第4章
Chichikovdulythankedhisinterlocutor，butcontinuedtodeclineeitherthegreyhorseortheroanmare。
“Thenbuyafewdogs，“saidNozdrev。“Icansellyouacoupleofhidesa-quiver，earswellpricked，coatslikequills，ribsbarrel-shaped，andpawssotuckedupasscarcelytograzethegroundwhentheyrun。“
“Ofwhatusewouldthosedogsbetome？Iamnotasportsman。“
“ButIWANTyoutohavethedogs。Listen。Ifyouwon"thavethedogs，thenbuymybarrel-organ。"Tisasplendidinstrument。AsamanofhonourIcantellyouthat，whennew，itcostmefifteenhundredroubles。Well，youshallhaveitforninehundred。“
“Come，come！WhatshouldIwantwithabarrel-organ？IamnotaGerman，togohaulingitabouttheroadsandbeggingforcoppers。“
“ButthisisquiteadifferentkindoforganfromtheonewhichGermanstakeaboutwiththem。Yousee，itisaREALorgan。Lookatitforyourself。Itismadeofthebestwood。Iwilltakeyoutohaveanotherviewofit。“
AndseizingChichikovbythehand，Nozdrevdrewhimtowardstheotherroom，where，inspiteofthefactthatChichikov，withhisfeetplantedfirmlyonthefloor，assuredhishost，againandagain，thatheknewexactlywhattheorganwaslike，hewasforcedoncemoretohearhowMarlboroughwenttothewar。
“Then，sinceyoudon"tcaretogivemeanymoneyforit，“persistedNozdrev，“listentothefollowingproposal。Iwillgiveyouthebarrel-organandallthedeadsoulswhichIpossess，andinreturnyoushallgivemeyourbritchka，andanotherthreehundredroublesintothebargain。“
“Listentotheman！Inthatcase，whatshouldIhavelefttodrivein？”
“Oh，Iwouldstandyouanotherbritchka。Cometothecoach-house，andIwillshowyoutheoneImean。Itonlyneedsrepaintingtolookaperfectlysplendidbritchka。“
“Theramping，incorrigibledevil！”thoughtChichikovtohimselfasatallhazardsheresolvedtoescapefrombritchkas，organs，andeveryspeciesofdog，howevermarvellouslybarrel-ribbedandtuckedupofpaw。
“Andinexchange，youshallhavethebritchka，thebarrel-organ，andthedeadsouls，“repeatedNozdrev。
“Imustdeclinetheoffer，“saidChichikov。
“Andwhy？”
“BecauseIdon"tWANTthethings——Iamfullupalready。“
“Icanseethatyoudon"tknowhowthingsshouldbedonebetweengoodfriendsandcomrades。Plainlyyouareamanoftwofaces。“
“Whatdoyoumean，youfool？Thinkforyourself。WhyshouldIacquirearticleswhichIdon"twant？”
“Saynomoreaboutit，ifyouplease。Ihavequitetakenyourmeasure。
Butseehere。Shouldyoucaretoplayagameofbanker？Iamreadytostakeboththedeadsoulsandthebarrel-organatcards。“
“No；toleaveanissuetocardsmeanstosubmitoneselftotheunknown，“saidChichikov，covertlyglancingatthepackwhichNozdrevhadgotinhishands。Somehowthewayinwhichhiscompanionhadcutthatpackseemedtohimsuspicious。
“Why"totheunknown"？”askedNozdrev。“Thereisnosuchthingas"theunknown。"Shouldluckbeonyourside，youmaywinthedevilknowswhatahaul。Oh，luck，luck！”hewenton，beginningtodeal，inthehopeofraisingaquarrel。“Hereisthecursednineuponwhich，theothernight，Ilosteverything。AllalongIknewthatIshouldlosemymoney。SaidItomyself："Thedeviltakeyou，youfalse，accursedcard！"“
JustasNozdrevutteredthewordsPorphyrienteredwithafreshbottleofliquor；butChichikovdeclinedeithertoplayortodrink。
“Whydoyourefusetoplay？”askedNozdrev。
“BecauseIfeelindisposedtodoso。Moreover，ImustconfessthatI
amnogreathandatcards。“
“WHYareyounogreathandatthem？”
Chichikovshruggedhisshoulders。“BecauseIamnot，“hereplied。
“YouarenogreathandatANYTHING，Ithink。“
“Whatdoesthatmatter？Godhasmademeso。“
“ThetruthisthatyouareaThetuk，andnothingelse。OnceuponatimeIbelievedyoutobeagoodfellow，butnowIseethatyoudon"tunderstandcivility。Onecannotspeaktoyouasonewouldtoanintimate，forthereisnofranknessorsincerityaboutyou。YouarearegularSobakevitch——justsuchanotherashe。“
“Forwhatreasonareyouabusingme？AmIinanywayatfaultfordecliningtoplaycards？Sellmethosesoulsifyouarethemantohesitateoversuchrubbish。“
“Thefoulfiendtakeyou！Iwasabouttohavegiventhemtoyoufornothing，butnowyoushan"thavethematall——notifyouoffermethreekingdomsinexchange。HenceforthIwillhavenothingtodowithyou，youcobbler，youdirtyblacksmith！Porphyri，goandtelltheostlertogivethegentleman"shorsesnooats，butonlyhay。“
ThisdevelopmentChichikovhadhardlyexpected。
“Anddoyou，“addedNozdrevtohisguest，“getoutofmysight。“
Yetinspiteofthis，hostandguesttooksuppertogether——eventhoughonthisoccasionthetablewasadornedwithnowinesoffictitiousnomenclature，butonlywithabottlewhichreareditssolitaryheadbesideajugofwhatisusuallyknownasvinordinaire。WhensupperwasoverNozdrevsaidtoChichikovasheconductedhimtoasideroomwhereabedhadbeenmadeup：
“Thisiswhereyouaretosleep。Icannotverywellwishyougood-night。“
LefttohimselfonNozdrev"sdeparture，Chichikovfeltinamostunenviableframeofmind。Fullofinwardvexation，heblamedhimselfbitterlyforhavingcometoseethismanandsowastedvaluabletime；
butevenmoredidheblamehimselfforhavingtoldhimofhisscheme——forhavingactedascarelesslyasachildoramadman。OfasuretytheschemewasnotonewhichoughttohavebeenconfidedtoamanlikeNozdrev，forhewasaworthlessfellowwhomightlieaboutit，andappendadditionstoit，andspreadsuchstoriesaswouldgiverisetoGodknowswhatscandals。“Thisisindeedbad！”Chichikovsaidtohimself。“Ihavebeenanabsolutefool。“Consequentlyhespentanuneasynight——thisuneasinessbeingincreasedbythefactthatanumberofsmall，butvigorous，insectssofeasteduponhimthathecoulddonothingbutscratchthespotsandexclaim，“ThedeviltakeyouandNozdrevalike！”Onlywhenmorningwasapproachingdidhefallasleep。Onrising，hemadeithisfirstbusiness(afterdonningdressing-gownandslippers)tocrossthecourtyardtothestable，forthepurposeoforderingSelifantoharnessthebritchka。JustashewasreturningfromhiserrandheencounteredNozdrev，cladinadressing-gown，andholdingapipebetweenhisteeth。
Hostandguestgreetedoneanotherinfriendlyfashion，andNozdrevinquiredhowChichikovhadslept。
“Fairlywell，“repliedChichikov，butwithatouchofdrynessinhistone。
“Thesamewithmyself，“saidNozdrev。“Thetruthisthatsuchalotofnastybruteskeptcrawlingovermethateventospeakofitgivesmetheshudders。Likewise，astheeffectoflastnight"sdoings，awholesquadronofsoldiersseemedtobecampingonmychest，andgivingmeaflogging。Ugh！AndwhomalsodoyouthinkIsawinadream？Youwouldneverguess。Why，itwasStaff-CaptainPotsieluevandLieutenantKuvshinnikov！”
“Yes，“thoughChichikovtohimself，“andIwishthattheytoowouldgiveyouapublicthrashing！”
“Ifeltsoill！”wentonNozdrev。“AndjustafterIhadfallenasleepsomethingDIDcomeandstingme。Probablyitwasapartyofhagfleas。Now，dressyourself，andIwillbewithyoupresently。FirstofallImustgivethatscoundrelofabailiffawigging。“
