第3章

Whenmygrandfatherheardthishewept，andbemoanedhimselfthathisfollyinforcingoneintotheChurchwhohadnolikingforthatpath，hadbroughtabouttheshamefulendofhisonlyson。

AfterthatdatealsohebrokehisfriendshipwiththepriorofSt。Mary’satBungay，andceasedhisofferingstothepriory。

Stillhedidnotbelievethatmyfatherwasdeadintruth，sinceonthelastdayofhisownlife，thatendedtwoyearslater，hespokeofhimasalivingman，andleftmessagestohimastothemanagementofthelandswhichnowwerehis。

Andintheenditbecameclearthatthisbeliefwasnotill-

founded，foronedaythreeyearsaftertheoldman’sdeath，therelandedattheportofYarmouthnoneotherthanmyfather，whohadbeenabsentsomeeightyearsinall。

Nordidhecomealone，forwithhimhebroughtawife，ayoungandverylovelylady，whoafterwardswasmymother。

ShewasaSpaniardofnoblefamily，havingbeenbornatSeville，andhermaidennamewasDonnaLuisadeGarcia。

NowofallthatbefellmyfatherduringhiseightyearsofwanderingIcannotspeakcertainly，forhewasverysilentonthematter，thoughImayhaveneedtotouchonsomeofhisadventures。

ButIknowitistruethathefellunderthepoweroftheHolyOffice，foroncewhenasalittleladIbathedwithhimintheElbowPool，wheretheriverWaveneybendssomethreehundredyardsabovethishouse，Isawthathisbreastandarmswerescoredwithlongwhitescars，andaskedhimwhathadcausedthem。

IrememberwellhowhisfacechangedasIspoke，fromkindlinesstothehueofblackesthate，andhowheansweredspeakingtohimselfratherthantome。

’Devils，’hesaid，’devilssetontheirworkbythechiefofalldevilsthatliveupontheearthandshallreigninhell。

Harkyou，mysonThomas，thereisacountrycalledSpainwhereyourmotherwasborn，andtherethesedevilsabidewhotorturemenandwomen，aye，andburnthemlivinginthenameofChrist。

IwasbetrayedintotheirhandsbyhimwhomInamethechiefofthedevils，thoughheisyoungerthanIambythreeyears，andtheirpincersandhotironsleftthesemarksuponme。

Aye，andtheywouldhaveburntmealivealso，onlyIescaped，thankstoyourmother——butsuchtalesarenotforalittlelad’shearing；andseeyouneverspeakofthem，Thomas，fortheHolyOfficehasalongarm。

YouarehalfaSpaniard，Thomas，yourskinandeyestelltheirowntale，butwhateverskinandeyesmaytell，letyourheartgivethemthelie。

KeepyourheartEnglish，Thomas；letnoforeigndevilmentsenterthere。

HateallSpaniardsexceptyourmother，andbewatchfullestherbloodshouldmasterminewithinyou。’

Iwasachildthen，andscarcelyunderstoodhiswordsorwhathemeantbythem。

AfterwardsIlearnedtounderstandthembuttoowell。

Asformyfather’scounsel，thatIshouldconquermySpanishblood，wouldthatIcouldalwayshavefollowedit，forIknowthatfromthisbloodspringsthemostofsuchevilasisinme。

Hencecomemyfixednessofpurposeorratherobstinacy，andmypowersofunchristianhatredthatarenotsmalltowardsthosewhohavewrongedme。

Well，IhavedonewhatImighttoovercometheseandotherfaults，butstriveaswemay，thatwhichisbredinthebonewilloutintheflesh，asIhaveseeninmanysignalinstances。

Therewerethreeofuschildren，Geoffreymyelderbrother，myself，andmysisterMary，whowasoneyearmyjunior，thesweetestchildandthemostbeautifulthatIhaveeverknown。

Wewereveryhappychildren，andourbeautywastheprideofourfatherandmother，andtheenvyofotherparents。

Iwasthedarkestofthethree，darkindeedtoswarthiness，butinMarytheSpanishbloodshowedonlyinherricheyesofvelvethue，andintheglowuponhercheekthatwasliketheblushonaripefruit。

