第13章
Beyondallquestionthepipewasbewitched。Theremusthavebeen
aspelleitherinthetobaccoorinthefiercely-glowingcoalthat
somysteriouslyburnedontopofit，orinthepungently-aromatic
smokewhichexhaledfromthekindledweed。Thefigure，afterafew
doubtfulattempts，atlengthblewforthavolleyofsmokeextending
allthewayfromtheobscurecornerintothebarofsunshine。Thereit
eddiedandmeltedawayamongthemotesofdust。Itseemedaconvulsive
effort；forthetwoorthreenextwhiffswerefainter，althoughthe
coalstillglowedandthrewagleamoverthescarecrow’svisage。The
oldwitchclappedherskinnyhandstogether，andsmiled
encouraginglyuponherhandiwork。Shesawthatthecharmworked
well。Theshrivelled，yellowface，whichheretoforehadbeennoface
atall，hadalreadyathin，fantastichaze，asitwereofhuman
likeness，shiftingtoandfroacrossit：sometimesvanishingentirely，
butgrowingmoreperceptiblethaneverwiththenextwhifffromthe
pipe。Thewholefigure，inlikemanner，assumedashowoflife，such
asweimparttoill-definedshapesamongtheclouds，andhalf
deceiveourselveswiththepastimeofourownfancy。
Ifwemustneedsprycloselyintothematter，itmaybedoubted
whethertherewasanyrealchange，afterall，inthesordid，
wornout，worthless，andill-jointedsubstanceofthescarecrow；but
merelyaspectralillusion，andacunningeffectoflightandshadeso
coloredandcontrivedastodeludetheeyesofmostmen。The
miraclesofwitchcraftseemalwaystohavehadaveryshallow
subtlety；and，atleast，iftheaboveexplanationdonothitthetruth
oftheprocess，Icansuggestnobetter。
“Wellpuffed，myprettylad！”stillcriedoldMotherRigby。
“Come，anothergoodstoutwhiff，andletitbewithmightandmain。
Puffforthylife，Itellthee！Puffoutoftheverybottomofthy
heart，ifanyheartthouhast，oranybottomtoit！Welldone，
again！Thoudidstsuckinthatmouthfulasifforthepureloveof
it。”
Andthenthewitchbeckonedtothescarecrow，throwingsomuch
magneticpotencyintohergesturethatitseemedasifitmust
inevitablybeobeyed，likethemysticcalloftheloadstonewhenit
summonstheiron。
“Whylurkestthouinthecorner，lazyone？”saidshe。“Step
forth！Thouhasttheworldbeforethee！”
Uponmyword，ifthelegendwerenotonewhichIheardonmy
grandmother’sknee，andwhichhadestablisheditsplaceamongthings
crediblebeforemychildishjudgmentcouldanalyzeitsprobability，
IquestionwhetherIshouldhavethefacetotellitnow。
InobediencetoMotherRigby’sword，andextendingitsarmasifto
reachheroutstretchedhand，thefiguremadeastepforward-akindof
hitchandjerk，however，ratherthanastep-thentotteredand
almostlostitsbalance。Whatcouldthewitchexpect？Itwas
nothing，afterall，butascarecrowstuckupontwosticks。Butthe
strong-willedoldbeldamscowled，andbeckoned，andflungtheenergy
ofherpurposesoforciblyatthispoorcombinationofrottenwood，
andmustystraw，andraggedgarments，thatitwascompelledtoshow
itselfaman，inspiteoftherealityofthings。Soitsteppedinto
thebarofsunshine。Thereitstood-poordevilofacontrivance
thatitwas！-withonlythethinnestvestureofhumansimilitudeabout
it，throughwhichwasevidentthestiff，rickety，incongruous，
faded，tattered，good-for-nothingpatchworkofitssubstance，readyto
sinkinaheapuponthefloor，asconsciousofitsownunworthinessto
beerect。ShallIconfessthetruth？Atitspresentpointof
vivification，thescarecrowremindsmeofsomeofthelukewarmand
abortivecharacters，composedofheterogeneousmaterials，usedforthe
thousandthtime，andneverworthusing，withwhichromancewriters
(andmyself，nodoubt，amongtherest)havesoover-peopledthe
worldoffiction。
Butthefierceoldhagbegantogetangryandshowaglimpseofher
diabolicnature(likeasnake’shead，peepingwithahissoutofher
bosom)，atthispusillanimousbehaviorofthethingwhichshehad
takenthetroubletoputtogether。
“Puffaway，wretch！”criedshe，wrathfully。“Puff，puff，puff，thou
thingofstrawandemptiness！thouragortwo！thoumealbag！thou
pumpkinhead！thounothing！WhereshallIfindanamevileenoughto
