第5章

Withmuchgoodlygibberishtothesameeffect，whichdisplayofGregory’sreadywitnotonlythrewthewholecompanyintoconvulsionsoflaughter，butmadesuchanimpressiononRose，thePotter’sdaughter，thatitwasthoughtitwouldbetheJester’sownfaultifJackwaslongwithouthisJill。Muchpithymatter，concerningthebringingthebridetobed，theloosingthebridegroom’spoints，thescramblewhichensuedforthem，andthecastingofthestocking，isalsoomittedfromitsobscurity。

Thefollowingsong，whichhasbeensinceborrowedbytheworshipfulauthorofthefamousHistoryofFryarBacon，’’hasbeenwithdifficultydeciphered。Itseemstohavebeensungonoccasionofcarryinghomethebride。

BRIDALSONG。

_Tothetuneof-IhavebeenaFiddler，’’etc。_

AnddidyounothearofamirthbefellThemorrowafteraweddingday，Andcarryingabrideathometodwell？

AndawaytoTewin，away，away！

Thequintainwasset，andthegarlandsweremade；-

’Tispityoldcustomsshouldeverdecay；

Andwobetohimthatwashorsedonajade，Forhecarriednocreditaway，away。

Wemetaconcertoffiddle-de-dees；

Wesetthemacockhorse，andmadethemplayThewinningofBullen，andUpsey-frees，AndawaytoTewin，away，away！

Therewasne’eraladinalltheparishThatwouldgototheploughthatday；

Butonhisfore-horsehiswenchhecarries，AndawaytoTewin，away，away！

Thebutlerwasquick，andthealehedidtap：

Themaidensdidmakethechamberfullgay；

Theservantsdidgivemeafuddlingcup，AndIdidcarry’taway，away！

Thesmithofthetownhisliquorsotook，Thathewaspersuadedthatthegroundlookedblue；

AndIdareboldlybeswornonabook，Suchsmithsashethere’sbutafew。

Apossetwasmade，andthewomendidsip，Andsimperingsaid，theycouldeatnomore；

Fullmanyamaidenwaslaidonthelip，-

I’llsaynomore，butgiveo’er(giveo’er)。

Butwhatourfairreaderswillchieflyregret，isthelossofthreedeclarationsoflove：thefirstbySt。CleretoMatilda；which，withthelady’sanswer，occupiesfifteenclosely-writtenpagesofmanuscript。ThatofFitzosbornetoEmmaisnotmuchshorter；buttheamoursofFitzallenandEleanor，beingofalessromanticcast，areclosedinthreepagesonly。

ThethreenoblecouplesweremarriedinQueenhoo-Halluponthesameday，beingthetwentiethSundayafterEaster。Thereisaprolixaccountofthemarriage-feast，ofwhichwecanpickoutthenamesofafewdishes，suchaspeterel，crane，sturgeon，swan，etc。etc。，withaprofusionofwild-fowlandvenison。WealsoseethatasuitablesongwasproducedbyPerettoontheoccasion；andthatthebishopwhoblessedthebridalbedswhichreceivedthehappycouples，wasnoniggardofhisholywater，bestowinghalf-a-gallonuponeachofthecouches。Weregretwecannotgivethesecuriositiestothereaderindetail，butwehopetoexposethemanuscripttoablerantiquaries，sosoonasitshallbeframedandglazedbytheingeniousartistwhorenderedthatservicetoMr。Ireland’sShakspeareMSS。Andso(beingunabletolayasidethestyletowhichourpenishabituated)，gentlereader，webidtheeheartilyfarewell。]

ItiswellknownintheSouththatthereislittleornoboxingattheScottishschools。Aboutfortyorfiftyyearsago，however，afarmoredangerousmodeoffighting，inpartiesorfactions，waspermittedinthestreetsofEdinburgh，tothegreatdisgraceofthepolice，anddangerofthepartiesconcerned。Thesepartiesweregenerallyformedfromthequartersofthetowninwhichthecombatantsresided，thoseofaparticularsquareordistrictfightingagainstthoseofanadjoiningone。Henceithappenedthatthechildrenofthehigherclasseswereoftenpittedagainstthoseofthelower，eachtakingtheirsideaccordingtotheresidenceoftheirfriends。

SofarasIrecollect，however，itwasunmingledeitherwithfeelingsofdemocracyoraristocracy，orindeedwithmaliceorill-willofanykindtowardstheoppositeparty。Infact，itwasonlyaroughmodeofplay。

Suchcontestswere，however，maintainedwithgreatvigour，withstones，andsticks，andfisticuffs，whenonepartydaredtocharge，andtheotherstoodtheirground。Ofcourse，mischiefsometimeshappened：boysaresaidtohavebeenkilledatthese_Bickers，_astheywerecalled，andseriousaccidentscertainlytookplace，asmanycontemporariescanbearwitness。

TheAuthor’sfatherresidinginGeorgeSquare，inthesouthernsideofEdinburgh，theboysbelongingtothatfamily，withothersinthesquare，werearrangedintoasortofcompany，towhichaladyofdistinctionpresentedahandsomesetofcolours。Nowthiscompanyorregiment，asamatterofcourse，wasengagedinweeklywarfarewiththeboysinhabitingtheCrosscauseway，BristoStreet，thePotterrow-inshort，theneighbouringsuburbs。Theselastwerechieflyofthelowerrank，buthardyloons，whothrewstonestoahair’s-breadth，andwereveryruggedantagonistsatclosequarters。Theskirmishsometimeslastedforawholeevening，untilonepartyortheotherwasvictorious，when，ifoursweresuccessful，wedrovetheenemytotheirquarters，andwereusuallychasedbackbythereinforcementofbiggerladswhocametotheirassistance。If，onthecontrary，wewerepursued，aswasoftenthecase，intotheprecinctsofoursquare，wewereinourturnsupportedbyourelderbrothers，domesticservants，andsimilarauxiliaries。

