第17章
`Wasitgoodforyou？"
Gerald"seyesnarroweduglily。Schoolhadbeentorturetohim。Yethehadnotquestionedwhetheroneshouldgothroughthistorture。Heseemedtobelieveineducationthroughsubjectionandtorment。
`Ihateditatthetime，butIcanseeitwasnecessary，"hesaid。`Itbroughtmeintolineabit——andyoucan"tliveunlessyoudocomeintolinesomewhere。"
`Well，"saidBirkin，`Ibegintothinkthatyoucan"tliveunlessyoukeepentirelyoutoftheline。It"snogoodtryingtotoetheline，whenyouroneimpulseistosmashuptheline。Winnieisaspecialnature，andforspecialnaturesyoumustgiveaspecialworld。"
`Yes，butwhere"syourspecialworld？"saidGerald。
`Makeit。Insteadofchoppingyourselfdowntofittheworld，choptheworlddowntofityourself。Asamatteroffact，twoexceptionalpeoplemakeanotherworld。YouandI，wemakeanother，separateworld。Youdon"twantaworldsameasyourbrothers—in—law。It"sjustthespecialqualityyouvalue。Doyouwanttobenormalorordinary！It"salie。Youwanttobefreeandextraordinary，inanextraordinaryworldofliberty。"
GeraldlookedatBirkinwithsubtleeyesofknowledge。Buthewouldneveropenlyadmitwhathefelt。HeknewmorethanBirkin，inonedirection——muchmore。Andthisgavehimhisgentlelovefortheotherman，asifBirkinwereinsomewayyoung，innocent，child—like:soamazinglyclever，butincurablyinnocent。
`Yetyouaresobanalastoconsidermechieflyafreak，"saidBirkinpointedly。
`Afreak！"exclaimedGerald，startled。Andhisfaceopenedsuddenly，asiflightedwithsimplicity，aswhenafloweropensoutofthecunningbud。`No——Ineverconsideryouafreak。"Andhewatchedtheothermanwithstrangeeyes，thatBirkincouldnotunderstand。`Ifeel，"Geraldcontinued，`thatthereisalwaysanelementofuncertaintyaboutyou——perhapsyouareuncertainaboutyourself。ButI"mneversureofyou。Youcangoawayandchangeaseasilyasifyouhadnosoul。"
HelookedatBirkinwithpenetratingeyes。Birkinwasamazed。Hethoughthehadallthesoulintheworld。Hestaredinamazement。AndGerald，watching，sawtheamazingattractivegoodlinessofhiseyes，ayoung，spontaneousgoodnessthatattractedtheothermaninfinitely，yetfilledhimwithbitterchagrin，becausehemistrusteditsomuch。HeknewBirkincoulddowithouthim——couldforget，andnotsuffer。ThiswasalwayspresentinGerald"sconsciousness，fillinghimwithbitterunbelief:thisconsciousnessoftheyoung，animal—likespontaneityofdetachment。Itseemedalmostlikehypocrisyandlying，sometimes，oh，often，onBirkin"spart，totalksodeeplyandimportantly。
QuiteotherthingsweregoingthroughBirkin"smind。Suddenlyhesawhimselfconfrontedwithanotherproblem——theproblemofloveandeternalconjunctionbetweentwomen。Ofcoursethiswasnecessary——ithadbeenanecessityinsidehimselfallhislife——toloveamanpurelyandfully。
OfcoursehehadbeenlovingGeraldallalong，andallalongdenyingit。
Helayinthebedandwondered，whilsthisfriendsatbesidehim，lostinbrooding。Eachmanwasgoneinhisownthoughts。
`YouknowhowtheoldGermanknightsusedtoswearaBlutbruderschaft，"
hesaidtoGerald，withquiteanewhappyactivityinhiseyes。
`Makealittlewoundintheirarms，andrubeachother"sbloodintothecut？"saidGerald。
`Yes——andsweartobetruetoeachother，ofoneblood，alltheirlives。Thatiswhatweoughttodo。Nowounds，thatisobsolete。Butweoughttosweartoloveeachother，youandI，implicitly，andperfectly，finally，withoutanypossibilityofgoingbackonit。"
HelookedatGeraldwithclear，happyeyesofdiscovery。Geraldlookeddownathim，attracted，sodeeplybondagedinfascinatedattraction，thathewasmistrustful，resentingthebondage，hatingtheattraction。
