNARRATIVE
’It’sverytrue，asyousay，sir，’Mr。Bungcommenced，’thata，broker’sman’sisnotalifetobeenvied;andincourseyouknow，aswellasIdo，thoughyoudon’tsayit，thatpeoplehateand，scout’embecausethey’retheministersofwretchedness，like，to，poorpeople。ButwhatcouldIdo，sir？，Thethingwasnoworse，becauseIdidit，insteadofsomebodyelse;andifputtingmein，possessionofahousewouldputmeinpossessionofthreeand，sixpenceaday，andlevyingadistressonanotherman’sgoodswould，relievemydistressandthatofmyfamily，itcan’tbeexpectedbut，whatI’dtakethejobandgothroughwithit。Ineverlikedit，Godknows;Ialwayslookedoutforsomethingelse，andthemomentI
gototherworktodo，Ileftit。Ifthereisanythingwrongin，beingtheagentinsuchmatters-nottheprincipal，mindyou-I’m，surethebusiness，toabeginnerlikeIwas，atallevents，carries，itsownpunishmentalongwithit。Iwishedagainandagainthat，thepeoplewouldonlyblowmeup，orpitchintome-thatI
wouldn’thaveminded，it’sallinmyway;butit’sthebeingshut，upbyyourselfinoneroomforfivedays，withoutsomuchasanold，newspapertolookat，oranythingtoseeouto’thewinderbutthe，roofsandchimneysatthebackofthehouse，oranythingtolisten，to，buttheticking，perhaps，ofanoldDutchclock，thesobbingof，themissis，nowandthen，thelowtalkingoffriendsinthenext，room，whospeakinwhispers，lest“theman“shouldoverhearthem，orperhapstheoccasionalopeningofthedoor，asachildpeepsin，tolookatyou，andthenrunshalf-frightenedaway-it’sallthis，thatmakesyoufeelsneakingsomehow，andashamedofyourself;and，then，ifit’swintertime，theyjustgiveyoufireenoughtomake，youthinkyou’dlikemore，andbringinyourgrubasiftheywished，it’udchokeyou-asIdaresaytheydo，forthematterofthat，mostheartily。Ifthey’reverycivil，theymakeyouupabedin，theroomatnight，andiftheydon’t，yourmastersendsoneinfor，you;butthereyouare，withoutbeingwashedorshavedallthe，time，shunnedbyeverybody，andspokentobynoone，unlesssome，onecomesinatdinner-time，andasksyouwhetheryouwantany，more，inatoneasmuchtosay，“Ihopeyoudon’t，“or，inthe，evening，toinquirewhetheryouwouldn’tratherhaveacandle，afteryou’vebeensittinginthedarkhalfthenight。WhenIwas，leftinthisway，Iusedtosit，think，think，thinking，tillI
feltaslonesomeasakitteninawash-housecopperwiththelid，on;butIbelievetheoldbrokers’menwhoareregularlytrainedto，it，neverthinkatall。Ihaveheardsomeon’emsay，indeed，that，theydon’tknowhow！
’Iputinagoodmanydistressesinmytime(continuedMr。Bung)，andincourseIwasn’tlonginfinding，thatsomepeoplearenotas，muchtobepitiedasothersare，andthatpeoplewithgoodincomes，whogetintodifficulties，whichtheykeeppatchingupdayafter，dayandweekafterweek，getsousedtothesesortofthingsin，time，thatatlasttheycomescarcelytofeelthematall。I
remembertheveryfirstplaceIwasputinpossessionof，wasa，gentleman’shouseinthisparishhere，thateverybodywouldsuppose，couldn’thelphavingmoneyifhetried。IwentwitholdFixem，my，oldmaster，’bouthalfartereightinthemorning;rangthearea-
bell;servantinliveryopenedthedoor：，“Governorathome？”-
“Yes，heis，“saystheman;“buthe’sbreakfastingjustnow。”
