第7章

Inanallegoricalway，whichdidaswellasanyotherway，weandtheSpiritofLibertygotintoakingdomofNeedlesandPins，andfoundthematwarwithapotentatewhocalledintohisaidtheiroldarchenemyRust，andwhowouldhavegotthebetterofthemiftheSpiritofLibertyhadnotinthenickoftimetransformedtheleadersintoClown，Pantaloon，Harlequin，Columbine，Harlequina，andawholefamilyofSprites，consistingofaremarkablystoutfatherandthreespinelesssons。WeallknewwhatwascomingwhentheSpiritofLibertyaddressedthekingwithabigface，andHisMajestybackedtotheside-scenesandbeganuntyinghimselfbehind，withhisbigfaceallononeside。Ourexcitementatthatcrisiswasgreat，andourdelightunbounded。Afterthiserainourexistence，wewentthroughalltheincidentsofapantomime；itwasnotbyanymeansasavagepantomime，inthewayofburningorboilingpeople，orthrowingthemoutofwindow，orcuttingthemup；

wasoftenverydroll；wasalwaysliberallygotup，andcleverlypresented。Inoticedthatthepeoplewhokepttheshops，andwhorepresentedthepassengersinthethoroughfares，andsoforth，hadnoconventionalityinthem，butwereunusuallyliketherealthing-fromwhichIinferthatyoumaytakethataudiencein(ifyouwishto)concerningKnightsandLadies，Fairies，Angels，orsuchlike，buttheyarenottobedoneastoanythinginthestreets。I

noticed，also，thatwhentwoyoungmen，dressedinexactimitationoftheeel-and-sausage-cravatedportionoftheaudience，werechasedbypolicemen，and，findingthemselvesindangerofbeingcaught，droppedsosuddenlyastoobligethepolicementotumbleoverthem，therewasgreatrejoicingamongthecaps-asthoughitwereadelicatereferencetosomethingtheyhadheardofbefore。

ThePantomimewassucceededbyaMelo-Drama。ThroughouttheeveningIwaspleasedtoobserveVirtuequiteastriumphantassheusuallyisoutofdoors，andindeedIthoughtrathermoreso。Weallagreed(forthetime)thathonestywasthebestpolicy，andwewereashardasironuponVice，andwewouldn’thearofVillainygettingonintheworld-no，notonanyconsiderationwhatever。

Betweenthepieces，wealmostallofuswentoutandrefreshed。

Manyofuswentthelengthofdrinkingbeeratthebaroftheneighbouringpublic-house，someofusdrankspirits，crowdsofushadsandwichesandginger-beerattherefreshment-barsestablishedforusintheTheatre。Thesandwich-assubstantialaswasconsistentwithportability，andascheapaspossible-wehailedasoneofourgreatestinstitutions。Itforceditswayamongusatallstagesoftheentertainment，andwewerealwaysdelightedtoseeit；itsadaptabilitytothevaryingmoodsofournaturewassurprising；wecouldneverweepsocomfortablyaswhenourtearsfellonoursandwich；wecouldneverlaughsoheartilyaswhenwechokedwithsandwich；VirtueneverlookedsobeautifulorVicesodeformedaswhenwepaused，sandwichinhand，toconsiderwhatwouldcomeofthatresolutionofWickednessinboots，toseverInnocenceinfloweredchintzfromHonestIndustryinstripedstockings。Whenthecurtainfellforthenight，westillfellbackuponsandwich，tohelpusthroughtherainandmire，andhometobed。

This，asIhavementioned，wasSaturdaynight。BeingSaturdaynight，Ihadaccomplishedbutthehalfofmyuncommercialjourney；

for，itsobjectwastocomparetheplayonSaturdayeveningwiththepreachinginthesameTheatreonSundayevening。

