第17章
“Mygreatestpleasure。There！And，please，Iwantthemtogoonso。“
“Goonso！Idon’treckonyu’knowwhatyou’resayin’。Yu’mightaswellaskfruittostaygreen。Ifthewaywearenowcankeepbein’enoughforyou，itcan’tforme。Apleasuretoyou，isit？
Well，tomeitis——Idon’tknowwhattocallit。Icometoyu’
andIhateit，andIcomeagainandIhateit，andIacheandgrievealloverwhenIgo。No！Youwillhavetothinkofsomeotherwaythanjustinvitin’metokeepgreen。“
“IfIamtoseeyou——“beganthegirl。
“You’renottoseeme。Notlikethis。IcanstayawayeasierthanwhatIamJoin’。“
“Willyoudomeafavor，agreatone？“saidshe，now。
“Makeitasimpossibleasyouplease！“hecried。Hethoughtitwastobesomeaction。
“Gooncoming。Butdon’ttalktomeabout——don’ttalkinthatway——ifyoucanhelpit“
Helaughedout，notpermittinghimselftoswear。
“But，“shecontinued，“ifyoucan’thelptalkingthatway——sometimes——IpromiseIwilllisten。ThatistheonlypromiseImake。“
“Thatisabargain，“hesaid。
Thenhehelpedhermountherhorse，restraininghimselflikeaSpartan，andtheyrodehometohercabin。
“Youhavemadeitprettynearimpossible，“hesaid，ashetookhisleave。“Butyou’vebeensquareto-day，andI’llshowyouI
canbesquarewhenIcomeback。I’llnotdomorethanaskyouifyourmind’sthesame。AndnowI’llnotseeyouforquiteawhile。
Iamgoingalongway。ButI’llbeverybusy。Andbein’busyalwayskeepsmefromgrievin’toomuchaboutyou。“
Strangeiswoman！Shewouldratherhaveheardsomeotherlastremarkthanthis。
“Oh，verywell！“shesaid。“I’llnotmissyoueither。“
Hesmiledather。“Idoubtifyu’canhelpmissin’me，“heremarked。Andhewasgoneatonce，gallopingonhisMontehorse。
Whichofthetwowonavictorythisday？
XIII。THEGAMEANDTHENATION——ACTFIRST
Therecanbenodoubtofthis:AllAmericaisdividedintotwoclasses，——thequalifyandtheequality。
Thelatterwillalwaysrecognizetheformerwhenmistakenforit。
Bothwillbewithusuntilourwomenbearnothingbuthangs。
ItwasthroughtheDeclarationofIndependencethatweAmericansacknowledgedtheETERNALEQUALITYofman。Forbyitweabolishedacut-and-driedaristocracy。Wehadseenlittlemereartificiallyheldupinhighplaces，andgreatmenartificiallyhelddowninlowplaces，andourownjustice-lovingheartsabhorredthisviolencetohumannature。Therefore，wedecreedthateverymanshouldthenceforthhaveequallibertytofindhisownlevel。Bythisverydecreeweacknowledgedandgavefreedomtotruearistocracy，saying，“Letthebestmanwin，whoeverheis。“Letthebestmanwin！ThatisAmerica’sword。Thatistruedemocracy。
Andtruedemocracyandtruearistocracyareoneandthesamething。Ifanybodycannotseethis，somuchtheworseforhiseyesight。
TheabovereflectionsoccurredtomebeforereachingBillings，Montana，somethreeweeksafterIhadunexpectedlymettheVirginianatOmaha，Nebraska。IhadnotknownofthattrustgiventohimbyJudgeHenry，whichwastakinghimEast。IwaslookingtoridewithhimbeforelongamongthecleanhillsofSunkCreek。
Isupposedhewasthere。ButIcameuponhimonemorninginColonelCyrusJones’seatingpalace。
Didyouknowthepalace？ItstoodinOmaha，nearthetrains，anditwastenyearsold(whichismiddle-agedinOmaha)whenIfirstsawit。Itwasashellofwood，paintedwithgoldenemblems，——thesteamboat，theeagle，theYosemite，——andalivebearategratuitiesatitsentrance。Weatherpermitting，itopenedupontheworldasastageupontheaudience。YousatinOmaha’swholesightanddined，whileOmaha’sdustcameandsettledupontherefreshments。ItisgonethewayoftheIndianandthebuffalo，fortheWestisgrowingold。Youshouldhaveseenthepalaceandsatthere。Infrontofyoupassedrainbowsofmen，——Chinese，Indianchiefs，Africans，GeneralMiles，youngersons，Austriannobility，widefemalesinpink。OurcontinentdrainedprismaticallythroughOmahaonce。