Chichikovdepartedtohisownroomtowashanddress；whichprocesscompleted，heenteredthedining-roomtofindthetablelaidwithtea-thingsandabottleofrum。Clearlynobroomhadyettouchedtheplace，forthereremainedtracesofthepreviousnight"sdinnerandsupperintheshapeofcrumbsthrownoverthefloorandtobaccoashonthetablecloth。Thehosthimself，whenheentered，wasstillcladinadressing-gownexposingahairychest；andashesatholdinghispipeinhishand，anddrinkingteafromacup，hewouldhavemadeamodelforthesortofpainterwhopreferstoportraygentlemenofthelesscurledandscentedorder。
“Whatthinkyou？”heaskedofChichikovafterashortsilence。“AreyouwillingNOWtoplaymeforthosesouls？”
“IhavetoldyouthatIneverplaycards。Ifthesoulsareforsale，I
willbuythem。“
“Ideclinetosellthem。Suchwouldnotbethecourseproperbetweenfriends。Butagameofbankerwouldbequiteanothermatter。Letusdealthecards。“
“IhavetoldyouthatIdeclinetoplay。“
“Andyouwillnotagreetoanexchange？”
“No。“
“Thenlookhere。Supposeweplayagameofchess。Ifyouwin，thesoulsshallbeyours。TherearelotwhichIshouldliketoseecrossedofftherevisionlist。Hi，Porphyri！Bringmethechessboard。“
“Youarewastingyourtime。Iwillplayneitherchessnorcards。“
“Butchessisdifferentfromplayingwithabank。Inchesstherecanbeneitherlucknorcheating，foreverythingdependsuponskill。Infact，IwarnyouthatIcannotpossiblyplaywithyouunlessyouallowmeamoveortwoinadvance。“
“Thesamewithme，“thoughtChichikov。“ShallI，orshallInot，playthisfellow？Iusednottobeabadchess-player，anditisasportinwhichhewouldfinditmoredifficulttobeuptohistricks。“
“Verywell，“headdedaloud。“IWILLplayyouatchess。“
“Andstakethesoulsforahundredroubles？”askedNozdrev。
“No。Whyforahundred？Woulditnotbesufficienttostakethemforfifty？”
“No。Whatwouldbetheuseoffifty？Nevertheless，forthehundredroublesIwillthrowinamoderatelyoldpuppy，orelseagoldsealandwatch-chain。“
“Verywell，“assentedChichikov。
“Thenhowmanymovesareyougoingtoallowme？”
“IsTHATtobepartofthebargain？Why，none，ofcourse。“
“Atleastallowmetwo。“
“No，none。Imyselfamonlyapoorplayer。“
“_I_knowyouandyourpoorplay，“saidNozdrev，movingachessman。
“Infact，itisalongtimesincelastIhadachessmaninmyhand，“
repliedChichikov，alsomovingapiece。
“Ah！_I_knowyouandyourpoorplay，“repeatedNozdrev，movingasecondchessman。
“IsayagainthatitisalongtimesincelastIhadachessmaninmyhand。“AndChichikov，inhisturn，moved。
“Ah！_I_knowyouandyourpoorplay，“repeatedNozdrev，forthethirdtimeashemadeathirdmove。Atthesamemomentthecuffofoneofhissleeveshappenedtodislodgeanotherchessmanfromitsposition。
“Again，Isay，“saidChichikov，“that"tisalongtimesincelast——Buthi！lookhere！Putthatpiecebackinitsplace！”
“Whatpiece？”
“Thisone。“AndalmostasChichikovspokehesawathirdchessmancomingintoviewbetweenthequeens。Godonlyknowswhencethatchessmanhadmaterialised。
“No，no！”shoutedChichikovasherosefromthetable。“Itisimpossibletoplaywithamanlikeyou。Peopledon"tmovethreepiecesatonce。“
“How"threepieces"？AllthatIhavedoneistomakeamistake——tomoveoneofmypiecesbyaccident。Ifyoulike，Iwillforfeitittoyou。“
“Andwhencehasthethirdpiececome？”
“Whatthirdpiece？”
“Theonenowstandingbetweenthequeens？”
“"Tisoneofyourownpieces。Surelyyouareforgetting？”
“No，no，myfriend。Ihavecountedeverymove，andcanremembereachone。Thatpiecehasonlyjustbecomeaddedtotheboard。Putitbackinitsplace，Isay。“
“Itsplace？WhichISitsplace？”ButNozdrevhadreddenedagooddeal。“Iperceiveyoutobeastrategistatthegame。“
“No，no，goodfriend。YOUarethestrategist——thoughanunsuccessfulone，asithappens。“
“Thenofwhatareyousupposingmecapable？Ofcheatingyou？”
“Iamnotsupposingyoucapableofanything。AllthatIsayisthatI
willnotplaywithyouanymore。“
“Butyoucan"trefuseto，“saidNozdrev，growingheated。“Yousee，thegamehasbegun。“
“Nevertheless，Ihavearightnottocontinueit，seeingthatyouarenotplayingasanhonestmanshoulddo。“
“Youarelying——youcannottruthfullysaythat。“
“"Tisyouwhoarelying。“
“ButIhaveNOTcheated。Consequentlyyoucannotrefusetoplay，butmustcontinuethegametoafinish。“
“Youcannotforcemetoplay，“retortedChichikovcoldlyas，turningtothechessboard，hesweptthepiecesintoconfusion。
NozdrevapproachedChichikovwithamannersothreateningthattheotherfellbackacoupleofpaces。
“IWILLforceyoutoplay，“saidNozdrev。“Itisnouseyoumakingamessofthechessboard，forIcanremembereverymove。Wewillreplacethechessmenexactlyastheywere。“
“No，no，myfriend。Thegameisover，andIplayyounomore。“
“Yousaythatyouwillnot？”
“Yes。Surelyyoucanseeforyourselfthatsuchathingisimpossible？”
“Thatcockwon"tfight。Sayatoncethatyourefusetoplaywithme。“
AndNozdrevapproachedastepnearer。
“Verywell；IDOsaythat，“repliedChichikov，andatthesamemomentraisedhishandstowardshisface，forthedisputewasgrowingheated。Norwastheactofcautionaltogetherunwarranted，forNozdrevalsoraisedhisfist，anditmaybethatoneofherhero"splump，pleasant-lookingcheekswouldhavesustainedanindelibleinsulthadnothe(Chichikov)parriedtheblowand，seizingNozdrevbyhiswhirlingarms，heldthemfast。
“Porphyri！Pavlushka！”shoutedNozdrevasmadlyhestrovetofreehimself。
Onhearingthewords，Chichikov，bothbecausehewishedtoavoidrenderingtheservantswitnessesoftheunedifyingsceneandbecausehefeltthatitwouldbeofnoavailtoholdNozdrevanylonger，letgoofthelatter"sarms；butatthesamemomentPorphyriandPavlushkaenteredtheroom——apairofstoutrascalswithwhomitwouldbeunwisetomeddle。
“Doyou，ordoyounot，intendtofinishthegame？”saidNozdrev。
“Givemeadirectanswer。“
“No；itwillnotbepossibletofinishthegame，“repliedChichikov，glancingoutofthewindow。Hecouldseehisbritchkastandingreadyforhim，andSelifanevidentlyawaitingorderstodrawuptotheentrancesteps。Butfromtheroomtherewasnoescape，sinceinthedoorwaywaspostedthecoupleofwell-builtserving-men。
“ThenitisasIsay？Yourefusetofinishthegame？”repeatedNozdrev，hisfaceasredasfire。
“Iwouldhavefinishedithadyouplayedlikeamanofhonour。But，asitis，Icannot。“
“Youcannot，eh，youvillain？Youfindthatyoucannotassoonasyoufindthatyouarenotwinning？Thrashhim，youfellows！”AndashespokeNozdrevgraspedthecherrywoodshankofhispipe。Chichikovturnedaswhiteasasheet。Hetriedtosaysomething，buthisquiveringlipsemittednosound。“Thrashhim！”againshoutedNozdrevasherushedforwardinastateofheatandperspirationmorepropertoawarriorwhoisattackinganimpregnablefortress。“Thrashhim！”
