第11章

differentfromtherest;inshort,sheemphasizedandintensifiedwhatI

maycalltheWeathersfieldenvironment,stirredupinmenewandvagueaspirationsthattroubledyetexcitedme.

ThentherewasMrs.Kyme,apretty,light-heartedlady,stillyoung,whoseemedtohavenointentionofgrowingolder,whorompedandplayedsongsforusonthepiano.ThedaughterofanoldbutnowimpecuniousWestchesterfamily,shehadbeenborntoadornthepositionsheheld,shewasadaptedbynaturetowringfromittheutmostofthejoysitoffered.

Fromher,ratherthanfromherhusband,bothofthechildrenseemedtohaveinherited.IusedtowatchMr.GrosvenorKymeashesatattheendofthedinner-table,dark,preoccupied,taciturn,symbolicalofawealthnewtomyexperience,andwhichhadaboutitacertainfabulousquality.

Ittoilednot,neitherdiditspin,butgrewasifbymagic,dayandnight,untiltheveryconceptionofitwasoverpowering.WhatmustitbetohavehadancestorswhohadbeencleverenoughtositstilluntilacongestedanddiscontentedEuropehadbeguntopouritsthousandsandhundredsofthousandsintothegatewayofthewesternworld,untilthatgatewayhadbecomeametropolis?ancestors,ofcourse,possessingwhatnowsuddenlyappearedtomeasthemostdesirableofgifts——sinceitreapedsodazzlingaharvest-businessforesight.Fromtimetotimetheseancestorshadcontinuedtobuydesirablecorners,whichnoamountofpersuasionhadavailedtomakethemrelinquish.Leasethem,yes;sellthem,never!Byvirtueofsuchasystemwealthwasasinevitableashumannecessity;andthethoughtofhumannecessitydidnotgreatlybotherme.Mr.Kyme"sproblemoflifewasnotoneofmakingmoney,butofinvestingit.Onebecameautomaticallyapersonage

Itwasduetooneofthosesingularcoincidences——sointerestingasubjectforspeculation——thatthemanwhorevealedtomethisgoldenromanceoftheKymefamilywasnoneotherthanaresidentofmyowncity,Mr.TheodoreWatling,nowbecomeoneofourmostimportantandinfluentialcitizens;acorporationlawyer,newandstimulatingqualification,suggestingasitdid,adeusexmachinaofgreataffairs.

Thathe,ofallmen,shouldcometoWeathersfieldastonishedme,sinceI

wasasyettomaketheconnectionbetweenthatfinished,decorous,secludedexistenceandthesourceofitsbeing.Theeveningbeforemydeparturehearrivedincompanywithtwoothergentlemen,aMr.TalbotandaMr.Saxes,whosenameswerespokenwithrespectinasphereofwhichIhadhithertotakenbutlittlecognizance-WallStreet.Conybearinformedmethattheywere"magnates,"Weweresittinginthedrawing-roomattea,whentheyenteredwithMr.Watling,andnosoonerhadhespokentoMrs.Kymethanhisquickeyesingledmeoutofthegroup.

"Why,Hugh!"heexclaimed,takingmyhand."IhadnoideaIshouldmeetyouhere——Isawyourfatheronlylastweek,thedayIlefthome."Andheadded,turningtoMrs.Kyme,"HughisthesonofMr.MatthewParet,whohasbeentheleaderofourbarformanyyears."

TherecognitionandthetributetomyfatherweresograciouslygiventhatIwarmedwithgratitudeandpride,whileMr.Kymesmiledalittle,remarkingthatIwasafriendofJerry"s.TheodoreWatling,forbeinghere,hadsuddenlyassumedinmyeyesaconsiderableconsequence,thoughthenotehestruckinthathousewasastrangeone.Itwas,however,hisownnote,andhadacertaindistinction,aringofindependence,oftheknowledgeofself-worth.DinneratWeathersfieldweyoungstershadusuallyfoundratheranoppressiveceremony,withitsshadedlightsandpreciseritualoverwhichMr.Kymepresidedlikeahighpriest;

conversationhadbeenrestrained.Thatnight,asJohnnieLaurensafterwardsexpressedit,"thingsloosenedup,"andMr.Watlingwasresponsiblefortheloosening.TakingcommandoftheKymedinnertableappearedtometobenomeanachievement,butthisisjustwhathedid,withoutbeingvulgarornoisyorassertive.Suavitarinmodo,forbiterinre.If,asIwatchedhimtherewithanewbornprideandloyalty,I

hadpausedtoreconstructtheideathatthementionofhisnamewouldformerlyhaveevoked,IsupposeIshouldhavefoundhimfallingshortofmynotionofagentleman;ithadbeenmyfather"sopinion;butMr.

