第9章

OneSundayinJuneof1936LukeandArneturneduptogether，verypleasedwiththemselves。Theyhadcome，theysaid，togiveMeggiearealtreat，fortheyweretakinghertoaceilidh。

UnlikethegeneraltendencyofethnicgroupsinAustraliatoscatterandbecomepurelyAustralian，thevariousnationalitiesintheNorthQueenslandpeninsulatendedtopreservetheirtraditionsfiercely:theChinese，theItalians，theGermansandtheScots-Irish，thesefourgroupsmakingupthebulkofthepopulation。AndwhentheScotsthrewaceilidheveryScotformilesattended。

ToMeggie’sastonishment，LukeandArnewerewearingkilts，looking，shethoughtwhenshegotherbreathback，absolutelymagnificent。Nothingismoremasculineonamasculinemanthanakilt，foritswingswithalongcleanstrideinaflurryofpleatsbehindandstaysperfectlystillinfront，thesporranlikealoinguard，andbelowthemid-kneehemstrongfinelegsindiamondcheckeredhose，buckledshoes。Itwasfartoohottoweartheplaidandthejacket；theyhadcontentedthemselveswithwhiteshirtsopenhalfwaydowntheirchests，sleevesrolledupabovetheirelbows。

"What’saceilidhanyway？"sheaskedastheysetoff。"It’sGaelicforagathering，ashindig。"

"Whyonearthareyouwearingkilts？"

"Wewon’tbeletinunlessweare，andwe’rewellknownatalltheceilidhsbetweenBrisandCairns。"

"Areyounow？Iimagineyoumustindeedgotoquiteafew，otherwiseIcan’tseeLukeoutlayingmoneyforakilt。Isn’tthatso，Arne？""Aman’sgottohavesomerelaxation，"saidLuke，alittledefensively。TheceilidhwasbeingheldinabarnlikeshackfallingtorackandruindowninthemidstofthemangroveswampsfesteringaboutthemouthoftheDungloeRiver。Oh，whatacountrythiswasforsmells！Meggiethoughtindespair，hernosetwitchingtoyetanotherindescribablydisgustingaroma。Molasses，mildew，Bunnies，andnowmangroves。Alltherottingeffluviaoftheseashorerolledintoonesmell。

Sureenough，everymanarrivingattheshedworeakilt；astheywentinandshelookedaround，Meggieunderstoodhowdrabapeahenmustfeelwhendazzledbythevividgorgeousnessofhermate。Thewomenwereovershadowedintonearnonexistence，animpressionwhichthelaterstagesoftheeveningonlysharpened。

Twopipersinthecomplex，light-blue-basedAndersontartanwerestandingonaricketydaisatoneendofthehall，pipingacheerfulreelinperfectsynchrony，sandyhaironend，sweatrunningdownruddyfaces。Afewcouplesweredancing，butmostofthenoisyactivityseemedtobecenteredaroundagroupofmenwhowerepassingoutglassesofwhatwassurelyScotchwhiskey。Meggiefoundherselfthrustintoacornerwithseveralotherwomen，andwascontenttostaytherewatching，fascinated。Notonewomanworeaclantartan，forindeednoScotswomanwearsthekilt，onlytheplaid，anditwastoohottodrapeagreatheavypieceofmaterialaroundtheshoulders。SothewomenworetheirdowdyNorthQueenslandcottondresses，whichstutteredintolimpsilencebesidethemen’skilts。TherewastheblazingredandwhiteofClanMenzies，thecheeryblackandyellowofClanMacLeodofLewis，thewindowpaneblueandredchecksofClanSkene，thevividcomplexityofClanOgilvy，thelovelyred，greyandblackofClanMacPherson。LukeinClanMacationeil，ArneintheSassenach’sJacobeantartan。Beautiful！

LukeandArnewereobviouslywellknownandwellliked。Howoftendidtheycomewithouther，then？Andwhathadpossessedthemtobringhertonight？Shesighed，leanedagainstthewall。Theotherwomenwereeyeinghercuriously，especiallytheringsonherweddingfinger；LukeandArneweretheobjectsofmuchfeminineadmiration，herselftheobjectofmuchfeminineenvy。Iwonderwhatthey’dsayifItoldthemthebigdarkone，whoismyhusband，hasseenmepreciselytwiceinthelasteightmonths，andneverseesmewiththeideaofgettingintoabed？Lookatthepairofthem，theconceitedHighlandfops！AndneitherofthemScottishatall，justplayactingbecausetheyknowtheylooksensationalinkiltsandtheyliketobethecenterofattention。Youmagnificentpairoffrauds！You’retoomuchinlovewithyourselvestowantorneedlovefromanyoneelse。

Atmidnightthewomenwererelegatedtostandingaroundthewalls；thepipersskirledinto"CaberFeidh"andtheseriousdancingbegan。Fortherestofherlife，wheneversheheardthesoundofapiperMeggiewasbackinthatshed。Eventheswirlofakiltcoulddoit；therewasthatdreamlikemergingofsoundandsight，oflifeandbrilliantvitality，whichmeansamemorysopiercing，sospellbinding，thatitwillneverbelost。Downwentthecrossedswordsonthefloor；twomeninClanMacDonaldofSleatkiltsraisedtheirarmsabovetheirheads，handsflickedoverlikeballetdancers，andverygravely，asifattheendtheswordswouldbeplungedintotheirbreasts，begantopicktheirdelicatewaythrough，between，amongtheblades。

Ahighshrillscreamrippedabovetheairywaveringofthepipes，thetunebecame"AlltheBlueBonnetsovertheBorder，"thesaberswerescoopedup，andeverymanintheroomswungintothedance，armslinkinganddissolving，kiltsflaring。Reels，strathspeys，flings；theydancedthemall，feetontheboardfloorsendingechoesamongtherafters，bucklesonshoesflashing，andeverytimethepatternchangedsomeonewouldthrowbackhishead，emitthatshrill，ululatingwhoop，setofftrainsofcriesfromotherexuberantthroats。Whilethewomenwatched，forgotten。

Itwasclosetofourinthemorningwhentheceilidhbrokeup；outsidewasnottheastringentcrispnessofBlairAthollorSkyebutthetorporofatropicalnight，agreatheavymoondraggingitselfalongthespangledwastesoftheheavens，andoveritallthestinkingmiasmaofmangroves。YetasArnedrovethemoffinthewheezingoldFord，thelastthingMeggieheardwasthedriftingdwindlinglament"Flowerso"theForest，"biddingtherevelershome。Home。Wherewashome？

"Well，didyouenjoythat？"askedLuke。

"IwouldhaveenjoyeditmorehadIdancedmore，"sheanswered。"What，ataceilidh？Breakitdown，Meg！Onlythemenaresupposedtodance，sowe’reactuallyprettygoodtoyouwomen，lettingyoudanceatall。""Itseemstomeonlymendoalotofthings，andespeciallyifthey’regoodthings，enjoyablethings。"

"Well，excuseme！"saidLukestiffly。"HerewasIthinkingyoumightlikeabitofachange，whichwaswhyIbroughtyou。Ididn’thaveto，youknow！Andifyou’renotgratefulIwon’tbringyouagain。"

"Youprobablydon’thaveanyintentionofdoingso，anyway，"saidMeggie。"Itisn’tgoodtoadmitmeintoyourlife。Ilearnedalotthesepastfewhours，butIdon’tthinkit’swhatyouintendedtoteachme。It’sgettinghardertofoolme，Luke。Infact，I’mfedupwithyou，withthelifeI’mleading，witheverything！"

"Ssssh！"hehissed，scandalized。"We’renotalone！""Thencomealone！"shesnapped。"WhendoIevergetthechancetoseeyoualoneformorethanafewminutes？"