“Nevermind，“saysFixem，“justyoutellhimthere’sagentleman，here，aswantstospeaktohimpartickler。”，Sotheservanthe，openshiseyes，andstaresabouthimallways-lookingforthe，gentleman，asitstruckme，forIdon’tthinkanybodybutamanas，wasstone-blindwouldmistakeFixemforone;andasforme，Iwas，asseedyasacheapcowcumber。Hows’ever，heturnsround，andgoes，tothebreakfast-parlour，whichwasalittlesnugsortofroomat，theendofthepassage，andFixem(aswealwaysdidinthat，profession)，withoutwaitingtobeannounced，walksinarterhim，andbeforetheservantcouldgetout，“Please，sir，here’samanas，wantstospeaktoyou，“looksinatthedoorasfamiliarand，pleasantasmaybe。”Whothedevilareyou，andhowdareyouwalk，intoagentleman’shousewithoutleave？”saysthemaster，asfierce，asabullinfits。”Myname，“saysFixem，winkingtothemasterto，sendtheservantaway，andputtingthewarrantintohishands，foldeduplikeanote，“Myname’sSmith，“sayshe，“andIcalled，fromJohnson’saboutthatbusinessofThompson’s。”-“Oh，“saysthe，other，quitedownonhimdirectly，“HowISThompson？”sayshe;
“Praysitdown，Mr。Smith：，John，leavetheroom。”，Outwentthe，servant;andthegentlemanandFixemlookedatoneanothertill，theycouldn’tlookanylonger，andthentheyvariedtheamusements，bylookingatme，whohadbeenstandingonthematallthistime。
“Hundredandfiftypounds，Isee，“saidthegentlemanatlast。
“Hundredandfiftypound，“saidFixem，“besidescostoflevy，sheriff’spoundage，andallotherincidentalexpenses。”-“Um，“
saysthegentleman，“Ishan’tbeabletosettlethisbeforeto-
morrowafternoon。”-“Verysorry;butIshallbeobligedtoleave，mymanheretillthen，“repliesFixem，pretendingtolookvery，miserableoverit。”That’sveryunfort’nate，“saysthegentleman，“forIhavegotalargepartyhereto-night，andI’mruinedif，thosefellowsofminegetaninklingofthematter-juststep，here，Mr。Smith，“sayshe，afterashortpause。SoFixemwalks，withhimuptothewindow，andafteragooddealofwhispering，and，alittlechinkingofsuverins，andlookingatme，hecomesbackand，says，“Bung，you’reahandyfellow，andveryhonestIknow。This，gentlemanwantsanassistanttocleantheplateandwaitattable，to-day，andifyou’renotparticularlyengaged，“saysoldFixem，grinninglikemad，andshovingacoupleofsuverinsintomyhand，“he’llbeverygladtoavailhimselfofyourservices。”，Well，I
laughed：，andthegentlemanlaughed，andwealllaughed;andIwent，homeandcleanedmyself，leavingFixemthere，andwhenIwentback，Fixemwentaway，andIpolisheduptheplate，andwaitedattable，andgammonedtheservants，andnobodyhadtheleastideaIwasin，possession，thoughitverynearlycameoutafterall;foroneof，thelastgentlemenwhoremained，camedown-stairsintothehall，whereIwassittingprettylateatnight，andputtinghalf-a-crown，intomyhand，says，“Here，myman，“sayshe，“runandgetmea，coach，willyou？”Ithoughtitwasado，togetmeoutofthe，house，andwasjustgoingtosayso，sulkilyenough，whenthe，gentleman(whowasuptoeverything)camerunningdown-stairs，as，ifhewasingreatanxiety。”Bung，“sayshe，pretendingtobeina，consumingpassion。”Sir，“saysI。”Whythedevilan’tyoulooking，afterthatplate？”-“Iwasjustgoingtosendhimforacoachfor，me，“saystheothergentleman。”AndIwasjusta-goingtosay，“
saysI-“Anybodyelse，mydearfellow，“interruptsthemasterof，thehouse，pushingmedownthepassagetogetoutoftheway-
“anybodyelse;butIhaveputthismaninpossessionofallthe，plateandvaluables，andIcannotallowhimonanyconsideration，whatever，toleavethehouse。Bung，youscoundrel，goandcount，thoseforksinthebreakfast-parlourinstantly。”，YoumaybesureI
