第1章

ChapterOneONANexceptionallyhoteveningearlyinJulyayoungmancameoutofthegarretinwhichhelodgedinS。Placeandwalkedslowly,asthoughinhesitation,towardsK。bridge。

Hehadsuccessfullyavoidedmeetinghislandladyonthestaircase。

Hisgarretwasundertheroofofahigh,five-storiedhouseandwasmorelikeacupboardthanaroom。Thelandladywhoprovidedhimwithgarret,dinners,andattendance,livedonthefloorbelow,andeverytimehewentouthewasobligedtopassherkitchen,thedoorofwhichinvariablystoodopen。Andeachtimehepassed,theyoungmanhadasick,frightenedfeeling,whichmadehimscowlandfeelashamed。Hewashopelesslyindebttohislandlady,andwasafraidofmeetingher。

Thiswasnotbecausehewascowardlyandabject,quitethecontrary;

butforsometimepasthehadbeeninanoverstrainedirritablecondition,vergingonhypochondria。Hehadbecomesocompletelyabsorbedinhimself,andisolatedfromhisfellowsthathedreadedmeeting,notonlyhislandlady,butanyoneatall。Hewascrushedbypoverty,buttheanxietiesofhispositionhadoflateceasedtoweighuponhim。Hehadgivenupattendingtomattersofpracticalimportance;hehadlostalldesiretodoso。Nothingthatanylandladycoulddohadarealterrorforhim。Buttobestoppedonthestairs,tobeforcedtolistentohertrivial,irrelevantgossip,topesteringdemandsforpayment,threatsandcomplaints,andtorackhisbrainsforexcuses,toprevaricate,tolie-no,ratherthanthat,hewouldcreepdownthestairslikeacatandslipoutunseen。

Thisevening,however,oncomingoutintothestreet,hebecameacutelyawareofhisfears。

“Iwanttoattemptathinglikethatandamfrightenedbythesetrifles,“hethought,withanoddsmile。“Hm……yes,allisinaman"shandsandheletsitallslipfromcowardice,that"sanaxiom。Itwouldbeinterestingtoknowwhatitismenaremostafraidof。Takinganewstep,utteringanewwordiswhattheyfearmost……ButIamtalkingtoomuch。It"sbecauseIchatterthatIdonothing。OrperhapsitisthatIchatterbecauseIdonothing。I"velearnedtochatterthislastmonth,lyingfordaystogetherinmydenthinking……ofJacktheGiant-killer。WhyamIgoingtherenow?AmIcapableofthat?Isthatserious?Itisnotseriousatall。It"ssimplyafantasytoamusemyself;aplaything!Yes,maybeitisaplaything。“

Theheatinthestreetwasterrible：andtheairlessness,thebustleandtheplaster,scaffolding,bricks,anddustallabouthim,andthatspecialPetersburgstench,sofamiliartoallwhoareunabletogetoutoftowninsummer-allworkedpainfullyupontheyoungman"salreadyoverwroughtnerves。Theinsufferablestenchfromthepot-houses,whichareparticularlynumerousinthatpartofthetown,andthedrunkenmenwhomhemetcontinually,althoughitwasaworkingday,completedtherevoltingmiseryofthepicture。Anexpressionoftheprofoundestdisgustgleamedforamomentintheyoungman"srefinedface。Hewas,bytheway,exceptionallyhandsome,abovetheaverageinheight,slim,well-built,withbeautifuldarkeyesanddarkbrownhair。Soonhesankintodeepthought,ormoreaccuratelyspeakingintoacompleteblanknessofmind;hewalkedalongnotobservingwhatwasabouthimandnotcaringtoobserveit。Fromtimetotime,hewouldmuttersomething,fromthehabitoftalkingtohimself,towhichhehadjustconfessed。Atthesemomentshewouldbecomeconsciousthathisideasweresometimesinatangleandthathewasveryweak;fortwodayshehadscarcelytastedfood。

Hewassobadlydressedthatevenamanaccustomedtoshabbinesswouldhavebeenashamedtobeseeninthestreetinsuchrags。Inthatquarterofthetown,however,scarcelyanyshortcomingindresswouldhavecreatedsurprise。OwingtotheproximityoftheHayMarket,thenumberofestablishmentsofbadcharacter,thepreponderanceofthetradingandworkingclasspopulationcrowdedinthesestreetsandalleysintheheartofPetersburg,typessovariousweretobeseeninthestreetsthatnofigure,howeverqueer,wouldhavecausedsurprise。Buttherewassuchaccumulatedbitternessandcontemptintheyoungman"sheart,that,inspiteofallthefastidiousnessofyouth,hemindedhisragsleastofallinthestreet。Itwasadifferentmatterwhenhemetwithacquaintancesorwithformerfellowstudents,whom,indeed,hedislikedmeetingatanytime。Andyetwhenadrunkenmanwho,forsomeunknownreason,wasbeingtakensomewhereinahugewaggondraggedbyaheavydrayhorse,suddenlyshoutedathimashedrovepast：“Heythere,Germanhatter“bawlingatthetopofhisvoiceandpointingathim-theyoungmanstoppedsuddenlyandclutchedtremulouslyathishat。ItwasatallroundhatfromZimmerman"s,butcompletelywornout,rustywithage,alltornandbespattered,brimlessandbentononesideinamostunseemlyfashion。Notshame,however,butquiteanotherfeelingakintoterrorhadovertakenhim。

“Iknewit,“hemutteredinconfusion,“Ithoughtso!That"stheworstofall!Why,astupidthinglikethis,themosttrivialdetailmightspoilthewholeplan。Yes,myhatistoonoticeable……Itlooksabsurdandthatmakesitnoticeable……WithmyragsIoughttowearacap,anysortofoldpancake,butnotthisgrotesquething。Nobodywearssuchahat,itwouldbenoticedamileoff,itwouldberemembered……Whatmattersisthatpeoplewouldrememberit,andthatwouldgivethemaclue。Forthisbusinessoneshouldbeaslittleconspicuousaspossible……Trifles,triflesarewhatmatter!Why,it"sjustsuchtriflesthatalwaysruineverything……“

Hehadnotfartogo;heknewindeedhowmanystepsitwasfromthegateofhislodginghouse：exactlysevenhundredandthirty。Hehadcountedthemoncewhenhehadbeenlostindreams。Atthetimehehadputnofaithinthosedreamsandwasonlytantalisinghimselfbytheirhideousbutdaringrecklessness。Now,amonthlater,hehadbeguntolookuponthemdifferently,and,inspiteofthemonologuesinwhichhejeeredathisownimpotenceandindecision,hehadinvoluntarilycometoregardthis“hideous“dreamasanexploittobeattempted,althoughhestilldidnotrealisethishimself。Hewaspositivelygoingnowfora“rehearsal“ofhisproject,andateverystephisexcitementgrewmoreandmoreviolent。

Withasinkingheartandanervoustremor,hewentuptoahugehousewhichononesidelookedontothecanal,andontheotherintothestreet。Thishousewasletoutintinytenementsandwasinhabitedbyworkingpeopleofallkinds-tailors,locksmiths,cooks,Germansofsorts,girlspickingupalivingasbesttheycould,pettyclerks,&c。Therewasacontinualcomingandgoingthroughthetwogatesandinthetwocourtyardsofthehouse。Threeorfourdoor-keeperswereemployedonthebuilding。Theyoungmanwasverygladtomeetnoneofthem,andatonceslippedunnoticedthroughthedoorontheright,andupthestaircase。Itwasabackstaircase,darkandnarrow,buthewasfamiliarwithitalready,andknewhisway,andhelikedallthesesurroundings：insuchdarknesseventhemostinquisitiveeyeswerenottobedreaded。

“IfIamsoscarednow,whatwoulditbeifitsomehowcametopassthatIwerereallygoingtodoit？”hecouldnothelpaskinghimselfashereachedthefourthstorey。Therehisprogresswasbarredbysomeporterswhowereengagedinmovingfurnitureoutofaflat。HeknewthattheflathadbeenoccupiedbyaGermanclerkinthecivilservice,andhisfamily。ThisGermanwasmovingoutthen,andsothefourthflooronthisstaircasewouldbeuntenantedexceptbytheoldwoman。“That"sagoodthinganyway,“hethoughttohimself,asherangthebelloftheoldwoman"sflat。Thebellgaveafainttinkleasthoughitweremadeoftinandnotofcopper。Thelittleflatsinsuchhousesalwayshavebellsthatringlikethat。Hehadforgottenthenoteofthatbell,andnowitspeculiartinkleseemedtoremindhimofsomethingandtobringitclearlybeforehim……Hestarted,hisnerveswereterriblyoverstrainedbynow。Inalittlewhile,thedoorwasopenedatinycrack：theoldwomaneyedhervisitorwithevidentdistrustthroughthecrack,andnothingcouldbeseenbutherlittleeyes,glitteringinthedarkness。But,seeinganumberofpeopleonthelanding,shegrewbolder,andopenedthedoorwide。

