第18章

Thereisthusaconsciousandvoluntarywayandaninvoluntaryandunconsciouswayinwhichmentalresultsmaygetaccomplished；

andwefindbothwaysexemplifiedinthehistoryofconversion，givingustwotypes，whichStarbuckcallsthevolitionaltypeandthetypebyself-surrenderrespectively。

Inthevolitionaltypetheregenerativechangeisusuallygradual，andconsistsinthebuildingup，piecebypiece，ofanewsetofmoralandspiritualhabits。Buttherearealwayscriticalpointshereatwhichthemovementforwardseemsmuchmorerapid。ThispsychologicalfactisabundantlyillustratedbyDr。Starbuck。Oureducationinanypracticalaccomplishmentproceedsapparentlybyjerksandstartsjustasthegrowthofourphysicalbodiesdoes。

“Anathlete……sometimesawakenssuddenlytoanunderstandingofthefinepointsofthegameandtoarealenjoymentofit，justastheconvertawakenstoanappreciationofreligion。Ifhekeepsonengaginginthesport，theremaycomeadaywhenallatoncethegameplaysitselfthroughhim——whenheloseshimselfinsomegreatcontest。Inthesameway，amusicianmaysuddenlyreachapointatwhichpleasureinthetechniqueoftheartentirelyfallsaway，andinsomemomentofinspirationhebecomestheinstrumentthroughwhichmusicflows。Thewriterhaschancedtoheartwodifferentmarriedpersons，bothofwhoseweddedliveshadbeenbeautifulfromthebeginning，relatethatnotuntilayearormoreaftermarriagedidtheyawaketothefullblessednessofmarriedlife。Soitiswiththereligiousexperienceofthesepersonswearestudying。”[109]

[109]PsychologyofReligion，p。385。Compare，also，pp。137-144

and262。

Weshallerelonghearstillmoreremarkableillustrationsofsubconsciouslymaturingprocesseseventuatinginresultsofwhichwesuddenlygrowconscious。SirWilliamHamiltonandProfessorLaycockofEdinburghwereamongthefirsttocallattentiontothisclassofeffects；butDr。Carpenterfirst，unlessIammistaken，introducedtheterm“unconsciouscerebration。”whichhassincethenbeenapopularphraseofexplanation。Thefactsarenowknowntousfarmoreextensivelythanhecouldknowthem，andtheadjective“unconscious。”beingformanyofthemalmostcertainlyamisnomer，isbetterreplacedbythevaguerterm“subconscious“or“subliminal。”

Ofthevolitionaltypeofconversionitwouldbeeasytogiveexamples，[110]buttheyareasarulelessinterestingthanthoseoftheself-surrendertype，inwhichthesubconsciouseffectsaremoreabundantandoftenstartling。Iwillthereforehurrytothelatter，themoresobecausethedifferencebetweenthetwotypesisafterallnotradical。Eveninthemostvoluntarilybuilt-upsortofregenerationtherearepassagesofpartialself-surrenderinterposed；andinthegreatmajorityofallcases，whenthewillhaddoneitsuttermosttowardsbringingoneclosetothecompleteunificationaspiredafter，itseemsthattheverylaststepmustbelefttootherforcesandperformedwithoutthehelpofitsactivity。Inotherwords，self-surrenderbecomesthenindispensable。“Thepersonalwill。”

saysDr。Starbuck，“mustbegivenup。Inmanycasesreliefpersistentlyrefusestocomeuntilthepersonceasestoresist，ortomakeaneffortinthedirectionhedesirestogo。”

[110]Forinstance，C。G。Finneyitalicizesthevolitionalelement：“JustatthispointthewholequestionofGospelsalvationopenedtomymindinamannermostmarveloustomeatthetime。IthinkIthensaw，asclearlyasIeverhaveinmylife，therealityandfullnessoftheatonementofChrist。

Gospelsalvationseemedtometobeanofferofsomethingtobeaccepted，andallthatwasnecessaryonmyparttogetmyownconsenttogiveupmysinsandacceptChrist。Afterthisdistinctrevelationhadstoodforsomelittletimebeforemymind，thequestionseemedtobeput，’willyouacceptitnow，to-day？’Ireplied，’Yes；Iwillacceptitto-day，orIwilldieintheattempt！’“Hethenwentintothewoods，wherehedescribeshisstruggles。Hecouldnotpray，hisheartwashardenedinitspride。“IthenreproachedmyselfforhavingpromisedtogivemyhearttoGodbeforeIleftthewoods。WhenI

cametotry，IfoundIcouldnot……Myinwardsoulhungback，andtherewasnogoingoutofmyhearttoGod。Thethoughtwaspressingme，oftherashnessofmypromisethatIwouldgivemyhearttoGodthatday，ordieintheattempt。Itseemedtomeasifthatwasbindingonmysoul；andyetIwasgoingtobreakmyvow。Agreatsinkinganddiscouragementcameoverme，andI

