第6章
CHAPTERSEVEN——ONTHEPAVEMENT
Fynewasnotwillingtotalk；butasIhadbeenalreadyletintothesecret，thefair-mindedlittlemanrecognizedthatIhadsomerighttoinformationifIinsistedonit。AndIdidinsist，afterthethirdgame。Wewereyetsomewayfromtheendofourjourney。”Oh，ifyouwanttoknow，”washissomewhatimpatientopening。Andthenhetalkedrathervolubly。FirstofallhiswifehadnotgivenhimtoreadtheletterreceivedfromFlora(Ihadsuspectedhimofhavingitinhispocket)，buthadtoldhimallaboutthecontents。
Itwasnotatallwhatitshouldhavebeenevenifthegirlhadwishedtoaffirmherrighttodisregardthefeelingsofalltheworld。Herownhadbeentrampledinthedirtoutofallshape。
Extraordinarythingtosay——Iwouldadmit，forayounggirlofherage。Thewholetoneofthatletterwaswrong，quitewrong。Itwascertainlynottheproductofa——say，ofawell-balancedmind。”Ifsheweregivensomesortoffootinginthisworld，”Isaid，”ifonlynobiggerthanthepalmofmyhand，shewouldprobablylearntokeepabetterbalance。”
Fyneignoredthislittleremark。Hiswife，hesaid，wasnotthesortofpersontobeaddressedmockinglyonaserioussubject。
Therewasanunpleasantstrainoflevityinthatletter，extendingeventothereferencestoCaptainAnthonyhimself。Suchadispositionwasenough，hiswifehadpointedouttohim，toalarmoneforthefuture，hadallthecircumstancesofthatpreposterousprojectbeenassatisfactoryasinfacttheywerenot。Otherpartsoftheletterseemedtohaveachallengingtone——asifdaringthem(theFynes)toapproveherconduct。Andatthesametimeimplyingthatshedidnotcare，thatitwasfortheirownsakesthatshehopedtheywould”goagainsttheworld——thehorridworldwhichhadcrushedpoorpapa。”
Fynecalleduponmetoadmitthatthiswasprettycool——considering。
Andtherewasanotherthing，too。Itseemsthatforthelastsixmonths(shehadbeenassistingtwoladieswhokeptakindergartenschoolinBayswater——amerepittance)，Florahadinsistedondevotingallhersparetimetothestudyofthetrial。Shehadbeenlookingupfilesofoldnewspapers，andworkingherselfupintoastateofindignationwithwhatshecalledtheinjusticeandthehypocrisyoftheprosecution。Herfather，Fyneremindedme，hadmadesomepalpablehitsinhisanswersinCourt，andshehadfastenedonthemtriumphantly。Shehadreachedtheconclusionofherfather’sinnocence，andhadbeenbroodingoverit。Mrs。Fynehadpointedouttohimthedangerofthis。
ThetrainranintothestationandFyne，jumpingoutdirectlyitcametoastandstill，seemedgladtocutshorttheconversation。Wewalkedinsilencealittleway，boardedabus，thenwalkedagain。I
don’tsupposethatsincethedaysofhischildhood，whensurelyhewastakentoseetheTower，hehadbeenonceeastofTempleBar。Helookedabouthimsullenly；andwhenIpointedoutinthedistancetheroundedfrontoftheEasternHotelatthebifurcationoftwoverybroad，mean，shabbythoroughfares，risinglikeagreystuccotowerabovethelowlyroofsofthedirty-yellow，two-storeyhouses，heonlygrunteddisapprovingly。”Iwouldn’tlaytoomuchstressonwhatyouhavebeentellingme，”I
observedquietlyasweapproachedthatunattractivebuilding。”Nomanwillbelieveagirlwhohasjustacceptedhissuittobenotwellbalanced，——youknow。””Oh！Acceptedhissuit，”mutteredFyne，whoseemedtohavebeenverythoroughlyconvincedindeed。”Itmayhavebeentheotherwayabout。”Andthenheadded:”Iamgoingthroughwithit。”
Isaidthatthiswasverypraiseworthybutthatacertainmoderationofstatement……Hewavedhishandatmeandmendedhispace。I
guessedthathewasanxioustogethismissionoverasquicklyaspossible。HebarelygavehimselftimetoshakehandswithmeandmadearushatthenarrowglassdoorwiththewordsHotelEntranceonit。Itswungtobehindhisbackwithnomorenoisethanthesnapofatoothlessjaw。
Theabsurdtemptationtoremainandseewhatwouldcomeofitgotovermybetterjudgment。Ihungaboutirresolute，wonderinghowlonganembassyofthatsortwouldtake，andwhetherFyneoncomingoutwouldconsenttobecommunicative。Ifearedhewouldbeshockedatfindingmethere，wouldconsidermyconductincorrect，conceivablytreatmewithcontempt。Iwalkedoffafewpaces。
PerhapsitwouldbepossibletoreadsomethingonFyne’sfaceashecameout；and，ifnecessary，Icouldalwayseclipsemyselfdiscreetlythroughthedoorofoneofthebars。ThegroundflooroftheEasternHotelwasanunabashedpub，withplate-glassfronts，adisplayofbrassrails，anddividedintomanycompartmentseachhavingitsownentrance。
Butofcourseallthiswassilly。Themarriage，thelove，theaffairsofCaptainAnthonywerenoneofmybusiness。Iwasonthepointofmovingdownthestreetforgoodwhenmyattentionwasattractedbyagirlapproachingthehotelentrancefromthewest。
Shewasdressedverymodestlyinblack。Itwasthewhitestrawhatofagoodformandtrimmedwithabunchofpaleroseswhichhadcaughtmyeye。Thewholefigureseemedfamiliar。Ofcourse！FloradeBarral。Shewasmakingforthehotel，shewasgoingin。AndFynewaswithCaptainAnthony！Tomeethimcouldnotbepleasantforher。Iwishedtosaveherfromtheawkwardness，andasI
hesitatedwhattodoshelookedupandoureyeshappenedtomeetjustasshewasturningoffthepavementintothehoteldoorway。
InstinctivelyIextendedmyarm。Itwasenoughtomakeherstop。I
supposeshehadsomefaintnotionthatshehadseenmebeforesomewhere。Shewalkedslowlyforward，prudentandattentive，watchingmyfaintsmile。”Excuseme，”Isaiddirectlyshehadapproachedmenearenough。”PerhapsyouwouldliketoknowthatMr。FyneisupstairswithCaptainAnthonyatthismoment。”
Sheutteredafaint”Ah！Mr。Fyne！”Icouldreadinhereyesthatshehadrecognizedmenow。HerseriousexpressionextinguishedtheimbecilegrinofwhichIwasconscious。Iraisedmyhat。Sherespondedwithaslowinclinationoftheheadwhileherluminous，mistrustful，maiden’sglanceseemedtowhisper，”Whatisthisonedoinghere？””IcameuptotownwithFynethismorning，”Isaidinabusinessliketone。”IhavetoseeafriendinEastIndiaDock。FyneandI
partedthismomentatthedoorhere……”Thegirlregardedmewithdarkeningeyes……”Mrs。Fynedidnotcomewithherhusband，”
Iwenton，thenhesitatedbeforethatwhitefacesostillinthepearlyshadowthrowndownbythehat-brim。”Butshesenthim，”I
murmuredbywayofwarning。
Hereyelidsflutteredslowlyoverthefixedstare。Iimagineshewasnotmuchdisconcertedbythisdevelopment。”Ilivealongwayfromhere，”shewhispered。
Isaidperfunctorily，”Doyou？”Andweremainedgazingateachother。Theuniformpalenessofhercomplexionwasnotthatofananaemicgirl。Ithadatransparentvitalityandatthatparticularmomentthefaintestpossiblerosytinge，themerestsuspicionofcolour；anequivalent，Isuppose，inanyothergirltoblushinglikeapeonywhileshetoldmethatCaptainAnthonyhadarrangedtoshowhertheshipthatmorning。
ItwaseasytounderstandthatshedidnotwanttomeetFyne。AndwhenImentionedinadiscreetmurmurthathehadcomebecauseofherlettersheglancedatthehoteldoorquickly，andmovedoffafewstepstoapositionwhereshecouldwatchtheentrancewithoutbeingseen。Ifollowedher。Atthejunctionofthetwothoroughfaresshestoppedinthethintrafficofthebroadpavementandturnedtomewithanairofchallenge。”Andsoyouknow。”