Theyoungmansteppedintothedarkentry,whichwaspartitionedofffromthetinykitchen。Theoldwomanstoodfacinghiminsilenceandlookinginquiringlyathim。Shewasadiminutive,witheredupoldwomanofsixty,withsharpmalignanteyesandasharplittlenose。Hercolourless,somewhatgrizzledhairwasthicklysmearedwithoil,andsheworenokerchiefoverit。Roundherthinlongneck,whichlookedlikeahen"sleg,wasknottedsomesortofflannelrag,and,inspiteoftheheat,therehungflappingonhershoulders,amangyfurcape,yellowwithage。Theoldwomancoughedandgroanedateveryinstant。Theyoungmanmusthavelookedatherwitharatherpeculiarexpression,foragleamofmistrustcameintohereyesagain。

“Raskolnikov,astudent,Icamehereamonthago,“theyoungmanmadehastetomutter,withahalfbow,rememberingthatheoughttobemorepolite。

“Iremember,mygoodsir,Irememberquitewellyourcominghere,“

theoldwomansaiddistinctly,stillkeepingherinquiringeyesonhisface。

“Andhere……Iamagainonthesameerrand,“Raskolnikovcontinued,alittledisconcertedandsurprisedattheoldwoman"smistrust。“Perhapssheisalwayslikethatthough,onlyIdidnotnoticeittheothertime,“hethoughtwithanuneasyfeeling。

Theoldwomanpaused,asthoughhesitating;thensteppedononeside,andpointingtothedooroftheroom,shesaid,lettinghervisitorpassinfrontofher：

“Stepin,mygoodsir。“

Thelittleroomintowhichtheyoungmanwalked,withyellowpaperonthewalls,geraniumsandmuslincurtainsinthewindows,wasbrightlylightedupatthatmomentbythesettingsun。

“Sothesunwillshinelikethisthentoo！”flashedasitwerebychancethroughRaskolnikov"smind,andwitharapidglancehescannedeverythingintheroom,tryingasfaraspossibletonoticeandrememberitsarrangement。Buttherewasnothingspecialintheroom。Thefurniture,allveryoldandofyellowwood,consistedofasofawithahugebentwoodenback,anovaltableinfrontofthesofa,adressing-tablewithalooking-glassfixedonitbetweenthewindows,chairsalongthewallsandtwoorthreehalf-pennyprintsinyellowframes,representingGermandamselswithbirdsintheirhands-thatwasall。Inthecorneralightwasburningbeforeasmallikon。

Everythingwasveryclean;thefloorandthefurniturewerebrightlypolished;everythingshone。

“Lizaveta"swork,“thoughttheyoungman。Therewasnotaspeckofdusttobeseeninthewholeflat。

“It"sinthehousesofspitefuloldwidowsthatonefindssuchcleanliness,“Raskolnikovthoughtagain,andhestoleacuriousglanceatthecottoncurtainoverthedoorleadingintoanothertinyroom,inwhichstoodtheoldwoman"sbedandchestofdrawersandintowhichhehadneverlookedbefore。Thesetworoomsmadeupthewholeflat。

“Whatdoyouwant？”theoldwomansaidseverely,comingintotheroomand,asbefore,standinginfrontofhimsoastolookhimstraightintheface。

“I"vebroughtsomethingtopawnhere,“andhedrewoutofhispocketanold-fashionedflatsilverwatch,onthebackofwhichwasengravedaglobe;thechainwasofsteel。

“Butthetimeisupforyourlastpledge。Themonthwasupthedaybeforeyesterday。“

“Iwillbringyoutheinterestforanothermonth;waitalittle。“

“Butthat"sformetodoasIplease,mygoodsir,towaitortosellyourpledgeatonce。“

“Howmuchwillyougivemeforthewatch,AlyonaIvanovna？”

“Youcomewithsuchtrifles,mygoodsir,it"sscarcelyworthanything。Igaveyoutworoubleslasttimeforyourringandonecouldbuyitquitenewatajeweler"sforaroubleandahalf。“

“Givemefourroublesforit,Ishallredeemit,itwasmyfather"s。

Ishallbegettingsomemoneysoon。“

“Aroubleandahalf,andinterestinadvance,ifyoulike！”

“Aroubleandahalf！”criedtheyoungman。

“Pleaseyourself“-andtheoldwomanhandedhimbackthewatch。

Theyoungmantookit,andwassoangrythathewasonthepointofgoingaway;butcheckedhimselfatonce,rememberingthattherewasnowhereelsehecouldgo,andthathehadhadanotherobjectalsoincoming。

“Handitover,“hesaidroughly。

Theoldwomanfumbledinherpocketforherkeys,anddisappearedbehindthecurtainintotheotherroom。Theyoungman,leftstandingaloneinthemiddleoftheroom,listenedinquisitively,thinking。

Hecouldhearherunlockingthechestofdrawers。

“Itmustbethetopdrawer,“hereflected。“Soshecarriesthekeysinapocketontheright。Allinonebunchonasteelring……

Andthere"sonekeythere,threetimesasbigasalltheothers,withdeepnotches;thatcan"tbethekeyofthechestofdrawers……

thentheremustbesomeotherchestorstrong-box……that"sworthknowing。Strong-boxesalwayshavekeyslikethat……buthowdegradingitallis。“

Theoldwomancameback。

“Here,sir：aswesaytencopeckstheroubleamonth,soImusttakefifteencopecksfromaroubleandahalfforthemonthinadvance。ButforthetworoublesIlentyoubefore,youowemenowtwentycopecksonthesamereckoninginadvance。Thatmakesthirty-fivecopecksaltogether。SoImustgiveyouaroubleandfifteencopecksforthewatch。Hereitis。“

“What!onlyaroubleandfifteencopecksnow！”

“Justso。“

Theyoungmandidnotdisputeitandtookthemoney。Helookedattheoldwoman,andwasinnohurrytogetaway,asthoughtherewasstillsomethinghewantedtosayortodo,buthedidnothimselfquiteknowwhat。

“Imaybebringingyousomethingelseinadayortwo,AlyonaIvanovna-avaluablething-silver-acigarettebox,assoonasI

getitbackfromafriend……“hebrokeoffinconfusion。

“Well,wewilltalkaboutitthen,sir。“

“Good-bye-areyoualwaysathomealone,yoursisterisnotherewithyou？”Heaskedherascasuallyaspossibleashewentoutintothepassage。

“Whatbusinessissheofyours,mygoodsir？”

“Oh,nothingparticular,Isimplyasked。Youaretooquick……

Good-day,AlyonaIvanovna。“

Raskolnikovwentoutincompleteconfusion。Thisconfusionbecamemoreandmoreintense。Ashewentdownthestairs,heevenstoppedshort,twoorthreetimes,asthoughsuddenlystruckbysomethought。Whenhewasinthestreethecriedout,“Oh,God,howloathsomeitallis!andcanI,canIpossibly……No,it"snonsense,it"srubbish！”headdedresolutely。“Andhowcouldsuchanatrociousthingcomeintomyhead?Whatfilthythingsmyheartiscapableof。Yes,filthyaboveall,disgusting,loathsome,loathsome!-andforawholemonthI"vebeen……“Butnowords,noexclamations,couldexpresshisagitation。Thefeelingofintenserepulsion,whichhadbeguntooppressandtorturehisheartwhilehewasonhiswaytotheoldwoman,hadbynowreachedsuchapitchandhadtakensuchadefiniteformthathedidnotknowwhattodowithhimselftoescapefromhiswretchedness。Hewalkedalongthepavementlikeadrunkenman,regardlessofthepassers-by,andjostlingagainstthem,andonlycametohissenseswhenhewasinthenextstreet。Lookinground,henoticedthathewasstandingclosetoatavernwhichwasenteredbystepsleadingfromthepavementtothebasement。Atthatinstanttwodrunkenmencameoutatthedoor,andabusingandsupportingoneanother,theymountedthesteps。

Withoutstoppingtothink,Raskolnikovwentdownthestepsatonce。

Tillthatmomenthehadneverbeenintoatavern,butnowhefeltgiddyandwastormentedbyaburningthirst。Helongedforadrinkofcoldbeer,andattributedhissuddenweaknesstothewantoffood。Hesatdownatastickylittletableinadarkanddirtycorner;

orderedsomebeer,andeagerlydrankoffthefirstglassful。Atoncehefelteasier;andhisthoughtsbecameclear。

