第12章

hadbeenwithinitswalls!WhycouldInothavebeen,contentwithwhatitrepresented?oftradition,ofcustom,——ofreligion?Andwhatwasitwithinmethathadluredmeawayfromthese?

Iwasmiserable,indeed,butmymiserywasnotofthekindIthoughtitoughttobe.Atmoments,whenmymotherrelapsedintoweeping,Iglancedatheralmostinwonder.Suchsorrowasherswasincomprehensible.Onceshesurprisedanddiscomfitedmebyliftingherheadandgazingfixedlyatmethroughhertears.

Irecallcertainimpressionsofthefuneral.There,amongthepall-

bearers,wasmyCousinRobertBreck,tearsinthefurrowsofhischeeks.

HadhelovedmyfathermorethanI?ThesightofhisgriefmovedmesuddenlyandstronglyItseemedanagesinceIhadworkedinhisstore,andyetherehewasstill,comingtotowneverymorningandreturningeveryeveningtoClaremore,lovinghisfriends,andmourningthemonebyone.Wasthis,thespectaclepresentedbymyCousinRobert,therewardofearthlyexistence?Weretherenootherprizessavethoseknownasgreatnessofcharacteranddepthofhumanaffections?CousinRobertlookedwornandold.Theotherpall-bearers,menofweight,oflongstandinginthecommunity,wereaged,too;Mr.Blackwood,andMr.

JulesHollister;andoutofplace,somehow,inthisnewchurchbuilding.

Itcametomeabruptlythattheoldorderwasgone,——hadslippedawayduringmyabsence.ThechurchIhadknowninboyhoodhadbeentorndowntomakeroomforabusinessbuildingonBoyneStreet;theedificeinwhichIsatwasexpensive,gaveforthnodistinctivenote;seeminglytransitorywithitshybridinterior,itsshinyoakandblueandredorgan-pipes,betokeningacompromisedandweakenedfaith.Nondescript,likewise,seemedthenewminister,Mr.Randlett,asheprayedunctuouslyinfrontoftheflowersmassedontheplatform.Ivaguelyresentedhislaudatoryreferencestomyfather.

Theoldchurch,withitsseverity,hadactuallystoodforsomething.ItwastheWestminsterCatechisminwoodandstone,andDr.Poundhadbeenthehumanincarnationofthatcatechism,thefitrepresentativeofawrathfulGod,amilitantshepherdwhohadguardedwithvigilancehisrespectableflock,whohadprotestedvehementlyagainstthesinsoftheworldbywhichtheyweresurrounded,againstthe"dogs,andsorcerers,andwhoremongers,andmurderersandidolaters,andwhosoeverlovethandmakethalie."HowDr.PoundwouldhaveputtheemphasisoftheEverlastingintothosewords!

AgainstwhatwasMr.Randlettprotesting?

Myglancewanderedtothepewswhichheldthecommitteesfromvariousorganizations,suchastheChamberofCommerceandtheBarAssociation,whichhadcometodohonourtomyfather.Andthere,differentiatedfromtheothers,Isawthespruce,alertfigureofTheodoreWatling.He,too,representedanewtypeandanewnote,——thistimeaforcefulnote,asecularnotethathadnotbelongedtotheoldchurch,andseemedlikewiseanomalisticinthenew

Duringthelong,slowjourneyinthecarriagetothecemeterymymotherdidnotraiseherveil.Itwasnotuntilshereachedoutandseizedmyhand,convulsively,thatIrealizedshewasstillapartofmyexistence.

InthedaysthatfollowedIbecameawarethatmyfather"sdeathhadremovedarestrictiveelement,thatIwasfreenowtotakewithoutcriticismoroppositionwhatevercourseinlifeImightdesire.ItmaybethatIhadapprehendedeventhenthathisprofessionalidealswouldnothavecoincidedwithmyown.Mingledwiththissenseofemancipationwasacuriousfeelingofregret,ofmourningforsomethingIhadnevervalued,somethingfixedanddependableforwhichhehadstood,arockandarefugeofwhichIhadneveravailedmyself!Whenhiswillwasopeneditwasfoundthatthepropertyhadbeenlefttomymotherduringherlifetime.ItwaslargerthanIhadthought,fourhundredthousanddollars,shrewdlyinvested,forthemostpart,incityrealestate.Myfatherhadbeenverysecretiveastomoneymatters,andmymotherhadnointerestinthem.