againheshoutedinavoicelikethatofsomehalf-dementedlieutenantwhosedesperatebraveryhasacquiredsuchareputationthatordershavehadtobeissuedthathishandsshallbeheldlestheattemptdeedsofover-presumptuousdaring。Seizedwiththemilitaryspirit，however，thelieutenant"sheadbeginstowhirl，andbeforehiseyethereflitstheimageofSuvorov[4]。Headvancestothegreatencounter，andimpulsivelycries，“Forward，mysons！”——criesitwithoutreflectingthathemaybespoilingtheplanofthegeneralattack，thatmillionsofriflesmaybeprotrudingtheirmuzzlesthroughtheembrasuresoftheimpregnable，toweringwallsofthefortress，thathisownimpotentassaultmaybedestinedtobedissipatedlikedustbeforethewind，andthatalreadytheremayhavebeenlaunchedonitswhistlingcareerthebulletwhichistocloseforeverhisvociferousthroat。However，ifNozdrevresembledtheheadstrong，desperatelieutenantwhomwehavejustpicturedasadvancinguponafortress，atleastthefortressitselfinnowayresembledtheimpregnablestrongholdwhichIhavedescribed。Asamatteroffact，thefortressbecameseizedwithapanicwhichdroveitsspiritintoitsboots。Firstofall，thechairwithwhichChichikov(thefortressinquestion)soughttodefendhimselfwaswrestedfromhisgraspbytheserfs，andthen——blinkingandneitheralivenordead——heturnedtoparrytheCircassianpipe-stemofhishost。Infact，GodonlyknowswhatwouldhavehappenedhadnotthefatesbeenpleasedbyamiracletodeliverChichikov"selegantbackandshouldersfromtheonslaught。Suddenly，andasunexpectedlyasthoughthesoundhadcomefromtheclouds，theremadeitselfheardthetinklingnotesofacollar-bell，andthentherumbleofwheelsapproachingtheentrancesteps，and，lastly，thesnortingandhardbreathingofateamofhorsesasavehiclecametoastandstill。
Involuntarilyallpresentglancedthroughthewindow，andsawamancladinasemi-militarygreatcoatleapfromabuggy。Aftermakinganinquiryortwointhehall，heenteredthedining-roomjustatthejuncturewhenChichikov，almostswooningwithterror，hadfoundhimselfplacedinaboutasawkwardasituationascouldwellbefallamortalman。
[4]ThegreatRussiangeneralwho，afterwinningfameintheSevenYears"War，metwithdisasterwhenattemptingtoassisttheAustriansagainsttheFrenchin1799。
“KindlytellmewhichofyouisMonsieurNozdrev？”saidtheunknownwithaglanceofperplexitybothatthepersonnamed(whowasstillstandingwithpipe-shankupraised)andatChichikov(whowasjustbeginningtorecoverfromhisunpleasantpredicament)。
“KindlytellMEwhomIhavethehonourofaddressing？”retortedNozdrevasheapproachedtheofficial。
“IamtheSuperintendentofRuralPolice。“
“Andwhatdoyouwant？”
“Ihavecometofulfilacommissionimposeduponme。Thatistosay，Ihavecometoplaceyouunderarrestuntilyourcaseshallhavebeendecided。“
“Rubbish！Whatcase，pray？”
“Thecaseinwhichyouinvolvedyourselfwhen，inadrunkencondition，andthroughtheinstrumentalityofawalking-stick，youofferedgraveoffencetothepersonofLandownerMaksimov。“
“Youlie！ToyourfaceItellyouthatneverinmylifehaveIseteyesuponLandownerMaksimov。“
“Goodsir，allowmetorepresenttoyouthatIamaGovernmentofficer。
Speecheslikethatyoumayaddresstoyourservants，butnottome。“
AtthispointChichikov，withoutwaitingforNozdrev"sreply，seizedhiscap，slippedbehindtheSuperintendent"sback，rushedoutontotheverandah，sprangintohisbritchka，andorderedSelifantodrivelikethewind。
CHAPTERV
CertainlyChichikovwasathoroughcoward，for，althoughthebritchkapursueditsheadlongcourseuntilNozdrev"sestablishmenthaddisappearedbehindhillocksandhedgerows，ourherocontinuedtoglancenervouslybehindhim，asthougheverymomentexpectingtoseeasternchasebegin。Hisbreathcamewithdifficulty，andwhenhetriedhisheartwithhishandshecouldfeelitflutteringlikeaquailcaughtinanet。
“Whatasweatthefellowhasthrownmeinto！”hethoughttohimself，whilemanyadireandforcefulaspirationpassedthroughhismind。
Indeed，theexpressionstowhichhegaveventweremostinelegantintheirnature。Butwhatwastobedonenext？HewasaRussianandthoroughlyaroused。Theaffairhadbeennojoke。“ButfortheSuperintendent，“hereflected，“ImightneveragainhavelookeduponGod"sdaylight——Imighthavevanishedlikeabubbleonapool，andleftneithertracenorposteritynorpropertynoranhonourablenameformyfutureoffspringtoinherit！”(itseemedthatourherowasparticularlyanxiouswithregardtohispossibleissue)。
“Whatascurvybarin！”musedSelifanashedrovealong。“NeverhaveI
seensuchabarin。Ishouldliketospitinhisface。"Tisbettertoallowamannothingtoeatthantorefusetofeedahorseproperly。A
horseneedshisoats——theyarehisproperfare。Evenifyoumakeamanprocureamealathisownexpense，don"tdenyahorsehisoats，forheoughtalwaystohavethem。“
AnequallypooropinionofNozdrevseemedtobecherishedalsobythesteeds，fornotonlywerethebayandtheAssessorclearlyoutofspirits，buteventheskewbaldwaswearingadejectedair。True，athometheskewbaldgotnonebutthepoorersortsofoatstoeat，andSelifanneverfilledhistroughwithouthavingfirstcalledhimavillain；butatleasttheyWEREoats，andnothay——theywerestuffwhichcouldbechewedwithacertainamountofrelish。Also，therewasthefactthatatintervalshecouldintrudehislongnoseintohiscompanions"troughs(especiallywhenSelifanhappenedtobeabsentfromthestable)andascertainwhatTHEIRprovenderwaslike。ButatNozdrev"stherehadbeennothingbuthay！Thatwasnotright。Allthreehorsesfeltgreatlydiscontented。
Butpresentlythemalcontentshadtheirreflectionscutshortinaveryrudeandunexpectedmanner。Thatistosay，theywerebroughtbacktopracticalitiesbycomingintoviolentcollisionwithasix-horsedvehicle，whileupontheirheadsdescendedbothababelofcriesfromtheladiesinsideandastormofcursesandabusefromthecoachman。“Ah，youdamnedfool！”hevociferated。“Ishoutedtoyouloudenough！Drawout，youoldraven，andkeeptotheright！Areyoudrunk？”Selifanhimselffeltconsciousthathehadbeencareless，butsinceaRussiandoesnotcaretoadmitafaultinthepresenceofstrangers，heretortedwithdignity：“WhyhaveyourunintoUS？Didyouleaveyoureyesbehindyouatthelasttavernthatyoustoppedat？”Withthathestartedtobackthebritchka，inthehopethatitmightgetclearoftheother"sharness；butthiswouldnotdo，forthepairweretoohopelesslyintertwined。Meanwhiletheskewbaldsnuffedcuriouslyathisnewacquaintancesastheystoodplantedoneithersideofhim；whiletheladiesinthevehicleregardedthescenewithanexpressionofterror。Oneofthemwasanoldwoman，andtheotheradamselofaboutsixteen。Amassofgoldenhairfelldaintilyfromasmallhead，andtheovalofhercomelyfacewasasshapelyasanegg，andwhitewiththetransparentwhitenessseenwhenthehandsofahousewifeholdanew-laideggtothelighttoletthesun"sraysfilterthroughitsshell。Thesametintmarkedthemaiden"searswheretheyglowedinthesunshine，and，inshort，whatwiththetearsinherwide-open，arrestingeyes，shepresentedsoattractiveapicturethatourherobestoweduponitmorethanapassingglancebeforeheturnedhisattentiontothehubbubwhichwasbeingraisedamongthehorsesandthecoachmen。
“Backout，yourookofNizhniNovgorod！”thestrangers"coachmanshouted。Selifantightenedhisreins，andtheotherdriverdidthesame。Thehorsessteppedbackalittle，andthencametogetheragain——thistimegettingalegortwooverthetraces。Infact，sopleaseddidtheskewbaldseemwithhisnewfriendsthatherefusedtostirfromthemeleeintowhichanunforeseenchancehadplungedhim。