ArnepulledupatthebottomoftheHimmelhochhill，grinningatLukesympathetically。"Goon，mate，"hesaid。"Walkherup；I’llwaithereforyou。Nohurry。"

"Imeanit，Luke！"MeggiesaidassoonastheywereoutofArne’shearing。"Theworm’sturning，doyouhearme？IknowIpromisedtoobeyyou，butyoupromisedtoloveandcherishme，sowe’rebothliars！IwanttogohometoDrogheda！"

Hethoughtofhertwothousandpoundsayearandofitsceasingtobeputinhisname。

"Oh，Meg！"hesaidhelplessly。"Look，sweetheart，itwon’tbeforever，Ipromise！AndthissummerI’mgoingtotakeyoutoSydneywithme，wordofanO’neill！Arne’saunthasaflatcomingvacantinherhouse，andwecanlivethereforthreemonths，haveawonderfultime！Bearwithmeanotheryearorsointhecane，thenwe’llbuyourpropertyandsettledown，eh？"Themoonlituphisface；helookedsincere，upset，anxious，contrite。AndverylikeRalphdeBricassart。

Meggierelented，becauseshestillwantedhisbabies。"Allright，"shesaid。"Anotheryear。ButI’mholdingyoutothatpromiseofSydney，Luke，soremember！"

OnceamonthMeggiewroteadutifullettertoFee，Bobandtheboys，fullofdescriptionsofNorthQueensland，carefullyhumorous，neverhintingofanydifferencesbetweenherandLuke。Thatprideagain。AsfarasDroghedaknew，theMuellerswerefriendsofLuke’swithwhomsheboardedbecauseLuketraveledsomuch。Hergenuineaffectionforthecouplecamethroughineverywordshewroteaboutthem，sonooneonDroghedaworried。Exceptthatitgrievedthemshenevercamehome。Yethowcouldshetellthemthatshedidn’thavethemoneytovisitwithoutalsotellingthemhowmiserablehermarriagetoLukeO’neillhadbecome？

OccasionallyshewouldnerveherselftoinsertacasualquestionaboutBishopRalph，andevenlessoftenBobwouldremembertopassonthelittlehelearnedfromFeeabouttheBishop。Thencamealetterfullofhim。"Hearrivedoutoftheblueoneday，Meggie，"Bob’slettersaid，"lookingabitupsetanddowninthemouth。Imustsayhewasfloorednottofindyouhere。Hewasspittingmadbecausewehadn’ttoldhimaboutyouandLuke，butwhenMumsaidyou’dgotabeeinyourbonnetaboutitanddidn’twantustotellhim，heshutupandneversaidanotherword。ButIthoughthemissedyoumorethanhewouldanyoftherestofus，andIsupposethat’squitenaturalbecauseyouspentmoretimewithhimthantherestofus，andIthinkhealwaysthoughtofyouashislittlesister。Hewanderedaroundasifhecouldn’tbelieveyouwouldn’tpopupallofasudden，poorchap。Wedidn’thaveanypicturestoshowhimeither，andIneverthoughtuntilheaskedtoseethemthatitwasfunnyyouneverhadanyweddingpicturestaken。Heaskedifyouhadanykids，andIsaidIdidn’tthinkso。Youdon’t，doyou，Meggie？Howlongisitnowsinceyouweremarried？Gettingonfortwoyears？Mustbe，becausethisisJuly。Timeflies，eh？Ihopeyouhavesomekidssoon，becauseIthinktheBishopwouldbepleasedtohearofit。Iofferedtogivehimyouraddress，buthesaidno。Saiditwouldn’tbeanyusebecausehewasgoingtoAthens，Greece，forawhilewiththearchbishopheworksfor。SomeDagonamefouryardslong，Inevercanrememberit。Canyouimagine，Meggie，they’reflying？"Struth！Anyway，oncehefoundoutyouweren’tonDroghedatogoroundwithhimhedidn’tstaylong，justtookarideortwo，saidMassforuseveryday，andwentsixdaysafterhegothere。"

Meggielaidtheletterdown。Heknew，heknew！Atlastheknew。Whathadhethought，howmuchhaditgrievedhim？Andwhyhadhepushedhertodothis？Ithadn’tmadethingsanybetter。Shedidn’tloveLuke，sheneverwouldloveLuke。Hewasnothingmorethanasubstitute，amanwhowouldgiveherchildrensimilarintypetothoseshemighthavehadwithRalphdeBricassart。Oh，God，whatamess！

ArchbishopdiContini-VerchesepreferredtostayinasecularhotelthanavailhimselfoftheofferedquartersinanAthensOrthodoxpalace。Hismissionwasaverydelicateone，ofsomemoment；therewerematterslongoverduefordiscussionwiththechiefprelatesofthe

GreekOrthodoxChurch，theVaticanhavingafondnessforGreekandRussianOrthodoxythatitcouldn’thaveforProtestantism。Afterall，theOrthodoxieswereschisms，notheresies；theirbishops，likeRome’s，extendedbacktoSaintPeterinanunbrokenline。

TheArchbishopknewhisappointmentforthismissionwasadiplomatictesting，asteppingstonetogreaterthingsinRome。Againhisgiftforlanguageshadbeenaboon，foritwashisfluentGreekwhichhadtippedthebalanceinhisfavor。TheyhadsentforhimallthewaytoAustralia，flownhimout。

AnditwasunthinkablethathegowithoutBishopdeBricassart，forhehadgrowntorelyuponthatamazingmanmoreandmorewiththepassingoftheyears。AMazarin，trulyaMazarin；HisGraceadmiredCardinalMazarinfarmorethanhedidCardinalRichelieu，sothecomparisonwashighpraise。RalphwaseverythingtheChurchlikedinherhighofficials。Histheologywasconservative，sowerehisethics；hisbrainwasquickandsubtle，hisfacegaveawaynothingofwhatwentonbehindit；andhehadanexquisiteknackofknowingjusthowtopleasethosehewaswith，whetherhelikedthemorloathedthem，agreedwiththemordifferedfromthem。Asycophanthewasnot，adiplomathewas。IfhewasrepeatedlybroughttotheattentionofthoseintheVaticanhierarchy，hisrisetoprominencewouldbecertain。AndthatwouldpleaseHisGracediContini-Verchese，forhedidn’twanttolosecontactwithHisLordshipdeBricassart。

Itwasveryhot，butBishopRalphdidn’tmindthedryAthensairafterSydney’shumidity。Walkingrapidly，asusualinboots，breechesandsoutane，hestrodeuptherockyramptotheAcropolis，throughthefrowningPropylon，pasttheErechtheum，onuptheinclinewithitsslipperyroughstonestotheParthenon，and。downtothewallbeyond。

There，withthewindrufflinghisdarkcurls，alittlegreyabouttheearsnow，hestoodandlookedacrossthewhitecitytothebrighthillsandtheclear，astonishingaquamarineoftheAegeanSea。RightbelowhimwasthePlakawithitsrooftopcafes，itscoloniesofBohemians，andtoonesideagreattheaterlappeduptherock。InthedistancewereRomancolumns，CrusaderfortsandVenetiancastles，butneverasignoftheTurks。Whatamazingpeople，theseGreeks。Tohatetheracewhohadruledthemforsevenhundredyearssomuchthatoncefreedtheyhadn’tleftamosqueoraminaretstanding。Andsoancient，sofullofrichheritage。HisNormanshadbeenfur-cladbarbarianswhenPericlesclothedthetopoftherockinmarble，andRomehadbeenarudevillage。Onlynow，eleventhousandmilesaway，washeabletothinkofMeggiewithoutwantingtoweep。Evenso，thedistanthillsblurredforamomentbeforehebroughthisemotionsundercontrol。Howcouldhepossiblyblameher，whenhehadtoldhertodoit？Heunderstoodatoncewhyshehadbeendeterminednottotellhim；shedidn’twanthimtomeethernewhusband，orbeapartofhernewlife。OfcourseinhismindhehadassumedshewouldbringwhomevershemarriedtoGillanboneifnottoDroghedaitself，thatshewouldcontinuetolivewhereheknewhertobesafe，freefromcareanddanger。Butoncehethoughtaboutit，hecouldseethiswasthelastthingshewouldwant。No，shehadbeenboundtogoaway，andsolongassheandthisLukeO’neillweretogether，shewouldn’tcomeback。BobsaidtheyweresavingtobuyapropertyinWesternQueensland，andthatnewshadbeenthedeathknell。Meggiemeantnevertocomeback。Asfarashewasconcerned，sheintendedtobedead。

