第9章
Heshowedmeitspedigree，oritshistory，ifyouplease；
itwasadocumentwhichtracedthisplate"smovementsallthewaydownfromitsbirth——showedwhoboughtit，fromwhom，andwhathepaidforit——fromthefirstbuyerdowntome，wherebyIsawthatithadgonesteadilyupfromthirty-fivecentstosevenhundreddollars。HesaidthatthewholeCeramicworldwouldbeinformedthatitwasnowinmypossessionandwouldmakeanoteofit，withthepricepaid。[Figure8]
TherewereMastersinthosedays，but，alas——itisnotsonow。
Ofcoursethemainpreciousnessofthispieceliesinitscolor；
itisthatoldsensuous，pervading，ramifying，interpolating，transborealbluewhichisthedespairofmodernart。
ThelittlesketchwhichIhavemadeofthisgemcannotanddoesnotdoitjustice，sinceIhavebeenobligedtoleaveoutthecolor。ButI"vegottheexpression，though。
However，Imustnotbefritteringawaythereader"stimewiththesedetails。Ididnotintendtogointoanydetailatall，atfirst，butitisthefailingofthetrueceramiker，orthetruedevoteeinanydepartmentofbrick-a-brackery，thatoncehegetshistongueorhispenstartedonhisdarlingtheme，hecannotwellstopuntilhedropsfromexhaustion。Hehasnomoresenseoftheflightoftimethanhasanyotherloverwhentalkingofhissweetheart。Thevery"marks"onthebottomofapieceofrarecrockeryareabletothrowmeintoagibberingecstasy；andIcouldforsakeadrowningrelativetohelpdisputeaboutwhetherthestoppleofadepartedBuonRetiroscent-bottlewasgenuineorspurious。
Manypeoplesaythatforamaleperson，bric-a-brachuntingisaboutasrobustabusinessasmakingdoll-clothes，ordecoratingJapanesepotswithdecalcomaniebutterflieswouldbe，andthesepeopleflingmudattheelegantEnglishman，Byng，whowroteabookcalledTHEBRIC-A-BRACHUNTER，andmakefunofhimforchasingaroundafterwhattheychoosetocall"hisdespicabletrifles"；andfor"gushing"overthesetrifles；andforexhibitinghis"deepinfantiledelight"
inwhattheycallhis"tuppennycollectionofbeggarlytrivialities"；andforbeginninghisbookwithapictureofhimselfseated，ina"sappy，self-complacentattitude，inthemidstofhispoorlittleridiculousbric-a-bracjunkshop。"
Itiseasytosaythesethings；itiseasytorevileus，easytodespiseus；therefore，letthesepeoplerailon；
theycannotfeelasByngandIfeel——itistheirloss，notours。FormypartIamcontenttobeabrick-a-brackerandaceramiker——more，Iamproudtobesonamed。
IamproudtoknowthatIlosemyreasonasimmediatelyinthepresenceofararejugwithanillustriousmarkonthebottomofit，asifIhadjustemptiedthatjug。
Verywell；Ipackedandstoredapartofmycollection，andtherestofitIplacedinthecareoftheGrandDucalMuseuminMannheim，bypermission。MyOldBlueChinaCatremainsthereyet。Ipresentedittothatexcellentinstitution。
Ihadbutonemisfortunewithmythings。AneggwhichI
hadkeptbackfrombreakfastthatmorning，wasbrokeninpacking。Itwasagreatpity。IhadshownittothebestconnoisseursinHeidelberg，andtheyallsaiditwasanantique。Wespentadayortwoinfarewellvisits，andthenleftforBaden-Baden。Wehadapleasanttriptoit，fortheRhinevalleyisalwayslovely。
Theonlytroublewasthatthetripwastooshort。
IfIrememberrightlyitonlyoccupiedacoupleofhours，thereforeIjudgethatthedistancewasverylittle，ifany，overfiftymiles。WequittedthetrainatOos，andwalkedtheentireremainingdistancetoBaden-Baden，withtheexceptionofaliftoflessthananhourwhichwegotonapassingwagon，theweatherbeingexhaustinglywarm。
Wecameintotownonfoot。
Oneofthefirstpersonsweencountered，aswewalkedupthestreet，wastheRev。Mr——，anoldfriendfromAmerica——aluckyencounter，indeed，forhisisamostgentle，refined，andsensitivenature，andhiscompanyandcompanionshipareagenuinerefreshment。