MymotherusedtocallmeherlittleSpaniard，becauseofmyswarthiness，thatiswhenmyfatherwasnotnear，forsuchnamesangeredhim。

SheneverlearnedtospeakEnglishverywell，buthewouldsufferhertotalkinnoothertonguebeforehim。

Still，whenhewasnotthereshespokeinSpanish，ofwhichlanguage，however，Ialoneofthefamilybecameamaster——andthatmorebecauseofcertainvolumesofoldSpanishromanceswhichshehadbyher，thanforanyotherreason。

FrommyearliestchildhoodIwasfondofsuchtales，anditwasbybribingmewiththepromisethatIshouldreadthemthatshepersuadedmetolearnSpanish。

Formymother’sheartstillyearnedtowardsheroldsunnyhome，andoftenshewouldtalkofitwithuschildren，moreespeciallyinthewinterseason，whichshehatedasIdo。

OnceIaskedherifshewishedtogobacktoSpain。

Sheshiveredandansweredno，fortheredweltonewhowasherenemyandwouldkillher；alsoherheartwaswithuschildrenandourfather。

I

wonderedifthismanwhosoughttokillmymotherwasthesameasheofwhommyfatherhadspokenas’thechiefofthedevils，’butI

onlyansweredthatnomancouldwishtokillonesogoodandbeautiful。

Ah！myboy，’shesaid，’itisjustbecauseIam，orratherhavebeen，beautifulthathehatesme。

Otherswouldhaveweddedmebesidesyourdearfather，Thomas。’

Andherfacegrewtroubledasthoughwithfear。

NowwhenIwaseighteenandahalfyearsold，onacertaineveninginthemonthofMayithappenedthatafriendofmyfather’s，SquireBozard，lateoftheHallinthisparish，calledattheLodgeonhisroadfromYarmouth，andinthecourseofhistalkletitfallthataSpanishshipwasatanchorintheRoads，ladenwithmerchandise。

Myfatherprickeduphisearsatthis，andaskedwhohercaptainmightbe。

SquireBozardansweredthathedidnotknowhisname，butthathehadseenhiminthemarket-place，atallandstatelyman，richlydressed，withahandsomefaceandascaruponhistemple。

Atthisnewsmymotherturnedpalebeneathheroliveskin，andmutteredinSpanish:

’HolyMother！grantthatitbenothe。’

Myfatheralsolookedfrightened，andquestionedthesquirecloselyastotheman’sappearance，butwithoutlearninganythingmore。

Thenhebadehimadieuwithlittleceremony，andtakinghorserodeawayforYarmouth。

Thatnightmymotherneverslept，butsatallthroughitinhernursingchair，broodingoverIknownotwhat。

AsIleftherwhenI

wenttomybed，soIfoundherwhenIcamefromitatdawn。

IcanrememberwellpushingthedoorajartoseeherfaceglimmeringwhiteinthetwilightoftheMaymorning，asshesat，herlargeeyesfixeduponthelattice。

’Youhaverisenearly，mother，’Isaid。

’Ihaveneverlaindown，Thomas，’sheanswered。

’Whynot？

Whatdoyoufear？’

’Ifearthepastandthefuture，myson。

Wouldthatyourfatherwereback。’

Aboutteno’clockofthatmorning，asIwasmakingreadytowalkintoBungaytothehouseofthatphysicianunderwhomIwaslearningtheartofhealing，myfatherrodeup。

Mymother，whowaswatchingatthelattice，ranouttomeethim。

Springingfromhishorseheembracedher，saying，’Beofgoodcheer，sweet，itcannotbehe。

Thismanhasanothername。’

’Butdidyouseehim？’sheasked。

’No，hewasoutathisshipforthenight，andIhurriedhometotellyou，knowingyourfears。’

’Itweresurerifyouhadseenhim，husband。

Hemaywellhavetakenanothername。’

’Ineverthoughtofthat，sweet，’myfatheranswered；’buthavenofear。

Shoulditbehe，andshouldhedaretosetfootintheparishofDitchingham，therearethosewhowillknowhowtodealwithhim。

ButIamsurethatitisnothe。’