“Allthat"snonsense,“hesaidhopefully,“andthereisnothinginitalltoworryabout!It"ssimplyphysicalderangement。Justaglassofbeer,apieceofdrybread-andinonemomentthebrainisstronger,themindisclearerandthewillisfirm!Phew,howutterlypettyitallis！”

Butinspiteofthisscornfulreflection,hewasbynowlookingcheerfulasthoughheweresuddenlysetfreefromaterribleburden：

andhegazedroundinafriendlywayatthepeopleintheroom。Butevenatthatmomenthehadadimforebodingthatthishappierframeofmindwasalsonotnormal。

Therewerefewpeopleatthetimeinthetavern。Besidesthetwodrunkenmenhehadmetonthesteps,agroupconsistingofaboutfivemenandagirlwithaconcertinahadgoneoutatthesametime。

Theirdeparturelefttheroomquietandratherempty。Thepersonsstillinthetavernwereamanwhoappearedtobeanartisan,drunk,butnotextremelyso,sittingbeforeapotofbeer,andhiscompanion,ahuge,stoutmanwithagreybeard,inashortfull-skirtedcoat。

Hewasverydrunk：andhaddroppedasleeponthebench;everynowandthen,hebeganasthoughinhissleep,crackinghisfingers,withhisarmswideapartandtheupperpartofhisbodyboundingaboutonthebench,whilehehummedsomemeaninglessrefrain,tryingtorecallsomesuchlinesasthese：-

“HiswifeayearhefondlylovedHiswifea-ayearhe-fondlyloved。“-

Orsuddenlywakingupagain：-

“WalkingalongthecrowdedrowHemettheoneheusedtoknow。“-

Butnoonesharedhisenjoyment：hissilentcompanionlookedwithpositivehostilityandmistrustatallthesemanifestations。Therewasanothermanintheroomwholookedsomewhatlikearetiredgovernmentclerk。Hewassittingapart,nowandthensippingfromhispotandlookingroundatthecompany。He,too,appearedtobeinsomeagitation。

ChapterTwoRASKOLNIKOVwasnotusedtocrowds,and,aswesaidbefore,heavoidedsocietyofeverysort,moreespeciallyoflate。Butnowallatoncehefeltadesiretobewithotherpeople。Somethingnewseemedtobetakingplacewithinhim,andwithithefeltasortofthirstforcompany。Hewassowearyafterawholemonthofconcentratedwretchednessandgloomyexcitementthathelongedtorest,ifonlyforamoment,insomeotherworld,whateveritmightbe;and,inspiteofthefilthinessofthesurroundings,hewasgladnowtostayinthetavern。

Themasteroftheestablishmentwasinanotherroom,buthefrequentlycamedownsomestepsintothemainroom,hisjaunty,tarredbootswithredturn-overtopscomingintovieweachtimebeforetherestofhisperson。Heworeafullcoatandahorriblygreasyblacksatinwaistcoat,withnocravat,andhiswholefaceseemedsmearedwithoillikeanironlock。Atthecounterstoodaboyofaboutfourteen,andtherewasanotherboysomewhatyoungerwhohandedwhateverwaswanted。Onthecounterlaysomeslicedcucumber,somepiecesofdriedblackbread,andsomefish,choppedupsmall,allsmellingverybad。Itwasinsufferablyclose,andsoheavywiththefumesofspiritsthatfiveminutesinsuchanatmospheremightwellmakeamandrunk。

Therearechancemeetingswithstrangersthatinterestusfromthefirstmoment,beforeawordisspoken。SuchwastheimpressionmadeonRaskolnikovbythepersonsittingalittledistancefromhim,wholookedlikearetiredclerk。Theyoungmanoftenrecalledthisimpressionafterwards,andevenascribedittopresentiment。Helookedrepeatedlyattheclerk,partlynodoubtbecausethelatterwasstaringpersistentlyathim,obviouslyanxioustoenterintoconversation。Attheotherpersonsintheroom,includingthetavern-keeper,theclerklookedasthoughhewereusedtotheircompany,andwearyofit,showingashadeofcondescendingcontemptforthemaspersonsofstationandcultureinferiortohisown,withwhomitwouldbeuselessforhimtoconverse。Hewasamanoverfifty,baldandgrizzled,ofmediumheight,andstoutlybuilt。Hisface,bloatedfromcontinualdrinking,wasofayellow,evengreenish,tinge,withswolleneyelidsoutofwhichkeenreddisheyesgleamedlikelittlechinks。Buttherewassomethingverystrangeinhim;therewasalightinhiseyesasthoughofintensefeeling-perhapstherewereeventhoughtandintelligence,butatthesametimetherewasagleamofsomethinglikemadness。Hewaswearinganoldandhopelesslyraggedblackdresscoat,withallitsbuttonsmissingexceptone,andthatonehehadbuttoned,evidentlyclingingtothislasttraceofrespectability。Acrumpledshirtfrontcoveredwithspotsandstains,protrudedfromhiscanvaswaistcoat。Likeaclerk,heworenobeard,normoustache,buthadbeensolongunshaventhathischinlookedlikeastiffgreyishbrush。Andtherewassomethingrespectableandlikeanofficialabouthismannertoo。Buthewasrestless;heruffleduphishairandfromtimetotimelethisheaddropintohishandsdejectedlyrestinghisraggedelbowsonthestainedandstickytable。AtlasthelookedstraightatRaskolnikov,andsaidloudlyandresolutely：

“MayIventure,honouredsir,toengageyouinpoliteconversation?Forasmuchas,thoughyourexteriorwouldnotcommandrespect,myexperienceadmonishesmethatyouareamanofeducationandnotaccustomedtodrinking。Ihavealwaysrespectededucationwheninconjunctionwithgenuinesentiments,andIambesidesatitularcounsellorinrank。Marmeladov-suchismyname;titularcounsellor。I

makeboldtoinquire-haveyoubeenintheservice？”

“No,Iamstudying,“answeredtheyoungman,somewhatsurprisedatthegrandiloquentstyleofthespeakerandalsoatbeingsodirectlyaddressed。Inspiteofthemomentarydesirehehadjustbeenfeelingforcompanyofanysort,onbeingactuallyspokentohefeltimmediatelyhishabitualirritableanduneasyaversionforanystrangerwhoapproachedorattemptedtoapproachhim。

“Astudentthen,orformerlyastudent,“criedtheclerk。“JustwhatIthought!I"mamanofexperience,immenseexperience,sir,“andhetappedhisforeheadwithhisfingersinself-approval。“You"vebeenastudentorhaveattendedsomelearnedinstitution!……Butallowme……“Hegotup,staggered,tookuphisjugandglass,andsatdownbesidetheyoungman,facinghimalittlesideways。Hewasdrunk,butspokefluentlyandboldly,onlyoccasionallylosingthethreadofhissentencesanddrawlinghiswords。HepounceduponRaskolnikovasgreedilyasthoughhetoohadnotspokentoasoulforamonth。

“Honouredsir,“hebeganalmostwithsolemnity,“povertyisnotavice,that"satruesaying。YetIknowtoothatdrunkennessisnotavirtue,andthatthat"seventruer。Butbeggary,honouredsir,beggaryisavice。Inpovertyyoumaystillretainyourinnatenobilityofsoul,butinbeggary-never-noone。Forbeggaryamanisnotchasedoutofhumansocietywithastick,heissweptoutwithabroom,soastomakeitashumiliatingaspossible;andquiteright,too,forasmuchasinbeggaryIamreadytobethefirsttohumiliatemyself。Hencethepot-house!Honouredsir,amonthagoMr。Lebeziatnikovgavemywifeabeating,andmywifeisaverydifferentmatterfromme!Doyouunderstand?Allowmetoaskyouanotherquestionoutofsimplecuriosity：haveyoueverspentanightonahaybarge,ontheNeva？”

“No,Ihavenothappenedto,“answeredRaskolnikov。“Whatdoyoumean？”

“Well,I"vejustcomefromoneandit"sthefifthnightI"vesleptso……“Hefilledhisglass,emptieditandpaused。Bitsofhaywereinfactclingingtohisclothesandstickingtohishair。Itseemedquiteprobablethathehadnotundressedorwashedforthelastfivedays。Hishands,particularly,werefilthy。Theywerefatandred,withblacknails。

Hisconversationseemedtoexciteageneralthoughlanguidinterest。

Theboysatthecounterfelltosniggering。Theinnkeepercamedownfromtheupperroom,apparentlyonpurposetolistentothe“funnyfellow“andsatdownatalittledistance,yawninglazily,butwithdignity。EvidentlyMarmeladovwasafamiliarfigurehere,andhehadmostlikelyacquiredhisweaknessforhigh-flownspeechesfromthehabitoffrequentlyenteringintoconversationwithstrangersofallsortsinthetavern。Thishabitdevelopsintoanecessityinsomedrunkards,andespeciallyinthosewhoarelookedaftersharplyandkeptinorderathome。Henceinthecompanyofotherdrinkerstheytrytojustifythemselvesandevenifpossibleobtainconsideration。