`Wewillsweartoeachother，oneday，shallwe？"pleadedBirkin。`Wewillsweartostandbyeachother——betruetoeachother——ultimately——infallibly——giventoeachother，organically——withoutpossibilityoftakingback。"
Birkinsoughthardtoexpresshimself。ButGeraldhardlylistened。Hisfaceshonewithacertainluminouspleasure。Hewaspleased。Buthekepthisreserve。Heheldhimselfback。
`Shallwesweartoeachother，oneday？"saidBirkin，puttingouthishandtowardsGerald。
Geraldjusttouchedtheextendedfine，livinghand，asifwithheldandafraid。
`We"llleaveittillIunderstanditbetter，"hesaid，inavoiceofexcuse。
Birkinwatchedhim。Alittlesharpdisappointment，perhapsatouchofcontemptcameintohisheart。
`Yes，"hesaid。`Youmusttellmewhatyouthink，later。YouknowwhatImean？Notsloppyemotionalism。Animpersonalunionthatleavesonefree。"
Theylapsedbothintosilence。BirkinwaslookingatGeraldallthetime。Heseemednowtosee，notthephysical，animalman，whichheusuallysawinGerald，andwhichusuallyhelikedsomuch，butthemanhimself，complete，andasiffated，doomed，limited。ThisstrangesenseoffatalityinGerald，asifhewerelimitedtooneformofexistence，oneknowledge，oneactivity，asortoffatalhalfness，whichtohimselfseemedwholeness，alwaysovercameBirkinaftertheirmomentsofpassionateapproach，andfilledhimwithasortofcontempt，orboredom。ItwastheinsistenceonthelimitationwhichsoboredBirkininGerald。Geraldcouldneverflyawayfromhimself，inrealindifferentgaiety。Hehadaclog，asortofmonomania。
Therewassilenceforatime。ThenBirkinsaid，inalightertone，lettingthestressofthecontactpass:
`Can"tyougetagoodgovernessforWinifred？——somebodyexceptional？"
`HermioneRoddicesuggestedweshouldaskGudruntoteachhertodrawandtomodelinclay。YouknowWinnieisastonishinglycleverwiththatplasticinestuff。Hermionedeclaressheisanartist。"Geraldspokeintheusualanimated，chattymanner，asifnothingunusualhadpassed。ButBirkin"smannerwasfullofreminder。
`Really！Ididn"tknowthat。Ohwellthen，ifGudrunwouldteachher，itwouldbeperfect——couldn"tbeanythingbetter——ifWinifredisanartist。BecauseGudrunsomewhereisone。Andeverytrueartististhesalvationofeveryother。"
`Ithoughttheygotonsobadly，asarule。"
`Perhaps。Butonlyartistsproduceforeachothertheworldthatisfittolivein。IfyoucanarrangethatforWinifred，itisperfect。"
`Butyouthinkshewouldn"tcome？"
`Idon"tknow。Gudrunisratherself—opinionated。Shewon"tgocheapanywhere。Orifshedoes，she"llprettysoontakeherselfback。Sowhethershewouldcondescendtodoprivateteaching，particularlyhere，inBeldover，Idon"tknow。Butitwouldbejustthething。Winifredhasgotaspecialnature。Andifyoucanputintoherwaythemeansofbeingself—sufficient，thatisthebestthingpossible。She"llnevergetonwiththeordinarylife。Youfinditdifficultenoughyourself，andsheisseveralskinsthinnerthanyouare。Itisawfultothinkwhatherlifewillbelikeunlessshedoesfindameansofexpression，somewayoffulfilment。Youcanseewhatmereleavingittofatebrings。Youcanseehowmuchmarriageistobetrustedto——lookatyourownmother。"
`Doyouthinkmotherisabnormal？"
`No！Ithinksheonlywantedsomethingmore，orotherthanthecommonrunoflife。Andnotgettingit，shehasgonewrongperhaps。"
`Afterproducingabroodofwrongchildren，"saidGeraldgloomily。
`Nomorewrongthananyoftherestofus，"Birkinreplied。`Themostnormalpeoplehavetheworstsubterraneanselves，takethemonebyone。"
`SometimesIthinkitisacursetobealive，"saidGeraldwithsuddenimpotentanger。
