第19章

Shelookeddownandsighed；andtheypassedoutofthecrumblingoldplace，andslowlycrossedtothechurchyardentrance。Knightwasnothimself，andhecouldnotpretendtobe。Shehadnottoldall。

Hesupportedherlightlyoverthestile，andwaspracticallyasattentiveasalovercouldbe。Buttherehadpassedawayaglory，andthedreamwasnotasithadbeenofyore。PerhapsKnightwasnotshapedbyNatureforamarryingman。Perhapshislifelongconstrainttowardswomen，whichhehadattributedtoaccident，wasnotchanceafterall，butthenaturalresultofinstinctiveactssominuteastobeundiscernibleevenbyhimself。Orwhethertheroughdispellingofanybrightillusion，howeverimaginative，depreciatestherealandunexaggeratedbrightnesswhichappertainstoitsbasis，onecannotsay。CertainitwasthatKnight"sdisappointmentatfindinghimselfsecondorthirdinthefield，atElfride"smomentaryequivoque，andatherreluctancetobecandid，broughthimtothevergeofcynicism。

ChapterXXXIII

"OdaughterofBabylon，wastedwithmisery。"

AhabitofKnight"s，whennotimmediatelyoccupiedwithElfride——

towalkbyhimselfforhalfanhourorsobetweendinnerandbedtime——hadbecomefamiliartohisfriendsatEndelstow，Elfrideherselfamongthem。Whenhehadhelpedheroverthestile，shesaidgently，"Ifyouwishtotakeyourusualturnonthehill，Harry，Icanrundowntothehousealone。"

"Thankyou，Elfie；thenIthinkIwill。"

Herformdiminishedtoblacknessinthemoonlight，andKnight，afterremaininguponthechurchyardstileafewminuteslonger，turnedbackagaintowardsthebuilding。Hisusualcoursewasnowtolightacigarorpipe，andindulgeinaquietmeditation。Butto-nighthismindwastootensetobethinkitselfofsuchasolace。Hemerelywalkedroundtothesiteofthefallentower，andsathimselfdownuponsomeofthelargestoneswhichhadcomposedituntilthisday，whenthechainofcircumstanceoriginatedbyStephenSmith，whileintheemployofMr。Hewby，theLondonmanofart，hadbroughtaboutitsoverthrow。

PonderingonthepossibleepisodesofElfride"spastlife，andonhowhehadsupposedhertohavehadnopastjustifyingthename，hesatandregardedthewhitetombofyoungJethway，nowcloseinfrontofhim。Thesea，thoughcomparativelyplacid，couldasusualbeheardfromthispointalongthewholedistancebetweenpromontoriestotherightandleft，flounderingandentanglingitselfamongtheinsulatedstacksofrockwhichdottedthewater"sedge——themiserableskeletonsoftorturedoldcliffsthatwouldnotevenyetsuccumbtothewearandtearofthetides。

Asachangefromthoughtsnotofaverycheerfulkind，Knightattemptedexertion。Hestoodup，andpreparedtoascendtothesummitoftheruinousheapofstones，fromwhichamoreextendedoutlookwasobtainablethanfromtheground。Hestretchedouthisarmtoseizetheprojectingarrisofalargerblockthanordinary，andsohelphimselfup，whenhishandlightedplumpuponasubstancedifferinginthegreatestpossibledegreefromwhathehadexpectedtoseize——hardstone。Itwasstringyandentangled，andtraileduponthestone。Thedeepshadowfromtheaislewallpreventedhisseeinganythingheredistinctly，andhebeganguessingasanecessity。"Itisatressyspeciesofmossorlichen，"hesaidtohimself。

Butitlaylooselyoverthestone。

"Itisatuftofgrass，"hesaid。

Butitlackedtheroughnessandhumidityofthefinestgrass。

"Itisamason"swhitewash-brush。"

Suchbrushes，heremembered，weremorebristly；andhowevermuchusedinrepairingastructure，wouldnotberequiredinpullingonedown。

Hesaid，"Itmustbeathreadysilkfringe。"

Hefeltfurtherin。Itwassomewhatwarm。Knightinstantlyfeltsomewhatcold。

Tofindthecoldnessofinanimatematterwhereyouexpectwarmthisstartlingenough；butacoldertemperaturethanthatofthebodybeingrathertherulethantheexceptionincommonsubstances，ithardlyconveyssuchashocktothesystemasfindingwarmthwhereutterfrigidityisanticipated。

"Godonlyknowswhatitis，"hesaid。

Hefeltfurther，andinthecourseofaminuteputhishanduponahumanhead。Theheadwaswarm，butmotionless。Thethreadymasswasthehairofthehead——longandstraggling，showingthattheheadwasawoman"s。