ThreeorfourdayslaterIreceivedinthemailatypewrittenlettersignedbyTheodoreWatling,expressingsympathyformybereavement,andaskingmetodropinonhim,downtown,beforeIshouldleavethecity.

IncontrasttothesomewhatdingyofficeswheremyfatherhadpractisedintheBlackwoodBlock,thequartersofWatling,FowndesandRiponontheeighthfloorofthenewDurrettBuildingweremoderntoadegree,finishedinoakandflooredwithmarble,witharailed-offspacewhereyoungwomenwithnimblefingersplayedceaselesslyontypewriters.OneoftheminformedmethatMr.Watlingwasbusy,butonreadingmycardaddedthatshewouldtakeitin.Meanwhile,incompanywithtwootherswhomayhavebeenclients,Iwaited.This,then,waswhatitmeanttobealawyerofimportance,tohave,likeaChesterfield,anante-roomwhereclientscooledtheirheelsandawaitedone"spleasure

Theyoungwomanreturned,andledmethroughacorridortoadooronwhichwaspaintedMr.Wailing.

Irecallhimtiltedbackinhischairinadebonnairmannerbesidehispolisheddesk,thehintofasmileonhislips;andleaningclosetohimwasayellow,owl-likepersonwhoseeyes,astheyturnedtome,gavetheimpressionofhavingstaredforyearsintohard,artificiallights.Mr.

Watlingrosebriskly.

"Howareyou,Hugh?"hesaid,thewarmthofhisgreetingtemperedbyjustthenoteofcondolencesuitabletomyblackclothes."I"mgladyoucame.

IwantedtoseeyoubeforeyouwentbacktoCambridge.ImustintroduceyoutoJudgeBering,ofourStateSupremeCourt.Judge,thisisMr.

Paret"sboy."

Thejudgelookedmeoverwithacertainslowimpressiveness,andgavemeasoftandfleshyhand.

"Gladtoknowyou,Mr.Paret.Yourfatherwasagreatlosstoourbar,"

hedeclared.

Idetectedinhistoneandmanneraslightreservationthatcouldnotbecalledpreciselyjudicialdignity;itwasasthough,inthesefewwords,hehadgonetothelimitofself-commitmentwithastranger——astrikingcontrasttotheconfidentialattitudetowardsMr.WatlinginwhichIhadsurprisedhim.

"Judge,"saidMr.Watling,sittingdownagain,"doyourecallthattimeweallwentuptoMr.Paret"shouseandtriedtoinducehimtorunformayor?Thatwasbeforeyouwentonthelowerbench."

Thejudgenoddedgloomily,caressinghiswatchchain,andsuddenlyrosetogo.

"Thatwillbeallright,then?"Mr.Watlinginquiredcryptically,withasmile.Theothermadeabarelyperceptibleinclinationoftheheadanddeparted.Mr.Watlinglookedatme."He"soneofthebestmenwehaveonthebenchto-day,"headded.Therewasatraceofapologyinhistone.

Hetalkedawhileofmyfather,towhom,sohesaid,hehadlookedupeversincehehadbeenadmittedtothebar.

"Itwouldbeapleasuretome,Hugh,aswellasamatterofpride,"hesaidcordially,butwithdignity,"tohaveMatthewParet"ssoninmyoffice.Isupposeyouwillbewishingtotakeyourmothersomewherethissummer,butifyoucaretocomehereintheautumn,youwillbewelcome.

Youwillbegin,ofcourse,asotheryoungmenbegin,——asIbegan.ButI

amabelieverinblood,andI"llbegladtohaveyou.Mr.FowndesandMr.Riponfeelthesameway."Heescortedmetothedoorhimself.

