第14章
“Didshecallyouanexception，oranything？“saidLin。
“Well，itwouldcipheroutrightcloseinthatneighborhood。“
“Here’show，then！“criedthedelightedLin，overhiscup。
“Jestbecauseyu’happentocomefromVermont，“continuedMr。
McLean，“isnocauseforextrapride。Shoo！IwasraisedinMassachusettsmyself，andbigmenhavebeenraisedthere，too，——DanielWebsterandIsraelPutnam:andalotofthempoliticians。“
“Virginiaisagoodlittleoldstate，“observedtheSoutherner。
“Bothof’em’sasightaheadofVermont。ShetoldmeIwasthefirstexceptionshe’dstruck。“
“Whatrulewereyouprovin’atthetime，Lin？“
“Wellyu’see，Istartedtokissher。“
“Yu’didn’t！“
“Shucks！Ididn’tmeannothin’。“
“Ireckonyu’stoppedmightysudden？“
“Why，I’dbeenridin’outwithher——ridin’toschool，ridin’fromschool，anda-comin’anda-goin’，andshechattin’cheerfulandaskin’meaheapo’questionsallaboutmyselfeveryday，andI
notlyin’muchneither。AndsoIfiguredshewouldn’tmind。Lotsof’emlikeit。Butshedidn’t，youbet！“
“No，“saidtheVirginian，deeplyproudofhisladywhohadslightedhim。Hehadpulledheroutofthewateronce，andhehadbeenherunrewardedknightevento-day，andhefelthisgrievance；buthespokenotofittoLin；forhefeltalso，inmemory，herarmsclingingroundhimashecarriedherashoreuponhishorse。Buthemuttered，“Plumbridiculous！“asherinjusticestruckhimafresh，whiletheoutragedMcLeantoldhistale。
“Trampleiswhatshehasdoneonmeto-night，andwithoutnotice。
Wewasstartin’tocomehere；TaylorandMrs。wereaheadinthebuggy，andIwasholdin’herhorse，andhelpin’herupinthesaddle，likeIdonefordaysanddays。Whowastheretoseeus？
AndIfiguredshe’dnotmind，andshecallsmeanexception！Yu’doughtto’vejustheardheraboutWesternmenrespectin’women。Sothat’sthelastwordwe’vespoke。Wecometwenty-fivemilesthen，shescootin’infront，andherhorsekickin’thesandinmyface。
Mrs。Taylor，sheguessedsomethingwasup，butshedidn’ttell。“
“MissWooddidnottell？“
“Notshe！She’llneveropenherhead。Shecantakecareofherself，youbet！“Thefiddlessoundedhilariouslyinthehouse，andthefeetalso。Theyhadwarmedupaltogether，andtheirdancingfigurescrossedthewindowsbackandforth。Thetwocow-punchersdrewneartoawindowandlookedinGloomily。
“Thereshegoes，“saidLin。
“WithUncleHugheyagain，“saidtheVirginian，sourly。“Yu’mightsupposehedidn’thaveawifeandtwins，toseethewayhegoesgambollin’around。
“Westfallistakin’aturnwithhernow，“saidMcLean。
“James！“exclaimedtheVirginian。“He’sanotherwithawifeandfam’ly，andhegetsthedancin’，too。“
“ThereshegoeswithTaylor，“saidLin，presently。
“Anothermarriedman！“theSouthernercommented。Theyprowledroundtothestore-room，andpassedthroughthekitchentowherethedancerswererobustlytramping。MissWoodwasstillthepartnerofMr。Taylor。“Let’shavesomewhiskey，“saidtheVirginian。Theyhadit，andreturned，andtheVirginian’sdisgustandsenseofinjurygrewdeeper。“OldCarmodyhasgothernow，“
hedrawled。“Hepolkaslikealandslide。Shelearnshismonkey-facedkidtospelldogandcowallthemawnin’。He’doughttobetuckedupcoseyinhisbedrightnow，oldCarmodyought。“
Theywerestandinginthatplacesetapartforthesleepingchildren；andjustatthismomentoneoftwobabiesthatwerestowedbeneathachairutteredadrowsynote。Amuchloudercry，indeedachorusoflament，wouldhavebeenneededtoreachtheearsoftheparentsintheroombeyond，suchwasthenoisyvolumeofthedance。ButinthisquietplacethelightsoundcaughtMr。
McLean’sattention，andheturnedtoseeifanythingwerewrong。
Butbothbabiesweresleepingpeacefully。
“Them’sUncleHughey’stwins，“hesaid。
“Howdoyouhappentoknowthat？“inquiredtheVirginian，suddenlyinterested。
“Sawhiswifeput’emunderthechairsoshecouldfind’emrightoffwhenshecometogohome。“
“Oh，“saidtheVirginian，thoughtfully。“Oh，find’emrightoff。