ItoldherthatIhadnotseentheletter。Ihadonlyheardofit。
Shewasalittleimpatient。”Imeanallaboutme。”
Yes。Iknewallabouther。ThedistressofMr。andMrs。Fyne——
especiallyofMrs。Fyne——wassogreatthattheywouldhaveshareditwithanybodyalmost——notbelongingtotheircircleoffriends。I
happenedtobeathand——thatwasall。”YouunderstandthatIamnottheirfriend。Iamonlyaholidayacquaintance。””Shewasnotverymuchupset？”queriedFloradeBarral，meaning，ofcourse，Mrs。Fyne。AndIadmittedthatshewaslesssothanherhusband——andevenlessthanmyself。Mrs。Fynewasaveryself-
possessedpersonwhichnothingcouldstartleoutofherextremetheoreticalposition。ShedidnotseemstartledwhenFyneandI
proposedgoingtothequarry。”Youputthatnotionintotheirheads，”thegirlsaid。
Iadvancedthatthenotionwasintheirheadsalready。ButitwasmuchmorevividlyinmyheadsinceIhadseenheruptherewithmyowneyes，temptingProvidence。
Shewaslookingatmewithextremeattention，andmurmured:”Isthatwhatyoucalledittothem？Tempting……””No。ItoldthemthatyouweremakingupyourmindandIcamealongjustthen。Itoldthemthatyouweresavedbyme。Myshoutcheckedyou……””Shemovedherheadgentlyfromrighttoleftinnegation……”No？Well，haveityourownway。”
Ithoughttomyself:Shehasfoundanotherissue。Shewantstoforgetnow。Andnowonder。Shewantstopersuadeherselfthatshehadneverknownsuchanuglyandpoignantminuteinherlife。”Afterall，”Iconcededaloud，”thingsarenotalwayswhattheyseem。”
Herlittleheadwithitsdeepblueeyes，eyesoftendernessandangerundertheblackarchoffineeyebrowswasverystill。Themouthlookedveryredinthewhitefacepeepingfromundertheveil，thelittlepointedchinhadinitsformsomethingaggressive。
Slightandevenangularinhermodestblackdressshewasanappealingand——yes——shewasadesirablelittlefigure。
Herlipsmovedveryfastaskingme:”Andtheybelievedyouatonce？””Yes，theybelievedmeatonce。Mrs。Fyne’swordtouswas”Go！”
AwhitegleambetweentheredlipswassoshortthatIremaineduncertainwhetheritwasasmileoraferociousbaringoflittleeventeeth。Therestofthefacepreserveditsinnocent，tenseandenigmaticalexpression。Shespokerapidly。”No，itwasn’tyourshout。Ihadbeentheresometimebeforeyousawme。AndIwasnottheretotemptProvidence，asyoucallit。I
wentuptherefor——forwhatyouthoughtIwasgoingtodo。Yes。I
climbedtwofences。IdidnotmeantoleaveanythingtoProvidence。
ThereseemtobepeopleforwhomProvidencecandonothing。I
supposeyouareshockedtohearmetalklikethat？”
Ishookmyhead。Iwasnotshocked。Whathadkeptherbackallthattime，tillIappearedonthescenebelow，shewenton，wasneitherfearnoranyotherkindofhesitation。Onereachesapoint，shesaidwithappallingyouthfulsimplicity，wherenothingthatconcernsonemattersanylonger。Butsomethingdidkeepherback。
Ishouldhaveneverguessedwhatitwas。Sheherselfconfessedthatitseemedabsurdtosay。ItwastheFynedog。
FloradeBarralpaused，lookingatme，withapeculiarexpressionandthenwenton。Yousee，sheimaginedthedoghadbecomeextremelyattachedtoher。Shetookitintoherheadthathemightfalloverorjumpdownafterher。Shetriedtodrivehimaway。Shespokesternlytohim。Itonlymadehimmorefrisky。Hebarkedandjumpedaboutherskirtinhisusual，idiotic，highspirits。Hescamperedawayincirclesbetweenthepinescharginguponherandleapingashighasherwaist。Shecommanded，”Goaway。Gohome。”
Sheevenpickedupfromthegroundabitofabrokenbranchandthrewitathim。Atthishisdelightknewnobounds；hisrushesbecamefaster，hisyappinglouder；heseemedtobehavingthetimeofhislife。Shewasconvincedthatthemomentshethrewherselfdownhewouldspringoverafterherasifitwerepartofthegame。
Shewasvexedalmosttotears。Shewastouchedtoo。Andwhenhestoodstillatsomedistanceasifsuddenlyrootedtothegroundwagginghistailslowlyandwatchingherintenselywithhisshiningeyesanotherfearcametoher。Sheimaginedherselfgoneandthecreaturesittingonthebrink，itsheadthrownuptotheskyandhowlingforhours。Thisthoughtwasnottobeborne。Thenmyshoutreachedherears。
Shetoldmeallthiswithsimplicity。Myvoicehaddestroyedherpoise——thesuicidepoiseofhermind。Everyactofours，themostcriminal，themostmadpresupposesabalanceofthought，feelingandwill，likeacorrectattitudeforaneffectivestrokeinagame。
AndIhaddestroyedit。Shewasnolongerinproperformfortheact。Shewasnotverymuchannoyed。Nextdaywoulddo。Shewouldhavetoslipawaywithoutattractingthenoticeofthedog。Shethoughtofthenecessityalmosttenderly。Shecamedownthepathcarryingherdespairwithlucidcalmness。Butwhenshesawherselfdesertedbythedog，shehadanimpulsetoturnround，goupagainandbedonewithit。Noteventhatanimalcaredforher——intheend。”Ireallydidthinkthathewasattachedtome。Whatdidhewanttopretendfor，likethis？Ithoughtnothingcouldhurtmeanymore。
Ohyes。Iwouldhavegoneup，butIfeltsuddenlysotired。Sotired。Andthenyouwerethere。Ididn’tknowwhatyouwoulddo。
YoumighthavetriedtofollowmeandIdidn’tthinkIcouldrun——
notuphill——notthen。”
Shehadraisedherwhitefacealittle，anditwasqueertohearhersaythesethings。Atthattimeofthemorningtherearecomparativelyfewpeopleoutinthatpartofthetown。ThebroadinterminableperspectiveoftheEastIndiaDockRoad，thegreatperspectiveofdrabbrickwalls，ofgreypavement，ofmuddyroadwayrumblingdismallywithloadedcartsandvanslostitselfinthedistance，imposingandshabbyinitsspaciousmeannessofaspect，initsimmeasurablepovertyofforms，ofcolouring，oflife——underaharsh，unconcernedskydriedbythewindtoaclearblue。Ithadbeenrainingduringthenight。Thesunshineitselfseemedpoor。
Fromtimetotimeafewbitsofpaper，alittledustandstrawwhirledpastusonthebroadflatpromontoryofthepavementbeforetheroundedfrontofthehotel。
FloradeBarralwassilentforawhile。Isaid:”Andnextdayyouthoughtbetterofit。”
Againsheraisedhereyestominewiththatpeculiarexpressionofinformedinnocence；andagainherwhitecheekstookonthefaintesttingeofpink——themerestshadowofablush。”Nextday，”sheuttereddistinctly，”Ididn’tthink。Iremembered。
Thatwasenough。IrememberedwhatIshouldneverhaveforgotten。
Never。AndCaptainAnthonyarrivedatthecottageintheevening。””Ahyes。CaptainAnthony，”Imurmured。Andsherepeatedalsoinamurmur，”Yes！CaptainAnthony。”Thefaintflushofwarmlifeleftherface。Isubduedmyvoicestillmoreandnotlookingather:”Youfoundhimsympathetic？”Iventured。
Herlongdarklasheswentdownalittlewithanairofcalculateddiscretion。Atleastsoitseemedtome。AndyetnoonecouldsaythatIwasinimicaltothatgirl。Butthereyouare！Explainitasyoumay，inthisworldthefriendless，likethepoor，arealwaysalittlesuspect，asifhonestyanddelicacywereonlypossibletotheprivilegedfew。”Whydoyouask？”shesaidafteratime，raisinghereyessuddenlytomineinaneffectofcandourwhichonthesameprinciple(ofthedisinheritednotbeingtobetrusted)mighthavebeenjudgedequivocal。”IfyoumeanwhatrightIhave……”Shemoveslightlyahandinawornbrowngloveasmuchastosayshecouldnotquestionanyone’srightagainstsuchanoutcastasherself。