EverywhereIwentduringthatbriefvisithomeIwasstruckbychange,bythecrumblinganddecayofinstitutionsthatoncehadheldmeinthrall,bythesuperimpositionofaneworderthatasyethadassumednodefinitecharacter.Someoftheoldlandmarkshaddisappeared;therewerenewandaggressiveofficebuildings,newandaggressiveresidences,newandaggressivecitizenswholivedinthem,andofwhommymotherspokewithgentledeprecation.EvenClaremore,thatparadiseofmychildhood,hadgrownshrivelledandshabby,eventawdry,Ithought,whenwewentoutthereoneSundayafternoon;allthatoncerepresentedthemagicword"country"hadvanished.Theoldflatpiano,madeinPhiladelphiaagesago,thehorsehairchairsandsofahadbeenreplacedbyanondescriptfurnitureofthesortdisplayedbehindplate-glasswindowsofthecity"sstores:rocking-chairsonstands,upholsteredinclashingcolours,theircoiledspringsonlyhalfhiddenbytassels,and"ornamental"electricfixtures,insteadofthepolishedcoal-oillamps.CousinJennyhadgrownwhite,Williewasastaidbachelor,Helenanoldmaid,whileMaryhadmarriedatall,anaemicyoungmanwithglasses,WalterKinley,whomCousinRoberthadtakenintothestore.AsIcontemplatedtheBrecksoddquestionssuggestedthemselves:didhonestyandwarm-heartednessnecessarilyaccompanyalackofartistictaste?andwasvirtueitsownreward,afterall?Theydrewmymotherintothehouse,tookoffherwraps,setherdowninthemostcomfortablerocker,andinsistedonmakingheracupoftea.

Iwastouched.Ilovedthemstill,andyetIwasconsciousofreservationsconcerningthem.They,too,seemedalittleonthedefensivewithme,andonceinawhileMarywascausticinherremarks.

"IguessnothingbutNewYorkwillbegoodenoughforHughnow.He"llbetakingCousinSarahawayfromus."

"Notatall,mydear,"saidmymother,gently,"he"sgoingintoMr.

Watling"sofficenextautumn."

"TheodoreWatling?"demandedCousinRobert,pausinginhiscarving.

"Yes,Robert.Mr.WatlinghasbeengoodenoughtosaythathewouldliketohaveHugh.Isthereanything——?"

"Oh,I"moutofdate,Sarah,"CousinRobertreplied,vigorouslyseveringthelegoftheturkey."Thesemodernlawyersaretoosmartforme.

Watling"snoworsethantheothers,Isuppose,——onlyhe"sgotmoreability."

"I"veneverheardanythingagainsthim,"saidmymotherinapainedvoice."OnlytheotherdayMcAleryWillettcongratulatedmethatHughwasgoingtobewithhim."

"Youmustn"tmindRobert,Sarah,"putinCousinJenny,——aremarkreminiscentofotherdays.

"Dadhasanotionthathisgenerationistheonlyhonestone,"saidHelen,laughingly,asshepassedaplate.

Ihadgainedasenseofsuperiority,andIwasquiteindifferenttoCousinRobert"sopinionofMr.Watling,ofmodernlawyersingeneral.

Morethanonceawaveofself-congratulationsurgedthroughmethatIhadpossessedtheforesightandinitiativetogetoutofthewholesalegrocerybusinesswhiletherewasyettime.IlookedatWillie,stillfreckled,stillliteral,stillaplodder,atWalterKinley,andIthoughtofthedrabnessoftheirlives;atCousinRoberthimselfashesatsmokinghiscigarinthebay-windowonthatdarkFebruaryday,andsuddenlyIpitiedhim.Thesuspicionstruckmethathehadnotprosperedoflate,andthisdeepenedtoaconvictionashetalked.

"TheRepublicanPartyisgoingtothedogs,"heasserted.

