第7章
Shewasnotclumsy，andyetnoneofhermovementsseemedquite，THEmovement。Often，whenwipingthedishes，shewouldstand，inbewildermentandchagrinbecauseshehadpulledintwohalves，acuporatumbler。Itwasasif，inherfearandself-mistrust，sheputtoomuchstrengthintotheeffort。Therewasnolooseness，orabandonabouther。Everythingwasgrippedstiffwithintensity，andhereffort，overcharged，closedinonitself。
Sherarelyvariedfromherswinging，forward，intensewalk。
OccasionallysheranwithPauldownthefields。Thenhereyes，blazednakedinakindofecstasythatfrightenedhim。Butshewas，physicallyafraid。Ifsheweregettingoverastile，shegrippedhis，handsinalittlehardanguish，andbegantoloseherpresenceofmind。
Andhecouldnotpersuadehertojumpfromevenasmallheight。
Hereyesdilated，becameexposedandpalpitating。
“No！”shecried，halflaughinginterror——“no！”
“Youshall！”hecriedonce，and，jerkingherforward，hebrought，herfallingfromthefence。Butherwild“Ah！”ofpain，asifshe，werelosingconsciousness，cuthim。Shelandedonherfeetsafely，andafterwardshadcourageinthisrespect。
Shewasverymuchdissatisfiedwithherlot。
“Don’tyoulikebeingathome？”Paulaskedher，surprised。
“Whowould？”sheanswered，lowandintense。”Whatisit？
I’malldaycleaningwhattheboysmakejustasbadinfiveminutes。
Idon’tWANTtobeathome。”
“Whatdoyouwant，then？”
“Iwanttodosomething。Iwantachancelikeanybodyelse。
Whyshould1，becauseI’magirl，bekeptathomeandnotallowed，tobeanything？，WhatchanceHAVEI？”
“Chanceofwhat？”
“Ofknowinganything——oflearning，ofdoinganything。
It’snotfair，becauseI’mawoman。”
Sheseemedverybitter。Paulwondered。InhisownhomeAnnie，wasalmostgladtobeagirl。Shehadnotsomuchresponsibility;
thingswerelighterforher。Sheneverwantedtobeotherthanagirl。
ButMiriamalmostfiercelywishedshewereaman。Andyetshehated，menatthesametime。
“Butit’saswelltobeawomanasaman，“hesaid，frowning。
“Ha！Isit？，Menhaveeverything。”
“Ishouldthinkwomenoughttobeasgladtobewomenasmen，aretobemen，“heanswered。
“No！”——sheshookherhead——“no！Everythingthemenhave。”
“Butwhatdoyouwant？”heasked。
“Iwanttolearn。WhySHOULDitbethatIknownothing？”
“What！suchasmathematicsandFrench？”
“WhySHOULDN’TIknowmathematics？，Yes！”shecried，hereye，expandinginakindofdefiance。
“Well，youcanlearnasmuchasIknow，“hesaid。”I’llteachyou，ifyoulike。”
Hereyesdilated。Shemistrustedhimasteacher。
“Wouldyou？”heasked。
Herheadhaddropped，andshewassuckingherfingerbroodingly。
“Yes，“shesaidhesitatingly。
Heusedtotellhismotherallthesethings。
“I’mgoingtoteachMiriamalgebra，“hesaid。
“Well，“repliedMrs。Morel，“Ihopeshe’llgetfatonit。”
WhenhewentuptothefarmontheMondayevening，itwas，drawingtwilight。Miriamwasjustsweepingupthekitchen，andwas，kneelingatthehearthwhenheentered。Everyonewasoutbuther。
Shelookedroundathim，flushed，herdarkeyesshining，herfine，hairfallingaboutherface。
“Hello！”shesaid，softandmusical。”Iknewitwasyou。”
“How？”
“Iknewyourstep。Nobodytreadssoquickandfirm。”
Hesatdown，sighing。
“Readytodosomealgebra？”heasked，drawingalittlebook，fromhispocket。
“But——“
Hecouldfeelherbackingaway。
“Yousaidyouwanted，“heinsisted。
“To-night，though？”shefaltered。
“ButIcameonpurpose。Andifyouwanttolearnit，youmustbegin。”
Shetookupherashesinthedustpanandlookedathim，halftremulously，laughing。
“Yes，butto-night！Yousee，Ihaven’tthoughtofit。”
“Well，mygoodness！，Taketheashesandcome。”
Hewentandsatonthestonebenchintheback-yard，where，thebigmilk-canswerestanding，tippedup，toair。Themenwere，inthecowsheds。Hecouldhearthelittlesing-songofthemilk，spurtingintothepails。Presentlyshecame，bringingsomebig，greenishapples。
“Youknowyoulikethem，“shesaid。
Hetookabite。
“Sitdown，“hesaid，withhismouthfull。
Shewasshort-sighted，andpeeredoverhisshoulder。
Itirritatedhim。Hegaveherthebookquickly。
“Here，“hesaid。”It’sonlylettersforfigures。Youput，down’a’insteadof’2’or’6’。”
Theyworked，hetalking，shewithherheaddownonthebook。
Hewasquickandhasty。Sheneveranswered。Occasionally，whenhe，demandedofher，“Doyousee？”shelookedupathim，hereyeswide，withthehalf-laughthatcomesoffear。”Don’tyou？”hecried。
Hehadbeentoofast。Butshesaidnothing。Hequestioned，hermore，thengothot。Itmadehisbloodrousetoseeherthere，asitwere，athismercy，hermouthopen，hereyesdilatedwith，laughterthatwasafraid，apologetic，ashamed。ThenEdgarcame，alongwithtwobucketsofmilk。
“Hello！”hesaid。”Whatareyoudoing？”
“Algebra，“repliedPaul。
“Algebra！”repeatedEdgarcuriously。Thenhepassedonwith，alaugh。Paultookabiteathisforgottenapple，lookedatthe，miserablecabbagesinthegarden，peckedintolacebythefowls，andhewantedtopullthemup。ThenheglancedatMiriam。
Shewasporingoverthebook，seemedabsorbedinit，yettrembling，lestshecouldnotgetatit。Itmadehimcross。Shewasruddy，andbeautiful。Yethersoulseemedtobeintenselysupplicating。
Thealgebra-booksheclosed，shrinking，knowinghewasangered;
andatthesameinstanthegrewgentle，seeingherhurtbecauseshedid，notunderstand。
Butthingscameslowlytoher。Andwhensheheldherself，inagrip，seemedsoutterlyhumblebeforethelesson，itmadehis，bloodrouse。Hestormedather，gotashamed，continuedthelesson，andgrewfuriousagain，abusingher。Shelistenedinsilence。
Occasionally，veryrarely，shedefendedherself。Herliquiddark，eyesblazedathim。
“Youdon’tgivemetimetolearnit，“shesaid。
“Allright，“heanswered，throwingthebookonthetableandlighting，acigarette。Then，afterawhile，hewentbacktoherrepentant。
Sothelessonswent。Hewasalwayseitherinarageorverygentle。
“WhatdoyoutrembleyourSOULbeforeitfor？”hecried。
“Youdon’tlearnalgebrawithyourblessedsoul。Can’tyoulook，atitwithyourclearsimplewits？”
Often，whenhewentagainintothekitchen，Mrs。Leiverswould，lookathimreproachfully，saying：
“Paul，don’tbesohardonMiriam。Shemaynotbequick，butI’msureshetries。”
“Ican’thelpit，“hesaidratherpitiably。”Igoofflikeit。”
“Youdon’tmindme，Miriam，doyou？”heaskedofthegirllater。
“No，“shereassuredhiminherbeautifuldeeptones——“no，I
don’tmind。”
“Don’tmindme;it’smyfault。”
But，inspiteofhimself，hisbloodbegantoboilwithher。
Itwasstrangethatnooneelsemadehiminsuchfury。
Heflaredagainsther。Oncehethrewthepencilinherface。
Therewasasilence。Sheturnedherfaceslightlyaside。
“Ididn’t——“hebegan，butgotnofarther，feelingweakin，allhisbones。Sheneverreproachedhimorwasangrywithhim。
Hewasoftencruellyashamed。Butstillagainhisangerburst，likeabubblesurcharged;andstill，whenhesawhereager，silent，asitwere，blindface，hefelthewantedtothrowthepencil，init;andstill，whenhesawherhandtremblingandhermouth，partedwithsuffering，hisheartwasscaldedwithpainforher。
