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The Voyage Out
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第19章

“Alittlesilvergoesalongwayinthiscountry,“shechuckled。

ShesentSusanbacktofetchanothercup。

“Theyhavesuchexcellentbiscuitshere,“shesaid,contemplatingaplateful。“Notsweetbiscuits,whichIdon’tlike——drybiscuits……Haveyoubeensketching?“

“Oh,I’vedonetwoorthreelittledaubs,“saidMrs。Elliot,speakingratherlouderthanusual。“Butit’ssodifficultafterOxfordshire,wheretherearesomanytrees。Thelight’ssostronghere。

Somepeopleadmireit,Iknow,butIfinditveryfatiguing。“

“Ireallydon’tneedcooking,Susan,“saidMrs。Paley,whenherniecereturned。“Imusttroubleyoutomoveme。“Everythinghadtobemoved。Finallytheoldladywasplacedsothatthelightwaveredoverher,asthoughshewereafishinanet。Susanpouredouttea,andwasjustremarkingthattheywerehavinghotweatherinWiltshiretoo,whenMr。Venningaskedwhetherhemightjointhem。

“It’ssonicetofindayoungmanwhodoesn’tdespisetea,“

saidMrs。Paley,regaininghergoodhumour。“Oneofmynephewstheotherdayaskedforaglassofsherry——atfiveo’clock!I

toldhimhecouldgetitatthepublichouseroundthecorner,butnotinmydrawingroom。“

“I’drathergowithoutlunchthantea,“saidMr。Venning。

“That’snotstrictlytrue。Iwantboth。“

Mr。Venningwasadarkyoungman,aboutthirty-twoyearsofage,veryslapdashandconfidentinhismanner,althoughatthismomentobviouslyalittleexcited。HisfriendMr。Perrottwasabarrister,andasMr。PerrottrefusedtogoanywherewithoutMr。Venningitwasnecessary,whenMr。PerrottcametoSantaMarinaaboutaCompany,forMr。Venningtocometoo。Hewasabarristeralso,butheloathedaprofessionwhichkepthimindoorsoverbooks,anddirectlyhiswidowedmotherdiedhewasgoing,soheconfidedtoSusan,totakeupflyingseriously,andbecomepartnerinalargebusinessformakingaeroplanes。Thetalkrambledon。Itdealt,ofcourse,withthebeautiesandsingularitiesoftheplace,thestreets,thepeople,andthequantitiesofunownedyellowdogs。

“Don’tyouthinkitdreadfullycruelthewaytheytreatdogsinthiscountry?“askedMrs。Paley。

“I’dhave’emallshot,“saidMr。Venning。

“Oh,butthedarlingpuppies,“saidSusan。

“Jollylittlechaps,“saidMr。Venning。“Lookhere,you’vegotnothingtoeat。“AgreatwedgeofcakewashandedSusanonthepointofatremblingknife。Herhandtrembledtooasshetookit。

“Ihavesuchadeardogathome,“saidMrs。Elliot。

“Myparrotcan’tstanddogs,“saidMrs。Paley,withtheairofonemakingaconfidence。“Ialwayssuspectthathe(orshe)

wasteasedbyadogwhenIwasabroad。“

“Youdidn’tgetfarthismorning,MissWarrington,“saidMr。Venning。

“Itwashot,“sheanswered。Theirconversationbecameprivate,owingtoMrs。Paley’sdeafnessandthelongsadhistorywhichMrs。Elliothadembarkeduponofawire-hairedterrier,whitewithjustoneblackspot,belongingtoanuncleofhers,whichhadcommittedsuicide。“Animalsdocommitsuicide,“

shesighed,asifsheassertedapainfulfact。

“Couldn’tweexplorethetownthisevening?“Mr。Venningsuggested。

“Myaunt——“Susanbegan。

“Youdeserveaholiday,“hesaid。“You’realwaysdoingthingsforotherpeople。“

“Butthat’smylife,“shesaid,undercoverofrefillingtheteapot。

“That’snoone’slife,“hereturned,“noyoungperson’s。You’llcome?“

“Ishouldliketocome,“shemurmured。

AtthismomentMrs。Elliotlookedupandexclaimed,“Oh,Hugh!

