第5章

Lookingback，amanreallyhasamoreobjectivefeelingabouthimselfasachildthanhehasabouthisfatherormother。Hefeelsasifthatchildwerenotthepresenthe，individually，butanancestor；justasmuchanancestoraseitherofhisparents。Thesayingthatthechildisthefathertothemanmaybetakeninasensealmostthereverseofthatusuallygiventoit。Thechildisfathertothemaninthesensethathisindividualityisseparatefromtheindividualityofthegrown-upintowhichheturns。Thisisperhapsonereasonwhyamancanspeakofhischildhoodandearlyyouthwithasenseofdetachment。

Havingbeenasicklyboy，withnonaturalbodilyprowess，andhavinglivedmuchathome，Iwasatfirstquiteunabletoholdmyownwhenthrownintocontactwithotherboysofrougherantecedents。Iwasnervousandtimid。YetfromreadingofthepeopleIadmired——rangingfromthesoldiersofValleyForge，andMorgan’sriflemen，totheheroesofmyfavoritestories——andfromhearingofthefeatsperformedbymySouthernforefathersandkinsfolk，andfromknowingmyfather，I

feltagreatadmirationformenwhowerefearlessandwhocouldholdtheirownintheworld，andIhadagreatdesiretobelikethem。

UntilIwasnearlyfourteenIletthisdesiretakenomoredefiniteshapethanday-dreams。Thenanincidenthappenedthatdidmerealgood。Havinganattackofasthma，IwassentoffbymyselftoMooseheadLake。Onthestage-coachridethitherIencounteredacoupleofotherboyswhowereaboutmyownage，butverymuchmorecompetentandalsomuchmoremischievous。Ihavenodoubttheyweregood-heartedboys，buttheywereboys！TheyfoundthatIwasaforeordainedandpredestinedvictim，andindustriouslyproceededtomakelifemiserableforme。TheworstfeaturewasthatwhenIfinallytriedtofightthemIdiscoveredthateitheronesinglycouldnotonlyhandlemewitheasycontempt，buthandlemesoasnottohurtmemuchandyettopreventmydoinganydamagewhateverinreturn。

Theexperiencetaughtmewhatprobablynoamountofgoodadvicecouldhavetaughtme。ImadeupmymindthatImusttrytolearnsothatI

wouldnotagainbeputinsuchahelplessposition；andhavingbecomequicklyandbitterlyconsciousthatIdidnothavethenaturalprowesstoholdmyown，IdecidedthatIwouldtrytosupplyitsplacebytraining。Accordingly，withmyfather’sheartyapproval，Istartedtolearntobox。Iwasapainfullyslowandawkwardpupil，andcertainlyworkedtwoorthreeyearsbeforeImadeanyperceptibleimprovementwhatever。Myfirstboxing-masterwasJohnLong，anex-prize-fighter。I

canseehisroomsnow，withcoloredpicturesofthefightsbetweenTomHyerandYankeeSullivan，andHeenanandSayers，andothergreateventsintheannalsofthesquaredcircle。Ononeoccasion，toexciteinterestamonghispatrons，heheldaseriesof“championship“matchesforthedifferentweights，theprizesbeing，atleastinmyownclass，pewtermugsofavalue，Ishouldsuppose，approximatingfiftycents。

NeitherhenorIhadanyideathatIcoulddoanything，butIwasenteredinthelightweightcontest，inwhichithappenedthatIwaspittedinsuccessionagainstacoupleofreedystriplingswhowereevenworsethanIwas。Equallytotheirsurpriseandtomyown，andtoJohnLong’s，Iwon，andthepewtermugbecameoneofmymostprizedpossessions。Ikeptit，andalludedtoit，andIfearbraggedaboutit，foranumberofyears，andIonlywishIknewwhereitwasnow。

YearslaterIreadanaccountofalittlemanwhoonceinafifth-ratehandicapracewonaworthlesspewtermedalandjoyediniteverafter。

Well，assoonasIreadthatstoryIfeltthatthatlittlemanandI

werebrothers。

Thiswas，asfarasIremember，theonlyoneofmyexceedinglyrareathletictriumphswhichwouldbeworthrelating。IdidagooddealofboxingandwrestlinginHarvard，butneverattainedtothefirstrankineither，evenatmyownweight。Once，inthebigcontestsintheGym，Igoteitherintothefinalsorsemi-finals，Iforgetwhich；butasidefromthisthechiefpartIplayedwastoactastrialhorseforsomefriendorclassmatewhodidhaveachanceofdistinguishinghimselfinthechampionshipcontests。

Iwasfondofhorseback-riding，butItooktoitslowlyandwithdifficulty，exactlyaswithboxing。ItwasalongtimebeforeIbecameevenarespectablerider，andInevergotmuchhigher。ImeanbythisthatIneverbecameafirst-flightmaninthehuntingfield，andneverevenapproachedthebronco-bustingclassintheWest。Anyman，ifhechooses，cangraduallyschoolhimselftotherequisitenerve，andgraduallylearntherequisiteseatandhands，thatwillenablehimtodorespectablyacrosscountry，ortoperformtheaverageworkonaranch。OfmyranchexperiencesIshallspeaklater。AtintervalsafterleavingcollegeIhuntedonLongIslandwiththeMeadowbrookhounds。