“Funnyfellow！”pronouncedtheinnkeeper。“Andwhydon"tyouwork,whyaren"tyouatyourduty,ifyouareintheservice？”

“WhyamInotatmyduty,honouredsir,“Marmeladovwenton,addressinghimselfexclusivelytoRaskolnikov,asthoughithadbeenhewhoputthatquestiontohim。“WhyamInotatmyduty?DoesnotmyheartachetothinkwhatauselesswormIam?AmonthagowhenMr。

Lebeziatnikovbeatmywifewithhisownhands,andIlaydrunk,didn"tIsuffer?Excuseme,youngman,hasiteverhappenedtoyou……hm……

well,topetitionhopelesslyforaloan？”

“Yes,ithas。Butwhatdoyoumeanbyhopelessly？”

“Hopelesslyinthefullestsense,whenyouknowbeforehandthatyouwillgetnothingbyit。Youknow,forinstance,beforehandwithpositivecertaintythatthisman,thismostreputableandexemplarycitizen,willonnoconsiderationgiveyoumoney;andindeedIaskyouwhyshouldhe?ForheknowsofcoursethatIshan"tpayitback。

Fromcompassion?ButMr。Lebeziatnikovwhokeepsupwithmodernideasexplainedtheotherdaythatcompassionisforbiddennowadaysbyscienceitself,andthatthat"swhatisdonenowinEngland,wherethereispoliticaleconomy。Why,Iaskyou,shouldhegiveittome?

AndyetthoughIknowbeforehandthathewon"t,Isetofftohimand……“

“Whydoyougo？”putinRaskolnikov。

“Well,whenonehasnoone,nowhereelseonecango!Foreverymanmusthavesomewheretogo。Sincetherearetimeswhenoneabsolutelymustgosomewhere!Whenmyowndaughterfirstwentoutwithayellowticket,thenIhadtogo……(formydaughterhasayellowpassport),“headdedinparenthesis,lookingwithacertainuneasinessattheyoungman。“Nomatter,sir,nomatter！”hewentonhurriedlyandwithapparentcomposurewhenboththeboysatthecounterguffawedandeventheinnkeepersmiled-“Nomatter,Iamnotconfoundedbythewaggingoftheirheads;foreveryoneknowseverythingaboutitalready,andallthatissecretismadeopen。AndIacceptitall,notwithcontempt,butwithhumility。Sobeit!Sobeit!"Beholdtheman!"Excuseme,youngman,canyou……No,toputitmorestronglyandmoredistinctly;notcanyoubutdareyou,lookinguponme,assertthatIamnotapig？”

Theyoungmandidnotansweraword。

“Well,“theoratorbeganagainstolidlyandwithevenincreaseddignity,afterwaitingforthelaughterintheroomtosubside。“Well,sobeit,Iamapig,butsheisalady!Ihavethesemblanceofabeast,butKaterinaIvanovna,myspouse,isapersonofeducationandanofficer"sdaughter。Granted,granted,Iamascoundrel,butsheisawomanofanobleheart,fullofsentiments,refinedbyeducation。

Andyet……oh,ifonlyshefeltforme!Honouredsir,honouredsir,youknoweverymanoughttohaveatleastoneplacewherepeoplefeelforhim!ButKaterinaIvanovna,thoughsheismagnanimous,sheisunjust……Andyet,althoughIrealisethatwhenshepullsmyhairsheonlydoesitoutofpity-forIrepeatwithoutbeingashamed,shepullsmyhair,youngman,“hedeclaredwithredoubleddignity,hearingthesniggeringagain-“but,myGod,ifshewouldbutonce……Butno,no!It"sallinvainandit"snousetalking!Nousetalking!

Formorethanonce,mywishdidcometrueandmorethanonceshehasfeltformebut……suchismyfateandIamabeastbynature！”

“Rather！”assentedtheinnkeeperyawning。Marmeladovstruckhisfistresolutelyonthetable。

“Suchismyfate!Doyouknow,sir,doyouknow,Ihavesoldherverystockingsfordrink?Nothershoes-thatwouldbemoreorlessintheorderofthings,butherstockings,herstockingsIhavesoldfordrink!HermohairshawlIsoldfordrink,apresenttoherlongago,herownproperty,notmine;andweliveinacoldroomandshecaughtcoldthiswinterandhasbeguncoughingandspittingbloodtoo。

WehavethreelittlechildrenandKaterinaIvanovnaisatworkfrommorningtillnight;sheisscrubbingandcleaningandwashingthechildren,forshe"sbeenusedtocleanlinessfromachild。ButherchestisweakandshehasatendencytoconsumptionandIfeelit!

DoyousupposeIdon"tfeelit?AndthemoreIdrinkthemoreIfeelit。That"swhyIdrinktoo。Itrytofindsympathyandfeelingindrink……IdrinksothatImaysuffertwiceasmuch！”Andasthoughindespairhelaidhisheaddownonthetable。

“Youngman,“hewenton,raisinghisheadagain,“inyourfaceI

seemtoreadsometroubleofmind。WhenyoucameinIreadit,andthatwaswhyIaddressedyouatonce。Forinunfoldingtoyouthestoryofmylife,Idonotwishtomakemyselfalaughing-stockbeforetheseidlelisteners,whoindeedknowallaboutitalready,butIamlookingforamanoffeelingandeducation。Knowthenthatmywifewaseducatedinahigh-classschoolforthedaughtersofnoblemen,andonleavingshedancedtheshawldancebeforethegovernorandotherpersonagesforwhichshewaspresentedwithagoldmedalandacertificateofmerit。Themedal……well,themedalofcoursewassold-

longago,hm……butthecertificateofmeritisinhertrunkstillandnotlongagosheshowedittoourlandlady。Andalthoughsheismostcontinuallyonbadtermswiththelandlady,yetshewantedtotellsomeoneorotherofherpasthonoursandofthehappydaysthataregone。Idon"tcondemnherforit,Idon"tblameher,fortheonethingleftherisrecollectionofthepast,andalltherestisdustandashes。Yes,yes,sheisaladyofspirit,proudanddetermined。Shescrubsthefloorsherselfandhasnothingbutblackbreadtoeat,butwon"tallowherselftobetreatedwithdisrespect。That"swhyshewouldnotoverlookMr。Lebeziatnikov"srudenesstoher,andsowhenhegaveherabeatingforit,shetooktoherbedmorefromthehurttoherfeelingsthanfromtheblows。ShewasawidowwhenI

marriedher,withthreechildren,onesmallerthantheother。Shemarriedherfirsthusband,aninfantryofficer,forlove,andranawaywithhimfromherfather"shouse。Shewasexceedinglyfondofherhusband;buthegavewaytocards,gotintotroubleandwiththathedied。Heusedtobeatherattheend：andalthoughshepaidhimback,ofwhichIhaveauthenticdocumentaryevidence,tothisdayshespeaksofhimwithtearsandshethrowshimuptome;andIamglad,Iamgladthat,thoughonlyinimagination,sheshouldthinkofherselfashavingoncebeenhappy……AndshewasleftathisdeathwiththreechildreninawildandremotedistrictwhereIhappenedtobeatthetime;andshewasleftinsuchhopelesspovertythat,althoughIhaveseenmanyupsanddownsofallsort,Idon"tfeelequaltodescribingiteven。Herrelationshadallthrownheroff。Andshewasproud,too,excessivelyproud……Andthen,honouredsir,andthen,I,beingatthetimeawidower,withadaughteroffourteenleftmebymyfirstwife,offeredhermyhand,forIcouldnotbearthesightofsuchsuffering。Youcanjudgetheextremityofhercalamities,thatshe,awomanofeducationandcultureanddistinguishedfamily,shouldhaveconsentedtobemywife。Butshedid!Weepingandsobbingandwringingherhands,shemarriedme!Forshehadnowheretoturn!Doyouunderstand,sir,doyouunderstandwhatitmeanswhenyouhaveabsolutelynowheretoturn?No,thatyoudon"tunderstandyet……Andforawholeyear,Iperformedmydutiesconscientiouslyandfaithfully,anddidnottouchthis“(hetappedthejugwithhisfinger),“forIhavefeelings。Butevenso,Icouldnotpleaseher;andthenIlostmyplacetoo,andthatthroughnofaultofminebutthroughchangesintheoffice;andthenIdidtouchit!……Itwillbeayearandahalfagosoonsincewefoundourselvesatlastaftermanywanderingsandnumerouscalamitiesinthismagnificentcapital,adornedwithinnumerablemonuments。HereIobtainedasituation……IobtaineditandIlostitagain。Doyouunderstand?