WeknewhehadbeeninEuropesometime，butwerenotatallexpectingtorunacrosshim。Bothpartiesburstforthintolovingenthusiasms，andRev。Mr——said:
"Ihavegotabrimfulreservoiroftalktopouroutonyou，andanemptyonereadyandthirstingtoreceivewhatyouhavegot；wewillsituptillmidnightandhaveagoodsatisfyinginterchange，forIleavehereearlyinthemorning。"Weagreedtothat，ofcourse。
Ihadbeenvaguelyconscious，forawhile，ofapersonwhowaswalkinginthestreetabreastofus；Ihadglancedfurtivelyathimonceortwice，andnoticedthathewasafine，large，vigorousyoungfellow，withanopen，independentcountenance，faintlyshadedwithapaleandevenalmostimperceptiblecropofearlydown，andthathewasclothedfromheadtoheelincoolandenviablesnow-whitelinen。IthoughtIhadalsonoticedthathisheadhadasortoflisteningtilttoit。
NowaboutthistimetheRev。Mr——said:
"Thesidewalkishardlywideenoughforthree，soIwillwalkbehind；butkeepthetalkgoing，keepthetalkgoing，there"snotimetolose，andyoumaybesureIwilldomyshare。"Herangedhimselfbehindus，andstraightwaythatstatelysnow-whiteyoungfellowcloseduptothesidewalkalongsidehim，fetchedhimacordialslapontheshoulderwithhisbroadpalm，andsungoutwithaheartycheeriness:
"AMERICANSfortwo-and-a-halfandthemoneyup!HEY?"
TheReverendwinced，butsaidmildly:
"Yes——weareAmericans。"
"Lordloveyou，youcanjustbetthat"swhat_I_am，everytime!Putitthere!"
HeheldouthisSaharaofhispalm，andtheReverendlaidhisdiminutivehandinit，andgotsocordialashakethatweheardhisgloveburstunderit。
"Say，didn"tIputyouupright?"
"Oh，yes。"
"Sho!IspottedyouforMYkindtheminuteIheardyourclack。Youbeenoverherelong?"
"Aboutfourmonths。Haveyoubeenoverlong?"
"LONG?Well，Ishouldsayso!GoingontwoYEARS，bygeeminy!Say，areyouhomesick?"
"No，Ican"tsaythatIam。Areyou?"
"Oh，HELL，yes!"Thiswithimmenseenthusiasm。
TheReverendshrunkalittle，inhisclothes，andwewereaware，ratherbyinstinctthanotherwise，thathewasthrowingoutsignalsofdistresstous；butwedidnotinterfereortrytosuccorhim，forwewerequitehappy。
TheyoungfellowhookedhisarmintotheReverend"s，now，withtheconfidingandgratefulairofawaifwhohasbeenlongingforafriend，andasympatheticear，andachancetolisponcemorethesweetaccentsofthemother-tongue——andthenhelimberedupthemusclesofhismouthandturnedhimselfloose——andwithsucharelish!SomeofhiswordswerenotSunday-schoolwords，soIamobligedtoputblankswheretheyoccur。
"Yesindeedy!If_I_ain"tanAmericanthereAIN"T
anyAmericans，that"sall。AndwhenIheardyoufellowsgassingawayinthegoodoldAmericanlanguage，I"m——
ifitwasn"tallIcoulddotokeepfromhuggingyou!Mytongue"sallwarpedwithtryingtocurlitaroundthese——forsakenwind-gallednine-jointedGermanwordshere；
nowITELLyouit"sawfulgoodtolayitoveraChristianwordoncemoreandkindoflettheoldtastesoakit。
I"mfromwesternNewYork。MynameisCholleyAdams。
I"mastudent，youknow。Beenheregoingontwoyears。
I"mlearningtobeahorse-doctor!ILIKEthatpartofit，youknow，but——thesepeople，theywon"tlearnafellowinhisownlanguage，theymakehimlearninGerman；sobeforeIcouldtacklethehorse-doctoringIhadtotacklethismiserablelanguage。
"Firstoff，Ithoughtitwouldcertainlygivemethebotts，butIdon"tmindnow。I"vegotitwherethehair"sshort，Ithink；anddontchuknow，theymademelearnLatin，too。Nowbetweenyouandme，Iwouldn"tgivea——foralltheLatinthatwaseverjabbered；
andthefirstthing_I_calculatetodowhenIgetthrough，istojustsitdownandforgetit。"Twon"ttakemelong，andIdon"tmindthetime，anyway。AndItellyouwhat!
