第18章

"EventhoughIwishyouhadnevercaredforonebeforeme？"

"Yes。Andyoumustnotwishit。Don"t!"

"I"lltrynotto，Elfride。"

Soshehoped，butherheartwastroubled。Ifhefeltsodeeplyonthispoint，whatwouldhesaydidheknowall，andseeitasMrs。

Jethwaysawit？Hewouldnevermakeherthehappiestgirlintheworldbytakinghertobehisownforaye。Thethoughtenclosedherasatombwheneveritpresenteditselftoherperturbedbrain。

ShetriedtobelievethatMrs。Jethwaywouldneverdohersuchacruelwrongastoincreasethebadappearanceofherfollybyinnuendoes；andconcludedthatconcealment，havingbeenbegun，mustbepersistedin，ifpossible。Forwhathemightconsiderasbadasthefact，washerpreviousconcealmentofitbystrategy。

ButElfrideknewMrs。Jethwaytobeherenemy，andtohateher。

Itwaspossibleshewoulddoherworst。Andshouldshedoit，allmightbeover。

Wouldthewomanlistentoreason，andbepersuadednottoruinonewhohadneverintentionallyharmedher？

ItwasnightinthevalleybetweenEndelstowCragsandtheshore。

Thebrookwhichtrickledthatwaytotheseawasdistinctinitsmurmursnow，andoverthelineofitscoursetherebegantohangawhiteribandoffog。Againstthesky，onthelefthandofthevale，theblackformofthechurchcouldbeseen。Ontheotherrosehazel-bushes，afewtrees，andwherethesewereabsent，furzetufts——astallasmen——onstemsnearlyasstoutastimber。Theshriekofsomebirdwasoccasionallyheard，asitflewterror-

strickenfromitsfirstroost，toseekanewsleeping-place，whereitmightpassthenightunmolested。

Intheeveningshade，somewaydownthevalley，andunderarowofscrubbyoaks，acottagecouldstillbediscerned。Itstoodabsolutelyalone。Thehousewasratherlarge，andthewindowsofsomeoftheroomswerenailedupwithboardsontheoutside，whichgaveaparticularlydesertedappearancetothewholeerection。

Fromthefrontdooranirregularseriesofroughandmisshapensteps，cutinthesolidrock，leddowntotheedgeofthestreamlet，which，attheirextremity，washollowedintoabasinthroughwhichthewatertrickled。Thiswasevidentlythemeansofwatersupplytothedwellerordwellersinthecottage。

Alightfootstepwashearddescendingfromthehigherslopesofthehillside。Indistinctinthepathwayappearedamovingfemaleshape，whoadvancedandknockedtimidlyatthedoor。Noanswerbeingreturnedtheknockwasrepeated，withthesameresult，anditwasthenrepeatedathirdtime。Thisalsowasunsuccessful。

Fromoneoftheonlytwowindowsonthegroundfloorwhichwerenotboardedupcameraysoflight，noshutterorcurtainobscuringtheroomfromtheeyesofapasserontheoutside。Sofewwalkedthatwayafternightfallthatanysuchmeanstosecuresecrecywereprobablydeemedunnecessary。

Theinequalityoftheraysfallinguponthetreesoutsidetoldthatthelighthaditsorigininaflickeringfireonly。Thevisitor，afterthethirdknocking，steppedalittletotheleftinordertogainaviewoftheinterior，andthrewbackthehoodfromherface。ThedancingyellowsheenrevealedthefairandanxiouscountenanceofElfride。

Insidethehousethisfirelightwasenoughtoilluminetheroomdistinctly，andtoshowthatthefurnitureofthecottagewassuperiortowhatmighthavebeenexpectedfromsounpromisinganexterior。ItalsoshowedtoElfridethattheroomwasempty。

Beyondthelightquiverandflapoftheflamesnothingmovedorwasaudibletherein。

Sheturnedthehandleandentered，throwingoffthecloakwhichenvelopedher，underwhichsheappearedwithouthatorbonnet，andinthesortofhalf-toilettecountrypeopleordinarilydinein。

Thenadvancingtothefootofthestaircaseshecalleddistinctly，butsomewhatfearfully，"Mrs。Jethway!"

Noanswer。

Withalookofreliefandregretcombined，denotingthateasecametotheheartanddisappointmenttothebrain，Elfridepausedforseveralminutes，asifundecidedhowtoact。Determiningtowait，shesatdownonachair。Theminutesdrewon，andaftersittingonthethornsofimpatienceforhalfanhour，shesearchedherpocket，tooktherefromaletter，andtoreofftheblankleaf。

Thentakingoutapencilshewroteuponthepaper:

"DEARMRS。JETHWAY，——Ihavebeentovisityou。Iwantedmuchtoseeyou，butIcannotwaitanylonger。Icametobegyounottoexecutethethreatsyouhaverepeatedtome。Donot，Ibeseechyou，Mrs。Jethway，letanyoneknowIranawayfromhome!Itwouldruinmewithhim，andbreakmyheart。Iwilldoanythingforyou，ifyouwillbekindtome。Inthenameofourcommonwomanhood，donot，Iimploreyou，makeascandalofme——Yours，E。

SWANCOURT。"

Shefoldedthenotecornerwise，directedit，andplaceditonthetable。Thenagaindrawingthehoodoverhercurlyheadsheemergedsilentlyasshehadcome。