Butareyouhappy，Meggie？Ishegoodtoyou？Doyoulovehim，thisLukeO’neill？Whatkindofmanishe，thatyouturnedfrommetohim？Whatwasitabouthim，anordinarystockman，thatyoulikedbetterthanEnochDaviesorLiamO’RourkeorAlastairMacQueen？Wasitthat1didn’tknowhim，that1couldmakenocomparisons？Didyoudoittotortureme，Meggie，topaymeback？Butwhyaretherenochildren？What’sthematterwiththeman，thatheroamsupanddownthestatelikeavagabondandputsyoutolivewithfriends？Nowonderyouhavenochild；he’snotwithyoulongenough。Meggie，why？WhydidyoumarrythisLukeO’neill？

Turning，hemadehiswaydownfromtheAcropolis，andwalkedthebusystreetsofAthens。Intheopen-airmarketsaroundEvripidouStreethelingered，fascinatedbythepeople，thehugebasketsofkalamariandfishreekinginthesun，thevegetablesandtinselslippershungsidebyside；thewomenamusedhim，theirunashamedandopencooingoverhim，alegacyofaculturebasicallyverydifferentfromhispuritanicalown。Hadtheirunabashedadmirationbeenlustful(hecouldnotthinkofabetterword)itwouldhaveembarrassedhimacutely，butheaccepteditinthespiritintended，asanaccoladeforextraordinaryphysicalbeauty。ThehotelwasonOmoniaSquare，veryluxuriousandexpensive。Archbishopdi

Contini-Verchesewas，sittinginachairbyhisbalconywindows，quietlythinking；asBishopRalphcameinheturnedhishead，smiling。"Ingoodtime，Ralph。Iwouldliketopray。"

"Ithoughteverythingwassettled？Aretheresuddencomplications，YourGrace？"

"Notofthatkind。IhadaletterfromCardinalMonteverditoday，expressingthewishesoftheHolyFather。"

BishopRalphfelthisshoulderstighten，acuriouspricklingoftheskinaroundhisears。"Tellme。"

"Assoonasthetalksareover-andtheyareover-IamtoproceedtoRome。ThereIamtobeblessedwiththebirettaofacardinal，andcontinuemyworkinRomeunderthedirectsupervisionofHisHoliness。"

"WhereasI？"

"YouwillbecomeArchbishopdeBricassart，andgobacktoAustraliatofillmyshoesasPapalLegate。"

Thepricklingskinaroundhisearsflushedredhot；hisheadwhirled，rocked。He，anon-Italian，tobehonoredwiththePapalLegation！Itwasunheardof！Oh，dependonit，hewouldbeCardinaldeBricassartyet！"OfcourseyouwillreceivetrainingandinstructioninRomefirst。Thatwilltakeaboutsixmonths，duringwhichIwillbewithyoutointroduceyoutothosewhoaremyfriends。Iwantthemtoknowyou，becausethetimewillcomewhenIshallsendforyou，Ralph，tohelpmewithmyworkintheVatican。"

"YourGrace，Ican’tthankyouenough！It’sduetoyou，thisgreatchance。""GodgrantIamsufficientlyintelligenttoseewhenamanistooabletoleaveinobscurity，Ralph！Nowletuskneelandpray。Godisverygood。"Hisrosarybeadsandmissalweresittingonatablenearby；handtrembling，BishopRalphreachedforthebeadsandknockedthemissaltothefloor。Itfellopenatthemiddle。TheArchbishop；whowasclosertoit，pickeditupandlookedcuriouslyatthebrown，tissuethinshapewhichhadoncebeenarose。

"Howextraordinary！Whydoyoukeepthis？Isitamemoryofyourhome，orperhapsofyourmother？"Theeyeswhichsawthroughguileanddissimulationwerelookingstraightathim，andtherewasnotimetodisguisehisemotion，orhisapprehension。

"No。"Hegrimaced。"Iwantnomemoriesofmymother。"

"Butitmusthavegreatmeaningforyou，thatyoustoreitsolovinglywithinthepagesofthebookmostdeartoyou。Ofwhatdoesitspeak？""OfaloveaspureasthatIbearmyGod，Vittorio。Itdoesthebooknothingbuthonor。"

"ThatIdeduced，becauseIknowyou。Butthe-love，doesitendangeryourlovefortheChurch？"

"No。ItwasfortheChurchIforsookher，thatIalwayswillforsakeher。I’vegonesofarbeyondher，andIcannevergobackagain。"

"SoatlastIunderstandthesadness！DearRalph，itisnotasbadasyouthink，trulyitisnot。Youwilllivetodogreatgoodformanypeople，youwillbelovedbymanypeople。Andshe，havingthelovewhichiscontainedinsuchanold，fragrantmemoryasthis，willneverwant。Becauseyoukeptthelovealongsidetherose。"

"Idon’tthinksheunderstandsatall。"

"Oh，yes。Ifyouhavelovedherthus，thensheiswomanenoughtounderstand。Otherwiseyouwouldhaveforgottenher，andabandonedthisreliclongsince。"

"Therehavebeentimeswhenonlyhoursonmykneeshavestoppedmefromleavingmypost，goingtoher。"

TheArchbishopeasedhimselfoutofhischairandcametokneelbesidehisfriend，thisbeautifulmanwhomhelovedashehadlovedfewthingsotherthanhisGodandhisChurch，whichtohimwereindivisible。"Youwillnotleave，Ralph，andyouknowitwell。YoubelongtotheChurch，youalwayshaveandyoualwayswill。Thevocationforyouisatrueone。Weshallpraynow，andIshalladdtheRosetomyprayersfortherestofmylife。OurDearLordsendsusmanygriefsandmuchpainduringourprogresstoeternallife。Wemustlearntobearit，Iasmuchasyou。"

AttheendofAugustMeggiegotaletterfromLuketosayhewasinTownsvilleHospitalwithWeil’sdisease，butthathewasinnodangerandwouldbeoutsoon。

"Soitlookslikewedon’thavetowaituntiltheendoftheyearforourholiday，Meg。Ican’tgobacktothecaneuntilI’monehundredpercentfit，andthebestwaytomakesureIamistohaveadecentholiday。SoI’llbealonginaweekorsotopickyouup。We’regoingtoLakeEachamontheAthertonTablelandforacoupleofweeks，untilI’mwellenoughtogobacktowork。"

Meggiecouldhardlybelieveit，anddidn’tknowifshewantedtobewithhimornot，nowthattheopportunitypresenteditself。Thoughthepainofhermindhadtakenalotlongertohealthanthepainofherbody，thememoryofherhoneymoonordealintheDunnypubhadbeenpushedfromthoughtsolongithadlostthepowertoterrifyher，andfromherreadingsheunderstoodbetternowthatmuchofithadbeenduetoignorance，herownandLuke’s。Oh，dearLord，praythisholidaywouldmeanachild！Ifshecouldonlyhaveababytoloveitwouldbesomucheasier。Annewouldn’tmindababyaround，she’dloveit。SowouldLuddie。Theyhadtoldhersoahundredtimes，hopingLukewouldcomeonceforlongenoughtorectifyhiswife’sbarrenlovelessexistence。

