第18章

OngettingbacktothehouseIinformedMissHalcombeofwhatIintendedtodo。ShelookedsurPrisedanduneasywhileIwasexplainingmypurpose，butshemadenopositiveobjectiontotheexecutionofit。Sheonlysaid，`Ihopeitmayendwell。’Justasshewasleavingmeagain，Istoppedhertoinquire，ascalmlyasIcould，afterMissFairlie’shealth。Shewasinbetterspirits，andMissHalcombehopedshemightbeinducedtotakealittlewalkingexercisewhiletheafternoonsunlasted。

Ireturnedtomyownroomtoresumesettingthedrawingsinorder。Itwasnecessarytodothis，anddoublynecessarytokeepmymindemployedonanythingthatwouldhelptodistractmyattentionfrommyself，andfromthehopelessfuturethatlaybeforeme。FromtimetotimeIpausedinmyworktolookoutofwindowandwatchtheskyasthesunsanknearerandnearertothehorizon。OnoneofthoseoccasionsIsawafigureonthebroadgravelwalkundermywindow。ItwasMissFairlie。

Ihadnotseenhersincethemorning，andIhadhardlyspokentoherthen。AnotherdayatLimmeridgewasallthatremainedtome，andafterthatdaymyeyesmightneverlookonheragain。Thisthoughtwasenoughtoholdmeatthewindow。Ihadsufficientconsiderationforhertoarrangetheblindsothatshemightnotseemeifshelookedup，butIhadnostrengthtoresistthetemptationoflettingmyeyes，atleast，followherasfarastheycouldonherwalk。

Shewasdressedinabrowncloak，withaPlainblacksilkgownunderit。Onherheadwasthesamesimplestrawhatwhichshehadwornonthemorningwhenwefirstmet。Aveilwasattachedtoitnowwhichhidherfacefromme。ByhersidetrottedalittleItaliangreyhound，thepetcompanionofallherwalks，smartlydressedinascarletclothwrapper，tokeepthesharpairfromhisdelicateskin。Shedidnotseemtonoticethedog。Shewalkedstraightforward，withherheaddroopingalittle，andherarmsfoldedinhercloak。Thedeadleaves，whichhadwhirledinthewindbeforemewhenIhadheardofhermarriageengagementinthemorning，whirledinthewindbeforeher，androseandfellandscatteredthemselvesatherfeetasshewalkedoninthepalewaningsunlight-Thedogshiveredandtrembled，andpressedagainstherdressimpatientlyfornoticeandencouragement。

Butsheneverheededhim。Shewalkedon，fartherandfartherawayfromme，withthedeadleaveswhirlingaboutheronthepath——walkedon，tillmyachingeyescouldseehernomore，andIwasleftaloneagainwithmyownheavyheart。

Inanotherhour’stimeIhaddonemywork，andthesunsetwasathand。

Igotmyhatandcoatinthehall，andslippedoutofthehousewithoutmeetinganyone。

Thecloudswerewildinthewesternheaven，andthewindblewchillfromthesea。farastheshorewas，thesoundofthesurfsweptovertheinterveningmoorland，andbeatdrearilyinmyearswhenIenteredthechurchyard。

Notalivingcreaturewasinsight。TheplacelookedlonelierthaneverasIchosemyposition，andwaitedandwatched，withmyeyesonthewhitecrossthatroseoverMrsFairlie’sgrave。

[NextChapter][TableofContents]WomaninWhite：Chapter6[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter6XIITheexposedsituationofthechurchyardhadobligedmetobecautiousinchoosingthepositionthatIwastooccupy。

Themainentrancetothechurchwasonthesidenexttotheburial-ground，andthedoorwasscreenedbyaporchwalledinoneitherside。Aftersomelittlehesitation，causedbynaturalreluctancetoconcealmyself，indispensableasthatconcealmentwastotheobjectinview，Ihadresolvedonenteringtheporch。Aloopholewindowwaspiercedineachofitssidewalls。ThroughoneofthesewindowsIcouldseeMrsFairlie’sgrave。Theotherlookedtowardsthestonequarryinwhichthesexton’scottagewasbuilt。Beforeme，frontingtheporchentrance，wasapatchofbareburial-ground，alineoflowstonewall，andastripoflonelybrownhill，withthesunsetcloudssailingheavilyoveritbeforethestrong，steadywind。Nolivingcreaturewasvisibleoraudible——nobirdflewbyme，nodogbarkedfromthesexton’scottage。Thepausesinthedullheatingofthesurfwerefilledupbythedrearyrustlingofthedwarftreesnearthegrave，andthecoldfaintbubbleofthebrookoveritsstonybed。Adrearysceneandadrearyhour。MyspiritssankfastasIcountedouttheminutesoftheeveninginmyhiding-placeunderthechurchporch。

Itwasnottwilightyet——thelightofthesettingsunstilllingeredintheheavens，andlittlemorethanthefirsthalf-hourofmysolitarywatchhadelapsed——whenIheardfootstepsandavoice。Thefootstepswereapproachingfromtheothersideofthechurch，andthevoicewasawoman’s。

`Don’tyoufret，mydear，abouttheletter，’saidthevoice。`Igaveittotheladquitesafe，andtheladhetookitfrommewithoutaword。

HewenthiswayandIwentmine，andnotalivingsoulfollowedmeafterwards——thatI’llwarrant。’

Thesewordsstrungupmyattentiontoapitchofexpectationthatwasalmostpainful。Therewasapauseofsilence，butthefootstepsstilladvanced。

Inanothermomenttwopersons，bothwomen，passedwithinmyrangeofviewfromtheporchwindow。Theywerewalkingstraighttowardsthegrave；andthereforetheyhadtheirbacksturnedtowardsme。