Layinghismuzzlelovinglyupontheneckofoneofhisrecently-acquiredacquaintances，heseemedtobewhisperingsomethinginthatacquaintance"sear——andwhisperingprettynonsense，too，tojudgefromthewayinwhichthatconfidantkeptshakinghisears。
Atlengthpeasantsfromavillagewhichhappenedtobenearthesceneoftheaccidenttackledthemess；andsinceaspectacleofthatkindistotheRussianmuzhikwhatanewspaperoraclub-meetingistotheGerman，thevehiclessoonbecamethecentreofacrowd，andthevillagedenudedevenofitsoldwomenandchildren。Thetracesweredisentangled，andafewslapsonthenoseforcedtheskewbaldtodrawbackalittle；afterwhichtheteamswerestraightenedoutandseparated。Nevertheless，eithersheerobstinacyorvexationatbeingpartedfromtheirnewfriendscausedthestrangeteamabsolutelytorefusetomovealeg。Theirdriverlaidthewhipaboutthem，butstilltheystoodasthoughrootedtothespot。Atlengththeparticipatoryeffortsofthepeasantsrosetoanunprecedenteddegreeofenthusiasm，andtheyshoutedinanintermittentchorustheadvice，“Doyou，Andrusha，taketheheadofthetracehorseontheright，whileUncleMitaimountstheshafthorse。Getup，UncleMitai。“Uponthatthelean，long，andred-beardedUncleMitaimountedtheshafthorse；inwhichpositionhelookedlikeavillagesteepleorthewinderwhichisusedtoraisewaterfromwells。Thecoachmanwhippeduphissteedsafresh，butnothingcameofit，andUncleMitaihadproveduseless。
“Holdon，holdon！”shoutedthepeasantsagain。“Doyou，UncleMitai，mountthetracehorse，whileUncleMinaimountstheshafthorse。“
WhereuponUncleMinai——apeasantwithapairofbroadshoulders，abeardasblackascharcoal，andabellylikethehugesamovarinwhichsbitenisbrewedforallattendingalocalmarket——hastenedtoseathimselfupontheshafthorse，whichalmostsanktothegroundbeneathhisweight。“NOWtheywillgoallright！”themuzhiksexclaimed。
“Layitonhot，layitonhot！Givethatsorrelhorsethewhip，andmakehimsquirmlikeakoramora[1]。“Nevertheless，theaffairinnowayprogressed；wherefore，seeingthatfloggingwasofnouse，UnclesMitaiandMinaiBOTHmountedthesorrel，whileAndrushaseatedhimselfuponthetracehorse。Thenthecoachmanhimselflostpatience，andsentthetwoUnclesabouttheirbusiness——andnotbeforeitwastime，seeingthatthehorsesweresteaminginawaythatmadeitclearthat，unlesstheywerefirstwinded，theywouldneverreachthenextposthouse。Sotheyweregivenamoment"srest。Thatdone，theymovedoffoftheirownaccord！
[1]Akindoflargegnat。
Throughout，Chichikovhadbeengazingattheyoungunknownwithgreatattention，andhadevenmadeoneortwoattemptstoenterintoconversationwithher：butwithoutsuccess。Indeed，whentheladiesdeparted，itwasasinadreamthathesawthegirl"scomelypresence，thedelicatefeaturesofherface，andtheslenderoutlineofherformvanishfromhissight；itwasasinadreamthatoncemorehesawonlytheroad，thebritchka，thethreehorses，Selifan，andthebare，emptyfields。Everywhereinlife——yes，evenintheplainest，thedingiestranksofsociety，asmuchasinthosewhichareuniformlybrightandpresentable——amanmayhappenuponsomephenomenonwhichissoentirelydifferentfromthosewhichhavehithertofallentohislot。
Everywherethroughthewebofsorrowofwhichourlivesarewoventheremaysuddenlybreakaclear，radiantthreadofjoy；evenassuddenlyalongthestreetofsomepoor，poverty-strickenvillagewhich，ordinarily，seesnoughtbutafarmwaggontheremaycamebowlingagorgeouscoachwithplatedharness，picturesquehorses，andaglitterofglass，sothatthepeasantsstandgaping，anddonotresumetheircapsuntillongafterthestrangeequipagehasbecomelosttosight。Thusthegolden-hairedmaidenmakesasudden，unexpectedappearanceinourstory，andassuddenly，asunexpectedly，disappears。Indeed，haditnotbeenthatthepersonconcernedwasChichikov，andnotsomeyouthoftwentysummers——ahussarorastudentor，ingeneral，amanstandingonthethresholdoflife——whatthoughtswouldnothavesprungtobirth，andstirredandspoken，withinhim；
forwhatalengthoftimewouldhenothavestoodentrancedashestaredintothedistanceandforgotalikehisjourney，thebusinessstilltobedone，thepossibilityofincurringlossthroughlingering——himself，hisvocation，theworld，andeverythingelsethattheworldcontains！
Butinthepresentcasetheherowasamanofmiddle-age，andofcautiousandfrigidtemperament。True，heponderedovertheincident，butinmoredeliberatefashionthanayoungermanwouldhavedone。
Thatistosay，hisreflectionswerenotsoirresponsibleandunsteady。“Shewasacomelydamsel，“hesaidtohimselfasheopenedhissnuff-boxandtookapinch。“Buttheimportantpointis：IsshealsoaNICEDAMSEL？Onethingshehasinherfavour——andthatisthatsheappearsonlyjusttohaveleftschool，andnottohavehadtimetobecomewomanlyintheworsersense。Atpresent，therefore，sheislikeachild。Everythinginherissimple，andshesaysjustwhatshethinks，andlaughsmerelywhenshefeelsinclined。Suchadamselmightbemadeintoanything——orshemightbeturnedintoworthlessrubbish。Thelatter，Isurmise，fortrudgingafterhershewillhaveafondmotherandabevyofaunts，andsoforth——personswho，withinayear，willhavefilledherwithwomanishnesstothepointwhereherownfatherwouldn"tknowher。Andtothattherewillbeaddedprideandaffectation，andshewillbegintoobserveestablishedrules，andtorackherbrainsastohow，andhowmuch，sheoughttotalk，andtowhom，andwhere，andsoforth。Everymomentwillseehergrowingtimorousandconfusedlestshebesayingtoomuch。Finally，shewilldevelopintoaconfirmedprevaricator，andendbymarryingthedevilknowswhom！”Chichikovpausedawhile。Thenhewenton：“YetIshouldliketoknowwhosheis，andwhoherfatheris，andwhetherheisarichlandownerofgoodstanding，ormerelyarespectablemanwhohasacquiredafortuneintheserviceoftheGovernment。Shouldheallowher，onmarriage，adowryof，say，twohundredthousandroubles，shewillbeaverynicecatchindeed。Shemighteven，sotospeak，makeamanofgoodbreedinghappy。“
Indeed，soattractivelydidtheideaofthetwohundredthousandroublesbegintodancebeforehisimaginationthathefeltatwingeofself-reproachbecause，duringthehubbub，hehadnotinquiredofthepostillionorthecoachmanwhothetravellersmightbe。ButsoonthesightofSobakevitch"scountryhousedissipatedhisthoughts，andforcedhimtoreturntohisstocksubjectofreflection。