Therefore，atthesamehourofhalf-pastsixonthesimilarlydampandmuddySundayevening，IreturnedtothisTheatre。Idroveuptotheentrance(fearfulofbeinglate，orIshouldhavecomeonfoot)，andfoundmyselfinalargecrowdofpeoplewho，Iamhappytostate，wereputintoexcellentspiritsbymyarrival。Havingnothingtolookatbutthemudandthecloseddoors，theylookedatme，andhighlyenjoyedthecomicspectacle。Mymodestyinducingmetodrawoff，somehundredsofyards，intoadarkcorner，theyatonceforgotme，andappliedthemselvestotheirformeroccupationoflookingatthemudandlookinginatthecloseddoors:which，beingofgratedironwork，allowedthelightedpassagewithintobeseen。Theywerechieflypeopleofrespectableappearance，oddandimpulsiveasmostcrowdsare，andmakingajokeofbeingthereasmostcrowdsdo。

InthedarkcornerImighthavesatalongwhile，butthataveryobligingpasser-byinformedmethattheTheatrewasalreadyfull，andthatthepeoplewhomIsawinthestreetwereallshutoutforwantofroom。Afterthat，Ilostnotimeinwormingmyselfintothebuilding，andcreepingtoaplaceinaProsceniumboxthathadbeenkeptforme。

Theremusthavebeenfullfourthousandpeoplepresent。Carefullyestimatingthepitalone，Icouldbringitoutasholdinglittlelessthanfourteenhundred。Everypartofthehousewaswellfilled，andIhadnotfounditeasytomakemywayalongthebackoftheboxestowhereIsat。Thechandeliersintheceilingwerelighted；therewasnolightonthestage；theorchestrawasempty。

Thegreencurtainwasdown，and，packedprettycloselyonchairsonthesmallspaceofstagebeforeit，weresomethirtygentlemen，andtwoorthreeladies。Inthecentreofthese，inadeskorpulpitcoveredwithredbaize，wasthepresidingminister。Thekindofrostrumheoccupiedwillbeverywellunderstood，ifIlikenittoaboarded-upfireplaceturnedtowardstheaudience，withagentlemaninablacksurtoutstandinginthestoveandleaningforwardoverthemantelpiece。

AportionofScripturewasbeingreadwhenIwentin。Itwasfollowedbyadiscourse，towhichthecongregationlistenedwithmostexemplaryattentionanduninterruptedsilenceanddecorum。Myownattentioncomprehendedboththeauditoryandthespeaker，andshallturntobothinthisrecallingofthescene，exactlyasitdidatthetime。

’Averydifficultthing，’Ithought，whenthediscoursebegan，’tospeakappropriatelytosolargeanaudience，andtospeakwithtact。Withoutit，betternottospeakatall。Infinitelybetter，toreadtheNewTestamentwell，andtoletTHATspeak。Inthiscongregationthereisindubitablyonepulse；butIdoubtifanypowershortofgeniuscantouchitasone，andmakeitanswerasone。’

Icouldnotpossiblysaytomyselfasthediscourseproceeded，thattheministerwasagoodspeaker。Icouldnotpossiblysaytomyselfthatheexpressedanunderstandingofthegeneralmindandcharacterofhisaudience。Therewasasupposititiousworking-manintroducedintothehomily，tomakesupposititiousobjectionstoourChristianreligionandbereasoneddown，whowasnotonlyaverydisagreeableperson，butremarkablyunlikelife-verymuchmoreunlikeitthananythingIhadseeninthepantomime。Thenativeindependenceofcharacterthisartisanwassupposedtopossess，wasrepresentedbyasuggestionofadialectthatI

certainlyneverheardinmyuncommercialtravels，andwithacoarseswingofvoiceandmanneranythingbutagreeabletohisfeelings，I

shouldconceive，consideredinthelightofaportrait，andasfarawayfromthefactasaChineseTartar。Therewasamodelpauperintroducedinlikemanner，whoappearedtometobethemostintolerablyarrogantpaupereverrelieved，andtoshowhimselfinabsolutewantanddirenecessityofacourseofStoneYard。For，howdidthispaupertestifytohishavingreceivedthegospelofhumility？Agentlemanmethimintheworkhouse，andsaid(whichI

myselfreallythoughtgood-naturedofhim)，’Ah，John？Iamsorrytoseeyouhere。Iamsorrytoseeyousopoor。’’Poor，sir！’