SoIwaspassingthatwayalso，walkingforthesakeofventilationfromasleeping-cartowardabath，whenthelanguageofColonelCyrusJonescameouttome。TheactualcolonelIhadneverseenbefore。HestoodattherearofhispalaceingrayflowerymustachesandaConfederateuniform，tellingthewishesofhisgueststothecookthroughahole。Youalwaysboughtmealticketsatonce，elseyoubecameunwelcome。Guestsherehadfoiblesattimes，andarapidexitwastooeasy。ThereforeI
boughtaticket。ItwasspringandsummersinceIhadheardanythinglikethecolonel。TheMissourihadnotyetflowedintoNewYorkdialectfreely，andhisvocabularymetmelikethebreezeoftheplains。SoIwentintobefannedbyit，andtheresattheVirginianatatable，alone。
Hisgreetingwasuptothecodeofindifferenceproperontheplains；buthepresentlyremarked，“I’mrightgladtoseesomebody，“whichwasagooddealtosay。“Themthatcomeshyeh，“
heobservednext，“don’teat。Theyfeed。“Andheconsideredtheguestswithasombreattention。“D’yu’reckontheyfindjoyfuldigestioninthisswallo’-an’-get-outtrough？“
“Whatareyoudoinghere，then？“saidI。
“Oh，pshaw！Whenyu’can’thavewhatyouchoose，yu’justchoosewhatyouhave。“Andhetookthebill-of-fare。Ibegantoknowthathehadsomethingonhismind，soIdidnottroublehimfurther。
Meanwhilehesatstudyingthebill-of-fare。
“Everheardo’them？“heinquired，shovingmethespotteddocument。
Mostimprobabledisheswerethere，——salmis，canapes，supremes，——allperfectlyspeltandabsolutelytransparent。Itwastheoldtrickofcopyingsomemetropolitanmenutocatchtravellersofthethirdandlastdimensionofinnocence；andwheneverthisisdonethefoodisofthethirdandlastdimensionofawfulness，whichthecow-puncherknewaswellasanybody。
“Sotheykeepthatupherestill，“Isaid。
“Butwhataboutthem？“herepeated。Hisfingerwasataspecialitem，FROGS’LEGSALADELMONICO。“Aretheytrueanywheres？“heaskedAndItoldhim，certainly。IalsoexplainedtohimalmostDelmonicoofNewYorkandaboutAugustinofPhiladelphia。
“There’snotalittlebito’useinlyin’tomethismawnin’，“hesaid，withhisengagingsmile。“Iain’tgoin’toawdehanything’slaigs。“
“Well，I’llseehowhegetsoutofit，“Isaid，rememberingtheoddTexaslegend。(Thetravellerreadthebill-of-fare，youknow，andcalledforavol-au-vent。Andtheproprietorlookedatthetraveller，andrunningapistolintohisear，observed，“You’lltakehash。“)Iwasthinkingofthisandwonderingwhatwouldhappentome。SoItookthestep。
“Wantsfrogs’legs，doeshe？“shoutedColonelCyrusJones。Hefixedhiseyeuponme，anditnarrowedtoaslit。“Toomanybrainworkersbreakfastingbeforeyu’camein，professor，“saidhe。
“Missionaryatethelastlegoffmejustnow。Brownthewheat！“
hecommanded，throughtheholetothecook，forsomeonehadorderedhotcakes。
“I’llhavefriedaiggs，“saidtheVirginian。“Cookedbothsides。“
“Whitewings！“sangthecolonelthroughthehole。“Let’emflyupanddown。“
“Coffeean’nomilk，“saidtheVirginian。
“Drawoneinthedark！“thecolonelroared。
“Andbeefsteak，rare。“
“Oneslaughterinthepan，andlettheblooddrip！“
“Ishouldlikeaglassofwater，please，“saidI。Thecolonelthrewmealookofpity。
“OneMissouriandicefortheprofessor！“hesaid。