Sobakevitch"scountryhouseandestatewereofveryfairsize，andoneachsideofthemansionwereexpansesofbirchandpineforestintwoshadesofgreen。Thewoodenedificeitselfhaddark-greywallsandared-gabledroof，foritwasamansionofthekindwhichRussiabuildsforhermilitarysettlersandforGermancolonists。Anoticeablecircumstancewasthefactthatthetasteofthearchitecthaddifferedfromthatoftheproprietor——theformerhavingmanifestlybeenapedantanddesirousofsymmetry，andthelatterhavingwishedonlyforcomfort。Consequentlyhe(theproprietor)haddispensedwithallwindowsononesideofthemansion，andhadcausedtobeinserted，intheirplace，onlyasmallaperturewhich，doubtless，wasintendedtolightanotherwisedarklumber-room。Likewise，thearchitect"sbesteffortshadfailedtocausethepedimenttostandinthecentreofthebuilding，sincetheproprietorhadhadoneofitsfouroriginalcolumnsremoved。Evidentlydurabilityhadbeenconsideredthroughout，forthecourtyardwasenclosedbyastrongandveryhighwoodenfence，andboththestables，thecoach-house，andtheculinarypremiseswerepartiallyconstructedofbeamswarrantedtolastforcenturies。Nay，eventhewoodenhutsofthepeasantrywerewonderfulinthesolidityoftheirconstruction，andnotaclaywalloracarvedpatternorotherdevicewastobeseen。Everythingfittedexactlyintoitsrightplace，andeventhedraw-wellofthemansionwasfashionedoftheoakwoodusuallythoughtsuitableonlyformillsorships。Inshort，whereverChichikov"seyeturnedhesawnothingthatwasnotfreefromshoddymakeandwellandskilfullyarranged。Asheapproachedtheentrancestepshecaughtsightoftwofacespeeringfromawindow。Oneofthemwasthatofawomaninamobcapwithfeaturesaslongandasnarrowasacucumber，andtheotherthatofamanwithfeaturesasbroadandasshortastheMoldavianpumpkins(knownasgorlianki)
whereofbalallaiki——thespeciesoflight，two-stringedinstrumentwhichconstitutestheprideandthejoyofthegayyoungfellowoftwentyashesitswinkingandsmilingatthewhite-necked，white-bosomedmaidenswhohavegatheredtolistentohislow-pitchedtinkling——arefashioned。Thisscrutinymade，bothfaceswithdrew，andtherecameoutontotheentrancestepsalacqueycladinagreyjacketandastiffbluecollar。ThisfunctionaryconductedChichikovintothehall，wherehewasmetbythemasterofthehousehimself，whorequestedhisguesttoenter，andthenledhimintotheinnerpartofthemansion。
AcovertglanceatSobakevitchshowedourherothathishostexactlyresembledamoderate-sizedbear。Tocompletetheresemblance，Sobakevitch"slongfrockcoatandbaggytrouserswereoftheprecisecolourofabear"shide，while，whenshufflingacrossthefloor，hemadeacriss-crossmotionofthelegs，andhad，inaddition，aconstanthabitoftreadinguponhiscompanion"stoes。Asforhisface，itwasofthewarm，ardenttintofapiatok[2]。Personsofthiskind——personstowhosedesigningnaturehasdevotednotmuchthought，andinthefashioningofwhoseframesshehasusednoinstrumentssodelicateasafileoragimletandsoforth——arenotuncommon。Suchpersonsshemerelyroughhews。Onecutwithahatchet，andthereresultsanose；anothersuchcutwithahatchet，andtherematerialisesapairoflips；twothrustswithadrill，andthereissuesapairofeyes。Lastly，scorningtoplanedowntheroughness，shesendsoutthatpersonintotheworld，saying：“Thereisanotherlivecreature。“Sobakevitchwasjustsucharagged，curiouslyputtogetherfigure——thoughtheabovemodelwouldseemtohavebeenfollowedmoreinhisupperportionthaninhislower。Oneresultwasthatheseldomturnedhisheadtolookatthepersonwithwhomhewasspeaking，but，rather，directedhiseyestowards，say，thestovecornerorthedoorway。Ashostandguestcrossedthedining-roomChichikovdirectedasecondglanceathiscompanion。“Heisabear，andnothingbutabear，“hethoughttohimself。And，indeed，thestrangecomparisonwasinevitable。Incidentally，Sobakevitch"sChristiannameandpatronymicwereMichaelSemenovitch。Ofhishabitoftreadinguponotherpeople"stoesChichikovhadbecomefullyaware；
whereforehesteppedcautiously，and，throughout，allowedhishosttotakethelead。Asamatteroffact，Sobakevitchhimselfseemedconsciousofhisfailing，foratintervalshewouldinquire：“IhopeI
havenothurtyou？”andChichikov，withawordofthanks，wouldreplythatasyethehadsustainednoinjury。
[2]Acoppercoinworthfivekopecks。
Atlengththeyreachedthedrawing-room，whereSobakevitchpointedtoanarmchair，andinvitedhisguesttobeseated。Chichikovgazedwithinterestatthewallsandthepictures。IneverysuchpicturetherewereportrayedeitheryoungmenorGreekgeneralsofthetypeofMovrogordato(cladinareduniformandbreaches)，Kanaris，andothers；andalltheseheroesweredepictedwithasolidityofthighandawealthofmoustachewhichmadethebeholdersimplyshudderwithawe。Amongthemtherewereplacedalso，accordingtosomeunknownsystem，andforsomeunknownreason，firstly，Bagration[3]——tallandthin，andwithaclusterofsmallflagsandcannonbeneathhim，andthewholesetinthenarrowestofframes——and，secondly，theGreekheroine，Bobelina，whoselegslookedlargerthandothewholebodiesofthedrawing-roomdandiesofthepresentday。Apparentlythemasterofthehousewashimselfamanofhealthandstrength，andthereforelikedtohavehisapartmentsadornedwithnonebutfolkofequalvigourandrobustness。Lastly，inthewindow，andsuspectedcheekbyjowlwithBobelina，therehungacagewhenceatintervalstherepeeredforthawhite-spottedblackbird。Likeeverythingelseintheapartment，itboreastrongresemblancetoSobakevitch。Whenhostandguesthadbeenconversingfortwominutesorsothedooropened，andthereenteredthehostess——atallladyinacapadornedwithribandsofdomesticcolouringandmanufacture。Sheentereddeliberately，andheldherheadaserectasapalm。
[3]ARussiangeneralwhofoughtagainstNapoleon，andwasmortallywoundedatBorodino。
“Thisismywife，TheoduliaIvanovna，“saidSobakevitch。
Chichikovapproachedandtookherhand。Thefactthatsheraiseditnearlytothelevelofhislipsapprisedhimofthecircumstancethatithadjustbeenrinsedincucumberoil。
“Mydear，allowmetointroducePaulIvanovitchChichikov，“addedSobakevitch。“HehasthehonourofbeingacquaintedbothwithourGovernorandwithourPostmaster。“
UponthisTheoduliaIvanovnarequestedherguesttobeseated，andaccompaniedtheinvitationwiththekindofbowusuallyemployedonlybyactresseswhoareplayingtheroleofqueens。Next，shetookaseatuponthesofa，drewaroundherhermerinogown，andsatthereafterwithoutmovinganeyelidoraneyebrow。AsforChichikov，heglancedupwards，andoncemorecaughtsightofKanariswithhisfatthighsandinterminablemoustache，andofBobelinaandtheblackbird。Forfullyfiveminutesallpresentpreservedacompletesilence——theonlysoundaudiblebeingthatoftheblackbird"sbeakagainstthewoodenfloorofthecageasthecreaturefishedforgrainsofcorn。MeanwhileChichikovagainsurveyedtheroom，andsawthateverythinginitwasmassiveandclumsyinthehighestdegree；asalsothateverythingwascuriouslyinkeepingwiththemasterofthehouse。Forexample，inonecorneroftheapartmenttherestoodahazelwoodbureauwithabulgingbodyonfourgrotesquelegs——theperfectimageofabear。Also，thetablesandthechairswereofthesameponderous，unrestfulorder，andeverysinglearticleintheroomappearedtobesayingeither，“I，too，amaSobakevitch，“or“IamexactlylikeSobakevitch。“
“IheardspeakofyouonedaywhenIwasvisitingthePresidentoftheCouncil，“saidChichikov，onperceivingthatnooneelsehadamindtobeginaconversation。“ThatwasonThursdaylast。Wehadaverypleasantevening。“
“Yes，onthatoccasionIwasnotthere，“repliedSobakevitch。
“Whatanicemanheis！”
“Whois？”inquiredSobakevitch，gazingintothecornerbythestove。
“ThePresidentoftheLocalCouncil。“