`Well，"saidBirkin，`whynot！Letitbeacursesometimestobealive——atothertimesitisanythingbutacurse。You"vegotplentyofzestinitreally。"
`Lessthanyou"dthink，"saidGerald，revealingastrangepovertyinhislookattheotherman。
Therewassilence，eachthinkinghisownthoughts。
`Idon"tseewhatshehastodistinguishbetweenteachingattheGrammarSchool，andcomingtoteachWin，"saidGerald。
`Thedifferencebetweenapublicservantandaprivateone。Theonlynoblemantoday，kingandonlyaristocrat，isthepublic，thepublic。Youarequitewillingtoservethepublic——buttobeaprivatetutor——"
`Idon"twanttoserveeither——"
`No！AndGudrunwillprobablyfeelthesame。"
Geraldthoughtforafewminutes。Thenhesaid:
`Atallevents，fatherwon"tmakeherfeellikeaprivateservant。Hewillbefussyandgreatfulenough。"
`Soheought。Andsooughtallofyou。DoyouthinkyoucanhireawomanlikeGudrunBrangwenwithmoney？Sheisyourequallikeanything——probablyyoursuperior。"
`Isshe？"saidGerald。
`Yes，andifyouhaven"tthegutstoknowit，Ihopeshe"llleaveyoutoyourowndevices。"
`Nevertheless，"saidGerald，`ifsheismyequal，Iwishsheweren"tateacher，becauseIdon"tthinkteachersasarulearemyequal。"
`NordoI，damnthem。ButamIateacherbecauseIteach，oraparsonbecauseIpreach？"
Geraldlaughed。Hewasalwaysuneasyonthisscore。Hedidnotwanttoclaimsocialsuperiority，yethewouldnotclaimintrinsicpersonalsuperiority，becausehewouldneverbasehisstandardofvaluesonpurebeing。Sohewobbleduponatacitassumptionofsocialstanding。No，Birkinwantedhimtoacceptthefactofintrinsicdifferencebetweenhumanbeings，whichhedidnotintendtoaccept。Itwasagainsthissocialhonour，hisprinciple。Herosetogo。
`I"vebeenneglectingmybusinessallthiswhile，"hesaidsmiling。
`Ioughttohaveremindedyoubefore，"Birkinreplied，laughingandmocking。
`Iknewyou"dsaysomethinglikethat，"laughedGerald，ratheruneasily。
`Didyou？"
`Yes，Rupert。Itwouldn"tdoforusalltobelikeyouare——weshouldsoonbeinthecart。WhenIamabovetheworld，Ishallignoreallbusinesses。"
`Ofcourse，we"renotinthecartnow，"saidBirkin，satirically。
`Notasmuchasyoumakeout。Atanyrate，wehaveenoughtoeatanddrink——"
`Andbesatisfied，"addedBirkin。
GeraldcamenearthebedandstoodlookingdownatBirkinwhosethroatwasexposed，whosetossedhairfellattractivelyonthewarmbrow，abovetheeyesthatweresounchallengedandstillinthesatiricalface。Gerald，full—limbedandturgidwithenergy，stoodunwillingtogo，hewasheldbythepresenceoftheotherman。Hehadnotthepowertogoaway。
`So，"saidBirkin。`Good—bye。"Andhereachedouthishandfromunderthebed—clothes，smilingwithaglimmeringlook。
`Good—bye，"saidGerald，takingthewarmhandofhisfriendinafirmgrasp。`Ishallcomeagain。Imissyoudownatthemill。"
`I"llbethereinafewdays，"saidBirkin。
Theeyesofthetwomenmetagain。Gerald"s，thatwerekeenasahawk"s，weresuffusednowwithwarmlightandwithunadmittedlove，Birkinlookedbackasoutofadarkness，unsoundedandunknown，yetwithakindofwarmth，thatseemedtoflowoverGerald"sbrainlikeafertilesleep。
`Good—byethen。There"snothingIcandoforyou？"
`Nothing，thanks。"
Birkinwatchedtheblack—clothedformoftheothermanmoveoutofthedoor，thebrightheadwasgone，heturnedovertosleep。
WomenInLove:Chapter17CHAPTERXVIITheIndustrialMagnateINBELDOVER，therewasbothforUrsulaandforGudrunaninterval。ItseemedtoUrsulaasifBirkinhadgoneoutofherforthetime，hehadlosthissignificance，hescarcelymatteredinherworld。Shehadherownfriends，herownactivities，herownlife。Sheturnedbacktotheoldwayswithzest，awayfromhim。