Ioughttohavebeenmovedperhaps；butIonlynotedthetotalabsenceofhumility……”Norightatall，”Icontinued，”butjustinterest。Mrs。Fyne——it’stoodifficulttoexplainhowitcameabout——hastalkedtomeofyou——well——extensively。”
NodoubtMrs。Fynehadtoldmethetruth，Florasaidbrusquelywithanunexpectedhoarsenessoftone。ThisverydressshewaswearinghadbeengivenherbyMrs。Fyne。OfcourseIlookedatit。Itcouldnothavebeenarecentgift。Close-fittingandblack，withheliotropesilkfacingsunderafigurednet，itlookedfarfromnew，justonthissideofshabbiness；infact，itaccentuatedtheslightnessofherfigure，itwentwellinitssuggestionofhalfmourningwiththewhitefaceinwhichtheunsmilingredlipsaloneseemedwarmwiththerichbloodoflifeandpassion。
LittleFynewasstayingupthereanunconscionabletime。Washearguing，preaching，remonstrating？Hadhediscoveredinhimselfacapacityandatasteforthatsortofthing？Orwasheperhaps，inanintensedislikeforthejob，beatingaboutthebushandonlypuzzlingCaptainAnthony，theprovidentialman，who，ifheexpectedthegirltoappearatanymoment，musthavebeenontenterhooksallthetime，andbesidehimselfwithimpatiencetoseethebackofhisbrother-in-law。HowwasitthathehadnotgotridofFynelongbeforeinanycase？Idon’tmeanbyactuallythrowinghimoutofthewindow，butinsomeotherresolutemanner。
SurelyFynehadnotimpressedhim。ThathewasanimpressionablemanIcouldnotdoubt。Thepresenceofthegirlthereonthepavementbeforemeprovedthisuptothehilt——and，well，yes，touchinglyenough。
Itsohappenedthatintheirwanderingstoandfroourglancesmet。
Theymetandremainedincontactmorefamiliarthanahand-clasp，morecommunicative，moreexpressive。Therewassomethingcomictoointhewholesituation，inthepoorgirlandmyselfwaitingtogetheronthebroadpavementatacornerpublic-housefortheissueofFyne’sridiculousmission。Butthecomicwhenitishumanbecomesquicklypainful。Yes，shewasinfinitelyanxious。AndIwasaskingmyselfwhetherthispoignanttensionofhersuspensedepended——toputitplainly——onhungerorlove。
TheanswerwouldhavebeenofsomeinteresttoCaptainAnthony。Formypart，inthepresenceofayounggirlIalwaysbecomeconvincedthatthedreamsofsentiment——liketheconsolingmysteriesofFaith——
areinvincible；thatitisneverneverreasonwhichgovernsmenandwomen。
Yetwhatsentimentcouldtherehavebeenonherpart？Irememberedhertoneonlyamomentsincewhenshesaid:”ThateveningCaptainAnthonyarrivedatthecottage。”Andconsidering，too，whatthearrivalofCaptainAnthonymeantinthisconnection，Iwonderedatthecalmnesswithwhichshecouldmentionthatfact。Hearrivedatthecottage。Intheevening。Iknewthatlatetrain。Heprobablywalkedfromthestation。Theeveningwouldbewelladvanced。I
couldalmostseeadarkindistinctfigureopeningthewicketgateofthegarden。Wherewasshe？Didsheseehimenter？Wasshesomewherenearbyanddidshehearwithouttheslightestpremonitionhischanceandfatefulfootstepsontheflaggedpathleadingtothecottagedoor？Intheshadowofthenightmademorecruellysombreforherbytheveryshadowofdeathhemusthaveappearedtoostrange，tooremote，toounknowntoimpresshimselfonherthoughtasalivingforce——suchaforceasamancanbringtobearonawoman’sdestiny。
Sheglancedtowardsthehoteldooragain；Ifollowedsuitandthenoureyesmetoncemore，thistimeintentionally。Atentative，uncertainintimacywasspringingupbetweenustwo。Shesaidsimply:”YouarewaitingforMr。Fynetocomeout；areyou？”
IadmittedtoherthatIwaswaitingtoseeMr。Fynecomeout。Thatwasall。Ihadnothingtosaytohim。”IhavesaidyesterdayallIhadtosaytohim，”Iaddedmeaningly。”Ihavesaidittothemboth，infact。Ihavealsoheardalltheyhadtosay。””Aboutme？”shemurmured。”Yes。Theconversationwasaboutyou。””Iwonderiftheytoldyoueverything。”
IfshewonderedIcoulddonothingelsebutwondertoo。ButIdidnottellherthat。Ionlysmiled。ThematerialpointwasthatCaptainAnthonyshouldbetoldeverything。ButastothatIwasverycertainthatthegoodsisterwouldseetoit。Wasthereanythingmoretodisclose——someothermisery，someotherdeceptionofwhichthatgirlhadbeenavictim？Itseemedhardlyprobable。
Itwasnoteveneasytoimagine。Whatstruckmemostwasher——I
supposeImustcallit——composure。Onecouldnottellwhethersheunderstoodwhatshehaddone。Onewondered。Shewasnotsomuchunreadableasblank；andIdidnotknowwhethertoadmireherforitordismissherfrommythoughtsasapassivebuttofferociousmisfortune。
Lookingbackattheoccasionwhenwefirstgotonspeakingtermsontheroadbythequarry，Ihadtoadmitthatshepresentedsomepointsofaproblematicappearance。Idon’tknowwhyIimaginedCaptainAnthonyasthesortofmanwhowouldnotbelikelytotaketheinitiative；notperhapsfromindifferencebutfromthatpeculiartimiditybeforewomenwhichoftenenoughisfoundinconjunctionwithchivalrousinstincts，withagreatneedforaffectionandgreatstabilityoffeelings。Suchmenareeasilymoved。Attheleastencouragementtheygoforwardwiththeeagerness，withtherecklessnessofstarvation。Thisaccountedforthesuddennessoftheaffair。No！Withallherinexperiencethisgirlcouldnothavefoundanygreatdifficultyinherconqueringenterprise。Shemusthavebegunit。Andyetthereshewas，patient，almostunmoved，almostpitiful，waitingoutsidelikeabeggar，withoutarighttoanythingbutcompassion，forapromiseddole。
Everymomentpeoplewerepassingclosebyus，singly，intwoandthrees；theinhabitantsofthatendofthetownwherelifegoesonunadornedbygraceorsplendour；theypassedusintheirshabbygarments，withsallowfaces，haggard，anxiousorweary，orsimplywithoutexpression，inanunsmilingsombrestreamnotmadeupoflivesbutofmereunconsideredexistenceswhosejoys，struggles，thoughts，sorrowsandtheirveryhopesweremiserable，glamourless，andofnoaccountintheworld。Andwhenonethoughtoftheirrealitytothemselvesone’sheartbecameoppressed。Butofalltheindividualswhopassedbynoneappearedtomeforthemomentsopatheticinunconsciouspatienceasthegirlstandingbeforeme；
nonemoredifficulttounderstand。ItisperhapsbecauseIwasthinkingofthingswhichIcouldnotaskherabout。
Infactwehadnothingtosaytoeachother；butwetwo，strangersaswereallyweretoeachother，haddealtwiththemostintimateandfinalofsubjects，thesubjectofdeath。Ithadcreatedasortofbondbetweenus。Itmadeoursilenceweightyanduneasy。I
oughttohaveleftherthereandthen；but，asIthinkI’vetoldyoubefore，thefactofhavingshoutedherawayfromtheedgeofaprecipiceseemedsomehowtohaveengagedmyresponsibilityastothisotherleap。Andsowehadstillanintimatesubjectbetweenustolendmoreweightandmoreuneasinesstooursilence。Thesubjectofmarriage。Iusethewordnotsomuchinreferencetotheceremonyitself(Ihadnodoubtofthis，CaptainAnthonybeingadecentfellow)orinviewofthesocialinstitutioningeneral，astowhichIhavenoopinion，butinregardtothehumanrelation。