thedifferencebetweenschool-teachingoveryonderandschool-teachingoverhere——sho!WEdon"tknowanythingaboutit!Hereyou"regottopegandpegandpegandtherejustain"tanylet-up——andwhatyoulearnhere，you"vegottoKNOW，dontchuknow——orelseyou"llhaveoneofthese——spavined，spectacles，ring-boned，knock-kneedoldprofessorsinyourhair。I"vebeenherelongENOUGH，andI"mgettingblessedtiredofit，mindITELLyou。
TheoldmanwrotemethathewascomingoverinJune，andsaidhe"dtakemehomeinAugust，whetherIwasdonewithmyeducationornot，butdurnhim，hedidn"tcome；
neversaidwhy；justsentmeahamperofSunday-schoolbooks，andtoldmetobegood，andholdonawhile。
Idon"ttaketoSunday-schoolbooks，dontchuknow——I
don"thankerafterthemwhenIcangetpie——butI
READthem，anyway，becausewhatevertheoldmantellsmetodo，that"sthethingthatI"ma-goingtoDO，ortearsomething，youknow。Ibuckledinandreadallthosebooks，becausehewantedmeto；butthatkindofthingdon"texciteME，IlikesomethingHEARTY。
ButI"mawfulhomesick。I"mhomesickfromear-sockettocrupper，andfromcruppertohock-joint；butitain"tanyuse，I"vegottostayhere，tilltheoldmandropstheragandgivetheword——yes，SIR，righthereinthis——countryI"vegottolingertilltheoldmansaysCOME!——andyoubetyourbottomdollar，Johnny，itAIN"T
justaseasyasitisforacattohavetwins!"
Attheendofthisprofaneandcordialexplosionhefetchedaprodigious"WHOOSH!"torelievehislungsandmakerecognitionoftheheat，andthenhestraightwaydivedintohisnarrativeagainfor"Johnny"s"benefit，beginning，"Well，——itain"tanyusetalking，someofthoseoldAmericanwordsDOhaveakindofabullyswingtothem；amancanEXPRESShimselfwith"em——amancangetatwhathewantstoSAY，dontchuknow。"
WhenwereachedourhotelanditseemedthathewasabouttolosetheReverend，heshowedsomuchsorrow，andbeggedsohardandsoearnestlythattheReverend"sheartwasnothardenoughtoholdoutagainstthepleadings——
sohewentawaywiththeparent-honoringstudent，likearightChristian，andtooksupperwithhiminhislodgings，andsatinthesurf-beatofhisslangandprofanitytillnearmidnight，andthenlefthim——lefthimprettywelltalkedout，butgrateful"cleardowntohisfrogs，"
asheexpressedit。TheReverendsaidithadtranspiredduringtheinterviewthat"Cholley"Adams"sfatherwasanextensivedealerinhorsesinwesternNewYork；
thisaccountedforCholley"schoiceofaprofession。
TheReverendbroughtawayaprettyhighopinionofCholleyasamanlyyoungfellow，withstuffinhimforausefulcitizen；heconsideredhimratheraroughgem，butagem，nevertheless。
CHAPTERXXI
[InsolentShopkeepersandGabblingAmericans]
Baden-Badensitsinthelapofthehills，andthenaturalandartificialbeautiesofthesurroundingsarecombinedeffectivelyandcharmingly。Thelevelstripofgroundwhichstretchesthroughandbeyondthetownislaidoutinhandsomepleasuregrounds，shadedbynobletreesandadornedatintervalswithloftyandsparklingfountain-jets。ThriceadayafinebandmakesmusicinthepublicpromenadebeforetheConversationHouse，andintheafternoonandeveningthatlocalityispopulouswithfashionablydressedpeopleofbothsexes，whomarchbackandforthpastthegreatmusic-standandlookverymuchbored，thoughtheymakeashowoffeelingotherwise。