ThistimeitwasthroughmyownfaultIlostit：formyweaknesshadcomeout……WehavenowpartofaroomatAmaliaFyodorovnaLippevechsel"s;andwhatweliveuponandwhatwepayourrentwith,I

couldnotsay。Therearealotofpeoplelivingtherebesidesourselves。Dirtanddisorder,aperfectBedlam……hm……yes……Andmeanwhilemydaughterbymyfirstwifehasgrownup;andwhatmydaughterhashadtoputupwithfromherstep-motherwhilstshewasgrowingup,Iwon"tspeakof。For,thoughKaterinaIvanovnaisfullofgenerousfeelings,sheisaspiritedlady,irritableandshort-tempered……Yes。Butit"snousegoingoverthat!Sonia,asyoumaywellfancy,hashadnoeducation。Ididmakeaneffortfouryearsagotogiveheracourseofgeographyanduniversalhistory,butasIwasnotverywellupinthosesubjectsmyselfandwehadnosuitablebooks,andwhatbookswehad……hm,anywaywehavenoteventhosenow,soallourinstructioncametoanend。WestoppedatCyrusofPersia。Sinceshehasattainedyearsofmaturity,shehasreadotherbooksofromantictendencyandoflateshehadreadwithgreatinterestabookshegotthroughMr。Lebeziatnikov,Lewes"

Physiology-doyouknowit?-andevenrecountedextractsfromittous：andthat"sthewholeofhereducation。AndnowmayIventuretoaddressyou,honouredsir,onmyownaccountwithaprivatequestion。Doyousupposethatarespectablepoorgirlcanearnmuchbyhonestwork?Notfifteenfarthingsadaycansheearn,ifsheisrespectableandhasnospecialtalentandthatwithoutputtingherworkdownforaninstant!Andwhat"smore,IvanIvanitchKlopstockthecivilcounsellor-haveyouheardofhim?-hasnottothisdaypaidherforthehalf-dozenlinenshirtsshemadehimanddroveherroughlyaway,stampingandrevilingher,onthepretextthattheshirtcollarswerenotmadelikethepatternandwereputinaskew。Andtherearethelittleoneshungry……AndKaterinaIvanovnawalkingupanddownandwringingherhands,hercheeksflushedred,astheyalwaysareinthatdisease："Hereyoulivewithus,"saysshe,"youeatanddrinkandarekeptwarmandyoudonothingtohelp。"Andmuchshegetstoeatanddrinkwhenthereisnotacrustforthelittleonesforthreedays!Iwaslyingatthetime……well,whatofit!IwaslyingdrunkandIheardmySoniaspeaking(sheisagentlecreaturewithasoftlittlevoice……fairhairandsuchapale,thinlittleface)。Shesaid："KaterinaIvanovna,amIreallytodoathinglikethat?"AndDaryaFrantsovna,awomanofevilcharacterandverywellknowntothepolice,hadtwoorthreetimestriedtogetatherthroughthelandlady。"Andwhynot?"saidKaterinaIvanovnawithajeer,"youaresomethingmightyprecioustobesocarefulof!"Butdon"tblameher,don"tblameher,honouredsir,don"tblameher!Shewasnotherselfwhenshespoke,butdriventodistractionbyherillnessandthecryingofthehungrychildren;anditwassaidmoretowoundherthananythingelse……Forthat"sKaterinaIvanovna"scharacter,andwhenchildrencry,evenfromhunger,shefallstobeatingthematonce。Atsixo"clockIsawSoniagetup,putonherkerchiefandhercape,andgooutoftheroomandaboutnineo"clockshecameback。ShewalkedstraightuptoKaterinaIvanovnaandshelaidthirtyroublesonthetablebeforeherinsilence。Shedidnotutteraword,shedidnotevenlookather,shesimplypickedupourbiggreendrapdedamesshawl(wehaveashawl,madeofdrapdedames),putitoverherheadandfaceandlaydownonthebedwithherfacetothewall;onlyherlittleshouldersandherbodykeptshuddering……AndIwentonlyingthere,justasbefore……AndthenIsaw,youngman,IsawKaterinaIvanovna,inthesamesilencegouptoSonia"slittlebed;

shewasonherkneesalltheeveningkissingSonia"sfeet,andwouldnotgetup,andthentheybothfellasleepineachother"sarms……

together,together……yes……andI……laydrunk。“

Marmeladovstoppedshort,asthoughhisvoicehadfailedhim。Thenhehurriedlyfilledhisglass,drank,andclearedhisthroat。

“Sincethen,sir,“hewentonafterabriefpause-“Sincethen,owingtoanunfortunateoccurrenceandthroughinformationgivenbyevil-intentionedpersons-inallwhichDaryaFrantsovnatookaleadingpartonthepretextthatshehadbeentreatedwithwantofrespect-

sincethenmydaughterSofyaSemyonovnahasbeenforcedtotakeayellowticket,andowingtothatsheisunabletogoonlivingwithus。Forourlandlady,AmaliaFyodorovnawouldnothearofit(thoughshehadbackedupDaryaFrantsovnabefore)andMr。Lebeziatnikovtoo……hm……AllthetroublebetweenhimandKaterinaIvanovnawasonSonia"saccount。AtfirsthewasformakinguptoSoniahimselfandthenallofasuddenhestoodonhisdignity："how,"saidhe,"canahighlyeducatedmanlikemeliveinthesameroomswithagirllikethat?"AndKaterinaIvanovnawouldnotletitpass,shestoodupforher……andsothat"showithappened。AndSoniacomestousnow,mostlyafterdark;shecomfortsKaterinaIvanovnaandgivesherallshecan……ShehasaroomattheKapernaumovs,thetailors,shelodgeswiththem;Kapernaumovisalamemanwithacleftpalateandallofhisnumerousfamilyhavecleftpalatestoo。Andhiswife,too,hasacleftpalate。Theyallliveinoneroom,butSoniahasherown,partitionedoff……Hm……yes……verypoorpeopleandallwithcleftpalates……yes。ThenIgotupinthemorning,andputonmyrags,liftedupmyhandstoheavenandsetofftohisexcellencyIvanAfanasyevitch。HisexcellencyIvanAfanasyevitch,doyouknowhim?No?Well,then,it"samanofGodyoudon"tknow。Heiswax……

waxbeforethefaceoftheLord;evenaswaxmelteth!……Hiseyesweredimwhenheheardmystory。"Marmeladov,oncealreadyyouhavedeceivedmyexpectations……I"lltakeyouoncemoreonmyownresponsibility"-that"swhathesaid,"remember,"hesaid,"andnowyoucango。"Ikissedthedustathisfeet-inthoughtonly,forinrealityhewouldnothaveallowedmetodoit,beingastatesmanandamanofmodernpoliticalandenlightenedideas。Ireturnedhome,andwhenIannouncedthatI"dbeentakenbackintotheserviceandshouldreceiveasalary,heavens,whatato-dotherewas……！”

Marmeladovstoppedagaininviolentexcitement。Atthatmomentawholepartyofrevellersalreadydrunkcameinfromthestreet,andthesoundsofahiredconcertinaandthecrackedpipingvoiceofachildofsevensinging“TheHamlet“wereheardintheentry。Theroomwasfilledwithnoise。Thetavern-keeperandtheboyswerebusywiththenew-comers。Marmeladovpayingnoattentiontothenewarrivalscontinuedhisstory。Heappearedbynowtobeextremelyweak,butashebecamemoreandmoredrunk,hebecamemoreandmoretalkative。Therecollectionofhisrecentsuccessingettingthesituationseemedtorevivehim,andwaspositivelyreflectedinasortofradianceonhisface。Raskolnikovlistenedattentively。

