第3章

Bladesoveris，Iamconvinced，thecluetoalmostallthatisdistinctivelyBritishandperplexingtotheforeigninquirerinEnglandandtheEnglish-speakingpeoples。GraspfirmlythatEnglandwasallBladesovertwohundredyearsago；thatithashadReformActsindeed，andsuch——likechangesofformula，butnoessentialrevolutionsincethen；thatallthatismodernanddifferenthascomeinasathingintrudedorasaglossuponthispredominantformula，eitherimpertinentlyorapologetically；

andyouwillperceiveatoncethereasonableness，thenecessity，ofthatsnobbishnesswhichisthedistinctivequalityofEnglishthought。EverybodywhoisnotactuallyintheshadowofaBladesoverisasitwereperpetuallyseekingafterlostorientations。Wehaveneverbrokenwithourtradition，neverevensymbolicallyhewedittopieces，astheFrenchdidinquiveringfactintheTerror。Butalltheorganizingideashaveslackened，theoldhabitualbondshaverelaxedoraltogethercomeundone。AndAmericatoo，is，asitwere，adetached，outlyingpartofthatestatewhichhasexpandedinqueerways。

GeorgeWashington，Esquire，wasofthegentlefolk，andhecamenearbeingaKing。ItwasPlutarch，youknow，andnothingintrinsicallyAmericanthatpreventedGeorgeWashingtonbeingaKing。

IV

Ihatedteatimeinthehousekeeper’sroommorethananythingelseatBladesover。AndmoreparticularlyIhateditwhenMrs。

MackridgeandMrs。BoochandMrs。Latude-Fernaywerestayinginthehouse。Theywere，allthreeofthem，pensioned-offservants。

OldfriendsofLadyDrew’shadrewardedthemposthumouslyforaprolongeddevotiontotheirminorcomforts，andMrs。BoochwasalsotrusteeforafavouriteSkyeterrier。EveryyearLadyDrewgavethemaninvitation——arewardandencouragementofvirtuewithespecialreferencetomymotherandMissFison，themaid。

Theysataboutinblackandshinyandflounceyclothingadornedwithgimpandbeads，eatinggreatquantitiesofcake，drinkingmuchteainastatelymannerandreverberatingremarks。

Irememberthesewomenasimmense。Nodoubttheywereofnegotiablesize，butIwasonlyaverylittlechapandtheyhaveassumednightmareproportionsinmymind。Theyloomed，theybulged，theyimpended。Mrs。Mackridgewaslargeanddark；therewasamarvelaboutherhead，inasmuchasshewasbald。Sheworeadignifiedcap，andinfrontofthatuponherbrow，hairwasPAINTED。Ihaveneverseenthelikesince。ShehadbeenmaidtothewidowofSirRoderickBlenderhassetImpey，somesortofgovernororsuch-likeportentintheEastIndies，andfromherremains——inMrs。Mackridge——IjudgeLadyImpeywasaverystupendousandcrushingcreatureindeed。LadyImpeyhadbeenoftheJunotype，haughty，unapproachable，giventoironyandacausticwit。Mrs。Mackridgehadnowit，butshehadacquiredthecausticvoiceandgesturesalongwiththeoldsatinsandtrimmingsofthegreatlady。Whenshetoldyouitwasafinemorning，sheseemedalsotobetellingyouyouwereafoolandalowfooltoboot；whenshewasspokento，shehadawayofacknowledgingyourpoortinkleofutterancewithavoluminous，scornful“Haw！”thatmadeyouwanttoburnheralive。Shealsohadawayofsaying“Indade！”withadroopoftheeyelids。

Mrs。Boochwasasmallerwoman，brownhaired，withqueerlittlecurlsoneithersideofherface，largeblueeyesandasmallsetofstereotypedremarksthatconstitutedherentirementalrange。

Mrs。Latude-Fernayhasleft，oddlyenough，nomemoryatallexcepthernameandtheeffectofagreen-greysilkdress，allsetwithgoldandbluebuttons。Ifancyshewasalargeblonde。

ThentherewasMissFison，themaidwhoservedbothLadyDrewandMissSomerville，andattheendofthetableoppositemymother，satRabbitsthebutler。Rabbits，forabutler，wasanunassumingman，andatteahewasnotasyouknowbutlers，butinamorningcoatandablacktiewithbluespots。Still，hewaslarge，withsidewhiskers，evenifhisclean-shavenmouthwasweakandlittle。Isatamongthesepeopleonahigh，hard，earlyGregorianchair，tryingtoexist，likeafeebleseedlingamidstgreatrocks，andmymothersatwithaneyeuponme，resolutetosuppresstheslightestmanifestationofvitality。Itwashardonme，butperhapsitwasalsohardupontheseratherover-fed，ageing，pretendingpeople，thatmyyouthfulrestlessnessandrebelliousunbelievingeyesshouldbethrustinamongtheirdignities。

Tealastedfornearlythree-quartersofanhour，andIsatitoutperforce；anddayafterdaythetalkwasexactlythesame。

“Sugar，Mrs。Mackridge？”mymotherusedtoask。

“Sugar，Mrs。Latude-Fernay？”

ThewordsugarwouldstirthemindofMrs。Mackridge。“Theysay。”shewouldbegin，issuingherproclamation——atleasthalfhersentencesbegan“theysay“——“sugarisfatt-an-ing，nowadays。

