第12章

Andtheydidlookbeautiful，whereatintervalsthelevelraysofthesun，penetratingthethicknessoftreesandshrubsontheoppositesideofthepathbeforeus，relievedtheirduskyverdurebydisplayingpatchesofsemitransparentleavesofresplendentgoldengreen。

`IalmostwishIwerenotapainter，’observedmycompanion。

`Whyso？onewouldthinkatsuchatimeyouwouldmostexultinyourprivilegeofbeingabletoimitatethevariousbrilliantanddelightfultouchesofnature。’

`No；forinsteadofdeliveringmyselfuptothefullenjoymentoftheasothersdo，IamalwaystroublingmyheadabouthowIcouldproducethesameeffectuponcanvas；andasthatcanneverbedone，itismerevanityandvexationofspirit。’

`Perhapsyoucannotdoittosatisfyyourself，butyoumayanddosucceedindelightingotherswiththeresultofyourendeavours。’

`Well，afterallIshouldnotcomplain：perhapsfewpeoplegaintheirlivelihoodwithsomuchpleasureintheirtoilasIdo。Hereissomeonecoming。’

Sheseemedvexedattheinterruption。

`ItisonlyMrLawrenceandMissWilson，’saidI，`comingtoenjoyaquietstroll。Theywillnotdisturbus。’

Icouldnotquitedeciphertheexpressionofherface；butIwassatisfiedtherewasnojealousytherein。WhatbusinesshadItolookforit？

`WhatsortofapersonisMissWilson？’sheasked。

`Sheiselegantandaccomplishedabovethegeneralityofherbirthandstation；andsomesaysheisladylikeandagreeable。’

`Ithoughthersomewhatfrigid，andrathersuperciliousinhermannertoday。’

`Verylikelyshemightbesotoyou。Shehaspossiblytakenaprejudiceagainstyou，forIthinksheregardsyouinthelightofarival。’

`Me？Impossible，MrMarkham！’saidshe，evidentlyastonishedandannoyed。

`Well，Iknownothingaboutit，’returnedI，ratherdoggedly；

forIthoughtherannoyancewaschieflyagainstmyself。

Thepairhadnowapproachedwithinafewpacesofus。Ourarbourwassetsnuglybackinacorner，beforewhichtheavenue，atitstermination，turnedoffintothemoreairywalkalongthebottomofthegarden。Astheyapproachedthis，Isaw，bytheaspectofJaneWilson，thatshewasdirectinghercompanion’sattentiontous；and，aswellbyhercold，sarcasticsmile，asbythefewisolatedwordsofherdiscoursethatreachedme，Iknewfullwellthatshewasimpressinghimwiththeideathatwewerestronglyattachedtoeachother。Inoticedthathecoloureduptothetemples，gaveusonefurtiveglanceinpassing，andwalkedon，lookinggrave，butseeminglyofferingnoreplytoherremarks。

Itwastrue，then，thathehadsomedesignsuponMrsGraham；and，weretheyhonourable，hewouldnotbesoanxioustoconcealthem。Shewasblameless，ofcourse，buthewasdetestablebeyondallcount。

Whilethesethoughtsflashedthroughmymind，mycompanionabruptlyrose，andcallingherson，saidtheywouldnowgoinquestofthecompany，anddeparteduptheavenue。DoubtlessshehadheardorguessedsomethingofMissWilson’sremarks，andtherefore，itwasnaturalenoughsheshouldchoosetocontinuethetê；te-a-tê；tenolonger，especiallyasatthatmomentmycheekswereburningwithindignationagainstmyformerfriend，thetokenofwhichshemightmistakeforablushofstupidembarrassment。

ForthisIowedMissWilsonyetanothergrudge；andstillthemoreIthoughtuponherconduct，themoreIhatedher。

ItwaslateintheeveningbeforeIjoinedthecompany。IfoundMrsGrahamalreadyequippedfordeparture，andtakingleaveoftherest，whowerenowreturnedtothehouse。Ioffered——nay，beggedtoaccompanyherhome。MrLawrencewasstandingbyatthetime，conversingwithsomeoneelse。Hedidnotlookatus，but，onhearingmyearnestrequest，hepausedinthemiddleofasentencetolistenforherreply，andwenton，withalookofquietsatisfaction，themomenthefounditwastobeadenial。

