第19章

"Aren’tyougoingtosing，Silvo？"sheaskedteasingly。

Theboyturnedonhissideandraisedhimselfonhiselbowforamoment。"Notthisnight，SENORITA，"hepleadedsoftly，"notthisnight！"Hedroppedbackagain，andlaywithhischeekonhisrightarm，thehandlyingpassiveonthesandabovehishead。

"Howdoesheflattenhimselfintothegroundlikethat？"

Theaaskedherself。"IwishIknew。It’sveryeffective，somehow。"

AcrossthegulchtheKohlers’littlehousesleptamongitstrees，adarkspotonthewhitefaceofthedesert。Thewindowsoftheirupstairsbedroomwereopen，andPaulinahadlistenedtothedancemusicforalongwhilebeforeshedrowsedoff。Shewasalightsleeper，andwhenshewokeagain，aftermidnight，Johnny’sconcertwasatitsheight。

Shelaystilluntilshecouldbearitnolonger。ThenshewakenedFritzandtheywentovertothewindowandleanedout。Theycouldhearclearlythere。

"DIETHEA，"whisperedMrs。Kohler；"itmustbe。ACH，WUNDERSCHON！"

Fritzwasnotsowideawakeashiswife。Hegruntedand

scratchedonthefloorwithhisbarefoot。Theywerelis—

teningtoaMexicanpart—song；thetenor，thenthesoprano，thenbothtogether；thebarytonejoinsthem，rages，isextinguished；thetenorexpiresinsobs，andthesopranofinishesalone。Whenthesoprano’slastnotediedaway，Fritznoddedtohiswife。"JA，"hesaid；"SCHON。"

Therewassilenceforafewmoments。Thentheguitarsoundedfiercely，andseveralmalevoicesbeganthesextettefrom"Lucia。"Johnny’sreedytenortheyknewwell，andthebricklayer’sbig，opaquebarytone；theothersmightbeanybodyoverthere——justMexicanvoices。Thenattheappointed，attheacute，moment，thesopranovoice，likeafountainjet，shotupintothelight。"HORCH！HORCH！"theoldpeoplewhispered，bothatonce。Howitleapedfromamongthoseduskymalevoices！Howitplayedinandaboutandaroundandoverthem，likeagoldfishdartingamongcreekminnows，likeayellowbutterflysoaringaboveaswarmofdarkones。"Ah，"saidMrs。Kohlersoftly，"thedearman；ifhecouldhearhernow！"

XI

MRS。KRONBORGhadsaidthatTheawasnottobedisturbedonSundaymorning，andshesleptuntilnoon。Whenshecamedownstairsthefamilywerejustsittingdowntodinner，Mr。Kronborgatoneendofthelongtable，Mrs。Kronborgattheother。Anna，stiffandceremonious，inhersummersilk，satatherfather’sright，andtheboyswerestrungalongoneithersideofthetable。

TherewasaplaceleftforTheabetweenhermotherandThor。Duringthesilencewhichprecededtheblessing，Theafeltsomethinguncomfortableintheair。Annaandherolderbrothershadloweredtheireyeswhenshecamein。Mrs。Kronborgnoddedcheerfully，andafterthebless—

ing，asshebegantopourthecoffee，turnedtoher。

"Iexpectyouhadagoodtimeatthatdance，Thea。I

hopeyougotyoursleepout。"

"Highsociety，that，"remarkedCharley，givingthemashedpotatoesaviciousswat。Anna’smouthandeye—

browsbecamehalf—moons。

Thealookedacrossthetableattheuncompromisingcountenancesofherolderbrothers。"Why，what’sthematterwiththeMexicans？"sheasked，flushing。"Theydon’ttroubleanybody，andtheyarekindtotheirfamiliesandhavegoodmanners。"

"Nicecleanpeople；gotsomestyleaboutthem。Doyoureallylikethatkind，Thea，ordoyoujustpretendto？

That’swhatI’dliketoknow。"Guslookedatherwithpainedinquiry。Butheatleastlookedather。