AndGudrun，afterfeelingeverymomentinallherveinsconsciousofGeraldCrich，connectedevenphysicallywithhim，wasnowalmostindifferenttothethoughtofhim。Shewasnursingnewschemesforgoingawayandtryinganewformoflife。Allthetime，therewassomethinginherurginghertoavoidthefinalestablishingofarelationshipwithGerald。Shefeltitwouldbewiserandbettertohavenomorethanacasualacquaintancewithhim。
ShehadaschemeforgoingtoStPetersburg，whereshehadafriendwhowasasculptorlikeherself，andwholivedwithawealthyRussianwhosehobbywasjewel—making。Theemotional，ratherrootlesslifeoftheRussiansappealedtoher。ShedidnotwanttogotoParis。Pariswasdry，andessentiallyboring。ShewouldliketogotoRome，Munich，Vienna，ortoStPetersburgorMoscow。ShehadafriendinStPetersburgandafriendinMunich。Toeachoftheseshewrote，askingaboutrooms。
Shehadacertainamountofmoney。Shehadcomehomepartlytosave，andnowshehadsoldseveralpiecesofwork，shehadbeenpraisedinvariousshows。Sheknewshecouldbecomequitethe`go"ifshewenttoLondon。
ButsheknewLondon，shewantedsomethingelse。Shehadseventypounds，ofwhichnobodyknewanything。Shewouldmovesoon，assoonassheheardfromherfriends。Hernature，inspiteofherapparentplacidityandcalm，wasprofoundlyrestless。
ThesistershappenedtocallinacottageinWilleyGreentobuyhoney。
MrsKirk，astout，pale，sharp—nosedwoman，sly，honied，withsomethingshrewishandcat—likebeneath，askedthegirlsintohertoocosy，tootidykitchen。Therewasacat—likecomfortandcleanlinesseverywhere。
`Yes，MissBrangwen，"shesaid，inherslightlywhining，insinuatingvoice，`andhowdoyoulikebeingbackintheoldplace，then？"
Gudrun，whomsheaddressed，hatedheratonce。
`Idon"tcareforit，"sherepliedabruptly。
`Youdon"t？Ay，well，IsupposeyoufoundadifferencefromLondon。
Youlikelife，andbig，grandplaces。SomeofushastobecontentwithWilleyGreenandBeldover。AndwhatdoyouthinkofourGrammarSchool，asthere"ssomuchtalkabout？"
`WhatdoIthinkofit？"Gudrunlookedroundatherslowly。`Doyoumean，doIthinkit"sagoodschool？"
`Yes。Whatisyouropinionofit？"
"Idothinkit"sagoodschool。"
Gudrunwasverycoldandrepelling。Sheknewthecommonpeoplehatedtheschool。
`Ay，youdo，then！I"veheardsomuch，onewayandtheother。It"snicetoknowwhatthosethat"sinitfeel。Butopinionsvary，don"tthey？MrCrichupatHighcloseisallforit。Ay，poorman，I"mafraidhe"snotlongforthisworld。He"sverypoorly。"
`Isheworse？"askedUrsula。
`Eh，yes——sincetheylostMissDiana。He"sgoneofftoashadow。Poorman，he"shadaworldoftrouble。"
`Hashe？"askedGudrun，faintlyironic。
`Hehas，aworldoftrouble。Andasniceandkindagentlemanaseveryoucouldwishtomeet。Hischildrendon"ttakeafterhim。"
`Isupposetheytakeaftertheirmother？"saidUrsula。
`Inmanyways。"MrsKrikloweredhervoicealittle。`Shewasaproudhaughtyladywhenshecameintotheseparts——myword，shewasthat！Shemustn"tbelookedat，anditwasworthyourlifetospeaktoher。"Thewomanmadeadry，slyface。
`Didyouknowherwhenshewasfirstmarried？"
`Yes，Iknewher。Inursedthreeofherchildren。Andproperlittleterrorstheywere，littlefiends——thatGeraldwasademonifevertherewasone，aproperdemon，ay，atsixmonthsold。"Acuriousmalicious，slytonecameintothewoman"svoice。
`Really，"saidGudrun。
