第3章

"Ah,s"y!"heexclaimedintheteethofthemenacinghordes."Standback,carn"tyer?I"llbashyerfacein,Johnny.Whoseboatisthis?"

ShallitbewhisperedthatIregrettedhisbelligerency?Here,intruth,wasthedramastaged,——mydrama,hadIonlybeenabletorealizeit.Thegoodshipbeached,theheadhuntershemmingusinonallsides,thescenepreparedforoneofthosestrugglesagainstfrightfuloddswhichIhadsographicallyrelatedasanessentialpartofouradventures.

"Let"srollthecussinthefancycollar,"proposedoneofthehead-

hunters,——meaningme.

"I"llstoveyerslatsifyertouchhim,"saidGrits,andthenresortedtoappeal."Is"y,carn"tyerstandbackandletachap"aveacharnst?"

Thehead-huntersonlyjeered.AndwhatshallbesaidoftheCaptaininthismomentofperil?Shallitbetoldthathisheartwasbeatingwildly?——bumpingwereabetterword.HewastryingtorememberthathewastheCaptain.Otherwise,hemustadmitwithshamethathe,too,shouldhavefled.Somuchforromancewhenthetestcomes.Willheremaintofallfightingforhisship?LikeHoratius,heglancedupatthehill,where,insteadoftheporchofthehomewherehewouldfainhavebeen,hebeheldawispofagirlstandingalone,herhatonthebackofherhead,herhairflyinginthewind,gazingintentlydownathiminhisdanger.Therenegadecrewwasnowheretobeseen.Therearethosewhodemandthepresenceofawomaninordertobeheroes

"Giveusachance,can"tyou?"hecried,repeatingGrits"sappealinnotquitesuchastentoriantoneashewouldhaveliked,whilehishandtrembledonthegunwale.TomPeters,itmustbeacknowledged,wasmuchmoreofabuccaneerwhenitwasaquestionofdeeds,forheplantedhimselfinthewayofthebelligerentchiefofthehead-hunters(whospokewithadecidedbrogue).

"Getoutoftheway!"saidTom,withalittlesqueakinhisvoice.Yettherehewas,andhedeservesatribute.

Anunlooked-fordiversionsavedusfromannihilation,intheshapeofonewhohadatalentforcreatingthem.Wewerebewilderinglyawareofagirlishfigureamongstus.

"Youcowards!"shecried."Youcowards!"

Lithe,andfairlyquiveringwithpassion,itwasNancywhoshowedushowtofacethehead-hunters.Theygaveback.Theywouldhavebeenbraveindeediftheyhadnotretreatedbeforesuchanintenselittlenucleusofenergyandindignation!

"Ah,give"emachanst,"saidtheirchief,afteramomentHeevenhelpedtopushtheboattowardsthewater.ButhedidnotvolunteertobeoneofthosetomanthePetrelonhermaidenvoyage.NordidLogan"spond,thatwildMarchday,greatlyresembletheSouthSeas.

Nevertheless,myeyeonNancy,Isteppedproudlyaboardandseizedan"oar."GritsandTomfollowed,——whensuddenlythePetrelsankconsiderablybelowthewater-lineasherbuildershadestimatedit.Erewefullyrealizedthis,thenowfriendlyhead-huntershadgivenusashove,andwewereoff!TheCaptain,whoshouldhavebeenwavinggood-

byetohisladylovefromthepoop,satdownabruptly,——thecrewlikewise;not,however,beforeshehadheeledtothescuppers,andahalf-bucketoficedwaterhadrunit.Head-huntersweremeredailyepisodesinGrits"sexistence,butwaterHemutteredsomethingincockneythatsoundedlikeaprayerThewindwasrapidlydrivingustowardthemiddleofthepond,andsomethingcoldandticklishwasseepingthroughtheseatsofourtrousers.Wesatlikestatues

Thebrightsceneetcheditselfinmymemory——thebarebrownslopeswithwhichthepondwasbordered,theIrishshanties,theclothes-lineswithredflannelshirtssnappinginthebitingwind;Nancymotionlessonthebank;thegroupbehindher,silentnow,impressedinspiteofitselfatthesightofourintrepidity.