Whenshetoldthemwhatthelettersaidtheyweredelighted，butprivatelyskeptical。

"Sureaseggsiseggsthatwretchwillfindsomeexcusetobeoffwithouther，"saidAnnetoLuddie。

Lukehadborrowedacarfromsomewhere，andpickedMeggieupearlyinthemorning。Helookedthin，wrinkledandyellow，asifhehadbeenpickled。Shocked，Meggiegavehimhercaseandclimbedinbesidehim。"WhatisWeil’sdisease，Luke？Yousaidyouweren’tinanydanger，butitlookstomeasifyou’vebeenverysickindeed。"

"Oh，it’sjustsomesortofjaundicemostcuttersgetsoonerorlater。Thecaneratscarryit，wepickitupthroughacutorsore。I’mingoodhealth，soIwasn’ttoosickcomparedtosomewhogetit。ThequackssayI’llbefitasafiddleinnotime。"

Climbingupthroughagreatgorgefilledwithjungle，theroadledinland，ariverinfullspateroaringandtumblingbelow，andatonespotamagnificentwaterfallspillingtojoinitfromsomewhereupabove，rightathwarttheroad。Theydrovebetweenthecliffandtheanglingwaterinawet，glitteringarchwayoffantasticlightandshadow。Andastheyclimbedtheairgrewcool，exquisitelyfresh；Meggiehadforgottenhowgoodcoolairmadeherfeel。Thejungleleanedacrossthem，soimpenetrablenooneeverdaredtoenterit。Thebulkofitwasquiteinvisibleundertheweightofleafyvineslyingsaggingfromtreetoptotreetop，continuousandendless，likeavastsheetofgreenvelvetflungacrosstheforest。UndertheeavesMeggiecaughtglimpsesofwonderfulflowersandbutterflies，cartwheelingwebswithgreatelegantspeckledspidersmotionlessattheirhubs，fabulousfungichewingatmossytrunks，birdswithlongtrailingredorblondtails。LakeEachamlayontopofthetableland，idyllicinitsunspoiledsetting。Beforenightfelltheystrolledoutontotheverandaoftheirboardinghousetolookacrossthestillwater。Meggiewantedtowatchtheenormousfruitbatscalledflyingfoxeswheellikeprecursorsofdoominthousandsdowntowardtheplaceswheretheyfoundtheirfood。Theyweremonstrousandrepulsive，butsingularlytimid，entirelybenign。Toseethemcomeacrossamoltenskyindark，pulsatingsheetswasawesome；MeggienevermissedwatchingforthemfromtheHimmelhochveranda。

Anditwasheaventosinkintoasoftcoolbed，nothavetoliestilluntilonespotwassweat-saturatedandthenmovecarefullytoanewspot，knowingtheoldonewouldn’tdryoutanyway。Luketookaflatbrownpacketoutofhiscase，pickedahandfulofsmallroundobjectsoutofitandlaidtheminarowonthebedsidetable。

Meggiereachedouttotakeone，inspectit。"Whatonearthisit？"sheaskedcuriously。

"AFrenchletter。"Hehadforgottenhisdecisionoftwoyearsago，nottotellherhepracticedcontraception。"IputitonmyselfbeforeIgoinsideyou。OtherwiseImightstartababy，andwecan’taffordtodothatuntilwegetourplace。"Hewassittingnakedonthesideofthebed，andhewasthin，ribsandhipsprotruding。Buthisblueeyesshone，hereachedouttoclaspherhandasitheldtheFrenchletter。"Nearlythere，

Meg，nearlythere！IreckonanotherfivethousandpoundswillbuyusthebestpropertytobehadwestofChartersTowers。"

"Thenyou’vegotit，"shesaid，hervoicequitecalm。"IcanwritetoBishopdeBricassartandaskhimforaloanofthemoney。Hewon’tchargeusinterest。"

"Youmostcertainlywon’t！"hesnapped。"Damnit，Meg，where’syourpride？We’llworkforwhatwehave，notborrow！I’veneverowedanyoneapennyinallmylife，andI’mnotgoingtostartnow。"

Shescarcelyheardhim，glaringathimthroughahazeofbrilliantred。Inallherlifeshehadneverbeensoangry！Cheat，liar，egotist！Howdaredhedoittoher，trickheroutofababy，trytomakeherbelieveheeverhadanyintentionofbecomingagrazier！He’dfoundhisniche，withArneSwensonandthesugar。

Concealingherragesowellitsurprisedher，sheturnedherattentionbacktothelittlerubberwheelinherhand。"TellmeabouttheseFrenchletterthings。Howdotheystopmehavingababy？"

Hecametostandbehindher，andcontactoftheirbodiesmadehershiver；fromexcitementhethought，fromdisgustsheknew。"Don’tyouknowanything，Meg？"

"No，"shelied。WhichwastrueaboutFrenchletters，atanyrate；shecouldnotremembereverseeingamentionofthem。

Hishandsplayedwithherbreasts，tickling。"Look，whenIcomeImakethis-Idon’tknow-stuff，andifI’mupinsideyouwithnothingon，itstaysthere。Whenitstaystherelongenoughoroftenenough，itmakesababy。"Sothatwasit！Heworethething，likeaskinonasausage！Cheat！Turningoffthelight，hedrewherdownontothebed，anditwasn’tlongbeforehewasgropingforhisantibabydevice；sheheardhimmakingthesamesoundshehadmadeintheDunnypubbedroom，knowingnowtheymeanthewaspullingontheFrenchletter。Thecheat！Buthowtogetaroundit？

Tryingnottolethimseehowmuchhehurther，sheenduredhim。Whydidithavetohurtso，ifthiswasanaturalthing？

"It’snogood，isit，Meg？"heaskedafterward。"Youmustbeawfullysmallforittokeeponhurtingsomuchafterthefirsttime。Well，Iwon’tdoitagain。Youdon’tmindifIdoitonyourbreast，doyou？""Oh，whatdoesitmatter？"sheaskedwearily。"Ifyoumeanyou’renotgoingtohurtme，allright！"

"Youmightbeabitmoreenthusiastic，Meg！"

"Whatfor？"

Buthewasrisingagain；itwastwoyearssincehehadhadtimeorenergyforthis。Oh，itwasnicetobewithawoman，excitingandforbidden。Hedidn’tfeelatallmarriedtoMeg；itwasn’tanydifferentfromgettingabitinthepaddockbehindtheKynunapub，orhavinghigh-and-mightyMissCarmichaelagainsttheshearingshedwall。Meggiehadnicebreasts，firmfromallthatriding，justthewayhelikedthem，andhehonestlypreferredtogethispleasureatherbreast，likingthesensationofunsheathedpenissandwichedbetweentheirbellies。Frenchletterscutaman’ssensitivityalot，butnottodononewhenheputhimselfinsideherwasaskingfortrouble。

Groping，hepulledatherbuttocksandmadeherlieontopofhim，thenseizedonenipplebetweenhisteeth，feelingthehiddenpointswellandhardenonhistongue。Agreatcontemptforhimhadtaken。possessionofMeggie；whatridiculouscreaturesmenwere，gruntingandsuckingandstrainingforwhattheygotoutofit。Hewasbecomingmoreexcited，kneadingherbackandbottom，gulpingawayforalltheworldlikeagreatovergrownkittensneakedbacktoitsmother。Hishipsbegantomoveinarhythmic，jerkyfashion，andsprawledacrosshimawkwardlybecauseshewashatingittoomuchtotryhelpinghim，shefeltthetipofhisunprotectedpenisslidebetweenherlegs。