Itseemslikearatheraimlessandstupidexistence。
Agoodmanyofthesepeoplearethereforarealpurpose，however；theyarerackedwithrheumatism，andtheyaretheretostewitoutinthehotbaths。
Theseinvalidslookedmelancholyenough，limpingaboutontheircanesandcrutches，andapparentlybroodingoverallsortsofcheerlessthings。PeoplesaythatGermany，withherdampstonehouses，isthehomeofrheumatism。
Ifthatisso，Providencemusthaveforeseenthatitwouldbeso，andthereforefilledthelandwiththehealingbaths。PerhapsnoothercountryissogenerouslysuppliedwithmedicinalspringsasGermany。Someofthesebathsaregoodforoneailment，someforanother；
andagain，peculiarailmentsareconqueredbycombiningtheindividualvirtuesofseveraldifferentbaths。
Forinstance，forsomeformsofdisease，thepatientdrinksthenativehotwaterofBaden-Baden，withaspoonfulofsaltfromtheCarlsbadspringsdissolvedinit。
Thatisnotadosetobeforgottenrightaway。
Theydon"tSELLthishotwater；no，yougointothegreatTrinkhalle，andstandaround，firstononefootandthenontheother，whiletwoorthreeyounggirlssitpotteringatsomesortofladylikesewing-workinyourneighborhoodandcan"tseemtoseeyou——politeasthree-dollarclerksingovernmentoffices。
Byandbyoneoftheserisespainfully，and"stretches"——stretchesfistsandbodyheavenwardtillsheraisesherheelsfromthefloor，atthesametimerefreshingherselfwithayawnofsuchcomprehensivenessthatthebulkofherfacedisappearsbehindherupperlipandoneisabletoseehowsheisconstructedinside——thensheslowlycloseshercavern，bringsdownherfistsandherheels，comeslanguidlyforward，contemplatesyoucontemptuously，drawsyouaglassofhotwaterandsetsitdownwhereyoucangetitbyreachingforit。Youtakeitandsay:
"Howmuch?"——andshereturnsyou，withelaborateindifference，abeggar"sanswer:
"NACHBELIEBE"(whatyouplease。)
Thisthingofusingthecommonbeggar"strickandthecommonbeggar"sshibbolethtoputyouonyourliberalitywhenyouwereexpectingasimplestraightforwardcommercialtransaction，addsalittletoyourprosperingsenseofirritation。
Youignoreherreply，andaskagain:
"Howmuch?"——
andshecalmly，indifferently，repeats:
"NACHBELIEBE。"
Youaregettingangry，butyouaretryingnottoshowit；
youresolvetokeeponaskingyourquestiontillshechangesheranswer，oratleastherannoyinglyindifferentmanner。
Therefore，ifyourcasebelikemine，youtwofoolsstandthere，andwithoutperceptibleemotionofanykind，oranyemphasisonanysyllable，youlookblandlyintoeachother"seyes，andholdthefollowingidioticconversation:
"Howmuch?"
"NACHBELIEBE。"
"Howmuch?"
"NACHBELIEBE。"
"Howmuch?"
"NACHBELIEBE。"
"Howmuch?"
"NACHBELIEBE。"
"Howmuch?"
"NACHBELIEBE。"
"Howmuch?"
"NACHBELIEBE。"
Idonotknowwhatanotherpersonwouldhavedone，butatthispointIgaveup；thatcast-ironindifference，thattranquilcontemptuousness，conqueredme，andIstruckmycolors。NowIknewshewasusedtoreceivingaboutapennyfrommanlypeoplewhocarenothingabouttheopinionsofscullery-maids，andabouttuppencefrommoralcowards；
butIlaidasilvertwenty-fivecentpiecewithinherreachandtriedtoshrivelherupwiththissarcasticspeech:
"Ifitisn"tenough，willyoustoopsufficientlyfromyourofficialdignitytosayso?"