wentlaughingprettyheartywhenIfounditwasallright。The，moneywaspaidnextday，withtheadditionofsomethingelsefor，myself，andthatwasthebestjobthatI(andIsuspectoldFixem，too)evergotinthatline。
’Butthisisthebrightsideofthepicture，sir，afterall，’
resumedMr。Bung，layingasidetheknowinglookandflashair，with，whichhehadrepeatedthepreviousanecdote-’andI’msorryto，say，it’sthesideoneseesvery，veryseldom，incomparisonwith，thedarkone。Thecivilitywhichmoneywillpurchase，israrely，extendedtothosewhohavenone;andthere’saconsolationevenin，beingabletopatchuponedifficulty，tomakewayforanother，to，whichverypoorpeoplearestrangers。Iwasonceputintoahouse，downGeorge’s-yard-thatlittledirtycourtatthebackofthe，gas-works;andInevershallforgetthemiseryofthempeople，dear，me！，Itwasadistressforhalfayear’srent-twopoundten，I
think。Therewasonlytworoomsinthehouse，andastherewasno，passage，thelodgersup-stairsalwayswentthroughtheroomofthe，peopleofthehouse，astheypassedinandout;andeverytimethey，didso-which，ontheaverage，wasaboutfourtimeseveryquarter，ofanhour-theyblowedupquitefrightful：，fortheirthingshad，beenseizedtoo，andincludedintheinventory。Therewasalittle，pieceofencloseddustinfrontofthehouse，withacinder-path，leadinguptothedoor，andanopenrain-waterbuttononeside。A
dirtystripedcurtain，onaveryslackstring，hunginthewindow，andalittletriangularbitofbrokenlooking-glassrestedonthe，sillinside。Isupposeitwasmeantforthepeople’suse，but，theirappearancewassowretched，andsomiserable，thatI’m，certaintheynevercouldhavepluckedupcouragetolookthemselves，inthefaceasecondtime，iftheysurvivedthefrightofdoingso，once。Therewastwoorthreechairs，thatmighthavebeenworth，intheirbestdays，fromeightpencetoashillinga-piece;asmall，dealtable，anoldcornercupboardwithnothinginit，andoneof，thosebedsteadswhichturnuphalfway，andleavethebottomlegs，stickingoutforyoutoknockyourheadagainst，orhangyourhat，upon;nobed，nobedding。Therewasanoldsack，bywayofrug，beforethefireplace，andfourorfivechildrenweregrovelling，about，amongthesandonthefloor。Theexecutionwasonlyputin，toget’emoutofthehouse，fortherewasnothingtotaketopay，theexpenses;andhereIstoppedforthreedays，thoughthatwasa，mereformtoo：，for，incourse，Iknew，andweallknew，theycould，neverpaythemoney。Inoneofthechairs，bythesideofthe，placewherethefireoughttohavebeen，wasanold’ooman-the，ugliestanddirtiestIeversee-whosatrockingherselfbackwards，andforwards，backwardsandforwards，withoutoncestopping，except，foraninstantnowandthen，toclasptogetherthewitheredhands，which，withtheseexceptions，shekeptconstantlyrubbinguponher，knees，justraisinganddepressingherfingersconvulsively，in，timetotherockingofthechair。Ontheothersidesatthemother，withaninfantinherarms，whichcriedtillitcrieditselfto，sleep，andwhenit’woke，criedtillitcrieditselfoffagain。