Thefirsttwoviewsarenotparticularlyinteresting。Theceremony，Isuppose，isadequate；theinstitution，Idaresay，isusefuloritwouldnothaveendured。Butthehumanrelationthusrecognizedisamysteriousthinginitsorigins，characterandconsequences。
Unfortunatelyyoucan’tbuttonholefamiliarlyayounggirlasyouwouldayoungfellow。Idon’tthinkthatevenanotherwomancouldreallydoit。Shewouldnotbetrusted。Thereisnotbetweenwomenthatfundofatleastconditionalloyaltywhichmenmaydependonintheirdealingswitheachother。Ibelievethatanywomanwouldrathertrustaman。Thedifficultyinsuchadelicatecasewashowtogetonterms。
Soweheldourpeaceintheodiousuproarofthatwideroadwaythrongedwithheavycarts。Greatvanscarryingenormouspiled-uploadsadvancedswayinglikemountains。Itwasasifthewholeworldexistedonlyforsellingandbuyingandthosewhohadnothingtodowiththemovementofmerchandisewereofnoaccount。”Youmustbetired，”Isaid。Onehadtosaysomethingifonlytoassertoneselfagainstthatwearisome，passionlessandcrushinguproar。Sheraisedhereyesforamoment。No，shewasnot。Notvery。Shehadnotwalkedalltheway。ShecamebytrainasfarasWhitechapelStationandhadonlywalkedfromthere。
Shehadhadanuglypilgrimage；butwhetherofloveorofnecessitywhocouldtell？AndthatpreciselywaswhatIshouldhavelikedtogetat。Thiswasnothoweveraquestiontobeaskedpoint-blank，andIcouldnotthinkofanyeffectivecircumlocution。Itoccurredtometoothatshemightconceivablyknownothingofitherself——I
meanbyreflection。Thatyoungwomanhadbeenobviouslyconsideringdeath。Shehadgonethelengthofformingsomeconceptionofit。
Butastoitscompanionfatality——love，she，Iwascertain，hadneverreflecteduponitsmeaning。
Withthatmaninthehotel，whomIdidnotknow，andthisgirlstandingbeforemeinthestreetIfeltthatitwasanexceptionalcase。Hehadbrokenawayfromhissurroundings；shestoodoutsidethepale。Oneaspectofconventionswhichpeoplewhodeclaimagainstthemlosesightofisthatconventionsmakebothjoyandsufferingeasiertobearinabecomingmanner。Butthosetwowereoutsideallconventions。Theywouldbeasuntrammelledinasenseasthefirstmanandthefirstwoman。ThetroublewasthatIcouldnotimagineanythingaboutFloradeBarralandthebrotherofMrs。
Fyne。Or，ifyoulike，IcouldimagineANYTHINGwhichcomespracticallytothesamething。Darknessandchaosarefirstcousins。Ishouldhavelikedtoaskthegirlforawordwhichwouldgivemyimaginationitsline。Buthowwasonetoventuresofar？I
canberoughsometimesbutIamnotnaturallyimpertinent。Iwouldhavelikedtoaskherforinstance:”Doyouknowwhatyouhavedonewithyourself？”Aquestionlikethat。Anyhowitwastimeforoneofustosaysomething。Aquestionitmustbe。AndthequestionI
askedwas:”Sohe’sgoingtoshowyoutheship？”
SheseemedgladIhadspokenatlastandgladoftheopportunitytospeakherself。”Yes。Hesaidhewould——thismorning。DidyousayyoudidnotknowCaptainAnthony？””No。Idon’tknowhim。Isheanythinglikehissister？”
Shelookedstartledandmurmured”Sister！”inapuzzledtonewhichastonishedme。”Oh！Mrs。Fyne，”sheexclaimed，recollectingherself，andavoidingmyeyeswhileIlookedathercuriously。
Whatanextraordinarydetachment！Andallthetimethestreamofshabbypeoplewashasteningbyus，withthecontinuousdrearyshufflingofwearyfootstepsontheflagstones。Thesunshinefallingonthegrimeofsurfaces，onthepovertyoftonesandformsseemedofaninferiorquality，itsjoyfaded，itsbrilliancetarnishedanddusty。Ihadtoraisemyvoiceinthedullvibratingnoiseoftheroadway。”Youdon’tmeantosayyouhaveforgottentheconnection？”
Shecriedreadilyenough:”Iwasn’tthinking。”Andthen，whileI
wonderedwhatcouldhavebeentheimagesoccupyingherbrainatthistime，sheaskedme:”Youdidn’tseemylettertoMrs。Fyne——didyou？””No。Ididn’t，”Ishouted。Justthentheracketwasdistracting，apair-horsetrollylightlyloadedwithlooserodsofironpassingslowlyverynearus。”Iwasn’ttrustedsofar。”AndrememberingMrs。Fyne’shintsthatthegirlwasunbalanced，Iadded:”Wasitanunreservedconfessionyouwrote？”
Shedidnotanswermeforatime，andasIwaitedIthoughtthatthere’snothinglikeaconfessiontomakeonelookmad；andthatofallconfessionsawrittenoneisthemostdetrimentalallround。
Neverconfess！Never，never！Anuntimelyjokeisasourceofbitterregretalways。Sometimesitmayruinaman；notbecauseitisajoke，butbecauseitisuntimely。Andaconfessionofwhateversortisalwaysuntimely。Theonlythingwhichmakesitsupportableforawhileiscuriosity。Yousmile？Ah，butitisso，orelsepeoplewouldbesenttotherightaboutatthesecondsentence。Howmanysympatheticsoulscanyoureckononintheworld？Oneinten，oneinahundred——inathousand——intenthousand？Ah！Whataselltheseconfessionsare！Whatahorriblesell！Youseeksympathy，andallyougetisthemostevanescentsenseofrelief——ifyougetthatmuch。Foraconfession，whateveritmaybe，stirsthesecretdepthsofthehearer’scharacter。Oftendepthsthathehimselfisbutdimlyawareof。Andsotherighteoustriumphsecretly，theluckyareamused，thestrongaredisgusted，theweakeitherupsetorirritatedwithyouaccordingtothemeasureoftheirsinceritywiththemselves。Andallofthemintheirheartsbrandyouforeithermadorimpudent……”
IhadseldomseenMarlowsovehement，sopessimistic，soearnestlycynicalbefore。IcuthisdeclamationshortbyaskingwhatanswerFloradeBarralhadgiventohisquestion。”DidthepoorgirladmitfiringoffherconfidencesatMrs。Fyne——eightpagesofclosewriting——thatsortofthing？”
Marlowshookhishead。”Shedidnottellme。Iacceptedhersilence，asakindofanswerandremarkedthatitwouldhavebeenbetterifshehadsimplyannouncedthefacttoMrs。Fyneatthecottage。”Whydidn’tyoudoit？”Iaskedpoint-blank。
Shesaid:”Iamnotaverypluckygirl。”Shelookedupatmeandaddedmeaningly:”AndYOUknowit。Andyouknowwhy。”
Imustremarkthatsheseemedtohavebecomeverysubduedsinceourfirstmeetingatthequarry。Almostadifferentpersonfromthedefiant，angryanddespairinggirlwithquiveringlipsandresentfulglances。”Ithoughtitwasverysensibleofyoutogetawayfromthatsheerdrop，”Isaid。
Shelookedupwithsomethingofthatoldexpression。”That’snotwhatImean。Iseeyouwillhaveitthatyousavedmylife。Nothingofthekind。Iwasconcernedforthatvilelittlebeastofadog。No！Itwastheideaof——ofdoingawaywithmyselfwhichwascowardly。That’swhatImeantbysayingIamnotaverypluckygirl。””Oh！”Iretortedairily。”Thatlittledog。Heisn’treallyabadlittledog。”Butsheloweredhereyelidsandwenton:”IwassomiserablethatIcouldthinkonlyofmyself。Thiswasmean。Itwascrueltoo。AndbesidesIhadNOTgivenitup——notthen。”