WhilstthisepisodehadbeeninactionatMrs。Jethway"scottage，Knighthadgonefromthedining-roomintothedrawing-room，andfoundMrs。Swancourttherealone。

"Elfridehasvanishedupstairsorsomewhere，"shesaid。

"AndIhavebeenreadinganarticleinanoldnumberofthePRESENTthatIlightedonbychanceashorttimeago；itisanarticleyouoncetolduswasyours。Well，Harry，withduedeferencetoyourliterarypowers，allowmetosaythatthiseffusionisallnonsense，inmyopinion。"

"Whatisitabout？"saidKnight，takingupthepaperandreading。

"There:don"tgetredaboutit。Ownthatexperiencehastaughtyoutobemorecharitable。Ihaveneverreadsuchunchivalroussentimentsinmylife——fromaman，Imean。There，Iforgiveyou；

itwasbeforeyouknewElfride。"

"Ohyes，"saidKnight，lookingup。"Iremembernow。Thetextofthatsermonwasnotmyownatall，butwassuggestedtomebyayoungmannamedSmith——thesamewhomIhavementionedtoyouascomingfromthisparish。Ithoughttheidearatheringeniousatthetime，andenlargedittotheweightofafewguineas，becauseIhadnothingelseinmyhead。"

"Whichideadoyoucallthetext？Iamcurioustoknowthat。"

"Well，this，"saidKnight，somewhatunwillingly。"Thatexperienceteaches，andyoursweetheart，nolessthanyourtailor，isnecessarilyveryimperfectinherduties，ifyouareherfirstpatron:andconversely，thesweetheartwhoisgracefulundertheinitialkissmustbesupposedtohavehadsomepracticeinthetrade。"

"Anddoyoumeantosaythatyouwrotethatuponthestrengthofanotherman"sremark，withouthavingtesteditbypractice？"

"Yes——indeedIdo。"

"ThenIthinkitwasuncalledforandunfair。Andhowdoyouknowitistrue？Iexpectyouregretitnow。"

"Sinceyoubringmeintoaseriousmood，Iwillspeakcandidly。I

dobelievethatremarktobeperfectlytrue，and，havingwrittenit，Iwoulddefenditanywhere。ButIdooftenregrethavingeverwrittenit，aswellasothersofthesort。Ihavegrownoldersince，andIfindsuchatoneofwritingiscalculatedtodoharmintheworld。EveryliteraryJackbecomesagentlemanifhecanonlypenafewindifferentsatiresuponwomankind:womenthemselves，too，havetakentothetrick；andso，uponthewhole，Ibegintoberatherashamedofmycompanions。"

"Ah，Henry，youhavefalleninlovesinceanditmakesadifference，"saidMrs。Swancourtwithafainttoneofbanter。

"That"strue；butthatisnotmyreason。"

"Havingfoundthat，inacaseofyourownexperience，aso-calledgoosewasaswan，itseemsabsurdtodenysuchapossibilityinothermen"sexperiences。"

"Youcanhitpalpably，cousinCharlotte，"saidKnight。"Youareliketheboywhoputsastoneinsidehissnowball，andIshallplaywithyounolonger。Excuseme——Iamgoingformyeveningstroll。"

ThoughKnighthadspokenjestingly，thisincidentandconversationhadcausedhimasuddendepression。Coming，rathersingularly，justafterhisdiscoverythatElfridehadknownwhatitwastolovewarmlybeforeshehadknownhim，hisminddweltuponthesubject，andthefamiliarpipehesmoked，whilstpacingupanddowntheshrubbery-path，failedtobeasolace。Hethoughtagainofthoseidlewords——hithertoquiteforgotten——aboutthefirstkissofagirl，andthetheoryseemedmorethanreasonable。OfcoursetheirstingnowlayintheirbearingonElfride。

Elfride，underKnight"skiss，hadcertainlybeenaverydifferentwomanfromherselfunderStephen"s。Whetherforgoodorforill，shehadmarvellouslywelllearntabetrothedlady"spart；andthefascinatingfinishofherdeportmentinthissecondcampaigndidprobablyarisefromherunreservedencouragementofStephen。

Knight，withalltherapidityofjealoussensitiveness，pounceduponsomewordsshehadinadvertentlyletfallaboutanearring，whichhehadonlypartiallyunderstoodatthetime。Itwasduringthat"initialkiss"bythelittlewaterfall:

"Wemustbecareful。Ilosttheotherbydoingthis!"

Aflushwhichhadinitasmuchofwoundedprideasofsorrow，passedoverKnightashethoughtofwhathehadsofrequentlysaidtoherinhissimplicity。"Ialwaysmeanttobethefirstcomerinawoman"sheart，freshlipsornoneforme。"Howchildishlyblindhemusthaveseemedtothismeregirl!Howshemusthavelaughedathiminwardly!Heabsolutelywrithedashethoughtoftheconfessionshehadwrungfromhimontheboatinthedarknessofnight。Theoneconceptionwhichhadsustainedhisdignitywhendrawnoutofhisshellonthatoccasion——thatofhercharmingignoranceofallsuchmatters——howabsurditwas!