He’sbringingsomeone,“sheadded。

“Hewouldlikesometea,“saidMrs。Paley。“Susan,runandgetsomecups——therearethetwoyoungmen。“

“We’rethirstingfortea,“saidMr。Elliot。“YouknowMr。Ambrose,Hilda?Wemetonthehill。“

“Hedraggedmein,“saidRidley,“orIshouldhavebeenashamed。

I’mdustyanddirtyanddisagreeable。“Hepointedtohisbootswhichwerewhitewithdust,whileadejectedflowerdroopinginhisbuttonhole,likeanexhaustedanimaloveragate,addedtotheeffectoflengthanduntidiness。Hewasintroducedtotheothers。

Mr。HewetandMr。Hirstbroughtchairs,andteabeganagain,Susanpouringcascadesofwaterfrompottopot,alwayscheerfully,andwiththecompetenceoflonguse。

“Mywife’sbrother,“RidleyexplainedtoHilda,whomhefailedtoremember,“hasahousehere,whichhehaslentus。

IwassittingonarockthinkingofnothingatallwhenElliotstarteduplikeafairyinapantomime。“

“Ourchickengotintothesalt,“HewetsaiddolefullytoSusan。

“Norisittruethatbananasincludemoistureaswellassustenance。

Hirstwasalreadydrinking。

“We’vebeencursingyou,“saidRidleyinanswertoMrs。Elliot’skindenquiriesabouthiswife。“Youtouristseatupalltheeggs,Helentellsme。That’saneye-soretoo“——henoddedhisheadatthehotel。“Disgustingluxury,Icallit。Welivewithpigsinthedrawing-room。“

“Thefoodisnotatallwhatitoughttobe,consideringtheprice,“

saidMrs。Paleyseriously。“Butunlessonegoestoahotelwhereisonetogoto?“

“Stayathome,“saidRidley。“IoftenwishIhad!Everyoneoughttostayathome。But,ofcourse,theywon’t。“

Mrs。PaleyconceivedacertaingrudgeagainstRidley,whoseemedtobecriticisingherhabitsafteranacquaintanceoffiveminutes。

“Ibelieveinforeigntravelmyself,“shestated,“ifoneknowsone’snativeland,whichIthinkIcanhonestlysayIdo。IshouldnotallowanyonetotraveluntiltheyhadvisitedKentandDorsetshire——

Kentforthehops,andDorsetshireforitsoldstonecottages。

Thereisnothingtocomparewiththemhere。“

“Yes——Ialwaysthinkthatsomepeopleliketheflatandotherpeoplelikethedowns,“saidMrs。Elliotrathervaguely。

Hirst,whohadbeeneatinganddrinkingwithoutinterruption,nowlitacigarette,andobserved,“Oh,butwe’reallagreedbythistimethatnature’samistake。She’seitherveryugly,appallinglyuncomfortable,orabsolutelyterrifying。Idon’tknowwhichalarmsmemost——acoworatree。Ioncemetacowinafieldbynight。

Thecreaturelookedatme。Iassureyouitturnedmyhairgrey。

It’sadisgracethattheanimalsshouldbeallowedtogoatlarge。“

“Andwhatdidthecowthinkof_him_?“VenningmumbledtoSusan,whoimmediatelydecidedinherownmindthatMr。Hirstwasadreadfulyoungman,andthatalthoughhehadsuchanairofbeingcleverheprobablywasn’tascleverasArthur,inthewaysthatreallymatter。

“Wasn’titWildewhodiscoveredthefactthatnaturemakesnoallowanceforhip-bones?“enquiredHughlingElliot。HeknewbythistimeexactlywhatscholarshipsanddistinctionHirstenjoyed,andhadformedaveryhighopinionofhiscapacities。

ButHirstmerelydrewhislipstogetherverytightlyandmadenoreply。

Ridleyconjecturedthatitwasnowpermissibleforhimtotakehisleave。PolitenessrequiredhimtothankMrs。Elliotforhistea,andtoadd,withawaveofhishand,“Youmustcomeupandseeus。“

ThewaveincludedbothHirstandHewet,andHewetanswered,“Ishouldlikeitimmensely。“

Thepartybrokeup,andSusan,whohadneverfeltsohappyinherlife,wasjustabouttostartforherwalkinthetownwithArthur,whenMrs。Paleybeckonedherback。ShecouldnotunderstandfromthebookhowDoubleDemonpatienceisplayed;andsuggestedthatiftheysatdownandworkeditouttogetheritwouldfillupthetimenicelybeforedinner。

AmongthepromiseswhichMrs。Ambrosehadmadehernieceshouldshestaywasaroomcutofffromtherestofthehouse,large,private——

aroominwhichshecouldplay,read,think,defytheworld,afortressaswellasasanctuary。Rooms,sheknew,becamemorelikeworldsthanroomsattheageoftwenty-four。Herjudgmentwascorrect,andwhensheshutthedoorRachelenteredanenchantedplace,wherethepoetssangandthingsfellintotheirrightproportions。