"Itusedtobeanhonourableparty,butnowitisnobetterthantheother.Politicsareonlyconducted,now,forthepurposeofmakingunscrupulousmenrich,sir.ForyearsIfurnishedthiscitywithgoodgroceries,ifIdosayitmyself.Itookaprideinthefactthattheinmatesofthehospitals,yes,andthedependentpoorinthecity"sinstitutions,shouldhavehonestfood.Youcangetanythingoutofthecityifyouarewillingtopaythepoliticiansforit.Ilostmycitycontracts.Why?BecauseIrefusedtodealwithscoundrels.WeillandCompanyandotherunscrupulousupstartsarewillingtodoso,andpoisonthepoorandthesickwithadulteratedgroceries!ThefirstthingIknewwasthatthecityauditorwasholdingbackmybillsforsupplies,andpayingWeill"s.That"swhatpoliticsandbusiness,yes,sir,andthelaw,havecometointhesedays.Ifamanwantstosucceed,hemustturnintoarascal."

Iwasnotshocked,butIwassilent,uncomfortable,wishingthatitweretimetotakethetrainbacktothecity.CousinRobert"sfacewasmorewornthanIhadthought,andIcontrastedhiminevitablywiththeforcefulpersonwhousedtostand,inhiswornalpacacoat,onthepavementinfrontofhisstore,greetingwithclear-eyedcontenthisfellowmerchantsofthecity.WillieBreck,too,wassilent,andWalterKinleytookoffhisglassesandwipedthem.InthemeanwhileHelenhadleftthegroupinwhichmymothersat,and,approachingus,laidherhandsonherfather"sshoulders.

"Now,dad,"shesaid,inaffectionateremonstrance,"you"reexcitedaboutpoliticsagain,andyouknowitisn"tgoodforyou.Andbesides,they"renotworthit."

"You"reright,Helen,"hereplied.Underthepressureofherhandshemadeastrongefforttocontrolhimself,andturnedtoaddressmymotheracrosstheroom.

"I"mgettingtobeacrotchetyoldman,"hesaid."It"sagoodthingI

haveadaughtertoremindmeofit."

"Itisagoodthing,Robert,"saidmymother.

Duringtherestofourvisitheseemedtohaverecoveredsomethingofhisformerspiritsandpoise,takingrefugeinthepast.Theytalkedoftheirownyouth,offamilieswhosehouseshadbeenlandmarksontheSecondBank.

"I"mworriedaboutyourCousinRobert,Hugh,"mymotherconfidedtome,whenwewereatlengthseatedinthetrain."I"veheardrumoursthatthingsarenotsowellatthestoreastheymightbe."Welookedoutatthewinterlandscape,sodifferentfromthatonewhichhadthrilledeveryfibreofmybeinginthedayswhentherailroadonwhichwetravelledhadbeenawindingnarrowgauge.Theorchards——thosethatremained——werebare;stubbleprickedthefrozengroundwheretasselshadoncewavedinthehot,summerwind.Weflewbyrowafterrowofginger-bread,suburbanhousesbuilton"villaplots,"andIreadinlargelettersonahideoussign-board,"WoodbinePark."

"Hugh,haveyoueverheardanythingagainst——Mr.Watling?"

"No,mother,"Isaid."SofarasIknew,heisverymuchlookeduptobylawyersandbusinessmen.Heiscounsel,Ibelieve,forMr.Blackwood"sstreetcarlineonBoyneStreet.AndItoldyou,Ibelieve,thatImethimonceatMr.Kyme"s."

"PoorRobert!"shesighed."Isupposebusinesstroubledoesmakeonebitter,——I"veseenitsooften.ButIneverimaginedthatitwouldovertakeRobert,andathistimeoflife!Itisanoldandrespectedfirm,andwehavealwayshadaprideinit."

Thatnight,whenIwasgoingtobed,itwasevidentthatthesubjectwasstillinhermind.Sheclungtomyhandamoment.

"I,too,amafraidofthenew,Hugh,"shesaid,alittletremulously.