Knightinhisperplexitystoodstillforamoment，andcollectedhisthoughts。Thevicar"saccountofthefallofthetowerwasthattheworkmenhadbeenunderminingitalltheday，andhadleftintheeveningintendingtogivethefinishingstrokethenextmorning。Halfanhouraftertheyhadgonetheunderminedanglecamedown。Thewomanwhowashalfburied，asitseemed，musthavebeenbeneathitatthemomentofthefall。

Knightleaptupandbeganendeavouringtoremovetherubbishwithhishands。Theheapoverlyingthebodywasforthemostpartfineanddusty，butinimmensequantity。Itwouldbeasavingoftimetorunforassistance。Hecrossedtothechurchyardwall，andhasteneddownthehill。

Alittlewaydownanintersectingroadpassedoverasmallridge，whichnowshowedupdarklyagainstthemoon，andthisroadhereformedakindofnotchinthesky-line。AtthemomentthatKnightarrivedatthecrossinghebeheldamanonthiseminence，comingtowardshim。Knightturnedasideandmetthestranger。

"Therehasbeenanaccidentatthechurch，"saidKnight，withoutpreface。"Thetowerhasfallenonsomebody，whohasbeenlyingthereeversince。Willyoucomeandhelp？"

"ThatIwill，"saidtheman。

"Itisawoman，"saidKnight，astheyhurriedback，"andIthinkwetwoareenoughtoextricateher。Doyouknowofashovel？"

"Thegrave-diggingshovelsareaboutsomewhere。Theyusedtostayinthetower。"

"Andtheremustbesomebelongingtotheworkmen。"

Theysearchedabout，andinanangleoftheporchfoundthreecarefullystowedaway。GoingroundtothewestendKnightsignifiedthespotofthetragedy。

"Weoughttohavebroughtalantern，"heexclaimed。"Butwemaybeabletodowithout。"Hesettoworkremovingthesuperincumbentmass。

Theotherman，wholookedonsomewhathelplesslyatfirst，nowfollowedtheexampleofKnight"sactivity，andremovedthelargerstoneswhichweremingledwiththerubbish。Butwithalltheireffortsitwasquitetenminutesbeforethebodyoftheunfortunatecreaturecouldbeextricated。Theyliftedherascarefullyastheycould，breathlesslycarriedhertoFelixJethway"stomb，whichwasonlyafewstepswestward，andlaidherthereon。

"Isshedeadindeed？"saidthestranger。

"Sheappearstobe，"saidKnight。"Whichisthenearesthouse？

Thevicarage，Isuppose。"

"Yes；butsinceweshallhavetocallasurgeonfromCastleBoterel，Ithinkitwouldbebettertocarryherinthatdirection，insteadofawayfromthetown。"

"Andisitnotmuchfurthertothefirsthousewecometogoingthatway，thantothevicarageortoTheCrags？"

"Notmuch，"thestrangerreplied。

"Supposewetakeherthere，then。AndIthinkthebestwaytodoitwouldbethus，ifyoudon"tmindjoininghandswithme。"

"Notintheleast；Iamgladtoassist。"

Makingakindofcradle，byclaspingtheirhandscrosswiseundertheinanimatewoman，theyliftedher，andwalkedonsidebysidedownapathindicatedbythestranger，whoappearedtoknowthelocalitywell。

"Ihadbeensittinginthechurchfornearlyanhour，"Knightresumed，whentheywereoutofthechurchyard。"AfterwardsI

walkedroundtothesiteofthefallentower，andsofoundher。

ItispainfultothinkIunconsciouslywastedsomuchtimeintheverypresenceofaperishing，flyingsoul。"

"Thetowerfellatdusk，diditnot？quitetwohoursago，I

think？"

"Yes。Shemusthavebeentherealone。Whatcouldhavebeenherobjectinvisitingthechurchyardthen？

"Itisdifficulttosay。"Thestrangerlookedinquiringlyintotherecliningfaceofthemotionlessformtheybore。"Wouldyouturnherroundforamoment，sothatthelightshinesonherface？"hesaid。

Theyturnedherfacetothemoon，andthemanlookedcloserintoherfeatures。"Why，Iknowher!"heexclaimed。

"Whoisshe？"

"Mrs。Jethway。Andthecottagewearetakinghertoisherown。

Sheisawidow；andIwasspeakingtoheronlythisafternoon。I

wasatCastleBoterelpost-office，andshecametheretopostaletter。Poorsoul!Letushurryon。"

"Holdmywristalittletighter。Wasnotthattombwelaidheronthetombofheronlyson？"

"Yes，itwas。Yes，Iseeitnow。Shewastheretovisitthetomb。Sincethedeathofthatsonshehasbeenadesolate，despondingwoman，alwaysbewailinghim。Shewasafarmer"swife，verywelleducated——agovernessoriginally，Ibelieve。"