Manyofthebestpeopledonottakeitatall。”

“Notwiththeirtea，ma’am。”saidRabbitsintelligently。

“Notwithanything。”saidMrs。Mackridge，withanairofcrushingrepartee，anddrank。

“Whatwon’ttheysaynext？”saidMissFison。

“Theydosaysuchthings！”saidMrs。Booch。

“Theysay。”saidMrs。Mackridge，inflexibly，“thedoctorsarenotrecomm-an-dingitnow。”

MyMother：“No，ma’am？”

Mrs。Mackridge：“No，ma’am。”

Then，tothetableatlarge：“PoorSirRoderick，beforehedied，consumedgreatquan-ta-tiesofsugar。Ihavesometimesfancieditmayhavehastenedhisend。”

Thisendedthefirstskirmish。AcertaingloomofmannerandapausewasconsideredduetothesacredmemoryofSirRoderick。

“George。”saidmymother，“don’tkickthechair！”

Then，perhaps，Mrs。Boochwouldproduceafavouritepiecefromherrepertoire。“Theeveningsaredrawingoutnicely。”shewouldsay，oriftheseasonwasdecadent，“Howtheeveningsdrawin！”

Itwasaninvaluableremarktoher；Idonotknowhowshewouldhavegotalongwithoutit。

Mymother，whosatwithherbacktothewindow，wouldalwaysconsideritduetoMrs。Boochtoturnaboutandregardtheeveningintheactofelongationorcontraction，whicheverphaseitmightbe。

Abriskdiscussionofhowlongweweretothelongestorshortestdaywouldensue，anddieawayatlastexhausted。

Mrs。Mackridge，perhaps，wouldreopen。Shehadmanyintelligenthabits；amongothersshereadthepaper——TheMorningPost。Theotherladieswouldattimestacklethatsheet，butonlytoreadthebirths，marriages，anddeathsonthefrontpage。Itwas，ofcourse，theoldMorningPostthatcostthreepence，notthebriskcoruscatingyoungthingofto-day。“Theysay。”shewouldopen，“thatLordTweedumsistogotoCanada。”

“Ah！”saidMr。Rabbits；“dewthey？”

“Isn’the。”saidmymother，“theEarlofSlumgold’scousin？”Sheknewhewas；itwasanentirelyirrelevantandunnecessaryremark，butstill，somethingtosay。

“Thesame，ma’am。”saidMrs。Mackridge。“TheysayhewasextremelaypopularinNewSouthWales。Theylookeduptohimgreatlay。Iknewhim，ma’am，asayoungman。Averynicepleasantyoungfella。”

Interludeofrespect。

“’Ispredecessor。”saidRabbits，whohadacquiredfromsomeclericalmodelapreciseemphaticarticulationwithoutacquiringatthesametimetheaspiratesthatwouldhavegracedit，“gotintotroubleatSydney。”

“Haw！”saidMrs。Mackridge，scornfully，“soamtawled。”

“’EcametoTemplemortonafter’ecameback，andIrememberthemtalking’imoverafter’e’dgoneagain。”

“Haw？”saidMrs。Mackridge，interrogatively。

“’Isfusswasquotin’poetry，ma’am。’Esaid——whatwasit’esaid——’Theylef’theircountryfortheircountry’sgood，’——whichinsomewaywastooktoremindthemoftheirbeingoriginallyconvic’s，thoughnowreformed。EveryoneI’eardspeak，agreeditwastaklessof’im。”

“SirRoderickusedtosay。”saidMrs。Mackridge，“thattheFirstThing。”——hereMrs。Mackridgepausedandlookeddreadfullyatme——“andtheSecondThing“——hereshefixedmeagain——“andtheThirdThing“——nowIwasreleased——“neededinacolonialgovernorisTact。”Shebecameawareofmydoubtsagain，andaddedpredominantly，“IthasalwaysstruckmethatthatwasaSingularlyTrueRemark。”

IresolvedthatifeverIfoundthispolypusofTactgrowingupinmysoul，Iwouldtearitoutbytheroots，throwitforthandstamponit。

“They’requeerpeople——colonials。”saidRabbits，“veryqueer。

WhenIwasatTemplemortonIseesomethingof’em。Queerfellows，someof’em。Veryrespectfulofcourse，freewiththeirmoneyinaspasammysortofway，but——Someof’em，Imustconfess，makemenervous。Theyhaveaneyeonyou。Theywatchyou——asyouwait。Theyletthemselvesappeartobelookin’atyou。”

Mymothersaidnothinginthatdiscussion。Thewordcoloniesalwaysupsether。Shewasafraid，Ithink，thatifsheturnedhermindinthatdirectionmyerrantfathermightsuddenlyandshockinglybediscovered，nodoubtconspicuouslybigamicandaltogetheroffensiveandrevolutionary。Shedidnotwanttorediscovermyfatheratall。

ItiscuriousthatwhenIwasalittlelisteningboyIhadsuchanideaofourcoloniesthatIjeeredinmyheartatMrs。

Mackridge’scolonialascendancy。ThesebraveemancipatedsunburntEnglishoftheopen，Ithought，sufferthesearistocraticinvadersasaquaintanachronism，butasforbeinggratified——！

Idon’tjeernow。I’mnotsosure。