"They’rejustascleanaswhitepeople，andtheyhaveaperfectrighttotheirownways。OfcourseIlike’em。

Idon’tpretendthings。"

"Everybodyaccordingtotheirowntaste，"remarked

Charleybitterly。"Quitcrumbingyourbreadup，Thor。

Ain’tyoulearnedhowtoeatyet？"

"Children，children！"saidMr。Kronborgnervously，lookingupfromthechickenhewasdismembering。Heglancedathiswife，whomheexpectedtomaintainhar—

monyinthefamily。

"That’sallright，Charley。Dropitthere，"saidMrs。

Kronborg。"NousespoilingyourSundaydinnerwithraceprejudices。TheMexicanssuitmeandTheaverywell。Theyareausefulpeople。Nowyoucanjusttalkaboutsomethingelse。"

Conversation，however，didnotflourishatthatdinner。

Everybodyateasfastaspossible。CharleyandGussaidtheyhadengagementsandleftthetableassoonastheyfinishedtheirapplepie。Annasatprimlyandatewithgreatelegance。Whenshespokeatallshespoketoherfather，aboutchurchmatters，andalwaysinacommiserat—

ingtone，asifhehadmetwithsomemisfortune。Mr。

Kronborg，quiteinnocentofherintentions，repliedkindlyandabsent—mindedly。AfterthedesserthewenttotakehisusualSundayafternoonnap，andMrs。Kronborgcarriedsomedinnertoasickneighbor。TheaandAnnabegantoclearthetable。

"Ishouldthinkyouwouldshowmoreconsiderationforfather’sposition，Thea，"Annabeganassoonassheandhersisterwerealone。

Theagaveherasidelongglance。"Why，whathaveI

donetofather？"

"EverybodyatSunday—SchoolwastalkingaboutyougoingoverthereandsingingwiththeMexicansallnight，whenyouwon’tsingforthechurch。Somebodyheardyou，andtolditallovertown。Ofcourse，weallgettheblameforit。"

"Anythingdisgracefulaboutsinging？"Theaaskedwithaprovokingyawn。

"Imustsayyouchooseyourcompany！Youalways

hadthatstreakinyou，Thea。Weallhopedthatgoingawaywouldimproveyou。Ofcourse，itreflectsonfatherwhenyouarescarcelypolitetothenicepeoplehereandmakeuptotherowdies。"

"Oh，it’smysingingwiththeMexicansyouobjectto？"

Theaputdownatrayfullofdishes。"Well，Iliketosingoverthere，andIdon’tliketooverhere。I’llsingforthemanytimetheyaskmeto。TheyknowsomethingaboutwhatI’mdoing。They’reatalentedpeople。"

"Talented！"Annamadethewordsoundlikeescapingsteam。"Isupposeyouthinkit’ssmarttocomehomeandthrowthatatyourfamily！"

Theapickedupthetray。BythistimeshewasaswhiteastheSundaytablecloth。"Well，"sherepliedinacold，eventone，"I’llhavetothrowitatthemsoonerorlater。

It’sjustaquestionofwhen，anditmightaswellbenowasanytime。"Shecarriedthetrayblindlyintothekitchen。

Tillie，whowasalwayslisteningandlookingoutforher，tookthedishesfromherwithafurtive，frightenedglanceatherstonyface。Theawentslowlyupthebackstairstoherloft。Herlegsseemedasheavyasleadassheclimbedthestairs，andshefeltasifeverythinginsideherhadsolidi—

fiedandgrownhard。

Aftershuttingherdoorandlockingit，shesatdownontheedgeofherbed。Thisplacehadalwaysbeenherrefuge，buttherewasahostilityinthehousenowwhichthisdoorcouldnotshutout。Thiswouldbeherlastsummerinthatroom。Itsserviceswereover；itstimewasdone。Sheroseandputherhandonthelowceiling。Twotearsrandownhercheeks，asiftheycamefromicethatmeltedslowly。