Marlowchangedhistone。”Idon’tknowmuchofthepsychologyofself-destruction。It’sasortofsubjectonehasfewopportunitiestostudyclosely。Iknewamanoncewhocametomyroomsoneevening，andwhilesmokingacigarconfessedtomemoodilythathewastryingtodiscoversomegracefulwayofretiringoutofexistence。Ididn’tstudyhiscase，butIhadaglimpseofhimtheotherdayatacricketmatch，withsomewomen，havingagoodtime。Thatseemsafairlyreasonableattitude。Consideredasasin，itisacaseforrepentancebeforethethroneofamercifulGod。ButIimaginethatFloradeBarral’sreligionunderthecareofthedistinguishedgovernesscouldhavebeennothingbutoutwardformality。Remorseinthesenseofgnawingshameandunavailingregretisonlyunderstandabletomewhensomewronghadbeendonetoafellow-creature。Butwhyshe，thatgirlwhoexistedonsufferance，sotospeak——whysheshouldwritheinwardlywithremorsebecauseshehadoncethoughtofgettingridofalifewhichwasnothingineveryrespectbutacurse——thatIcouldnotunderstand。Ithoughtitwasverylikelysomeobscureinfluenceofcommonformsofspeech，sometraditionalorinheritedfeeling——avaguenotionthatsuicideisalegalcrime；wordsofoldmoralistsandpreacherswhichremainintheairandhelptoformalltheauthorizedmoralconventions。Yes，Iwassurprisedatherremorse。
Butloweringherglanceunexpectedlytillherdarkeye-lashesseemedtorestagainstherwhitecheeksshepresentedaperfectlydemureaspect。ItwassoattractivethatIcouldnothelpafaintsmile。
ThatFloradeBarralshouldever，inanyaspect，havethepowertoevokeasmilewastheverylastthingIshouldhavebelieved。Shewentonafteraslighthesitation:”OnedayIstartedforthere，forthatplace。”
Lookattheinfluenceofamereplayofphysiognomy！IfyourememberwhatweweretalkingaboutyouwillhardlybelievethatI
caughtmyselfgrinningdownatthatdemurelittlegirl。ImustsaytoothatIfeltmorefriendlytoheratthemomentthaneverbefore。”Oh，youdid？Totakethatjump？Youareadeterminedyoungperson。Well，whathappenedthattime？”
Analmostimperceptiblealterationinherbearing；aslightdroopofherheadperhaps——amerenothing——madeherlookmoredemurethanever。”Ihadleftthecottage，”shebeganalittlehurriedly。”Iwaswalkingalongtheroad——youknow，THEroad。IhadmadeupmymindI
wasnotcomingbackthistime。”
Iwon’tdenythatthesewordsspokenfromunderthebrimofherhat(ohyes，certainly，herheadwasdown——shehadputitdown)gavemeathrill；forindeedIhadneverdoubtedhersincerity。Itcouldneverhavebeenamake-believedespair。”Yes，”Iwhispered。”Youweregoingalongtheroad。””When……”Againshehesitatedwithaneffectofinnocentshynessworldsasunderfromtragicissues；thenglidedon……”WhensuddenlyCaptainAnthonycamethroughagateoutofafield。”
Icougheddownthebeginningofamostimproperfitoflaughter，andfeltashamedofmyself。Hereyesraisedforamomentseemedfullofinnocentsufferingandunexpressedmenaceinthedepthsofthedilatedpupilswithintheringsofsombreblue。Itwas——howshallI
sayit？——anighteffectwhenyouseemtoseevagueshapesanddon’tknowwhatrealityyoumaycomeuponatanytime。Thensheloweredhereyelidsagain，shuttingallmysteriousnessoutofthesituationexceptforthesoberingmemoryofthatglance，nightlikeinthesunshine，expressivelystillinthebrutalunrestofthestreet。”SoCaptainAnthonyjoinedyou——didhe？””Heopenedafield-gateandwalkedoutontheroad。Hecrossedtomysideandwentonwithme。Hehadhispipeinhishand。Hesaid:
’Areyougoingfarthismorning？’”
Thesewords(Iwaswatchingherwhitefaceasshespoke)gavemeaslightshudder。Sheremaineddemure，almostprim。AndIremarked:”Youhavebeentalkingtogetherbefore，ofcourse。””Notmorethantwentywordsaltogethersincehearrived，”shedeclaredwithoutemphasis。”Thatdayhehadsaid’Goodmorning’tomewhenwemetatbreakfasttwohoursbefore。AndIsaidgoodmorningtohim。Ididnotseehimafterwardstillhecameoutontheroad。”
Ithoughttomyselfthatthiswasnotaccidental。Hehadbeenobservingher。IfeltcertainalsothathehadnotbeenaskinganyquestionsofMrs。Fyne。”Iwouldn’tlookathim，”saidFloradeBarral。”Ihaddonewithlookingatpeople。Hesaidtome:’Mysisterdoesnotputherselfoutmuchforus。Wehadbetterkeepeachothercompany。Ihavereadeverybookthereisinthatcottage。’Iwalkedon。Hedidnotleaveme。Ithoughtheoughtto。Buthedidn’t。Hedidn’tseemtonoticethatIwouldnottalktohim。”
Shewasnowperfectlystill。Thewretchedlittleparasolhungdownagainstherdressfromherjoinedhands。Iwasrigidwithattention。Itisn’teverydaythatonecullssuchavolunteeredtaleonagirl’slips。Theuglystreet-noisesswellingupforamomentcoveredthenextfewwordsshesaid。Itwasvexing。ThenextwordIheardwas”worried。””Itworriedyoutohavehimthere，walkingbyyourside。””Yes。Justthat，”shewentonwithdowncasteyes。Therewassomethingprettilycomicalinherattitudeandhertone，whileI
picturedtomyselfapoorwhite-facedgirlwalkingtoherdeathwithanunconsciousmanstridingbyherside。Unconscious？Idon’tknow。Firstofall，Ifeltcertainthatthiswasnochancemeeting。
Somethinghadhappenedbefore。Washeamanforacoup-de-foudre，thelightningstrokeoflove？Idon’tthinkso。Thatsortofsusceptibilityisluckilyrare。AworldofinflammableloversoftheRomeoandJuliettypewouldverysoonendinbarbarismandmisery。Butitisafactthatineveryman(notineverywoman)
therelivesalover；aloverwhoiscalledoutinallhispotentialitiesoftenbythemostinsignificantlittlethings——aslongastheycomeatthepsychologicalmoment:theglimpseofafaceatanunusualangle，anevanescentattitude，thecurveofacheekoftenlookedatbefore，perhaps，butthen，atthemoment，chargedwithastonishingsignificance。Thesearegreatmysteries，ofcourse。Magicsigns。
Idon’tknowinwhatthesignconsistedinthiscase。Itmighthavebeenherpallor(itwasn’tpastynoryetpapery)thatwhitefacewitheyeslikebluegleamsoffireandlipslikeredcoals。Incertainlights，incertainpoisesofheaditsuggestedtragicsorrow。Oritmighthavebeenherwavyhair。Orevenjustthatpointedchinstuckoutalittle，resentfulandnotparticularlydistinguished，doingawaywiththemysteriousaloofnessofherfragilepresence。ButanywayatagivenmomentAnthonymusthavesuddenlySEENthegirl。Andthen，thatsomethinghadhappenedtohim。Perhapsnothingmorethanthethoughtcomingintohisheadthatthiswas”apossiblewoman。”
Followedthiswaylaying！Itsresolutecharactermakesmethinkitwasthechin’sdoing；that”commonmortal”touchwhichstandsinsuchgoodsteadtosomewomen。Becausemen，Imeanreallymasculinemen，thosewhosegenerationshaveevolvedanidealwoman，areoftenverytimid。Whowouldn’tbebeforetheideal？It’syoursentimentaltrifler，whohasjustmissedbeingnothingatall，whoisenterprising，simplybecauseitiseasytoappearenterprisingwhenonedoesnotmeantoputone’sbelieftothetest。
Well，whateveritwasthatencouragedhim，CaptainAnthonystucktoFloradeBarralinamannerwhichinatimidmanmighthavebeencalledheroicifithadnotbeensosimple。Whetherpolicy，diplomacy，simplicity，orjustinspiration，hekeptuphistalk，ratherdeliberate，withveryfewpauses。Thensuddenlyasifrecollectinghimself:”It’sfunny。Idon’tthinkyouareannoyedwithmeforgivingyoumycompanyunasked。Butwhydon’tyousaysomething？”