Knight"sheartwasmovedtosympathy。HisownfortunesseemedinsomestrangewaytobeinterwovenwiththoseofthisJethwayfamily，throughtheinfluenceofElfrideoverhimselfandtheunfortunatesonofthathouse。Hemadenoreply，andtheystillwalkedon。

"Shebeginstofeelheavy，"saidthestranger，breakingthesilence。

"Yes，shedoes，"saidKnight；andafteranotherpauseadded，"I

thinkIhavemetyoubefore，thoughwhereIcannotrecollect。MayIaskwhoyouare？"

"Ohyes。IamLordLuxellian。Whoareyou？"

"IamavisitoratTheCrags——Mr。Knight。"

"Ihaveheardofyou，Mr。Knight。"

"AndIofyou，LordLuxellian。Iamgladtomeetyou。"

"Imaysaythesame。Iamfamiliarwithyournameinprint。"

"AndIwithyours。Isthisthehouse？"

"Yes。"

Thedoorwaslocked。Knight，reflectingamoment，searchedthepocketofthelifelesswoman，andfoundthereinalargekeywhich，onbeingappliedtothedoor，openediteasily。Thefirewasout，butthemoonlightenteredthequarriedwindow，andmadepatternsuponthefloor。Theraysenabledthemtoseethattheroomintowhichtheyhadenteredwasprettywellfurnished，itbeingthesameroomthatElfridehadvisitedalonetwoorthreeeveningsearlier。Theydepositedtheirstillburdenonanold-fashionedcouchwhichstoodagainstthewall，andKnightsearchedaboutforalamporcandle。Hefoundacandleonashelf，lightedit，andplaceditonthetable。

BothKnightandLordLuxellianexaminedthepalecountenanceattentively，andbothwerenearlyconvincedthattherewasnohope。Nomarksofviolencewerevisibleinthecasualexaminationtheymade。

"IthinkthatasIknowwhereDoctorGransonlives，"saidLordLuxellian，"Ihadbetterrunforhimwhilstyoustayhere。"

Knightagreedtothis。LordLuxellianthenwentoff，andhishurryingfootstepsdiedaway。Knightcontinuedbendingoverthebody，andafewminuteslongerofcarefulscrutinyperfectlysatisfiedhimthatthewomanwasfarbeyondthereachofthelancetandthedrug。Herextremitieswerealreadybeginningtogetstiffandcold。Knightcoveredherface，andsatdown。

Theminuteswentby。Theessayistremainedmusingonalltheoccurrencesofthenight。Hiseyesweredirecteduponthetable，andhehadseenforsometimethatwriting-materialswerespreaduponit。Henownoticedthesemoreparticularly:therewereaninkstand，pen，blotting-book，andnote-paper。Severalsheetsofpaperwerethrustasidefromtherest，uponwhichlettershadbeenbegunandrelinquished，asiftheirformhadnotbeensatisfactorytothewriter。Astickofblacksealing-waxandsealweretheretoo，asiftheordinaryfasteninghadnotbeenconsideredsufficientlysecure。Theabandonedsheetsofpaperlyingastheydidopenuponthetable，madeitpossible，ashesat，toreadthefewwordswrittenoneach。Oneranthus:

"SIR，——Asawomanwhowasonceblestwithadearsonofherown，I

imploreyoutoacceptawarning——"

Another:

"SIR，——Ifyouwilldeigntoreceivewarningfromastrangerbeforeitistoolatetoalteryourcourse，listento——"

Thethird:

"SIR，——WiththisletterIenclosetoyouanotherwhich，unaidedbyanyexplanationfromme，tellsastartlingtale。Iwish，however，toaddafewwordstomakeyourdelusionyetmorecleartoyou——

"

Itwasplainthat，aftertheserenouncedbeginnings，afourthletterhadbeenwrittenanddespatched，whichhadbeendeemedaproperone。Uponthetableweretwodropsofsealing-wax，thestickfromwhichtheyweretakenhavingbeenlaiddownoverhangingtheedgeofthetable；theendofitdrooped，showingthatthewaxwasplacedtherewhilstwarm。Therewasthechairinwhichthewriterhadsat，theimpressionoftheletter"saddressupontheblotting-paper，andthepoorwidowwhohadcausedtheseresultslyingdeadhardby。KnighthadseenenoughtoleadhimtotheconclusionthatMrs。Jethway，havingmatterofgreatimportancetocommunicatetosomefriendoracquaintance，hadwrittenhimaverycarefulletter，andgoneherselftopostit；thatshehadnotreturnedtothehousefromthattimeofleavingittillLordLuxellianandhimselfhadbroughtherbackdead。