Andbecauseoftheintensitytowhichsherousedhim，hesoughther。
ThenheoftenavoidedherandwentwithEdgar。Miriamand，herbrotherwerenaturallyantagonistic。Edgarwasarationalist，whowascurious，andhadasortofscientificinterestinlife。
ItwasagreatbitternesstoMiriamtoseeherselfdesertedbyPaul，forEdgar，whoseemedsomuchlower。Buttheyouthwasveryhappy，withherelderbrother。Thetwomenspentafternoonstogether，onthelandorintheloftdoingcarpentry，whenitrained。
Andtheytalkedtogether，orPaultaughtEdgarthesongshehimself，hadlearnedfromAnnieatthepiano。Andoftenallthemen，Mr。Leiversaswell，hadbitterdebatesonthenationalizingoftheland，andsimilarproblems。Paulhadalreadyheardhismother’sviews，andasthesewereasyethisown，hearguedforher。Miriamattended，andtookpart，butwasallthetimewaitinguntilitshouldbeover，andapersonalcommunicationmightbegin。
“Afterall，“shesaidwithinherself，“iftheland，werenationalized，EdgarandPaulandIwouldbejustthesame。”
Soshewaitedfortheyouthtocomebacktoher。
Hewasstudyingforhispainting。Helovedtositathome，alonewithhismother，atnight，workingandworking。Shesewed，orread。Then，lookingupfromhistask，hewouldresthiseyes，foramomentonherface，thatwasbrightwithlivingwarmth，andhereturnedgladlytohiswork。
“Icandomybestthingswhenyousitthereinyour，rocking-chair，mother，“hesaid。
“I’msure！”sheexclaimed，sniffingwithmockscepticism。
Butshefeltitwasso，andherheartquiveredwithbrightness。
Formanyhoursshesatstill，slightlyconsciousofhimlabouringaway，whilstsheworkedorreadherbook。Andhe，withallhissoul’s，intensitydirectinghispencil，couldfeelherwarmthinsidehim，likestrength。Theywerebothveryhappyso，andbothunconscious，ofit。Thesetimes，thatmeantsomuch，andwhichwererealliving，theyalmostignored。
Hewasconsciousonlywhenstimulated。Asketchfinished，healwayswantedtotakeittoMiriam。Thenhewasstimulated，intoknowledgeoftheworkhehadproducedunconsciously。
IncontactwithMiriamhegainedinsight;hisvisionwentdeeper。
Fromhismotherhedrewthelife-warmth，thestrengthtoproduce;
Miriamurgedthiswarmthintointensitylikeawhitelight。
Whenhereturnedtothefactorytheconditionsofworkwerebetter。
HehadWednesdayafternoonofftogototheArtSchool——
MissJordan’sprovision——returningintheevening。Thenthefactory，closedatsixinsteadofeightonThursdayandFridayevenings。
OneeveninginthesummerMiriamandhewentoverthefields，byHerod’sFarmontheirwayfromthelibraryhome。Soitwas，onlythreemilestoWilleyFarm。Therewasayellowglowoverthe，mowing-grass，andthesorrel-headsburnedcrimson。Gradually，asthey，walkedalongthehighland，thegoldinthewestsankdowntored，theredtocrimson，andthenthechillbluecreptupagainsttheglow。
TheycameoutuponthehighroadtoAlfreton，whichran，whitebetweenthedarkeningfields。TherePaulhesitated。
Itwastwomileshomeforhim，onemileforwardforMiriam。
Theybothlookeduptheroadthatraninshadowrightunderthe，glowofthenorth-westsky。Onthecrestofthehill，Selby，withitsstarkhousesandtheup-prickedheadstocksofthepit，stoodinblacksilhouettesmallagainstthesky。
Helookedathiswatch。
“Nineo’clock！”hesaid。
Thepairstood，lothtopart，huggingtheirbooks。
“Thewoodissolovelynow，“shesaid。”Iwantedyoutoseeit。”
Hefollowedherslowlyacrosstheroadtothewhitegate。
“TheygrumblesoifI’mlate，“hesaid。
“Butyou’renotdoinganythingwrong，“sheansweredimpatiently。
Hefollowedheracrossthenibbledpastureinthedusk。
Therewasacoolnessinthewood，ascentofleaves，ofhoneysuckle，andatwilight。Thetwowalkedinsilence。Nightcamewonderfullythere，amongthethrongofdarktree-trunks。Helookedround，expectant。
Shewantedtoshowhimacertainwild-rosebushshe，haddiscovered。Sheknewitwaswonderful。Andyet，tillhehadseenit，shefeltithadnotcomeintohersoul。
Onlyhecouldmakeitherown，immortal。Shewasdissatisfied。
Dewwasalreadyonthepaths。Intheoldoak-woodamist，wasrising，andhehesitated，wonderingwhetheronewhiteness，wereastrandoffogoronlycampion-flowerspallidinacloud。
Bythetimetheycametothepine-treesMiriamwasgettingvery，eagerandverytense。Herbushmightbegone。Shemightnotbe，abletofindit;andshewanteditsomuch。Almostpassionately，shewantedtobewithhimwhenbestoodbeforetheflowers。
Theyweregoingtohaveacommuniontogether——somethingthat，thrilledher，somethingholy。Hewaswalkingbesideherinsilence。
Theywereveryneartoeachother。Shetrembled，andhelistened，vaguelyanxious。
Comingtotheedgeofthewood，theysawtheskyinfront，likemother-of-pearl，andtheearthgrowingdark。Somewhereonthe，outermostbranchesofthepine-woodthehoneysucklewasstreamingscent。
“Where？”heasked。
“Downthemiddlepath，“shemurmured，quivering。
Whentheyturnedthecornerofthepathshestoodstill。
Inthewidewalkbetweenthepines，gazingratherfrightened，shecoulddistinguishnothingforsomemoments;thegreyinglight，robbedthingsoftheircolour。Thenshesawherbush。
“Ah！”shecried，hasteningforward。
Itwasverystill。Thetreewastallandstraggling。
Ithadthrownitsbriersoverahawthorn-bush，anditslong，streamerstrailedthick，rightdowntothegrass，splashingthe，darknesseverywherewithgreatspiltstars，purewhite。Inbosses，ofivoryandinlargesplashedstarstherosesgleamedonthe，darknessoffoliageandstemsandgrass。PaulandMiriamstood，closetogether，silent，andwatched。Pointafterpointthesteady，rosesshoneouttothem，seemingtokindlesomethingintheirsouls。
Theduskcamelikesmokearound，andstilldidnotputouttheroses。
PaullookedintoMiriam’seyes。Shewaspaleandexpectant，withwonder，herlipswereparted，andherdarkeyeslayopentohim。
Hislookseemedtotraveldownintoher。Hersoulquivered。
Itwasthecommunionshewanted。Heturnedaside，asifpained。
Heturnedtothebush。
“Theyseemasiftheywalklikebutterflies，andshakethemselves，“
hesaid。
Shelookedatherroses。Theywerewhite，someincurvedandholy，othersexpandedinanecstasy。Thetreewasdarkasashadow。
Sheliftedherhandimpulsivelytotheflowers;shewentforward，andtouchedtheminworship。
“Letusgo，“hesaid。
Therewasacoolscentofivoryroses——awhite，virginscent。
Somethingmadehimfeelanxiousandimprisoned。Thetwowalked，insilence。
“TillSunday，“hesaidquietly，andlefther;andshewalked，homeslowly，feelinghersoulsatisfiedwiththeholinessofthenight。
Hestumbleddownthepath。Andassoonashewasoutofthewood，inthefreeopenmeadow，wherehecouldbreathe，hestartedtorun，asfastashecould。Itwaslikeadeliciousdeliriuminhisveins。