IaskedMissdeBarralwhatanswershemadetothisquery。”Imadenoanswer，”shesaidinthateven，unemotionallowvoicewhichseemedtobehervoicefordelicateconfidences。”Iwalkedon。Hedidnotseemtomind。Wecametothefootofthequarrywheretheroadwindsuphill，pasttheplacewhereyouweresittingbytheroadsidethatday。IbegantowonderwhatIshoulddo。
AfterwereachedthetopCaptainAnthonysaidthathehadnotbeenforawalkwithaladyforyearsandyears——almostsincehewasaboy。WehadthencometowhereIoughttohaveturnedoffandstruckacrossafield。Ithoughtofmakingarunofit。Buthewouldhavecaughtmeup。Iknewhewould；and，ofcourse，hewouldnothaveallowedme。Icouldn’tgivehimtheslip。””Whydidn’tyouaskhimtoleaveyou？”Iinquiredcuriously。”Hewouldnothavetakenanynotice，”shewentonsteadily。”AndwhatcouldIhavedonethen？Icouldnothavestartedquarrellingwithhim——couldI？Ihadn’tenoughenergytogetangry。Ifeltverytiredsuddenly。Ijuststumbledonstraightalongtheroad。
CaptainAnthonytoldmethatthefamily——somerelationsofhismother——heusedtoknowinLiverpoolwasbrokenupnow，andhehadnevermadeanyfriendssince。Allgonetheirdifferentways。Allthegirlsmarried。Nicegirlstheywereandveryfriendlytohimwhenhewasbutlittlemorethanaboy。Herepeated:’Verynice，cheery，clevergirls。’Isatdownonabankagainstahedgeandbegantocry。””Youmusthaveastonishedhimnotalittle，”Iobserved。
Anthony，itseems，remainedontheroadlookingdownather。Hedidnotoffertoapproachher，neitherdidhemakeanyothermovementorgesture。FloradeBarraltoldmeallthis。Shecouldseehimthroughhertears，blurredtoamereshadowonthewhiteroad，andthenagainbecomingmoredistinct，butalwaysabsolutelystillandasiflostinthoughtbeforeastrangephenomenonwhichdemandedtheclosestpossibleattention。
Floralearnedlaterthathehadneverseenawomancry；notinthatway，atleast。Hewasimpressedandinterestedbythemysteriousnessoftheeffect。Shewasveryconsciousofbeinglookedat，butwasnotabletostopherselfcrying。Infact，shewasnotcapableofanyeffort。Suddenlyheadvancedtwosteps，stooped，caughtholdofherhandslyingonherlapandpulledheruptoherfeet；shefoundherselfstandingclosetohimalmostbeforesherealizedwhathehaddone。SomepeoplewerecomingbrisklyalongtheroadandCaptainAnthonymuttered:”Youdon’twanttobestaredat。Whataboutthatstileoverthere？Canwegobackacrossthefields？”
Shesnatchedherhandsoutofhisgrasp(itseemshehadomittedtoletthemgo)，marchedawayfromhimandgotoverthestile。Itwasabigfieldsprinkledprofuselywithwhitesheep。Atroddenpathcrosseditdiagonally。Aftershehadgonemorethanhalfwaysheturnedherheadforthefirsttime。Keepingfivefeetorsobehind，CaptainAnthonywasfollowingherwithanairofextremeinterest。
Interestoreagerness。Atanyrateshecaughtanexpressiononhisfacewhichfrightenedher。Butnotenoughtomakeherrun。Andindeeditwouldhavehadtobesomethingincrediblyawfultoscareintoarunagirlwhohadcometotheendofhercouragetolive。
AsifencouragedbythisglanceovertheshoulderCaptainAnthonycameupboldly，andnowthathewasbyherside，shefelthisnearnessintimately，likeatouch。Shetriedtodisregardthissensation。Butshewasnotangrywithhimnow。Itwasn’tworthwhile。Shewasthankfulthathehadthesensenottoaskquestionsastothiscrying。Ofcoursehedidn’taskbecausehedidn’tcare。
Nooneintheworldcaredforher，neitherthosewhopretendednoryetthosewhodidnotpretend。Shepreferredthelatter。
CaptainAnthonyopenedforheragateintoanotherfield；whentheygotthroughhekeptwalkingabreast，elbowtoelbowalmost。Hisvoicegrowledpleasantlyinherveryear。Stayinginthisdullplacewasenoughtogiveanyonetheblues。Hissisterscribbledallday。Itwaspositivelyunkind。Healludedtohisniecesasrude，selfishmonkeys，withouteitherfeelingsormanners。Andhewentontotalkabouthisshipbeinglaidupforamonthanddismantledforrepairs。TheworstwasthatonarrivinginLondonhefoundhecouldn’tgettheroomshewasusedto，wheretheymadehimascomfortableassuchaconfirmedsea-dogashimselfcouldbeanywhereonshore。
Intheefforttosubduebydintoftalkingandtokeepincheckthemysterious，theprofoundattractionhefeltalreadyforthatdelicatebeingoffleshandblood，withpalecheeks，withdarkenedeyelidsandeyesscaldedwithhottears，hewentonspeakingofhimselfasaconfirmedenemyoflifeonshore——aperfectterrortoasimpleman，whatwiththefadsandproprietiesandtheceremoniesandaffectations。Hehatedallthat。Hewasn’tfitforit。Therewasnorestandpeaceandsecuritybutonthesea。
ThisgaveoneaviewofCaptainAnthonyasahermitwithdrawnfromawickedworld。Itwasamusinglyunexpectedtomeandnothingmore。
Butitmusthaveappealedstraighttothatbruisedandbatteredyoungsoul。Stillshrinkingfromhisnearnessshehadendedbylisteningtohimwithavidity。Hisdeepmurmuringvoicesoothedher。Andshethoughtsuddenlythattherewaspeaceandrestinthegravetoo。
Sheheardhimsay:”Lookatmysister。Sheisn’tabadwomanbyanymeans。Sheasksmeherebecauseit’srightandproper，I
suppose，butshehasnouseforme。Thereyouhaveyourshorepeople。Iquiteunderstandanybodycrying。Iwouldhavebeengonealready，only，truthtosay，Ihaven’tanyfriendstogoto。”Headdedbrusquely:”Andyou？”
Shemadeaslightnegativesign。Hemusthavebeenobservingher，puttingtwoandtwotogether。Afterapausehesaidsimply:”WhenIfirstcamehereIthoughtyouweregovernesstothesegirls。Mysisterdidn’tsayawordaboutyoutome。”
ThenFloraspokeforthefirsttime。”Mrs。Fyneismybestfriend。””Sosheismine，”hesaidwithouttheslightestironyorbitterness，butaddedwithconviction:”Thatshowsyouwhatlifeashoreis。
Muchbetterbeoutofit。”
Astheywereapproachingthecottagehewasheardagainasthoughalongsilentwalkhadnotintervened:”ButanyhowIshan’taskheranythingaboutyou。”
Hestoppedshortandshewentonalone。Hislastwordshadimpressedher。Everythinghehadsaidseemedsomehowtohaveaspecialmeaningunderitsobviousconversationalsense。Tillshewentinatthedoorofthecottageshefelthiseyesrestingonher。
Thatisit。Hehadmadehimselffelt。Thatgirlwas，onemaysay，washingaboutwithslacklimbsintheuglysurfoflifewithnoopportunitytostrikeoutforherself，whensuddenlyshehadbeenmadetofeelthattherewassomebodybesideherinthebitterwater。
Amostconsiderablemoraleventforher；whethershewasawareofitornot。Theymetagainattheoneo’clockdinner。Iaminclinedtothinkthat，beingahealthygirlunderherfrailappearance，andfastwalkingandwhatImaycallrelief-crying(therearemanykindsofcrying)makingonehungry，shemadeagoodmeal。ItwasCaptainAnthonywhohadnoappetite。Hissistercommentedonitinacurt，business-likemanner，andtheeldestofhisdelightfulniecessaidmockingly:”Youhavebeentakingtoomuchexercisethismorning，UncleRoderick。”ThemildUncleRoderickturneduponherwitha”Whatdoyouknowaboutit，younglady？”sochargedwithsuppressedsavagerythatthewholeroundtablegaveonegaspandwentdumbfortherestofthemeal。HetooknonoticewhateverofFloradeBarral。Idon’tthinkitwasfromprudenceoranycalculatedmotive。Ibelievehewassofullofheraspectsthathedidnotwanttolookinherdirectionwhentherewereotherpeopletohamperhisimagination。
