第10章

`Letmefirstestablishmypositionasafriend，’thoughtI，——`thepatronandplayfellowofherson，thesober，solid，plain-dealingfriendofherself，andthen，whenIhavemademyselffairlynecessarytohercomfortandenjoymentinlife(asIbelieveIcan)，we’llseewhatnextmaybeeffected。’

Sowetalkedaboutpainting，poetry，andmusic，theology，geology，andphilosophy：onceortwiceIlentherabook，andonceshelentmeoneinreturn：ImetherinherwalksasoftenasIcould；IcametoherhouseasoftenasIdared。MyfirstpretextforinvadingthesanctumwastobringArthuralittlewaddlingpuppyofwhichSanchowasthefather，andwhichdelightedthechildbeyondexpression，and，consequently，couldnotfailtopleasehismamma。Mysecondwastobringhimabook，which，knowinghismother’sparticularity，Ihadcarefullyselected，andwhichIsubmittedforherapprobationbeforepresentingittohim。Then，Ibroughthersomeplantsforhergarden，inmysister’sname——havingpreviouslypersuadedRosetosendthem。EachofthesetimesIenquiredafterthepictureshewaspaintingfromthesketchtakenonthecliff，andwasadmittedintothestudio，andaskedmyopinionoradvicerespectingitsprogress。

Mylastvisithadbeentoreturnthebookshehadlentme；andthenitwas，that，incasuallydiscussingthepoetryofSirWalterScott，shehadexpressedawishtosee`Marmion，’andIhadconceivedthepresumptuousideaofmakingherapresentofit，and，onmyreturnhome，instantlysentforthesmartlittlevolume1hadthismorningreceived。Butanapologyforinvadingthehermitagewasstillnecessary；soIhadfurnishedmyselfwithabluemoroccocollarforArthur’slittledog；andthatbeinggivenandreceived，withmuchmorejoyandgratitude，onthepartofthereceiver，thantheworthofthegift，ortheselfishmotiveofthegiverdeserved，IventuredtoaskMrsGrahamforonemorelookatthepicture，ifitwasstillthere。

`Ohyes！comein，’saidshe(forIhadmettheminthegarden)。

`Itisfinishedandframed，allreadyforsendingaway；butgivemeyourlastopinion，and，ifyoucansuggestanyfurtherimprovement，itshallbe——dulyconsidered，atleast。’

Thepicturewasstrikinglybeautiful：itwastheverysceneitself，transferredasifbymagictothecanvas；butIexpressedmyapprobationinguardedterms，andfewwords，forfearofdispleasingher。She，however，attentivelywatchedmylooks，andherartist’spridewasgratified，nodoubt，toreadmyheart-feltadmirationinmyeyes。But，whileIgazed，Ithoughtuponthebook，andwonderedhowitwastobepresented。Myheartfailedme；butIdeterminednottobesuchafoolastocomeawaywithouthavingmadetheattempt。Itwasuselesswaitingforanopportunity，anduselesstryingtoconcoctaspeechfortheoccasionThemoreplainlyandnaturallythethingwasdone，thebetter，Ithought；soIjustlookedoutofthewindowtoscrewupmycourage，andthenpulledoutthebook，turnedround，andputitintoherhand，withthisshortexplanation。

`Youwerewishingtosee`Marmion’，MrsGraham；andhereitis，ifyouwillbesokindastotakeit。’

Amomentaryflushsuffusedherface——perhapsablushofsympatheticshameforsuchanawkwardstyleofpresentation：shegravelyexaminedthevolumeonbothsides；thensilentlyturnedovertheleaves，knittingherbrowsthewhileinseriouscogitation；thenclosedthebook，and，turningfromittome，quietlyaskedthepriceofit——Ifeltthehotbloodrushtomyface。

`I’msorrytooffendyou，MrMarkham，’saidshe，`butunlessI

payforthebook，Icannottakeit。’Andshelaiditonthetable。

`Whycannotyou？’

`Because——`Shepaused，andlookedatthecarpet。

`Whycannotyou？’Irepeated，withadegreeofirascibilitythatrousedhertolifthereyes，andlookmesteadilyintheface。

`BecauseIdon’tliketoputmyselfunderobligationsthatIcanneverrepay——Iamobligedtoyou，already，foryourkindnesstomyson；buthisgratefulaffection，andyourowngoodfeelings，mustrewardyouforthat。’

`Nonsense！’ejaculatedI。

Sheturnedhereyesonmeagain，withalookofquiet，gravesurprise，thathadtheeffectofarebuke，whetherintendedforsuchornot。