`Thatwilful，masterful——he"dmasteredonenurseatsixmonths。Kick，andscream，andstrugglelikeademon。Many"sthetimeI"vepinchedhislittlebottomforhim，whenhewasachildinarms。Ay，andhe"dhavebeenbetterifhe"dhaditpinchedoftener。Butshewouldn"thavethemcorrected——no—o，wouldn"thearofit。IcanremembertherowsshehadwithMrCrich，myword。Whenhe"dgotworkedup，properlyworkeduptillhecouldstandnomore，he"dlockthestudydoorandwhipthem。Butshepacedupanddownallthewhilelikeatigeroutside，likeatiger，withverymurderinherface。Shehadafacethatcouldlookdeath。Andwhenthedoorwasopened，she"dgoinwithherhandslifted——"Whathaveyoubeendoingtomychildren，youcoward。"Shewaslikeoneoutofhermind。I
believehewasfrightenedofher;hehadtobedrivenmadbeforehe"dliftafinger。Didn"ttheservantshavealifeofit！Anddidn"tweusedtobethankfulwhenoneofthemcaughtit。Theywerethetormentofyourlife。"
`Really！"saidGudrun。
`Ineverypossibleway。Ifyouwouldn"tletthemsmashtheirpotsonthetable，ifyouwouldn"tletthemdragthekittenaboutwithastringrounditsneck，ifyouwouldn"tgivethemwhatevertheyaskedfor，everymortalthing——thentherewasashineon，andtheirmothercominginasking——"What"sthematterwithhim？Whathaveyoudonetohim？Whatisit，Darling？"Andthenshe"dturnonyouasifshe"dtrampleyouunderherfeet。Butshedidn"ttrampleonme。Iwastheonlyonethatcoulddoanythingwithherdemons——forshewasn"tgoingtobebotheredwiththemherself。
No，shetooknotroubleforthem。Buttheymustjusthavetheirway，theymustn"tbespokento。AndMasterGeraldwasthebeauty。Ileftwhenhewasayearandahalf，Icouldstandnomore。ButIpinchedhislittlebottomforhimwhenhewasinarms，Idid，whentherewasnoholdinghim，andI"mnotsorryIdid——"
Gudrunwentawayinfuryandloathing。Thephrase，`Ipinchedhislittlebottomforhim，"sentherintoawhite，stonyfury。Shecouldnotbearit，shewantedtohavethewomantakenoutatonceandstrangled。Andyettherethephrasewaslodgedinhermindforever，beyondescape。Shefelt，oneday，shewouldhavetotellhim，toseehowhetookit。Andsheloathedherselfforthethought。
ButatShortlandsthelife—longstrugglewascomingtoaclose。Thefatherwasillandwasgoingtodie。Hehadbadinternalpains，whichtookawayallhisattentivelife，andlefthimwithonlyavestigeofhisconsciousness。
Moreandmoreasilencecameoverhim，hewaslessandlessacutelyawareofhissurroundings。Thepainseemedtoabsorbhisactivity。Heknewitwasthere，heknewitwouldcomeagain。Itwaslikesomethinglurkinginthedarknesswithinhim。Andhehadnotthepower，orthewill，toseekitoutandtoknowit。Thereitremainedinthedarkness，thegreatpain，tearinghimattimes，andthenbeingsilent。Andwhenittorehimhecrouchedinsilentsubjectionunderit，andwhenitlefthimaloneagain，herefusedtoknowofit。Itwaswithinthedarkness，letitremainunknown。Soheneveradmittedit，exceptinasecretcornerofhimself，whereallhisnever—revealedfearsandsecretswereaccumulated。Fortherest，hehadapain，itwentaway，itmadenodifference。Itevenstimulatedhim，excitedhim。
Butitgraduallyabsorbedhislife。Graduallyitdrewawayallhispotentiality，itbledhimintothedark，itweanedhimoflifeanddrewhimawayintothedarkness。Andinthistwilightofhislifelittleremainedvisibletohim。Thebusiness，hiswork，thatwasgoneentirely。Hispublicinterestshaddisappearedasiftheyhadneverbeen。Evenhisfamilyhadbecomeextraneoustohim，hecouldonlyremember，insomeslightnon—essentialpartofhimself，thatsuchandsuchwerehischildren。Butitwashistoricalfact，notvitaltohim。Hehadtomakeanefforttoknowtheirrelationtohim。Evenhiswifebarelyexisted。Sheindeedwaslikethedarkness，likethepainwithinhim。Bysomestrangeassociation，thedarknessthatcontainedthepainandthedarknessthatcontainedhiswifewereidentical。Allhisthoughtsandunderstandingsbecameblurredandfused，andnowhiswifeandtheconsumingpainwerethesamedarksecretpoweragainsthim，thatheneverfaced。