Thisman，whoseimaginationhadbeenfeduptopreternaturalsizebylonelystudyandsilentobservationsofhiskind——whoseemotionshadbeendrawnoutlonganddelicatebyhisseclusion，likeplantsinacellar——wasnowabsolutelyinpain。Moreover，severalyearsofpoeticstudy，and，ifthetruthmustbetold，poeticefforts，hadtendedtodeveloptheaffectivesideofhisconstitutionstillfurther，inproportiontohisactivefaculties。

ItwashisbeliefintheabsolutenewnessofblandishmenttoElfridewhichhadconstitutedherprimarycharm。Hebegantothinkitwasashardtobeearliestinawoman"sheartasitwastobefirstinthePoolofBethesda。

ThatKnightshouldhavebeenthusconstituted:thatElfride"ssecondlovershouldnothavebeenoneofthegreatmassofbustlingmankind，littlegiventointrospection，whosegood-naturemighthavecompensatedforanylackofappreciativeness，wasthechanceofthings。Thatherthrobbing，self-confounding，indiscreetheartshouldhavetodefenditselfunaidedagainstthekeenscrutinyandlogicalpowerwhichKnight，nowthathissuspicionswereawakened，wouldsoonerorlaterbesuretoexerciseagainsther，washermisfortune。Amiserableincongruitywasapparentinthecircumstanceofastrongmindpractisingitsunerringarcheryuponaheartwhichtheownerofthatmindlovedbetterthanhisown。

Elfride"sdociledevotiontoKnightwasnowitsownenemy。

Clingingtohimsodependently，shetaughthimintimetopresumeuponthatdevotion——alessonmenarenotslowtolearn。Aslightrebelliousnessoccasionallywouldhavedonehimnoharm，andwouldhavebeenaworldofadvantagetoher。Butsheidolizedhim，andwasproudtobehisbond-servant。

ChapterXXXI

"Awormi"thebud。"

Onedaythereviewersaid，"Letusgotothecliffsagain，Elfride；"and，withoutconsultingherwishes，hemovedasiftostartatonce。

"Thecliffofourdreadfuladventure？"sheinquired，withashudder。"Deathstaresmeinthefaceinthepersonofthatcliff。"

Nevertheless，soentirelyhadshesunkherindividualityinhisthattheremarkwasnotutteredasanexpostulation，andsheimmediatelypreparedtoaccompanyhim。

"No，notthatplace，"saidKnight。"Itisghastlytome，too。

Thatother，Imean；whatisitsname？——WindyBeak。"

WindyBeakwasthesecondcliffinheightalongthatcoast，and，asisfrequentlythecasewiththenaturalfeaturesoftheglobenolessthanwiththeintellectualfeaturesofmen，itenjoyedthereputationofbeingthefirst。Moreover，itwastheclifftowhichElfridehadriddenwithStephenSmith，onawell-rememberedmorningofhissummervisit。

So，thoughthoughtoftheformercliffhadcausedhertoshudderattheperilstowhichherloverandherselfhadtherebeenexposed，bybeingassociatedwithKnightonlyitwasnotsoobjectionableasWindyBeak。Thatplacewasworsethangloomy，itwasaperpetualreproachtoher。

Butnotlikingtorefuse，shesaid，"Itisfurtherthantheothercliff。"

"Yes；butyoucanride。"

"Andwillyoutoo？"

"No，I"llwalk。"

AduplicateofheroriginalarrangementwithStephen。Somefatalitymustbehangingoverherhead。Butsheceasedobjecting。

"Verywell，Harry，I"llride，"shesaidmeekly。

Aquarterofanhourlatershewasinthesaddle。Buthowdifferentthemoodfromthatoftheformertime。Shehad，indeed，givenupherpositionasqueenofthelesstobevassalofthegreater。Herewasnoshowingoffnow；noscamperingoutofsightwithPansy，toperplexandtirehercompanion；nosaucyremarksonLABELLEDAMESANSMERCI。Elfridewasburdenedwiththeveryintensityofherlove。

Knightdidmostofthetalkingalongthejourney。Elfridesilentlylistened，andentirelyresignedherselftothemotionsoftheamblinghorseuponwhichshesat，alternatelyrisingandsinkinggently，likeaseabirduponaseawave。

Whentheyhadreachedthelimitofaquadruped"spossibilitiesinwalking，Knighttenderlyliftedherfromthesaddle，tiedthehorse，andrambledonwithhertotheseatintherock。Knightsatdown，anddrewElfridedeftlybesidehim，andtheylookedoverthesea。

Twoorthreedegreesabovethatmelancholyandeternallylevelline，theoceanhorizon，hungasunofbrass，withnovisiblerays，inaskyofashenhue。Itwasaskythesundidnotilluminateorenkindle，asisusualatsunsets。Thissheetofskywasmetbythesaltmassofgraywater，fleckedhereandtherewithwhite。Awaftofdampnessoccasionallyrosetotheirfaces，whichwasprobablyrarefiedsprayfromtheblowsoftheseauponthefootofthecliff。

ElfridewisheditcouldbealongertimeagothatshehadsattherewithStephenasherlover，andagreedtobehiswife。Thesignificantclosenessofthattimetothepresentwasanotheritemtoaddtothelistofpassionatefearswhichwerechronicwithhernow。

YetKnightwasverytenderthisevening，andsustainedherclosetohimastheysat。

Notawordhadbeenutteredbyeithersincesittingdown，whenKnightsaidmusingly，lookingstillafar——