ThePetrelwassailingsternfirstWouldanyofus,indeed,everseehomeagain?Ithoughtofmyfather"swrathturnedtosorrowbecausehehadrefusedtogratifyason"snaturalwishandpresenthimwitharealrowboatOutofthecornersofoureyeswewatchedthewatercreepingaroundthegunwale,andtheverymuddinessofitseemedtoenhanceitscoldness,tomakethehorrorsofitsdepthsmoremysteriousandhideous.

ThevoiceofGritsstartledus.

"OGawd,"hewassaying,"we"rea-goingtosink,andIcarn"tswim!Theblarstedtar"sgivewaybackhere."

"Issheleaking?"Icried.

"She"sa-fillinguplikeabathtub,"helamented.

Slowlybutperceptibly,intruth,thebowwasrising,andabovethewhistlingofthewindIcouldhearhischatteringasshesettled

Thenseveralthingshappenedsimultaneously:anagonizedcrybehindme,distantshoutsfromtheshore,asuddenupwardlungeofthebow,andthetortureofbeingsubmerged,inchbyinch,intheicy,yellowwater.

Despitethesplashingbehindme,IsatasthoughparalyzeduntilIwaswaistdeepandtheboardsturnedunderme,andthen,withaspasmodiccontractionofmywholebeingIstruckout——onlytofindmyfeetonthemuddybottom.SuchwastheingloriousendofthegoodshipPetrel!Forshewentdown,withallhands,inlittlemorethanhalfafathomofwaterItwasnotuntilthenIrealizedthatwehadbeenblownclearacrossthepond!

Figureswererunningalongtheshore.AndasTomandIemergeddraggingGritsbetweenus,——forhemighthavebeendrownedthereabjectlyintheshallows,——weweremetbyastoutandbare-armedIrishwomanwhosescantyhair,Iremember,wasdrawnintoatightknotbehindherhead;andwhoseizedus,allthree,asthoughwewereabunchofcarrots.

"Comealongwidye!"shecried.

Shivering,wefollowedherupthehill,thespectatorsofthetragedy,whobythistimehadcomearoundthepond,trailingafter.Nancywasnotamongthem.Insidetheshantyintowhichwewerethrustweretwosmallchildrencrawlingaboutthefloor,andtheplacewasfilledwithsteamfromawash-tubagainstthewallandaboileronthestove.Withavigorousinjunctiontomakethemselvesscarce,theIrishwomanslammedthedoorinthefacesofthecuriousandorderedustoremoveourclothes.

Gritswasputtobedinacorner,whileTomandI,providedwithvariousgarments,huddledoverthestove.TherefelltomylottheredflannelshirtwhichIhadseenontheclothes-line.Shegaveushotcoffee,andwasbackatherwash-tubinnotimeatall,herentirecommentonaproceedingthatseemedtoTomandmetohavecertainelementsofgravitybeing,"By"swillbeby"s!"Thefinalironicaltouchwasgiventheanti-

climaxwhenourrescuerturnedouttobethemotherofthechiefofthehead-huntershimself!Hehadlingeredperforcewithhisbrothersandsisteroutsidethecabinuntildinnertime,andwhenhecameinhewasmeekasMoses.

Thusthereadyhospitalityofthepoor,whichpassedovertheheadsofTomandmeasweatebreadandonionsandpotatoeswitharavenoushunger.Itmusthavebeenabouttwoo"clockintheafternoonwhenwebadegood-byetoourpreserveranddepartedforhome

Atfirstwewentatadog-trot,butpresentlysloweddowntodiscussthefutureloomingportentouslyaheadofus.Sinceentireconcealmentwasnowimpossible,thequestionwas,——howcompleteaconfessionwouldbenecessary?Ourcases,indeed,weredissimilar,andTom"sincentivetoholdbackthefactswasnotnearlysogreatasmine.ItsometimesseemedtomeinthosedaysunjustthatthePeterseswereableonthewholetokeepoutofcriminaldifficulties,inwhichIwasmoreorlesscontinuouslyinvolved:foritdidnotstrikemethattheirsinswerenotthoseoftheimagination.ThemethodofTom"sfatherwastheslipper.