Shewasnotreadytoleaveherlittleshell。Shewasbeingpulledouttoosoon。Shewouldneverbeabletothinkanywhereelseaswellashere。Shewouldneversleepsowellorhavesuchdreamsinanyotherbed；evenlastnight，suchsweet，breathlessdreams——Theahidherfaceinthepillow。Wherevershewentshewouldliketotakethatlittle

bedwithher。Whenshewentawayfromitforgood，shewouldleavesomethingthatshecouldneverrecover；mem—

oriesofpleasantexcitement，ofhappyadventuresinhermind；ofwarmsleeponhowlingwinternights，andjoyousawakeningsonsummermornings。Therewerecertaindreamsthatmightrefusetocometoheratallexceptinalittlemorningcave，facingthesun——wheretheycametohersopowerfully，wheretheybeatatriumphinher！

Theroomwashotasanoven。Thesunwasbeatingfiercelyontheshinglesbehindtheboardceiling。Sheun—

dressed，andbeforeshethrewherselfuponherbedinherchemise，shefrownedatherselfforalongwhileinherlook—

ing—glass。Yes，sheandItmustfightitouttogether。Thethingthatlookedatheroutofherowneyeswastheonlyfriendshecouldcounton。Oh，shewouldmakethesepeoplesorryenough！Therewouldcomeatimewhentheywouldwanttomakeitupwithher。But，neveragain！Shehadnolittlevanities，onlyonebigone，andshewouldneverforgive。

Hermotherwasallright，buthermotherwasapartofthefamily，andshewasnot。Inthenatureofthings，hermotherhadtobeonbothsides。Theafeltthatshehadbeenbetrayed。Atrucehadbeenbrokenbehindherback。

ShehadneverhadmuchindividualaffectionforanyofherbrothersexceptThor，butshehadneverbeendisloyal，neverfeltscornorheldgrudges。AsalittlegirlshehadalwaysbeengoodfriendswithGunnerandAxel，whenevershehadtimetoplay。Evenbeforeshegotherownroom，whentheywereallsleepinganddressingtogether，likelittlecubs，andbreakfastinginthekitchen，shehadledanabsorbingpersonallifeofherown。Butshehadacubloyaltytotheothercubs。Shethoughtthemniceboysandtriedtomakethemgettheirlessons。Sheoncefoughtabullywho"pickedon"Axelatschool。ShenevermadefunofAnna’scrimpingsandcurlingsandbeauty—rites。

Theahadalwaystakenitforgrantedthathersisterand

brothersrecognizedthatshehadspecialabilities，andthattheywereproudofit。Shehaddonethemthehonor，shetoldherselfbitterly，tobelievethatthoughtheyhadnoparticularendowments，THEYWEREOFHERKIND，andnotoftheMoonstonekind。Nowtheyhadallgrownupandbe—

comepersons。Theyfacedeachotherasindividuals，andshesawthatAnnaandGusandCharleywereamongthepeoplewhomshehadalwaysrecognizedashernaturalenemies。Theirambitionsandsacredproprietiesweremeaninglesstoher。ShehadneglectedtocongratulateCharleyuponhavingbeenpromotedfromthegroceryde—

partmentofCommings’sstoretothedrygoodsdepart—

ment。Hermotherhadreprovedherforthisomission。Andhowwasshetoknow，Theaaskedherself，thatAnnaex—

pectedtobeteasedbecauseBertRicenowcameandsatinthehammockwithhereverynight？No，itwasallclearenough。Nothingthatshewouldeverdointheworldwouldseemimportanttothem，andnothingtheywouldeverdowouldseemimportanttoher。

Thealaythinkingintentlyallthroughthestiflingafter—

noon。Tilliewhisperedsomethingoutsideherdooronce，butshedidnotanswer。Shelayonherbeduntilthesecondchurchbellrang，andshesawthefamilygotroopingupthesidewalkontheoppositesideofthestreet，Annaandherfatherinthelead。Annaseemedtohavetakenonaverystory—bookattitudetowardherfather；pat—

ronizingandcondescending，itseemedtoThea。Theolderboyswerenotinthefamilyband。Theynowtooktheirgirlstochurch。Tilliehadstayedathometogetsupper。