“Didheseemsotoyou？True，heisamason，butheisalsothegreatestfoolthattheworldeversaw。“
Chichikovstartedalittleatthismordantcriticism，butsoonpulledhimselftogetheragain，andcontinued：
“Ofcourse，everymanhashisweakness。YetthePresidentseemstobeanexcellentfellow。“
“AnddoyouthinkthesameoftheGovernor？”
“Yes。Whynot？”
“Becausethereexistsnogreaterroguethanhe。“
“What？TheGovernorarogue？”ejaculatedChichikov，atalosstounderstandhowtheofficialinquestioncouldcometobenumberedwiththieves。“LetmesaythatIshouldneverhaveguessedit。Permitmealsotoremarkthathisconductwouldhardlyseemtobearoutyouropinion——heseemssogentleaman。“AndinproofofthisChichikovcitedthepurseswhichtheGovernorknitted，andalsoexpatiatedonthemildnessofhisfeatures。
“Hehasthefaceofarobber，“saidSobakevitch。“Wereyoutogivehimaknife，andtoturnhimlooseonaturnpike，hewouldcutyourthroatfortwokopecks。AndthesamewiththeVice-Governor。ThepairarejustGogandMagog。“
“Evidentlyheisnotongoodtermswiththem，“thoughtChichikovtohimself。“IhadbetterpasstotheChiefofPolice，whichwhomheDOESseemtobefriendly。“Accordinglyheaddedaloud：“Formyownpart，IshouldgivethepreferencetotheHeadoftheGendarmery。Whatafrank，outspokennaturehehas！Andwhatanelementofsimplicitydoeshisexpressioncontain！”
“Heismeantothecore，“remarkedSobakevitchcoldly。“Hewillsellyouandcheatyou，andthendineatyourtable。Yes，Iknowthemall，andeveryoneofthemisaswindler，andthetownanestofrascalsengagedinrobbingoneanother。NotamanofthelotistherebutwouldsellChrist。Yetstay：ONEdecentfellowthereis——thePublicProsecutor；thoughevenHE，ifthetruthbetold，islittlebetterthanapig。“
AftertheseeulogiaChichikovsawthatitwouldbeuselesstocontinuerunningthroughthelistofofficials——moreespeciallysincesuddenlyhehadrememberedthatSobakevitchwasnotatanytimegiventocommendinghisfellowman。
“Letusgotoluncheon，mydear，“putinTheoduliaIvanovnatoherspouse。
“Yes；praycometotable，“saidSobakevitchtohisguest；whereupontheyconsumedthecustomaryglassofvodka(accompaniedbysundrysnacksofsaltedcucumberandotherdainties)withwhichRussians，bothintownandcountry，prefaceameal。Thentheyfiledintothedining-roominthewakeofthehostess，whosailedonaheadlikeagooseswimmingacrossapond。Thesmalldining-tablewasfoundtobelaidforfourpersons——thefourthplacebeingoccupiedbyaladyorayounggirl(itwouldhavebeendifficulttosaywhichexactly)whomighthavebeeneitherarelative，thehousekeeper，oracasualvisitor。Certainpersonsintheworldexist，notaspersonalitiesinthemselves，butasspotsorspecksonthepersonalitiesofothers。
Alwaystheyaretobeseensittinginthesameplace，andholdingtheirheadsatexactlythesameangle，sothatonecomeswithinanaceofmistakingthemforfurniture，andthinkstooneselfthatneversincethedayoftheirbirthcantheyhavespokenasingleword。
“Mydear，“saidSobakevitch，“thecabbagesoupisexcellent。“Withthathefinishedhisportion，andhelpedhimselftoagenerousmeasureofniania[4]——thedishwhichfollowsshtchiandconsistsofasheep"sstomachstuffedwithblackporridge，brains，andotherthings。“Whatnianiathisis！”headdedtoChichikov。“Neverwouldyougetsuchstuffinatown，whereoneisgiventhedevilknowswhat。“
[4]Literally，“nursemaid。“
“NeverthelesstheGovernorkeepsafairtable，“saidChichikov。
“Yes，butdoyouknowwhatallthestuffisMADEOF？”retortedSobakevitch。“IfyouDIDknowyouwouldnevertouchit。“
“OfcourseIamnotinapositiontosayhowitisprepared，butatleasttheporkcutletsandtheboiledfishseemedexcellent。“
“Ah，itmighthavebeenthoughtso；yetIknowthewayinwhichsuchthingsareboughtinthemarket-place。TheyareboughtbysomerascalofacookwhomaFrenchmanhastaughthowtoskinatomcatandthenserveitupashare。“
“Ugh！Whathorriblethingsyousay！”putinMadame。
“Well，mydear，thatishowthingsaredone，anditisnofaultofminethatitisso。Moreover，everythingthatisleftover——everythingthatWE(pardonmeformentioningit)castintotheslop-pail——isusedbysuchfolkformakingsoup。“
“Alwaysattableyoubegintalkinglikethis！”objectedhishelpmeet。
“Andwhynot？”saidSobakevitch。“ItellyoustraightthatIwouldnoteatsuchnastiness，evenhadImadeitmyself。Sugarafrogasmuchasyoulike，butnevershallitpassMYlips。NorwouldIswallowanoyster，forIknowonlytoowellwhatanoystermayresemble。Buthavesomemutton，friendChichikov。Itisshoulderofmutton，andverydifferentstufffromthemuttonwhichtheycookinnoblekitchens——muttonwhichhasbeenkickingaboutthemarket-placefourdaysormore。AllthatsortofcookeryhasbeeninventedbyFrenchandGermandoctors，andIshouldliketohangthemforhavingdoneso。
TheygoandprescribedietsandahungercureasthoughwhatsuitstheirflaccidGermansystemswillagreewithaRussianstomach！Suchdevicesarenogoodatall。“Sobakevitchshookhisheadwrathfully。
“Fellowslikethoseareforevertalkingofcivilisation。AsifTHAT
sortofthingwascivilisation！Phew！”(Perhapsthespeaker"sconcludingexclamationwouldhavebeenevenstrongerhadhenotbeenseatedattable。)“Formyself，Iwillhavenoneofit。WhenIeatporkatameal，givemetheWHOLEpig；whenmutton，theWHOLEsheep；
whengoose，theWHOLEofthebird。Twodishesarebetterthanathousand，providedthatonecaneatofthemasmuchasonewants。“
Andheproceededtoputpreceptintopracticebytakinghalftheshoulderofmuttonontohisplate，andthendevouringitdowntothelastmorselofgristleandbone。
“Myword！”reflectedChichikov。“Thefellowhasaprettygoodholdingcapacity！”
“Noneofitforme，“repeatedSobakevitchashewipedhishandsonhisnapkin。“Idon"tintendtobelikeafellownamedPlushkin，whoownseighthundredsouls，yetdinesworsethandoesmyshepherd。“
“WhoisPlushkin？”askedChichikov。
“Amiser，“repliedSobakevitch。“Suchamiserasneveryoucouldimagine。Evenconvictsinprisonlivebetterthanhedoes。Andhestarveshisservantsaswell。“
“Really？”ejaculatedChichikov，greatlyinterested。“Shouldyou，then，saythathehaslostmanypeasantsbydeath？”
“Certainly。Theykeepdyinglikeflies。“
“Thenhowfarfromheredoeshereside？”
“Aboutfiveversts。“
“Onlyfiveversts？”exclaimedChichikov，feelinghisheartbeatingjoyously。“Oughtone，whenleavingyourgates，toturntotherightortotheleft？”
“Ishouldbesorrytotellyouthewaytothehouseofsuchacur，“
saidSobakevitch。“AmanhadfarbettergotohellthantoPlushkin"s。“
“Quiteso，“respondedChichikov。“Myonlyreasonforaskingyouisthatitinterestsmetobecomeacquaintedwithanyandeverysortoflocality。“
Totheshoulderofmuttontheresucceeded，inturn，cutlets(eachonelargerthanaplate)，aturkeyofaboutthesizeofacalf，eggs，rice，pastry，andeveryconceivablethingwhichcouldpossiblybeputintoastomach。Therethemealended。WhenherosefromtableChichikovfeltasthoughapood"sweightwereinsidehim。Inthedrawing-roomthecompanyfounddessertawaitingthemintheshapeofpears，plums，andapples；butsinceneitherhostnorguestcouldtackletheseparticulardaintiesthehostessremovedthemtoanotherroom。Takingadvantageofherabsence，ChichikovturnedtoSobakevitch(who，proneinanarmchair，seemed，afterhisponderousmeal，tobecapableofdoinglittlebeyondbelchingandgrunting——eachsuchgruntorbelchnecessitatingasubsequentsigningofthecrossoverthemouth)，andintimatedtohimadesiretohavealittleprivateconversationconcerningacertainmatter。Atthismomentthehostessreturned。