HeandTomunderstoodeachother,whilebetweenmyfatherandmyselfwasagreatgulffixed.NotthatTomyearnedfortheslipper;butheregardeditsoccasionalapplicationsasbeingasinevitableaschangesintheweather;lyingdidnotcomeeasilytohim,andlefttohimselfhemuchpreferredtoconfessandhavethematteroverwith.IhavealreadysuggestedthatIhadcultivatedlying,thatweaponoftheweakerparty,insomedegree,atleast,inself-defence.

Tomwasloyal.Moreover,myconvictionwouldprobablydeprivehimforsixwholeafternoonsofmycompany,onwhichhewasmoreorlessdependent.Butthedefenceofthiscasepresentedunusualdifficulties,andwestoppedseveraltimestothrashthemout.Wehadbeenabsentfromdinner,anddoubtlessbythistimeJuliahadinformedTom"smotheroftheexpedition,andanyonecouldseethatourclothinghadbeenwet.SoI

lingeredinnolittleanxietybehindthePetersstablewhilehemadetheinvestigation.OurspiritsroseconsiderablywhenhereturnedtoreportthatJuliahadunexpectedlybeenatrump,havingquietedhismotherbythesurmisethathewasspendingthedaywithhisAuntFanny.Sofar,sogood.Theproblemnowwastodecideuponwhattoadmit.Forwemustbothtellthesamestory.

ItwasagreedthatwehadfallenintoLogan"sPondfromaraft:mysuggestion.Well,saidTom,thePetrelhadn"tprovedmuchbetterthanaraft,afterall.Iwasinnomoodtodefendher.

ThisdesignationofthePetrelasa"raft"wasmyfirstlegalquibble.

Thequestiontobedecidedbythecourtwas,Whatisaraft?justasthesupremetribunalofthelandhasbeenrequired,inlateryears,todecide,Whatiswhiskey?Thethingtobeconcealedifpossiblewasthebuildingofthe"raft,"althoughthisinformationwasalreadyinthepossessionofanumberofpersons,whosefathersmightatanymomentseefittocongratulatemyownonbeingtheparentofagenius.Itwasarisk,however,thathadtoberun.And,secondly,sinceGritsJarviswascontraband,nothingwastobesaidabouthim.

Ihavenotsaidmuchaboutmymother,whomighthavebeenlikenedonsuchoccasionstoagrandjurycompelledtoindict,yettornbetweenloyaltytoanoathandsympathywiththedefendant.IwentthroughthePetersyard,climbedthewirefence,myobjectbeingtodiscoverfirstfromElla,thehousemaid,orHannah,thecook,howmuchwasknowninhighquarters.ItwasHannahwho,asIopenedthekitchendoor,turnedatthesound,andsetdownthesaucepanshewasscouring.

"Isithomeyeare?Mercytogoodness!"(thisonbeholdingmyshrunkencostume)"GlorybetoGodyou"renotdrownded!andyourmotherworritin"

herheartout!Soit"sintothewatheryewere?"

Iadmittedit.

"Hannah?"Isaidsoftly.

"Whatthen?"

"Doesmotherknow——abouttheboat?"

"Nowdon"tyebewheedlin"."

Imanagedtodiscover,however,thatmymotherdidnotknow,andsurmisedthatthebestreasonwhyshehadnotbeentoldhadtodowithHannah"scriminalacquiescenceconcerningtheoperationsintheshed.Iranintothefronthallandupthestairs,andmymotherheardmecomingandmetmeonthelanding.