“Thatwasfiveweeksago,sir。Yes……AssoonasKaterinaIvanovnaandSoniaheardofit,mercyonus,itwasasthoughI

steppedintothekingdomofHeaven。Itusedtobe：youcanlielikeabeast,nothingbutabuse。Nowtheywerewalkingontiptoe,hushingthechildren。"SemyonZaharovitchistiredwithhisworkattheoffice,heisresting,shh!"TheymademecoffeebeforeIwenttoworkandboiledcreamforme!Theybegantogetrealcreamforme,doyouhearthat?Andhowtheymanagedtogettogetherthemoneyforadecentoutfit-elevenroubles,fiftycopecks,Ican"tguess。Boots,cottonshirt-fronts-mostmagnificent,auniform,theygotupallinsplendidstyle,forelevenroublesandahalf。ThefirstmorningIcamebackfromtheofficeIfoundKaterinaIvanovnahadcookedtwocoursesfordinner-soupandsaltmeatwithhorseradish-whichwehadneverdreamedoftillthen。Shehadnotanydresses……noneatall,butshegotherselfupasthoughsheweregoingonavisit;andnotthatshe"danythingtodoitwith,shesmartenedherselfupwithnothingatall,she"ddoneherhairnicely,putonacleancollarofsomesort,cuffs,andthereshewas,quiteadifferentperson,shewasyoungerandbetterlooking。Sonia,mylittledarling,hadonlyhelpedwithmoney"forthetime,"shesaid,"itwon"tdoformetocomeandseeyoutoooften。Afterdarkmaybewhennoonecansee。"Doyouhear,doyouhear?Ilaydownforanapafterdinnerandwhatdoyouthink：thoughKaterinaIvanovnahadquarrelledtothelastdegreewithourlandladyAmaliaFyodorovnaonlyaweekbefore,shecouldnotresistthenaskingherintocoffee。Fortwohourstheyweresitting,whisperingtogether。"SemyonZaharovitchisintheserviceagain,now,andreceivingasalary,"saysshe,"andhewenthimselftohisexcellencyandhisexcellencyhimselfcameouttohim,madealltheotherswaitandledSemyonZaharovitchbythehandbeforeeverybodyintohisstudy。"Doyouhear,doyouhear?"Tobesure,"

sayshe,"SemyonZaharovitch,rememberingyourpastservices,"sayshe,"andinspiteofyourpropensitytothatfoolishweakness,sinceyoupromisenowandsincemoreoverwe"vegotonbadlywithoutyou,"

(doyouhear,doyouhear;)"andso,"sayshe,"Irelynowonyourwordasagentleman。"Andallthat,letmetellyou,shehassimplymadeupforherself,andnotsimplyoutofwantonness,forthesakeofbragging;no,shebelievesitallherself,sheamusesherselfwithherownfancies,uponmywordshedoes!AndIdon"tblameherforit,no,Idon"tblameher!……SixdaysagowhenIbroughthermyfirstearningsinfull-twenty-threeroublesfortycopecksaltogether-shecalledmeherpoppet："poppet,"saidshe,"mylittlepoppet。"Andwhenwewerebyourselves,youunderstand?Youwouldnotthinkmeabeauty,youwouldnotthinkmuchofmeasahusband,wouldyou?……Well,shepinchedmycheek"mylittlepoppet,"saidshe。“

Marmeladovbrokeoff,triedtosmile,butsuddenlyhischinbegantotwitch。Hecontrolledhimselfhowever。Thetavern,thedegradedappearanceoftheman,thefivenightsinthehaybarge,andthepotofspirits,andyetthispoignantloveforhiswifeandchildrenbewilderedhislistener。Raskolnikovlistenedintentlybutwithasicksensation。Hefeltvexedthathehadcomehere。

“Honouredsir,honouredsir,“criedMarmeladovrecoveringhimself-

“Oh,sir,perhapsallthisseemsalaughingmattertoyou,asitdoestoothers,andperhapsIamonlyworryingyouwiththestupidityofallthetrivialdetailsofmyhomelife,butitisnotalaughingmattertome。ForIcanfeelitall……AndthewholeofthatheavenlydayofmylifeandthewholeofthateveningIpassedinfleetingdreamsofhowIwouldarrangeitall,andhowIwoulddressallthechildren,andhowIshouldgiveherrest,andhowIshouldrescuemyowndaughterfromdishonourandrestorehertothebosomofherfamily……Andagreatdealmore……Quiteexcusable,sir。

Well,then,sir(Marmeladovsuddenlygaveasortofstart,raisedhisheadandgazedintentlyathislistener)well,ontheverynextdayafterallthosedreams,thatistosay,exactlyfivedaysago,intheevening,byacunningtrick,likeathiefinthenight,IstolefromKaterinaIvanovnathekeyofherbox,tookoutwhatwasleftofmyearnings,howmuchitwasIhaveforgotten,andnowlookatme,allofyou!It"sthefifthdaysinceIlefthome,andtheyarelookingformethereandit"stheendofmyemployment,andmyuniformislyinginatavernontheEgyptianbridge。IexchangeditforthegarmentsI

haveon……andit"stheendofeverything！”

Marmeladovstruckhisforeheadwithhisfist,clenchedhisteeth,closedhiseyesandleanedheavilywithhiselbowonthetable。Butaminutelaterhisfacesuddenlychangedandwithacertainassumedslynessandaffectationofbravado,heglancedatRaskolnikov,laughedandsaid：

“ThismorningIwenttoseeSonia,Iwenttoaskherforapick-me-up!He-he-he！”

“Youdon"tsayshegaveittoyou？”criedoneofthenew-comers;

heshoutedthewordsandwentoffintoaguffaw。

“Thisveryquartwasboughtwithhermoney,“Marmeladovdeclared,addressinghimselfexclusivelytoRaskolnikov。“Thirtycopecksshegavemewithherownhands,herlast,allshehad,asIsaw……Shesaidnothing,sheonlylookedatmewithoutaword……Notonearth,butupyonder……theygrieveovermen,theyweep,buttheydon"tblamethem,theydon"tblamethem!Butithurtsmore,ithurtsmorewhentheydon"tblame!Thirtycopecksyes!Andmaybesheneedsthemnow,eh?Whatdoyouthink,mydearsir?Fornowshe"sgottokeepupherappearance。Itcostsmoney,thatsmartness,thatspecialsmartness,youknow?Doyouunderstand?Andthere"spomatum,too,yousee,shemusthavethings;petticoats,starchedones,shoes,too,realjauntyonestoshowoffherfootwhenshehastostepoverapuddle。Doyouunderstand,sir,doyouunderstandwhatallthatsmartnessmeans?

AndhereI,herownfather,hereItookthirtycopecksofthatmoneyforadrink!AndIamdrinkingit!AndIhavealreadydrunkit!

Come,whowillhavepityonamanlikeme,eh?Areyousorryforme,sir,ornot?Tellme,sir,areyousorryornot?He-he-he！”

Hewouldhavefilledhisglass,buttherewasnodrinkleft。Thepotwasempty。

“Whatareyoutobepitiedfor？”shoutedthetavern-keeperwhowasagainnearthem。

Shoutsoflaughterandevenoathsfollowed。Thelaughterandtheoathscamefromthosewhowerelisteningandalsofromthosewhohadheardnothingbutweresimplylookingatthefigureofthedischargedgovernmentclerk。

“Tobepitied!WhyamItobepitied？”Marmeladovsuddenlydeclaimed,standingupwithhisarmoutstretched,asthoughhehadbeenonlywaitingforthatquestion。

“WhyamItobepitied,yousay?Yes!there"snothingtopitymefor!Ioughttobecrucified,crucifiedonacross,notpitied!

Crucifyme,ohjudge,crucifymebutpityme!AndthenIwillgoofmyselftobecrucified,forit"snotmerry-makingIseekbuttearsandtribulation!……Doyousuppose,youthatsell,thatthispintofyourshasbeensweettome?ItwastribulationIsoughtatthebottomofit,tearsandtribulation,andhavefoundit,andIhavetastedit;butHewillpityusWhohashadpityonallmen,Whohasunderstoodallmenandallthings,HeistheOne。Hetooisthejudge。HewillcomeinthatdayandHewillask："Whereisthedaughterwhogaveherselfforhercross,consumptivestep-motherandforthelittlechildrenofanother?Whereisthedaughterwhohadpityuponthefilthydrunkard,herearthlyfather,undismayedbyhisbeastliness?"AndHewillsay,"Cometome!Ihavealreadyforgiventheeonce……Ihaveforgiventheeonce……Thysinswhicharemanyareforgiventheeforthouhastlovedmuch……"AndhewillforgivemySonia,Hewillforgive,Iknowit……IfeltitinmyheartwhenIwaswithherjustnow!AndHewilljudgeandwillforgiveall,thegoodandtheevil,thewiseandthemeek……AndwhenHehasdonewithallofthem,thenHewillsummonus。"Youtoocomeforth,"Hewillsay,"Comeforthyedrunkards,comeforth,yeweakones,comeforth,yechildrenofshame!"Andweshallallcomeforth,withoutshameandshallstandbeforehim。AndHewillsayuntous,"Yeareswine,madeintheImageoftheBeastandwithhismark;butcomeyealso!"Andthewiseonesandthoseofunderstandingwillsay,"OhLord,whydostThoureceivethesemen?"AndHewillsay,"ThisiswhyIreceivethem,ohyewise,thisiswhyIreceivethem,ohyeofunderstanding,thatnotoneofthembelievedhimselftobeworthyofthis。"AndHewillholdoutHishandstousandweshallfalldownbeforehim……andweshallweep……andweshallunderstandallthings!Thenweshallunderstandall!……andallwillunderstand,KaterinaIvanovnaeven……shewillunderstand……Lord,Thykingdomcome！”Andhesankdownonthebenchexhausted,andhelpless,lookingatnoone,apparentlyobliviousofhissurroundingsandplungedindeepthought。Hiswordshadcreatedacertainimpression;therewasamomentofsilence;butsoonlaughterandoathswereheardagain。