“Hereismoredessert，“shesaid。“Prayhaveafewradishesstewedinhoney。“
“Later，later，“repliedSobakevitch。“Doyougotoyourroom，andPaulIvanovitchandIwilltakeoffourcoatsandhaveanap。“
Uponthisthegoodladyexpressedherreadinesstosendforfeatherbedsandcushions，butherhusbandexpressedapreferenceforslumberinginanarmchair，andshethereforedeparted。WhenshehadgoneSobakevitchinclinedhisheadinanattitudeofwillingnesstolistentoChichikov"sbusiness。Ourherobeganinasortofdetachedmanner——touchinglightlyuponthesubjectoftheRussianEmpire，andexpatiatingupontheimmensityofthesame，andsayingthateventheEmpireofAncientRomehadbeenofconsiderablysmallerdimensions。
MeanwhileSobakevitchsatwithhisheaddrooping。
FromthatChichikovwentontoremarkthat，accordingtothestatutesofthesaidRussianEmpire(whichyieldedtononeinglory——somuchsothatforeignersmarvelledatit)，peasantsonthecensuslistswhohadendedtheirearthlycareerswerenevertheless，ontherenderingofnewlists，returnedequallywiththeliving，totheendthatthecourtsmightberelievedofamultitudeoftrifling，uselessemendationswhichmightcomplicatethealreadysufficientlycomplexmechanismoftheState。Nevertheless，saidChichikov，thegeneralequityofthismeasuredidnotobviateacertainamountofannoyancetolandowners，sinceitforcedthemtopayuponanon-livingarticlethetaxdueuponaliving。Hence(ourheroconcluded)he(Chichikov)wasprepared，owingtothepersonalrespectwhichhefeltforSobakevitch，torelievehim，inpart，oftheirksomeobligationreferredto(inpassing，itmaybesaidthatChichikovreferredtohisprincipalpointonlyguardedly，forhecalledthesoulswhichhewasseekingnot“dead，“but“non-existent“)。
MeanwhileSobakevitchlistenedwithbenthead；thoughsomethinglikeatraceofexpressiondawnedinhisfaceashedidso。Ordinarilyhisbodylackedasoul——or，ifhedidpossesasoul，heseemedtokeepitelsewherethanwhereitoughttohavebeen；sothat，buriedbeneathmountains(asitwere)orenclosedwithinamassiveshell，itsmovementsproducednosortofagitationonthesurface。
“Well？”saidChichikov——thoughnotwithoutacertaintremorofdiffidenceastothepossibleresponse。
“Youareafterdeadsouls？”wereSobakevitch"sperfectlysimplewords。
Hespokewithouttheleastsurpriseinhistone，andmuchasthoughtheconversationhadbeenturningongrain。
“Yes，“repliedChichikov，andthen，asbefore，softeneddowntheexpression“deadsouls。“
“Theyaretobefound，“saidSobakevitch。“Whyshouldtheynotbe？”
“Thenofcourseyouwillbegladtogetridofanythatyoumaychancetohave？”
“Yes，IshallhavenoobjectiontoSELLINGthem。“Atthispointthespeakerraisedhisheadalittle，forithadstruckhimthatsurelythewould-bebuyermusthavesomeadvantageinview。
“Thedevil！”thoughtChichikovtohimself。“HereishesellingthegoodsbeforeIhaveevenhadtimetoutteraword！”
“Andwhatabouttheprice？”headdedaloud。“Ofcourse，thearticlesarenotofakindveryeasytoappraise。“
“Ishouldbesorrytoasktoomuch，“saidSobakevitch。“Howwouldahundredroublesperheadsuityou？”
“What，ahundredroublesperhead？”Chichikovstaredopen-mouthedathishost——doubtingwhetherhehadheardaright，orwhetherhishost"sslow-movingtonguemightnothaveinadvertentlysubstitutedonewordforanother。
“Yes。Isthattoomuchforyou？”saidSobakevitch。Thenheadded：
“Whatisyourownprice？”
“Myownprice？Ithinkthatwecannotproperlyhaveunderstoodoneanother——thatyoumusthaveforgottenofwhatthegoodsconsist。WithmyhandonmyheartdoIsubmitthateightgrivnipersoulwouldbeahandsome，aVERYhandsome，offer。“
“What？Eightgrivni？”
“Inmyopinion，ahigherofferwouldbeimpossible。“
“ButIamnotasellerofboots。“
“No；yetyou，foryourpart，willagreethatthesesoulsarenotlivehumanbeings？”
“Isupposeyouhopetofindfoolsreadytosellyousoulsonthecensuslistforacoupleofgroatsapiece？”
“Pardonme，butwhydoyouusetheterm"onthecensuslist"？Thesoulsthemselveshavelongsincepassedaway，andhaveleftbehindthemonlytheirnames。Nottotroubleyouwithanyfurtherdiscussionofthesubject，Icanofferyouaroubleandahalfperhead，butnomore。“
“Youshouldbeashamedeventomentionsuchasum！Sinceyoudealinarticlesofthiskind，quotemeagenuineprice。“
“Icannot，MichaelSemenovitch。Believeme，Icannot。Whatamancannotdo，thathecannotdo。“Thespeakerendedbyadvancinganotherhalf-roubleperhead。
“Butwhyhangbackwithyourmoney？”saidSobakevitch。“OfatruthI
amnotaskingmuchofyou。Anyotherrascalthanmyselfwouldhavecheatedyoubysellingyouoldrubbishinsteadofgood，genuinesouls，whereasIshouldbereadytogiveyouofmybest，evenwereyoubuyingonlynut-kernels。Forinstance，lookatwheelwrightMichiev。Neverwastheresuchaonetobuildspringcarts！AndhishandiworkwasnotlikeyourMoscowhandiwork——goodonlyforanhour。No，hediditallhimself，evendowntothevarnishing。“
Chichikovopenedhismouthtoremarkthat，nevertheless，thesaidMichievhadlongsincedepartedthisworld；butSobakevitch"seloquencehadgottoothoroughlyintoitsstridetoadmitofanyinterruption。
“Andlook，too，atProbkaStepan，thecarpenter，“hishostwenton。“I
willwagermyheadthatnowhereelsewouldyoufindsuchaworkman。
Whatastrongfellowhewas！HehadservedintheGuards，andtheLordonlyknowswhattheyhadgivenforhim，seeingthathewasoverthreearshinsinheight。“
AgainChichikovtriedtoremarkthatProbkawasdead，butSobakevitch"stonguewasborneonthetorrentofitsownverbiage，andtheonlythingtobedonewastolisten。
“AndMilushkin，thebricklayer！Hecouldbuildastoveinanyhouseyouliked！AndMaksimTeliatnikov，thebootmaker！Anythingthathedrovehisawlintobecameapairofboots——andbootsforwhichyouwouldbethankful，althoughheWASabitfoulofthemouth。AndEremiSorokoplechin，too！Hewasthebestofthelot，andusedtoworkathistradeinMoscow，wherehepaidataxoffivehundredroubles。
Well，THERE"Sanassortmentofserfsforyou！——averydifferentassortmentfromwhatPlushkinwouldsellyou！”
“Butpermitme，“atlengthputinChichikov，astoundedatthisfloodofeloquencetowhichthereappearedtobenoend。“Permitme，Isay，toinquirewhyyouenumeratethetalentsofthedeceased，seeingthattheyareallofthemdead，andthatthereforetherecanbenosenseindoingso。"Adeadbodyisonlygoodtopropafencewith，"saystheproverb。“
“Ofcoursetheyaredead，“repliedSobakevitch，butratherasthoughtheideahadonlyjustoccurredtohim，andwasgivinghimfoodforthought。“Buttellme，now：whatistheuseoflistingthemasstillalive？Andwhatistheuseofthemthemselves？Theyareflies，nothumanbeings。“
“Well，“saidChichikov，“theyexist，thoughonlyinidea。“