"Hugh,wherehaveyoubeen?"

AsIemergedfromthesemi-darknessofthestairwayshecaughtsightofmydwindledgarments,ofthetrouserswellabovemyankles.Suddenlyshehadmeinherarmsandwaskissingmepassionately.Asshestoodbeforemeinhergrey,beltedskirt,thefamiliarred-and-whitecameoatherthroat,herheavyhairpartedinthemiddle,inhereyeswasanodd,appealinglookwhichIknownowwasasignofmotherlovestrugglingwithaPresbyterianconscience.Thoughsheinheritedthatconscience,Ihaveoftenthoughtshemighthavesucceededincastingitoff——oratleastsomeofit——haditnotbeenforthefactthatinspiteofherselfsheworshippeditsincarnationintheshapeofmyfather.Hervoicetrembledalittleasshedrewmetothesofabesidethewindow.

"Tellmeaboutwhathappened,myson,"shesaid.

Itwasaterriblemomentforme.Formyaffectionswerestillquiveringlyaliveinthosedays,andIlovedher.Ihadforaninstantaninstinctiveimpulsetotellherthewholestory,——SouthSeaIslandsandall!AndIcouldhavedoneithadInotbeheldloomingbehindheranotherfigurewhichrepresentedasternandunsympatheticAuthority,andsomehowmadeher,suddenly,ofsmallaccount.Notthatshewouldhaveunderstoodtheromance,butshewouldhavecomprehendedme.Iknewthatshewaspowerlesstosavemefromthewrathtocome.Iwept.ItwasbecauseIhatedtolietoher,——yetIdidso.Feargrippedme,and——likesomerespectablecriminalsIhavesinceknown——IunderstoodthatanyconfessionImadewouldinexorablybeusedagainstmeIwonderwhethersheknewIwaslying?Atanyrate,thecaseappearedtobeagraveone,andIwaspresentlyremandedtomyroomtobeheldoverfortrial

Vividly,asIwrite,IrecallthemiseryofthehoursIhavespent,whileawaitingsentence,inthelittlechamberwiththehoneysucklewall-paperandsteelengravingsofhappybutdumpychildrenrompinginthefieldsandgroves.OnthisparticularMarchafternoontheweatherhadbecomemorne,astheFrenchsay;andIlookeddownsadlyintothegreybackyardwhichthewindofthemorninghadstrewnwithchipsfromthePetrel.Atlast,whenshadowsweregatheringinthecornersoftheroom,Iheardfootsteps.Ellaappeared,primandvirtuous,yetalittlecommiserating.

Myfatherwishedtoseeme,downstairs.Itwasnotthefirsttimeshehadbroughtthatsummons,andalwayshermannerwasthesame!

Thesceneofmytrialswasalwaysthesittingroom,linedwithgrimbooksintheirwalnutcases.Andmyfathersat,likeajudge,behindthebigdeskwherehedidhisworkwhenathome.Oh,thedistancebetweenusatsuchanhour!IenteredasdelicatelyasAgag,andtheexpressioninhiseyeseemedtoconvictmebeforeIcouldopenmymouth.

"Hugh,"hesaid,"yourmothertellsmethatyouhaveconfessedtogoing,withoutpermission,toLogan"sPond,whereyouembarkedonaraftandfellintothewater."

Theslightemphasishecontrivedtoputonthewordraftsentacoldershiverdownmyspinethantheicedwaterhaddone.Whatdidheknow?orwasthismeresuspicion?Toolate,now,atanyrate,topleadguilty.

"Itwasasortofaraft,sir,"Istammered.

"Asortofaraft,"repeatedmyfather."Where,mayIask,didyoufindit?"

"I——Ididn"texactlyfindit,sir."

"Ah!"saidmyfather.(Itwasthemomenttoglancemeaninglyatthejury.)Theprisonergulped."Youdidn"texactlyfindit,then.Willyoukindlyexplainhowyoucamebyit?"