Watling"smarriagetoGeneHollister"saunthadgivenhimastandingwithusathome.Hepossessedvirility,vitalityinaremarkabledegree,yetsomeelusivequalitythatwasneithertactnordelicacy——thoughrelatedtothesedifferentiatedhimfromthecommonplace,self-mademanofability.Hewasjustoffthetype.Tolikenhimtoaclothingstoremodelofawell-built,broad-shoulderedmanwithafirmneck,ahandsome,rathersquarefacenotlackingincolourandaconventional,droopingmoustachewouldbeslanderous;yethedidsuggestit.Suggestingit,heredeemedit:andthemiddlewesternburrinhisvoicewasratherattractivethanotherwise.Hehadnotsomuchtheairofbelongingthere,asofbelonginganywhere——oneofthoseanomalisticAmericancitizensoftheworldwhogoabroadandmakeintimatesofprinces.

Beforethemealwasoverhehadinspiredmewithloyaltyandpride,enlistedtheadmirationofJerryandConybearandJohnnieLaurens;wefollowedhimintothesmoking-room,sittingdowninarowonaleatherloungebehindourelders.

Here,nowthatthegentlemenwerealone,therewasaninspiringlargenessintheirtalkthatfiredtheimagination.Thesubjectwasinvestments,atfirstthoseofcoalandironinmyownstate,forMr.Watling,itappeared,wascounselfortheBoyneIronWorks.

"Itwillpayyoutokeepaneyeonthatcompany,Mr.Kyme,"hesaid,knockingtheashesfromhiscigar."NowthatoldMr.Durrett"sgone——"

"Youdon"tmeantosayNathanielDurrett"sdead!"saidMr.Kyme.

Thelawyernodded.

"Theoldregimepassedwithhim.AdolfScherersucceedshim,andyoumaytakemywordforit,he"sacomingman.Mr.Durrett,whowasajudgeofmen,recognizedthat.Schererwasanemigrant,hehadideas,androsetobeaforeman.ForthelastfewyearsMr.Durrettthreweverythingonhisshoulders"

Littlebylittlethescopeofthediscussionwasenlargeduntilitrangedoveracontinent,touchinglightlyuponlinesofrailroad,builtorprojected,acrossthegreatwestourpioneershadsolatelysucceededinwrestingfromthesavages,uponminesofcopperandgoldhiddenawayamongthemountains,andmillionsofacresofforestandgrazinglandswhichacomplacentgovernmentwouldrelinquishprovidedcertaintechnicalitiesweremet:touchinglightly,too,verylightly,——uponsenatorsandcongressmenatWashington.AndforthefirsttimeIlearnedthatnottheleastofthefunctionsoftheserepresentativesofthepeoplewastoactasthemediumbetweencapitalandinvestment,tofacilitatethehandingoveroftheRepublic"sresourcestothoseinapositiontodevelopthem.Theemphasiswaslaidondevelopment,orratherontheresultingprosperityforthecountry:thatwasthejustification,anditwastakenforgrantedassupreme.Norwasitnewtome;thiscultofprosperity.Irecalledthetorch-lightprocessionsofthetariffenthusiastsofmychildhooddays,myfather"schampionshipoftheRepublicanParty.Hehadnotidealizedpoliticians,either.FortheAmerican,politicsandethicswerestrangers.

ThusIlistenedwithincreasingfascinationtothesegentlemenineveningclothescalmlytreatingtheUnitedStatesasamelonpatchthatexistedlargelyforthepurposeofbeingdividedupamongstalimitedandfavorednumberofpersons.Ihadafeelingofbeingamongtheinitiated.Where,itmaybeasked,weremyideals?LetitnotbesupposedthatIbelievedmyselftohavelostthem.Ifso,theimpressionIhavegivenofmyselfhasbeenwhollyinadequate.No,theyhadbeentransmuted,thatisall,transmutedbythealchemyofWeathersfield,bythepersonalityofTheodoreWatlingintobrightervisions.Myeyesrarelylefthisface;I

hungonhistalk,whichwasinterspersedwithnativehumour,thoughhedidnotalwaysjoininthelaughter,sometimesgazingatthefire,asthoughhiskeenmindweregrapplingwithaproblemsuggested.Inotedtherespectinwhichhisopinionswereheld,andmyimaginationwasfiredbyanimpressionofthepowertobeachievedbysuccessfulmenofhisprofession,bytheevidenceoftheirindispensabilitytocapitalitselfAtlastwhenthegentlemenroseandwereleavingtheroom,Mr.Watlinglingered,withhishandonmyarm.

