第18章

Deadcitizensstickuponthewalls，andliepulverisedonthesounding-boardovertheclergyman’shead，and，whenagustofaircomes，tumbledownuponhim。

InthisfirstexperienceIwassonauseatedbytoomuchsnuff，madeoftheDowgatefamily，theComportbranch，andotherfamiliesandbranches，thatIgavebutlittleheedtoourdullmannerofamblingthroughtheservice；tothebriskclerk’smannerofencouragingustotryanoteortwoatpsalmtime；tothegallery-congregation’smannerofenjoyingashrillduet，withoutanotionoftimeortune；

tothewhity-brownman’smannerofshuttingtheministerintothepulpit，andbeingveryparticularwiththelockofthedoor，asifhewereadangerousanimal。But，ItriedagainnextSunday，andsoonaccustomedmyselftothedeadcitizenswhenIfoundthatI

couldnotpossiblygetonwithoutthemamongtheCitychurches。

AnotherSunday。

Afterbeingagainrungforbyconflictingbells，likealegofmuttonoralacedhatahundredyearsago，Imakeselectionofachurchoddlyputawayinacorneramonganumberoflanes-asmallerchurchthanthelast，andanugly:ofaboutthedateofQueenAnne。Asacongregation，wearefourteenstrong:notcountinganexhaustedcharityschoolinagallery，whichhasdwindledawaytofourboys，andtwogirls。Intheporch，isabenefactionofloavesofbread，whichtherewouldseemtobenobodyleftintheexhaustedcongregationtoclaim，andwhichIsawanexhaustedbeadle，longfadedoutofuniform，eatingwithhiseyesforselfandfamilywhenIpassedin。Thereisalsoanexhaustedclerkinabrownwig，andtwoorthreeexhausteddoorsandwindowshavebeenbrickedup，andtheservicebooksaremusty，andthepulpitcushionsarethreadbare，andthewholeofthechurchfurnitureisinaveryadvancedstageofexhaustion。Wearethreeoldwomen(habitual)，twoyounglovers(accidental)，twotradesmen，onewithawifeandonealone，anauntandnephew，againtwogirls(thesetwogirlsdressedoutforchurchwitheverythingaboutthemlimpthatshouldbestiff，andVICEVERSA，areaninvariableexperience)，andthreesniggeringboys。Theclergymanis，perhaps，thechaplainofaciviccompany；hehasthemoistandvinouslook，andekethebulbousboots，ofoneacquaintedwith’Twentyport，andcometvintages。

Wearesoquietinourdulnessthatthethreesniggeringboys，whohavegotawayintoacornerbythealtar-railing，giveusastart，likecrackers，whenevertheylaugh。Andthisremindsmeofmyownvillagechurchwhere，duringsermon-timeonbrightSundayswhenthebirdsareverymusicalindeed，farmers’boyspatteroutoverthestonepavement，andtheclerkstepsoutfromhisdeskafterthem，andisdistinctlyheardinthesummerreposetopursueandpunchtheminthechurchyard，andisseentoreturnwithameditativecountenance，makingbelievethatnothingofthesorthashappened。

TheauntandnephewinthisCitychurcharemuchdisturbedbythesniggeringboys。Thenephewishimselfaboy，andthesniggererstempthimtosecularthoughtsofmarblesandstring，bysecretlyofferingsuchcommoditiestohisdistantcontemplation。ThisyoungSaintAnthonyforawhileresists，butpresentlybecomesabackslider，andindumbshowdefiesthesniggerersto’heave’amarbleortwoinhisdirection。Hereinheisdetectedbytheaunt(arigorousreducedgentlewomanwhohasthechargeofoffices)，andIperceivethatworthyrelativetopokehimintheside，withthecorrugatedhookedhandleofanancientumbrella。Thenephewrevengeshimselfforthis，byholdinghisbreathandterrifyinghiskinswomanwiththedreadbeliefthathehasmadeuphismindtoburst。Regardlessofwhispersandshakes，heswellsandbecomesdiscoloured，andyetagainswellsandbecomesdiscoloured，untiltheauntcanbearitnolonger，butleadshimout，withnovisibleneck，andwithhiseyesgoingbeforehimlikeaprawn’s。Thiscausesthesniggererstoregardflightasaneligiblemove，andI

knowwhichofthemwillgooutfirst，becauseoftheover-devoutattentionthathesuddenlyconcentratesontheclergyman。Inalittlewhile，thishypocrite，withanelaboratedemonstrationofhushinghisfootsteps，andwithafacegenerallyexpressiveofhavinguntilnowforgottenareligiousappointmentelsewhere，isgone。Numbertwogetsoutinthesameway，butratherquicker。