`Thenyouwon’ttakethebook？’Iasked，moremildlythanIhadyetspoken。

`Iwillgladlytakeit，ifyouwillletmepayforit。’

Itoldhertheexactprice，andthecostofthecarnagebesides，inascalmatoneasICouldcommand——forinfact，Iwasreadytoweepwithdisappointmentandvexation。

Sheproducedherpurse，andcoollycountedoutthemoney，buthesitatedtoputitintomyhand。Attentivelyregardingme，inatoneofsoothingsoftnesssheobserved，——

`Youthinkyourselfinsulted，MrMarkham——IwishIcouldmakeyouunderstandthat——thatI——`’

`Idounderstandyou，perfectly，’Isaid。`Youthinkthatifyouweretoacceptthattriflefrommenow，Ishouldpresumeuponithereafter；

butyouaremistaken：——ifyouwillonlyobligemebytakingit，believeme，Ishallbuildnohopesuponit，andconsiderthisnoprecedentforfuturefavours：——anditisnonsensetotalkaboutputtingyourselfunderobligationstomewhenyoumustknowthatinsuchacasetheobligationisentirelyonmyside，——thefavouronyours。

`Wellthen，I’lltakeyouatyourword，’sheanswered，withamostangelicsmile，returningtheodiousmoneytoherpurse——`butremember！’

`Iwillremember——whatIhavesaid；——butdonotyoupunishmypresumptionbywithdrawingyourfriendshipentirelyfromme，——orexpectmetoatoneforitbybeingmoredistantthanbefore，’saidI，extendingmyhandtotakeleave，forIwastoomuchexcitedtoremain。

`Wellthen！letusbeaswewere，’repliedshe，franklyplacingherhandinmine；andwhileIhelditthere，Ihadmuchdifficultytorefrainfrompressingittomylips；——butthatwouldbesuicidalmadness：Ihadbeenboldenoughalready，andthisprematureofferinghadwellnighgiventhedeath-blowtomyhopes。

Itwaswithanagitated，burningheartandbrainthatIhurriedhomewards，regardlessofthatscorchingnoondaysun——forgetfulofeverythingbutherIhadjustleft——regrettingnothingbutherimpenetrability，andmyownprecipitancyandwantoftact——fearingnothingbutherhatefulresolution，andmyinabilitytoovercomeit——hopingnothing——buthalt，——IwillnotboreyouwithmyconflIctinghopesandfears——myseriouscogitationsandresolves。

TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter9CHAPTER9ASnakeintheGrassTHOUGHmyaffectionsmightnowbesaidtobefairlyweanedfromElizaMillward，Ididnotyetentirelyrelinquishmyvisitstothevicarage，becauseI

wanted，asitwere，toletherdowneasy；withoutraisingmuchsorrow，orincurringmuchresentment，——ormakingmyselfthetalkoftheparish；

andbesides，ifIhadwhollykeptaway，thevicar，wholookeduponmyvisitsaspaidchiefly，ifnotentirelytohimself，wouldhavefelthimselfdecidedlyaffrontedbytheneglect。ButwhenIcalledtherethedayaftermyinterviewwithMrsGraham，hehappenedtobefromhome——acircumstancebynomeanssoagreeabletomenowasithadbeenonformeroccasions。MissMillwardwasthere，itistrue，butshe，ofcourse，wouldbelittlebetterthananonentity。However，Iresolvedtomakemyvisitashortone，andtotalktoElizainabrotherly，friendlysortofway，suchasourlongacquaintancemightwarrantmeinassuming，andwhich，Ithought，couldneithergiveoffencenorservetoencouragefalsehopes。

ItwasnevermycustomtotalkaboutMrsGrahameithertoheroranyoneelse；butIhadnotbeenseatedthreeminutes，beforeshebroughtthatladyontothecarpetherself，inaratherremarkablemanner。

`Oh，MrMarkham！’saidshe，withashockedexpressionandvoicesubduedalmosttoawhisper——`whatdoyouthinkoftheseshockingreportsaboutMrsGraham？——canyouencourageustodisbelievethem？’

`Whatreports？’

`Ah，now！youknow！’sheslylysmiledandshookherhead。

`Iknownothingaboutthem——Whatintheworlddoyoumean，Eliza？’

`Oh，don’taskme！——Ican’texplainit。’Shetookupthecambrichandkerchiefwhichshehadbeenbeautifyingwithadeeplaceborder，andbegantobeverybusy。

`Whatisit，MissMillward？whatdoesshemean？’saidI，appealingtohersister，whoseemedtobeabsorbedinthehemmingofalarge，coarsesheet。