“That"shisnotion！”

“Talkedhimselfsilly！”

“Afineclerkheis！”

Andsoon,andsoon。

“Letusgo,sir,“saidMarmeladovallatonce,raisinghisheadandaddressingRaskolnikov-“comealongwithme……Kozel"shouse,lookingintotheyard。I"mgoingtoKaterinaIvanovna-timeIdid。“

Raskolnikovhadforsometimebeenwantingtogoandhehadmeanttohelphim。Marmeladovwasmuchunsteadieronhislegsthaninhisspeechandleanedheavilyontheyoungman。Theyhadtwoorthreehundredpacestogo。Thedrunkenmanwasmoreandmoreovercomebydismayandconfusionastheydrewnearerthehouse。

“It"snotKaterinaIvanovnaIamafraidofnow,“hemutteredinagitation-“andthatshewillbeginpullingmyhair。Whatdoesmyhairmatter!Bothermyhair!That"swhatIsay!Indeeditwillbebetterifshedoesbeginpullingit,that"snotwhatIamafraidof……it"shereyesIamafraidof……yes,hereyes……theredonhercheeks,too,frightensme……andherbreathingtoo……Haveyounoticedhowpeopleinthatdiseasebreathe……whentheyareexcited?Iamfrightenedofthechildren"scrying,too……ForifSoniahasnottakenthemfood……Idon"tknowwhat"shappened!Idon"tknow!ButblowsIamnotafraidof……Know,sir,thatsuchblowsarenotapaintome,butevenanenjoyment。InfactIcan"tgetonwithoutit……

It"sbetterso。Letherstrikeme,itrelievesherheart……it"sbetterso……Thereisthehouse。ThehouseofKozel,thecabinetmaker……aGerman,well-to-do。Leadtheway！”

Theywentinfromtheyardanduptothefourthstorey。Thestaircasegotdarkeranddarkerastheywentup。Itwasnearlyeleveno"clockandalthoughinsummerinPetersburgthereisnorealnight,yetitwasquitedarkatthetopofthestairs。

Agrimylittledoorattheverytopofthestairsstoodajar。Averypoor-lookingroomabouttenpaceslongwaslightedupbyacandle-end;

thewholeofitwasvisiblefromtheentrance。Itwasallindisorder,litteredupwithragsofallsorts,especiallychildren"sgarments。

Acrossthefurthestcornerwasstretchedaraggedsheet。Behinditprobablywasthebed。TherewasnothingintheroomexcepttwochairsandasofacoveredwithAmericanleather,fullofholes,beforewhichstoodanolddealkitchen-table,unpaintedanduncovered。Attheedgeofthetablestoodasmolderingtallow-candleinanironcandlestick。Itappearedthatthefamilyhadaroomtothemselves,notpartofaroom,buttheirroomwaspracticallyapassage。Thedoorleadingtotheotherrooms,orrathercupboards,intowhichAmaliaLippevechsel"sflatwasdividedstoodhalfopen,andtherewasshouting,uproarandlaughterwithin。Peopleseemedtobeplayingcardsanddrinkingteathere。Wordsofthemostunceremoniouskindflewoutfromtimetotime。

RaskolnikovrecognisedKaterinaIvanovnaatonce。Shewasarathertall,slimandgracefulwoman,terriblyemaciated,withmagnificentdarkbrownhairandwithahecticflushinhercheeks。Shewaspacingupanddowninherlittleroom,pressingherhandsagainstherchest;herlipswereparchedandherbreathingcameinnervousbrokengasps。Hereyesglitteredasinfeverandlookedaboutwithaharshimmovablestare。Andthatconsumptiveandexcitedfacewiththelastflickeringlightofthecandle-endplayinguponitmadeasickeningimpression。SheseemedtoRaskolnikovaboutthirtyyearsoldandwascertainlyastrangewifeforMarmeladov……Shehadnotheardthemanddidnotnoticethemcomingin。Sheseemedtobelostinthought,hearingandseeingnothing。Theroomwasclose,butshehadnotopenedthewindow;astenchrosefromthestaircase,butthedoorontothestairswasnotclosed。Fromtheinnerroomscloudsoftobaccosmokefloatedin,shekeptcoughing,butdidnotclosethedoor。Theyoungestchild,agirlofsix,wasasleep,sittingcurleduponthefloorwithherheadonthesofa。Aboyayearolderstoodcryingandshakinginthecorner,probablyhehadjusthadabeating。Besidehimstoodagirlofnineyearsold,tallandthin,wearingathinandraggedchemisewithanancientcashmerepelisseflungoverherbareshoulders,longoutgrownandbarelyreachingherknees。Herarm,asthinasastick,wasroundherbrother"sneck。

Shewastryingtocomforthim,whisperingsomethingtohim,anddoingallshecouldtokeephimfromwhimperingagain。Atthesametimeherlargedarkeyes,whichlookedlargerstillfromthethinnessofherfrightenedface,werewatchinghermotherwithalarm。Marmeladovdidnotenterthedoor,butdroppedonhiskneesintheverydoorway,pushingRaskolnikovinfrontofhim。Thewomanseeingastrangerstoppedindifferentlyfacinghim,comingtoherselfforamomentandapparentlywonderingwhathehadcomefor。

Butevidentlyshedecidedthathewasgoingintothenextroom,ashehadtopassthroughherstogetthere。Takingnofurthernoticeofhim,shewalkedtowardstheouterdoortocloseitandutteredasuddenscreamonseeingherhusbandonhiskneesinthedoorway。

“Ah！”shecriedoutinafrenzy,“hehascomeback!Thecriminal!

themonster!……Andwhereisthemoney?What"sinyourpocket,showme!Andyourclothesarealldifferent!Whereareyourclothes?

Whereisthemoney!speak！”

Andshefelltosearchinghim。Marmeladovsubmissivelyandobedientlyheldupbotharmstofacilitatethesearch。Notafarthingwasthere。

“Where"sthemoney？”shecried-“Mercyonus,canhehavedrunkitall?Thereweretwelvesilverroublesleftinthechest！”andinafurysheseizedhimbythehairanddraggedhimintotheroom。

Marmeladovsecondedhereffortsbymeeklycrawlingalongonhisknees。

“Andthisisaconsolationtome!Thisdoesnothurtme,butisapositivecon-so-la-tion,ho-nou-redsir,“hecalledout,shakentoandfrobyhishairandevenoncestrikingthegroundwithhisforehead。

Thechildasleeponthefloorwokeup,andbegantocry。Theboyinthecornerlosingallcontrolbegantremblingandscreamingandrushedtohissisterinviolentterror,almostinafit。Theeldestgirlwasshakinglikealeaf。

“He"sdrunkit!he"sdrunkitall,“thepoorwomanscreamedindespair-“andhisclothesaregone!Andtheyarehungry,hungry！”-andwringingherhandsshepointedtothechildren。“Oh,accursedlife!

Andyou,areyounotashamed？”-shepouncedallatonceuponRaskolnikov-“fromthetavern!Havebeendrinkingwithhim?Youhavebeendrinkingwithhim,too!Goaway！”

Theyoungmanwashasteningawaywithoututteringaword。Theinnerdoorwasthrownwideopenandinquisitivefaceswerepeeringinatit。Coarselaughingfaceswithpipesandcigarettesandheadswearingcapsthrustthemselvesinatthedoorway。Furtherincouldbeseenfiguresindressinggownsflungopen,incostumesofunseemlyscantiness,someofthemwithcardsintheirhands。Theywereparticularlydiverted,whenMarmeladov,draggedaboutbyhishair,shoutedthatitwasaconsolationtohim。Theyevenbegantocomeintotheroom;atlastasinistershrilloutcrywasheard：thiscamefromAmaliaLippevechselherselfpushingherwayamongstthemandtryingtorestoreorderafterherownfashionandforthehundredthtimetofrightenthepoorwomanbyorderingherwithcoarseabusetoclearoutoftheroomnextday。Ashewentout,Raskolnikovhadtimetoputhishandintohispocket,tosnatchupthecoppershehadreceivedinexchangeforhisroubleinthetavernandtolaythemunnoticedonthewindow。Afterwardsonthestairs,hechangedhismindandwouldhavegoneback。

“WhatastupidthingI"vedone,“hethoughttohimself,“theyhaveSoniaandIwantitmyself。“Butreflectingthatitwouldbeimpossibletotakeitbacknowandthatinanycasehewouldnothavetakenit,hedismisseditwithawaveofhishandandwentbacktohislodging。“Soniawantspomatumtoo,“hesaidashewalkedalongthestreet,andhelaughedmalignantly-“suchsmartnesscostsmoney……Hm!AndmaybeSoniaherselfwillbebankruptto-day,forthereisalwaysarisk,huntingbiggame……diggingforgold……thentheywouldallbewithoutacrustto-morrowexceptformymoney。