Yes。UncleHughey’stwins。“Hewalkedtoaspotfromwhichhecouldviewthedance。“Well，“hecontinued，returning，“theschoolmarmmusthavetakenquiteanotiontoUncleHughey。Hehasgotherforthisquadrille。“TheVirginianwasnowspeakingwithoutrancor；buthiswordscamewithaslightlyaugmenteddrawl，andthiswithhimwasoftenabadomen。Henoneturnedhiseyesuponthecollectedbabieswrappedinvariouscoloredshawlsandknittedwork。“Nine，ten，eleven，beautifulsleepin’
strangers，“hecounted，inasweetvoice。“Anyof’emyourn，Lin？“
“NotthatIknowof，“grinnedMr。McLean“Eleven，twelve。ThishyehislittleChristopherintheblue-stripequilt——ormaybethatotheryello’-headishim。TheangelshavecommencedtodropinonusrightsmartalongBearCreek，Lin。“
“Whattrashareyu’talkin’anyway？“
“Iftheylooksoawfulalikeintheheavenlygyarden，“thegentleSouthernercontinued，“I’djusthatetobethefolksthathasthecuttin’of’emouto’thegeneralherd。Andthat’sarightquaintnotiontoo，“headdedsoftly。“ThemunderthechairareUncleHughey’s，didn’tyoutellme？“Andstooping，heliftedthetorpidbabiesandplacedthembeneathatable。“No，thatain’tthorough，“hemurmured。Withwonderfuldexterityandsolicitudefortheirwellfare，heremovedtheloosewrapwhichwasaroundthem，andthissoonledtoanintricateprocessofexchange。ForamomentMr。McLeanhadbeenstaringattheVirginian，puzzled。
Then，withajoyfulyelpofenlightenment，hesprangtoabethim。
Andwhilebothbusiedthemselveswiththeshawlsandquilts，theunconsciousparentswentdancingvigorouslyon，andthesmall，occasionalcriesoftheirprogenydidnotreachthem。
TheSwintonbarbecuewasover。Thefiddlesweresilent，thesteerwaseaten，thebarrelemptied，orlargelyso，andthetapersextinguished；roundthehouseandsunkenfireallmovementofguestswasquiet；thefamilieswerelongdepartedhomeward，andaftertheirhospitableturbulence，theSwintonsslept。
Mr。andMrs。Westfalldrovethroughthenight，andastheynearedtheircabintherecamefromamongthebundledwrapsastill，smallvoice。
“Jim，“saidhiswife，“IsaidAlfredwouldcatchcold。“
“Bosh！Lizzie，don’tyoufret。He’salittlemorethanayearlin’，andofcoursehe’llsnuffle。“AndyoungJamestookakissfromhislove。
“Well，howyoucanspeakofAlfredthatway，callinghimayearling，asifhewasacalf，andhejustasmuchyourchildasmine，Idon’tsee，JamesWestfall！“
“Why，whatunderthesundoyoumean？“
“Therehegoesagain！Dohurryuphome，Jim。He’sgotarealstrangecough。“
Sotheyhurriedhome。Soontheninemileswerefinished，andgoodJameswasunhitchingbyhisstablelantern，whilehiswifeinthehousehastenedtocommittheiroffspringtobed。Thetraceshaddropped，andeachhorsemarchedforwardforfurtherunbuckling，whenJamesheardhimselfcalled。Indeed，therewasthatinhiswife’svoicewhichmadehimjerkouthispistolasheran。ButitwasnobearorIndian——onlytwostrangechildrenonthebed。Hiswifewasglaringatthem。
Hesighedwithreliefandlaiddownthepistol。
“Putthatonagain，JamesWestfall。You’llneedit。Lookhere！“
“Well，theywon’tbite。Whosearethey？Wherehaveyoustowedourn？“
“WherehaveI——“Utteranceforsookthismotherforamoment。“Andyouaskme！“shecontinued。“AskLinMcLean。Askhimthatsetsbullsonfolksandstealsslippers，whathe’sdonewithourinnocentlambs，mixingthemupwithotherpeople’scoughing，unhealthybrats。That’sCharlieTaylorinAlfred’sclothes，andI
knowAlfreddidn’tcoughlikethat，andIsaidtoyouitwasstrange；andtheotheronethat’sbeenputinChristopher’snewquiltsisnotevenabub——bub——boy！“
AsthiscrimeagainstsocietyloomedcleartoJamesWestfall’sunderstanding，hesatdownonthenearestpieceoffurniture，andheedlessofhiswife’stearsandhisexchangedchildren，brokeintounregeneratelaughter。Doubtlessafterhissharpalarmaboutthebear，hewasunstrung。Hislady，however，promptlyrestrunghim；andbythetimetheyhadrepackedthenowclamorouschangelings，andwererattlingontheirwaytotheTaylors’，hebegantoshareheroutragedfeelingsproperly，asahusbandandafathershould；butwhenhereachedtheTaylors’andlearnedfromMissWoodthatatthishouseachildhadbeenunwrappedwhomnobodycouldatallidentify，andthatMr。andMrs。TaylorwerealreadyfarontheroadtotheSwintons’，JamesWestfallwhippeduphishorsesandgrewalmostasthirstyforrevengeaswashiswife。