Somedaysafterthevisionofthehotelbynightshewassittingalone,sunkinanarm-chair,readingabrightly-coveredredvolumeletteredontheback_Works__of__Henrik__Ibsen_。Musicwasopenonthepiano,andbooksofmusicroseintwojaggedpillarsonthefloor;

butforthemomentmusicwasdeserted。

Farfromlookingboredorabsent-minded,hereyeswereconcentratedalmoststernlyuponthepage,andfromherbreathing,whichwasslowbutrepressed,itcouldbeseenthatherwholebodywasconstrainedbytheworkingofhermind。Atlastsheshutthebooksharply,layback,anddrewadeepbreath,expressiveofthewonderwhichalwaysmarksthetransitionfromtheimaginaryworldtotherealworld。

“WhatIwanttoknow,“shesaidaloud,“isthis:Whatisthetruth?

What’sthetruthofitall?“Shewasspeakingpartlyasherself,andpartlyastheheroineoftheplayshehadjustread。

Thelandscapeoutside,becauseshehadseennothingbutprintforthespaceoftwohours,nowappearedamazinglysolidandclear,butalthoughthereweremenonthehillwashingthetrunksofolivetreeswithawhiteliquid,forthemomentsheherselfwasthemostvividthinginit——anheroicstatueinthemiddleoftheforeground,dominatingtheview。Ibsen’splaysalwaysleftherinthatcondition。

Sheactedthemfordaysatatime,greatlytoHelen’samusement;

andthenitwouldbeMeredith’sturnandshebecameDianaoftheCrossways。ButHelenwasawarethatitwasnotallacting,andthatsomesortofchangewastakingplaceinthehumanbeing。

WhenRachelbecametiredoftherigidityofherposeonthebackofthechair,sheturnedround,slidcomfortablydownintoit,andgazedoutoverthefurniturethroughthewindowoppositewhichopenedonthegarden。(HermindwanderedawayfromNora,butshewentonthinkingofthingsthatthebooksuggestedtoher,ofwomenandlife。)

Duringthethreemonthsshehadbeenhereshehadmadeupconsiderably,asHelenmeantsheshould,fortimespentininterminablewalksroundshelteredgardens,andthehouseholdgossipofheraunts。

ButMrs。Ambrosewouldhavebeenthefirsttodisclaimanyinfluence,orindeedanybeliefthattoinfluencewaswithinherpower。

Shesawherlessshy,andlessserious,whichwasalltothegood,andtheviolentleapsandtheinterminablemazeswhichhadledtothatresultwereusuallynotevenguessedatbyher。Talkwasthemedicineshetrustedto,talkabouteverything,talkthatwasfree,unguarded,andascandidasahabitoftalkingwithmenmadenaturalinherowncase。Nordidsheencouragethosehabitsofunselfishnessandamiabilityfoundeduponinsinceritywhichareputatsohighavalueinmixedhouseholdsofmenandwomen。

ShedesiredthatRachelshouldthink,andforthisreasonofferedbooksanddiscouragedtooentireadependenceuponBachandBeethovenandWagner。ButwhenMrs。AmbrosewouldhavesuggestedDefoe,Maupassant,orsomespaciouschronicleoffamilylife,Rachelchosemodernbooks,booksinshinyyellowcovers,bookswithagreatdealofgildingontheback,whichweretokensinheraunt’seyesofharshwranglinganddisputesaboutfactswhichhadnosuchimportanceasthemodernsclaimedforthem。Butshedidnotinterfere。

Rachelreadwhatshechose,readingwiththecuriousliteralnessofonetowhomwrittensentencesareunfamiliar,andhandlingwordsasthoughtheyweremadeofwood,separatelyofgreatimportance,andpossessedofshapesliketablesorchairs。Inthiswayshecametoconclusions,whichhadtoberemodelledaccordingtotheadventuresoftheday,andwereindeedrecastasliberallyasanyonecoulddesire,leavingalwaysasmallgrainofbeliefbehindthem。

IbsenwassucceededbyanovelsuchasMrs。Ambrosedetested,whosepurposewastodistributetheguiltofawoman’sdownfallupontherightshoulders;apurposewhichwasachieved,ifthereader’sdiscomfortwereanyproofofit。Shethrewthebookdown,lookedoutofthewindow,turnedawayfromthewindow,andrelapsedintoanarm-chair。

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