"Iwonderifanyloversinpastyearseversatherewitharmslocked，aswedonow。Probablytheyhave，fortheplaceseemsformedforaseat。"

Herrecollectionofawell-knownpairwhohad，andthemuch-

talked-oflosswhichhadensuedtherefrom，andhowtheyoungmanhadbeensentbacktolookforthemissingarticle，ledElfridetoglancedowntoherside，andbehindherback。Manypeoplewholoseatrinketinvoluntarilygiveamomentarylookforitinpassingthespoteversolongafterwards。Theydonotoftenfindit。Elfride，inturningherhead，sawsomethingshineweaklyfromacreviceintherockysedile。Onlyforafewminutesduringthedaydidthesunlightthealcovetoitsinnermostriftsandslits，buttheseweretheminutesnow，anditslevelraysdidElfridethegoodorevilturnofrevealingthelostornament。

Elfride"sthoughtsinstantlyrevertedtothewordsshehadunintentionallyuttereduponwhathadbeengoingonwhentheearringwaslost。AndshewasimmediatelyseizedwithamisgivingthatKnight，onseeingtheobject，wouldberemindedofherwords。

Herinstinctiveactthereforewastosecureitprivately。

ItwassodeepinthecrackthatElfridecouldnotpullitoutwithherhand，thoughshemadeseveralsurreptitioustrials。

"Whatareyoudoing，Elfie？"saidKnight，noticingherattempts，andlookingbehindhimlikewise。

Shehadrelinquishedtheendeavour，buttoolate。

Knightpeeredintothejointfromwhichherhandhadbeenwithdrawn，andsawwhatshehadseen。Heinstantlytookapenknifefromhispocket，andbydintofprobingandscrapingbroughttheearringoutuponopenground。

"Itisnotyours，surely？"heinquired。

"Yes，itis，"shesaidquietly。

"Well，thatisamostextraordinarything，thatweshouldfinditlikethis!"Knightthenrememberedmorecircumstances；"What，isittheoneyouhavetoldmeof？"

"Yes。"

Theunfortunateremarkofhersatthekisscameintohismind，ifeyeswereeveranindextobetrusted。Tryingtorepressthewordsheyetspokeonthesubject，moretoobtainassurancethatwhatithadseemedtoimplywasnottruethanfromawishtopryintobygones。

"Wereyoureallyengagedtobemarriedtothatlover？"hesaid，lookingstraightforwardattheseaagain。

"Yes——butnotexactly。YetIthinkIwas。"

"OElfride，engagedtobemarried!"hemurmured。

"Itwouldhavebeencalleda——secretengagement，Isuppose。Butdon"tlooksodisappointed；don"tblameme。"

"No，no。"

"Whydoyousay"No，no，"insuchaway？Sweetlyenough，butsobarely？"

Knightmadenodirectreplytothis。"Elfride，Itoldyouonce，"

hesaid，followingouthisthoughts，"thatIneverkissedawomanasasweetheartuntilIkissedyou。Akissisnotmuch，I

suppose，andithappenstofewyoungpeopletobeabletoavoidallblandishmentsandattentionsexceptfromtheonetheyafterwardsmarry。ButIhavepeculiarweaknesses，Elfride；andbecauseIhaveledapeculiarlife，Imustsufferforit，I

suppose。Ihadhoped——well，whatIhadnorighttohopeinconnectionwithyou。Younaturallygrantedyourformerlovertheprivilegesyougrantme。"

A"yes"camefromherlikethelastsadwhisperofabreeze。

"Andheusedtokissyou——ofcoursehedid。"

"Yes。"

"Andperhapsyouallowedhimamorefreemannerinhislove-makingthanIhaveshowninmine。"

"No，Ididnot。"Thiswasrathermorealertlyspoken。

"Butheadopteditwithoutbeingallowed？"

"Yes。"

"HowmuchIhavemadeofyou，Elfride，andhowIhavekeptaloof!"

saidKnightindeepandshakentones。"SomanydaysandhoursasIhavehopedinyou——Ihavefearedtokissyoumorethanthosetwotimes。Andhemadenoscruplesto……"

Shecreptclosertohimandtrembledasifwithcold。Herdreadthatthewholestory，withrandomadditions，wouldbecomeknowntohim，causedhermannertobesoagitatedthatKnightwasalarmedandperplexedintostillness。Theactualinnocencewhichmadeherthinksofearfullyofwhat，astheworldgoes，wasnotagreatmatter，magnifiedherapparentguilt。ItmayhavesaidtoKnightthatawomanwhowassoflurriedinthepreliminariesmusthaveadreadfulsequeltohertale。

"Iknow，"continuedKnight，withanindescribabledragofmannerandintonation，——"IknowIamabsurdlyscrupulousaboutyou——thatIwantyoutooexclusivelymine。Inyourpastbeforeyouknewme——

fromyourverycradle——Iwantedtothinkyouhadbeenmine。I

wouldmakeyouminebymainforce。Elfride，"hewentonvehemently，"Ican"thelpthisjealousyoveryou!Itismynature，andmustbeso，andIHATEthefactthatyouhavebeencaressedbefore:yeshateit!"