Theold’ooman’svoiceIneverheard：，sheseemedcompletely，stupefied;andastothemother’s，itwouldhavebeenbetterifshe，hadbeensotoo，formiseryhadchangedhertoadevil。Ifyouhad，heardhowshecursedthelittlenakedchildrenaswasrollingon，thefloor，andseenhowsavagelyshestrucktheinfantwhenit，criedwithhunger，you’dhaveshudderedasmuchasIdid。There，theyremainedallthetime：，thechildrenateamorselofbread，onceortwice，andIgave’embestpartofthedinnersmymissis，broughtme，butthewomanatenothing;theyneverevenlaidonthe，bedstead，norwastheroomsweptorcleanedallthetime。The，neighbourswerealltoopoorthemselvestotakeanynoticeof’em，butfromwhatIcouldmakeoutfromtheabuseofthewomanup-
stairs，itseemedthehusbandhadbeentransportedafewweeks，before。Whenthetimewasup，thelandlordandoldFixemtoo，got，ratherfrightenedaboutthefamily，andsotheymadeastirabout，it，andhad’emtakentotheworkhouse。Theysentthesickcouch，fortheold’ooman，andSimmonstookthechildrenawayatnight。
Theold’oomanwentintotheinfirmary，andverysoondied。The，childrenareallinthehousetothisday，andverycomfortable，theyareincomparison。Astothemother，therewasnotamingher，atall。Shehadbeenaquiet，hard-workingwoman，Ibelieve，but，hermiseryhadactuallydroveherwild;soaftershehadbeensent，tothehouseofcorrectionhalf-a-dozentimes，forthrowing，inkstandsattheoverseers，blasphemingthechurchwardens，and，smashingeverybodyascomenearher，sheburstablood-vesselone，mornin’，anddiedtoo;andahappyreleaseitwas，bothforherself，andtheoldpaupers，maleandfemale，whichsheusedtotipoverin，alldirections，asiftheyweresomanyskittles，andshetheball。
’Nowthiswasbadenough，’resumedMr。Bung，takingahalf-step，towardsthedoor，asiftointimatethathehadnearlyconcluded。
’Thiswasbadenough，buttherewasasortofquietmisery-ifyou，understandwhatImeanbythat，sir-aboutaladyatonehouseI
wasputinto，astouchedmeagooddealmore。Itdoesn’tmatter，whereitwasexactly：，indeed，I’drathernotsay，butitwasthe，samesorto’job。IwentwithFixemintheusualway-therewasa，year’srentinarrear;averysmallservant-girlopenedthedoor，andthreeorfourfine-lookinglittlechildrenwasinthefront，parlourwewereshowninto，whichwasveryclean，butveryscantily，furnished，muchlikethechildrenthemselves。”Bung，“saysFixem，tome，inalowvoice，whenwewereleftaloneforaminute，“I
knowsomethingaboutthisherefamily，andmyopinionis，it’sno，go。”，“Doyouthinktheycan’tsettle？”saysI，quiteanxiously;
forIlikedthelooksofthemchildren。Fixemshookhishead，and，wasjustabouttoreply，whenthedooropened，andincomealady，aswhiteaseverIseeanyoneinmydays，exceptabouttheeyes，whichwereredwithcrying。Shewalkedin，asfirmasIcouldhave，done;shutthedoorcarefullyafterher，andsatherselfdownwith，afaceascomposedasifitwasmadeofstone。”Whatisthe，matter，gentlemen？”saysshe，inasurprisin’steadyvoice。”IS
thisanexecution？”“Itis，mum，“saysFixem。Theladylookedat，himassteadyasever：，shedidn’tseemtohaveunderstoodhim。
“Itis，mum，“saysFixemagain;“thisismywarrantofdistress，mum，“sayshe，handingitoveraspoliteasifitwasanewspaper，whichhadbeenbespokearterthenextgentleman。
’Thelady’sliptrembledasshetooktheprintedpaper。Shecast，hereyeoverit，andoldFixembegantoexplaintheform，butsaw，shewasn’treadingit，plainenough，poorthing。”Oh，myGod！”