calltheeby？Puff，Isay，andsuckinthyfantasticlifealongwith
thesmoke！elseIsnatchthepipefromthymouthandhurltheewhere
thatredcoalcamefrom。”
Thusthreatened，theunhappyscarecrowhadnothingforitbutto
puffawayfordearlife。Asneedwas，therefore，itapplieditself
lustilytothepipe，andsentforthsuchabundantvolleysoftobacco
smokethatthesmallcottagekitchenbecameallvaporous。Theone
sunbeamstruggledmistilythrough，andcouldbutimperfectlydefine
theimageofthecrackedanddustywindowpaneontheoppositewall。
MotherRigby，meanwhile，withonebrownarmakimboandtheother
stretchedtowardsthefigure，loomedgrimlyamidtheobscuritywith
suchportandexpressionaswhenshewaswonttoheaveaponderous
nightmareonhervictimsandstandatthebedsidetoenjoytheir
agony。Infearandtremblingdidthispoorscarecrowpuff。Butits
efforts，itmustbeacknowledged，servedanexcellentpurpose；for，
witheachsuccessivewhiff，thefigurelostmoreandmoreofitsdizzy
andperplexingtenuityandseemedtotakedensersubstance。Itsvery
garments，moreover，partookofthemagicalchange，andshonewith
theglossofnoveltyandglistenedwiththeskilfullyembroideredgold
thathadlongagobeenrentaway。And，halfrevealedamongthe
smoke，ayellowvisagebentitslustrelesseyesonMotherRigby。
Atlasttheoldwitchclinchedherfistandshookitatthefigure。
Notthatshewaspositivelyangry，butmerelyactingontheprinciple-
perhapsuntrue，ornottheonlytruth，thoughashighaoneas
MotherRigbycouldbeexpectedtoattain-thatfeebleandtorpid
natures，beingincapableofbetterinspiration，mustbestirredup
byfear。Butherewasthecrisis。Shouldshefailinwhatshenow
soughttoeffect，itwasherruthlesspurposetoscatterthemiserable
simulacreintoitsoriginalelements。
“Thouhastaman’saspect。”saidshe，sternly。“Havealsothe
echoandmockeryofavoice！Ibidtheespeak！”
Thescarecrowgasped，struggled，andatlengthemittedamurmur，
whichwassoincorporatedwithitssmokybreaththatyoucould
scarcelytellwhetheritwereindeedavoiceoronlyawhiffof
tobacco。SomenarratorsofthislegendholdtheopinionthatMother
Rigby’sconjurationsandthefiercenessofherwillhadcompelleda
familiarspiritintothefigure，andthatthevoicewashis。
“Mother。”mumbledthepoorstifledvoice，“benotsoawfulwithme！
Iwouldfainspeak；butbeingwithoutwits，whatcanIsay？”
“Thoucanstspeak，darling，canstthou？”criedMotherRigby，
relaxinghergrimcountenanceintoasmile。“Andwhatshaltthou
say，quotha！Say，indeed！Artthouofthebrotherhoodoftheempty
skull，anddemandestofmewhatthoushaltsay？Thoushaltsaya
thousandthings，andsayingthemathousandtimesover，thoushalt
stillhavesaidnothing！Benotafraid，Itellthee！Whenthou
comestintotheworld(whitherIpurposesendingtheeforthwith)
thoushaltnotlackthewherewithaltotalk。Talk！Why，thoushalt
babblelikeamill-stream，ifthouwilt。Thouhastbrainsenoughfor
that，Itrow！”
“Atyourservice，mother。”respondedthefigure。
“Andthatwaswellsaid，myprettyone。”answeredMotherRigby。
“Thenthouspeakestlikethyself，andmeantnothing。Thoushalthavea
hundredsuchsetphrases，andfivehundredtothebootofthem。And
now，darling，Ihavetakensomuchpainswiththeeandthouartso
beautiful，that，bymytroth，Ilovetheebetterthananywitch’s
puppetintheworld；andI’vemadethemofallsorts-clay，wax，
sticks，nightfog，morningmist，seafoam，andchimneysmoke。Butthou
arttheverybest。SogiveheedtowhatIsay。”
“Yes，kindmother。”saidthefigure，“withallmyheart！”
“Withallthyheart！”criedtheoldwitch，settingherhandstoher
sidesandlaughingloudly。“Thouhastsuchaprettywayofspeaking。
Withallthyheart！Andthoudidstputthyhandtotheleftsideof
thywaistcoatasifthoureallyhadstone！”
Sonow，inhighgoodhumorwiththisfantasticcontrivanceofhers，
MotherRigbytoldthescarecrowthatitmustgoandplayitspartin
thegreatworld，wherenotonemaninahundred，sheaffirmed，was
giftedwithmorerealsubstancethanitself。And，thathemighthold
uphisheadwiththebestofthem，sheendowedhim，onthespot，