Heneverdrovethedreadoutofitslairwithinhim。Heonlyknewthattherewasadarkplace，andsomethinginhabitingthisdarknesswhichissuedfromtimetotimeandrenthim。Buthedarednotpenetrateanddrivethebeastintotheopen。Hehadratherignoreitsexistence。Only，inhisvagueway，thedreadwashiswife，thedestroyer，anditwasthepain，thedestruction，adarknesswhichwasoneandboth。
Heveryrarelysawhiswife。Shekeptherroom。Onlyoccasionallyshecameforth，withherheadstretchedforward，andinherlow，possessedvoice，sheaskedhimhowhewas。Andheansweredher，inthehabitofmorethanthirtyyears:`Well，Idon"tthinkI"manytheworse，dear。"Buthewasfrightenedofher，underneaththissafeguardofhabit，frightenedalmosttothevergeofdeath。
Butallhislife，hehadbeensoconstanttohislights，hehadneverbrokendown。Hewoulddieevennowwithoutbreakingdown，withoutknowingwhathisfeelingswere，towardsher。Allhislife，hehadsaid:`PoorChristiana，shehassuchastrongtemper。"Withunbrokenwill，hehadstoodbythispositionwithregardtoher，hehadsubstitutedpityforallhishostility，pityhadbeenhisshieldandhissafeguard，andhisinfallibleweapon。
Andstill，inhisconsciousness，hewassorryforher，hernaturewassoviolentandsoimpatient。
Butnowhispity，withhislife，waswearingthin，andthedreadalmostamountingtohorror，wasrisingintobeing。Butbeforethearmourofhispityreallybroke，hewoulddie，asaninsectwhenitsshelliscracked。
Thiswashisfinalresource。Otherswouldliveon，andknowthelivingdeath，theensuingprocessofhopelesschaos。Hewouldnot。Hedenieddeathitsvictory。
Hehadbeensoconstanttohislights，soconstanttocharity，andtohisloveforhisneighbour。Perhapshehadlovedhisneighbourevenbetterthanhimself——whichisgoingonefurtherthanthecommandment。Always，thisflamehadburnedinhisheart，sustaininghimthrougheverything，thewelfareofthepeople。Hewasalargeemployeroflabour，hewasagreatmine—owner。Andhehadneverlostthisfromhisheart，thatinChristhewasonewithhisworkmen。Nay，hehadfeltinferiortothem，asiftheythroughpovertyandlabourwerenearertoGodthanhe。Hehadalwaystheunacknowledgedbelief，thatitwashisworkmen，theminers，whoheldintheirhandsthemeansofsalvation。TomovenearertoGod，hemustmovetowardshisminers，hislifemustgravitatetowardstheirs。Theywere，unconsciously，hisidol，hisGodmademanifest。Inthemheworshippedthehighest，thegreat，sympathetic，mindlessGodheadofhumanity。
Andallthewhile，hiswifehadopposedhimlikeoneofthegreatdemonsofhell。Strange，likeabirdofprey，withthefascinatingbeautyandabstractionofahawk，shehadbeatagainstthebarsofhisphilanthropy，andlikeahawkinacage，shehadsunkintosilence。Byforceofcircumstance，becausealltheworldcombinedtomakethecageunbreakable，hehadbeentoostrongforher，hehadkeptherprisoner。Andbecauseshewashisprisoner，hispassionforherhadalwaysremainedkeenasdeath。Hehadalwayslovedher，lovedherwithintensity。Withinthecage，shewasdeniednothing，shewasgivenalllicence。