AlwayswhenhewentwithMiriam，anditgrewratherlate，heknew，hismotherwasfrettingandgettingangryabouthim——why，hecould，notunderstand。Ashewentintothehouse，flingingdownhiscap，hismotherlookedupattheclock。Shehadbeensittingthinking，becauseachilltohereyespreventedherreading。Shecouldfeel，Paulbeingdrawnawaybythisgirl。AndshedidnotcareforMiriam。
“Sheisoneofthosewhowillwanttosuckaman’ssoulouttill，hehasnoneofhisownleft，“shesaidtoherself;“andheisjust，suchagabyastolethimselfbeabsorbed。Shewillneverlethim，becomeaman;sheneverwill。”，So，whilehewasawaywithMiriam，Mrs。Morelgrewmoreandmoreworkedup。
Sheglancedattheclockandsaid，coldlyandrathertired：
“Youhavebeenfarenoughto-night。”
Hissoul，warmandexposedfromcontactwiththegirl，shrank。
“Youmusthavebeenrighthomewithher，“hismothercontinued。
Hewouldnotanswer。Mrs。Morel，lookingathimquickly，sawhishairwasdamponhisforeheadwithhaste，sawhimfrowning，inhisheavyfashion，resentfully。
“Shemustbewonderfullyfascinating，thatyoucan’tgetaway，fromher，butmustgotrailingeightmilesatthistimeofnight。”
HewashurtbetweenthepastglamourwithMiriamandthe，knowledgethathismotherfretted。Hehadmeantnottosayanything，torefusetoanswer。Buthecouldnothardenhishearttoignore，hismother。
“IDOliketotalktoher，“heansweredirritably。
“Istherenobodyelsetotalkto？”
“Youwouldn’tsayanythingifIwentwithEdgar。”
“YouknowIshould。Youknow，whoeveryouwentwith，Ishouldsayitwastoofarforyoutogotrailing，lateatnight，whenyou’vebeentoNottingham。Besides“——hervoicesuddenlyflashed，intoangerandcontempt——“itisdisgusting——bits，ofladsandgirlscourting。”
“ItisNOTcourting，“hecried。
“Idon’tknowwhatelseyoucallit。”
“It’snot！，DoyouthinkweSPOONanddo？，Weonlytalk。”
“Tillgoodnessknowswhattimeanddistance，“wasthe，sarcasticrejoinder。
Paulsnappedatthelacesofhisbootsangrily。
“Whatareyousomadabout？”heasked。”Becauseyoudon’t，likeher。”
“Idon’tsayIdon’tlikeher。ButIdon’tholdwithchildren，keepingcompany，andneverdid。”
“Butyoudon’tmindourAnniegoingoutwithJimInger。”
“They’vemoresensethanyoutwo。”
“Why？”
“OurAnnie’snotoneofthedeepsort。”
Hefailedtoseethemeaningofthisremark。Buthismother，lookedtired。ShewasneversostrongafterWilliam’sdeath;
andhereyeshurther。
“Well，“hesaid，“it’ssoprettyinthecountry。Mr。Sleath，askedaboutyou。Hesaidhe’dmissedyou。Areyouabitbetter？”
“Ioughttohavebeeninbedalongtimeago，“shereplied。
“Why，mother，youknowyouwouldn’thavegonebefore，quarter-pastten。”
“Oh，yes，Ishould！”
“Oh，littlewoman，you’dsayanythingnowyou’redisagreeable，withme，wouldn’tyou？”
Hekissedherforeheadthatheknewsowell：，thedeepmarks，betweenthebrows，therisingofthefinehair，greyingnow，andthe，proudsettingofthetemples。Hishandlingeredonhershoulder，afterhiskiss。Thenhewentslowlytobed。HehadforgottenMiriam;
heonlysawhowhismother’shairwasliftedbackfromherwarm，broadbrow。Andsomehow，shewashurt。
ThenthenexttimehesawMiriamhesaidtoher：
“Don’tletmebelateto-night——notlaterthanteno’clock。My，mothergetssoupset。”
Miriamdroppedherbead，brooding。
“Whydoesshegetupset？”sheasked。
“BecauseshesaysIoughtn’ttobeoutlatewhenIhavetoget，upearly。”
“Verywell！”saidMiriam，ratherquietly，withjustatouch，ofasneer。
Heresentedthat。Andhewasusuallylateagain。
ThattherewasanylovegrowingbetweenhimandMiriamneither，ofthemwouldhaveacknowledged。Hethoughthewastoosanefor，suchsentimentality，andshethoughtherselftoolofty。Theybothwere，lateincomingtomaturity，andpsychicalripenesswasmuchbehind，eventhephysical。Miriamwasexceedinglysensitive，ashermother，hadalwaysbeen。Theslightestgrossnessmadeherrecoilalmost，inanguish。Herbrotherswerebrutal，butnevercoarseinspeech。
Themendidallthediscussingoffarmmattersoutside。But，perhaps，becauseofthecontinualbusinessofbirthandofbegettingwhichgoes，onuponeveryfarm，Miriamwasthemorehypersensitivetothematter，andherbloodwaschastenedalmosttodisgustofthefaintest，suggestionofsuchintercourse。Paultookhispitchfromher，andtheirintimacywentoninanutterlyblanchedandchastefashion。
Itcouldneverbementionedthatthemarewasinfoal。
Whenhewasnineteen，hewasearningonlytwentyshillingsaweek，buthewashappy。Hispaintingwentwell，andlifewentwellenough。
OntheGoodFridayheorganisedawalktotheHemlockStone。
Therewerethreeladsofhisownage，thenAnnieandArthur，MiriamandGeoffrey。Arthur，apprenticedasanelectrician，inNottingham，washomefortheholiday。Morel，asusual，wasupearly，whistlingandsawingintheyard。Atseveno’clockthefamilyheard，himbuythreepennyworthofhot-crossbuns;hetalkedwithgusto，tothelittlegirlwhobroughtthem，callingher“mydarling“。He，turnedawayseveralboyswhocamewithmorebuns，tellingthem，theyhadbeen“kested“byalittlelass。ThenMrs。Morelgotup，andthefamilystraggleddown。Itwasanimmenseluxurytoeverybody，thislyinginbedjustbeyondtheordinarytimeonaweekday。
AndPaulandArthurreadbeforebreakfast，andhadthemealunwashed，sittingintheirshirt-sleeves。Thiswasanotherholidayluxury。
Theroomwaswarm。Everythingfeltfreeofcareandanxiety。
Therewasasenseofplentyinthehouse。
Whiletheboyswerereading，Mrs。Morelwentintothegarden。
Theywerenowinanotherhouse，anoldone，neartheScargill，Streethome，whichhadbeenleftsoonafterWilliamhaddied。
Directlycameanexcitedcryfromthegarden：
“Paul！，Paul！，comeandlook！”
Itwashismother’svoice。Hethrewdownhisbookandwentout。
Therewasalonggardenthatrantoafield。Itwasagrey，coldday，withasharpwindblowingoutofDerbyshire。Twofieldsaway，Bestwoodbegan，withajumbleofroofsandredhouse-ends，outofwhich，rosethechurchtowerandthespireoftheCongregationalChapel。
Andbeyondwentwoodsandhills，rightawaytothepalegreyheights，ofthePennineChain。
Paullookeddownthegardenforhismother。Herheadappeared，amongtheyoungcurrant-bushes。
“Comehere！”shecried。
“Whatfor？”heanswered。
“Comeandsee。”
Shehadbeenlookingatthebudsonthecurranttrees。
Paulwentup。
“Tothink，“shesaid，“thathereImightneverhaveseenthem！”
Hersonwenttoherside。Underthefence，inalittlebed，wasaravelofpoorgrassyleaves，suchascomefromveryimmaturebulbs，andthreescyllasinbloom。Mrs。Morelpointedtothedeepblueflowers。
“Now，justseethose！”sheexclaimed。”Iwaslookingat，thecurrantbushes，when，thinksItomyself，’There’ssomething，veryblue;isitabitofsugar-bag？’andthere，beholdyou！
Sugar-bag！Threegloriesofthesnow，andsuchbeauties！
Butwhereonearthdidtheycomefrom？”
“Idon’tknow，“saidPaul。
“Well，that’samarvel，now！，ITHOUGHTIkneweveryweed，andbladeinthisgarden。ButHAVEN’Ttheydonewell？，Yousee，thatgooseberry-bushjustsheltersthem。Notnipped，nottouched！”