Shedidnotshrivel。Withoutdeigningtolookatmeatall，shelanguidlyliftedthecoinandbitit!——toseeifitwasgood。Thensheturnedherbackandplacidlywaddledtoherformerroostagain，tossingthemoneyintoanopentillasshewentalong。Shewasvictortothelast，yousee。
Ihaveenlargeduponthewaysofthisgirlbecausetheyaretypical；hermannersarethemannersofagoodlynumberoftheBaden-Badenshopkeepers。Theshopkeeperthereswindlesyouifhecan，andinsultsyouwhetherhesucceedsinswindlingyouornot。Thekeepersofbathsalsotakegreatandpatientpainstoinsultyou。
ThefrowsywomanwhosatatthedeskinthelobbyofthegreatFriederichsbadandsoldbathtickets，notonlyinsultedmetwiceeveryday，withrigidfidelitytohergreattrust，butshetooktroubleenoughtocheatmeoutofashilling，oneday，tohavefairlyentitledhertoten。Baden-Baden"ssplendidgamblersaregone，onlyhermicroscopicknavesremain。
AnEnglishgentlemanwhohadbeenlivingthereseveralyears，said:
"Ifyoucoulddisguiseyournationality，youwouldnotfindanyinsolencehere。TheseshopkeepersdetesttheEnglishanddespisetheAmericans；theyarerudetoboth，moreespeciallytoladiesofyournationalityandmine。
Ifthesegoshoppingwithoutagentlemanoraman-servant，theyaretolerablysuretobesubjectedtopettyinsolences——
insolencesofmannerandtone，ratherthanword，thoughwordsthatarehardtobeararenotalwayswanting。
IknowofaninstancewhereashopkeepertossedacoinbacktoanAmericanladywiththeremark，snappishlyuttered，"Wedon"ttakeFrenchmoneyhere。"AndIknowofacasewhereanEnglishladysaidtooneoftheseshopkeepers，"Don"tyouthinkyouasktoomuchforthisarticle?"
andherepliedwiththequestion，"Doyouthinkyouareobligedtobuyit?"However，thesepeoplearenotimpolitetoRussiansorGermans。Andastorank，theyworshipthat，fortheyhavelongbeenusedtogeneralsandnobles。
Ifyouwishtoseewhatabyssesservilitycandescend，presentyourselfbeforeaBaden-BadenshopkeeperinthecharacterofaRussianprince。"
Itisaninanetown，filledwithsham，andpettyfraud，andsnobbery，butthebathsaregood。Ispokewithmanypeople，andtheywereallagreedinthat。Ihadthetwingesofrheumatismunceasinglyduringthreeyears，butthelastonedepartedafterafortnight"sbathingthere，andIhaveneverhadonesince。IfullybelieveIleftmyrheumatisminBaden-Baden。Baden-Badeniswelcometoit。
Itwaslittle，butitwasallIhadtogive。Iwouldhavepreferredtoleavesomethingthatwascatching，butitwasnotinmypower。
Thereareseveralhotspringsthere，andduringtwothousandyearstheyhavepouredforthanever-diminishingabundanceofthehealingwater。Thiswaterisconductedinpipetothenumerousbath-houses，andisreducedtoanendurabletemperaturebytheadditionofcoldwater。
ThenewFriederichsbadisaverylargeandbeautifulbuilding，andinitonemayhaveanysortofbaththathaseverbeeninvented，andwithalltheadditionsofherbsanddrugsthathisailmentmayneedorthatthephysicianoftheestablishmentmayconsiderausefulthingtoputintothewater。Yougothere，enterthegreatdoor，getabowgraduatedtoyourstyleandclothesfromthegorgeousportier，andabathticketandaninsultfromthefrowsywomanforaquarter；shestrikesabellandaserving-manconductsyoudownalonghallandshutsyouintoacommodiousroomwhichhasawashstand，amirror，abootjack，andasofainit，andthereyouundressatyourleisure。
Theroomisdividedbyagreatcurtain；youdrawthiscurtainaside，andfindalargewhitemarblebathtub，withitsrimsunktothelevelofthefloor，andwiththreewhitemarblestepsleadingdowntoit。
Thistubisfullofwaterwhichisasclearascrystal，andistemperedto28degreesRe"aumur(about95degreesFahrenheit)。Sunkintothefloor，bythetub，isacoveredcopperboxwhichcontainssomewarmtowelsandasheet。