"Ofcourseyou"regoingthroughtheLawSchool,Hugh,"hesaid.

"Yes,sir,"Ireplied.

"Good!"heexclaimedemphatically."Thelaw,to-day,ismoreofacareerthanever,especiallyforayoungmanwithyourantecedentsandadvantages,andIknowofnocityintheUnitedStateswhereIwouldratherstartpractice,ifIwereayoungman,thanours.Inthenexttwentyyearsweshallseeatremendousgrowth.Ofcourseyou"llbegoingintoyourfather"soffice.Youcouldn"tdobetter.ButI"llkeepaneyeonyou,andperhapsI"llbeabletohelpyoualittle,too."

Ithankedhimgratefully.

Afamousartist,whostartedoutinyouthtoembraceamilitarycareerandwhofailedtopassanexaminationatWestPoint,issaidtohaveremarkedthatifsiliconhadbeenagashewouldhavebeenasoldier.I

amafraidImayhavegiventheimpressionthatifIhadnotgonetoWeathersfieldandencounteredMr.WatlingImightnothavebeenalawyer.

Thisimpressionwouldbemisleading.AndwhileitiscertainthatIhavenotexaggeratedtheintensityofthespiritualexperienceIwentthroughatCambridge,asomewhatbelatedconsiderationforthetruthcompelsmetoregistermybeliefthatthemoodwouldinanycasehavebeenephemeral.Thepoisongeneratedbythestruggleofmynaturewithitsenvironmenthadsunktoodeep,andtheveryeducationthatwassupposedtomakeapracticalmanofmehadturnedmeintoasentimentalist.I

became,aswillbeseen,anythingbutapracticalmaninthetruesense,thoughtheworldinwhichIhadbeenbroughtupandcontinuedtolivedeemedmesuch.MyfatherwasgreatlypleasedwhenIwrotehimthatI

wasnowmorethaneverconvincedofthewisdomofchoosingthelawasmyprofession,andwassatisfiedthatIhadcometomysensesatlast.Hehadstillbeenpreparedtoseeme"gooffatatangent,"asheexpressedit.Ontheotherhand,thepowerfuleffectoftheappealmadebyWeathersfieldandMr.Watlingmustnotbeunderestimated.Hereinoneobjectlessonwasemphasizedahostofsuggestionseachofwhichhadmadeitsimpression.AndwhenIreturnedtoCambridgeAlonzoCheyneknewthathehadlostme

Ipassovertherestofmycollegecourse,andtheyearsIspentattheHarvardLawSchool,wherewereinstilledintomewithoutdifficultythedictumsthatthelawwasthemostimportantofallprofessions,thatthosewhoentereditwereapriestlyclasssetasidetoguardfromprofanationthatArkoftheCovenant,theConstitutionoftheUnitedStates.Inshort,IwastaughtlawpreciselyasIhadbeentaughtreligion,——scripturalinfallibilityoveragain,——astaticlawandastatictheology,——asetofconceptsthatweresupposedtobeequaltoanyproblemscivilizationwouldhavetomeetuntilthemillennium.Whatwearewonttocallwisdomisoftennaivelyinnocentofimpendingchange.

Ithasnobarometricproperties.

Ishallcontentmyselfwithrelatingoneincidentonlyofthisperiod.

IntheJanuaryofmylastyearIwentwithapartyofyoungmenandgirlstostayoverSundayatBeverlyFarms,whereMrs.Fremantle——ayoungBostonmatronhadopenedhercottagefortheoccasion.This"cottage,"aroomy,gabledstructure,stoodonacliff,atthefootofwhichroaredthewintryAtlantic,whilewedancedandpoppedcornbeforetheopenfires.Duringthedaylighthourswedroveaboutthecountryinsleighs,ormaderidiculousattemptstowalkonsnow-shoes.

OnSundayafternoon,lefttemporarilytomyowndevices,Iwanderedalongthecliff,crossingintotheadjoiningproperty.Thewindhadfallen;

thewaves,muchsubdued,brokerhythmicallyagainsttherocks;duringthenightanewmantleofsnowhadbeenspread,andthecloudswerestilllowandmenacing.AsIstrolledIbecameawareofamotionlessfigureaheadofme,——onethatseemedoddlyfamiliar;thesetoftheshabbyovercoatonthestoopingshoulders,theunconsciousposecontributedtoacertainsharpnessofindividuality;intheactofchallengingmymemory,I

halted.Themanwasgazingattheseascape,andhisveryabsorptiongavemeasuddenandunfamiliarthrill.Thewordabsorptionpreciselyexpressesmymeaning,forheseemedindeedtohavebecomeapartofhissurroundings,——anharmoniouspart.Presentlyheswungaboutandlookedatmeasthoughhehadexpectedtofindmethere——andgreetedmebyname.