Hecroucheddownandturnedupthebellsofthelittle，blueflowers。
“They’reagloriouscolour！”hesaid。
“Aren’tthey！”shecried。”IguesstheycomefromSwitzerland，wheretheysaytheyhavesuchlovelythings。Fancythemagainst，thesnow！，Butwherehavetheycomefrom？，Theycan’thaveBLOWNhere，canthey？”
Thenherememberedhavingsetherealotoflittletrash，ofbulbstomature。
“Andyounevertoldme，“shesaid。
“No！，IthoughtI’dleaveittilltheymightflower。”
“Andnow，yousee！，Imighthavemissedthem。AndI’venever，hadagloryofthesnowinmygardeninmylife。”
Shewasfullofexcitementandelation。Thegardenwas，anendlessjoytoher。Paulwasthankfulforhersakeatlast，tobeinahousewithalonggardenthatwentdowntoafield。
Everymorningafterbreakfastshewentoutandwashappypottering，aboutinit。Anditwastrue，shekneweveryweedandblade。
Everybodyturnedupforthewalk。Foodwaspacked，andthey，setoff，amerry，delightedparty。Theyhungoverthewallofthe，mill-race，droppedpaperinthewaterononesideofthetunnel，andwatcheditshootoutontheother。Theystoodonthefoot-bridge，overBoathouseStationandlookedatthemetalsgleamingcoldly。
“YoushouldseetheFlyingScotsmancomethroughathalf-pastsix！”
saidLeonard，whosefatherwasasignalman。”Lad，butshedoesn’t，halfbuzz！”andthelittlepartylookedupthelinesoneway，toLondon，andtheotherway，toScotland，andtheyfeltthetouch，ofthesetwomagicalplaces。
InIlkestonthecollierswerewaitingingangsforthe，public-housestoopen。Itwasatownofidlenessandlounging。
AtStantonGatetheironfoundryblazed。Overeverythingtherewere，greatdiscussions。AtTrowelltheycrossedagainfromDerbyshire，intoNottinghamshire。TheycametotheHemlockStoneatdinner-time。
ItsfieldwascrowdedwithfolkfromNottinghamandIlkeston。
Theyhadexpectedavenerableanddignifiedmonument。
Theyfoundalittle，gnarled，twistedstumpofrock，somethinglikea，decayedmushroom，standingoutpatheticallyonthesideofafield。
LeonardandDickimmediatelyproceededtocarvetheirinitials，“L。W。”and“R。P。”，intheoldredsandstone;butPauldesisted，becausehehadreadinthenewspapersatiricalremarksabout，initial-carvers，whocouldfindnootherroadtoimmortality。
Thenalltheladsclimbedtothetopoftherocktolookround。
Everywhereinthefieldbelow，factorygirlsandladswereeating，lunchorsportingabout。Beyondwasthegardenofanoldmanor。
Ithadyew-hedgesandthickclumpsandborders，ofyellowcrocusesroundthelawn。
“See，“saidPaultoMiriam，“whataquietgarden！”
Shesawthedarkyewsandthegoldencrocuses，thenshe，lookedgratefully。Hehadnotseemedtobelongtoheramongall，theseothers;hewasdifferentthen——notherPaul，whounderstood，theslightestquiverofherinnermostsoul，butsomethingelse，speakinganotherlanguagethanhers。Howithurther，anddeadened，herveryperceptions。Onlywhenhecamerightbacktoher，leavinghisother，hislesserself，asshethought，wouldshe，feelaliveagain。Andnowheaskedhertolookatthisgarden，wantingthecontactwithheragain。Impatientofthesetinthefield，sheturnedtothequietlawn，surroundedbysheavesofshut-upcrocuses。
Afeelingofstillness，almostofecstasy，cameoverher。
Itfeltalmostasifshewerealonewithhiminthisgarden。
Thenheleftheragainandjoinedtheothers。Soonthey，startedhome。Miriamloiteredbehind，alone。Shedidnot，fitinwiththeothers;shecouldveryrarelygetintohuman，relationswithanyone：，soherfriend，hercompanion，herlover，wasNature。Shesawthesundecliningwanly。Inthedusky，coldhedgerowsweresomeredleaves。Shelingeredtogatherthem，tenderly，passionately。Theloveinherfinger-tipscaressed，theleaves;thepassioninherheartcametoaglowupontheleaves。
Suddenlysherealisedshewasaloneinastrangeroad，andshehurriedforward。Turningacornerinthelane，shecame，uponPaul，whostoodbentoversomething，hismindfixedonit，workingawaysteadily，patiently，alittlehopelessly。Shehesitated，inherapproach，towatch。
Heremainedconcentratedinthemiddleoftheroad。Beyond，oneriftofrichgoldinthatcolourlessgreyeveningseemedtomake，himstandoutindarkrelief。Shesawhim，slenderandfirm，asifthesettingsunhadgivenhimtoher。Adeeppaintookhold，ofher，andsheknewshemustlovehim。Andshehaddiscoveredhim，discoveredinhimararepotentiality，discoveredhisloneliness。
Quiveringasatsome“annunciation“shewentslowlyforward。
Atlasthelookedup。
“Why，“heexclaimedgratefully，“haveyouwaitedforme！”
Shesawadeepshadowinhiseyes。
“Whatisit？”sheasked。
“Thespringbrokenhere;“andheshowedherwherehisumbrella，wasinjured。
Instantly，withsomeshame，sheknewhehadnotdone，thedamagehimself，butthatGeoffreywasresponsible。
“Itisonlyanoldumbrella，isn’tit？”sheasked。
Shewonderedwhyhe，whodidnotusuallytroubleovertrifles，madesuchamountainofthismolehill。
“ButitwasWilliam’san’mymothercan’thelpbutknow，“
hesaidquietly，stillpatientlyworkingattheumbrella。
ThewordswentthroughMiriamlikeablade。This，then，wasthe，confirmationofhervisionofhim！，Shelookedathim。Butthere，wasabouthimacertainreserve，andshedarednotcomforthim，notevenspeaksoftlytohim。
“Comeon，“hesaid。”Ican’tdoit;“andtheywentinsilence，alongtheroad。
Thatsameeveningtheywerewalkingalongunderthetrees，byNetherGreen。Hewastalkingtoherfretfully，seemedtobe，strugglingtoconvincehimself。
“Youknow，“hesaid，withaneffort，“ifonepersonloves，theotherdoes。”
“Ah！”sheanswered。”LikemothersaidtomewhenIwaslittle，’Lovebegetslove。’“
“Yes，somethinglikethat，IthinkitMUSTbe。”
“Ihopeso，because，ifitwerenot，lovemightbeavery，terriblething，“shesaid。
“Yes，butitIS——atleastwithmostpeople，“heanswered。
AndMiriam，thinkinghehadassuredhimself，feltstrong，inherself。Shealwaysregardedthatsuddencominguponhim，inthelaneasarevelation。Andthisconversationremained，graveninhermindasoneofthelettersofthelaw。
Nowshestoodwithhimandforhim。When，aboutthistime，heoutragedthefamilyfeelingatWilleyFarmbysomeoverbearinginsult，shestucktohim，andbelievedhewasright。Andatthistimeshe，dreameddreamsofhim，vivid，unforgettable。Thesedreamscame，againlateron，developedtoamoresubtlepsychologicalstage。
OntheEasterMondaythesamepartytookanexcursion，toWingfieldManor。ItwasgreatexcitementtoMiriamtocatcha，trainatSethleyBridge，amidallthebustleoftheBankHolidaycrowd。
TheyleftthetrainatAlfreton。Paulwasinterestedinthe，streetandinthecollierswiththeirdogs。Herewasanewrace，ofminers。Miriamdidnotlivetilltheycametothechurch。