Numberthreegettingsafelytothedoor，thereturnsreckless，andbangingitopen，fliesforthwithaWhoop！thatvibratestothetopofthetoweraboveus。

Theclergyman，whoisofaprandialpresenceandamuffledvoice，maybescantofhearingaswellasofbreath，butheonlyglancesup，ashavinganideathatsomebodyhassaidAmeninawrongplace，andcontinueshissteadyjog-trot，likeafarmer’swifegoingtomarket。Hedoesallhehastodo，inthesameeasyway，andgivesusaconcisesermon，stilllikethejog-trotofthefarmer’swifeonalevelroad。Itsdrowsycadencesoonlullsthethreeoldwomenasleep，andtheunmarriedtradesmansitslookingoutatwindow，andthemarriedtradesmansitslookingathiswife’sbonnet，andtheloverssitlookingatoneanother，sosuperlativelyhappy，thatI

mindwhenI，turnedofeighteen，wentwithmyAngelicatoaCitychurchonaccountofashower(bythisspecialcoincidencethatitwasinHuggin-lane)，andwhenIsaidtomyAngelica，’Lettheblessedevent，Angelica，occuratnoaltarbutthis！’andwhenmyAngelicaconsentedthatitshouldoccuratnoother-whichitcertainlyneverdid，foritneveroccurredanywhere。AndO，Angelica，whathasbecomeofyou，thispresentSundaymorningwhenIcan’tattendtothesermon；and，moredifficultquestionthanthat，whathasbecomeofMeasIwaswhenIsatbyyourside！

But，wereceivethesignaltomakethatunanimousdivewhichsurelyisalittleconventional-likethestrangerustlingsandsettlingsandclearingsofthroatsandnoses，whichareneverdispensedwith，atcertainpointsoftheChurchservice，andareneverheldtobenecessaryunderanyothercircumstances。Inaminutemoreitisallover，andtheorganexpressesitselftobeasgladofitasitcanbeofanythinginitsrheumaticstate，andinanotherminuteweareallofusoutofthechurch，andWhity-brownhaslockeditup。

Anotherminuteorlittlemore，and，intheneighbouringchurchyard-nottheyardofthatchurch，butofanother-achurchyardlikeagreatshabbyoldmignonettebox，withtwotreesinitandonetomb-ImeetWhity-brown，inhisprivatecapacity，fetchingapintofbeerforhisdinnerfromthepublic-houseinthecorner，wherethekeysoftherottingfire-laddersarekeptandwereneveraskedfor，andwherethereisaragged，white-seamed，out-at-elbowedbagatelleboardonthefirstfloor。

InoneoftheseCitychurches，andonlyinone，IfoundanindividualwhomighthavebeenclaimedasexpresslyaCitypersonage。Irememberthechurch，bythefeaturethattheclergymancouldn’tgettohisowndeskwithoutgoingthroughtheclerk’s，orcouldn’tgettothepulpitwithoutgoingthroughthereading-desk-Iforgetwhich，anditisnomatter-andbythepresenceofthispersonageamongtheexceedinglysparsecongregation。Idoubtifwewereadozen，andwehadnoexhaustedcharityschooltohelpusout。Thepersonagewasdressedinblackofsquarecut，andwasstrickeninyears，andworeablackvelvetcap，andclothshoes。Hewasofastaid，wealthy，anddissatisfiedaspect。Inhishand，heconductedtochurchamysteriouschild:achildofthefemininegender。Thechildhadabeaverhat，withastiffdrabplumethatsurelyneverbelongedtoanybirdoftheair。