Butshehadgonealmostmad。Ofwildandoverweeningtemper，shecouldnotbearthehumiliationofherhusband"ssoft，half—appealingkindnesstoeverybody。Hewasnotdeceivedbythepoor。Heknewtheycameandspongedonhim，andwhinedtohim，theworsesort;themajority，luckilyforhim，weremuchtooproudtoaskforanything，muchtooindependenttocomeknockingathisdoor。ButinBeldover，aseverywhereelse，therewerethewhining，parasitic，foulhumanbeingswhocomecrawlingaftercharity，andfeedingonthelivingbodyofthepubliclikelice。AkindoffirewouldgooverChristianaCrich"sbrain，asshesawtwomorepale—faced，creepingwomeninobjectionableblackclothes，cringinglugubriouslyupthedrivetothedoor。Shewantedtosetthedogsonthem，`HiRip！HiRing！Ranger！At"emboys，set"emoff。"ButCrowther，thebutler，withalltherestoftheservants，wasMrCrich"sman。Nevertheless，whenherhusbandwasaway，shewouldcomedownlikeawolfonthecrawlingsupplicants;
`Whatdoyoupeoplewant？Thereisnothingforyouhere。Youhavenobusinessonthedriveatall。Simpson，drivethemawayandletnomoreofthemthroughthegate。"
Theservantshadtoobeyher。Andshewouldstandwatchingwithaneyeliketheeagle"s，whilstthegroominclumsyconfusiondrovethelugubriouspersonsdownthedrive，asiftheywererustyfowls，scuttlingbeforehim。
Buttheylearnedtoknow，fromthelodge—keeper，whenMrsCrichwasaway，andtheytimedtheirvisits。Howmanytimes，inthefirstyears，wouldCrowtherknocksoftlyatthedoor:`Persontoseeyou，sir。"
`Whatname？"
`Grocock，sir。"
`Whatdotheywant？"Thequestionwashalfimpatient，halfgratified。
Helikedhearingappealstohischarity。
`Aboutachild，sir。"
`Showthemintothelibrary，andtellthemtheyshouldn"tcomeaftereleveno"clockinthemorning。"
`Whydoyougetupfromdinner？——sendthemoff，"hiswifewouldsayabruptly。
`Oh，Ican"tdothat。It"snotroublejusttohearwhattheyhavetosay。"
`Howmanymorehavebeenheretoday？Whydon"tyouestablishopenhouseforthem？Theywouldsoonoustmeandthechildren。"
`Youknowdear，itdoesn"thurtmetohearwhattheyhavetosay。Andiftheyreallyareintrouble——well，itismydutytohelpthemoutofit。"
`It"syourdutytoinvitealltheratsintheworldtognawatyourbones。"
`Come，Christiana，itisn"tlikethat。Don"tbeuncharitable。"
Butshesuddenlysweptoutoftheroom，andouttothestudy。Theresatthemeagrecharity—seekers，lookingasiftheywereatthedoctor"s。
`MrCrichcan"tseeyou。Hecan"tseeyouatthishour。Doyouthinkheisyourproperty，thatyoucancomewheneveryoulike？Youmustgoaway，thereisnothingforyouhere。"
Thepoorpeopleroseinconfusion。ButMrCrich，paleandblack—beardedanddeprecating，camebehindher，saying:
`Yes，Idon"tlikeyoucomingaslateasthis。I"llhearanyofyouinthemorningpartoftheday，butIcan"treallydowithyouafter。What"samissthen，Gittens。HowisyourMissis？"
`Why，she"ssunkverylow，MesterCrich，she"sa"mostgone，sheis——"
Sometimes，itseemedtoMrsCrichasifherhusbandweresomesubtlefuneralbird，feedingonthemiseriesofthepeople。Itseemedtoherhewasneversatisfiedunlesstherewassomesordidtalebeingpouredouttohim，whichhedrankinwithasortofmournful，sympatheticsatisfaction。
Hewouldhavenoraisond"etreiftherewerenolugubriousmiseriesintheworld，asanundertakerwouldhavenomeaningiftherewerenofunerals。
MrsCrichrecoiledbackuponherself，sherecoiledawayfromthisworldofcreepingdemocracy。Abandoftight，balefulexclusionfastenedroundherheart，herisolationwasfierceandhard，herantagonismwaspassivebutterriblypure，likethatofahawkinacage。Astheyearswenton，shelostmoreandmorecountoftheworld，sheseemedraptinsomeglitteringabstraction，almostpurelyunconscious。Shewouldwanderaboutthehouseandaboutthesurroundingcountry，staringkeenlyandseeingnothing。Sherarelyspoke，shehadnoconnectionwiththeworld。Andshedidnoteventhink。Shewasconsumedinafiercetensionofopposition，likethenegativepoleofamagnet。