Theywereallrathertimidofentering，withtheirbagsoffood，forfearofbeingturnedout。Leonard，acomic，thinfellow，wentfirst;Paul，whowouldhavediedratherthanbesentback，wentlast。TheplacewasdecoratedforEaster。Inthefonthundreds，ofwhitenarcissiseemedtobegrowing。Theairwasdimandcoloured，fromthewindowsandthrilledwithasubtlescentoflilies，andnarcissi。InthatatmosphereMiriam’ssoulcameintoaglow。
Paulwasafraidofthethingshemustn’tdo;andhewassensitive，tothefeeloftheplace。Miriamturnedtohim。Heanswered。
Theyweretogether。HewouldnotgobeyondtheCommunion-rail。She，lovedhimforthat。Hersoulexpandedintoprayerbesidehim。
Hefeltthestrangefascinationofshadowyreligiousplaces。
Allhislatentmysticismquiveredintolife。Shewasdrawntohim。
Hewasaprayeralongwithher。
Miriamveryrarelytalkedtotheotherlads。Theyatonce，becameawkwardinconversationwithher。Sousuallyshewassilent。
Itwaspastmiddaywhentheyclimbedthesteeppathtothemanor。
Allthingsshonesoftlyinthesun，whichwaswonderfullywarm，andenlivening。Celandinesandvioletswereout。Everybodywas，tip-topfullwithhappiness。Theglitteroftheivy，thesoft，atmosphericgreyofthecastlewalls，thegentlenessofeverything，neartheruin，wasperfect。
Themanorisofhard，palegreystone，andtheotherwalls，areblankandcalm。Theyoungfolkwereinraptures。Theywent，intrepidation，almostafraidthatthedelightofexploringthis，ruinmightbedeniedthem。Inthefirstcourtyard，withinthehigh，brokenwalls，werefarm-carts，withtheirshaftslyingidleon，theground，thetyresofthewheelsbrilliantwithgold-redrust。
Itwasverystill。
Alleagerlypaidtheirsixpences，andwenttimidlythrough，thefinecleanarchoftheinnercourtyard。Theywereshy。
Hereonthepavement，wherethehallhadbeen，anoldthorntree，wasbudding。Allkindsofstrangeopeningsandbrokenroomswere，intheshadowaroundthem。
Afterlunchtheysetoffoncemoretoexploretheruin。
Thistimethegirlswentwiththeboys，whocouldactasguides，andexpositors。Therewasonetalltowerinacorner，rathertottering，wheretheysayMaryQueenofScotswasimprisoned。
“ThinkoftheQueengoinguphere！”saidMiriaminalowvoice，assheclimbedthehollowstairs。
“Ifshecouldgetup，“saidPaul，“forshehadrheumatism，likeanything。Ireckontheytreatedherrottenly。”
“Youdon’tthinkshedeservedit？”askedMiriam。
“No，Idon’t。Shewasonlylively。”
Theycontinuedtomountthewindingstaircase。Ahighwind，blowingthroughtheloopholes，wentrushinguptheshaft，andfilledthegirl’sskirtslikeaballoon，sothatshewasashamed，untilhetookthehemofherdressandhelditdownforher。
Hediditperfectlysimply，ashewouldhavepickedupherglove。
Sherememberedthisalways。
Roundthebrokentopofthetowertheivybushedout，oldandhandsome。Also，therewereafewchillgillivers，inpalecoldbud。Miriamwantedtoleanoverforsomeivy，buthewouldnotlether。Instead，shehadtowaitbehindhim，andtakefromhimeachsprayashegathereditandheldittoher，eachoneseparately，inthepurestmannerofchivalry。Thetower，seemedtorockinthewind。Theylookedovermilesandmiles，ofwoodedcountry，andcountrywithgleamsofpasture。
Thecryptunderneaththemanorwasbeautiful，andin，perfectpreservation。Paulmadeadrawing：，Miriamstayedwithhim。
ShewasthinkingofMaryQueenofScotslookingwithherstrained，hopelesseyes，thatcouldnotunderstandmisery，overthehills，whencenohelpcame，orsittinginthiscrypt，beingtoldofaGod，ascoldastheplaceshesatin。
Theysetoffagaingaily，lookingroundontheirbelovedmanor，thatstoodsocleanandbigonitshill。
“SupposingyoucouldhaveTHATfarm，“saidPaultoMiriam。
“Yes！”
“Wouldn’titbelovelytocomeandseeyou！”
Theywerenowinthebarecountryofstonewalls，whichheloved，andwhich，thoughonlytenmilesfromhome，seemedsoforeign，toMiriam。Thepartywasstraggling。Astheywerecrossinga，largemeadowthatslopedawayfromthesun，alongapathembedded，withinnumerabletinyglitteringpoints，Paul，walking，alongside，lacedhisfingersinthestringsofthebagMiriam，wascarrying，andinstantlyshefeltAnniebehind，watchfulandjealous。
Butthemeadowwasbathedinagloryofsunshine，andthepath，wasjewelled，anditwasseldomthathegaveheranysign。
Sheheldherfingersverystillamongthestringsofthebag，hisfingerstouching;andtheplacewasgoldenasavision。
AtlasttheycameintothestragglinggreyvillageofCrich，thatlieshigh。BeyondthevillagewasthefamousCrichStand，thatPaulcouldseefromthegardenathome。Thepartypushedon。
Greatexpanseofcountryspreadaroundandbelow。Theladswere，eagertogettothetopofthehill。Itwascappedbyaroundknoll，halfofwhichwasbynowcutaway，andonthetopofwhichstood，anancientmonument，sturdyandsquat，forsignallinginolddaysfar，downintothelevellandsofNottinghamshireandLeicestershire。
Itwasblowingsohard，highupthereintheexposedplace，thattheonlywaytobesafewastostandnailedbythewind，tothewanofthetower。Attheirfeetfelltheprecipice，wherethelimestonewasquarriedaway。Belowwasajumbleof，hillsandtinyvillages——Mattock，Ambergate，StoneyMiddleton。
TheladswereeagertospyoutthechurchofBestwood，faraway，amongtherathercrowdedcountryontheleft。Theyweredisgusted，thatitseemedtostandonaplain。TheysawthehillsofDerbyshire，fallintothemonotonyoftheMidlandsthatsweptawaySouth。
Miriamwassomewhatscaredbythewind，buttheladsenjoyedit。
Theywenton，milesandmiles，toWhatstandwell。Allthefood，waseaten，everybodywashungry，andtherewasverylittlemoneytoget，homewith。Buttheymanagedtoprocurealoafandacurrant-loaf，whichtheyhackedtopieceswithshut-knives，andatesittingon，thewallnearthebridge，watchingthebrightDerwentrushingby，andthebrakesfromMatlockpullingupattheinn。
Paulwasnowpalewithweariness。Hehadbeenresponsible，forthepartyallday，andnowhewasdone。Miriamunderstood，andkeptclosetohim，andhelefthimselfinherhands。
TheyhadanhourtowaitatAmbergateStation。Trainscame，crowdedwithexcursionistsreturningtoManchester，Birmingham，andLondon。
“Wemightbegoingthere——folkeasilymightthinkwe’regoing，thatfar，“saidPaul。
Theygotbackratherlate。Miriam，walkinghomewithGeoffrey，watchedthemoonrisebigandredandmisty。Shefeltsomething，wasfulfilledinher。
Shehadaneldersister，Agatha，whowasaschool-teacher。
Betweenthetwogirlswasafeud。MiriamconsideredAgathaworldly。
Andshewantedherselftobeaschool-teacher。
OneSaturdayafternoonAgathaandMiriamwereupstairsdressing。
Theirbedroomwasoverthestable。Itwasalowroom，notverylarge，andbare。MiriamhadnailedonthewallareproductionofVeronese’s，“St。Catherine“。Shelovedthewomanwhosatinthewindow，dreaming。
Herownwindowsweretoosmalltositin。Butthefrontonewas，drippedoverwithhoneysuckleandvirginiacreeper，andlooked，uponthetree-topsoftheoak-woodacrosstheyard，whilethe，littlebackwindow，nobiggerthanahandkerchief，wasaloophole，totheeast，tothedawnbeatingupagainstthebelovedroundhills。