Theunutterablemelancholyofthewholescene，ashewaitedon，silentandalone，didnotaltogetherclashwiththemoodofKnight，eventhoughhewastheaffiancedofafairandwinninggirl，andthoughsolatelyhehadbeeninhercompany。Whilstsittingontheremainsofthedemolishedtowerhehaddefinedanewsensation；thatthelengthenedcourseofinactionhehadlatelybeenindulginginonElfride"saccountmightprobablynotbegoodforhimasamanwhohadworktodo。Itcouldquicklybeputanendtobyhasteningonhismarriagewithher。

Knight，inhisownopinion，wasonewhohadmissedhismarkbyexcessiveaiming。Havingnow，toagreatextent，givenupidealambitions，hewishedearnestlytodirecthispowersintoamorepracticalchannel，andthuscorrecttheintrospectivetendencieswhichhadneverbroughthimselfmuchhappiness，ordonehisfellow-creaturesanygreatgood。Tomakeastartinthisnewdirectionbymarriage，which，sinceknowingElfride，hadbeensoentrancinganidea，waslessexquisiteto-night。Thatthecurtailmentofhisillusionregardingherhadsomethingtodowiththereaction，andwiththereturnofhisoldsentimentsonwastingtime，ismorethanprobable。ThoughKnight"shearthadsogreatlymasteredhim，themasterywasnotsocompleteastobeeasilymaintainedinthefaceofamoderateintellectualrevival。

Hisreveriewasbrokenbythesoundofwheels，andahorse"stramp。Thedooropenedtoadmitthesurgeon，LordLuxellian，andaMr。Coole，coronerforthedivision(whohadbeenattendingatCastleBoterelthatveryday，andwashavinganafter-dinnerchatwiththedoctorwhenLordLuxellianarrived)；nextcametwofemalenursesandsomeidlers。

Mr。Granson，afteracursoryexamination，pronouncedthewomandeadfromsuffocation，inducedbyintensepressureontherespiratoryorgans；andarrangementsweremadethattheinquiryshouldtakeplaceonthefollowingmorning，beforethereturnofthecoronertoSt。Launce"s。

Shortlyafterwardsthehouseofthewidowwasdesertedbyallitslivingoccupants，andsheabodeindeath，asshehadinherlifeduringthepasttwoyears，entirelyalone。

ChapterXXXIV

"Yea，happyshallhebethatrewardeththeeasthouhastservedus。"

Sixteenhourshadpassed。Knightwasenteringtheladies"boudoiratTheCrags，uponhisreturnfromattendingtheinquesttouchingthedeathofMrs。Jethway。Elfridewasnotintheapartment。

Mrs。Swancourtmadeafewinquiriesconcerningtheverdictandcollateralcircumstances。Thenshesaid——

"Thepostmancamethismorningtheminuteafteryouleftthehouse。Therewasonlyoneletterforyou，andIhaveithere。"

Shetookaletterfromthelidofherworkbox，andhandedittohim。Knighttookthemissiveabstractedly，butstruckbyitsappearancemurmuredafewwordsandlefttheroom。

Theletterwasfastenedwithablackseal，andthehandwritinginwhichitwasaddressedhadlainunderhiseyes，longandprominently，onlytheeveningbefore。

Knightwasgreatlyagitated，andlookedaboutforaspotwherehemightbesecurefrominterruption。Itwastheseasonofheavydews，whichlayontheherbageinshadyplacesallthedaylong；

nevertheless，heenteredasmallpatchofneglectedgrass-platenclosedbytheshrubbery，andthereperusedtheletter，whichhehadopenedonhiswaythither。

Thehandwriting，theseal，thepaper，theintroductorywords，allhadtoldontheinstantthattheletterhadcometohimfromthehandsofthewidowJethway，nowdeadandcold。Hehadinstantlyunderstoodthattheunfinishednoteswhichcaughthiseyeyesternightwereintendedfornobodybuthimself。HehadrememberedsomeofthewordsofElfrideinhersleeponthesteamer，thatsomebodywasnottotellhimofsomething，oritwouldbeherruin——acircumstancehithertodeemedsotrivialandmeaninglessthathehadwell-nighforgottenit。Allthesethingsinfusedintohimanemotionintenseinpowerandsupremelydistressinginquality。Thepaperinhishandquiveredasheread:

"THEVALLEY，ENDELSTOW。

"SIR，——Awomanwhohasnotmuchintheworldtolosebyanycensurethisactmaybringuponher，wishestogiveyousomehintsconcerningaladyyoulove。Ifyouwilldeigntoacceptawarningbeforeitistoolate，youwillnoticewhatyourcorrespondenthastosay。