saysshe，suddenlya-burstingoutcrying，lettingthewarrantfall，andhidingherfaceinherhands。”Oh，myGod！whatwillbecomeof，us！”Thenoiseshemade，broughtinayoungladyofaboutnineteen，ortwenty，who，Isuppose，hadbeena-listeningatthedoor，and，whohadgotalittleboyinherarms：，shesathimdowninthe，lady’slap，withoutspeaking，andshehuggedthepoorlittlefellow，toherbosom，andcriedoverhim，tillevenoldFixemputonhis，bluespectaclestohidethetwotears，thatwasa-tricklingdown，oneoneachsideofhisdirtyface。”Now，dearma，“saystheyoung，lady，“youknowhowmuchyouhaveborne。Foralloursakes-for，pa’ssake，“saysshe，“don’tgivewaytothis！”-“No，no，I
won’t！”saysthelady，gatheringherselfup，hastily，anddrying，hereyes;“Iamveryfoolish，butI’mbetternow-muchbetter。”
Andthensherousedherselfup，wentwithusintoeveryroomwhile，wetooktheinventory，openedallthedrawersofherownaccord，sortedthechildren’slittleclothestomaketheworkeasier;and，exceptdoingeverythinginastrangesortofhurry，seemedascalm，andcomposedasifnothinghadhappened。Whenwecamedown-stairs，again，shehesitatedaminuteortwo，andatlastsays，“Gentlemen，“saysshe，“IamafraidIhavedonewrong，andperhaps，itmaybringyouintotrouble。Isecretedjustnow，“shesays，“theonlytrinketIhaveleftintheworld-hereitis。”，Soshe，laysdownonthetablealittleminiaturemountedingold。”It’sa，miniature，“shesays，“ofmypoordearfather！，Ilittlethought，once，thatIshouldeverthankGodfordeprivingmeofthe，original，butIdo，andhavedoneforyearsback，mostfervently。
Takeitaway，sir，“shesays，“it’safacethatneverturnedfrom，meinsicknessanddistress，andIcanhardlybeartoturnfromit，now，when，Godknows，Isufferbothinnoordinarydegree。”，I
couldn’tsaynothing，butIraisedmyheadfromtheinventorywhich，Iwasfillingup，andlookedatFixem;theoldfellownoddedtome，significantly，soIranmypenthroughthe“MINI“Ihadjust，written，andlefttheminiatureonthetable。
’Well，sir，tomakeshortofalongstory，Iwasleftin，possession，andinpossessionIremained;andthoughIwasan，ignorantman，andthemasterofthehouseacleverone，Isawwhat，heneverdid，butwhathewouldgiveworldsnow(ifhehad’em)to，haveseenintime。Isaw，sir，thathiswifewaswastingaway，beneathcaresofwhichshenevercomplained，andgriefsshenever，told。Isawthatshewasdyingbeforehiseyes;Iknewthatone，exertionfromhimmighthavesavedher，buthenevermadeit。I
don’tblamehim：，Idon’tthinkheCOULDrousehimself。Shehadso，longanticipatedallhiswishes，andactedforhim，thathewasa，lostmanwhenlefttohimself。IusedtothinkwhenIcaughtsight，ofher，intheclothessheusedtowear，whichlookedshabbyeven，uponher，andwouldhavebeenscarcelydecentonanyoneelse，that，ifIwasagentlemanitwouldwringmyveryhearttoseethewoman，thatwasasmartandmerrygirlwhenIcourtedher，soaltered，throughherloveforme。Bittercoldanddampweatheritwas，yet，thoughherdresswasthin，andhershoesnoneofthebest，during，thewholethreedays，frommorningtonight，shewasoutofdoors，runningabouttotryandraisethemoney。ThemoneyWASraisedand，theexecutionwaspaidout。Thewholefamilycrowdedintotheroom，whereIwas，whenthemoneyarrived。Thefatherwasquitehappyas，theinconveniencewasremoved-Idaresayhedidn’tknowhow;the，childrenlookedmerryandcheerfulagain;theeldestgirlwas，bustlingabout，makingpreparationsforthefirstcomfortablemeal，theyhadhadsincethedistresswasputin;andthemotherlooked，pleasedtoseethemallso。ButifeverIsawdeathinawoman’s，face，Isawitinhersthatnight。
’Iwasright，sir，’continuedMr。Bung，hurriedlypassinghiscoat-