Thetwosistersdidnottalkmuchtoeachother。Agatha，whowasfairandsmallanddetermined，hadrebelledagainst，thehomeatmosphere，againstthedoctrineof“theothercheek“。
Shewasoutintheworldnow，inafairwaytobeindependent。
Andsheinsistedonworldlyvalues，onappearance，onmanners，onposition，whichMiriamwouldfainhaveignored。
Bothgirlslikedtobeupstairs，outoftheway，whenPaulcame。
Theypreferredtocomerunningdown，openthestair-footdoor，andseehimwatching，expectantofthem。Miriamstoodpainfully，pullingoverherheadarosaryhehadgivenher。Itcaught，inthefinemeshofherhair。Butatlastshehaditon，andthe，red-brownwoodenbeadslookedwellagainsthercoolbrownneck。
Shewasawell-developedgirl，andveryhandsome。Butinthelittle，looking-glassnailedagainstthewhitewashedwallshecouldonlysee，afragmentofherselfatatime。Agathahadboughtalittlemirror，ofherown，whichsheproppeduptosuitherself。Miriamwasnear，thewindow。Suddenlysheheardthewell-knownclickofthechain，andshesawPaulflingopenthegate，pushhisbicycleintotheyard。
Shesawhimlookatthehouse，andsheshrankaway。Hewalked，inanonchalantfashion，andhisbicyclewentwithhimasifit，werealivething。
“Paul’scome！”sheexclaimed。
“Aren’tyouglad？”saidAgathacuttingly。
Miriamstoodstillinamazementandbewilderment。
“Well，aren’tyou？”sheasked。
“Yes，butI’mnotgoingtolethimseeit，andthinkIwantedhim。”
Miriamwasstartled。Sheheardhimputtinghisbicycleinthe，stableunderneath，andtalkingtoJimmy，whohadbeenapit-horse，andwhowasseedy。
“Well，Jimmymylad，howareter？，Nobbutsickan’
sadly，like？，Why，then，it’sashame，myowdlad。”
Sheheardtheroperunthroughtheholeasthehorseliftedits，headfromthelad’scaress。Howshelovedtolistenwhenhethought，onlythehorsecouldhear。ButtherewasaserpentinherEden。
ShesearchedearnestlyinherselftoseeifshewantedPaulMorel。
Shefelttherewouldbesomedisgraceinit。Fulloftwistedfeeling，shewasafraidshedidwanthim。Shestoodself-convicted。Then，cameanagonyofnewshame。Sheshrankwithinherselfinacoil，oftorture。DidshewantPaulMorel，anddidheknowshewantedhim？
Whatasubtleinfamyuponher。Shefeltasifherwholesoulcoiled，intoknotsofshame。
Agathawasdressedfirst，andrandownstairs。Miriamheard，hergreettheladgaily，knewexactlyhowbrillianthergrey，eyesbecamewiththattone。Sheherselfwouldhavefeltitbold，tohavegreetedhiminsuchwise。Yetthereshestoodunderthe，self-accusationofwantinghim，tiedtothatstakeoftorture。
Inbitterperplexityshekneeleddownandprayed：
“OLord，letmenotlovePaulMorel。Keepmefromlovinghim，ifIoughtnottolovehim。”
Somethinganomalousintheprayerarrestedher。Shelifted，herheadandpondered。Howcoulditbewrongtolovehim？，Lovewas，God’sgift。Andyetitcausedhershame。Thatwasbecauseofhim，PaulMorel。But，then，itwasnothisaffair，itwasherown，betweenherselfandGod。Shewastobeasacrifice。Butitwas，God’ssacrifice，notPaulMorel’sorherown。Afterafewminutes，shehidherfaceinthepillowagain，andsaid：
“But，Lord，ifitisThywillthatIshouldlovehim，makemelovehim——asChristwould，whodiedforthesoulsofmen。
Makemelovehimsplendidly，becauseheisThyson。”
Sheremainedkneelingforsometime，quitestill，anddeeplymoved，herblackhairagainsttheredsquaresandthelavender-sprigged，squaresofthepatchworkquilt。Prayerwasalmostessentialtoher。
Thenshefellintothatraptureofself-sacrifice，identifyingherselfwithaGodwhowassacrificed，whichgives，tosomanyhumansoulstheirdeepestbliss。
WhenshewentdownstairsPaulwaslyingbackinanarmchair，holdingforthwithmuchvehemencetoAgatha，whowasscorningalittle，paintinghehadbroughttoshowher。Miriamglancedatthetwo，andavoidedtheirlevity。Shewentintotheparlourtobealone。
Itwastea-timebeforeshewasabletospeaktoPaul，andthen，hermannerwassodistanthethoughthehadoffendedher。
MiriamdiscontinuedherpracticeofgoingeachThursdayevening，tothelibraryinBestwood。AftercallingforPaulregularly，duringthewholespring，anumberoftriflingincidentsandtiny，insultsfromhisfamilyawakenedhertotheirattitudetowardsher，andshedecidedtogonomore。SosheannouncedtoPauloneevening，shewouldnotcallathishouseagainforhimonThursdaynights。
“Why？”heasked，veryshort。
“Nothing。OnlyI’drathernot。”
“Verywell。”
“But，“shefaltered，“ifyou’dcaretomeetme，wecouldstill，gotogether。”
“Meetyouwhere？”
“Somewhere——whereyoulike。”
“Ishan’tmeetyouanywhere。Idon’tseewhyyoushouldn’t，keepcallingforme。Butifyouwon’t，Idon’twanttomeetyou。”
SotheThursdayeveningswhichhadbeensoprecioustoher，andtohim，weredropped。Heworkedinstead。Mrs。Morelsniffed，withsatisfactionatthisarrangement。
Hewouldnothaveitthattheywerelovers。Theintimacy，betweenthemhadbeenkeptsoabstract，suchamatterofthesoul，allthoughtandwearystruggleintoconsciousness，thathesawitonly，asaplatonicfriendship。Hestoutlydeniedtherewasanythingelse，betweenthem。Miriamwassilent，orelsesheveryquietlyagreed。
Hewasafoolwhodidnotknowwhatwashappeningtohimself。
Bytacitagreementtheyignoredtheremarksandinsinuationsof，theiracquaintances。
“Wearen’tlovers，wearefriends，“hesaidtoher。”WEknowit。
Letthemtalk。Whatdoesitmatterwhattheysay。”
Sometimes，astheywerewalkingtogether，sheslippedherarm，timidlyintohis。Buthealwaysresentedit，andsheknewit。
Itcausedaviolentconflictinhim。WithMiriamhewasalways，onthehighplaneofabstraction，whenhisnaturalfireoflovewas，transmittedintothefinestreamofthought。Shewouldhaveitso。
Ifhewerejollyand，assheputit，flippant，shewaitedtillhecame，backtoher，tillthechangehadtakenplaceinhimagain，andhe，waswrestlingwithhisownsoul，frowning，passionateinhisdesire，forunderstanding。Andinthispassionforunderstandinghersoul，layclosetohis;shehadhimalltoherself。Buthemustbemade，abstractfirst。
Then，ifsheputherarminhis，itcausedhimalmosttorture。
Hisconsciousnessseemedtosplit。Theplacewhereshewastouching，himranhotwithfriction。Hewasoneinternecinebattle，andhe，becamecrueltoherbecauseofit。
OneeveninginmidsummerMiriamcalledatthehouse，warmfromclimbing。Paulwasaloneinthekitchen;hismother，couldbeheardmovingaboutupstairs。
“Comeandlookatthesweet-peas，“hesaidtothegirl。
Theywentintothegarden。Theskybehindthetownletandthe，churchwasorange-red;theflower-gardenwasfloodedwithastrange，warmlightthatliftedeveryleafintosignificance。Paulpassed，alongafinerowofsweet-peas，gatheringablossomhereandthere，allcreamandpaleblue。Miriamfollowed，breathingthefragrance。