`Idon’tknow，’repliedshe。’——`Someidleslandersomebodyhasbeeninventing，Isuppose。IneverheardittillElizatoldme，theotherday，——butifalltheparishdinneditinmyears，Ishouldn’tbelieveawordofit——IknowMrsGrahamtoowell！’

`Quiteright，MissMillward！——andsodoI——whateveritmaybe。’

`Well！’observedEliza，withagentlesigh——`It’swelltohavesuchacomfortableassuranceregardingtheworthofthosewelove——Ionlywishyoumaynotfindyourconfidencemisplaced。’

Andsheraisedherface，andgavemesuchalookofsorrowfultendernessasmighthavemeltedmyheart，butwithinthoseeyestherelurkedasomethingthatIdidnotlike；andIwonderedhowIevercouldhaveadmiredthem：hersister’shonestfaceandsmallgreyopticsappearedfarmoreagreeable；——butIwasoutoftemperwithEliza，atthatmoment，forherinsinuationsagainstMrsGraham——whichwerefalse，Iwascertain，whethersheknewitornot。

Isaidnothingmoreonthesubject，however，atthetime，andbutlittleonanyother；for，findingIcouldnotwellrecovermyequanimity，Ipresentlyroseandtookleave，excusingmy-selfunderthepleaofbusinessatthefarm；——andtothefarmIwent——nottroublingmymindonewhitaboutthepossibletruthofthesemysteriousreports，butonlywonderingwhattheywere，bywhomoriginated，andonwhatfoundationsraised，——andhowtheycouldthemosteffectuallybesilencedordisproved。

Afewdaysafterthis，wehadanotherofourquietlittleparties，towhichtheusualcompanyoffriendsandneighbourshadbeeninvited，andMrsGrahamamongthenumber。Shecouldnotnowabsentherselfunderthepleaofdarkeveningsorinclementweather，and，greatlytomyrelief，shecame。WithoutherIshouldhavefoundthewholeaffairanintolerablebore；butthemomentofherarrivalbroughtnewlifetothehouse；andthoughImustnotneglecttheotherguestsforher，orexpecttoengrossmuchofherattentionandconversationtomyselfalone，Ianticipatedaneveningofnocommonenjoyment。

MrLawrencecametoo。Hedidnotarrivetillsometimeaftertherestwereassembled。IwascurioustoseehowhewouldcomporthimselftoMrsGraham。Aslightbowwasallthatpassedbetweenthemonhisentrance；

andhavingpolitelygreetedtheothermembersofthecompany，heseatedhimselfquitealooffromtheyoungwidow，betweenmymotherandRose。

`Didyoueverseesuchart！’whisperedEliza，whowasmynear-

estneighbour。`Wouldyounotsaytheywereperfectstrangers？’

`Almost；——butwhatthen？’

`Whatthen！——whyyoucan’tpretendtobeignorant？’

`Ignorantofwhat？’demandedI，sosharplythatshestartedandreplied——

`Oh，hush！don’tspeaksoloud。’

`Well，tellmethen，’Ianswered，inalowertone；`whatisityoumean？Ihateenigmas。’

`Well，youknow，Idon’tvouchforthetruthofit——indeed，farfromit——buthaven’tyouheard——`

`I’veheardnothing，exceptfromyou。’

`Youmustbewilfullydeafthen；foranyonewilltellyouthat——butIshallonlyangeryoubyrepeatingit，Isee；soIhadbetterholdmytongue。’

Sheclosedherlipsandfoldedherhandsbeforeherwithanairofinjuredmeekness。

`Ifyouhadwishednottoangerme，youshouldhaveheldyourtonguefromthebeginning；orelsespokenoutplainlyandhonestlyallyouhadtosay。’

Sheturnedasideherface，pulledoutherhandkerchief，rose，andwenttothewindow，whereshestoodforsometime，evidentlydissolvedintears。Iwasastounded，provoked，ashamed——notsomuchofmyharshnessasforherchildishweakness。However，nooneseemedtonoticeher，andshortlyafter，weweresummonedtothetea-table；inthosepartsitwascustomarytosittothetableattea-time，onalloccasions，andmakeamealofit；forwedinedearly。Ontakingmyseat，IhadRoseononesideofme，andanemptychairontheother。

`MayIsitbyyou？’saidasoftvoiceatmyelbow。

`Ifyoulike，’wasthereply；andElizaslippedintothevacantchair；thenlookingupinmyfacewithahalfsad，halfplayfulsmile，shewhispered——

`You’resostern，Gilbert。’

Ihandeddownherteawithaslightlycontemptuoussmile，andsaidnothing，forIhadnothingtosay。