Youlookfullyaswhiteasanangelwhenyouarestretchedoutinthatlimpidbath。Youremaininittenminutes，thefirsttime，andafterwardincreasethedurationfromdaytoday，tillyoureachtwenty-fiveorthirtyminutes。
Thereyoustop。Theappointmentsoftheplacearesoluxurious，thebenefitsomarked，thepricesomoderate，andtheinsultssosure，thatyouverysoonfindyourselfadoringtheFriederichsbadandinfestingit。
Wehadaplain，simple，unpretending，goodhotel，inBaden-Baden——theHo^teldeFrance——andalongsidemyroomIhadagiggling，cackling，chatteringfamilywhoalwayswenttobedjusttwohoursaftermeandalwaysgotuptwohoursaheadofme。ButthisiscommoninGermanhotels；
thepeoplegenerallygotobedlongafterelevenandgetuplongbeforeeight。Thepartitionsconveysoundlikeadrum-head，andeverybodyknowsit；butnomatter，aGermanfamilywhoareallkindnessandconsiderationinthedaytimemakeapparentlynoefforttomoderatetheirnoisesforyourbenefitatnight。Theywillsing，laugh，andtalkloudly，andbangfurniturearoundinamostpitilessway。Ifyouknockonyourwallappealingly，theywillquietdownanddiscussthemattersoftlyamongthemselvesforamoment——then，likethemice，theyfalltopersecutingyouagain，andasvigorouslyasbefore。
Theykeepcruellylateandearlyhours，forsuchnoisyfolk。
Ofcourse，whenonebeginstofindfaultwithforeignpeople"sways，heisverylikelytogetaremindertolooknearerhome，beforehegetsfarwithit。Iopenmynote-booktoseeifIcanfindsomemoreinformationofavaluablenatureaboutBaden-Baden，andthefirstthingIfalluponisthis:
"BADEN-BADEN(nodate)。LotofvociferousAmericansatbreakfastthismorning。TalkingATeverybody，whilepretendingtotalkamongthemselves。Ontheirfirsttravels，manifestly。Showingoff。Theusualsigns——airy，easy-goingreferencestogranddistancesandforeignplaces。"WellGOOD-by，oldfellow——
ifIdon"trunacrossyouinItaly，youhuntmeupinLondonbeforeyousail。""
ThenextitemwhichIfindinmynote-bookisthisone:
"Thefactthatabandof6，000Indiansarenowmurderingourfrontiersmenattheirimpudentleisure，andthatweareonlyabletosend1，200soldiersagainstthem，isutilizedheretodiscourageemigrationtoAmerica。
ThecommonpeoplethinktheIndiansareinNewJersey。"
Thisisanewandpeculiarargumentagainstkeepingourarmydowntoaridiculousfigureinthematterofnumbers。
Itisratherastrikingone，too。Ihavenotdistortedthetruthinsayingthatthefactsintheaboveitem，aboutthearmyandtheIndians，aremadeuseoftodiscourageemigrationtoAmerica。Thatthecommonpeopleshouldberatherfoggyintheirgeography，andfoggyastothelocationoftheIndians，isamatterforamusement，maybe，butnotofsurprise。
ThereisaninterestingoldcemeteryinBaden-Baden，andwespentseveralpleasanthoursinwanderingthroughitandspellingouttheinscriptionsontheagedtombstones。
Apparentlyafteramanhaslaidthereacenturyortwo，andhashadagoodmanypeopleburiedontopofhim，itisconsideredthathistombstoneisnotneededbyhimanylonger。Ijudgesofromthefactthathundredsofoldgravestoneshavebeenremovedfromthegravesandplacedagainsttheinnerwallsofthecemetery。
Whatartiststheyhadintheoldtimes!Theychiseledangelsandcherubsanddevilsandskeletonsonthetombstonesinthemostlavishandgenerousway——astosupply——butcuriouslygrotesqueandoutlandishastoform。Itisnotalwayseasytotellwhichofthefiguresbelongamongtheblestandwhichofthemamongtheoppositeparty。
Buttherewasaninscription，inFrench，ononeofthoseoldstones，whichwasquaintandpretty，andwasplainlynottheworkofanyotherthanapoet。Itwastothiseffect:
HereReposesinGod，CarolinedeClery，aReligieuseofSt。Denisaged83years——andblind。ThelightwasrestoredtoherinBadenthe5thofJanuary，1839
Wemadeseveralexcursionsonfoottotheneighboringvillages，overwindingandbeautifulroadsandthroughenchantingwoodlandscenery。ThewoodsandroadsweresimilartothoseatHeidelberg，butnotsobewitching。IsupposethatroadsandwoodswhichareuptotheHeidelbergmarkarerareintheworld。