"Youaredeceived。Cansuchawomanasthisbeworthy？

"Onewhoencouragedanhonestyouthtoloveher，thenslightedhim，sothathedied。

"Onewhonexttookamanofnobirthasalover，whowasforbiddenthehousebyherfather。

"Onewhosecretlyleftherhometobemarriedtothatman，methim，andwentwithhimtoLondon。

"Onewho，forsomereasonorother，returnedagainunmarried。

"Onewho，inherafter-correspondencewithhim，wentsofarastoaddresshimasherhusband。

"Onewhowrotetheenclosedlettertoaskme，whobetterthananybodyelseknowsthestory，tokeepthescandalasecret。

"Ihopesoontobebeyondthereachofeitherblameorpraise。

ButbeforeremovingmeGodhasputitinmypowertoavengethedeathofmyson。

"GERTRUDEJETHWAY。"

TheletterenclosedwasthenoteinpencilthatElfridehadwritteninMrs。Jethway"scottage:

"DEARMRS。JETHWAY，——Ihavebeentovisityou。Iwantedmuchtoseeyou，butIcannotwaitanylonger。Icametobegyounottoexecutethethreatsyouhaverepeatedtome。Donot，Ibeseechyou，Mrs。Jethway，letanyoneknowIranawayfromhome!Itwouldruinmewithhim，andbreakmyheart。Iwilldoanythingforyou，ifyouwillbekindtome。Inthenameofourcommonwomanhood，donot，Iimploreyou，makeascandalofme——Yours，"E。SWANCOURT。

Knightturnedhisheadwearilytowardsthehouse。Thegroundroserapidlyonnearingtheshrubberyinwhichhestood，raisingitalmosttoalevelwiththefirstfloorofTheCrags。Elfride"sdressing-roomlayinthesalientangleinthisdirection，anditwaslightedbytwowindowsinsuchapositionthat，fromKnight"sstanding-place，hissightpassedthroughbothwindows，andrakedtheroom。Elfridewasthere；shewaspausingbetweenthetwowindows，lookingatherfigureinthecheval-glass。Sheregardedherselflongandattentivelyinfront；turned，flungbackherhead，andobservedthereflectionoverhershoulder。

Nobodycanpredicateastoherobjectorfancy；shemayhavedonethedeedintheveryabstractionofdeepsadness。Shemayhavebeenmoaningfromthebottomofherheart，"HowunhappyamI!"ButtheimpressionproducedonKnightwasnotagoodone。Hedroppedhiseyesmoodily。Thedeadwoman"sletterhadavirtueintheaccidentofitsjuncturefarbeyondanyitintrinsicallyexhibited。Circumstancelenttoevilwordsaringofpitilessjusticeechoingfromthegrave。Knightcouldnotenduretheirpossession。Hetoretheletterintofragments。

Heheardabrushingamongthebushesbehind，andturninghisheadhesawElfridefollowinghim。Thefairgirllookedinhisfacewithawistfulsmileofhope，tooforcedlyhopefultodisplacethefirmlyestablisheddreadbeneathit。Hisseverewordsofthepreviousnightstillsatheavyuponher。

"Isawyoufrommywindow，Harry，"shesaidtimidly。

"Thedewwillmakeyourfeetwet，"heobserved，asonedeaf。

"Idon"tmindit。"

"Thereisdangeringettingwetfeet。"

"Yes……Harry，whatisthematter？"

"Oh，nothing。ShallIresumetheseriousconversationIhadwithyoulastnight？No，perhapsnot；perhapsIhadbetternot。"

"Oh，Icannottell!Howwretcheditallis!Ah，Iwishyouwereyourowndearselfagain，andhadkissedmewhenIcameup!Whydidn"tyouaskmeforone？whydon"tyounow？"

"Toofreeinmannerbyhalf，"heheardmurmurthevoicewithinhim。

"Itwasthathatefulconversationlastnight，"shewenton。"Oh，thosewords!Lastnightwasablacknightforme。"

"Kiss!——Ihatethatword!Don"ttalkofkissing，forGod"ssake!I

shouldthinkyoumightwithadvantagehaveshowntactenoughtokeepbackthatword"kiss，"consideringthoseyouhaveaccepted。"

Shebecameverypale，andarigidanddesolatecharacterytookpossessionofherface。Thatfacewassodelicateandtenderinappearancenow，thatonecouldfancythepressureofafingeruponitwouldcausealividspot。

Knightwalkedon，andElfridewithhim，silentandunopposing。Heopenedagate，andtheyenteredapathacrossastubble-field。

"PerhapsIintrudeuponyou？"shesaidasheclosedthegate。

"ShallIgoaway？"

"No。Listentome，Elfride。"Knight"svoicewaslowandunequal。

"Ihavebeenhonestwithyou:willyoubesowithme？Ifany——

strange——connectionhasexistedbetweenyourselfandapredecessorofmine，tellitnow。ItisbetterthatIknowitnow，eventhoughtheknowledgeshouldpartus，thanthatIshoulddiscoveritintimetocome。Andsuspicionshavebeenawakenedinme。I

thinkIwillnotsayhow，becauseIdespisethemeans。A

discoveryofanymysteryofyourpastwouldembitterourlives。"

Knightwaitedwithaslowmannerofcalmness。Hiseyesweresadandimperative。Theywentfartheralongthepath。

"WillyouforgivemeifItellyouall？"sheexclaimedentreatingly。

"Ican"tpromise；somuchdependsuponwhatyouhavetotell。"

Elfridecouldnotendurethesilencewhichfollowed。

"Areyounotgoingtoloveme？"sheburstout。"Harry，Harry，loveme，andspeakasusual!Do；Ibeseechyou，Harry!"