Shedrewalongdeepbreath，whichwashalfasob。Knight"sfacewashard，andheneverlookedatheratall，stillfixinghisgazefarouttosea，whichthesunhadnowresignedtotheshade。Inhighplacesitisnotlongfromsunsettonight，duskbeinginameasurebanished，andthoughonlyeveningwheretheysat，ithadbeentwilightinthevalleysforhalfanhour。Uponthedullexpanseofseatheregraduallyintensifieditselfintoexistencethegleamofadistantlight-ship。

"Whenthatloverfirstkissedyou，Elfridewasitinsuchaplaceasthis？"

"Yes，itwas。"

"Youdon"ttellmeanythingbutwhatIwringoutofyou。Whyisthat？Whyhaveyousuppressedallmentionofthiswhencasualconfidencesofmineshouldhavesuggestedconfidenceinreturn？OnboardtheJuliet，whywereyousosecret？Itseemslikebeingmadeafoolof，Elfride，tothinkthat，whenIwasteachingyouhowdesirableitwasthatweshouldhavenosecretsfromeachother，youwereassentinginwords，butinactcontradictingme。

Confidencewouldhavebeensomuchmorepromisingforourhappiness。Ifyouhadhadconfidenceinme，andtoldmewillingly，Ishould——bedifferent。Butyousuppresseverything，andIshallquestionyou。DidyouliveatEndelstowatthattime？"

"Yes，"shesaidfaintly。

"Wherewereyouwhenhefirstkissedyou？"

"Sittinginthisseat。"

"Ah，Ithoughtso!"saidKnight，risingandfacingher。

"Andthataccountsforeverything——theexclamationwhichyouexplaineddeceitfully，andall!Forgivetheharshword，Elfride——

forgiveit。"Hesmiledasurfacesmileashecontinued:"WhatapoormortalIamtoplaysecondfiddleineverythingandtobedeludedbyfibs!"

"Oh，don"tsayit；don"t，Harry!"

"Wheredidhekissyoubesideshere？"

"Sittingon——atombinthe——churchyard——andotherplaces，"sheansweredwithslowrecklessness。

"Nevermind，nevermind，"heexclaimed，onseeinghertearsandperturbation。"Idon"twanttogrieveyou。Idon"tcare。"

ButKnightdidcare。

"Itmakesnodifference，youknow，"hecontinued，seeingshedidnotreply。

"Ifeelcold，"saidElfride。"Shallwegohome？"

"Yes；itislateintheyeartositlongoutofdoors:weoughttobeoffthisledgebeforeitgetstoodarktoletusseeourfooting。Idaresaythehorseisimpatient。"

Knightspokethemerestcommonplacetohernow。Hehadhopedtothelastmomentthatshewouldhavevolunteeredthewholestoryofherfirstattachment。Itgrewmoreandmoredistastefultohimthatsheshouldhaveasecretofthisnature。Suchentireconfidenceashehadpicturedasabouttoexistbetweenhimselfandtheinnocentyoungwifewhohadknownnolover"stonessavehis——wasthisitsbeginning？Heliftedheruponthehorse，andtheywentalongconstrainedly。Thepoisonofsuspicionwasdoingitsworkwell。

Anincidentoccurredonthishomewardjourneywhichwaslongrememberedbyboth，asaddingshadetoshadow。KnightcouldnotkeepfromhismindthewordsofAdam"sreproachtoEveinPARADISE

LOST，andatlastwhisperedthemtohimself——

"Fool"dandbeguiled:byhimthou，Ibythee!"

"Whatdidyousay？"Elfrideinquiredtimorously。

"Itwasonlyaquotation。"

Theyhadnowdroppedintoahollow，andthechurchtowermadeitsappearanceagainstthepaleeveningsky，itslowerpartbeinghiddenbysomeinterveningtrees。Elfride，beingdeniedananswer，waslookingatthetowerandtryingtothinkofsomecontrastingquotationshemightusetoregainhistenderness。

Afteralittlethoughtshesaidinwinningtones——

"Thouhastbeenmyhope，andastrongtowerformeagainsttheenemy。”"

Theypassedon。Afewminuteslaterthreeorfourbirdswereseentoflyoutofthetower。

"Thestrongtowermoves，"saidKnight，withsurprise。

Acornerofthesquaremassswayedforward，sank，andvanished。A

loudrumblefollowed，andacloudofdustarosewhereallhadpreviouslybeensoclear。

"Thechurchrestorershavedoneit!"saidElfride。

AtthisminuteMr。Swancourtwasseenapproachingthem。Hecameupwithabustlingdemeanour，apparentlymuchengrossedbysomebusinessinhand。

"Wehavegotthetowerdown!"heexclaimed。"Itcameratherquickerthanweintendeditshould。Thefirstideawastotakeitdownstonebystone，youknow。Indoingthisthecrackwidenedconsiderably，anditwasnotbelievedsafeforthementostanduponthewallsanylonger。Thenwedecidedtoundermineit，andthreemensettoworkattheweakestcornerthisafternoon。Theyhadleftofffortheevening，intendingtogivethefinalblowto-

morrowmorning，andhadbeenhomeabouthalfanhour，whendownitcame。Averysuccessfuljob——averyfinejobindeed。Buthewasatougholdfellowinspiteofthecrack。"HereMr。Swancourtwipedfromhisfacetheperspirationhisexcitementhadcausedhim。

"Pooroldtower!"saidElfride。

"Yes，Iamsorryforit，"saidKnight。"Itwasaninterestingpieceofantiquity——alocalrecordoflocalart。"