OncewewanderedclearawaytoLaFavoritaPalace，whichisseveralmilesfromBaden-Baden。Thegroundsaboutthepalacewerefine；thepalacewasacuriosity。
ItwasbuiltbyaMargravinein1725，andremainsassheleftitatherdeath。Wewanderedthroughagreatmanyofitsrooms，andtheyallhadstrikingpeculiaritiesofdecoration。Forinstance，thewallsofoneroomwereprettycompletelycoveredwithsmallpicturesoftheMargravineinallconceivablevarietiesoffancifulcostumes，someofthemmale。
Thewallsofanotherroomwerecoveredwithgrotesquelyandelaboratelyfiguredhand-wroughttapestry。
Themustyancientbedsremainedinthechambers，andtheirquiltsandcurtainsandcanopiesweredecoratedwithcurioushandwork，andthewallsandceilingsfrescoedwithhistoricalandmythologicalscenesinglaringcolors。
Therewasenoughcrazyandrottenrubbishinthebuildingtomakeatruebrick-a-brackergreenwithenvy。
Apaintinginthedining-hallvergedupontheindelicate——
butthentheMargravinewasherselfatrifleindelicate。
Itisineverywayawildlyandpicturesquelydecoratedhouse，andbrimfulofinterestasareflectionofthecharacterandtastesofthatrudebygonetime。
Inthegrounds，afewrodsfromthepalace，standstheMargravine"schapel，justassheleftit——acoarsewoodenstructure，whollybarrenofornament。ItissaidthattheMargravinewouldgiveherselfuptodebaucheryandexceedinglyfastlivingforseveralmonthsatatime，andthenretiretothismiserablewoodendenandspendafewmonthsinrepentingandgettingreadyforanothergoodtime。ShewasadevotedCatholic，andwasperhapsquiteamodelsortofaChristianasChristianswentthen，inhighlife。
TraditionsaysshespentthelasttwoyearsofherlifeinthestrangedenIhavebeenspeakingof，afterhavingindulgedherselfinonefinal，triumphant，andsatisfyingspree。
Sheshutherselfupthere，withoutcompany，andwithoutevenaservant，andsoabjuredandforsooktheworld。
Inherlittlebitofakitchenshedidherowncooking；
sheworeahairshirtnexttheskin，andcastigatedherselfwithwhips——theseaidstograceareexhibitedthereyet。
Sheprayedandtoldherbeads，inanotherlittleroom，beforeawaxenVirginnichedinalittleboxagainstthewall；
shebeddedherselflikeaslave。
Inanothersmallroomisanunpaintedwoodentable，andbehinditsithalf-life-sizewaxenfiguresoftheHolyFamily，madebytheveryworstartistthateverlived，perhaps，andclothedingaudy，flimsydrapery。
[1]ThemargravineusedtobringhermealstothistableandDINEWITHTHEHOLYFAMILY。Whatanideathatwas!
Whatagrislyspectacleitmusthavebeen!Imagineit:
Thoserigid，shock-headedfigures，withcorpsycomplexionsandfishglasseyes，occupyingonesideofthetableintheconstrainedattitudesanddeadfixednessthatdistinquishallmenthatarebornofwax，andthiswrinkled，smolderingoldfire-eateroccupyingtheotherside，mumblingherprayersandmunchinghersausagesintheghostlystillnessandshadowyindistinctnessofawintertwilight。
Itmakesonefeelcrawlyeventothinkofit。
1。TheSaviorwasrepresentedasaladofaboutfifteenyearsofage。Thisfigurehadlostoneeye。
Inthissordidplace，andclothed，bedded，andfedlikeapauper，thisstrangeprincesslivedandworshipedduringtwoyears，andinitshedied。Twoorthreehundredyearsago，thiswouldhavemadethepoordenholyground；
andthechurchwouldhavesetupamiracle-factorythereandmadeplentyofmoneyoutofit。ThedencouldbemovedintosomeportionsofFranceandmadeagoodpropertyevennow。
CHAPTERXXII
[TheBlackForestandItsTreasures]
FromBaden-BadenwemadethecustomarytripintotheBlackForest。Wewereonfootmostofthetime。Onecannotdescribethosenoblewoods，northefeelingwithwhichtheyinspirehim。Afeatureofthefeeling，however，isadeepsenseofcontentment；anotherfeatureofitisabuoyant，boyishgladness；andathirdandveryconspicuousfeatureofitisone"ssenseoftheremotenessofthework-dayworldandhisentireemancipationfromitanditsaffairs。