AlmosttheonlyexperienceIeverhadinthisconnectionthatwasofanyinterestwasononeoccasionwhenIbrokemyarm。Mypursedidnotpermitmetoownexpensivehorses。OnthisoccasionIwasridingananimal，abuggyhorseoriginally，whichitsownersoldbecausenowandthenitinsistedonthoughtfullylyingdownwheninharness。Itneverdidthisunderthesaddle；andwhenheturneditouttograssitwouldsolemnlyhopoverthefenceandgetsomewherewhereitdidnotbelong。

Thelasttraitwaswhatconverteditintoahunter。Itwasanaturaljumper，althoughwithoutanyspeed。OnthehuntinquestionIgotalongverywelluntilthepacewindedmyex-buggyhorse，anditturnedasomersaultoverafence。WhenIgotonitafterthefallIfoundI

couldnotusemyleftarm。Isupposeditwasmerelyastrain。ThebuggyhorsewasasedateanimalwhichIrodewithasnaffle。Sowepoundedalongatthetailofthehunt，andIdidnotappreciatethatmyarmwasbrokenforthreeorfourfences。Thenwecametoabigdrop，andthejarmadethebonesslippastoneanothersoastothrowthehandoutofposition。Itdidnothurtmeatall，andasthehorsewasaseasytositasarocking-chair，Igotinatthedeath。

IthinkAugustBelmontwasmasterofthehuntwhentheaboveincidentoccurred。IknowhewasmasteronanotheroccasiononwhichImetwithamildadventure。OnoneofthehuntswhenIwasoutamanwasthrown，draggedbyonestirrup，andkilled。InconsequenceIboughtapairofsafetystirrups，whichIusedthenexttimeIwentout。WithinfiveminutesaftertherunbeganIfoundthatthestirrupsweresovery“safe“thattheywouldnotstayinatall。Firstonewentoffatonejump，andthentheotheratanotherjump——withafallformeoneachoccasion。Ihatedtogiveupthefunsoearly，andaccordinglyfinishedtherunwithoutanystirrups。Myhorseneverwentasfastasonthatrun。Doubtlessafirst-classhorsemancanrideaswellwithoutstirrupsaswiththem。ButIwasnotafirst-classhorseman。Whenanythingunexpectedhappened，Iwasapttoclaspthesolemnbuggyhorsefirmlywithmyspurredheels，andtheresultwasthathelaidhimselfouttodohisbestinthewayofgalloping。Hespeedilyfoundthat，thankstothesnafflebit，Icouldnotpullhimin，sowhenwecametoadowngradehewouldusuallyputonsteam。Theniftherewasafenceatthebottomandhecheckedatall，Iwasapttoshootforward，andinsucheventwewentoverthefenceinawaythatremindedmeofLeech’spicture，in/Punch/，ofMr。TomNoddyandhismarejumpingafenceinthefollowingorder：Mr。TomNoddy，I；hismare，II。However，Igotinatthedeaththistimealso。

Iwasfondofwalkingandclimbing。AsaladIusedtogotothenorthwoods，inMaine，bothinfallandwinter。ThereImadelifefriendsoftwomen，WillDowandBillSewall：Icanoedwiththem，andtrampedthroughthewoodswiththem，visitingthewinterloggingcampsonsnow-shoes。AfterwardtheywerewithmeintheWest。WillDowisdead。

BillSewallwascollectorofcustomsunderme，ontheAroostookborder。ExceptwhenhuntingIneverdidanymountaineeringsaveforacoupleofconventionaltripsuptheMatterhornandtheJungfrauononeoccasionwhenIwasinSwitzerland。

Ineverdidmuchwiththeshotgun，butIpracticedagooddealwiththerifle。Ihadarifle-rangeatSagamoreHill，whereIoftentookfriendstoshoot。OnceortwicewhenIwasvisitedbypartiesofreleasedBoerprisoners，afterthecloseoftheSouthAfricanWar，theyandIheldshootingmatchestogether。ThebestmanwithbothpistolandriflewhoevershottherewasStewartEdwardWhite。Amongthemanyothergoodmenwasastanchfriend，BaronSpeckvonSternberg，afterwardsGermanAmbassadoratWashingtonduringmyPresidency。Hewasacapitalshot，rider，andwalker，adevotedandmostefficientservantofGermany，whohadfoughtwithdistinctionintheFranco-GermanWarwhenbarelymorethanaboy；hewastheheroofthestoryof“thepigdog“inArchibaldForbes’svolumeofreminiscences。Itwashewhofirsttalkedoverwithmetheraisingofaregimentofhorseriflemenfromamongtheranchmenandcowboysoftheplains。WhenAmbassador，thepoor，gallant，tender-heartedfellowwasdyingofaslowandpainfuldisease，sothathecouldnotplaywiththerestofus，buttheagonyofhismortalillnessneverintheslightestdegreeinterferedwithhiswork。AmongtheothermenwhoshotandrodeandwalkedwithmewasCecilSpring-Rice，whohasjustbeenappointedBritishAmbassadortotheUnitedStates。Hewasmygroomsman，mybestman，whenIwasmarried——atSt。George’s，HanoverSquare，whichmademefeelasifIwerelivinginoneofThackeray’snovels。