Sinceshewasnotaparticipantintheact，herthoughtswereherown。Anditwasthentheideacame。Asslowlyandunobtrusivelyasshecould，shemaneuveredhimuntilhewasrightatthemostpainfulpartofher；withagreatindrawnbreathtokeephercourageup，sheforcedthepenisin，teethclenched。Butthoughitdidhurt，itdidn’thurtnearlyasmuch。Minusitsrubbersheath，hismemberwasmoreslippery，easiertointroduceandfareasiertotolerate。

Luke’seyesopened。Hetriedtopushheraway，butoh，God！ItwasunbelievablewithouttheFrenchletter；hehadneverbeeninsideawomanbare，hadneverrealizedwhatadifferenceitmade。Hewassoclose，soexcitedhecouldn’tbringhimselftopushherawayhardenough，andintheendheputhisarmsroundher，unabletokeepuphisbreastactivity。Thoughitwasn’tmanlytocryout，hecouldn’tpreventthenoiseleavinghim，andafterwardkissedhersoftly。

"Luke？"

"What？"

"Whycan’twedothateverytime？Thenyouwouldn’thavetoputonaFrenchletter。"

"Weshouldn’thavedoneitthattime，Meg，letaloneagain。IwasrightinyouwhenIcame。"

Sheleanedoverhim，strokinghischest。"Butdon’tyousee？I’msittingup！Itdoesn’tstaythereatall，itrunsrightoutagain！Oh，Luke，please！It’ssomuchnicer，itdoesn’thurtnearlyasmuch。I’msureit’sallright，becauseIcanfeelitrunningout。Please！"

Whathumanbeingeverlivedwhocouldresisttherepetitionofperfectpleasurewhenofferedsoplausibly？Adam-like，Lukenodded，foratthisstagehewasfarlessinformedthanMeggie。

"Isupposethere’struthinwhatyousay，andit’smuchnicerformewhenyou’renotfightingit。Allright，Meg，we’lldoitthatwayfromnowon。"

Andinthedarknessshesmiled，content。Forithadnotallrunout。Themomentshefelthimshrinkoutofhershehaddrawnupalltheinternalmusclesintoaknot，slidoffhimontoherback，stuckhercrossedkneesintheaircasuallyandhungontowhatshehadwitheveryounceofdeterminationinher。Oho，myfinegentleman，I’llfixyouyet！Youwaitandsee，LukeO’neill！I’llgetmybabyifitkillsme！AwayfromtheheatandhumidityofthecoastalplainLukemendedrapidly。Eatingwell，hebegantoputtheweightheneededbackagain，andhisskinfadedfromthesicklyyellowtoitsusualbrown。Withthelureofaneager，responsiveMeggieinhisbeditwasn’ttoodifficulttopersuadehimtoprolongtheoriginaltwoweeksintothree，andthenintofour。Butattheendofamonthherebelled。

"There’snoexcuse，Meg。I’maswellasI’veeverbeen。We’resittinguphereontopoftheworldlikeakingandqueen，spendingmoney。Arneneedsme。"

"Won’tyoureconsider，Luke？Ifyoureallywantedto，youcouldbuyyourstationnow。"

"Let’shangonabitlongerthewayweare，Meg。"

Hewouldn’tadmitit，ofcourse，butthelureofthesugarwasinhisbones，thestrangefascinationsomemenhaveforutterlydemandinglabor。Aslongashisyoungman’sstrengthheldup，Lukewouldremainfaithfultothesugar。TheonlythingMeggiecouldhopeforwastoforcehimintochanginghismindbygivinghimachild，anheirtothepropertyoutaroundKynuna。

SoshewentbacktoHimmelhochtowaitandhope。Please，please，lettherebeababy！Ababywouldsolveeverything，sopleaselettherebeababy。Andtherewas。WhenshetoldAnneandLuddie，theywereoverjoyed。Luddieespeciallyturnedouttobeatreasure。Hedidthemostexquisitesmockingandembroidery，twocraftsMeggiehadneverhadtimetomaster，sowhilehepushedatinyneedlethroughdelicatefabricwithhishorny，magicalhands，MeggiehelpedAnnegetthenurserytogether。Theonlytroublewasthebabywasn’tsittingwell，whetherbecauseoftheheatorherunhappinessMeggiedidn’tknow。Themorningsicknesswasallday，andpersistedlongafteritshouldhavestopped；inspiteofherveryslightweightgainshebegantosufferbadlyfromtoomuchfluidinthetissuesofherbody，andherbloodpressurewentuptoapointatwhichDocSmithbecameapprehensive。AtfirsthetalkedofhospitalinCairnsfortheremainderofherpregnancy，butafteralongthinkaboutherhusbandless，friendlesssituationhedecidedshewouldbebetteroffwithLuddieandAnne，whodidcareforher。Forthelastthreeweeksofherterm，however，shemustdefinitelygotoCairns。

"Andtrytogetherhusbandtocomeandseeher！"heroaredtoLuddie。MeggiehadwrittenrightawaytotellLukeshewaspregnant，fulloftheusualfeminineconvictionthatoncethenot-wantedwasanirrefutablefact，Lukewouldbecomewildlyenthusiastic。Hisansweringletterscotchedanysuchdelusions。Hewasfurious。Asfarashewasconcerned，becomingafathersimplymeanthewouldhavetwononworkingmouthstofeed，insteadofnone。ItwasabitterpillforMeggietoswallow，butswallowitshedid；shehadnochoice。Nowthecomingchildboundhertohimastightlyasherpride。Butshefeltill，helpless，utterlyunloved；eventhebabydidn’tloveher，didn’twanttobeconceivedorborn。Shecouldfeelitinsideher，theweaklytinycreature’sfeebleprotestsagainstgrowingintobeing。Hadshebeenabletotoleratethetwo-thousand-milerailjourneyhome，shewouldhavegone，butDocSmithshookhisleadfirmly。Getonatrainforaweekormore，eveninbrokenstages，andthatwouldbetheendofthebaby。Disappointedandunhappythoughshewas，Meggiewouldn’tconsciouslydoanythingtoharmthebaby。Yetastimewentonherenthusiasmandherlongingtohavesomeoneofherowntolovewitheredinher；theincubuschildhungheavier，moreresentful。

DocSmithtalkedofanearliertransfertoCairns；hewasn’tsureMeggiecouldsurviveabirthinDungloe，whichhadonlyacottageinfirmary。Herbloodpressurewasrecalcitrant，thefluidkeptmounting；hetalkedoftoxemiaandeclampsia，otherlongmedicalwordswhichfrightenedAnneandLuddieintoagreeing，muchastheylongedtoseethebabybornatHimmelhoch。BytheendofMaytherewereonlyfourweekslefttogo，fourweeksuntilMeggiecouldridherselfofthisintolerableburden，thisungratefulchild。Shewaslearningtohateit，theverybeingshehadwantedsomuchbeforediscoveringwhattroubleitwouldcause。WhyhadsheassumedLukewouldlookforwardtothebabyonceitsexistencewasareality？Nothinginhisattitudeorconductsincetheirmarriageindicatedhewould。Timesheadmitteditwasadisaster，abandonedhersillyprideandtriedtosalvagewhatshecouldfromtheruins。Theyhadmarriedforallthewrongreasons:heforhermoney，sheasanescapefromRalphdeBricassartwhiletryingtoretainRalphdeBricassart。Therehadneverbeenanypretenseatlove，andonlylovemighthavehelpedherandLuketoovercometheenormousdifficultiestheirdifferingaimsanddesirescreated。Oddlyenough，sheneverseemedabletohateLuke，whereshefoundherselfhatingRalphdeBricassartmoreandmorefrequently。Yetwhenallwassaidanddone，RalphhadbeenfarkinderandfairertoherthanLuke。Notoncehadheencouragedhertodreamofhiminanyrolessavepriestandfriend，forevenonthetwooccasionswhenhehadkissedher，shehadbegunthemoveherself。