“Butno——NOTonlyinidea。ItellyouthatnowhereelsewouldyoufindsuchafellowforworkingheavytoolsaswasMichiev。Hehadthestrengthofahorseinhisshoulders。“And，withthewords，Sobakevitchturned，asthoughforcorroboration，totheportraitofBagration，asisfrequentlydonebyoneofthepartiesinadisputewhenhepurportstoappealtoanextraneousindividualwhoisnotonlyunknowntohim，butwhollyunconnectedwiththesubjectinhand；withtheresultthattheindividualisleftindoubtwhethertomakeareply，orwhethertobetakehimselfelsewhere。
“Nevertheless，ICANNOTgiveyoumorethantworoublesperhead，“
saidChichikov。
“Well，asIdon"twantyoutoswearthatIhaveaskedtoomuchofyouandwon"tmeetyouhalfway，suppose，forfriendship"ssake，thatyoupaymeseventy-fiveroublesinassignats？”
“Goodheavens！”thoughtChichikovtohimself。“Doesthemantakemeforafool？”Thenheaddedaloud：“Thesituationseemstomeastrangeone，foritisasthoughwewereperformingastagecomedy。Nootherexplanationwouldmeetthecase。Yetyouappeartobeamanofsense，andpossessedofsomeeducation。Thematterisaverysimpleone。Thequestionis：whatisadeadsoulworth，andisitofanyusetoanyone？”
“ItisofusetoYOU，oryouwouldnotbebuyingsucharticles。“
Chichikovbithislip，andstoodatalossforaretort。Hetriedtosayingsomethingabout“familyanddomesticcircumstances，“butSobakevitchcuthimshortwith：
“Idon"twanttoknowyourprivateaffairs，forIneverpokemynoseintosuchthings。Youneedthesouls，andIamreadytosellthem。
Shouldyounotbuythem，Ithinkyouwillrepentit。“
“Tworoublesismyprice，“repeatedChichikov。
“Come，come！Asyouhavenamedthatsum，Icanunderstandyournotlikingtogobackuponit；butquotemeabonafidefigure。“
“Thedevilflyawaywithhim！”musedChichikov。“However，Iwilladdanotherhalf-rouble。“Andhedidso。
“Indeed？”saidSobakevitch。“Well，mylastworduponitis——fiftyroublesinassignats。Thatwillmeanasheerlosstome，fornowhereelseintheworldcouldyoubuybettersoulsthanmine。“
“Theoldskinflint！”mutteredChichikov。Thenheaddedaloud，withirritationinhistone：“Seehere。Thisisaseriousmatter。Anyonebutyouwouldbethankfultogetridofthesouls。Onlyafoolwouldsticktothem，andcontinuetopaythetax。“
“Yes，butremember(andIsayitwhollyinafriendlyway)thattransactionsofthiskindarenotgenerallyallowed，andthatanyonewouldsaythatamanwhoengagesinthemmusthavesomeratherdoubtfuladvantageinview。“
“Haveityourownaway，“saidChichikov，withassumedindifference。
“Asamatteroffact，Iamnotpurchasingforprofit，asyousuppose，buttohumouracertainwhimofmine。TwoandahalfroublesisthemostthatIcanoffer。“
“Blessyourheart！”retortedthehost。“Atleastgivemethirtyroublesinassignats，andtakethelot。“
“No，forIseethatyouareunwillingtosell。Imustsaygood-daytoyou。“
“Holdon，holdon！”exclaimedSobakevitch，retaininghisguest"shand，andatthesamemomenttreadingheavilyuponhistoes——soheavily，indeed，thatChichikovgaspedanddancedwiththepain。
“IBEGyourpardon！”saidSobakevitchhastily。“EvidentlyIhavehurtyou。Praysitdownagain。“
“No，“retortedChichikov。“Iammerelywastingmytime，andmustbeoff。“
“Oh，sitdownjustforamoment。Ihavesomethingmoreagreeabletosay。“And，drawingclosertohisguest，Sobakevitchwhisperedinhisear，asthoughcommunicatingtohimasecret：“Howabouttwenty-fiveroubles？”
“No，no，no！”exclaimedChichikov。“Iwon"tgiveyouevenaQUARTER
ofthat。Iwon"tadvanceanotherkopeck。“
ForawhileSobakevitchremainedsilent，andChichikovdidthesame。
Thislastedforacoupleofminutes，and，meanwhile，theaquiline-nosedBagrationgazedfromthewallasthoughmuchinterestedinthebargaining。
“Whatisyouroutsideprice？”atlengthsaidSobakevitch。
“Twoandahalfroubles。“
“Thenyouseemtorateahumansoulataboutthesamevalueasaboiledturnip。AtleastgivemeTHREEroubles。“
“No，Icannot。“
“Pardonme，butyouareanimpossiblemantodealwith。However，eventhoughitwillmeanadeadlosstome，andyouhavenotshownaverynicespiritaboutit，Icannotwellrefusetopleaseafriend。I
supposeapurchasedeedhadbetterbemadeoutinordertohaveeverythinginorder？”
“Ofcourse。“
“Thenforthatpurposeletusrepairtothetown。“
Theaffairendedintheirdecidingtodothisonthemorrow，andtoarrangeforthesigningofadeedofpurchase。Next，Chichikovrequestedalistofthepeasants；towhichSobakevitchreadilyagreed。
Indeed，hewenttohiswriting-deskthenandthere，andstartedtoinditealistwhichgavenotonlythepeasants"names，butalsotheirlatequalifications。
MeanwhileChichikov，havingnothingelsetodo，stoodlookingatthespaciousformofhishost；andashegazedathisbackasbroadasthatofacarthorse，andatthelegsasmassiveastheironstandardswhichadornastreet，hecouldnothelpinwardlyejaculating：
“TrulyGodhasendowedyouwithmuch！Thoughnotadjustedwithnicety，atleastyouarestronglybuilt。Iwonderwhetheryouwerebornabearorwhetheryouhavecometoitthroughyourrusticlife，withitstillingofcropsanditstradingwithpeasants？Yetno；Ibelievethat，evenifyouhadreceivedafashionableeducation，andhadmixedwithsociety，andhadlivedinSt。Petersburg，youwouldstillhavebeenjustthekulak[5]thatyouare。Theonlydifferenceisthatcircumstances，astheystand，permitofyourpolishingoffastuffedshoulderofmuttonatameal；whereasinSt。Petersburgyouwouldhavebeenunabletodoso。Also，ascircumstancesstand，youhaveunderyouanumberofpeasants，whomyoutreatwellforthereasonthattheyareyourproperty；whereas，otherwise，youwouldhavehadunderyoutchinovniks[6]：whomyouwouldhavebulliedbecausetheywereNOT
yourproperty。Also，youwouldhaverobbedtheTreasury，sinceakulakalwaysremainsamoney-grubber。“
[5]Villagefactororusurer。
[6]Subordinategovernmentofficials。
“Thelistisready，“saidSobakevitch，turninground。
“Indeed？Thenpleaseletmelookatit。“Chichikovranhiseyeoverthedocument，andcouldnotbutmarvelatitsneatnessandaccuracy。
Notonlyweretheresetforthinitthetrade，theage，andthepedigreeofeveryserf，butonthemarginofthesheetwerejottedremarksconcerningeachserf"sconductandsobriety。Trulyitwasapleasuretolookatit。
“Anddoyoumindhandingmetheearnestmoney？”saidSobakevitch？
“Yes，Ido。Whyneedthatbedone？Youcanreceivethemoneyinalumpsumassoonaswevisitthetown。“
“Butitisalwaysthecustom，youknow，“assertedSobakevitch。
“ThenIcannotfollowit，forIhavenomoneywithme。However，herearetenroubles。“
“Tenroubles，indeed？Youmightaswellhandmefiftywhileyouareaboutit。“
OncemoreChichikovstartedtodenythathehadanymoneyuponhim，butSobakevitchinsistedsostronglythatthiswasnotsothatatlengththeguestpulledoutanotherfifteenroubles，andaddedthemtothetenalreadyproduced。
“Kindlygivemeareceiptforthemoney，“headded。
“Areceipt？WhyshouldIgiveyouareceipt？”
“Becauseitisbettertodoso，inordertoguardagainstmistakes。“
“Verywell；butfirsthandmeoverthemoney。“
“Themoney？Ihaveithere。Doyouwriteoutthereceipt，andthenthemoneyshallbeyours。“
“Pardonme，buthowamItowriteoutthereceiptbeforeIhaveseenthecash？”