第5章

OnesuchindulgenceledmeinthecourseofmysecondyearintoanadventurewhichImustrelate：indeed，itistheverypointIhavebeenaimingfor，sincethatwaswhatbroughtmeinacquaintancewithJimPinkerton。IsatdownalonetodinneroneOctoberdaywhentherustyleaveswerefallingandscuttlingontheboulevard，andthemindsofimpressionablemeninclinedinaboutanequaldegreetowardssadnessandconviviality。Therestaurantwasnogreatplace，butboastedaconsiderablecellarandalongprintedlistofvintages。ThisI

wasperusingwiththedoublezestofamanwhoisfondofwineandaloverofbeautifulnames，whenmyeyefell(neartheendofthecard)onthatnotveryfamousorfamiliarbrand，Roussillon。IremembereditwasawineIhadnevertasted，orderedabottle，founditexcellent，andwhenIhaddiscussedthecontents，called(accordingtomyhabit)forafinalpint。ItappearstheydidnotkeepRoussilloninhalf-bottles。“Allright。”saidI。“Anotherbottle。”Thetablesatthiseating-houseareclosetogether；andthenextthingIcanremember，Iwasinsomewhatloudconversationwithmynearestneighbours。

FromtheseImusthavegraduallyextendedmyattentions；forI

haveaclearrecollectionofgazingaboutaroominwhicheverychairwashalfturnedroundandeveryfaceturnedsmilinglytomine。IcanevenrememberwhatIwassayingatthemoment；

butaftertwentyyears，theembersofshamearestillalive；andI

prefertogiveyourimaginationthecue，bysimplymentioningthatmymusewasthepatriotic。Ithadbeenmydesigntoadjournforcoffeeinthecompanyofsomeofthesenewfriends；

butIwasnosooneronthesidewalkthanIfoundmyselfunaccountablyalone。Thecircumstancescarcesurprisedmeatthetime，muchlessnow；butIwassomewhatchagrinedalittleaftertofindIhadwalkedintoakiosque。IbegantowonderifI

wereanytheworseformylastbottle，anddecidedtosteadymyselfwithcoffeeandbrandy。IntheCafedelaSource，whereIwentforthisrestorative，thefountainwasplaying，and(whatgreatlysurprisedme)themillandthevariousmechanicalfiguresontherockeryappearedtohavebeenfreshlyrepairedandperformedthemostenchantingantics。Thecafewasextraordinarilyhotandbright，witheverydetailofaconspicuousclearness，fromthefacesofthegueststothetypeofthenewspapersonthetables，andthewholeapartmentswangtoandfrolikeahammock，withanexhilaratingmotion。

ForsomewhileIwassoextremelypleasedwiththeseparticularsthatIthoughtIcouldneverbewearyofbeholdingthem：thendroppedofasuddenintoacauselesssadness；andthen，withthesameswiftnessandspontaneity，arrivedattheconclusionthatIwasdrunkandhadbettergettobed。

Itwasbutasteportwotomyhotel，whereIgotmylightedcandlefromtheporterandmountedthefourflightstomyownroom。AlthoughIcouldnotdenythatIwasdrunk，Iwasatthesametimelucidlyrationalandpractical。Ihadbutonepreoccupation——tobeupintimeonthemorrowformywork；

andwhenIobservedtheclockonmychimney-piecetohavestopped，Idecidedtogodownstairsagainandgivedirectionstotheporter。Leavingthecandleburningandmydooropen，tobeaguidetomeonmyreturn，Isetforthaccordingly。Thehousewasquitedark；butastherewereonlythethreedoorsoneachlanding，itwasimpossibletowander，andIhadnothingtodobutdescendthestairsuntilIsawtheglimmeroftheporter’snightlight。Icountedfourflights：noporter。Itwaspossible，ofcourse，thatIhadreckonedincorrectly；soIwentdownanotherandanother，andanother，stillcountingasIwent，untilIhadreachedthepreposterousfigureofnineflights。ItwasnowquiteclearthatIhadsomehowpassedtheporter’slodgewithoutremarkingit；indeed，Iwas，atthelowestfigure，fivepairsofstairsbelowthestreet，andplungedintheverybowelsoftheearth。Thatmyhotelshouldthusbefoundeduponcatacombswasadiscoveryofconsiderableinterest；andifIhadnotbeeninaframeofmindentirelybusinesslike，Imighthavecontinuedtoexploreallnightthissubterraneanempire。ButI

wasboundImustbeupbetimesonthenextmorning，andforthatenditwasimperativethatIshouldfindtheporter。Ifacedaboutaccordingly，andcountingwithpainfulcare，remountedtowardsthelevelofthestreet。Five，six，andsevenflightsI

