第17章

WhenErnestwasinhissecondyear，Theobald，asIhavealreadysaid，begantoteachhimtoread。Hebegantowhiphimtwodaysafterhehadbeguntoteachhim。

“Itwaspainful。”ashesaidtoChristina，butitwastheonlythingtodoanditwasdone。Thechildwaspuny，whiteandsickly，sotheysentcontinuallyforthedoctorwhodosedhimwithcalomelandJames’spowder。Allwasdoneinlove，anxiety，timidity，stupidity，andimpatience。Theywerestupidinlittlethings；andhethatisstupidinlittlewillbestupidalsoinmuch。

PresentlyoldMrPontifexdied，andthencametherevelationofthelittlealterationhehadmadeinhiswillsimultaneouslywithhisbequesttoErnest。Itwasratherhardtobear，especiallyastherewasnowayofconveyingabitoftheirmindstothetestatornowthathecouldnolongerhurtthem。Asregardstheboyhimselfanyonemustseethatthebequestwouldbeanunmitigatedmisfortunetohim。Toleavehimasmallindependencewasperhapsthegreatestinjurywhichonecouldinflictuponayoungman。Itwouldcripplehisenergies，anddeadenhisdesireforactiveemployment。Manyayouthwasledintoevilcoursesbytheknowledgethatonarrivingatmajorityhewouldcomeintoafewthousands。Theymightsurelyhavebeentrustedtohavetheirboy’sinterestsatheart，andmustbebetterjudgesofthoseintereststhanhe，attwenty-one，couldbeexpectedtobe：besidesifJonadab，thesonofRechab’sfather——orperhapsitmightbesimplerunderthecircumstancestosayRechabatonce——ifRechab，then，hadlefthandsomelegaciestohisgrandchildren——whyJonadabmightnothavefoundthosechildrensoeasytodealwith，etc。“Mydear。”saidTheobald，afterhavingdiscussedthematterwithChristinaforthetwentiethtime，“mydear，theonlythingtoguideandconsoleusundermisfortunesofthiskindistotakerefugeinpracticalwork。IwillgoandpayavisittoMrsThompson。”

OnthosedaysMrsThompsonwouldbetoldthathersinswereallwashedwhite，etc。，alittlesoonerandalittlemoreperemptorilythanonothers。

IusedtostayatBattersbyforadayortwosometimes，whilemygodsonandhisbrotherandsisterwerechildren。IhardlyknowwhyIwent，forTheobaldandIgrewmoreandmoreapart，butonegetsintogroovessometimes，andthesupposedfriendshipbetweenmyselfandthePontifexescontinuedtoexist，thoughitwasnowlittlemorethanrudimentary。Mygodsonpleasedmemorethaneitheroftheotherchildren，buthehadnotmuchofthebuoyancyofchildhood，andwasmorelikeapuny，sallowlittleoldmanthanIliked。Theyoungpeople，however，wereveryreadytobefriendly。

IrememberErnestandhisbrotherhoveredroundmeonthefirstdayofoneofthesevisitswiththeirhandsfulloffadingflowers，whichtheyatlengthprofferedme。OnthisIdidwhatIsupposewasexpected：Iinquirediftherewasashopnearwheretheycouldbuysweeties。Theysaidtherewas，soIfeltinmypockets，butonlysucceededinfindingtwopencehalfpennyinsmallmoney。ThisI

gavethem，andtheyoungsters，agedfourandthree，toddledoffalone。Erelongtheyreturned，andErnestsaid，“Wecan’tgetsweetiesforallthismoney“(Ifeltrebuked，butnorebukewasintended)；“wecangetsweetiesforthis“(showingapenny)，“andforthis“(showinganotherpenny)，“butwecannotgetthemforallthis。”andheaddedthehalfpennytothetwopence。Isupposetheyhadwantedatwopennycake，orsomethinglikethat。Iwasamused，andleftthemtosolvethedifficultytheirownway，beinganxioustoseewhattheywoulddo。