Theagotup，washedherhotfaceandarms，andputonthewhiteorgandiedressshehadwornlastnight；itwasgettingtoosmallforher，andshemightaswellwearitout。

Aftershewasdressedsheunlockedherdoorandwentcau—

tiouslydownstairs。Shefeltasifchillinghostilitiesmightbeawaitingherinthetrunkloft，onthestairway，almostanywhere。Inthedining—roomshefoundTillie，sittingby

theopenwindow，readingthedramaticnewsinaDenverSundaypaper。Tilliekeptascrapbookinwhichshepastedclippingsaboutactorsandactresses。

"ComelookatthispictureofPaulineHallintights，Thea，"shecalled。"Ain’tshecute？It’stoobadyoudidn’tgotothetheatermorewhenyouwasinChicago；

suchagoodchance！Didn’tyouevengettoseeClaraMorrisorModjeska？"

"No；Ididn’thavetime。Besides，itcostsmoney，Tillie，"Thearepliedwearily，glancingatthepaperTillieheldouttoher。

Tillielookedupatherniece。"Don’tyougoandbeupsetaboutanyofAnna’snotions。She’soneofthesenarrowkind。Yourfatherandmotherdon’tpayanyatten—

tiontowhatshesays。Anna’sfussy；sheiswithme，butIdon’tmindher。"

"Oh，Idon’tmindher。That’sallright，Tillie。IguessI’lltakeawalk。"

TheaknewthatTilliehopedshewouldstayandtalktoherforawhile，andshewouldhavelikedtopleaseher。

Butinahouseassmallasthatone，everythingwastoointimateandmixeduptogether。Thefamilywasthefamily，anintegralthing。Onecouldn’tdiscussAnnathere。

Shefeltdifferentlytowardthehouseandeverythinginit，asifthebatteredoldfurniturethatseemedsokindly，andtheoldcarpetsonwhichshehadplayed，hadbeennour—

ishingasecretgrudgeagainstherandwerenottobetrustedanymore。

Shewentaimlesslyoutofthefrontgate，notknow—

ingwhattodowithherself。MexicanTown，somehow，wasspoiledforherjustthen，andshefeltthatshewouldhideifshesawSilvoorFelipecomingtowardher。Shewalkeddownthroughtheemptymainstreet。Allthestoreswereclosed，theirblindsdown。Onthestepsofthebanksomeidleboysweresitting，tellingdisgustingstoriesbecausetherewasnothingelsetodo。Severalofthemhadgone

toschoolwithThea，butwhenshenoddedtothemtheyhungtheirheadsanddidnotspeak。Thea’sbodywasoftencuriouslyexpressiveofwhatwasgoingoninhermind，andto—nighttherewassomethinginherwalkandcarriagethatmadetheseboysfeelthatshewas"stuckup。"Ifshehadstoppedandtalkedtothem，theywouldhavethawedoutontheinstantandwouldhavebeenfriendlyandgrateful。ButTheawashurtafresh，andwalkedon，holdingherchinhigherthanever。AsshepassedtheDukeBlock，shesawalightinDr。Archie’soffice，andshewentupthestairsandopenedthedoorintohisstudy。Shefoundhimwithapileofpapersandaccount—

booksbeforehim。Hepointedhertoheroldchairattheendofhisdeskandleanedbackinhisown，lookingatherwithsatisfaction。Howhandsomeshewasgrowing！

"I’mstillchasingtheelusivemetal，Thea，"——hepointedtothepapersbeforehim，——"I’muptomyneckinmines，andI’mgoingtobearichmansomeday。"

"Ihopeyouwill；awfullyrich。That’stheonlythingthatcounts。"Shelookedrestlesslyabouttheconsulting—

room。"Todoanyofthethingsonewantstodo，onehastohavelotsandlotsofmoney。"

Dr。Archiewasdirect。"What’sthematter？Doyouneedsome？"

Theashrugged。"Oh，Icangetalong，inalittleway。"

Shelookedintentlyoutofthewindowatthearcstreet—

lampthatwasjustbeginningtosputter。"Butit’ssillytoliveatallforlittlethings，"sheaddedquietly。"Living’stoomuchtroubleunlessonecangetsomethingbigoutofit。"