repliedthatman，drawinghimselfup，’IamthesonofaPrince！

MYfatheristheKingofKings。MYfatheristheLordofLords。

MYfatheristherulerofallthePrincesoftheEarth！’&c。Andthiswaswhatallthepreacher’sfellow-sinnersmightcometo，iftheywouldembracethisblessedbook-whichImustsayitdidsomeviolencetomyownfeelingsofreverence，toseeheldoutatarm’slengthatfrequentintervalsandsoundinglyslapped，likeaslowlotatasale。Now，couldIhelpaskingmyselfthequestion，whetherthemechanicbeforeme，whomustdetectthepreacherasbeingwrongaboutthevisiblemannerofhimselfandthelikeofhimself，andaboutsuchanoisylip-serverasthatpauper，mightnot，mostunhappilyfortheusefulnessoftheoccasion，doubtthatpreacher’sbeingrightaboutthingsnotvisibletohumansenses？

Again。Isitnecessaryoradvisabletoaddresssuchanaudiencecontinuallyas’fellow-sinners’？Isitnotenoughtobefellow-

creatures，bornyesterday，sufferingandstrivingto-day，dyingto-

morrow？Byourcommonhumanity，mybrothersandsisters，byourcommoncapacitiesforpainandpleasure，byourcommonlaughterandourcommontears，byourcommonaspirationtoreachsomethingbetterthanourselves，byourcommontendencytobelieveinsomethinggood，andtoinvestwhateverweloveorwhateverwelosewithsomequalitiesthataresuperiortoourownfailingsandweaknessesasweknowtheminourownpoorhearts-bythese，Hearme！-Surely，itisenoughtobefellow-creatures。Surely，itincludestheotherdesignation，andsometouchingmeaningsoverandabove。

Again。Therewasapersonageintroducedintothediscourse(notanabsolutenovelty，tothebestofmyremembranceofmyreading)，whohadbeenpersonallyknowntothepreacher，andhadbeenquiteaCrichtoninallthewaysofphilosophy，buthadbeenaninfidel。

Manyatimehadthepreachertalkedwithhimonthatsubject，andmanyatimehadhefailedtoconvincethatintelligentman。Buthefellill，anddied，andbeforehediedherecordedhisconversion-

inwordswhichthepreacherhadtakendown，myfellow-sinners，andwouldreadtoyoufromthispieceofpaper。Imustconfessthattome，asoneofanuninstructedaudience，theydidnotappearparticularlyedifying。Ithoughttheirtoneextremelyselfish，andIthoughttheyhadaspiritualvanityinthemwhichwasofthebefore-mentionedrefractorypauper’sfamily。

Allslangsandtwangsareobjectionableeverywhere，buttheslangandtwangoftheconventicle-asbadinitswayasthatoftheHouseofCommons，andnothingworsecanbesaidofit-shouldbestudiouslyavoidedundersuchcircumstancesasIdescribe。Theavoidancewasnotcompleteonthisoccasion。Norwasitquiteagreeabletoseethepreacheraddressinghispet’points’tohisbackersonthestage，asifappealingtothosedisciplestoshowhimup，andtestifytothemultitudethateachofthosepointswasaclincher。

But，inrespectofthelargeChristianityofhisgeneraltone；ofhisrenunciationofallpriestlyauthority；ofhisearnestandreiteratedassurancetothepeoplethatthecommonestamongthemcouldworkouttheirownsalvationiftheywould，bysimply，lovingly，anddutifullyfollowingOurSaviour，andthattheyneededthemediationofnoerringman；intheseparticulars，thisgentlemandeservedallpraise。Nothingcouldbebetterthanthespirit，ortheplainemphaticwordsofhisdiscourseintheserespects。Anditwasamostsignificantandencouragingcircumstancethatwheneverhestruckthatchord，orwheneverhedescribedanythingwhichChristhimselfhaddone，thearrayoffacesbeforehimwasverymuchmoreearnest，andverymuchmoreexpressiveofemotion，thanatanyothertime。