"Well,sir,we——I——putittogether."

"Haveyouanyobjectiontostating,Hugh,inplainEnglish,thatyoumadeit?"

"No,sir,IsupposeyoumightsaythatImadeit."

"Orthatitwasintendedforarow-boat?"

Herewasthetimetoappeal,toforceadecisionastowhatconstitutedarow-boat.

"Perhapsitmightbecalledarow-boat,sir,"Isaidabjectly.

"Orthat,indirectoppositiontomywishesandcommandsinforbiddingyoutohaveaboat,tospendyourmoneyfoolishlyandwickedlyonawhim,youconstructedonesecretlyinthewoodshed,tookoutapartofthebackpartition,thusdestroyingpropertythatdid,notbelongtoyou,andhadtheboatcartedthismorningtoLogan"sPond?"

Iwassilent,utterlyundone.Evidentlyhehadspecificinformation

Therearecertainexpressionsthatare,attimes,morethanmerefiguresofspeech,andnowmyfather"swrathseemedliterallytowering.Itaddedvisiblytohisstature.

"Hugh,"hesaid,inavoicethatpenetratedtotheverycornersofmysoul,"Iutterlyfailtounderstandyou.Icannotimaginehowasonofmine,asonofyourmotherwhoistheverysouloftruthfulnessandhonour——canbealiar."(Oh,theterribleemphasisheputonthatword!)

"Norisitasifthiswereanewtendency——Ihavepunishedyouforitbefore.YourmotherandIhavetriedtodoourdutybyyou,toinstilintoyouChristianteaching.Butitseemswhollyuseless.IconfessthatIamatalesshowtoproceed.Youseemtohavenoconsciencewhatever,noconceptionofwhatyouowetoyourparentsandyourGod.

Younotonlypersistentlydisregardmywishesandcommands,butyouhave,formanymonths,beenleadingadoublelife,facingmeeveryday,whileyouweresecretlyandcontinuallydisobeyingme.Ishuddertothinkwherethisdeterminationofyourstohavewhatyoudesireatanypricewillleadyouinthefuture.Itisjustsuchadesirethatdistinguisheswickedmenfromgood."

IwillnotlingeruponascenetheveryremembranceofwhichispainfultothisdayIwentfrommyfather"spresenceindisgrace,inanagonyofspiritthatwasoverwhelming,tolockthedoorofmyroomanddropfacedownwardonthebed,tosobuntilmymusclestwitched.Forhehad,indeed,putintomeanawfulfear.Thegreatesthorrorofmyboyishimaginationwasawickedman.WasI,ashehaddeclared,utterlydepravedanddoomedinspiteofmyselftobeone?

Therecameaknockatmydoor——Ellawithmysupper.Irefusedtoopen,andsentheraway,tofallonmykneesinthedarknessandpraywildlytoaGodwhoseattributesandcharacterweresufficientlyconfusedinmymind.Ontheonehandwasthestern,despoticMonarchoftheWestminsterCatechism,whomIaddressedoutofhabit,theFatherwhocondemnedaportionofhischildrenfromthecradle.WasIoneofthosewhohehaddecreedbeforeIwasbornmustsufferthetorturesoftheflamesofhell?

Puttingtwoandtwotogether,whatIhadlearnedinSundayschoolandgatheredfrompartsofDr.Pound"ssermons,andtheintimationofmyfatherthatwickednesswaswithinme,likeanincurabledisease,——wasnotminethelogicalconclusion?What,then,wastheuseofpraying?Mysupplicationsceasedabruptly.Andmyeverreadyimagination,stirredtoitsdepths,beheldthatawfulsceneofthelastday:thedarkness,suchassometimescreepsoverthecityinwinter,whenthejaundicedsmokefallsdownandwereadatnoondaybygas-light.Ibeheldthetorturedfacesofthewickedgatheredontheoneside,andmymotherontheotheramongsttheblessed,gazingacrossthegulfatmewithyearningandcompassion.Strangethatitdidnotstrikemethatthesightofthecondemnedwhomtheyhadlovedinlifewouldhavemarredifnotdestroyedthehappinessofthechosen,abouttoreceivetheircrownsandharps!

