第12章

Dr。Archieswungroundinhischairandlookedather，honestlyandleniently。"Well，Thea，itseemstomelikethis。Everypeoplehashaditsreligion。Allreligionsaregood，andallareprettymuchalike。ButIdon’tseehowwecouldliveuptotheminthesenseyoumean。I’vethoughtaboutitagooddeal，andIcan’thelpfeelingthatwhileweareinthisworldwehavetoliveforthebestthingsofthisworld，andthosethingsarematerialandpositive。Now，mostreligionsarepassive，andtheytelluschieflywhatweshouldnotdo。"Thedoctormovedrestlessly，andhiseyeshuntedforsomethingalongtheoppositewall："Seehere，mygirl，takeouttheyearsofearlychildhoodandthetimewespendinsleepanddulloldage，andweonlyhaveabouttwentyable，wakingyears。That’snotlongenoughtogetacquaintedwithhalfthefinethingsthathavebeendoneintheworld，muchlesstodoanythingourselves。IthinkweoughttokeeptheCommandmentsandhelpotherpeopleallwecan；butthemainthingistolivethose

twentysplendidyears；todoallwecanandenjoyallwecan。"

Dr。Archiemethislittlefriend’ssearchinggaze，thelookofacuteinquirywhichalwaystouchedhim。

"Butpoorfellowslikethattramp——"shehesitatedandwrinkledherforehead。

Thedoctorleanedforwardandputhishandprotect—

inglyoverhers，whichlayclenchedonthegreenfeltdesk—

top。"Uglyaccidentshappen，Thea；alwayshaveandalwayswill。Butthefailuresaresweptbackintothepileandforgotten。Theydon’tleaveanylastingscarintheworld，andtheydon’taffectthefuture。Thethingsthatlastarethegoodthings。Thepeoplewhoforgeaheadanddosomething，theyreallycount。"Hesawtearsonhercheeks，andherememberedthathehadneverseenhercrybefore，notevenwhenshecrushedherfingerwhenshewaslittle。Heroseandwalkedtothewindow，camebackandsatdownontheedgeofhischair。

"Forgetthetramp，Thea。Thisisagreatbigworld，andIwantyoutogetaboutandseeitall。You’regoingtoChicagosomeday，anddosomethingwiththatfinevoiceofyours。You’regoingtobeanumberonemusicianandmakeusproudofyou。TakeMaryAnderson，now；eventhetrampsareproudofher。Thereisn’tatrampalongthe`Q’

systemwhohasn’theardofher。Wealllikepeoplewhodothings，evenifweonlyseetheirfacesonacigar—boxlid。"

Theyhadalongtalk。TheafeltthatDr。Archiehadneverlethimselfouttohersomuchbefore。Itwasthemostgrown—upconversationshehadeverhadwithhim。

Shelefthisofficehappy，flatteredandstimulated。Sheranforalongwhileaboutthewhite，moonlitstreets，lookingupatthestarsandthebluishnight，atthequiethousessunkinblackshade，theglitteringsandhills。Shelovedthefamiliartrees，andthepeopleinthoselittlehouses，andshelovedtheunknownworldbeyondDenver。Shefeltasifshewerebeingpulledintwo，betweenthedesiretogo

awayforeverandthedesiretostayforever。Shehadonlytwentyyears——notimetolose。

ManyanightthatsummersheleftDr。Archie’sofficewithadesiretorunandrunaboutthosequietstreetsuntilsheworeouthershoes，orworeoutthestreetsthemselves；

whenherchestachedanditseemedasifherheartwerespreadingalloverthedesert。Whenshewenthome，itwasnottogotosleep。Sheusedtodraghermattressbesideherlowwindowandlieawakeforalongwhile，vibratingwithexcitement，asamachinevibratesfromspeed。Liferushedinuponherthroughthatwindow——orsoitseemed。

Inreality，ofcourse，liferushesfromwithin，notfromwith—

out。Thereisnoworkofartsobigorsobeautifulthatitwasnotonceallcontainedinsomeyouthfulbody，likethisonewhichlayonthefloorinthemoonlight，pulsingwithardorandanticipation。ItwasonsuchnightsthatTheaKronborglearnedthethingthatoldDumasmeantwhenhetoldtheRomanticiststhattomakeadramaheneededbutonepassionandfourwalls。