"Weallgrowso,asagecomeson."

"Butyouarenotold,mother,"Iprotested.

"Ihaveafeeling,sinceyourfatherhasgone,thatIhavelivedmylife,mydear,thoughI"dliketostaylongenoughtoseeyouhappilymarried——

tohavegrandchildren.Iwasnotyoungwhenyouwereborn."Andsheadded,afteralittlewhile,"Iknownothingaboutbusinessaffairs,andnow——nowthatyourfatherisnolongerhere,sometimesI"mafraid——"

"Afraidofwhat,mother?"

Shetriedtosmileatmethroughhertears.Wewereintheoldsitting-

room,surroundedbythebooks.

"Iknowit"sfoolish,anditisn"tthatIdon"ttrustyou.Iknowthatthesonofyourfathercouldn"tdoanythingthatwasnothonourable.AndyetIamafraidofwhattheworldisbecoming.Thecityisgrowingsofast,andsomanynewpeoplearecomingin.Thingsarenotthesame.

Robertisright,there.AndIhaveheardyourfathersaythesamething.

Hugh,promisemethatyouwilltrytorememberalwayswhathewas,andwhathewouldwishyoutobe!"

"Iwill,mother,"Ianswered."ButIthinkyouwouldfindthatCousinRobertexaggeratesalittle,makesthingsseemworsethantheyreallyare.Customschange,youknow.Andpoliticswereneverwell——Sundayschools."I,too,smiledalittle."Fatherknewthat.Andhewouldnevertakeanactivepartinthem."

"Hewastoofine!"sheexclaimed.

"Andnow,"Icontinued,"CousinRoberthashappenedtocomeincontactwiththemthroughbusiness.Thatiswhathasmadethedifferenceinhim.

Before,healwaysknewtheywerecorrupt,butherarelythoughtaboutthem."

"Hugh,"shesaidsuddenly,afterapause,"youmustrememberonething,——

thatyoucanaffordtobeindependent.IthankGodthatyourfatherhasprovidedforthat!"

Iwasdulyadmitted,thenextautumn,tothebarofmyownstate,andwasassignedtoadeskintheofficesofWatling,FowndesandRipon.LarryWeedwasmyimmediatesenioramongtheapprentices,andLarrywasahero-

worshipper.Icanseehimnow.Hesuggestedabullfrogashesatinthelittleroomwesharedincommon,hisarmsakimbooveralawbook,hislittlelegsdoubledunderhim,hisround,eyesfixedexpectantlyonthedoorway.AndevenifIhadnotbeenawareofmygoodfortuneinbeingconnectedwithsuchafirmasTheodoreWatling"s,Larrywouldshortlyhavebroughtithometome.DuringthoseweekswhenIwasmakingmyfirstdesperateattemptsatbriefingupthelawIwassometimesinterruptedbyhisexclamationswhencertainfigureswentbyinthecorridor.

"Say,Hugh,doyouknowwhothatwas?"

"No."

"MillerGorse."

"Who"she?"

"DoyoumeantosayyouneverheardofMillerGorse?"

"I"vebeenawayalongtime,"Iwouldanswerapologetically.ApersonofsomeimportanceamongmycontemporariesatHarvard,Ihadlookedforwardtoaresidenceinmynativecitywiththecomplacencyofonewhohasseensomethingoftheworld,——onlytofindthatIwastheleastinthenewkingdom.Anditwasakingdom.Larryopeneduptomesomethingofthesignificanceandextentofit,somethingoftheidentityofthemenwhocontrolledit.

"MillerGorse,"hesaidimpressively,"isthecounselfortherailroad."

"Whatrailroad?Youmeanthe——"Iwasadding,whenheinterruptedmepityingly.

"Afteryou"vebeenhereawhileyou"llfindoutthere"sonlyonerailroadinthisstate,sofaraspoliticsareconcerned.TheAshuelaandNorthern,theLakeShoreandtheothersdon"tcount."

Irefrainedfromaskinganymorequestionsatthattime,butafterwardsI