Toher，flowersappealedwithsuchstrengthshefeltshemust，makethempartofherself。Whenshebentandbreathedaflower，itwasasifsheandtheflowerwerelovingeachother。Paulhated，herforit。Thereseemedasortofexposureabouttheaction，somethingtoointimate。
Whenhehadgotafairbunch，theyreturnedtothehouse。
Helistenedforamomenttohismother’squietmovementupstairs，thenhesaid：
“Comehere，andletmepintheminforyou。”，Hearrangedthem，twoorthreeatatimeinthebosomofherdress，steppingback，nowandthentoseetheeffect。”Youknow，“hesaid，takingthepin，outofhismouth，“awomanoughtalwaystoarrangeherflowers，beforeherglass。”
Miriamlaughed。Shethoughtflowersoughttobepinned，inone’sdresswithoutanycare。ThatPaulshouldtakepains，tofixherflowersforherwashiswhim。
Hewasratheroffendedatherlaughter。
“Somewomendo——thosewholookdecent，“hesaid。
Miriamlaughedagain，butmirthlessly，tohearhimthusmix，herupwithwomeninageneralway。Frommostmenshewouldhave，ignoredit。Butfromhimithurther。
Hehadnearlyfinishedarrangingtheflowerswhenheheard，hismother’sfootsteponthestairs。Hurriedlyhepushed，inthelastpinandturnedaway。
“Don’tletmaterknow，“hesaid。
Miriampickedupherbooksandstoodinthedoorwaylooking，withchagrinatthebeautifulsunset。ShewouldcallforPaul，nomore，shesaid。
“Good-evening，Mrs。Morel，“shesaid，inadeferentialway。
Shesoundedasifshefeltshehadnorighttobethere。
“Oh，isityou，Miriam？”repliedMrs。Morelcoolly。
ButPaulinsistedoneverybody’sacceptinghisfriendship，withthegirl，andMrs。Morelwastoowisetohaveanyopenrupture。
Itwasnottillhewastwentyyearsoldthatthefamilycould，everaffordtogoawayforaholiday。Mrs。Morelhadneverbeenaway，foraholiday，excepttoseehersister，sinceshehadbeenmarried。
NowatlastPaulhadsavedenoughmoney，andtheywereallgoing。
Therewastobeaparty：，someofAnnie’sfriends，onefriendofPaul’s，ayoungmaninthesameofficewhereWilliamhadpreviouslybeen，andMiriam。
Itwasgreatexcitementwritingforrooms。Paulandhis，motherdebateditendlesslybetweenthem。Theywantedafurnished，cottagefortwoweeks。Shethoughtoneweekwouldbeenough，butheinsistedontwo。
AtlasttheygotananswerfromMablethorpe，acottagesuchasthey，wishedforthirtyshillingsaweek。Therewasimmensejubilation。
Paulwaswildwithjoyforhismother’ssake。Shewouldhave，arealholidaynow。Heandshesatateveningpicturingwhatit，wouldbelike。Anniecamein，andLeonard，andAlice，andKitty。
Therewaswildrejoicingandanticipation。PaultoldMiriam。
Sheseemedtobroodwithjoyoverit。ButtheMorel’shouserang，withexcitement。
TheyweretogoonSaturdaymorningbytheseventrain。
PaulsuggestedthatMiriamshouldsleepathishouse，becauseit，wassofarforhertowalk。Shecamedownforsupper。
EverybodywassoexcitedthatevenMiriamwasacceptedwithwarmth。
Butalmostassoonassheenteredthefeelinginthefamilybecamecloseandtight。
HehaddiscoveredapoembyJeanIngelowwhichmentionedMablethorpe，andsohemustreadittoMiriam。Hewouldneverhavegotsofarin，thedirectionofsentimentalityastoreadpoetrytohisownfamily。
Butnowtheycondescendedtolisten。Miriamsatonthesofa，absorbedinhim。Shealwaysseemedabsorbedinhim，andbyhim，whenhewaspresent。Mrs。Morelsatjealouslyinherownchair。
Shewasgoingtohearalso。AndevenAnnieandthefatherattended，Morelwithhisheadcockedononeside，likesomebodylistening，toasermonandfeelingconsciousofthefact。Paulduckedhishead，overthebook。Hehadgotnowalltheaudiencehecaredfor。
AndMrs。MorelandAnniealmostcontestedwithMiriamwhoshouldlisten，bestandwinhisfavour。Hewasinveryhighfeather。
“But，“interruptedMrs。Morel，“whatISthe’BrideofEnderby’
thatthebellsaresupposedtoring？”
“It’sanoldtunetheyusedtoplayonthebellsforawarning，againstwater。IsupposetheBrideofEnderbywasdrownedinaflood，“
hereplied。Hehadnotthefaintestknowledgewhatitreallywas，buthewouldneverhavesunksolowastoconfessthattohiswomenfolk。
Theylistenedandbelievedhim。Hebelievedhimself。
“Andthepeopleknewwhatthattunemeant？”saidhismother。
“Yes——justliketheScotchwhentheyheard’TheFlowerso’
theForest’——andwhentheyusedtoringthebellsbackwardforalarm。”
“How？”saidAnnie。”Abellsoundsthesamewhetherit’srung，backwardsorforwards。”
“But，“hesaid，“ifyoustartwiththedeepbellandringup，tothehighone——der——der——der——der——der——der——der——der！”
Heranupthescale。Everybodythoughtitclever。Hethought，sotoo。Then，waitingaminute，hecontinuedthepoem。
“Hm！”saidMrs。Morelcuriously，whenhefinished。”ButI
wisheverythingthat’swrittenweren’tsosad。”
“Icannaseewhattheywantdrownin’theirselvesfor，“
saidMorel。
Therewasapause。Anniegotuptoclearthetable。
Miriamrosetohelpwiththepots。
“LetMEhelptowashup，“shesaid。
“Certainlynot，“criedAnnie。”Yousitdownagain。
Therearen’tmany。”
AndMiriam，whocouldnotbefamiliarandinsist，satdown，againtolookatthebookwithPaul。
Hewasmasteroftheparty;hisfatherwasnogood。Andgreat，tortureshesufferedlestthetinboxshouldbeputoutatFirsby，insteadofatMablethorpe。Andhewasn’tequaltogettingacarriage。
Hisboldlittlemotherdidthat。
“Here！”shecriedtoaman。”Here！”
PaulandAnniegotbehindtherest，convulsedwithshamedlaughter。
“HowmuchwillitbetodrivetoBrookCottage？”saidMrs。Morel。
“Twoshillings。”
“Why，howfarisit？”
“Agoodway。”
“Idon’tbelieveit，“shesaid。
Butshescrambledin。Therewereeightcrowdedinoneold，seasidecarriage。
“Yousee，“saidMrs。Morel，“it’sonlythreepenceeach，andifitwereatramcar——“
Theydrovealong。Eachcottagetheycameto，Mrs。Morelcried：
“Isitthis？，Now，thisisit！”
Everybodysatbreathless。Theydrovepast。Therewas，auniversalsigh。
“I’mthankfulitwasn’tthatbrute，“saidMrs。Morel。
“IWASfrightened。”，Theydroveonandon。
Atlasttheydescendedatahousethatstoodaloneover，thedykebythehighroad。Therewaswildexcitementbecausethey，hadtocrossalittlebridgetogetintothefrontgarden。
Buttheylovedthehousethatlaysosolitary，withasea-meadow，ononeside，andimmenseexpanseoflandpatchedinwhitebarley，yellowoats，redwheat，andgreenroot-crops，flatandstretching，leveltothesky。
Paulkeptaccounts。Heandhismotherrantheshow。
Thetotalexpenses——lodging，food，everything——wassixteenshillings，aweekperperson。HeandLeonardwentbathinginthemornings。
Morelwaswanderingabroadquiteearly。
“You，Paul，“hismothercalledfromthebedroom，“eatapiece，ofbread-and-butter。”
“Allright，“heanswered。
Andwhenhegotbackhesawhismotherpresidinginstateat，thebreakfast-table。Thewomanofthehousewasyoung。Herhusband，wasblind，andshedidlaundrywork。SoMrs。Morelalwayswashed，thepotsinthekitchenandmadethebeds。
“Butyousaidyou’dhavearealholiday，“saidPaul，“andnow，youwork。”