"Areyougoingtoactfairlybyme？"saidKnight，withrisinganger；"orareyounot？WhathaveIdonetoyouthatIshouldbeputofflikethis？Becaughtlikeabirdinaspringe；everythingintendedtobehiddenfromme!Whyisit，Elfride？That"swhatI

askyou。"

Intheiragitationtheyhadleftthepath，andwerewanderingamongthewetandobstructivestubble，withoutknowingorheedingit。

"WhathaveIdone？"shefaltered。

"What？Howcanyouaskwhat，whenyouknowsowell？YouKNOWthatIhavedesignedlybeenkeptinignoranceofsomethingattachingtoyou，which，hadIknownofit，mighthavealteredallmyconduct；

andyetyousay，what？"

Shedroopedvisibly，andmadenoanswer。

"NotthatIbelieveinmaliciousletter-writersandwhisperers；

notI。Idon"tknowwhetherIdoordon"t:uponmysoul，Ican"ttell。Iknowthis:areligionwasbuildingitselfuponyouinmyheart。Ilookedintoyoureyes，andthoughtIsawtheretruthandinnocenceaspureandperfectaseverembodiedbyGodinthefleshofwoman。Perfecttruthistoomuchtoexpect，butordinarytruthIWILLHAVEornothingatall。Justsay，then；isthematteryoukeepbackofthegravestimportance，orisitnot？"

"Idon"tunderstandallyourmeaning。IfIhavehiddenanythingfromyou，ithasbeenbecauseIlovedyouso，andIfeared——

feared——toloseyou。"

"Sinceyouarenotgiventoconfidence，Iwanttoaskyousomeplainquestions。HaveIyourpermission？"

"Yes，"shesaid，andtherecameoverherfaceawearyresignation。

"Saytheharshestwordsyoucan；Iwillbearthem!"

"Thereisascandalintheairconcerningyou，Elfride；andI

cannotevencombatitwithoutknowingdefinitelywhatitis。Itmaynotrefertoyouentirely，orevenatall。"Knighttrifledintheverybitternessofhisfeeling。"InthetimeoftheFrenchRevolution，Pariseau，aballet-master，wasbeheadedbymistakeforParisot，acaptainoftheKing"sGuard。Iwishtherewasanother"E。Swancourt"intheneighbourhood。Lookatthis。"

HehandedherthelettershehadwrittenandleftonthetableatMrs。Jethway"s。Shelookedoveritvacantly。

"Itisnotsomuchasitseems!"shepleaded。"Itseemswickedlydeceptivetolookatnow，butithadamuchmorenaturaloriginthanyouthink。Mysolewishwasnottoendangerourlove。O

Harry!thatwasallmyidea。Itwasnotmuchharm。"

"Yes，yes；butindependentlyofthepoormiserablecreature"sremarks，itseemstoimply——somethingwrong。"

"Whatremarks？"

"Thoseshewroteme——nowtorntopieces。Elfride，DIDyourunawaywithamanyouloved？——thatwasthedamnablestatement。Hassuchanaccusationlifeinit——really，truly，Elfride？"

"Yes，"shewhispered。

Knight"scountenancesank。"Tobemarriedtohim？"camehuskilyfromhislips。

"Yes。Oh，forgiveme!Ihadneverseenyou，Harry。"

"ToLondon？"

"Yes；butI——"

"Answermyquestions；saynothingelse，ElfrideDidyoueverdeliberatelytrytomarryhiminsecret？"

"No；notdeliberately。"

"Butdidyoudoit？"

Afeebleredpassedoverherface。

"Yes，"shesaid。

"Andafterthat——didyou——writetohimasyourhusband；anddidheaddressyouashiswife？"

"Listen，listen!Itwas——"

"Doanswerme；onlyanswerme!"