Dr。Archierestedhiselbowsonthearmsofhischair，droppedhischinonhisclaspedhandsandlookedather。

"Livingisnotroubleforlittlepeople，believeme！"heexclaimed。"Whatdoyouwanttogetoutofit？"

"Oh——somanythings！"Theashivered。

"Butwhat？Money？Youmentionedthat。Well，you

canmakemoney，ifyoucareaboutthatmorethanany—

thingelse。"Henoddedpropheticallyabovehisinterlacingfingers。

"ButIdon’t。That’sonlyonething。Anyhow，I

couldn’tifIdid。"Shepulledherdresslowerattheneckasifsheweresuffocating。"Ionlywantimpossiblethings，"

shesaidroughly。"Theothersdon’tinterestme。"

Dr。Archiewatchedhercontemplatively，asifshewereabeakerfullofchemicalsworking。Afewyearsago，whensheusedtositthere，thelightfromunderhisgreenlamp—

shadeusedtofallfulluponherbroadfaceandyellowpig—

tails。Nowherfacewasintheshadowandthelineoflightfellbelowherbarethroat，directlyacrossherbosom。Theshrunkenwhiteorgandieroseandfellasifshewerestrug—

glingtobefreeandtobreakoutofitaltogether。Hefeltthatherheartmustbelaboringheavilyinthere，buthewasafraidtotouchher；hewas，indeed。Hehadneverseenherlikethisbefore。Herhair，piledhighonherhead，gaveheracommandinglook，andhereyes，thatusedtobesoin—

quisitive，werestormy。

"Thea，"hesaidslowly，"Iwon’tsaythatyoucanhaveeverythingyouwant——thatmeanshavingnothing，inreality。Butifyoudecidewhatitisyouwantmost，YOU

CANGETIT。"Hiseyecaughthersforamoment。"Notevery—

bodycan，butyoucan。Only，ifyouwantabigthing，you’vegottohavenerveenoughtocutoutallthat’seasy，everythingthat’stobehadcheap。"Dr。Archiepaused。

Hepickedupapaper—cutterand，feelingtheedgeofitsoftlywithhisfingers，headdedslowly，asiftohimself：——

"Heeitherfearshisfatetoomuch，Orhisdesertsaresmall，WhodaresnotputittothetouchTowin……orloseitall。"

Thea’slipsparted；shelookedathimfromunderafrown，searchinghisface。"Doyoumeantobreakloose，too，and——dosomething？"sheaskedinalowvoice。

"Imeantogetrich，ifyoucallthatdoinganything。

I’vefoundwhatIcandowithout。Youmakesuchbar—

gainsinyourmind，first。"

Theasprangupandtookthepaper—cutterhehadputdown，twistingitinherhands。"Alongwhilefirst，some—

times，"shesaidwithashortlaugh。"Butsupposeonecannevergetoutwhatthey’vegotinthem？Supposetheymakeamessofitintheend；thenwhat？"Shethrewthepaper—cutteronthedeskandtookasteptowardthedoctor，untilherdresstouchedhim。Shestoodlookingdownathim。"Oh，it’seasytofail！"Shewasbreathingthroughhermouthandherthroatwasthrobbingwithexcitement。

Ashelookedupather，Dr。Archie’shandstightenedonthearmsofhischair。HehadthoughtheknewTheaKron—

borgprettywell，buthedidnotknowthegirlwhowasstandingthere。Shewasbeautiful，ashislittleSwedehadneverbeen，butshefrightenedhim。Herpalecheeks，herpartedlips，herflashingeyes，seemedsuddenlytomeanonething——hedidnotknowwhat。Alightseemedtobreakuponherfromfaraway——orperhapsfromfarwithin。Sheseemedtogrowtaller，likeascarfdrawnoutlong；lookedasifshewerepursuedandfleeing，and——yes，shelookedtormented。"It’seasytofail，"heheardhersayagain，"andifIfail，you’dbetterforgetaboutme，forI’llbeoneoftheworstwomenthateverlived。I’llbeanawfulwoman！"