YouunderstandIampiecingherebitsofdisconnectedstatements。
NextdayFlorasawhimleaningoverthefield-gate。Whenshetoldmethis，Ididn’tofcourseaskherhowitwasshewasthere。
Probablyshecouldnothavetoldmehowitwasshewasthere。Thedifficultyhereistokeepsteadilyinviewthethenconditionsofherexistence，acombinationofdrearinessandhorror。
Thathermit-likebutnotexactlymisanthropicsailorwasleaningoverthegatemoodily。Whenhesawthewhite-facedrestlessFloradriftinglikealostthingalongtheroadheputhispipeinhispocketandcalledout”Goodmorning，MissSmith”inatoneofamazinghappiness。She，withonefootinlifeandtheotherinanightmare，wasatthesametimeinertandunstable，andverymuchatthemercyofsuddenimpulses。Sheswerved，camedistractedlyrightuptothegateandlookingstraightintohiseyes:”IamnotMissSmith。That’snotmyname。Don’tcallmebyit。”
Shewasshakingasifinapassion。Hiseyesexpressednothing；heonlyunlatchedthegateinsilence，graspedherarmanddrewherin。
Thenclosingitwithakick-”Notyourname？That’sallonetome。Yourname’stheleastthingaboutyouIcarefor。”Hewasleadingherfirmlyawayfromthegatethoughsheresistedslightly。Therewasasortofjoyinhiseyeswhichfrightenedher。”Youarenotaprincessindisguise，”hesaidwithanunexpectedlaughshefoundblood-curdling。”Andthat’sallIcarefor。YouhadbetterunderstandthatIamnotblindandnotafool。Andthenit’splainforevenafooltoseethatthingshavebeengoinghardwithyou。Youareonaleeshoreandeatingyourheartoutwithworry。”
Whatseemedmostawfultoherwastheelatedlightinhiseyes，therapacioussmilethatwouldcomeandgoonhislipsasifheweregloatingoverhermisery。Buthermiserywashisopportunityandherejoicedwhilethetenderestpityseemedtofloodhiswholebeing。
Hepointedouttoherthatsheknewwhohewas。HewasMrs。Fyne’sbrother。And，well，ifhissisterwasthebestfriendshehadintheworld，then，byJove，itwasabouttimesomebodycamealongtolookafterheralittle。
Florahadtriedmorethanoncetofreeherself，buthetightenedhisgraspofherarmeachtimeandevenshookitalittlewithoutceasingtospeak。Thenearnessofhisfaceintimidatedher。Heseemedstrivingtolookherthrough。Itwasobvioustheworldhadbeenusingherill。Andevenashespokewithindignationtheverymarksandstampofthisill-usageofwhichhewassocertainseemedtoaddtotheinexplicableattractionhefeltforherperson。Itwasnotpityalone，Itakeit。Itwassomethingmorespontaneous，perverseandexciting。Itgavehimthefeelingthatifonlyhecouldgetholdofher，nowomanwouldbelongtohimsocompletelyasthiswoman。”Whateveryourtroubles，”hesaid，”Iamthemantotakeyouawayfromthem；thatis，ifyouarenotafraid。Youtoldmeyouhadnofriends。NeitherhaveI。NobodyevercaredformeasfarasIcanremember。Perhapsyoucould。Yes，Iliveonthesea。Butwhowouldyoubepartingfrom？Noone。Youhavenoonebelongingtoyou。”
Atthispointshebrokeawayfromhimandran。Hedidnotpursueher。Thetallhedgestossinginthewind，thewidefields，thecloudsdrivingovertheskyandtheskyitselfwheeledaboutherinmassesofgreenandwhiteandblueasiftheworldwerebreakingupsilentlyinawhirl，andherfootatthenextstepwereboundtofindthevoid。Shereachedthegateallright，gotout，and，onceontheroad，discoveredthatshehadnotthecouragetolookback。
TherestofthatdayshespentwiththeFynegirlswhogavehertounderstandthatshewasaslowandunprofitableperson。Longaftertea，nearlyatdusk，CaptainAnthony(thesonofthepoet)appearedsuddenlybeforeherinthelittlegardeninfrontofthecottage。
Theywerealoneforthemoment。Thewindhaddropped。InthecalmeveningairthevoicesofMrs。Fyneandthegirlsstrollingaimlesslyontheroadcouldbeheard。Hesaidtoherseverely:”Youhaveunderstood？”
Shelookedathiminsilence。”ThatIloveyou，”hefinished。
Sheshookherheadtheleastbit。”Don’tyoubelieveme？”heaskedinalow，infuriatedvoice。”Nobodywouldloveme，”sheansweredinaveryquiettone。”Nobodycould。”
Hewasdumbforatime，astonishedbeyondmeasure，ashewellmighthavebeen。Hedoubtedhisears。Hewasoutraged。”Eh？What？Can’tloveyou？Whatdoyouknowaboutit？It’smyaffair，isn’tit？YoudaresayTHATtoamanwhohasjusttoldyou！
Youmustbemad！””Verynearly，”shesaidwiththeaccentofpent-upsincerity，andevenrelievedbecauseshewasabletosaysomethingwhichshefeltwastrue。Forthelastfewdaysshehadfeltherselfseveraltimesnearthatmadnesswhichisbutanintolerablelucidityofapprehension。
TheclearvoicesofMrs。Fyneandthegirlswerecomingnearer，soundingaffectedinthepeaceofthepassion-ladenearth。Hebeganstormingatherhastily。”Nonsense！Nobodycan……Indeed！Pah！You’llhavetobeshownthatsomebodycan。Ican。Nobody……”Hemadeacontemptuoushissingnoise。”MorelikelyYOUcan’t。Theyhavedonesomethingtoyou。Something’scrushedyourpluck。Youcan’tfaceaman——that’swhatitis。Whatmadeyoulikethis？Wheredoyoucomefrom？Youhavebeenputupon。Thescoundrels——whoevertheyare，menorwomen，seemtohaverobbedyouofyourveryname。YousayyouarenotMissSmith。Whoareyou，then？”
Shedidnotanswer。Hemuttered，”NotthatIcare，”andfellsilent，becausethefatuousself-confidentchatteroftheFynegirlscouldbeheardattheverygate。Buttheywerenotgoingtobedyet。Theypassedon。Hewaitedalittleinsilenceandimmobility，thenstampedhisfootandlostcontrolofhimself。Hegrowledatherinasavagepassion。Shefeltcertainthathewasthreateningherandcallinghernames。Shewasnostrangertoabuse，asweknow，butthereseemedtobeaparticularkindofferocityinthiswhichwasnewtoher。Shebegantotremble。Theespeciallyterrifyingthingwasthatshecouldnotmakeoutthenatureoftheseawfulmenacesandnames。Notaword。Yetitwasnottheshrinkinganguishofherotherexperiencesofangryscenes。Shemadeamightyeffort，thoughherkneeswereknockingtogether，andinanexpiringvoicedemandedthatheshouldlethergoindoors。”Don’tstopme。
It’snouse。It’snouse，”sherepeatedfaintly，feelinganinvincibleobstinacyrisingwithinher，yetwithoutangeragainstthatragingman。
Hebecamearticulatesuddenly，and，withoutraisinghisvoice，perfectlyaudible。”Nouse！Nouse！Youdarestandhereandtellmethat——youwhite-
facedwisp，youwreathofmist，youlittleghostofallthesorrowintheworld。Youdare！Haven’tIbeenlookingatyou？Youarealleyes。Whatmakesyourcheeksalwayssowhiteasifyouhadseensomething……Don’tspeak。Iloveit……Nouse！AndyoureallythinkthatIcannowgotoseaforayearormore，totheothersideoftheworldsomewhere，leavingyoubehind。Why！Youwouldvanish……whatlittlethereisofyou。Someroughwindwillblowyouawayaltogether。Youhavenoholdinggroundonearth。
Well，thentrustyourselftome——tothesea——whichisdeeplikeyoureyes。”
Shesaid:”Impossible。”Hekeptquietforawhile，thenaskedinatotallychangedtone，atoneofgloomycuriosity:”Youcan’tstandmethen？Isthatit？””No，”shesaid，moresteadyherself。”Iamnotthinkingofyouatall。”