Thechildwasfurtherattiredinanankeenfrockandspencer，brownboxing-gloves，andaveil。Ithadablemish，inthenatureofcurrantjelly，onitschin；andwasathirstychild。Insomuchthatthepersonagecarriedinhispocketagreenbottle，fromwhich，whenthefirstpsalmwasgivenout，thechildwasopenlyrefreshed。

Atallothertimesthroughouttheserviceitwasmotionless，andstoodontheseatofthelargepew，closelyfittedintothecorner，likearain-waterpipe。

Thepersonageneveropenedhisbook，andneverlookedattheclergyman。Heneversatdowneither，butstoodwithhisarmsleaningonthetopofthepew，andhisforeheadsometimesshadedwithhisrighthand，alwayslookingatthechurchdoor。Itwasalongchurchforachurchofitssize，andhewasattheupperend，buthealwayslookedatthedoor。Thathewasanoldbookkeeper，oranoldtraderwhohadkepthisownbooks，andthathemightbeseenattheBankofEnglandaboutDividendtimes，nodoubt。ThathehadlivedintheCityallhislifeandwasdisdainfulofotherlocalities，nodoubt。Whyhelookedatthedoor，Ineverabsolutelyproved，butitismybeliefthathelivedinexpectationofthetimewhenthecitizenswouldcomebacktoliveintheCity，anditsancientglorieswouldberenewed。HeappearedtoexpectthatthiswouldoccuronaSunday，andthatthewandererswouldfirstappear，inthedesertedchurches，penitentandhumbled。

Hence，helookedatthedoorwhichtheyneverdarkened。Whosechildthechildwas，whetherthechildofadisinheriteddaughter，orsomeparishorphanwhomthepersonagehadadopted，therewasnothingtoleadupto。Itneverplayed，orskipped，orsmiled。

Once，theideaoccurredtomethatitwasanautomaton，andthatthepersonagehadmadeit；butfollowingthestrangecoupleoutoneSunday，Iheardthepersonagesaytoit，’Thirteenthousandpounds；’towhichitaddedinaweakhumanvoice，’Seventeenandfourpence。’FourSundaysIfollowedthemout，andthisisallI

everheardorsawthemsay。OneSunday，Ifollowedthemhome。

Theylivedbehindapump，andthepersonageopenedtheirabodewithanexceedinglargekey。Theonesolitaryinscriptionontheirhouserelatedtoafire-plug。Thehousewaspartlyunderminedbyadesertedandclosedgateway；itswindowswereblindwithdirt；anditstoodwithitsfacedisconsolatelyturnedtoawall。FivegreatchurchesandtwosmallonesrangtheirSundaybellsbetweenthishouseandthechurchthecouplefrequented，sotheymusthavehadsomespecialreasonforgoingaquarterofamiletoit。ThelasttimeIsawthem，wasonthiswise。Ihadbeentoexploreanotherchurchatadistance，andhappenedtopassthechurchtheyfrequented，atabouttwooftheafternoonwhenthatedificewasclosed。But，alittleside-door，whichIhadneverobservedbefore，stoodopen，anddisclosedcertaincellaroussteps。

Methought’Theyareairingthevaultsto-day，’whenthepersonageandthechildsilentlyarrivedatthesteps，andsilentlydescended。Ofcourse，Icametotheconclusionthatthepersonagehadatlastdespairedofthelooked-forreturnofthepenitentcitizens，andthatheandthechildwentdowntogetthemselvesburied。

InthecourseofmypilgrimagesIcameupononeobscurechurchwhichhadbrokenoutinthemelodramaticstyle，andwasgotupwithvarioustawdrydecorations，muchafterthemanneroftheextinctLondonmay-poles。Theseattractionshadinducedseveralyoungpriestsordeaconsinblackbibsforwaistcoats，andseveralyoungladiesinterestedinthatholyorder(theproportionbeing，asI

estimated，seventeenyoungladiestoadeacon)，tocomeintotheCityasanewandoddexcitement。ItwaswonderfultoseehowtheseyoungpeopleplayedouttheirlittleplayintheheartoftheCity，allamongthemselves，withoutthedesertedCity’sknowinganythingaboutit。Itwasasifyoushouldtakeanemptycounting-

houseonaSunday，andactoneoftheoldMysteriesthere。Theyhadimpressedasmallschool(fromwhatneighbourhoodIdon’tknow)