Whybesoangrywithhim，then？WhyhateRalphandnotLuke？Blameherownfearsandinadequacies，thehuge，outragedresentmentshefeltbecausehehadconsistentlyrejectedherwhenshelovedandwantedhimsomuch。AndblamethatstupidimpulsewhichhadledhertomarryLukeO’neill。AbetrayalofherownselfandRalph。Nomatterifshecouldneverhavemarriedhim，sleptwithhim，hadhischild。Nomatterifhedidn’twanther，andhedidn’twanther。Thefactremainedthathewaswhoshewanted，andsheoughtnevertohavesettledforless。

Butknowingthewrongscouldn’talterthem。ItwasstillLukeO’neillshehadmarried，LukeO’neill’schildshewascarrying。HowcouldshebehappyatthethoughtofLukeO’neill’schild，whenevenhedidn’twantit？Poorlittlething。Atleastwhenitwasbornitwouldbeitsownpieceofhumanity，andcouldbelovedasthat。Only……Whatwouldn’tshegive，forRalphdeBricassart’schild？Theimpossible，thenever-to-be。Heservedaninstitutionwhichinsistedonhavingallofhim，eventhatpartofhimshehadnousefor，hismanhood。ThatMotherChurchrequiredfromhimasasacrificetoherpowerasaninstitution，andthuswastedhim，stampedhisbeingoutofbeing，madesurethatwhenhestoppedhewouldbestoppedforever。Onlyonedayshewouldhavetopayforhergreed。Onedaytherewouldn’tbeanymoreRalphdeBricassarts，becausethey’dvaluetheirmanhoodenoughtoseethatherdemandingitofthemwasauselesssacrifice，havingnomeaningwhatsoever……Suddenlyshestoodupandwaddledthroughtothelivingroom，whereAnnewassittingreadinganundergroundcopyofNormanLindsay’sbannednovel，Redheap，veryobviouslyenjoyingeveryforbiddenword。"Anne，Ithinkyou’regoingtogetyourwish。"

Annelookedupabsently。"What，dear？"

"PhoneDocSmith。I’mgoingtohavethiswretchedbabyhereandnow。""Oh，myGod！Getintothebedroomandliedown——notyourbedroom，ours！"Cursingthewhimsoffateandthedeterminationofbabies，DocSmithhurriedoutfromDungloeinhisbatteredcarwiththelocalmidwifeinthebackandasmuchequipmentashecouldcarryfromhislittlecottagehospital。Nousetakingherthere；hecoulddoasmuchforheratHimmelhoch。ButCairnswaswheresheoughttobe。"Haveyouletthehusbandknow？"heaskedashepoundedupthefrontsteps，hismidwifebehindhim。

"Isentatelegram。She’sinmyroom；Ithoughtitwouldgiveyoumorespace。"

Hobblingintheirwake，Annewentintoherbedroom。Meggiewaslyingonthebed，wide-eyedandgivingnoindicationofpainexceptforanoccasionalspasmofherhands，adrawing-inofherbody。Sheturnedherheadtosmileat

Anne，andAnnesawthattheeyeswereveryfrightened。"I’mgladInevergottoCairns"shesaid。"Mymotherneverwenttohospitaltohavehers，andDaddysaidonceshehadaterribletimewithHat。Butshesurvived，andsowillI。We’rehardtokill，weClearywomen。"ItwashourslaterwhenthedoctorjoinedAnneontheveranda。"It’salong，hardbusinessforthelittlewoman。Firstbabiesarerarelyeasy，butthisone’snotlyingwellandshejustdragsonwithoutgettinganywhere。IfshewasinCairnsshecouldhaveaCaesarean，butthat’soutofthequestionhere。She’lljusthavetopushitoutallbyherself。""Issheconscious？"

"Oh，yes。Gallantlittlesoul，doesn’tscreamorcomplain。Thebestonesusuallyhavetheworsttimeofitinmyopinion。KeepsaskingmeifRalph’shereyet，andIhavetotellhersomelieabouttheJohnstoneinflood。Ithoughtherhusband’snamewasLuke？"

"Itis。"

"Hmmm！Well，maybethat’swhyshe’saskingforthisRalph，whoeverheis。Luke’snocomfort，ishe？"

"Luke’sabastard。"

Anneleanedforward，handsontheverandarailing。AtaxiwascomingfromtheDunnyroad，andhadturnedoffuptheinclinetoHimmelhoch。Herexcellenteyesightjustdiscernedablack-hairedmanintheback，andshecrowedwithreliefandjoy。

"Idon’tbelievewhatIsee，butIthinkLuke’sfinallyrememberedhe’sgotawife！"

"I’dbestgobacktoherandleaveyoutocopewithhim，Anne。Iwon’tmentionittoher，incaseitisn’thim。Ifitishim，givehimacupofteaandsavethehardstuffforlater。He’sgoingtoneedit。"

Thetaxidrewup；toAnne’ssurprisethedrivergotoutandwenttothebackdoortoopenitforhispassenger。JoeCastiglione，whoranDunny’ssoletaxi，wasn’tusuallygiventosuchcourtesies。

"Himmelhoch，YourGrace，"hesaid，bowingdeeply。Amaninalong，flowingblacksoutanegotout，apurplegrosgrainsashabouthiswaist。Asheturned，AnnethoughtforadazedmomentthatLukeO’neillwasplayingsomeelaboratetrickonher。Thenshesawthatthiswasafardifferentman，agoodtenyearsolderthanLuke。MyGod！shethoughtasthegracefulfiguremountedherstepstwoatatime。He’sthehandsomestchapI’veeverseen！Anarchbishop，noless！WhatdoesaCatholicarchbishopwantwithapairofoldLutheranslikeLuddieandme？"Mrs。Mueller？"heasked，smilingdownatherwithkind，aloofblueeyes。Asifhehadseenmuchhewouldgiveanythingnottohaveseen，andhadmanagedtostopfeelinglongago。

"Yes，I’mAnneMueller。"

"I’mArchbishopRalphdeBricassart，HisHoliness’sLegateinAustralia。IunderstandyouhaveaMrs。LukeO’neillstayingwithyou？""Yes，sir。"Ralph？Ralph？WasthisRalph？

"I’maveryoldfriendofhers。IwonderifImightseeher，please？""Well，I’msureshe’dbedelighted，Archbishop"！——no，thatwasn’tright，onedidn’tsayArchbishop，onesaidYourGrace，likeJoeCastiglione-"undermorenormalcircumstances，butatthemomentMeggie’sinlabor，andhavingaveryhardtime。"

Thenshesawthathehadn’tsucceededinstoppingfeelingatall，onlydisciplinedittoadoglikeabjectionatthebackofhisthinkingmind。Hiseyesweresoblueshefeltshedrownedinthem，andwhatshesawinthemnowmadeherwonderwhatMeggiewastohim，andwhathewastoMeggie。"Iknewsomethingwaswrong！I’vefeltthatsomethingwaswrongforalongtime，butoflatemyworry’sbecomeanobsession。Ihadtocomeandseeformyself。Please，letmeseeher！Ifyouwishforareason，Iamapriest。"Annehadneverintendedtodenyhim。"Comealong，YourGrace，throughhere，please。"Andassheshuffledslowlybetweenhertwosticksshekeptthinking:Isthehousecleanandtidy？HaveIdusted？Didweremembertothrowoutthatsmellyoldlegoflamb，orisitallthroughtheplace？Whatatimeforamanasimportantasthisonetocomecalling！Luddie，willyounevergetyourfatarseoffthattractorandcomein？Theboyshouldhavefoundyouhoursago！HewentpastDocSmithandthemidwifeasiftheydidn’texisttodroponhiskneesbesidethebed，hishandreachingforhers。"Meggie！"