Adenialitwas，decided，thoughnotunkind。Shecouldnotbepersuadedtothinktherewasdangerforherselforherchildintraversingthoselonelylanesandfieldswithoutattendance。Itwasdaylightstill，andsheshouldmeetnoone；orifshedid，thepeoplewerequietandharmlessshewaswellassured。Infact，shewouldnothearofanyone’sputtinghimselfoutofthewaytoaccompanyher，thoughFergusvouchsafedtoofferhisservices，incasetheyshouldbemoreacceptablethanmine，andmymotherbeggedshemightsendoneofthefarming-mentoescorther。

Whenshewasgone，therestwasallablank，orworse。Lawrenceattemptedtodrawmeintoconversation，butIsnubbedhim，andwenttoanotherpartoftheroom。Shortlyafter，theparrybrokeup，andhehimselftookleave。Whenhecametome，Iwasblindtohisextendedhand，anddeaftohisgoodnighttillherepeateditasecondtime；andthen，togetridofhim，Imutteredaninarticulatereplyaccompaniedbyasulkynod。

`Whatisthematter，Markham？’whisperedhe。

Irepliedbyawrathfulandcontemptuousstare。

`AreyouangrybecauseMrsGrahamwouldnotletyougohomewithher？’heasked，withafaintsmilethatnearlyexasperatedmebeyondcontrol。

But，swallowingdownallfierceranswers，Imerelydemanded，——`Whatbusinessisitofyours？’

`Why，none，’repliedhe，withprovokingquietness；`only，’andhereheraisedhiseyestomyface，andspokewithunusualsolemnity，`onlyletmetellyou，Markham，thatifyouhaveanydesignsinthatquartertheywillcertainlyfail；anditgrievesmetoseeyoucherishingfalsehopes，andwastingyourstrengthinuselessefforts，for——`

`Hypocrite！’Iexclaimed，andheheldhisbreath，andlookedveryblank，turnedwhiteaboutthegills，andwentawaywithoutanotherword。

Ihadwoundedhimtothequick；andIwasgladofit。

TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter10CHAPTER10AContractandaQuarrelWHENallweregone，Ilearnedthatthevileslanderhadindeedbeencirculatedthroughoutthecompany，Intheverypresenceofthevictim。Rose，however，vowedshedidnotandwouldnotbelieveit，andmymothermadethesamedeclaration，thoughnot，Ifear，withthesameamountofreal，unwaveringincredulity。Itseemedtodwellcontinuallyonhermind，andshekeptirritatingmefromtimetotimebysuchexpressionsas——`Dear，dear，whowouldhavethoughtit！——Well！Ialwaysthoughttherewassomethingoddabouther——Youseewhatitisforwomentoaffecttobedifferenttootherpeople。’Andonceitwas，——

`Imisdoubtedthatappearanceofmysteryfromtheveryfirst——Ithoughttherewouldnogoodcomeofit；butthisisasad，sad，businesstobesure！’

`Whymother，yousaidyoudidn’tbelievethesetales，’saidFergus。

`NomoreIdo，mydear；butthen，youknow，theremustbesomefoundation。’

`Thefoundationisinthewickednessandfalsehoodoftheworld，’

saidI，`andinthefactthatMrLawrencehasbeenseentogothatwayonceortwiceofanevening——andthevillagegossipssayhegoestopayhisaddressestothestrangelady，andthescandalmongershavegreedilyseizedtherumour，tomakeitthebasisoftheirowninfernalstructure。’

`Well，butGilbert，theremustbesomethinginhermannertocountenancesuchreports。’

`Didyouseeanythinginhermanner？’

`No，certainly；butthen，youknow，Ialwayssaidtherewassomethingstrangeabouther。’

IbelieveitwasonthatveryeveningthatIventuredonanotherinvasionofWildfellHall。Fromthetimeofourparty，whichwasupwardsofaweekago，Ihadbeenmakingdailyeffortstomeetitsmistressinherwalks；and，alwaysdisappointed(shemusthavemanageditsoonpurpose)，hadnightlykeptrevolvinginmymindsomepretextforanotherAtlength，Iconcludedthattheseparationcouldbeendurednolonger(bythistime，youwillseeIwasprettyfargone)；and，takingfromthebookcaseanoldvolumethatIthoughtshemightbeinterestedin，though，fromitsunsightlyandsomewhatdilapidatedcondition，Ihadnotyetventuredtoofferitforherperusal，Ihastenedaway，——butnotwithoutsundrymisgivingsastohowshewouldreceiveme，orhowIcouldsummoncouragetopresentmyselfwithsoslightanexcuse。ButperhapsImightseeherinthefieldorthegarden，andthentherewouldbenogreatdifficulty：itwastheformalknockingatthedoor，withtheprospectofbeinggravelyusheredin，byRachel，tothepresenceofasurprised，uncordialmistress，thatsogreatlydisturbedme。