sleeveoverhisface;’thefamilygrewmoreprosperous，andgood，fortunearrived。Butitwastoolate。Thosechildrenare，motherlessnow，andtheirfatherwouldgiveupallhehassince，gained-house，home，goods，money：，allthathehas，orevercan，have，torestorethewifehehaslost。’
CHAPTERVI-THELADIES’SOCIETIES
OurParishisveryprolificinladies’charitableinstitutions。In，winter，whenwetfeetarecommon，andcoldsnotscarce，wehavethe，ladies’soupdistributionsociety，theladies’coaldistribution，society，andtheladies’blanketdistributionsociety;insummer，whenstonefruitsflourishandstomachachesprevail，wehavethe，ladies’dispensary，andtheladies’sickvisitationcommittee;and，alltheyearroundwehavetheladies’child’sexaminationsociety，theladies’bibleandprayer-bookcirculationsociety，andthe，ladies’childbed-linenmonthlyloansociety。Thetwolatterare，decidedlythemostimportant;whethertheyareproductiveofmore，benefitthantherest，itisnotforustosay，butwecantake，uponourselvestoaffirm，withtheutmostsolemnity，thatthey，createagreaterstirandmorebustle，thanalltheothersput，together。
Weshouldbedisposedtoaffirm，onthefirstblushofthematter，thatthebibleandprayer-booksocietyisnotsopopularasthe，childbed-linensociety;thebibleandprayer-booksocietyhas，however，considerablyincreasedinimportancewithinthelastyear，ortwo，havingderivedsomeadventitiousaidfromthefactious，oppositionofthechild’sexaminationsociety;whichfactious，oppositionoriginatedinmannerfollowing：-Whentheyoungcurate，waspopular，andalltheunmarriedladiesintheparishtooka，seriousturn，thecharitychildrenallatoncebecameobjectsof，peculiarandespecialinterest。ThethreeMissBrowns，(enthusiasticadmirersofthecurate)taught，andexercised，and，examined，andre-examinedtheunfortunatechildren，untiltheboys，grewpale，andthegirlsconsumptivewithstudyandfatigue。The，threeMissBrownsstooditoutverywell，becausetheyrelieved，eachother;butthechildren，havingnoreliefatall，exhibited，decidedsymptomsofwearinessandcare。Theunthinkingpartofthe，parishionerslaughedatallthis，butthemorereflectiveportion，oftheinhabitantsabstainedfromexpressinganyopiniononthe，subjectuntilthatofthecuratehadbeenclearlyascertained。
Theopportunitywasnotlongwanting。Thecuratepreacheda，charitysermononbehalfofthecharityschool，andinthecharity，sermonaforesaid，expatiatedinglowingtermsonthepraiseworthy，andindefatigableexertionsofcertainestimableindividuals。Sobs，wereheardtoissuefromthethreeMissBrowns’pew;thepew-opener，ofthedivisionwasseentohurrydownthecentreaisletothe，vestrydoor，andtoreturnimmediately，bearingaglassofwaterin，herhand。Alowmoaningensued;twomorepew-openersrushedtothe，spot，andthethreeMissBrowns，eachsupportedbyapew-opener，wereledoutofthechurch，andledinagainafterthelapseof，fiveminuteswithwhitepocket-handkerchiefstotheireyes，asif，theyhadbeenattendingafuneralinthechurchyardadjoining。If，anydoubthadforamomentexisted，astowhomtheallusionwas，intendedtoapply，itwasatonceremoved。Thewishtoenlighten，thecharitychildrenbecameuniversal，andthethreeMissBrowns，wereunanimouslybesoughttodividetheschoolintoclasses，andto，assigneachclasstothesuperintendenceoftwoyoungladies。