XIX

Itiswellforitspeaceofmindthatthetravelingpublictakesrailroadssomuchforgranted。Theonlymenwhoareincurablynervousaboutrailwaytravelaretherailroadoperatives。Arailroadmanneverforgetsthatthenextrunmaybehisturn。

Onasingle—trackroad，likethatuponwhichRayKen—

nedyworked，thefreighttrainsmaketheirwayasbesttheycanbetweenpassengertrains。Evenwhenthereissuchathingasafreighttime—schedule，itismerelyaform。Alongtheonetrackdozensoffastandslowtrainsdashinbothdirections，keptfromcollisiononlybythebrainsinthedispatcher’soffice。Ifonepassengertrainislate，thewholeschedulemustberevisedinaninstant；thetrainsfollowingmustbewarned，andthosemovingtowardthebelatedtrainmustbeassignednewmeeting—places。

Betweentheshiftsandmodificationsofthepassengerschedule，thefreighttrainsplayagameoftheirown。Theyhavenorighttothetrackatanygiventime，butaresup—

posedtobeonitwhenitisfree，andtomakethebesttimetheycanbetweenpassengertrains。Afreighttrain，onasingle—trackroad，getsanywhereatallonlybystealingbases。

RayKennedyhadstucktothefreightservice，althoughhehadhadopportunitiestogointothepassengerserviceathigherpay。Healwaysregardedrailroadingasatempo—

rarymakeshift，untilhe"gotintosomething，"andhedis—

likedthepassengerservice。Nobrassbuttonsforhim，hesaid；toomuchlikealivery。Whilehewasrailroadinghewouldwearajumper，thankyou！

Thewreckthat"caught"Raywasaverycommonplaceone；nothingthrillingaboutit，anditgotonlysixlinesin

theDenverpapers。Ithappenedaboutdaybreakonemorning，onlythirty—twomilesfromhome。

Atfouro’clockinthemorningRay’strainhadstoppedtotakewateratSaxony，havingjustroundedthelongcurvewhichliessouthofthatstation。ItwasJoeGiddy’sbusinesstowalkbackalongthecurveaboutthreehundredyardsandputouttorpedoestowarnanytrainwhichmightbecomingupfrombehind——afreightcrewisnotnotifiedoftrainsfollowing，andthebrakemanissupposedtoprotecthistrain。Raywassofussyaboutthepunctiliousobserv—

anceofordersthatalmostanybrakemanwouldtakeachanceonceinawhile，fromnaturalperversity。

Whenthetrainstoppedforwaterthatmorning，Raywasatthedeskinhiscaboose，makingouthisreport。

Giddytookhistorpedoes，swungofftherearplatform，andglancedbackatthecurve。Hedecidedthathewouldnotgobacktoflagthistime。Ifanythingwascomingupbe—

hind，hecouldhearitinplentyoftime。Soheranforwardtolookafterahotjournalthathadbeenbotheringhim。

Inageneralway，Giddy’sreasoningwassound。Ifafreighttrain，orevenapassengertrain，hadbeencomingupbehindthem，hecouldhavehearditintime。Butasithappened，alightengine，whichmadenonoiseatall，wascoming，——

orderedouttohelpwiththefreightthatwaspilingupattheotherendofthedivision。Thisenginegotnowarning，cameroundthecurve，struckthecaboose，wentstraightthroughit，andcrashedintotheheavylumbercarahead。

TheKronborgswerejustsittingdowntobreakfast，whenthenighttelegraphoperatordashedintotheyardatarunandhammeredonthefrontdoor。Gunneransweredtheknock，andthetelegraphoperatortoldhimhewantedtoseehisfatheraminute，quick。Mr。Kronborgappearedatthedoor，napkininhand。Theoperatorwaspaleandpanting。

"FourteenwaswreckeddownatSaxonythismorning，"

heshouted，"andKennedy’sallbrokeup。We’resendinganenginedownwiththedoctor，andtheoperatoratSaxonysaysKennedywantsyoutocomealongwithusandbringyourgirl。"Hestoppedforbreath。