feltalmosttooweaktostanduponmyknees。JustatthismomentIagainthoughtIheardsomeoneapproachme，andIopenedmyeyestoseewhetheritwereso。Butrighttheretherevelationofmyprideofheart，asthegreatdifficultythatstoodintheway，wasdistinctlyshowntome。AnoverwhelmingsenseofmywickednessinbeingashamedtohaveahumanbeingseemeonmykneesbeforeGodtooksuchpowerfulpossessionofme，thatI

criedatthetopofmyvoice，andexclaimedthatIwouldnotleavethatplaceifallthemenonearthandallthedevilsinhellsurroundedme。’What！’Isaid，’suchadegradedsinnerasI

am，onmykneesconfessingmysinstothegreatandholyGod；andashamedtohaveanyhumanbeing，andasinnerlikemyself，findmeonmykneesendeavoringtomakemypeacewithmyoffendedGod！’Thesinappearedawful，infinite。ItbrokemedownbeforetheLord。”Memoirs，pp。14-16，abridged。

“IhadsaidIwouldnotgiveup；butwhenmywillwasbroken，itwasallover。”writesoneofStarbuck’scorrespondents——Anothersays：“Isimplysaid：’Lord，IhavedoneallIcan；IleavethewholematterwithThee，’andimmediatelytherecametomeagreatpeace。”——Another：“AllatonceitoccurredtomethatImightbesaved，too，ifIwouldstoptryingtodoitallmyself，andfollowJesus：somehowIlostmyload。”——Another：“Ifinallyceasedtoresist，andgavemyselfup，thoughitwasahardstruggle。GraduallythefeelingcameovermethatIhaddonemypart，andGodwaswillingtodohis。”[111]——“LordThywillbedone；damnorsave！”criesJohnNelson，[112]exhaustedwiththeanxiousstruggletoescapedamnation；andatthatmomenthissoulwasfilledwithpeace。

[111]Starbuck：Op。cit。，pp。91，114。

[112]ExtractsfromtheJournalofMr。JohnNelson，London，nodate，p。24。

Dr。Starbuckgivesaninteresting，anditseemstomeatrue，account——sofarasconceptionssoschematiccanclaimtruthatall——ofthereasonswhyself-surrenderatthelastmomentshouldbesoindispensable。Tobeginwith，therearetwothingsinthemindofthecandidateforconversion：first，thepresentincompletenessorwrongness，the“sin“whichheiseagertoescapefrom；and，second，thepositiveidealwhichhelongstocompass。Nowwithmostofusthesenseofourpresentwrongnessisafarmoredistinctpieceofourconsciousnessthanistheimaginationofanypositiveidealwecanaimat。Inamajorityofcases，indeed，the“sin“almostexclusivelyengrossestheattention，sothatconversionis“aprocessofstrugglingawayfromsinratherthanofstrivingtowardsrighteousness。”[113]A

man’sconsciouswitandwill，sofarastheystraintowardstheideal，areaimingatsomethingonlydimlyandinaccuratelyimagined。Yetallthewhiletheforcesofmereorganicripeningwithinhimaregoingontowardstheirownprefiguredresult，andhisconsciousstrainingsarelettingloosesubconsciousalliesbehindthescenes，whichintheirwayworktowardsrearrangement；

andtherearrangementtowardswhichallthesedeeperforcestendisprettysurelydefinite，anddefinitelydifferentfromwhatheconsciouslyconceivesanddetermines。Itmayconsequentlybeactuallyinterferedwith(JAMMED，asitwere，likethelostwordwhenweseektooenergeticallytorecallit)，byhisvoluntaryeffortsslantingfromthetruedirection。

[113]Starbuck，p。64。

Starbuckseemstoputhisfingerontherootofthematterwhenhesaysthattoexercisethepersonalwillisstilltoliveintheregionwheretheimperfectselfisthethingmostemphasized。

Where，onthecontrary，thesubconsciousforcestakethelead，itismoreprobablythebetterselfinpossewhichdirectstheoperation。Insteadofbeingclumsilyandvaguelyaimedatfromwithout，itisthenitselftheorganizingcentre。Whatthenmustthepersondo？“Hemustrelax。”saysDr。Starbuck——“thatis，hemustfallbackonthelargerPowerthatmakesforrighteousness，whichhasbeenwellingupinhisownbeing，andletitfinishinitsownwaytheworkithasbegun……Theactofyielding，inthispointofview，isgivingone’sselfovertothenewlife，makingitthecentreofanewpersonality，andliving，fromwithin，thetruthofitwhichhadbeforebeenviewedobjectively。”[114]