"Krebs!"Iexclaimed.

Hesmiled,andflungouthisarm,indicatingthescene.Hiseyesatthatmomentseemedtoreflectthesea,——theymadethegauntfacesuddenlybeautiful.

"ThisremindsmeofaJapaneseprint,"hesaid.

Thewords,orthetoneinwhichhespoke,curiouslytransformedthepicture.ItwasasifInowbeheldit,anew,throughhisvision:thegreywaterstretchingeastwardtomeltintothegreysky,themassed,blacktreesonthehillside,powderedwithwhite,thesnowinrounded,fantasticpatchesonthehugebouldersatthefootofthecliff.Krebsdidnotseemlikeastranger,butlikeonewhomIhadknownalways,——onewhostoodinapeculiarrelationshipbetweenmeandsomethinggreaterI

couldnotdefine.Theimpressionwasfleeting,butrealIrememberwonderinghowhecouldhaveknownanythingaboutJapaneseprints.

"Ididn"tthinkyouwerestillinthispartofthecountry,"Iremarkedawkwardly.

"I"mareporteronaBostonnewspaper,andI"vebeensentupheretointerviewoldMr.Dome,wholivesinthathouse,"andhepointedtoaroofabovethetrees."Thereisarumour,whichIhopetoverify,thathehasjustgivenahundredthousanddollarstotheUniversity."

"And——won"theseeyou?"

"Atpresenthe"stakinganap,"saidKrebs."Hecomeshereoccasionallyforarest."

"Doyoulikeinterviewing?"Iasked.

Hesmiledagain.

"Well,Iseeagoodmanydifferentkindsofpeople,andthat"sinteresting."

"But——beingareporter?"Ipersisted.

Thiscontinuedpatronagewasnotaconsciousexpressionofsuperiorityonmypart,buthedidnotseemtoresentit.Hehadarousedmycuriosity.

"I"mgoingintothelaw,"hesaid.

Thequietconfidencewithwhichhespokearoused,suddenly,atwingeofantagonism.Hehadeveryrighttogointothelaw,ofcourse,andyet!myquerywouldhavemadeitevidenttome,hadIbeenintrospectiveinthosedays,thatthegermoftheidealoftheprofession,implantedbyMr.Watling,wasexpanding.Werenotinfluentialfriendsnecessaryfortheproperkindofcareer?andwherewereKrebs"s?InspiteofthehistoryofDanielWebsterandalonglineofAmericantradition,Ifeltanincongruityinmyclassmate"saspiration.Andashestoodthere,gauntandundoubtedlyhungry,hiseyeskindling,Imustvaguelyhaveclassedhimwiththerevolutionariesofalltheages;musthavefeltinhim,instinctively,amenacetothestabilityofthatOrderwithwhichIhadthrownmyfortunes.AndyettherewerecomparativelypoormenintheLawSchoolitselfwhohadnotmademefeelthisway!Hehadimpressedmeagainstmywill,takenmebysurprise,commiserationhadbeenmingledwithotherfeelingsthatsprangoutofthememoryofthenightIhadcalledonhim,whenhehadbeensick.NowIresentedsomethinginhimwhichTomPetershadcalled"crust."

"Thelaw!"Irepeated."Why?"

"Well,"hesaid,"evenwhenIwasaboy,workingatoddjobs,IusedtothinkifIcouldeverbealawyerIshouldhavereachedthetopnotchofhumandignity."

Oncemorehissmiledisarmedme.

"Andnow"Iaskedcuriously.

"Yousee,itwasanidealwithme,Isuppose.Myfatherwasresponsibleforthat.HehadtheGermantemperamentof"48,andwhenhefledtothiscountry,heexpectedtofindUtopia."Thesmileemergedagain,likethesunshiningthroughclouds,whilefascinationandantagonismagainstruggledwithinme."Andthencamefrightfultroubles.Foryearshecouldgetonlyenoughworktokeephimandmymotheralive,butheneverlosthisfaithinAmerica.`Itisman,"hewouldsay,`manhastogrowuptoit——toliberty."Withoutthestruggle,libertywouldbeworthnothing.Andheusedtotellmethatwemustalldoourpart,wewhohadcomehere,andnotexpecteverythingtobedoneforus.Hehadmadethatmistake.Ifthingswerebad,why,putashouldertothewheelandhelptomakethembetter.