TheinanevoicesoftheFynegirlswereheardoverthesombrefieldscallingtoeachother，thinandclear。Hemuttered:”Youcouldtryto。Unlessyouarethinkingofsomebodyelse。””Yes。Iamthinkingofsomebodyelse，ofsomeonewhohasnobodytothinkofhimbutme。”
Hisshadowyformsteppedoutofherway，andsuddenlyleanedsidewaysagainstthewoodensupportoftheporch。Andasshestoodstill，surprisedbythisstaggeringmovement，hisvoicespokeupinatonequitestrangetoher。”Gointhen。Gooutofmysight——Ithoughtyousaidnobodycouldloveyou。”
Shewaspassinghimwhensuddenlyhestruckherassoforlornthatshewasinspiredtosay:”Noonehaseverlovedme——notinthatway——ifthat’swhatyoumean。Nobodywould。”
Hedetachedhimselfbrusquelyfromthepost，andshedidnotshrink；
butMrs。Fyneandthegirlswerealreadyatthegate。
Allheunderstoodwasthateverythingwasnotoveryet。Therewasnotimetolose；Mrs。Fyneandthegirlshadcomeinatthegate。
Hewhispered”Wait”withsuchauthority(hewasthesonofCarleonAnthony，thedomesticautocrat)thatitdidarrestherforamoment，longenoughtohearhimsaythathecouldnotbeleftlikethistopuzzleoverhernonsenseallnight。Shewastoslipdownagainintothegardenlateron，assoonasshecoulddosowithoutbeingheard。
Hewouldbetherewaitingforhertill——tilldaylight。Shedidn’tthinkhecouldgotosleep，didshe？Andshehadbettercome，or——
hebrokeoffonanunfinishedthreat。
ShevanishedintotheunlightedcottagejustasMrs。Fynecameuptotheporch。Nervous，holdingherbreathinthedarknessoftheliving-room，sheheardherbestfriendsay:”Yououghttohavejoinedus，Roderick。”Andthen:”HaveyouseenMissSmithanywhere？”
Florashuddered，expectingAnthonytobreakoutintobetrayingimprecationsonMissSmith’shead，andcauseapainfulandhumiliatingexplanation。Sheimaginedhimfullofhismysteriousferocity。Tohergreatsurprise，Anthony’svoicesoundedverymuchasusual，withperhapsaslighttingeofgrimness。”MissSmith！
No。I’veseennoMissSmith。”
Mrs。Fyneseemedsatisfied——andnotmuchconcernedreally。
Flora，relieved，gotclearawaytoherroomupstairs，andshuttingherdoorquietly，droppedintoachair。Shewasusedtoreproaches，abuse，toallsortsofwickedillusage——shortofactualbeatingonherbody。Otherwiseinexplicableangershadcutandslashedandtrampleddownheryouthwithoutmercy——andmainly，itappeared，becauseshewasthefinancierdeBarral’sdaughterandalsocondemnedtoadegradingsortofpovertythroughtheactionoftreacherousmenwhohadturneduponherfatherinhishourofneed。
Andshethoughtwiththetenderestpossibleaffectionofthatuprightfigurebuttonedupinalongfrock-coat，soft-voicedandhavingbutlittletosaytohisgirl。Sheseemedtofeelhishandclosedroundhers。OnhisflyingvisitstoBrightonhewouldalwayswalkhandinhandwithher。Peoplestaredcovertlyatthem；thebandwasplaying；andtherewasthesea——thebluegaietyofthesea。
Theywerequietlyhappytogether……Itwasallover！
Animmenseanguishofthepresentwrungherheart，andshenearlycriedaloud。Thatdreadofwhatwasbeforeherwhichhadbeeneatinguphercourageslowlyinthecourseofodiousyears，flamedupintoanaccessofpanic，thatsortofheadlongpanicwhichhadalreadydrivenherouttwicetothetopofthecliff-likequarry。
Shejumpedupsayingtoherself:”Whynotnow？Atonce！Yes。
I’lldoitnow——inthedark！”Theveryhorrorofitseemedtogiveheradditionalresolution。
Shecamedownthestaircasequietly，andonlyonthepointofopeningthedoorandbecauseofthediscoverythatitwasunfastened，sherememberedCaptainAnthony’sthreattostayinthegardenallnight。Shehesitated。Shedidnotunderstandthemoodofthatmanclearly。Hewasviolent。Butshehadgonebeyondthepointwherethingsmatter。Whatwouldhethinkofhercomingdowntohim——ashewouldnaturallysuppose。Andeventhatdidn’tmatter。
Hecouldnotdespisehermorethanshedespisedherself。Shemusthavebeenlight-headedbecausethethoughtcameintohermindthatshouldhegetintoungovernablefuryfromdisappointment，andperchancestrangleher，itwouldbeasgoodawaytobedonewithitasany。”Youhadthatthought，”Iexclaimedinwonder。
Withdowncasteyesandspeakingwithanalmostpainstakingprecision(herverylips，herredlips，seemedtomovejustenoughtobeheardandnomore)，shesaidthat，yes，thethoughtcameintoherhead。
Thismakesoneshudderatthemysteriouswaysgirlsacquireknowledge。Forthiswasathought，wildenough，Iadmit，butwhichcouldonlyhavecomefromthedepthsofthatsortofexperiencewhichshehadnothad，andwentfarbeyondayounggirl’spossibleconceptionofthestrongestandmostveiledofhumanemotions。”Hewasthere，ofcourse？”Isaid。”Yes，hewasthere。”Shesawhimonthepathdirectlyshesteppedoutsidetheporch。Hewasverystill。Itwasasthoughhehadbeenstandingtherewithhisfacetothedoorforhours。
Shakenupbythechangingmoodsofpassionandtenderness，hemusthavebeenreadyforanyextravaganceofconduct。Knowingtheprofoundsilenceeachnightbroughttothatnookofthecountry，I
couldimaginethemhavingthefeelingofbeingtheonlytwopeopleonthewideearth。Arowofsixorsevenloftyelmsjustacrosstheroadoppositethecottagemadethenightmoreobscureinthatlittlegarden。Ifthesetwocouldjustmakeouteachotherthatwasall。”Well！Andwereyouverymuchterrified？”Iasked。
Shemademewaitalittlebeforeshesaid，raisinghereyes:”Hewasgentlenessitself。”
Inoticedthreeabominable，drink-soddenloafers，sallowanddirty，whohadcometorangethemselvesinarowwithintenfeetofusagainstthefrontofthepublic-house。TheystaredatFloradeBarral’sbackwithunseeing，mournfulfixity。”Let’smovethiswayalittle，”Iproposed。
Sheturnedatonceandwemadeafewpaces；nottoofartotakeusoutofsightofthehoteldoor，butverynearly。Icouldjustkeepmyeyesonit。Afterall，Ihadnotbeensoverylongwiththegirl。Ifyouweretodisentanglethewordsweactuallyexchangedfrommycommentsyouwouldseethattheywerenotsoverymany，includingeverythingshehadsounexpectedlytoldmeofherstory。
No，notsoverymany。Andnowitseemedasthoughtherewouldbenomore。No！Icouldexpectnomore。Theconfidencewaswonderfulenoughinitsnatureasfarasitwent，andperhapsnottohavebeenexpectedfromanyothergirlunderthesun。AndIfeltalittleashamed。Theoriginofourintimacywastoogruesome。ItwasasiflisteningtoherIhadtakenadvantageofhavingseenherpoorbewildered，scaredsoulwithoutitsveils。ButIwascurious，too；
or，torendermyselfjusticewithoutfalsemodesty——Iwasanxious；
anxioustoknowalittlemore。
IfeltlikeablackmailerallthesamewhenImademyattemptwithalight-heartedremark。”Andsoyougaveupthatwalkyouproposedtotake？””Yes，Igaveupthewalk，”shesaidslowlybeforeraisingherdowncasteyes。Whenshedidsoitwaswithanextraordinaryeffect。
Itwaslikecatchingsightofapieceofbluesky，ofastretchofopenwater。AndforamomentIunderstoodthedesireofthatmantowhomtheseaandskyofhissolitarylifehadappearedsuddenlyincompletewithoutthatglancewhichseemedtobelongtothemboth。
Hewasnotfornothingthesonofapoet。Ilookedintothoseunabashedeyeswhilethegirlwenton，herdemureappearanceandprecisetonechangedtoaveryearnestexpression。Womanisvariousindeed。