PresentlyErnestsaid，“Maywegiveyoubackthis“(showingthehalfpenny)“andnotgiveyoubackthisandthis？”(showingthepence)。Iassented，andtheygaveasighofreliefandwentontheirwayrejoicing。Afewmorepresentsofpenceandsmalltoyscompletedtheconquest，andtheybegantotakemeintotheirconfidence。

TheytoldmeagooddealwhichIamafraidIoughtnottohavelistenedto。TheysaidthatifgrandpapahadlivedlongerhewouldmostlikelyhavebeenmadeaLord，andthatthenpapawouldhavebeentheHonourableandReverend，butthatgrandpapawasnowinheavensingingbeautifulhymnswithgrandmammaAllabytoJesusChrist，whowasveryfondofthem；andthatwhenErnestwasill，hismammahadtoldhimheneednotbeafraidofdyingforhewouldgostraighttoheaven，ifhewouldonlybesorryforhavingdonehislessonssobadlyandvexedhisdearpapa，andifhewouldpromisenever，nevertovexhimanymore；andthatwhenhegottoheavengrandpapaandgrandmammaAllabywouldmeethim，andhewouldbealwayswiththem，andtheywouldbeverygoodtohimandteachhimtosingeversuchbeautifulhymns，morebeautifulbyfarthanthosewhichhewasnowsofondof，etc。，etc。；buthedidnotwishtodie，andwasgladwhenhegotbetter，fortherewerenokittensinheaven，andhedidnotthinktherewerecowslipstomakecowslipteawith。

Theirmotherwasplainlydisappointedinthem。“Mychildrenarenoneofthemgeniuses，MrOverton。”shesaidtomeatbreakfastonemorning。“Theyhavefairabilities，and，thankstoTheobald’stuition，theyareforwardfortheiryears，buttheyhavenothinglikegenius：geniusisathingapartfromthis，isitnot？”

OfcourseIsaiditwas“athingquiteapartfromthis。”butifmythoughtshadbeenlaidbare，theywouldhaveappearedas“Givememycoffeeimmediately，ma’am，anddon’ttalknonsense。”Ihavenoideawhatgeniusis，butsofarasIcanformanyconceptionaboutit，I

shouldsayitwasastupidwordwhichcannotbetoosoonabandonedtoscientificandliteraryclaqueurs。

IdonotknowexactlywhatChristinaexpected，butIshouldimagineitwassomethinglikethis：“Mychildrenoughttobeallgeniuses，becausetheyaremineandTheobald’s，anditisnaughtyofthemnottobe；but，ofcourse，theycannotbesogoodandcleverasTheobaldandIwere，andiftheyshowsignsofbeingsoitwillbenaughtyofthem。Happily，however，theyarenotthis，andyetitisverydreadfulthattheyarenot。Asforgenius——hoity-toity，indeed——

why，ageniusshouldturnintellectualsummersaultsassoonasitisborn，andnoneofmychildrenhaveyetbeenabletogetintothenewspapers。Iwillnothavechildrenofminegivethemselvesairs——

itisenoughforthemthatTheobaldandIshoulddoso。”

Shedidnotknow，poorwoman，thatthetruegreatnesswearsaninvisiblecloak，undercoverofwhichitgoesinandoutamongmenwithoutbeingsuspected；ifitscloakdoesnotconcealitfromitselfalways，andfromallothersformanyyears，itsgreatnesswillerelongshrinktoveryordinarydimensions。What，then，itmaybeasked，isthegoodofbeinggreat？Theansweristhatyoumayunderstandgreatnessbetterinothers，whetheraliveordead，andchoosebettercompanyfromtheseandenjoyandunderstandthatcompanybetterwhenyouhavechosenit——alsothatyoumaybeabletogivepleasuretothebestpeopleandliveinthelivesofthosewhoareyetunborn。This，onewouldthink，wassubstantialgainenoughforgreatnesswithoutitswantingtoriderough-shodoverus，evenwhendisguisedashumility。