“Work！”sheexclaimed。”Whatareyoutalkingabout！”
Helovedtogowithheracrossthefieldstothevillage，andthesea。Shewasafraidoftheplankbridge，andheabusedher，forbeingababy。OnthewholehestucktoherasifhewereHERman。
Miriamdidnotgetmuchofhim，except，perhaps，whenallthe，otherswenttothe“Coons“。CoonswereinsufferablystupidtoMiriam，sohethoughttheyweretohimselfalso，andhepreachedpriggishly，toAnnieaboutthefatuityoflisteningtothem。Yethe，too，knewalltheirsongs，andsangthemalongtheroadsroisterously。
Andifhefoundhimselflistening，thestupiditypleasedhimverymuch。
YettoAnniehesaid：
“Suchrot！thereisn’tagrainofintelligenceinit。Nobodywith，moregumptionthanagrasshoppercouldgoandsitandlisten。”
AndtoMiriamhesaid，withmuchscornofAnnieandtheothers：
“Isupposethey’reatthe’Coons’。”
ItwasqueertoseeMiriamsingingcoonsongs。Shehadastraight，chinthatwentinaperpendicularlinefromthelowerliptotheturn。
ShealwaysremindedPaulofsomesadBotticelliangelwhenshesang，evenwhenitwas：
“Comedownlover’slane，Forawalkwithme，talkwithme。”
Onlywhenhesketched，orateveningwhentheotherswereat，the“Coons“shehadhimtoherself。Hetalkedtoherendlessly，abouthisloveofhorizontals：，howthey，thegreatlevelsofsky，andlandinLincolnshire，meanttohimtheeternalityofthewill，justasthebowedNormanarchesofthechurch，repeatingthemselves，meantthedoggedleapingforwardofthepersistenthumansoul，onandon，nobodyknowswhere;incontradictiontotheperpendicular，linesandtotheGothicarch，which，hesaid，leaptupatheavenand，touchedtheecstasyandlostitselfinthedivine。Himself，hesaid，wasNorman，MiriamwasGothic。Shebowedinconsenteventothat。
Oneeveningheandshewentupthegreatsweepingshore，ofsandtowardsTheddlethorpe。Thelongbreakersplungedandran，inahissoffoamalongthecoast。Itwasawarmevening。
Therewasnotafigurebutthemselvesonthefarreachesofsand，nonoisebutthesoundofthesea。Paullovedtoseeitclanging，attheland。Helovedtofeelhimselfbetweenthenoiseofit，andthesilenceofthesandyshore。Miriamwaswithhim。
Everythinggrewveryintense。Itwasquitedarkwhenthey，turnedagain。Thewayhomewasthroughagapinthesandhills，andthenalongaraisedgrassroadbetweentwodykes。Thecountry，wasblackandstill。Frombehindthesandhillscamethewhisper，ofthesea。PaulandMiriamwalkedinsilence。Suddenlyhestarted。
Thewholeofhisbloodseemedtoburstintoflame，andhecould，scarcelybreathe。Anenormousorangemoonwasstaringatthem，fromtherimofthesandhills。Hestoodstill，lookingatit。
“Ah！”criedMiriam，whenshesawit。
Heremainedperfectlystill，staringattheimmenseandruddy，moon，theonlythinginthefar-reachingdarknessofthelevel。
Hisheartbeatheavily，themusclesofhisarmscontracted。
“Whatisit？”murmuredMiriam，waitingforhim。
Heturnedandlookedather。Shestoodbesidehim，forever，inshadow。Herface，coveredwiththedarknessofherhat，waswatching，himunseen。Butshewasbrooding。Shewasslightlyafraid——deeply，movedandreligious。Thatwasherbeststate。Hewasimpotent，againstit。Hisbloodwasconcentratedlikeaflameinhischest。
Buthecouldnotgetacrosstoher。Therewereflashesinhisblood。
Butsomehowsheignoredthem。Shewasexpectingsomereligious，stateinhim。Stillyearning，shewashalfawareofhispassion，andgazedathim，troubled。
“Whatisit？”shemurmuredagain。
“It’sthemoon，“heanswered，frowning。
“Yes，“sheassented。”Isn’titwonderful？”Shewascurious，abouthim。Thecrisiswaspast。
Hedidnotknowhimselfwhatwasthematter。Hewasnaturally，soyoung，andtheirintimacywassoabstract，hedidnotknowhe，wantedtocrushherontohisbreasttoeasetheachethere。
Hewasafraidofher。Thefactthathemightwantherasamanwants，awomanhadinhimbeensuppressedintoashame。Whensheshrank，inherconvulsed，coiledtorturefromthethoughtofsuch，athing，hehadwincedtothedepthsofhissoul。Andnowthis，“purity“preventedeventheirfirstlove-kiss。Itwasasifshecould，scarcelystandtheshockofphysicallove，evenapassionatekiss，andthenhewastooshrinkingandsensitivetogiveit。
Astheywalkedalongthedarkfen-meadowhewatchedthemoon，anddidnotspeak。Sheploddedbesidehim。Hehatedher，forshe，seemedinsomewaytomakehimdespisehimself。Lookingahead——hesaw，theonelightinthedarkness，thewindowoftheirlamp-litcottage。
Helovedtothinkofhismother，andtheotherjollypeople。
“Well，everybodyelsehasbeeninlongago！”saidhismother，astheyentered。
“Whatdoesthatmatter！”hecriedirritably。”Icangoawalk，ifIlike，can’tI？”
“AndIshouldhavethoughtyoucouldgetintosupperwith，therest，“saidMrs。Morel。
“Ishallpleasemyself，“heretorted。”It’snotLATE。
IshalldoasIlike。”
“Verywell，“saidhismothercuttingly，“thenDOasyoulike。”
Andshetooknofurthernoticeofhimthatevening。Whichhe，pretendedneithertonoticenortocareabout，butsatreading。
Miriamreadalso，obliteratingherself。Mrs。Morelhatedher，formakinghersonlikethis。ShewatchedPaulgrowingirritable，priggish，andmelancholic。ForthissheputtheblameonMiriam。
Annieandallherfriendsjoinedagainstthegirl。Miriamhadno，friendofherown，onlyPaul。Butshedidnotsuffersomuch，becauseshedespisedthetrivialityoftheseotherpeople。
AndPaulhatedherbecause，somehow，shespoilthisease，andnaturalness。Andhewrithedhimselfwithafeelingofhumiliation。
CHAPTERVIII
STRIFEINLOVE
ARTHURfinishedhisapprenticeship，andgotajobontheelectrical，plantatMintonPit。Heearnedverylittle，buthadagoodchance，ofgettingon。Buthewaswildandrestless。Hedidnotdrink，norgamble。Yethesomehowcontrivedtogetintoendlessscrapes，alwaysthroughsomehot-headedthoughtlessness。Eitherhewent，rabbitinginthewoods，likeapoacher，orhestayedinNottingham，allnightinsteadofcominghome，orhemiscalculatedhisdive，intothecanalatBestwood，andscoredhischestintoonemass，ofwoundsontherawstonesandtinsatthebottom。
Hehadnotbeenathisworkmanymonthswhenagainhedid，notcomehomeonenight。
“DoyouknowwhereArthuris？”askedPaulatbreakfast。
“Idonot，“repliedhismother。
“Heisafool，“saidPaul。”AndifheDIDanythingI
shouldn’tmind。Butno，hesimplycan’tcomeawayfromagame，ofwhist，orelsehemustseeagirlhomefromtheskating-rink——quite，proprietously——andsocan’tgethome。He’safool。”
“Idon’tknowthatitwouldmakeitanybetterifhedid，somethingtomakeusallashamed，“saidMrs。Morel。
“Well，Ishouldrespecthimmore，“saidPaul。
“Iverymuchdoubtit，“saidhismothercoldly。
Theywentonwithbreakfast。
“Areyoufearfullyfondofhim？”Paulaskedhismother。
“Whatdoyouaskthatfor？”
“Becausetheysayawomanalwaysliketheyoungestbest。”
“Shemaydo——butIdon’t。No，heweariesme。”
“Andyou’dactuallyratherhewasgood？”
“I’dratherheshowedsomeofaman’scommonsense。”