Shedraggedherselfoutoftheghastlydreamintowhichshehadsunk，pastcaring，andsawthebelovedfaceclosetohers，thestrongblackhairwithtwowhitewingsinitsdarknessnow，thefinearistocraticfeaturesalittlemorelined，morepatientifpossible，andtheblueeyeslookingintoherswithloveandlonging。HowhadsheeverconfusedLukewithhim？Therewasnoonelikehim，thereneverwouldbeforher，andshehadbetrayedwhatshefeltforhim。Lukewasthedarksideofthemirror；Ralphwasassplendidasthesun，andasremote。Oh，howbeautifultoseehim！

"Ralph，helpme，"shesaid。

Hekissedherhandpassionately，thenheldittohischeek。"Always，myMeggie，youknowthat。"

"Prayforme，andthebaby。Ifanyonecansaveus，youcan。You’remuchclosertoGodthanweare。Noonewantsus，noonehaseverwantedus，evenyou。"

"Where’sLuke？"

"Idon’tknow，andIdon’tcare。"Sheclosedhereyesandrolledherheaduponthepillow，butthefingersinhisgrippedstrongly，wouldn’tlethimgo。

ThenDocSmithtouchedhimontheshoulder。"YourGrace，Ithinkyououghttostepoutsidenow。"

"Ifherlifeisindanger，you’llcallme？"

"Inasecond。"

Luddiehadfinallycomeinfromthecane，franticbecausetherewasnoonetobeseenandhedidn’tdareenterthebedroom。"Anne，issheallright？"heaskedashiswifecameoutwiththeArchbishop。

"Sofar。Docwon’tcommithimself，butIthinkhe’sgothope。Luddie，wehaveavisitor。ThisisArchbishopRalphdeBricassart，anoldfriendofMeggie’s。"

Betterversedthanhiswife，Luddiedroppedononekneeandkissedtheringonthehandheldouttohim。"Sitdown，YourGrace，talktoAnne。I’llgoandputakettleonforsometea。"

"Soyou’reRalph，"Annesaid，proppinghersticksagainstabambootablewhilethepriestsatoppositeherwiththefoldsofhissoutanefallingabouthim，hisglossyblackridingbootsclearlyvisible，forhehadcrossedhisknees。Itwasaneffeminatethingforamantodo，buthewasapriestsoitdidn’tmatter；yettherewassomethingintenselymasculineabouthim，crossedlegsorno。Hewasprobablynotasoldasshehadfirstthought；inhisveryearlyforties，perhaps。Whatawasteofamagnificentman！

"Yes，I’mRalph。"

"EversinceMeggie’slaborstartedshe’sbeenaskingforsomeonecalledRalph。ImustadmitIwaspuzzled。Idon’teverrememberhermentioningaRalphbefore。"

"Shewouldn’t。"

"HowdoyouknowMeggie，YourGrace？Forhowlong？"Thepriestsmiledwrylyandclaspedhisthin，verybeautifulhandstogethersotheymadeapointedchurchroof。"I’veknownMeggiesinceshewastenyearsold，onlydaysofftheboatfromNewZealand。YoumightinalltruthsaythatI’veknownMeggiethroughfloodandfireandemotionalfamine，andthroughdeath，andlife。Allthatwehavetobear。MeggieisthemirrorinwhichI’mforcedtoviewmymortality。"

"Youloveher！"Anne’stonewassurprised。

"Always。"

"It’satragedyforbothofyou。"

"Ihadhopedonlyforme。Tellmeabouther，what’shappenedtohersinceshemarried。It’smanyyearssinceI’veseenher，butIhaven’tbeenhappyabouther。"

"I’lltellyou，butonlyafteryou’vetoldmeaboutMeggie。Oh，Idon’tmeanpersonalthings，onlyaboutwhatsortoflifesheledbeforeshecameto

Dunny。Weknowabsolutelynothingofher，LuddieandI，exceptthatsheusedtolivesomewherenearGillanbone。We’dliketoknowmore，becausewe’reveryfondofher。Butshewouldnevertellusathing-pride，Ithink。"Luddiecarriedinatrayloadedwithteaandfood，andsatdownwhilethepriestgavethemanoutlineofMeggie’slifebeforeshemarriedLuke。"Iwouldneverhaveguesseditinamillionyears！TothinkLukeO’neillhadthetemeritytotakeherfromallthatandputhertoworkasahousemaid！Andhadthehidetostipulatethatherwagesbeputinhisbank-book！Doyouknowthepoorlittlethinghasneverhadapennyinherpursetospendonherselfsinceshe’sbeenhere？IhadLuddiegiveheracashbonuslast

Christmas，butbythensheneededsomanythingsitwasallspentinaday，andshe’dnevertakemorefromus。"

"Don’tfeelsorryforMeggie，"saidArchbishopRalphalittleharshly。"Idon’tthinkshefeelssorryforherself，certainlynotoverlackofmoney。It’sbroughtlittlejoytoherafterall，hasit？Sheknowswheretogoifshecan’tdowithoutit。I’dsayLuke’sapparentindifferencehashurtherfarmorethanthelackofmoney。MypoorMeggie！"BetweenthemAnneandLuddiefilledintheoutlineofMeggie’slife，whileArchbishopdeBricassartsat，hishandsstillsteepled，hisgazeonthelovelysweepingfanofatraveler’spalmoutside。Notoncedidamuscleinhisfacemove，orachangecomeintothosedetachedlybeautifuleyes。HehadlearnedmuchsincebeingintheserviceofVittorioScarbanza，CardinaldiContiniVerchese。

Whenthetalewasdonehesighed，andshiftedhisgazetotheiranxiousfaces。"Well，itseemswemusthelpher，sinceLukewillnot。IfLuketrulydoesn’twanther，she’dbebetteroffbackonDrogheda。Iknowyoudon’twanttoloseher，butforhersaketrytopersuadehertogohome。IshallsendyouacheckfromSydneyforher，soshewon’thavetheembarrassmentofaskingherbrotherformoney。Thenwhenshegetshomeshecantellthemwhatshelikes。"Heglancedtowardthebedroomdoorandmovedrestlessly。"DearGod，letthechildbeborn！"

Butthechildwasn’tbornuntilnearlytwenty-fourhourslater，andMeggiealmostdeadfromexhaustionandpain。DocSmithhadgivenhercopiousdosesoflaudanum，thatstillbeingthebestthing，inhisold-fashionedopinion；sheseemedtodriftwhirlingthroughspiralingnightmaresinwhichthingsfromwithoutandwithinrippedandtore，clawedandspat，howledandwhinedandroared。SometimesRalph’sfacewouldcomeintofocusforasmallmoment，thengoagainonaheavingtideofpain；butthememoryofhimpersisted，andwhilehekeptwatchsheknewneithershenorthebabywoulddie。Pausing，whilethemidwifecopedalone，tosnatchfoodandastifftotofrumandcheckthatnoneofhisotherpatientswereinconsiderateenoughtothinkofdying，DocSmithlistenedtoasmuchofthestoryasAnneandLuddiethoughtwisetotellhim。

"You’reright，Anne，"hesaid。"Allthatridingisprobablyoneofthereasonsforhertroublenow。Whenthesidesaddlewentoutitwasabadthingforwomenwhomustridealot。Astridedevelopsthewrongmuscles。""I’dheardthatwasanoldwives’tale，"saidtheArchbishopmildly。DocSmithlookedathimmaliciously。Hewasn’tfondofCatholicpriests，deemedthemasanctimoniouslotofdrivelingfools。"Thinkwhatyoulike，"hesaid。"Buttellme，YourGrace，ifitcamedowntoachoicebetweenMeggie’slifeandthebaby’s，whatwouldyourconscienceadvise？"