"Ah，butmydearsir，weshallhaveanewone，expostulatedMr。

Swancourt；"asplendidtower——designedbyafirst-rateLondonman——

intheneweststyleofGothicart，andfullofChristianfeeling。"

"Indeed!"saidKnight。

"Ohyes。Notinthebarbarousclumsyarchitectureofthisneighbourhood；youseenothingsoroughandpagananywhereelseinEngland。Whenthemenaregone，Iwouldadviseyoutogoandseethechurchbeforeanythingfurtherisdonetoit。Youcannowsitinthechancel，andlookdownthenavethroughthewestarch，andthroughthatfarouttosea。Infact，"saidMr。Swancourtsignificantly，"ifaweddingwereperformedatthealtarto-morrowmorning，itmightbewitnessedfromthedeckofashiponavoyagetotheSouthSeas，withagoodglass。However，afterdinner，whenthemoonhasrisen，goupandseeforyourselves。"

Knightassentedwithfeverishreadiness。HehaddecidedwithinthelastfewminutesthathecouldnotrestanothernightwithoutfurthertalkwithElfrideuponthesubjectwhichnowdividedthem:

hewasdeterminedtoknowall，andrelievehisdisquietinsomeway。Elfridewouldgladlyhaveescapedfurtherconversealonewithhimthatnight，butitseemedinevitable。

Justaftermoonrisetheyleftthehouse。Howlittleanyexpectationofthemoonlightprospect——whichwastheostensiblereasonoftheirpilgrimage——hadtodowithKnight"srealmotiveingettingthegentlegirlagainuponhisarm，Elfridenolessthanhimselfwellknew。

ChapterXXXII

"HadIwistbeforeIkist"

ItwasnowOctober，andthenightairwaschill。Afterlookingtoseethatshewaswellwrappedup，Knighttookheralongthehillsidepaththeyhadascendedsomanytimesineachother"scompany，whendoubtwasathingunknown。Onreachingthechurchtheyfoundthatonesideofthetowerwas，asthevicarhadstated，entirelyremoved，andlyingintheshapeofrubbishattheirfeet。Thetoweronitseasternsidestillwasfirm，andmighthavewithstoodtheshockofstormsandthesiegeofbatteringyearsformanyagenerationevennow。Theyenteredbytheside-door，wenteastward，andsatdownbythealtar-steps。

Theheavyarchspanningthejunctionoftowerandnaveformedto-

nightablackframetoadistantmistyview，stretchingfarwestward。Justoutsidethearchcametheheapoffallenstones，thenaportionofmoonlitchurchyard，thenthewideandconvexseabehind。Itwasacoup-d"oeilwhichhadneverbeenpossiblesincethemediaevalmasonsfirstattachedtheoldtowertotheolderchurchitdignified，andhencemustbesupposedtohavehadaninterestapartfromthatofsimplemoonlightonancientwallandseaandshore——anymentionofwhichhasbythistime，itistobefeared，becomeoneofthecuckoo-crieswhichareheardbutnotregarded。Raysofcrimson，blue，andpurpleshoneuponthetwainfromtheeastwindowbehindthem，whereinsaintsandangelsviedwitheachotherinprimitivesurroundingsoflandscapeandsky，andthrewuponthepavementatthesitters"feetasofterreproductionofthesametranslucenthues，amidwhichtheshadowsofthetwolivingheadsofKnightandElfridewereopaqueandprominentblots。Presentlythemoonbecamecoveredbyacloud，andtheiridescencediedaway。

"There，itisgone!"saidKnight。"I"vebeenthinking，Elfride，thatthisplacewesitoniswherewemayhopetokneeltogethersoon。ButIamrestlessanduneasy，andyouknowwhy。"

Beforesherepliedthemoonlightreturnedagain，irradiatingthatportionofchurchyardwithintheirview。Itbrightenedthenearpartfirst，andagainstthebackgroundwhichthecloud-shadowhadnotyetuncoveredstood，brightestofall，awhitetomb——thetombofyoungJethway。

Knight，stillaliveonthesubjectofElfride"ssecret，thoughtofherwordsconcerningthekissthatitoncehadoccurredonatombinthischurchyard。

"Elfride，"hesaid，withasuperficialarchnesswhichdidnothalfcoveranundercurrentofreproach，"doyouknow，Ithinkyoumighthavetoldmevoluntarilyaboutthatpast——ofkissesandbetrothing——withoutgivingmesomuchuneasinessandtrouble。Wasthatthetombyoualludedtoashavingsatonwithhim？"

Shewaitedaninstant。"Yes，"shesaid。

ThecorrectnessofhisrandomshotstartledKnight；though，consideringthatalmostalltheothermemorialsinthechurchyardwereuprightheadstonesuponwhichnobodycouldpossiblysit，itwasnotsowonderful。

Elfridedidnotevennowgoonwiththeexplanationherexactingloverwishedtohave，andherreticencebegantoirritatehimasbefore。Hewasinclinedtoreadheralecture。

"Whydon"tyoutellmeall？"hesaidsomewhatindignantly。

"Elfride，thereisnotasinglesubjectuponwhichIfeelmorestronglythanuponthis——thateverythingoughttobeclearedupbetweentwopersonsbeforetheybecomehusbandandwife。Seehowdesirableandwisesuchacourseis，inordertoavoiddisagreeablecontingenciesintheformofdiscoveriesafterwards。