Mr。Kronborgtookoffhisglassesandbeganrubbingthemwithhisnapkin。

"Bring——Idon’tunderstand，"hemuttered。"Howdidthishappen？"

"Notimeforthat，sir。Gettingtheengineoutnow。

Yourgirl，Thea。You’llsurelydothatforthepoorchap。

Everybodyknowshethinkstheworldofher。"SeeingthatMr。Kronborgshowednoindicationofhavingmadeuphismind，theoperatorturnedtoGunner。"Callyoursister，kid。I’mgoingtoaskthegirlherself，"heblurtedout。

"Yes，yes，certainly。Daughter，"Mr。Kronborgcalled。

Hehadsomewhatrecoveredhimselfandreachedtothehallhatrackforhishat。

JustasTheacameoutonthefrontporch，beforetheoperatorhadhadtimetoexplaintoher，Dr。Archie’sponiescameuptothegateatabrisktrot。Archiejumpedoutthemomenthisdriverstoppedtheteamandcameuptothebewilderedgirlwithoutsomuchassayinggood—morn—

ingtoanyone。Hetookherhandwiththesympathetic，reassuringgravenesswhichhadhelpedheratmorethanonehardtimeinherlife。"Getyourhat，mygirl。Ken—

nedy’shurtdowntheroad，andhewantsyoutorundownwithme。They’llhaveacarforus。Getintomybuggy，Mr。Kronborg。I’lldriveyoudown，andLarrycancomefortheteam。"

ThedriverjumpedoutofthebuggyandMr。Kronborgandthedoctorgotin。Thea，stillbewildered，satonherfa—

ther’sknee。Dr。Archiegavehisponiesasmartcutwiththewhip。

Whentheyreachedthedepot，theengine，withonecarattached，wasstandingonthemaintrack。Theengineerhadgothissteamup，andwasleaningoutofthecabim—

patiently。Inamomenttheywereoff。TheruntoSaxonytookfortyminutes。TheasatstillinherseatwhileDr。

Archieandherfathertalkedaboutthewreck。Shetooknopartintheconversationandaskednoquestions，butoccasionallyshelookedatDr。Archiewithafrightened，inquiringglance，whichheansweredbyanencouragingnod。NeitherhenorherfathersaidanythingabouthowbadlyRaywashurt。WhentheenginestoppednearSaxony，themaintrackwasalreadycleared。Astheygotoutofthecar，Dr。Archiepointedtoapileofties。

"Thea，you’dbettersitdownhereandwatchthewreckcrewwhileyourfatherandIgoupandlookKennedyover。

I’llcomebackforyouwhenIgethimfixedup。"

Thetwomenwentoffupthesandgulch，andTheasatdownandlookedatthepileofsplinteredwoodandtwistedironthathadlatelybeenRay’scaboose。Shewasfright—

enedandabsent—minded。ShefeltthatsheoughttobethinkingaboutRay，buthermindkeptracingofftoallsortsoftrivialandirrelevantthings。ShewonderedwhetherGraceJohnsonwouldbefuriouswhenshecametotakehermusiclessonandfoundnobodytheretogiveittoher；

whethershehadforgottentoclosethepianolastnightandwhetherThorwouldgetintothenewroomandmessthekeysallupwithhisstickyfingers；whetherTilliewouldgoupstairsandmakeherbedforher。Hermindworkedfast，butshecouldfixituponnothing。Thegrasshoppers，thelizards，distractedherattentionandseemedmorerealtoherthanpoorRay。

OntheirwaytothesandbankwhereRayhadbeencar—

ried，Dr。ArchieandMr。KronborgmettheSaxonydoctor。

Heshookhandswiththem。

"Nothingyoucando，doctor。Icouldn’tcountthefractures。Hisback’sbroken，too。Hewouldn’tbealivenowifheweren’tsoconfoundedlystrong，poorchap。Nousebotheringhim。I’vegivenhimmorphia，oneandahalf，ineighths。"