Mywish，however，wasnotgratified。MrsGrahamherselfwasnottobeseen；buttherewasArthurplayingwithhisfrolicsomelittledoginthegardenIlookedoverthegateandcalledhimtome。Hewantedmetocomein；butItoldhimIcouldnotwithouthismother’sleave。

`I’llgoandaskher，’saidthechild。

`No，no，Arthur，youmustn’tdothat，——butifshe’snotengaged，justaskhertocomehereaminute：tellherIwanttospeaktoher。’

Herantoperformmybidding，andquicklyreturnedwithhismother。

Howlovelyshelookedwithherdarkringletsstreaminginthelightsummerbreeze，herfaircheekslightlyflushed，andhercountenanceradiantwithsmiles！——Arthur！whatdidInotowetoyouforthisandeveryotherhappymeeting？——Throughhim，Iwasatoncedeliveredfromallformality，andterror，andconstraint。Inloveaffairs，thereisnomediatorlikeamerry，simpleheartedchild——everreadytocementdividedhearts，tospantheunfriendlygulfofcustom，tomelttheiceofcoldreserve，andoverthrowtheseparatingwallsofdreadformalityandpride。

`Well，MrMarkham，whatisit？’saidtheyoungmother，accostingmewithapleasantsmile。

`Iwantyoutolookatthisbook，and，ifyouplease，totakeit，andperuseitatyourleisure。Imakenoapologyforcallingyououtonsuchalovelyevening，thoughitbeforamatterofnogreaterimportance。’

`Tellhimtocomein，mamma，’saidArthur。

`Wouldyouliketocomein？’askedthelady。

`Yes；Ishouldliketoseeyourimprovementsinthegarden。’

`Andhowyoursister’srootshaveprosperedinmycharge，’addedshe，assheopenedthegate。

Andwesaunteredthroughthegarden，andtalkedoftheflowers，thetrees，andthebook，——andthenofotherthings。Theeveningwaskindandgenial，andsowasmycompanion。Bydegrees，Iwaxedmorewarmandtenderthan，perhaps，Ihadeverbeenbefore；butstillIsaidnothingtangible，andsheattemptednorepulse；until，inpassingamossrose-treethatIhadbroughthersomeweekssince，inmysister’sname，shepluckedabeautifulhalf-openbudandbademegiveittoRose。

`MayInotkeepitmyself？’Iasked。

`No；buthereisanotherforyou’

Insteadoftakingitquietly，Ilikewisetookthehandthatofferedit，andlookedintoherface。Sheletmeholditforamoment，andIsawaBashofecstaticbrillianceinhereye，aglowofgladexcitementonherface——Ithoughtmyhourofvictorywascome——butinstantly，apainfulrecollectionseemedtoflashuponher；acloudofanguishdarkenedherbrow，amarblepalenessblanchedhercheekandlip；thereseemedamomentofinwardconflict，——andwithasuddeneffort，shewithdrewherhand，andretreatedasteportwoback。

`NowMrMarkham，’saidshe，withakindofdesperatecalmness，Imusttellyouplainly，thatIcannotdowiththis。Ilikeyourcompany，becauseIamalonehere，andyourconversationpleasesmemorethanthatofanyotherperson；butifyoucannotbecontenttoregardmeasafriend——aplain，cold，motherly，orsisterlyfriend，Imustbegyoutoleavemenow，andletmealonehereafter——infact，wemustbestrangersforthefuture。’

`Iwill，then——beyourfriend，——orbrother，oranythingyouwish，ifyouwillonlyletmeContinuetoseeyou；buttellmewhyIcannotbeanythingmore？’

Therewasaperplexedandthoughtfulpause。

`Isitinconsequenceofsomerashvow？’

`Itissomethingofthekind，’sheanswered——`somedayImaytellyou，but，atpresentyouhadbetterleaveme；andnever，Gilbert，putmetothepainfulnecessityofrepeatingwhatIhavejustnowsaidtoyou！’——sheearnestlyadded，givingmeherhandinseriouskindness。Howsweet，howmusicalmyownnamesoundedinhermouth！

`Iwillnot，’Ireplied。`Butyoupardonthisoffence？’

`Onconditionthatyouneverrepeatit。’

`AndmayIcometoseeyounowandthen？’

`Perhaps，——occasionally；providedyouneverabusetheprivilege。’

`Imakenoemptypromises，butyoushallsee。’

`Themomentyoudo，ourintimacyisatanend，that’sall。’

`AndwillyoualwayscallmeGilbert？——itsoundsmoresisterly，anditwillservetoremindmeofourcontract。’