HurrahforSonia!Whataminethey"vedugthere!Andthey"remakingthemostofit!Yes,theyaremakingthemostofit!They"veweptoveritandgrownusedtoit。Mangrowsusedtoeverything,thescoundrel！”

Hesankintothought。

“AndwhatifIamwrong,“hecriedsuddenlyafteramoment"sthought。“Whatifmanisnotreallyascoundrel,maningeneral,I

mean,thewholeraceofmankind-thenalltherestisprejudice,simplyartificialterrorsandtherearenobarriersandit"sallasitshouldbe。“

ChapterThreeHEWAKEDuplatenextdayafterabrokensleep。Buthissleephadnotrefreshedhim;hewakedupbilious,irritable,ill-tempered,andlookedwithhatredathisroom。Itwasatinycupboardofaroomaboutsixpacesinlength。Ithadapoverty-strickenappearancewithitsdustyyellowpaperpeelingoffthewalls,anditwassolow-pitchedthatamanofmorethanaverageheightwasillateaseinitandfelteverymomentthathewouldknockhisheadagainsttheceiling。

Thefurniturewasinkeepingwiththeroom：therewerethreeoldchairs,ratherrickety;apaintedtableinthecorneronwhichlayafewmanuscriptsandbooks;thedustthatlaythickuponthemshowedthattheyhadbeenlonguntouched。Abigclumsysofaoccupiedalmostthewholeofonewallandhalfthefloorspaceoftheroom;itwasoncecoveredwithchintz,butwasnowinragsandservedRaskolnikovasabed。Oftenhewenttosleeponit,ashewas,withoutundressing,withoutsheets,wrappedinhisoldstudent"sovercoat,withhisheadononelittlepillow,underwhichheheapedupallthelinenhehad,cleananddirty,bywayofabolster。Alittletablestoodinfrontofthesofa。

Itwouldhavebeendifficulttosinktoalowerebbofdisorder,buttoRaskolnikovinhispresentstateofmindthiswaspositivelyagreeable。Hehadgotcompletelyawayfromeveryone,likeatortoiseinitsshell,andeventhesightoftheservantgirlwhohadtowaituponhimandlookedsometimesintohisroommadehimwrithewithnervousirritation。Hewasintheconditionthatovertakessomemonomaniacsentirelyconcentratedupononething。Hislandladyhadforthelastfortnightgivenupsendinghiminmeals,andhehadnotyetthoughtofexpostulatingwithher,thoughhewentwithouthisdinner。Nastasya,thecookandonlyservant,wasratherpleasedatthelodger"smoodandhadentirelygivenupsweepinganddoinghisroom,onlyonceaweekorsoshewouldstrayintohisroomwithabroom。Shewakedhimupthatday。

“Getup,whyareyouasleep！”shecalledtohim。“It"spastnine,Ihavebroughtyousometea;willyouhaveacup?Ishouldthinkyou"refairlystarving？”

Raskolnikovopenedhiseyes,startedandrecognizedNastasya。

“Fromthelandlady,eh？”heasked,slowlyandwithasicklyfacesittinguponthesofa。

“Fromthelandlady,indeed！”

Shesetbeforehimherowncrackedteapotfullofweakandstaleteaandlaidtwoyellowlumpsofsugarbythesideofit。

“Here,Nastasya,takeitplease,“hesaid,fumblinginhispocket(forhehadsleptinhisclothes)andtakingoutahandfulofcoppers-

“runandbuymealoaf。Andgetmealittlesausage,thecheapest,atthepork-butcher"s。“

“TheloafI"llfetchyouthisveryminute,butwouldn"tyouratherhavesomecabbagesoupinsteadofsausage?It"scapitalsoup,yesterday"s。Isaveditforyouyesterday,butyoucameinlate。

It"sfinesoup。“

Whenthesouphadbeenbrought,andhehadbegunuponit,Nastasyasatdownbesidehimonthesofaandbeganchatting。Shewasacountrypeasant-womanandaverytalkativeone。

“PraskovyaPavlovnameanstocomplaintothepoliceaboutyou,“

shesaid。

Hescowled。

“Tothepolice?Whatdoesshewant？”

“Youdon"tpayhermoneyandyouwon"tturnoutoftheroom。

That"swhatshewants,tobesure。“

“Thedevil,that"sthelaststraw,“hemuttered,grindinghisteeth,“no,thatwouldnotsuitme……justnow。Sheisafool,“headdedaloud。“I"llgoandtalktoherto-day。“

“Foolsheisandnomistake,justasIam。Butwhy,ifyouaresoclever,doyoulieherelikeasackandhavenothingtoshowforit?

Onetimeyouusedtogoout,yousay,toteachchildren。Butwhyisityoudonothingnow？”

“Iamdoing……“Raskolnikovbegansullenlyandreluctantly。

“Whatareyoudoing？”

“Work……“

“Whatsortofwork？”

“Iamthinking,“heansweredseriouslyafterapause。

Nastasyawasovercomewithafitoflaughter。Shewasgiventolaughterandwhenanythingamusedher,shelaughedinaudibly,quiveringandshakingallovertillshefeltill。

“Andhaveyoumademuchmoneybyyourthinking？”shemanagedtoarticulateatlast。

“Onecan"tgoouttogivelessonswithoutboots。AndI"msickofit。“

“Don"tquarrelwithyourbreadandbutter。“

“Theypaysolittleforlessons。What"stheuseofafewcoppers？”

heanswered,reluctantly,asthoughreplyingtohisownthought。

“Andyouwanttogetafortuneallatonce？”

Helookedatherstrangely。

“Yes,Iwantafortune,“heansweredfirmly,afterabriefpause。

“Don"tbeinsuchahurry,youquitefrightenme!ShallIgetyoutheloafornot？”

“Asyouplease。“

“Ah,Iforgot!Alettercameforyouyesterdaywhenyouwereout。“

“Aletter?forme!fromwhom？”

“Ican"tsay。Igavethreecopecksofmyowntothepostmanforit。Willyoupaymeback？”

“Thenbringittome,forGod"ssake,bringit,“criedRaskolnikovgreatlyexcited-“goodGod！”

Aminutelatertheletterwasbroughthim。Thatwasit：fromhismother,fromtheprovinceofR___。Heturnedpalewhenhetookit。

Itwasalongwhilesincehehadreceivedaletter,butanotherfeelingalsosuddenlystabbedhisheart。

“Nastasya,leavemealone,forgoodness"sake;hereareyourthreecopecks,butforgoodness"sake,makehasteandgo！”

Theletterwasquiveringinhishand;hedidnotwanttoopenitinherpresence;hewantedtobeleftalonewiththisletter。WhenNastasyahadgoneout,helifteditquicklytohislipsandkissedit;

thenhegazedintentlyattheaddress,thesmall,slopinghandwriting,sodearandfamiliar,ofthemotherwhohadoncetaughthimtoreadandwrite。Hedelayed;heseemedalmostafraidofsomething。Atlastheopenedit;itwasathickheavyletter,weighingovertwoounces,twolargesheetsofnotepaperwerecoveredwithverysmallhandwriting。

“MydearRodya,“wrotehismother-“it"stwomonthssinceIlasthadatalkwithyoubyletterwhichhasdistressedmeandevenkeptmeawakeatnight,thinking。ButIamsureyouwillnotblamemeformyinevitablesilence。YouknowhowIloveyou;youareallwehavetolookto,DouniaandI,youareourall,ouronehope,ouronestay。

WhatagriefitwastomewhenIheardthatyouhadgivenuptheuniversitysomemonthsago,forwantofmeanstokeepyourselfandthatyouhadlostyourlessonsandyourotherwork!HowcouldIhelpyououtofmyhundredandtwentyroublesayearpension?ThefifteenroublesIsentyoufourmonthsagoIborrowed,asyouknow,onsecurityofmypension,fromVassilyIvanovitchVahrushinamerchantofthistown。Heisakind-heartedmanandwasafriendofyourfather"stoo。Buthavinggivenhimtherighttoreceivethepension,I

hadtowaittillthedebtwaspaidoffandthatisonlyjustdone,sothatI"vebeenunabletosendyouanythingallthistime。Butnow,thankGod,IbelieveIshallbeabletosendyousomethingmoreandinfactwemaycongratulateourselvesonourgoodfortunenow,ofwhichIhastentoinformyou。Inthefirstplace,wouldyouhaveguessed,dearRodya,thatyoursisterhasbeenlivingwithmeforthelastsixweeksandweshallnotbeseparatedinthefuture。