“Thatfello’sarightliveman，“commentedtheVirginian。Butheseemedthoughtful。Presentlyheinquired，“Yu’sayhewasaforeigner，an’learnedfancycookin’toNewYawk？“
Thatwasthiscow-puncher’sway。Scarcelyeverwouldheletdropathingnewtohimuntilhehadgotfromyouyourwholeinformationaboutit。SoItoldhimthehistoryofLorenzoDelmonicoandhispioneerwork，asmuchasIknew，andtheSouthernerlistenedintently。
“Mightyinter-estin’，“hesaid——“mighty。Hecouldjusttakelittleoldo’rn’ryfrawgs，anddandy’emuptosuitthebloods。
Mightyinter-estin’。Iexpaict，though，hiscookin’wouldgiveanoutraigedstomachtoaplain-raisedman。“
“Ifyouwanttofollowitup，“saidI，bywayofasuddenexperiment，“MissMollyWoodmighthavesomebookaboutFrenchdishes。“
ButtheVirginiandidnotturnahair。“Ireckonshewouldn’t，“
heanswered。“ShewasraisedinVermont。Theydon’tbotheroverlyabouttheireatin’upinVermont。Hyeh’swhatMissWoodrecommendedthelas’timeIwasseein’her，“thecow-puncheradded，bringingKenilworthfromhispocket。“Rightfinestory。
ThatQueenElizabethmusthavecert’nlybeenacompetentwoman。“
“Shewas，“saidI。Buttalkcametoanendhere。Adustycrew，mostevidentlyfromtheplains，nowenteredanddriftedtoatable；andeachmanofthemgavetheVirginianaboutaquarterofaslouchynod。Hisgreetingtothemwasveryserene。Only，Kenilworthwentbackintohispocket，andhebreakfastedinsilence。AmongthosewhohadgreetedhimInowrecognizedaface。
“Why，that’sthemanyouplayedcardswithatMedicineBow！“I
said。
“Yes。Trampas。He’sgotajobattheranchnow。“TheVirginiansaidnomore，butwentonwithhisbreakfast。
Hisappearancewaschanged。AgedIwouldscarcelysay，forthiswouldseemasifhedidnotlookyoung。ButIthinkthattheboywasaltogethergonefromhisface——theboywhosefreakwithStevehadturnedMedicineBowupsidedown，whoseotherfreakwiththebabieshadoutragedBearCreek，theboywhohadlovedtojinglehisspurs。Butmanhoodhadonlytrained，notbroken，hisyouth。
Itwasallthere，onlyobedienttothereinandcurb。
Presentlywewenttogethertotherailwayyard。
“TheJudgeisdoingarightsmarto’businessthisyear，“hebegan，verycasuallyindeed，sothatIknewthiswasimportant。
Besidesbellsandcoalsmoke，thesmellandcrowdedsoundsofcattleroseintheairaroundus。“Hyeh’sourfirstgathero’
beevesontheranch，“continuedtheVirginian。“Thewholelot’sshippedthroughtoChicagointwosectionsovertheBurlington。
TheJudgeisfightingtheElkhornroad。“Wepassedslowlyalongthetwotrains，——twentycars，eachcarpackedwithhuddled，round-eyed，gazingsteers。Heexaminedtoseeifanyanimalsweredown。“Theyain’tateordrankanythingtospeakof，“hesaid，whiletheterrifiedbrutesstaredatusthroughtheirslats。“Notsincetheystrucktherailroadthey’venotdrank。Yu’mightsupposethenceknowsomehowwhatthey’retravellin’toChicagofor。“Andcasually，alwayscasually，hetoldmetherest。JudgeHenrycouldnotsparehisforemanawayfromthesecondgatherofbeeves。Thereforethesetwoten-cartrainswiththeirdoublecrewofcow-boyshadbeengiventotheVirginian’scharge。AfterChicago，hewastoreturnbySt。PaulovertheNorthernPacific；
fortheJudgehadwishedhimtoseecertainoftheroad’sdirectorsandexplaintothempersuasivelyhowgoodathingitwouldbeforthemtoallowespeciallycheapratestotheSunkCreekoutfithenceforth。ThiswasalltheVirginiantoldme；anditcontainedthewholematter，tobesure。
“Soyou’reactingforeman，“saidI。
“Why，somebodyhastohavethesay，Ireckon。“
“Andofcourseyouhatedthepromotion？“