"Thathelpedme,"hecontinued,afteramoment"spause."ForI"veseenagoodmanythings,especiallysinceI"vebeenworkingforanewspaper.

I"veseen,againandagain,thepowerofthelawturnedagainstthosewhomitwasintendedtoprotect,I"veseenlawyerswhocareagreatdealmoreaboutwinningcasesthantheydoaboutjustice,whoprostitutetheirprofessiontoprofitmaking,——profitmakingforthemselvesandothers.

Andtheyareoftentherespectablelawyers,too,menofhighstanding,whomyouwouldnotthinkwoulddosuchthings.Theyareonthesideofthepowerful,andthebestofthemareallretainedbyrichmenandcorporations.Andwhatistheresult?Oneoftheworstevils,Ithink,thatcanbefallacountry.Thepoormangoeslessandlesstothecourts.Heisgettingbitter,whichisbad,whichisdangerous.Butmenwon"tseeit."

Itwasonmytonguetorefutethis,tosaythateverybodyhadachance.

Icouldindeedrecallmanyargumentsthathadbeendrilledintome;

quotations,even,fromcourtdecisions.Butsomethingpreventedmefromdoingthis,——somethinginhismanner,whichwasneitherargumentativenorcombative.

"That"swhyIamgoingintothelaw,"headded."AndIintendtostayinitifIcankeepalive.It"sagreatchanceforme——forallofus.

Aren"tyouattheLawSchool?"

Inodded.Oncemore,ashisearnestglancefelluponme,camethatsuggestionofasubtle,inexplicablelinkbetweenus;butbeforeIcouldreply,stepswereheardbehindus,andanelderlyservant,bareheaded,wasseencomingdownthepath.

"Areyouthereporter?"hedemandedsomewhatimpatientlyofKrebs."IfyouwanttoseeMr.Dome,you"dbettercomerightaway.He"sgoingoutforadrive."

Forawhile,afterhehadshakenmyhandanddeparted,Istoodinthesnow,lookingafterhim

VIII

OntheWednesdayofthatsameweekthenewsofmyfather"ssuddenandseriousillnesscametomeinatelegram,andbythetimeIarrivedathomeitwastoolatetoseehimagainalive.Itwasmyfirstexperiencewithdeath,andwhatperplexedmecontinuallyduringthefollowingdayswasaninabilitytofeelthelossmoredeeply.Whenachild,Ihadbeeneasilyshakenbythespectacleofsorrow.HadI,duringrecentyears,asaresultofadiscoverythatemotionsarisingfromhumanrelationshipsleadtodiscomfortandsuffering,deliberatelybeenformingashell,untilnowIwasincapableofnaturalfeelings?OflateIhadseemedclosertomyfather,andhisletters,thoughformal,hadgivenevidenceofhisaffection;inhisrepressedfashionhehadmadeitclearthathelookedforwardtothetimewhenIwastopractisewithhim.Whywasitthen,asIgazeduponhisfinefeaturesindeath,thatIexperiencednointensityofsorrow?Whatwasitinmethatwouldnotbreakdown?Heseemedwornandtired,yetIhadneverthoughtofhimasweary,neverattributedtohimanyyearning.Andnowhewasreleased.

Iwonderedwhathadbeenhisprivatethoughtsabouthimself,hisprivateopinionsaboutlife;andwhenIreflectnowuponmylackofrealknowledgeatfiveandtwenty,Iamamazedatthefutilityofanexpensiveeducationwhichhadfailedtoimpressuponmethesimple,basicfactthatlifewasstruggle;thateitherdevelopmentorretrogressionisthefateofallmen,thatcharactersarenevercompletelymade,butalwaysinthemaking.Ihadmerelyadisconcertingglimpseofthistruth,withnopowersofformulation,asIsatbesidemymotherinthebedroom,whereeveryarticleevokedsomechildhoodscene.Herewasthedentinthewalnutfoot-boardofthebedmade,onewintryday,bytheimpactofmyboxofblocks;thebigarm-chair,coveredwithIknownotwhatstiffembroidery,whichhadservedoncountlessoccasionsasachariotdriventovictory.IevenrememberedhoweveryWednesdaymorningIhadbeenbanishedfromtheroom,whichhadbeensolargeapartofmychildhooduniverse,whenElla,thehousemaid,hadflungopenallitswindowsandcrowdeditsfurnitureintothehall.

Thethoughtofmywanderingssincethenbecamepoignant,almostterrifying.Theroom,withallitsmemories,wasunchanged.HowsafeI