Dr。Archiehurriedon。Raywaslyingonaflatcanvaslitter，undertheshelterofashelvingbank，lightlyshadedbyaslendercottonwoodtree。Whenthedoctorandthepreacherapproached，helookedatthemintently。

"Didn’t——"heclosedhiseyestohidehisbitterdisap—

pointment。

Dr。Archieknewwhatwasthematter。"Thea’sbackthere，Ray。I’llbringherassoonasI’vehadalookatyou。"

Raylookedup。"Youmightcleanmeupatrifle，doc。

Won’tneedyouforanythingelse，thankyouallthesame。"

Howeverlittletherewasleftofhim，thatlittlewascer—

tainlyRayKennedy。Hispersonalitywasaspositiveasever，andthebloodanddirtonhisfaceseemedmerelyaccidental，tohavenothingtodowiththemanhimself。

Dr。ArchietoldMr。Kronborgtobringapailofwater，andhebegantospongeRay’sfaceandneck。Mr。Kronborgstoodby，nervouslyrubbinghishandstogetherandtryingtothinkofsomethingtosay。Serioussituationsalwaysembarrassedhimandmadehimformal，evenwhenhefeltrealsympathy。

"Intimeslikethis，Ray，"hebroughtoutatlast，crum—

plinguphishandkerchiefinhislongfingers，——"intimeslikethis，wedon’twanttoforgettheFriendthatstickethcloserthanabrother。"

Raylookedupathim；alonely，disconsolatesmileplayedoverhismouthandhissquarecheeks。"Nevermindaboutallthat，PADRE，"hesaidquietly。"Christandmefelloutlongago。"

Therewasamomentofsilence。ThenRaytookpityonMr。Kronborg’sembarrassment。"Yougobackforthelittlegirl，PADRE。Iwantawordwiththedocinprivate。"

RaytalkedtoDr。Archieforafewmoments，thenstoppedsuddenly，withabroadsmile。Overthedoctor’sshoulderhesawTheacomingupthegulch，inherpinkchambraydress，carryinghersun—hatbythestrings。Suchayellowhead！Heoftentoldhimselfthathe"wasper—

fectlyfoolishaboutherhair。"Thesightofher，coming，wentthroughhimsoftly，likethemorphia。"Theresheis，"hewhispered。"Gettheoldpreacheroutoftheway，doc。Iwanttohavealittletalkwithher。"

Dr。Archielookedup。Theawashurryingandyethang—

ingback。Shewasmorefrightenedthanhehadthoughtshewouldbe。Shehadgonewithhimtoseeverysickpeopleandhadalwaysbeensteadyandcalm。Asshecameup，shelookedattheground，andhecouldseethatshehadbeencrying。

RayKennedymadeanunsuccessfulefforttoputouthishand。"Hello，littlekid，nothingtobeafraidof。DarnedifIdon’tbelievethey’vegoneandscaredyou！Nothingtocryabout。I’mthesameoldgoods，onlyalittledented。

Sitdownonmycoatthere，andkeepmecompany。I’vegottolaystillabit。"

Dr。ArchieandMr。Kronborgdisappeared。Theacastatimidglanceafterthem，butshesatdownresolutelyandtookRay’shand。

"Youain’tscarednow，areyou？"heaskedaffection—

ately。"Youwerearegularbricktocome，Thee。Didyougetanybreakfast？"

"No，Ray，I’mnotscared。OnlyI’mdreadfulsorryyou’rehurt，andIcan’thelpcrying。"

Hisbroad，earnestface，languidfromtheopiumandsmilingwithsuchsimplehappiness，reassuredher。Shedrewnearertohimandliftedhishandtoherknee。Helookedatherwithhisclear，shallowblueeyes。Howhelovedeverythingaboutthatfaceandhead！Howmanynightsinhiscupola，lookingupthetrack，hehadseenthatfaceinthedarkness；throughthesleetandsnow，orinthesoftblueairwhenthemoonlightsleptonthedesert。

"Youneedn’tbothertotalk，Thee。Thedoctor’smedi—

cinemakesmesortofdopey。Butit’snicetohavecom—

pany。Kindofcozy，don’tyouthink？Pullmycoatunderyoumore。It’sadarnedshameIcan’twaitonyou。"