Oneofthewomenwasdressedinabonnetandshawl。Theotherworealongtravelling-cloakofadark-bluecolour，withthehooddrawnoverherhead。Afewinchesofhergownwerevisiblebelowthecloak。MyheartbeatfastasInotedthecolour——itwaswhite。

Afteradvancingabouthalf-waybetweenthechurchandthegravetheystopped，andthewomaninthecloakturnedherheadtowardshercompanion。

Buthersideface，whichabonnetmightnowhaveallowedmetosee，washiddenbytheheavy，projectingedgeofthehood。

`Mindyoukeepthatcomfortablewarmcloakon，’saidthesamevoicewhichIhadalreadyheard——thevoiceofthewomanintheshawl。`MrsToddisrightaboutyourlookingtooparticular，yesterday，allinwhite。

I’llwalkaboutalittlewhileyou’rehere，churchyardsbeingnotatallinmyway，whatevertheymaybeinyours。FinishwhatyouwanttodobeforeIcomeback，andletusbesureandgethomeagainbeforenight。’

Withthosewordssheturnedabout，andretracinghersteps，advancedwithherfacetowardsme。Itwasthefaceofanelderlywoman，brown，rugged，andhealthy，withnothingdishonestorsuspiciousinthelookofit。Closetothechurchshestoppedtopullhershawlcloserroundher。

`Queer，’shesaidtoherself，`alwaysqueer，withherwhimsandherways，eversinceIcanrememberher。Harmless，though——asharmless，poorsoul，asalittlechild。’

Shesighed——lookedabouttheburial-groundnervously——shookherhead，asifthedrearyprospectbynomeanspleasedher，anddisappearedroundthecornerofthechurch。

IdoubtedforamomentwhetherIoughttofollowandspeaktoherornot。Myintenseanxietytofindmyselffacetofacewithhercompanionhelpedmetodecideinthenegative。Icouldensureseeingthewomanintheshawlbywaitingnearthechurchyarduntilshecameback——althoughitseemedmorethandoubtfulwhethershecouldgivemetheinformationofwhichIwasinsearch。Thepersonwhohaddeliveredtheletterwasoflittleconsequence。Thepersonwhohadwrittenitwastheonecentreofinterest，andtheonesourceofinformation，andthatpersonInowfeltconvincedwasbeforemeinthechurchyard。

WhiletheseideaswerepassingthroughmymindIsawthewomaninthecloakapproachclosetothegrave，andstandlookingatitforalittlewhile。Shethenglancedallroundher，andtakingawhitelinenclothorhandkerchieffromunderhercloak，turnedasidetowardsthebrook。Thelittlestreamranintothechurchyardunderatinyarchwayinthebottomofthewall，andranoutagain，afterawindingcourseofafewdozenyards，underasimilaropening。Shedippedtheclothinthewater，andreturnedtothegrave。Isawherkissthewhitecross，thenkneeldownbeforetheinscription，andapplyherwetclothtothecleansingofit。

AfterconsideringhowIcouldshowmyselfwiththeleastpossiblechanceoffrighteningher，Iresolvedtocrossthewallbeforeme，toskirtrounditoutside，andtoenterthechurchyardagainbythestilenearthegrave，inorderthatshemightseemeasIapproached。ShewassoabsorbedoverheremploymentthatshedidnothearmecominguntilIhadsteppedoverthestile。Thenshelookedup，startedtoherfeetwithafaintcry，andstoodfacingmeinspeechlessandmotionlessterror。

`Don’tbefrightened，’Isaid。`Surelyyourememberme？’

IstoppedwhileIspoke——thenadvancedafewstepsgently——thenstoppedagain——andsoapproachedbylittleandlittletillIwasclosetoher。Iftherehadbeenanydoubtstillleftinmymind，itmusthavebeennowsetatrest。There，speakingaffrightedlyforitself——therewasthesamefaceconfrontingmeoverMrsFairlie’sgravewhichhadfirstlookedintomineonthehigh-roadbynight。

`Yourememberme？’Isaid。`Wemetverylate，andIhelpedyoutofindthewaytoLondon。Surelyyouhavenotforgottenthat？’

Herfeaturesrelaxed，andshedrewaheavybreathofrelief。Isawthenewlifeofrecognitionstirringslowlyunderthedeathlikestillnesswhichfearhadsetonherface。

`Don’tattempttospeaktomejustyet，’Iwenton。`Taketimetorecoveryourself——taketimetofeelquitecertainthatIamafriend。’

`Youareverykindtome，’shemurmured。`Askindnowasyouwerethen。’

Shestopped，andIkeptsilenceonmyside。Iwasnotgrantingtimeforcomposuretoheronly，Iwasgainingtimealsoformyself。Underthewanwildeveninglight，thatwomanandIweremettogetheragain，agravebetweenus，thedeadaboutus，thelonesomehillsclosingusroundoneveryside。Thetime，theplace，thecircumstancesunderwhichwenowstoodfacetofaceintheeveningstillnessofthatdrearyvalley——thelifelonginterestswhichmighthangsuspendedonthenextchancewordsthatpassedbetweenus——thesensethat，foraughtIknewtothecontrary，thewholefutureofLauraFairlie’slifemightbedetermined，forgoodorforevil，bymywinningorlosingtheconfidenceoftheforlorncreaturewhostoodtremblingbyhermother’sgrave——allthreatenedtoshakethesteadinessandtheself-controlonwhicheveryinchoftheprogressImightyetmakenowdepended。Itriedhard，asIfeltthis，topossessmyselfofallmyresources；Ididmyutmosttoturnthefewmomentsforreflectiontothebestaccount。

`Areyoucalmernow？’Isaid，assoonasIthoughtittimetospeakagain。`Canyoutalktomewithoutfeelingfrightened，andwithoutforgettingthatIamafriend？’