For，Elfride，asecretofnoimportanceatallmaybemadethebasisofsomefatalmisunderstandingonlybecauseitisdiscovered，andnotconfessed。Theysaythereneverwasacoupleofwhomonehadnotsomesecrettheotherneverkneworwasintendedtoknow。Thismayormaynotbetrue；butifitbetrue，somehavebeenhappyinspiteratherthaninconsequenceofit。

Ifamanweretoseeanothermanlookingsignificantlyathiswife，andshewereblushingcrimsonandappearingstartled，doyouthinkhewouldbesowellsatisfiedwith，forinstance，hertruthfulexplanationthatonce，tohergreatannoyance，sheaccidentallyfaintedintohisarms，asifshehadsaiditvoluntarilylongago，beforethecircumstanceoccurredwhichforceditfromher？Supposethatadmireryouspokeofinconnectionwiththetombyondershouldturnup，andbotherme。Itwouldembitterourlives，ifIwerethenhalfinthedark，asIamnow!"

Knightspokethelattersentenceswithgrowingforce。

"Itcannotbe，"shesaid。

"Whynot？"heaskedsharply。

Elfridewasdistressedtofindhiminsosternamood，andshetrembled。Inaconfusionofideas，probablynotintendingawilfulprevarication，sheansweredhurriedly——

"Ifhe"sdead，howcanyoumeethim？"

"Ishedead？Oh，that"sdifferentaltogether!"saidKnight，immenselyrelieved。"But，letmesee——whatdidyousayaboutthattombandhim？"

"That"shistomb，"shecontinuedfaintly。

"What!washewholiesburiedtherethemanwhowasyourlover？"

Knightaskedinadistinctvoice。

"Yes；andIdidn"tlovehimorencouragehim。"

"Butyoulethimkissyou——yousaidso，youknow，Elfride。"

Shemadenoreply。

"Why，"saidKnight，recollectingcircumstancesbydegrees，"yousurelysaidyouwereinsomedegreeengagedtohim——andofcourseyouwereifhekissedyou。Andnowyousayyouneverencouragedhim。AndIhavebeenfancyingyousaid——Iamalmostsureyoudid——

thatyouweresittingwithhimONthattomb。GoodGod!"hecried，suddenlystartingupinanger，"areyoutellingmeuntruths？Whyshouldyouplaywithmelikethis？I"llhavetherightofit。Elfride，weshallneverbehappy!There"sablightuponus，orme，oryou，anditmustbeclearedoffbeforewemarry。"Knightmovedawayimpetuouslyasiftoleaveher。

Shejumpedupandclutchedhisarm"Don"tgo，Harry——don"t!

"Tellme，then，"saidKnightsternly。"Andrememberthis，nomorefibs，or，uponmysoul，Ishallhateyou。Heavens!thatIshouldcometothis，tobemadeafoolofbyagirl"suntruths——"

"Don"t，don"ttreatmesocruelly!OHarry，Harry，havepity，andwithdrawthosedreadfulwords!Iamtruthfulbynature——Iam——andIdon"tknowhowIcametomakeyoumisunderstand!ButIwasfrightened!"Shequiveredsoinherperturbationthatsheshookhimwithher{Note:sentenceincompleteintext。}

"Didyousayyouweresittingonthattomb？"heaskedmoodily。

"Yes；anditwastrue。"

"Thenhow，inthenameofHeaven，canamansituponhisowntomb？"

"Thatwasanotherman。Forgiveme，Harry，won"tyou？"

"What，aloverinthetombandaloveronit？"

"Oh——Oh——yes!"

"Thenthereweretwobeforeme？

"I——supposeso。"

"Now，don"tbeasillywomanwithyoursupposing——Ihateallthat，"saidKnightcontemptuouslyalmost。"Well，welearnstrangethings。Idon"tknowwhatImighthavedone——nomancansayintowhatshapecircumstancesmaywarphim——butIhardlythinkIshouldhavehadtheconsciencetoacceptthefavoursofanewloverwhilstsittingoverthepoorremainsoftheoldone；uponmysoul，Idon"t。"Knight，inmoodymeditation，continuedlookingtowardsthetomb，whichstoodstaringtheminthefacelikeanavengingghost。

"Butyouwrongme——Oh，sogrievously!"shecried。"Ididnotmeditateanysuchthing:believeme，Harry，Ididnot。Itonlyhappenedso——quiteofitself。"

"Well，Isupposeyoudidn"tINTENDsuchathing，"hesaid。

"Nobodyeverdoes，"hesadlycontinued。

"AndhiminthegraveIneveronceloved。"

"Isupposethesecondloverandyou，asyousatthere，vowedtobefaithfultoeachotherforever？"

Elfrideonlyrepliedbyquickheavybreaths，showingshewasonthebrinkofasob。

"Youdon"tchoosetobeanythingbutreserved，then？"hesaidimperatively。

"Ofcoursewedid，"sheresponded。

""Ofcourse!"Youseemtotreatthesubjectverylightly？"

"Itispast，andisnothingtousnow。"

"Elfride，itisanothingwhich，thoughitmaymakeacarelessmanlaugh，cannotbutmakeagenuineonegrieve。Itisaverygnawingpain。Tellmestraightthrough——allofit。"

"Never。OHarry!howcanyouexpectitwhensolittleofitmakesyousoharshwithme？"