withanunreckonableamountofwealth。Itconsistedpartlyofagold
mineinEldorado，andoftenthousandsharesinabrokenbubble，and
ofhalfamillionacresofvineyardattheNorthPole，andofacastle
intheair，andachateauinSpain，togetherwithalltherentsand
incometherefromaccruing。Shefurthermadeovertohimthecargoofa
certainship，ladenwithsaltofCadiz，whichsheherself，byher
necromanticarts，hadcausedtofounder，tenyearsbefore，inthe
deepestpartofmid-ocean。Ifthesaltwerenotdissolved，andcould
bebroughttomarket，itwouldfetchaprettypennyamongthe
fishermen。Thathemightnotlackreadymoney，shegavehimacopper
farthingofBirminghammanufacture，beingallthecoinshehadabout
her，andlikewiseagreatdealofbrass，whichsheappliedtohis
forehead，thusmakingityellowerthanever。
“Withthatbrassalone。”quothMotherRigby，“thoucanstpaythy
wayallovertheearth。Kissme，prettydarling！Ihavedonemybest
forthee。”
Furthermore，thattheadventurermightlacknopossibleadvantage
towardsafairstartinlife，thisexcellentolddamegavehimatoken
bywhichhewastointroducehimselftoacertainmagistrate，member
ofthecouncil，merchant，andelderofthechurch(thefourcapacities
constitutingbutoneman)，whostoodattheheadofsocietyinthe
neighboringmetropolis。Thetokenwasneithermorenorlessthana
singleword，whichMotherRigbywhisperedtothescarecrow，and
whichthescarecrowwastowhispertothemerchant。
“Goutyastheoldfellowis，he’llrunthyerrandsforthee，when
oncethouhastgivenhimthatwordinhisear。”saidtheoldwitch。
“MotherRigbyknowstheworshipfulJusticeGookin，andthe
worshipfulJusticeknowsMotherRigby！”
Herethewitchthrustherwrinkledfaceclosetothepuppet’s，
chucklingirrepressibly，andfidgetingallthroughhersystemwith
delightattheideawhichshemeanttocommunicate。
“TheworshipfulMasterGookin。”whisperedshe，“hathacomely
maidentohisdaughter。Andharkye，mypet！Thouhastafairoutside，
andaprettywitenoughofthineown。Yea，aprettywitenough！Thou
wiltthinkbetterofitwhenthouhastseenmoreofotherpeople’s
wits。Now，withthyoutsideandthyinside，thouarttheverymanto
winayounggirl’sheart。Neverdoubtit！Itelltheeitshallbe
so。Putbutaboldfaceonthematter，sigh，smile，flourishthy
hat，thrustforththyleglikeadancing-master，putthyrighthandto
theleftsideofthywaistcoat，andprettyPollyGookinisthineown！”
Allthiswhilethenewcreaturehadbeensuckinginandexhaling
thevaporyfragranceofhispipe，andseemednowtocontinuethis
occupationasmuchfortheenjoymentitaffordedasbecauseitwas
anessentialconditionofhisexistence。Itwaswonderfultoseehow
exceedinglylikeahumanbeingitbehaved。Itseyes(foritappeared
topossessapair)werebentonMotherRigby，andatsuitable
juncturesitnoddedorshookitshead。Neitherdiditlackwords
properfortheoccasion：“Really！Indeed！Praytellme！Isit
possible！Uponmyword！Bynomeans！Oh！Ah！Hem！”andothersuch
weightyutterancesasimplyattention，inquiry，acquiescence，or
dissentonthepartoftheauditor。Evenhadyoustoodbyandseenthe
scarecrowmade，youcouldscarcelyhaveresistedtheconvictionthat
itperfectlyunderstoodthecunningcounselswhichtheoldwitch
pouredintoitscounterfeitofanear。Themoreearnestlyitapplied
itslipstothepipe，themoredistinctlywasitshumanlikeness
stampedamongvisiblerealities，themoresagaciousgrewits
expression，themorelifelikeitsgesturesandmovements，andthemore
intelligiblyaudibleitsvoice。Itsgarments，too，glistenedsomuch
thebrighterwithanillusorymagnificence。Theverypipe，inwhich
burnedthespellofallthiswonderwork，ceasedtoappearasa
smoke-blackenedearthenstump，andbecameameerschaum，withpainted
bowlandambermouthpiece。
Itmightbeapprehended，however，thatasthelifeofthe
illusionseemedidenticalwiththevaporofthepipe，itwould
terminatesimultaneouslywiththereductionofthetobaccotoashes。
Butthebeldamforesawthedifficulty。
“Holdthouthepipe，mypreciousone。”saidshe，“whileIfillit
fortheeagain。”