"No，no，Ray。I’mallright。Yes，Ilikeithere。AndI

guessyououghtnottotalkmuch，oughtyou？Ifyoucansleep，I’llstayrighthere，andbeawfulquiet。Ifeeljustasmuchathomewithyouasever，now。"

Thatsimple，humble，faithfulsomethinginRay’seyeswentstraighttoThea’sheart。Shedidfeelcomfortablewithhim，andhappytogivehimsomuchhappiness。Itwasthefirsttimeshehadeverbeenconsciousofthatpowertobestowintensehappinessbysimplybeingnearanyone。

Shealwaysrememberedthisdayasthebeginningofthatknowledge。Shebentoverhimandputherlipssoftlytohischeek。

Ray’seyesfilledwithlight。"Oh，dothatagain，kid！"

hesaidimpulsively。Theakissedhimontheforehead，blushingfaintly。Rayheldherhandfastandclosedhiseyeswithadeepsighofhappiness。Themorphiaandthesenseofhernearnessfilledhimwithcontent。Thegoldmine，theoilwell，thecopperledge——allpipedreams，hemused，andthiswasadream，too。Hemighthaveknownitbefore。

Ithadalwaysbeenlikethat；thethingsheadmiredhadalwaysbeenawayoutofhisreach：acollegeeducation，agentleman’smanner，anEnglishman’saccent——thingsoverhishead。AndTheawasfartheroutofhisreachthanalltherestputtogether。Hehadbeenafooltoimagineit，buthewasgladhehadbeenafool。Shehadgivenhimonegranddream。Everymileofhisrun，fromMoonstonetoDenver，waspaintedwiththecolorsofthathope。Everycactusknewaboutit。Butnowthatitwasnottobe，heknewthetruth。Theawasnevermeantforanyroughfellowlikehim——hadn’thereallyknownthatallalong，heaskedhimself？Shewasn’tmeantforcommonmen。Shewaslikeweddingcake，athingtodreamon。Heraisedhiseye—

lidsalittle。Shewasstrokinghishandandlookingoffintothedistance。HefeltinherfacethatlookofunconsciouspowerthatWunschhadseenthere。Yes，shewasboundforthebigterminalsoftheworld；nowaystationsforher。His

lidsdrooped。Inthedarkhecouldseeherasshewouldbeafterawhile；inaboxattheTaborGrandinDenver，withdiamondsonherneckandatiarainheryellowhair，withallthepeoplelookingatherthroughtheiropera—glasses，andaUnitedStatesSenator，maybe，talkingtoher。"Thenyou’llrememberme！"Heopenedhiseyes，andtheywerefulloftears。

Thealeanedcloser。"Whatdidyousay，Ray？Icouldn’thear。"

"Thenyou’llrememberme，"hewhispered。

Thesparkinhiseye，whichisone’sveryself，caughtthesparkinhersthatwasherself，andforamomenttheylookedintoeachother’snatures。Thearealizedhowgoodandhowgreat—heartedhewas，andherealizedabouthermanythings。Whenthatelusivesparkofpersonalityre—

treatedineachofthem，Theastillsawinhisweteyesherownface，verysmall，butmuchprettierthanthecrackedglassathomehadevershownit。Itwasthefirsttimeshehadseenherfaceinthatkindestmirrorawomancaneverfind。

RayhadfeltthingsinthatmomentwhenheseemedtobelookingintotheverysoulofTheaKronborg。Yes，thegoldmine，theoilwell，thecopperledge，they’dallgotawayfromhim，asthingswill；buthe’dbackedawinneronceinhislife！Withallhismighthegavehisfaithtothebroadlittlehandheheld。Hewishedhecouldleavehertheruggedstrengthofhisbodytohelpherthroughwithitall。Hewouldhavelikedtotellheralittleabouthisolddream，——thereseemedlongyearsbetweenhimandital—

ready，——buttotellhernowwouldsomehowbeunfair；

wouldn’tbequitethestraightestthingintheworld。

Probablysheknew，anyway。Helookedupquickly。"Youknow，don’tyou，Thee，thatIthinkyouarejustthefinestthingI’vestruckinthisworld？"