Wherethesteerhadbeenroasted，thepowderedasheswerenowcoldwhite，andMr。McLean，feelingthroughhisdreamsthechangeofdawncomeovertheair，satupcautiouslyamongtheoutdoorslumberersandwakedhisneighbor。
“Daywillbesoon，“hewhispered，“andwemustlightoutofthis。
Ineversuspicionedyu’hadthatmuchofthedevilinyoubefore。“
“Ireckonsomeofthefellowswillacthaidstrong，“theVirginianmurmuredluxuriously，amongthewarmthofhisblankets。
“Itellyu’wemustskip，“saidLin，forthesecondtime；andherubbedtheVirginian’sblackhead，whichalonewasvisible。
“Skip，then，you，“camemuffledfromwithin，“andkeepyou’selfmightysca’cetilltheycanappreciateourfrolic。“
TheSouthernerwithdrewdeeperintohisbed，andMr。McLean，informinghimthathewasafool，aroseandsaddledhishorse。
Fromthesaddle-bag，hebroughtaparcel，andlightlylayingthisbesideBokayBaldy，hemountedandwasgone。WhenBaldyawokelater，hefoundtheparceltobeapairoffloweryslippers。
InselectingtheinertVirginianasthefool，Mr。McLeanwasscarcelywise；itistheabsentwhoarealwaysguilty。
BeforeeverLincouldhavebeenamileinretreat，therattleofthewheelsrousedallofthem，andherecametheTaylors。BeforetheTaylors’knockinghadbroughttheSwintonstotheirdoor，otherwheelssounded，andherewereMr。andMrs。Carmody，andUncleHugheywithhiswife，andcloseafterthemMr。Dow，alone，whotoldhowhiswifehadgoneintooneofherfits——sheuponwhomDr。BarkeratDrybonehadenjoinedtotalabstinencefromallexcitement。Voicesofwomenandchildrenbegantobeuplifted；
theWestfallsarrivedinalather，andtheThomases；andbysunrise，whatwithfathersandmothersandspectatorsandloudoffspring，therewasgatheredsuchameetingashasseldombeenbeforeamongthegenerationsofspeakingmen。To-dayyoucanhearlegendsofitfromTexastoMontana；butIamgivingyouthefullparticulars。
OfcoursetheypitcheduponpoorLin。HerewastheVirginiandoinghisbest，holdinghorsesandhelpingladiesdescend，whilethenameofMcLeanbegantobemutteredwiththreats。SoonapartyledbyMr。Dowsetforthinsearchofhim，andtheSouthernerdebatedamomentifhehadbetternotputthemonawrongtrack。Butheconcludedthattheymightsafelygoonsearching。
Mrs。WestfallfoundChristopheratonceinthegreenshawlofAnnaMariaDow，butallwasnotachievedthusinthetwinklingofaneyeMr。McLeanhad，itappeared，asJamesWestfalllugubriouslypointedout，notmerely“swappedtheduds；hehadshuffledthewholedoggonedeck；“andtheycursedthisSatanicinvention。Thefatherswerebutofmoderateassistance；itwasthemotherswhodidtheheavywork；andbyteno’clocksomeunsolvedproblemsgrewsodelicatethataladies’caucuswasorganizedinaprivateroom，——noadmittanceformen，——andwhetwasdonethereIcanonlysurmise。
Duringitsprogressthesearchpartyreturned。IthadnotfoundMr。McLean。Ithadfoundatreewithanoticepeggeduponit，reading，“Godblessourhome！“Thiswascaptured。
Butsuccessattendedthecaucus；eachmotheremerged，satisfiedthatshehadreceivedherown，andeachsire，nowthathisfamilywasitselfagain，begantolookathisneighborsideways。Afteramanhasbeenangryenoughtokillanotherman，afterthefireofrighteousslaughterhasragedinhisheartasithadcertainlyragedforseveralhoursintheheartsofthesefathers，theflamewillusuallyburnitselfout。Thiswillbesoinagenerousnature，unlessthecauseoftheangerisstillunchanged。Butthechildrenhadbeenidentified；nonehadtakenhurt。Allhadbeenhumanelygiventheirnourishment。Thethingwasover。Thedaywasbeautiful。Atemptingfeastremainedfromthebarbecue。TheseBearCreekfatherscouldnotkeeptheirireatredheat。Mostofthem，beingasyetmoretheirwives’roversthantheirchildren’sparents，begantoseethemirthfulsideoftheadventure；andtheyceasedtofeelveryseverelytowardLinMcLean。
Notsothewomen。Theycriedforvengeance；buttheycriedinvain，andweremetwithsmiles。