IwasthereonaSunday，andobservedtherigourwithwhichtheyoungpeopleweretaughttoobservetheSabbath；theymightnotcutoutthings，norusetheirpaintboxonaSunday，andthistheythoughtratherhard，becausetheircousinstheJohnPontifexesmightdothesethings。TheircousinsmightplaywiththeirtoytrainonSunday，butthoughtheyhadpromisedthattheywouldrunnonebutSundaytrains，alltraffichadbeenprohibited。Onetreatonlywasallowedthem——onSundayeveningstheymightchoosetheirownhymns。

Inthecourseoftheeveningtheycameintothedrawing-room，and，asanespecialtreat，weretosingsomeoftheirhymnstome，insteadofsayingthem，sothatImighthearhownicelytheysang。

Ernestwastochoosethefirsthymn，andhechoseoneaboutsomepeoplewhoweretocometothesunsettree。Iamnobotanist，anddonotknowwhatkindoftreeasunsettreeis，butthewordsbegan，“Come，come，come；cometothesunsettreeforthedayispastandgone。”ThetunewasratherprettyandhadtakenErnest’sfancy，forhewasunusuallyfondofmusicandhadasweetlittlechild’svoicewhichhelikedusing。

Hewas，however，verylateinbeingabletosoundahardit“c“or“k。”and，insteadofsaying“Come。”hesaid“Tumtum，tum。”

“Ernest。”saidTheobald，fromthearm-chairinfrontofthefire，wherehewassittingwithhishandsfoldedbeforehim，“don’tyouthinkitwouldbeveryniceifyouweretosay’come’likeotherpeople，insteadof’tum’？”

“Idosaytum。”repliedErnest，meaningthathehadsaid“come。”

TheobaldwasalwaysinabadtemperonSundayevening。Whetheritisthattheyareasmuchboredwiththedayastheirneighbours，orwhethertheyaretired，orwhateverthecausemaybe，clergymenareseldomattheirbestonSundayevening；Ihadalreadyseensignsthateveningthatmyhostwascross，andwasalittlenervousathearingErnestsaysopromptly“Idosaytum。”whenhispapahadsaidhedidnotsayitasheshould。

Theobaldnoticedthefactthathewasbeingcontradictedinamoment。Hegotupfromhisarm-chairandwenttothepiano。

“No，Ernest，youdon’t。”hesaid，“yousaynothingofthekind，yousay’tum，’not’come。’Nowsay’come’afterme，asIdo。”

“Tum。”saidErnest，atonce；“isthatbetter？”Ihavenodoubthethoughtitwas，butitwasnot。

“Now，Ernest，youarenottakingpains：youarenottryingasyououghttodo。Itishightimeyoulearnedtosay’come，’why，Joeycansay’come，’can’tyou，Joey？”

“Yeth，Ican。”repliedJoey，andhesaidsomethingwhichwasnotfaroff“come。”

“There，Ernest，doyouhearthat？There’snodifficultyaboutit，norshadowofdifficulty。Now，takeyourowntime，thinkaboutit，andsay’come’afterme。”

Theboyremainedsilentafewsecondsandthensaid“tum“again。

Ilaughed，butTheobaldturnedtomeimpatientlyandsaid，“Pleasedonotlaugh，Overton；itwillmaketheboythinkitdoesnotmatter，anditmattersagreatdeal；“thenturningtoErnesthesaid，“Now，Ernest，Iwillgiveyouonemorechance，andifyoudon’tsay’come，’Ishallknowthatyouareself-willedandnaughty。”

Helookedveryangry，andashadecameoverErnest’sface，likethatwhichcomesuponthefaceofapuppywhenitisbeingscoldedwithoutunderstandingwhy。Thechildsawwellwhatwascomingnow，wasfrightened，and，ofcourse，said“tum“oncemore。