’ThanksbetoJesuthen！’shesaid，andtheybegantalkinginalowvoice。

Now，seeingthatIwasnotwanted，Itookmycudgelandstarteddownthebridle-pathtowardsthecommonfootbridge，whensuddenlymymothercalledmeback。

’Kissmebeforeyougo，Thomas，’shesaid。

’Youmustwonderwhatallthismaymean。

Onedayyourfatherwilltellyou。

Ithastodowithashadowwhichhashungovermylifeformanyyears，butthatis，Itrust，goneforever。’

’Ifitbeamanwhoflingsit，hehadbestkeepoutofreachofthis，’Isaid，laughing，andshakingmythickstick。

’Itisaman，’sheanswered，’butonetobedealtwithotherwisethanbyblows，Thomas，shouldyoueverchancetomeethim。’

’Maybe，mother，butmightisthebestargumentatthelast，forthemostcunninghavealifetolose。’

’Youaretooreadytouseyourstrength，son，’shesaid，smilingandkissingme。

’RemembertheoldSpanishproverb:“Hestrikeshardestwhostrikeslast。“’

’Andremembertheotherproverb，mother:“Strikebeforethouartstricken，“’Ianswered，andwent。

WhenIhadgonesometenpacessomethingpromptedmetolookback，Iknownotwhat。

Mymotherwasstandingbytheopendoor，herstatelyshapeframedasitwereintheflowersofawhitecreepingshrubthatgrewuponthewalloftheoldhouse。

Aswashercustom，sheworeamantillaofwhitelaceuponherhead，theendsofwhichwerewoundbeneathherchin，andthearrangementofitwassuchthatatthisdistanceforonemomentitputmeinmindofthewrappingswhichareplacedaboutthedead。

Istartedatthethoughtandlookedatherface。

Shewaswatchingmewithsadandearnesteyesthatseemedtobefilledwiththespiritoffarewell。

Ineversawheragaintillshewasdead。

AndnowImustgobackandspeakofmyownmatters。

AsIhavetold，itwasmyfather’swishthatIshouldbeaphysician，andsinceIcamebackfrommyschoolingatNorwich，thatwaswhenIhadenteredonmysixteenthyear，IhadstudiedmedicineunderthedoctorwhopractisedhisartintheneighbourhoodofBungay。

Hewasaverylearnedmanandanhonest，Grimstonebyname，andasI

hadsomelikingforthebusinessImadegoodprogressunderhim。

IndeedIhadlearnedalmostallthathecouldteachme，andmyfatherpurposedtosendmetoLondon，theretopushonmystudies，sosoonasIshouldattainmytwentiethyear，thatiswithinsomefivemonthsofthedateofthecomingoftheSpaniard。

ButitwasnotfatedthatIshouldgotoLondon。

MedicinewasnottheonlythingthatIstudiedinthosedays，however。

SquireBozardofDitchingham，thesamewhotoldmyfatherofthecomingoftheSpanishship，hadtwolivingchildren，asonandadaughter，thoughhiswifehadbornehimmanymorewhodiedininfancy。

ThedaughterwasnamedLilyandofmyownage，havingbeenbornthreeweeksaftermeinthesameyear。

NowtheBozardsaregonefromtheseparts，formygreat-niece，thegranddaughterandsoleheiressofthisson，hasmarriedandhasissueofanothername。

Butthisisbytheway。

Fromourearliestdayswechildren，BozardsandWingfields，livedalmostasbrothersandsisters，fordaybydaywemetandplayedtogetherinthesnoworintheflowers。

ThusitwouldbehardformetosaywhenIbegantoloveLilyorwhenshebegantoloveme；

butIknowthatwhenfirstIwenttoschoolatNorwichIgrievedmoreatlosingsightofherthanbecauseImustpartfrommymotherandtherest。

Inallourgamesshewasevermypartner，andI

wouldsearchthecountryroundfordaystofindsuchflowersasshechancedtolove。

WhenIcamebackfromschoolitwasthesame，thoughbydegreesLilygrewshyer，andIalsogrewsuddenlyshy，perceivingthatfromachildshehadbecomeawoman。

Stillwemetoften，andthoughneithersaidanythingofit，itwassweettoustomeet。