[114]Starbuck，p。115。

“Man’sextremityisGod’sopportunity“isthetheologicalwayofputtingthisfactoftheneedofself-surrender；whilstthephysiologicalwayofstatingitwouldbe，“Letonedoallinone’spower，andone’snervoussystemwilldotherest。”Bothstatementsacknowledgethesamefact。[115]

[115]Starbuck，p。113。

Tostateitintermsofourownsymbolism：Whenthenewcentreofpersonalenergyhasbeensubconsciouslyincubatedsolongastobejustreadytoopenintoflower，“handsoff“istheonlywordforus，itmustburstforthunaided！

Wehaveusedthevagueandabstractlanguageofpsychology。Butsince，inanyterms，thecrisisdescribedisthethrowingofourconsciousselvesuponthemercyofpowerswhich，whatevertheymaybe，aremoreidealthanweareactually，andmakeforourredemption，youseewhyself-surrenderhasbeenandalwaysmustberegardedasthevitalturning-pointofthereligiouslife，sofarasthereligiouslifeisspiritualandnoaffairofouterworksandritualandsacraments。OnemaysaythatthewholedevelopmentofChristianityininwardnesshasconsistedinlittlemorethanthegreaterandgreateremphasisattachedtothiscrisisofself-surrender。FromCatholicismtoLutheranism，andthentoCalvinism；fromthattoWesleyanism；andfromthis，outsideoftechnicalChristianityaltogether，topure“liberalism“ortranscendentalidealism，whetherornotofthemind-curetype，takinginthemediaevalmystics，thequietists，thepietists，andquakersbytheway，wecantracethestagesofprogresstowardstheideaofanimmediatespiritualhelp，experiencedbytheindividualinhisforlornnessandstandinginnoessentialneedofdoctrinalapparatusorpropitiatorymachinery。

Psychologyandreligionarethusinperfectharmonyuptothispoint，sincebothadmitthatthereareforcesseeminglyoutsideoftheconsciousindividualthatbringredemptiontohislife。

Neverthelesspsychology，definingtheseforcesas“subconscious。”

andspeakingoftheireffects，asdueto“incubation。”or“cerebration。”impliesthattheydonottranscendtheindividual’spersonality；andhereinshedivergesfromChristiantheology，whichinsiststhattheyaredirectsupernaturaloperationsoftheDeity。Iproposetoyouthatwedonotyetconsiderthisdivergencefinal，butleavethequestionforawhileinabeyance——continuedinquirymayenableustogetridofsomeoftheapparentdiscord。

Revert，then，foramomentmoretothepsychologyofself-surrender。

Whenyoufindamanlivingontheraggededgeofhisconsciousness，pentintohissinandwantandincompleteness，andconsequentlyinconsolable，andthensimplytellhimthatalliswellwithhim，thathemuststophisworry，breakwithhisdiscontent，andgiveuphisanxiety，youseemtohimtocomewithpureabsurdities。TheonlypositiveconsciousnesshehastellshimthatallisNOTwell，andthebetterwayyouoffersoundssimplyasifyouproposedtohimtoassertcold-bloodedfalsehoods。“Thewilltobelieve“cannotbestretchedasfarasthat。Wecanmakeourselvesmorefaithfultoabeliefofwhichwehavetherudiments，butwecannotcreateabeliefoutofwholeclothwhenourperceptionactivelyassuresusofitsopposite。

Thebettermindproposedtouscomesinthatcaseintheformofapurenegationoftheonlymindwehave，andwecannotactivelywillapurenegation。

Thereareonlytwowaysinwhichitispossibletogetridofanger，worry，fear，despair，orotherundesirableaffections。

Oneisthatanoppositeaffectionshouldoverpoweringlybreakoverus，andtheotherisbygettingsoexhaustedwiththestrugglethatwehavetostop——sowedropdown，giveup，andDON’TCAREanylonger。Ouremotionalbrain-centresstrikework，andwelapseintoatemporaryapathy。Nowthereisdocumentaryproofthatthisstateoftemporaryexhaustionnotinfrequentlyformspartoftheconversioncrisis。Solongastheegoisticworryofthesicksoulguardsthedoor，theexpansiveconfidenceofthesouloffaithgainsnopresence。Butlettheformerfaintaway，evenbutforamoment，andthelattercanprofitbytheopportunity，and，havingonceacquiredpossession，mayretainit。

Carlyle’sTeufelsdrockhpassesfromtheeverlastingNototheeverlastingYesthrougha“CentreofIndifference。”

Letmegiveyouagoodillustrationofthisfeatureintheconversionprocess。Thatgenuinesaint，DavidBrainerd，describeshisowncrisisinthefollowingwords：