"Now，Elfride，listentothis。Youknowthatwhatyouhavetoldonlyjarsthesubtlerfanciesinone，afterall。ThefeelingI

haveaboutitwouldbecalled，andis，meresentimentality；andI

don"twantyoutosupposethatanordinarypreviousengagementofastraightforwardkindwouldmakeanypracticaldifferenceinmylove，ormywishtomakeyoumywife。Butyouseemtohavemoretotell，andthat"swherethewrongis。Istheremore？"

"Notmuchmore，"shewearilyanswered。

Knightpreservedagravesilenceforaminute。""Notmuchmore，""

hesaidatlast。"Ishouldthinknot，indeed!"Hisvoiceassumedalowandsteadypitch。"Elfride，youmustnotmindmysayingastrange-soundingthing，forsayitIshall。Itisthis:thatifthereWEREmuchmoretoaddtoanaccountwhichalreadyincludesalltheparticularsthatabrokenmarriageengagementcouldpossiblyincludewithpropriety，itmustbesomeexceptionalthingwhichmightmakeitimpossibleformeoranyoneelsetoloveyouandmarryyou。"

Knight"sdisturbedmoodledhimmuchfurtherthanhewouldhavegoneinaquietermoment。And，evenasitwas，hadshebeenassertivetoanydegreehewouldnothavebeensoperemptory；andhadshebeenastrongercharacter——morepracticalandlessimaginative——shewouldhavemademoreuseofherpositioninhishearttoinfluencehim。Buttheconfidingtendernesswhichhadwonhimiseveraccompaniedbyasortofself-committaltothestreamofevents，leadingeverysuchwomantotrustmoretothekindnessoffateforgoodresultsthantoanyargumentofherown。

"Well，well，"hemurmuredcynically；"Iwon"tsayitisyourfault:itismyill-luck，Isuppose。Ihadnorealrighttoquestionyou——everybodywouldsayitwaspresuming。Butwhenwehavemisunderstood，wefeelinjuredbythesubjectofourmisunderstanding。Youneversaidyouhadhadnobodyelseheremakinglovetoyou，sowhyshouldIblameyou？Elfride，Ibegyourpardon。"

"No，no!Iwouldratherhaveyourangerthanthatcoolaggrievedpoliteness。Dodropthat，Harry!Whyshouldyouinflictthatuponme？Itreducesmetothelevelofamereacquaintance。"

"Youdothatwithme。Whynotconfidenceforconfidence？"

"Yes；butIdidn"taskyouasinglequestionwithregardtoyourpast:Ididn"twishtoknowaboutit。AllIcaredforwasthat，whereveryoucamefrom，whateveryouhaddone，whoeveryouhadloved，youweremineatlast。Harry，iforiginallyyouhadknownIhadloved，wouldyouneverhavecaredforme？"

"Iwon"tquitesaythat。ThoughIownthattheideaofyourinexperiencedstatehadagreatcharmforme。ButIthinkthis:

thatifIhadknowntherewasanyphaseofyourpastloveyouwouldrefusetorevealifIaskedtoknowit，Ishouldneverhavelovedyou。"

Elfridesobbedbitterly。"AmIsucha——merecharacterlesstoy——astohavenoattrac——tioninme，apartfrom——freshness？Haven"tI

brains？Yousaid——Iwascleverandingeniousinmythoughts，and——

isn"tthatanything？HaveInotsomebeauty？IthinkIhavealittle——andIknowIhave——yes，Ido!Youhavepraisedmyvoice，andmymanner，andmyaccomplishments。YetallthesetogetheraresomuchrubbishbecauseI——accidentallysawamanbeforeyou!"

"Oh，come，Elfride。"Accidentallysawaman"isverycool。Youlovedhim，remember。"——

"Andlovedhimalittle!"

"Andrefusenowtoanswerthesimplequestionhowitended。Doyourefusestill，Elfride？"

"Youhavenorighttoquestionmeso——yousaidso。Itisunfair。

TrustmeasItrustyou。"

"That"snotatall。"

"Ishallnotloveyouifyouaresocruel。Itiscrueltometoarguelikethis。"

"Perhapsitis。Yes，itis。Iwascarriedawaybymyfeelingforyou。HeavenknowsthatIdidn"tmeanto；butIhavelovedyousothatIhaveusedyoubadly。"

"Idon"tmindit，Harry!"sheinstantlyanswered，creepingupandnestlingagainsthim；"andIwillnotthinkatallthatyouusedmeharshlyifyouwillforgiveme，andnotbevexedwithmeanymore？IdowishIhadbeenexactlyasyouthoughtIwas，butI

couldnothelpit，youknow。IfIhadonlyknownyouhadbeencoming，whatanunneryIwouldhavelivedintohavebeengoodenoughforyou!"

"Well，nevermind，"saidKnight；andheturnedtogo。Heendeavouredtospeaksportivelyastheywenton。"DiogenesLaertiussaysthatphilosophersusedvoluntarilytodeprivethemselvesofsighttobeuninterruptedintheirmeditations。

Men，becominglovers，oughttodothesamething。"

"Why？——butnevermind——Idon"twanttoknow。Don"tspeaklaconicallytome，"shesaidwithdeprecation。

"Why？Becausetheywouldneverthenbedistractedbydiscoveringtheiridolwassecond-hand。"