Intheshadowylightabovethelampshadehecaughtherglanceagainandhelditforamoment。Wildashereyeswere，thatyellowgleamatthebackofthemwasashardasadiamonddrill—point。Herosewithanervouslaughanddroppedhishandlightlyonhershoulder。"No，youwon’t。You’llbeasplendidone！"

Sheshookhimoffbeforehecouldsayanythingmore，andwentoutofhisdoorwithakindofbound。Sheleftsoquicklyandsolightlythathecouldnotevenhearherfoot—

stepinthehallwayoutside。Archiedroppedbackintohischairandsatmotionlessforalongwhile。

Soitwent；onelovedaquaintlittlegirl，cheerful，in—

dustrious，alwaysontherunandhustlingthroughhertasks；andsuddenlyonelosther。Hehadthoughtheknewthatchildlikethegloveonhishand。Butaboutthistallgirlwhothrewupherheadandglitteredlikethatallover，heknewnothing。Shewasgoadedbydesires，ambitions，revulsionsthatweredarktohim。Onethingheknew：theoldhighroadoflife，wornsafeandeasy，huggingthesunnyslopes，wouldscarcelyholdheragain。

AfterthatnightTheacouldhaveaskedprettymuchanythingofhim。Hecouldhaverefusedhernothing。

Yearsagoacraftylittlebunchofhairandsmileshadshownhimwhatshewanted，andhehadpromptlymarriedher。

To—nightaverydifferentsortofgirl——drivenwildbydoubtsandyouth，bypovertyandriches——hadlethimseethefiercenessofhernature。Shewentoutstilldis—

traught，notknowingorcaringwhatshehadshownhim。

ButtoArchieknowledgeofthatsortwasobligation。Oh，hewasthesameoldHowardArchie！

ThatSundayinJulywastheturning—point；Thea’speaceofminddidnotcomeback。Shefoundithardeventopracticeathome。Therewassomethingintheairtherethatfrozeherthroat。Inthemorning，shewalkedasfarasshecouldwalk。Inthehotafternoonsshelayonherbedinhernightgown，planningfiercely。Shehauntedthepost—office。Shemusthavewornapathinthesidewalkthatledtothepost—office，thatsummer。Shewastherethemomentthemail—sackscameupfromthedepot，morningandevening，andwhiletheletterswerebeingsortedanddistributedshepacedupanddownoutside，underthecottonwoodtrees，listeningtothethump，thump，thumpofMr。Thompson’sstamp。ShehunguponanysortofwordfromChicago；acardfromBowers，aletterfromMrs。Harsanyi，fromMr。Larsen，fromherlandlady，——anythingtoreassureherthatChicagowas

stillthere。ShebegantofeelthesamerestlessnessthathadtorturedherthelastspringwhenshewasteachinginMoonstone。Supposeshenevergotawayagain，afterall？

Supposeonebrokealegandhadtolieinbedathomeforweeks，orhadpneumoniaanddiedthere。Thedesertwassobigandthirsty；ifone’sfootslipped，itcoulddrinkoneuplikeadropofwater。

Thistime，whenThealeftMoonstonetogobacktoChicago，shewentalone。Asthetrainpulledout，shelookedbackathermotherandfatherandThor。Theywerecalmandcheerful；theydidnotknow，theydidnotun—

derstand。Somethingpulledinher——andbroke。ShecriedallthewaytoDenver，andthatnight，inherberth，shekeptsobbingandwakingherself。Butwhenthesunroseinthemorning，shewasfaraway。Itwasallbehindher，andsheknewthatshewouldnevercrylikethatagain。

Peoplelivethroughsuchpainonlyonce；paincomesagain，butitfindsatoughersurface。Thearememberedhowshehadgoneawaythefirsttime，withwhatconfidenceineverything，andwhatpitifulignorance。Suchasilly！Shefeltresentfultowardthatstupid，good—naturedchild。Howmucholdershewasnow，andhowmuchharder！Shewasgoingawaytofight，andshewasgoingawayforever。

EndofPartII