"Then，yes，wedid。"Herlipsshook；butitwaswithsomelittledignitythatshecontinued:"Iwouldgladlyhavetoldyou；forI

knewandknowIhaddonewrong。ButIdarednot；Ilovedyoutoowell。Oh，sowell!Youhavebeeneverythingintheworldtome——

andyouarenow。Willyounotforgiveme？"

Itisamelancholythought，thatmenwhoatfirstwillnotallowtheverdictofperfectiontheypronounceupontheirsweetheartsorwivestobedisturbedbyGod"sowntestimonytothecontrary，will，oncesuspectingtheirpurity，morallyhangthemuponevidencetheywouldbeashamedtoadmitinjudgingadog。

Thereluctancetotell，whicharosefromElfride"ssimplicityinthinkingherselfsomuchmoreculpablethanshereallywas，hadbeendoingfatalworkinKnight"smind。Themanofmanyideas，nowthathisfirstdreamofimpossiblethingswasover，vibratedtoofarinthecontrarydirection；andhereverymovementoffeature——everytremor——everyconfusedword——wastakenassomuchproofofherunworthiness。

"Elfride，wemustbidgood-byetocompliment，"saidKnight:"wemustdowithoutpolitenessnow。Lookinmyface，andasyoubelieveinGodabove，tellmetrulyonethingmore。Wereyouawayalonewithhim？"

"Yes。"

"Didyoureturnhomethesamedayonwhichyouleftit？"

"No。"

Thewordfelllikeabolt，andtheverylandandskyseemedtosuffer。Knightturnedaside。MeantimeElfride"scountenanceworealookindicatingutterdespairofbeingabletoexplainmatterssothattheywouldseemnomorethantheyreallywere，——adespairwhichnotonlyrelinquishesthehopeofdirectexplanation，butwearilygivesupallcollateralchancesofextenuation。

ThescenewasengravedforyearsontheretinaofKnight"seye:

thedeadandbrownstubble，theweedsamongit，thedistantbeltofbeechesshuttingouttheviewofthehouse，theleavesofwhichwerenowredandsicktodeath。

"Youmustforgetme，"hesaid。"Weshallnotmarry，Elfride。"

Howmuchanguishpassedintohersoulatthosewordsfromhimwastoldbythelookofsupremetortureshewore。

"Whatmeaninghaveyou，Harry？Youonlysayso，doyou？"

Shelookeddoubtinglyupathim，andtriedtolaugh，asiftheunrealityofhiswordsmustbeunquestionable。

"Youarenotinearnest，Iknow——Ihopeyouarenot？SurelyI

belongtoyou，andyouaregoingtokeepmeforyours？"

"Elfride，Ihavebeenspeakingtooroughlytoyou；IhavesaidwhatIoughtonlytohavethought。Ilikeyou；andletmegiveyouawordofadvice。Marryyourmanassoonasyoucan。Howeverwearyofeachotheryoumayfeel，youbelongtoeachother，andI

amnotgoingtostepbetweenyou。DoyouthinkIwould——doyouthinkIcouldforamoment？Ifyoucannotmarryhimnow，andanothermakesyouhiswife，donotrevealthissecrettohimaftermarriage，ifyoudonotbefore。Honestywouldbedamnationthen。"

Bewilderedbyhisexpressions，sheexclaimed——

"No，no；IwillnotbeawifeunlessIamyours；andImustbeyours!"

"Ifwehadmarried——"

"Butyoudon"tMEAN——that——that——youwillgoawayandleaveme，andnotbeanythingmoretome——oh，youdon"t!"

Convulsivesobstookallnerveoutofherutterance。Shecheckedthem，andcontinuedtolookinhisfacefortherayofhopethatwasnottobefoundthere。

"Iamgoingindoors，"saidKnight。"Youwillnotfollowme，Elfride；Iwishyounotto。"

"Ohno；indeed，Iwillnot。"

"AndthenIamgoingtoCastleBoterel。Good-bye。"

Hespokethefarewellasifitwerebutfortheday——lightly，ashehadspokensuchtemporaryfarewellsmanytimesbefore——andsheseemedtounderstanditassuch。Knighthadnotthepowertotellherplainlythathewasgoingforever；hehardlyknewforcertainthathewas:whetherheshouldrushbackagainuponthecurrentofanirresistibleemotion，orwhetherhecouldsufficientlyconquerhimself，andherinhim，toestablishthatpartingasasupremefarewell，andpresenthimselftotheworldagainasnowoman"s。

Tenminuteslaterhehadleftthehouse，leavingdirectionsthatifhedidnotreturnintheeveninghisluggagewastobesenttohischambersinLondon，whenceheintendedtowritetoMr。

Swancourtastothereasonsofhissuddendeparture。Hedescendedthevalley，andcouldnotforbearturninghishead。Hesawthestubble-field，andaslightgirlishfigureinthemidstofit——upagainstthesky。Elfride，docileasever，hadhardlymovedastep，forhehadsaid，Remain。Helookedandsawheragain——hesawherforweeksandmonths。Hewithdrewhiseyesfromthescene，swepthishandacrossthem，asiftobrushawaythesight，breathedalowgroan，andwenton。

ChapterXXXV

"Andwiltthouleavemethus？——saynay——saynay!"