Thosewoodsstretchunbrokenoveravastregion；
andeverywheretheyaresuchdensewoods，andsostill，andsopineyandfragrant。Thestemsofthetreesaretrimandstraight，andinmanyplacesallthegroundishiddenformilesunderathickcushionofmossofavividgreencolor，withnotadecayedorraggedspotinitssurface，andnotafallenleafortwigtomaritsimmaculatetidiness。
Arichcathedralgloompervadesthepillaredaisles；
sothestrayflecksofsunlightthatstrikeatrunkhereandaboughyonderarestronglyaccented，andwhentheystrikethemosstheyfairlyseemtoburn。
Buttheweirdesteffect，andthemostenchantingisthatproducedbythediffusedlightofthelowafternoonsun；
nosinglerayisabletopierceitswayin，then，butthediffusedlighttakescolorfrommossandfoliage，andpervadestheplacelikeafaint，greet-tintedmist，thetheatricalfireoffairyland。Thesuggestionofmysteryandthesupernaturalwhichhauntstheforestatalltimesisintensifiedbythisunearthlyglow。
WefoundtheBlackForestfarmhousesandvillagesallthattheBlackForeststorieshavepicturedthem。
ThefirstgenuinespecimenwhichwecameuponwasthemansionofarichfarmerandmemberoftheCommonCounciloftheparishordistrict。Hewasanimportantpersonageinthelandandsowashiswifealso，ofcourse。Hisdaughterwasthe"catch"oftheregion，andshemaybealreadyenteringintoimmortalityastheheroineofoneofAuerbach"snovels，forallIknow。
Weshallsee，forifheputsherinIshallrecognizeherbyherBlackForestclothes，andherburnedcomplexion，herplumpfigure，herfathands，herdullexpression，hergentlespirit，hergenerousfeet，herbonnetlesshead，andtheplaitedtailsofhemp-coloredhairhangingdownherback。
Thehousewasbigenoughforahotel；itwasahundredfeetlongandfiftywide，andtenfeethigh，fromgroundtoeaves；butfromtheeavestothecombofthemightyroofwasasmuchasfortyfeet，ormaybeevenmore。Thisroofwasofancientmud-coloredstrawthatchafootthick，andwascoveredallover，exceptinafewtriflingspots，withathrivingandluxuriousgrowthofgreenvegetation，mainlymoss。Themosslessspotswereplaceswhererepairshadbeenmadebytheinsertionofbrightnewmassesofyellowstraw。Theeavesprojectedfardown，likesheltering，hospitablewings。Acrossthegablethatfrontedtheroad，andabouttenfeetabovetheground，rananarrowporch，withawoodenrailing；arowofsmallwindowsfilledwithverysmallpaneslookedupontheporch。Aboveweretwoorthreeotherlittlewindows，oneclearupunderthesharpapexoftheroof。
Beforetheground-floordoorwasahugepileofmanure。
Thedoorofthesecond-storyroomonthesideofthehousewasopen，andoccupiedbytherearelevationofacow。
Wasthisprobablythedrawing-room?Allofthefronthalfofthehousefromthegroundupseemedtobeoccupiedbythepeople，thecows，andthechickens，andalltherearhalfbydraught-animalsandhay。
Butthechieffeature，allaroundthishouse，wasthebigheapsofmanure。
WebecameveryfamiliarwiththefertilizerintheForest。
Wefellunconsciouslyintothehabitofjudgingofaman"sstationinlifebythisoutwardandeloquentsign。
Sometimeswesaid，"Hereisapoordevil，thisismanifest。"
Whenwesawastatelyaccumulation，wesaid，"Hereisabanker。"Whenweencounteredacountry-seatsurroundedbyanAlpinepompofmanure，wesaid，"Doubtlessadukeliveshere。"
TheimportanceofthisfeaturehasnotbeenproperlymagnifiedintheBlackForeststories。ManureisevidentlytheBlack-Forester"smaintreasure——hiscoin，hisjewel，hispride，hisOldMaster，hisceramics，hisbric-a-brac，hisdarling，histitletopublicconsideration，envy，veneration，andhisfirstsolicitudewhenhegetsreadytomakehiswill。ThetrueBlackForestnovel，ifitiseverwritten，willbeskeletonedsomewhatinthisway:
SKELETONFORABLACKFORESTNOVEL