ThetearsrandownThea’scheeks。"You’retoogoodtome，Ray。You’realottoogoodtome，"shefaltered。

"Why，kid，"hemurmured，"everybodyinthisworld’sgoingtobegoodtoyou！"

Dr。Archiecametothegulchandstoodoverhispatient。

"How’sitgoing？"

"Can’tyougivemeanotherpunchwithyourpacifier，doc？Thelittlegirlhadbetterrunalongnow。"Rayre—

leasedThea’shand。"Seeyoulater，Thee。"

Shegotupandmovedawayaimlessly，carryingherhatbythestrings。Raylookedafterherwiththeexaltationbornofbodilypainandsaidbetweenhisteeth，"Alwayslookafterthatgirl，doc。She’saqueen！"

TheaandherfatherwentbacktoMoonstoneontheone—o’clockpassenger。Dr。ArchiestayedwithRayKen—

nedyuntilhedied，lateintheafternoon。

XX

OnMondaymorning，thedayafterRayKennedy’sfuneral，Dr。ArchiecalledatMr。Kronborg’sstudy，alittleroombehindthechurch。Mr。Kronborgdidnotwriteouthissermons，butspokefromnotesjotteduponsmallpiecesofcardboardinakindofshorthandofhisown。

Assermonsgo，theywerenotworsethanmost。Hiscon—

ventionalrhetoricpleasedthemajorityofhiscongregation，andMr。Kronborgwasgenerallyregardedasamodelpreacher。Hedidnotsmoke，henevertouchedspirits。Hisindulgenceinthepleasuresofthetablewasanendearingbondbetweenhimandthewomenofhiscongregation。

Heateenormously，withazestwhichseemedincongruouswithhisspareframe。

Thismorningthedoctorfoundhimopeninghismailandreadingapileofadvertisingcircularswithdeepattention。

"Good—morning，Mr。Kronborg，"saidDr。Archie，sit—

tingdown。"Icametoseeyouonbusiness。PoorKennedyaskedmetolookafterhisaffairsforhim。Likemostrail—

roadmenhespenthiswages，exceptforafewinvest—

mentsinmineswhichdon’tlooktomeverypromising。

ButhislifewasinsuredforsixhundreddollarsinThea’sfavor。"

Mr。Kronborgwoundhisfeetaboutthestandardofhisdesk—chair。"Iassureyou，doctor，thisisacompletesur—

prisetome。"

"Well，it’snotverysurprisingtome，"Dr。Archiewenton。"Hetalkedtomeaboutitthedayhewashurt。Hesaidhewantedthemoneytobeusedinaparticularway，andinnoother。"Dr。Archiepausedmeaningly。

Mr。Kronborgfidgeted。"IamsureTheawouldobservehiswishesineveryrespect。"

"Nodoubt；buthewantedmetoseethatyouagreedtohisplan。ItseemsthatforsometimeTheahaswantedtogoawaytostudymusic。ItwasKennedy’swishthatsheshouldtakethismoneyandgotoChicagothiswinter。Hefeltthatitwouldbeanadvantagetoherinabusinessway：

thatevenifshecamebackheretoteach，itwouldgivehermoreauthorityandmakeherpositionheremorecom—

fortable。"

Mr。Kronborglookedalittlestartled。"Sheisveryyoung，"hehesitated；"sheisbarelyseventeen。Chicagoisalongwayfromhome。Wewouldhavetoconsider。I

think，Dr。Archie，wehadbetterconsultMrs。Kronborg。"

"IthinkIcanbringMrs。Kronborgaround，ifIhaveyourconsent。I’vealwaysfoundherprettylevel—headed。

IhaveseveraloldclassmatespracticinginChicago。Oneisathroatspecialist。Hehasagooddealtodowithsingers。

Heprobablyknowsthebestpianoteachersandcouldre—

commendaboarding—housewheremusicstudentsstay。I

thinkTheaneedstogetamongalotofyoungpeoplewhoarecleverlikeherself。Hereshehasnocompanionsbutoldfellowslikeme。It’snotanaturallifeforayounggirl。