ThesceneshiftstoKnight"schambersinBede"sInn。ItwaslateintheeveningofthedayfollowinghisdeparturefromEndelstow。

AdrizzlingraindescendeduponLondon，formingahumidanddrearyhaloovereverywell-lightedstreet。Therainhadnotyetbeenprevalentlongenoughtogivetorapidvehiclesthatclearanddistinctrattlewhichfollowsthethoroughwashingofthestonesbyadrenchingrain，butwasjustsufficienttomakefootwayandroadwayslippery，adhesive，andcloggingtobothfeetandwheels。

Knightwasstandingbythefire，lookingintoitsexpiringembers，previouslytoemergingfromhisdoorforadrearyjourneyhometoRichmond。Hishatwason，andthegasturnedoff。Theblindofthewindowoverlookingthealleywasnotdrawndown；andwiththelightfrombeneath，whichshoneovertheceilingoftheroom，came，inplaceoftheusualbabble，onlythereducedclatterandquickspeechwhichweretheresultofnecessityratherthanchoice。

Whilsthethusstood，waitingfortheexpirationofthefewminutesthatwerewantingtothetimeforhiscatchingthetrain，alighttappinguponthedoormingledwiththeothersoundsthatreachedhisears。Itwassofaintatfirstthattheouternoiseswerealmostsufficienttodrownit。FindingitrepeatedKnightcrossedthelobby，crowdedwithbooksandrubbish，andopenedthedoor。

Awoman，closelymuffledup，butvisiblyoffragilebuild，wasstandingonthelandingunderthegaslight。Shesprangforward，flungherarmsroundKnight"sneck，andutteredalowcry——

"OHarry，Harry，youarekillingme!Icouldnothelpcoming。

Don"tsendmeaway——don"t!ForgiveyourElfrideforcoming——Iloveyouso!"

Knight"sagitationandastonishmentmasteredhimforafewmoments。

"Elfride!"hecried，"whatdoesthismean？Whathaveyoudone？"

"Donothurtmeandpunishme——Oh，donot!Icouldn"thelpcoming；

itwaskillingme。Lastnight，whenyoudidnotcomeback，I

couldnotbearit——Icouldnot!Onlyletmebewithyou，andseeyourface，Harry；Idon"taskformore。"

Hereyelidswerehot，heavy，andthickwithexcessiveweeping，andthedelicaterose-redofhercheekswasdisfiguredandinflamedbytheconstantchafingofthehandkerchiefinwipinghermanytears。

"Whoiswithyou？Haveyoucomealone？"hehurriedlyinquired。

"Yes。Whenyoudidnotcomelastnight，Isatuphopingyouwouldcome——andthenightwasallagony——andIwaitedonandon，andyoudidnotcome!Thenwhenitwasmorning，andyourlettersaidyouweregone，Icouldnotendureit；andIranawayfromthemtoSt。

Launce"s，andcamebythetrain。AndIhavebeenalldaytravellingtoyou，andyouwon"tmakemegoawayagain，willyou，Harry，becauseIshallalwaysloveyoutillIdie？"

"Yetitiswrongforyoutostay。OElfride!whathaveyoucommittedyourselfto？Itisruintoyourgoodnametoruntomelikethis!Hasnotyourfirstexperiencebeensufficienttokeepyoufromthesethings？"

"Myname!Harry，Ishallsoondie，andwhatgoodwillmynamebetomethen？Oh，couldIbutbethemanandyouthewoman，Iwouldnotleaveyouforsuchalittlefaultasmine!Donotthinkitwassovileathinginmetorunawaywithhim。Ah，howIwishyoucouldhaverunawaywithtwentywomenbeforeyouknewme，thatI

mightshowyouIwouldthinkitnofault，butbegladtogetyouafterthemall，sothatIhadyou!Ifyouonlyknewmethroughandthrough，howtrueIam，Harry。CannotIbeyours？Sayyoulovemejustthesame，anddon"tletmebeseparatedfromyouagain，willyou？Icannotbearit——allthelonghoursanddaysandnightsgoingon，andyounotthere，butawaybecauseyouhateme!"

"Nothateyou，Elfride，"hesaidgently，andsupportedherwithhisarm。"Butyoucannotstayherenow——justatpresent，Imean。"

"IsupposeImustnot——IwishImight。Iamafraidthatif——youlosesightofme——somethingdarkwillhappen，andweshallnotmeetagain。Harry，ifIamnotgoodenoughtobeyourwife，I

wishIcouldbeyourservantandlivewithyou，andnotbesentawaynevertoseeyouagain。Idon"tmindwhatitisexceptthat!"