Myownexperienceasregardsmarksmanshipwasmuchthesameasmyexperienceasregardshorsemanship。Therearemenwhoseeyeandhandaresoquickandsosurethattheyachieveaperfectionofmarksmanshiptowhichnopracticewillenableordinarymentoattain。

Thereareothermenwhocannotlearntoshootwithanyaccuracyatall。Inbetweencomethemassofmenofordinaryabilitieswho，iftheychooseresolutelytopractice，canbysheerindustryandjudgmentmakethemselvesfairrifleshots。Themenwhoshowthisrequisiteindustryandjudgmentcanwithoutspecialdifficultyraisethemselvestothesecondclassofrespectablerifleshots；anditistothisclassthatIbelong。Buttohavereachedthispointofmarksmanshipwiththerifleatatargetbynomeansimpliesabilitytohitgameinthefield，especiallydangerousgame。Allkindsofotherqualities，moralandphysical，enterintobeingagoodhunter，andespeciallyagoodhunterafterdangerousgame，justasallkindsofotherqualitiesinadditiontoskillwiththerifleenterintobeingagoodsoldier。

Withdangerousgame，afterafairdegreeofefficiencywiththeriflehasbeenattained，theprimerequisitesarecooljudgmentandthatkindofnervewhichconsistsinavoidingbeingrattled。Anybeginnerisapttohave“buckfever。”andthereforenobeginnershouldgoatdangerousgame。

Buckfevermeansastateofintensenervousexcitementwhichmaybeentirelydivorcedfromtimidity。Itmayaffectamanthefirsttimehehastospeaktoalargeaudiencejustasitaffectshimthefirsttimeheseesabuckorgoesintobattle。Whatsuchamanneedsisnotcouragebutnervecontrol，cool-headedness。Thishecangetonlybyactualpractice。Hemust，bycustomandrepeatedexerciseofself-

mastery，gethisnervesthoroughlyundercontrol。Thisislargelyamatterofhabit，inthesenseofrepeatedeffortandrepeatedexerciseofwillpower。Ifthemanhastherightstuffinhim，hiswillgrowsstrongerandstrongerwitheachexerciseofit——andifhehasnottherightstuffinhimhehadbetterkeepclearofdangerousgamehunting，orindeedofanyotherformofsportorworkinwhichthereisbodilyperil。

Afterhehasachievedtheabilitytoexercisewarinessandjudgmentandthecontroloverhisnerves/whichwillmakehimshootaswellatthegameasatatarget/，hecanbeginhisessaysatdangerousgamehunting，andhewillthenfindthatitdoesnotdemandsuchabnormalprowessastheoutsiderisapttoimagine。Amanwhocanhitasoda-

waterbottleatthedistanceofafewyardscanbrainalionorabearoranelephantatthatdistance，andifhecannotbrainitwhenitchargeshecanatleastbringittoastandstill。Allhehastodoistoshootasaccuratelyashewouldatasoda-waterbottle；andtodothisrequiresnerve，atleastasmuchasitdoesphysicaladdress。

Havingreachedthispoint，thehuntermustnotimaginethatheiswarrantedintakingdesperatechances。Therearedegreesinproficiency；andwhatisawarrantableandlegitimateriskforamantotakewhenhehasreachedacertaingradeofefficiencymaybeafoolishriskforhimtotakebeforehehasreachedthatgrade。Amanwhohasreachedthedegreeofproficiencyindicatedaboveisquitewarrantedinwalkinginatalionatbay，inanopenplain，to，say，withinahundredyards。Ifthelionhasnotcharged，themanoughtatthatdistancetoknockhimoverandpreventhischarging；andifthelionisalreadycharging，themanoughtatthatdistancetobeabletostophim。Buttheamountofprowesswhichwarrantsamaninrelyingonhisabilitytoperformthisfeatdoesnotbyanymeansjustifyhiminthinkingthat，forinstance，hecancrawlafterawoundedlionintothickcover。Ihaveknownmenofindifferentprowesstoperformthislatterfeatsuccessfully，butatleastasoftentheyhavebeenunsuccessful，andinthesecasestheresulthasbeenunpleasant。Themanwhohabituallyfollowswoundedlionsintothickcovermustbeahunterofthehighestskill，orhecancountwithcertaintyonanultimatemauling。