climbed，andstilltherewasnoporter。Ibegantobewearyofthejob，andreflectingthatIwasnowclosetomyownroom，decidedIshouldgotobed。Eight，nine，ten，eleven，twelve，thirteenflightsImounted；andmyopendoorseemedtobeaswhollylosttomeastheporterandhisfloatingdip。I

rememberedthatthehousestoodbutsixstoriesatitshighestpoint，fromwhichitappeared(onthemostmoderatecomputation)Iwasnowthreestorieshigherthantheroof。Myoriginalsenseofamusementwassucceededbyanotunnaturalirritation。“MyroomhasjustGOTtobehere。”saidI，andI

steppedtowardsthedoorwithoutspreadarms。Therewasnodoorandnowall；inplaceofeitherthereyawnedbeforemeadarkcorridor，inwhichIcontinuedtoadvanceforsometimewithoutencounteringthesmallestopposition。Andthisinahousewhoseextremeareascantilycontainedthreesmallrooms，anarrowlanding，andthestair！Thethingwasmanifestlynonsense；andyouwillscarcelybesurprisedtolearnthatInowbegantolosemytemper。AtthisjunctureI

perceivedafilteringoflightalongthefloor，stretchedforthmyhandwhichencounteredtheknobofadoor-handle，andwithoutfurtherceremonyenteredaroom。Ayoungladywaswithin；shewasgoingtobed，andhertoiletwasfaradvanced，ortheotherwayabout，ifyouprefer。

“Ihopeyouwillpardonthisintrusion。”saidI；“butmyroomisNo。12，andsomethinghasgonewrongwiththisblamedhouse。”

Shelookedatmeamoment；andthen，“Ifyouwillstepoutsideforamoment，Iwilltakeyouthere。”saysshe。

Thus，withperfectcomposureonbothsides，thematterwasarranged。Iwaitedawhileoutsideherdoor。Presentlysherejoinedme，inadressing-gown，tookmyhand，ledmeupanotherflight，whichmadethefourthabovetheleveloftheroof，andshutmeintomyownroom，where(beingquitewearyafterthesecontraordinaryexplorations)Iturnedin，andslumberedlikeachild。

Itellyouthethingcalmly，asitappearedtometopass；butthenextday，whenIawokeandputmemoryinthewitness-box，I

couldnotconcealfrommyselfthatthetalepresentedagoodmanyimprobablefeatures。Ihadnomindforthestudio，afterall，andwentinsteadtotheLuxembourggardens，there，amongthesparrowsandthestatuesandthefallingleaves，tocoolandclearmyhead。ItisagardenIhavealwaysloved。Yousitthereinapublicplaceofhistoryandfiction。BarrasandFouchehavelookedfromthesewindows。LousteauanddeBanville(oneasrealastheother)haverhymeduponthesebenches。Thecitytramplesbywithouttherailingstoalivelymeasure；andwithinandaboutyou，treesrustle，childrenandsparrowsuttertheirsmallcries，andthestatueslookonforever。

Here，then，inaseatoppositethegalleryentrance，Isettoworkontheeventsofthelastnight，todisengage(ifitwerepossible)

truthfromfiction。

Thehouse，bydaylight，hadprovedtobesixstorieshigh，thesameasever。Icouldfind，withallmyarchitecturalexperience，noroominitsaltitudeforthoseinterminablestairways，nowidthbetweenitswallsforthatlongcorridor，whereIhadtrampedatnight。Andtherewasyetagreaterdifficulty。Ihadreadsomewhereanaphorismthateverythingmaybefalsetoitselfsavehumannature。Ahousemightelongateorenlargeitself——orseemtodosotoagentlemanwhohadbeendining。Theoceanmightdryup，therocksmeltinthesun，thestarsfallfromheavenlikeautumnapples；andtherewasnothingintheseincidentstobogglethephilosopher。Butthecaseoftheyoungladystooduponadifferentfoundation。

Girlswerenotgoodenough，ornotgoodthatway，orelsetheyweretoogood。Iwasreadytoacceptanyoftheseviews：allpointedtothesameconclusion，whichIwasthusalreadyonthepointofreaching，whenafreshargumentoccurred，andinstantlyconfirmedit。Icouldremembertheexactwordswehadeachsaid；andIhadspoken，andshehadreplied，inEnglish。Plainly，then，thewholeaffairwasanillusion：

catacombs，andstairs，andcharitablelady，allwereequallythestuffofdreams。

Ihadjustcometothisdetermination，whenthereblewaflawofwindthroughtheautumnalgardens；thedeadleavesshowereddown，andaflightofsparrows，thickasasnowfall，wheeledabovemyheadwithsuddenpipings。Thisagreeablebustlewastheaffairofamoment，butitstartledmefromtheabstractionintowhichIhadfallenlikeasummons。Isatbrisklyup，andasIdidso，myeyesrestedonthefigureofaladyinabrownjacketandcarryingapaint-box。Byhersidewalkedafellowsomeyearsolderthanmyself，withaneaselunderhisarm；andalikebytheircourseandcargoImightjudgetheywereboundforthegallery，wheretheladywas，doubtless，engageduponsomecopying。YoucanimaginemysurprisewhenIrecognizedinhertheheroineofmyadventure。