Whatatheology——thatmadetheCreatorandPreserverofallmankindthusillogical!

III.

AlthoughIwasimaginative,Iwasnotmorbidlyintrospective,andbytheendofthefirstdayofmyincarcerationmyinterestinthatsolutionhadwaned.Attimes,however,IactuallyyearnedforsomeoneinwhomIcouldconfide,whocouldsuggestasolution.Irepeat,IwouldnotforworldshaveaskedmyfatherormymotherorDr.Pound,ofwhomIhadawholesomefear,orperhapsanunwholesomeone.ExceptatmorningBiblereadingandatchurchmyparentsnevermentionedthenameoftheDeity,savetoinstructmeformally.Intendedorno,theeffectofmyreligioustrainingwastomakemeashamedofdiscussingspiritualmatters,andnaturallyIfailedtoperceivethatthiswasbecauseitlaiditsemphasisonpersonalsalvationIdidnot,however,becomeanunbeliever,forIwasnotofanaturetocontemplatewithequanimityagodlessuniverse

Mysufferingsduringtheseseriesofafternoonconfinementsdidnotcomefromremorse,butweretheresultofavaguesenseofinjury;andtheireffectwastogeneratewithinmeastrangemotivepower,adesiretodosomethingthatwouldastoundmyfatherandeventuallywringfromhimtheconfessionthathehadmisjudgedme.Tobesure,Ishouldhavetowaituntilearlymanhood,atleast,fortheaccomplishmentofsuchacoup.

MightitnotbethatIwasanembryonicliterarygenius?ManywerethebooksIbeganinthisecstasyofself-vindication,onlytoabandonthemwhenmyconfinementcametoanend.

Itwasaboutthistime,Ithink,thatIexperiencedoneofthoseshockswhichhaveapermanenteffectuponcharacter.Itwasthenthecustomforladiestospendthedaywithoneanother,bringingtheirsewing;andsometimes,whenIunexpectedlyenteredthesitting-room,thevoicesofmymother"svisitorswoulddroptoawhisper.OneafternoonIreturnedfromschooltopauseattheheadofthestairs.CousinBerthaEwanandMrs.

McAlerywerediscussingwithmymotheranaffairthatIjudgedfromtheawedtoneinwhichtheyspokemightproveinteresting.

"PoorGrace,"Mrs.McAlerywassaying,"Iimagineshe"spaidaheavypenalty.Nomanalivewillbefaithfulunderthosecircumstances."

Istoppedattheheadofthestairs,withadelicious,guiltyfeeling.

"Havetheyeverheardofher?"CousinBerthaasked.

"ItisthoughttheywenttoSpain,"repliedMrs.McAlery,solemnly,yetnotwithoutacertainzest."Mr.JulesHollisterwillnothavehernamementionedinhispresence,youknow.AndWhitcombchasedthemasfarasNewYorkwithahorse-pistolinhispocket.Thereportisthathegottothedockjustastheshipsailed.Andthen,youknow,hewenttolivesomewhereoutWest,——inIowa,Ibelieve."

"Didheevergetadivorce?"CousinBerthainquired.

"Hewastoogoodachurchmember,mydear,"mymotherremindedher.

"Well,I"dhavegotonequickenough,churchmemberornochurchmember,"

declaredCousinBertha,whohadinherelementsofdaring.

"NotthatImeanforamomenttoexcuseher,"Mrs.McAleryputin,"butEdwardWhitcombdidhaveafrightfultemper,andhewasawfullystrictwithher,andhewasoldenough,anyhow,tobeherfather.GraceHollisterwasthelastwomanintheworldIshouldhavesuspectedofdoingsohideousathing.Shewassosweetandsimple."