Itfollowed，fromourfrequentoppositiontoeachother，that，thoughnotknowingthenamesofourenemies，wewereyetwellacquaintedwiththeirappearance，andhadnick-namesforthemostremarkableofthem。

Oneveryactiveandspiritedboymightbeconsideredastheprincipalleaderinthecohortofthesuburbs。Hewas，Isuppose，thirteenorfourteenyearsold，finely-made，tall，blue-eyed，withlongfairhair，theverypictureofayouthfulGoth。Thisladwasalwaysfirstinthecharge，andlastintheretreat-theAchilles，atonce，andAjax，oftheCrosscauseway。Hewastooformidabletousnottohaveacognomen，and，likethatofaknightofold，itwastakenfromthemostremarkablepartofhisdress，beingapairofoldgreenliverybreeches，whichwastheprincipalpartofhisclothing；

for，likePentapolin，accordingtoDonQuixote’saccount，Green-Breeks，aswecalledhim，alwaysenteredthebattlewithbarearms，legs，andfeet。

Itfell，thatonceuponatime，whenthecombatwasatthethickest，thisplebeianchampionheadedasuddencharge，sorapidandfuriousthatallfledbeforehim。Hewasseveralpacesbeforehiscomrades，andhadactuallylaidhishandsonthepatricianstandard，whenoneofourparty，whomsomemisjudgingfriendhadentrustedwitha_couteaudechasse，_orhanger，inspiredwithazealforthehonourofthecorps，worthyofMajorSturgeonhimself，struckpoorGreen-Breeksoverthehead，withstrengthsufficienttocuthimdown。Whenthiswasseen，thecasualtywassofarbeyondwhathadevertakenplacebefore，thatbothpartiesfleddifferentways，leavingpoorGreen-Breeks，withhisbrighthairplentifullydabbledinblood，tothecareofthewatchman，who(honestman)tookcarenottoknowwhohaddonethemischief。ThebloodyhangerwasflungintooneoftheMeadowditches，andsolemnsecrecywasswornonallhands；buttheremorseandterroroftheactorwerebeyondallbounds，andhisapprehensionsofthemostdreadfulcharacter。ThewoundedherowasforafewdaysintheInfirmary，thecasebeingonlyatriflingone。Butthoughinquirywasstronglypressedonhim，noargumentcouldmakehimindicatethepersonfromwhomhehadreceivedthewound，thoughhemusthavebeenperfectlywellknowntohim。Whenherecovered，andwasdismissed，theAuthorandhisbrothersopenedacommunicationwithhim，throughthemediumofapopularginger-breadbaker，ofwhombothpartieswerecustomers，inordertotenderasubsidyinnameofsmart-money。

ThesumwouldexciteridiculewereItonameit；butsureIam，thatthepocketsofthenotedGreen-Breeksneverheldasmuchmoneyofhisown。Hedeclinedtheremittance，sayingthathewouldnotsellhisblood；butatthesametimereprobatedtheideaofbeinganinformer，whichhesaidwas_clam，_i。e。baseormean。Withmuchurgencyheacceptedapoundofsnufffortheuseofsomeoldwoman-aunt，grandmother，orthelike-withwhomhelived。Wedidnotbecomefriends，forthe_bickers_

weremoreagreeabletobothpartiesthananymorepacificamusement；

butweconductedthemeverafterundermutualassurancesofthehighestconsiderationofeachother。

SuchwastheherowhomMr。ThomasScottproposedtocarrytoCanada，andinvolveinadventureswiththenativesandcolonistsofthatcountry。

Perhapstheyouthfulgenerosityoftheladwillnotseemsogreatintheeyesofothersastothosewhomitwasthemeansofscreeningfromsevererebukeandpunishment。Butitseemed，tothoseconcerned，toargueanoblenessofsentimentfarbeyondthepitchofmostminds；andhoweverobscurelytheladwhoshowedsuchaframeofnoblespiritmayhavelivedordied，Icannothelpbeingofopinion，thatiffortunehadplacedhimincircumstancescallingforgallantryorgenerosity，themanwouldhavefulfilledthepromisesoftheboy。Longafterwards，whenthestorywastoldtomyfather，hecensuredusseverelyfornottellingthetruthatthetime，thathemighthaveattemptedtobeofusetotheyoungmaninenteringonlife。Butouralarmsfortheconsequencesofthedrawnsword，andthewoundinflictedwithsuchaweapon，werefartoopredominantatthetimeforsuchapitchofgenerosity。

PerhapsIoughtnottohaveinsertedthisschool-boytale；butbesidesthestrongimpressionmadebytheincidentatthetime，thewholeaccompanimentsofthestoryarematterstomeofsolemnandsadrecollection。

Ofallthelittlebandwhowereconcernedinthosejuvenilesportsorbrawls，Icanscarcerecollectasinglesurvivor。Somelefttheranksofmimicwartodieintheactiveserviceoftheircountry。Manysoughtdistantlandstoreturnnomore。Others，dispersedindifferentpathsoflife，mydimeyesnowseekforinvain。’’Offivebrothers，allhealthyandpromising，inadegreefarbeyondonewhoseinfancywasvisitedbypersonalinfirmity，andwhosehealthafterthisperiodseemedlongveryprecarious，Iam，nevertheless，theonlysurvivor。Thebestloved，andthebestdeservingtobeloved，whohaddestinedthisincidenttobethefoundationofliterarycomposition，diedbeforehisday’’inadistantandforeignland；andtriflesassumeanimportancenottheirownwhenconnectedwiththosewhohavebeenlovedandlost。