Toputthematterbeyondquestion，oureyesmet，andshe，seeingherselfrememberedandrecallingthetriminwhichI

hadlastbeheldher，lookedswiftlyonthegroundwithjustashadowofconfusion。

Icouldnottellyouto-dayifshewereplainorpretty；butshehadbehavedwithsomuchgoodsense，andIhadcutsopoorafigureinherpresence，thatIbecameinstantlyfiredwiththedesiretodisplaymyselfinamorefavorablelight。Theyoungmanbesideswaspossiblyherbrother；brothersareapttobehasty，theirsbeingapartinwhichitispossible，atacomparativelyearlyage，toassumethedignityofmanhood；

anditoccurredtomeitmightbewisetoforestallallpossiblecomplicationsbyanapology。

OnthisreasoningIdrewneartothegallerydoor，andhadhardlygotinpositionbeforetheyoungmancameout。ThusitwasthatIcamefacetofacewithmythirddestiny；formycareerhasbeenentirelyshapedbythesethreeelements，——myfather，thecapitolofMuskegon，andmyfriend，JimPinkerton。

Asfortheyoungladywithwhommymindwasatthemomentchieflyoccupied，Iwasnevertohearmoreofherfromthatdayforward：anexcellentexampleoftheBlindMan’sBuffthatwecalllife。

Thestranger，Ihavesaid，wassomeyearsolderthanmyself：amanofagoodstature，averylivelyface，cordial，agitatedmanners，andagrayeyeasactiveasafowl’s。

“MayIhaveawordwithyou？”saidI。

“Mydearsir。”hereplied，“Idon’tknowwhatitcanbeabout，butyoumayhaveahundredifyoulike。”

“Youhavejustleftthesideofayounglady。”Icontinued，“towardswhomIwasled(veryunintentionally)intotheappearanceofanoffence。Tospeaktoherselfwouldbeonlytorenewherembarrassment，andIseizetheoccasionofmakingmyapology，anddeclaringmyrespect，tooneofmyownsexwhoisherfriend，andperhaps。”Iadded，withabow，“hernaturalprotector。”

“Youareacountrymanofmine；Iknowit！”hecried：“Iamsureofitbyyourdelicacytoalady。Youdohernomorethanjustice。Iwasintroducedtohertheothernightattea，intheapartmentofsomepeople，friendsofmine；andmeetingheragainthismorning，Icouldnotdolessthancarryhereaselforher。Mydearsir，whatisyourname？”

Iwasdisappointedtofindhehadsolittlebondwithmyyounglady；andbutthatitwasIwhohadsoughttheacquaintance，mighthavebeentemptedtoretreat。Atthesametime，somethinginthestranger’seyeengagedme。

“Myname。”saidI，“isLoudonDodd；IamastudentofsculptureherefromMuskegon。”

“Ofsculpture？”hecried，asthoughthatwouldhavebeenhislastconjecture。“MineisJamesPinkerton；Iamdelightedtohavethepleasureofyouracquaintance。”

“Pinkerton！”itwasnowmyturntoexclaim。“AreyouBroken-

StoolPinkerton？”

Headmittedhisidentitywithalaughofboyishdelight；andindeedanyyoungmaninthequartermighthavebeenproudtoownasobriquetthusgallantlyacquired。

Inordertoexplainthename，Imustheredigressintoachapterofthehistoryofmannersinthenineteenthcentury，verywellworthcommemorationforitsownsake。Insomeofthestudiosatthatdate，thehazingofnewpupilswasbothbarbarousandobscene。Twoincidents，followingoneontheheelsoftheothertendedtoproduceanadvanceincivilizationbythemeans(assocommonlyhappens)ofapassingappealtosavagestandards。ThefirstwasthearrivalofalittlegentlemanfromArmenia。Hehadafezuponhisheadand(whatnobodycountedon)adaggerinhispocket。Thehazingwassetaboutinthecustomarystyle，and，perhapsinvirtueofthevictim’shead-gear，evenmoreboisterouslythanusual。Heboreitatfirstwithaninvitingpatience；butupononeofthestudentsproceedingtoanunpardonablefreedom，pluckedouthisknifeandsuddenlyplungeditinthebellyofthejester。Thisgentleman，Iampleasedtosay，passedmonthsuponabedofsickness，beforehewasinapositiontoresumehisstudies。