"TheChurchisadamantonthatpoint，Doctor。Nochoicemusteverbemade。Thechildcannotbedonetodeathtosavethemother，northemotherdonetodeathtosavethechild。"HesmiledbackatDocSmithjustasmaliciously。"Butifitshouldcometothat，Doctor，Iwon’thesitatetotellyoutosaveMeggie，andthehellwiththebaby。"

DocSmithgasped，laughed，andclappedhimontheback。"Goodforyou！Resteasy，Iwon’tbroadcastwhatyousaid。Butsofarthechild’salive，andIcan’tseewhatgoodkillingitisgoingtodo。"

ButAnnewasthinkingtoherself:Iwonderwhatyouranswerwouldhavebeenifthechildwasyours，Archbishop？

Aboutthreehourslater，astheafternoonsunwasslidingsadlydowntheskytowardMountBartleFrere’smistybulk，DocSmithcameoutofthebedroom。

"Well，it’sover，"hesaidwithsomesatisfaction。"Meggie’sgotalongroadaheadofher，butshe’llbeallright，Godwilling。Andthebabyisaskinny，cranky，five-poundgirlwithawhoppinggreatheadandatempertomatchthemostpoisonousredhairI’veeverseenonanewbornbaby。Youcouldn’tkillthatlittlemitewithanaxe，andIknow，becauseInearlytried。"

Jubilant，Luddiebrokeoutthebottleofchampagnehehadbeensaving，andthefiveofthemstoodwiththeirglassesbrimming；priest，doctor，midwife，farmerandcrippletoastedthehealthandwell-beingofthemotherandherscreaming，crotchetybaby。ItwasthefirstofJune，thefirstdayoftheAustralianwinter。

Anursehadarrivedtotakeoverfromthemidwife，andwouldstayuntilMeggiewaspronouncedoutofalldanger。Thedoctorandthemidwifeleft，whileAnne，LuddieandtheArchbishopwenttoseeMeggie。ShelookedsotinyandwastedinthedoublebedthatArchbishopRalphwasobligedtostoreawayanother，separatepaininthebackofhismind，tobetakenoutlater，inspectedandendured。Meggie，mytornandbeatenMeggie……Ishallloveyoualways，butIcannotgiveyouwhatLukeO’neilldid，howevergrudgingly。

Thegrizzlingscrapofhumanityresponsibleforallthislayinawickerbassinetbythefarwall，notabitappreciativeoftheirattentionastheystoodaroundherandpeereddown。Sheyelledherresentment，andkeptonyelling。Intheendthenurseliftedher，bassinetandall；andputherintheroomdesignatedashernursery。

"There’scertainlynothingwrongwithherlungs。"ArchbishopRalphsmiled，sittingontheedgeofthebedandtakingMeggie’spalehand。"Idon’tthinkshelikeslifemuch，"Meggiesaidwithanansweringsmile。Howmucholderhelooked！Asfitandsuppleasever，butimmeasurablyolder。SheturnedherheadtoAnneandLuddie，andheldoutherotherhand。"Mydeargoodfriends！WhateverwouldIhavedonewithoutyou？HaveweheardfromLuke？"

"Igotatelegramsayinghewastoobusytocome，butwishingyougoodluck。"

"Bigofhim，"saidMeggie。

Annebentquicklytokisshercheck。"We’llleaveyoutotalkwiththeArchbishop，dear。I’msureyou’vegotalotofcatchinguptodo。"Leaningon

Luddie，shecrookedherfingeratthenurse，whowasgapingatthepriestasifshecouldn’tbelievehereyes。"Comeon，Nettie，haveacupofteawithus。HisGracewillletyouknowifMeggieneedsyou。"

"Whatareyougoingtocallyournoisydaughter？"heaskedasthedoorclosedandtheywerealone。

"Justine。"

"It’saverygoodname，butwhydidyouchooseit？""Ireaditsomewhere，andIlikedit。"

"Don’tyouwanther，Meggie？"

Herfacehadshrunk，andseemedalleyes；theyweresoftandfilledwithamistylight，nohatebutnoloveeither。"IsupposeIwanther。Yes，Idowanther。Ischemedenoughtogether。ButwhileIwascarryingherIcouldn’tfeelanythingforher，exceptthatshedidn’twantme。Idon’tthinkJustinewilleverbemine，orLuke’s，oranyone’s。Ithinkshe’salwaysgoingtobelongtoherself。"

"Imustgo，Meggie，"hesaidgently。

Nowtheeyesgrewharder，brighter:hermouthtwistedintoanunpleasantshape。"Iexpectedthat！Funnyhowthemeninmylifeallscuttleoffintothewoodwork，isn’tit？"

Hewinced。"Don’tbebitter，Meggie。Ican’tbeartoleavethinkingofyoulikethis。Nomatterwhat’shappenedtoyouinthepast，you’vealwaysretainedyoursweetnessandit’sthethingaboutyouIfindmostendearing。Don’tchange，don’tbecomehardbecauseofthis。IknowitmustbeterribletothinkthatLukedidn’tcareenoughtocome，butdon’tchange。Youwouldn’tbemyMeggieanymore。"Butstillshelookedathimhalfasifshehatedhim。"Oh，comeoffit，Ralph！I’mnotyourMeggie，Ineverwas！Youdidn’twantme，yousentmetohim，toLuke。WhatdoyouthinkIam，somesortofsaint，oranun？Well，I’mnot！I’manordinaryhumanbeing，andyou’vespoiledmylife！AlltheyearsI’velovedyou，andwantedtoforgetyou，butthenImarriedamanIthoughtlookedalittlebitlikeyou，andhedoesn’twantmeorneedmeeither。Isitsomuchtoaskofaman，tobeneededandwantedbyhim？"Shebegantosob，masteredit；therewerefinelinesofpainonherfacethathehadneverseenbefore，andheknewtheyweren’tthekindthatrestandreturninghealthwouldsmoothaway。

"Luke’snotabadman，orevenanunlikableone，"shewenton。"Justaman。You’reallthesame，greatbighairymothsbashingyourselvestopiecesafterasillyflamebehindaglasssoclearyoureyesdon’tseeit。Andifyoudomanagetoblunderyourwayinsidetheglasstoflyintotheflame，youfalldownburnedanddead。Whileallthetimeoutthereinthecoolnightthere’sfood，andlove，andbabymothstoget。Butdoyouseeit，doyouwantit？No！It’sbackaftertheflameagain，beatingyourselvessenselessuntilyouburnyourselvesdead！"

Hedidn’tknowwhattosaytoher，forthiswasasideofherhehadneverseen。Haditalwaysbeenthere，orhadshegrownitoutofherterribletroubleandabandonment？Meggie，sayingthingslikethis？Hehardlyheardwhatshesaid，hewassoupsetthatsheshouldsayit，andsodidn’tunderstandthatitcamefromherloneliness，andherguilt。"DoyouremembertheroseyougavemethenightIleftDrogheda？"heaskedtenderly。

"Yes，Iremember。"Thelifehadgoneoutofhervoice，thehardlightoutofhereyes。Theystaredathimnowlikeasoulwithouthope，asexpressionlessandglassyashermother’s。

"Ihaveitstill，inmymissal。AndeverytimeIseearosethatcolor，Ithinkofyou。Meggie，Iloveyou。You’remyrose，themostbeautifulhumanimageandthoughtinmylife。"

Downwentthecornersofhermouthagain，upshonethattense，glitteringfiercenesswiththetangofhateinit。"Animage，athought！Ahumanimageandthought！Yes，that’sright，that’sallIamtoyou！You’renothingbutaromantic，dreamingfool，RalphdeBricassart！YouhavenomoreideaofwhatlifeisallaboutthanthemothIcalledyou！Nowonderyoubecameapriest！Youcouldn’tlivewiththeordinarinessoflifeifyouwereanordinarymananymorethanordinarymanLukedoes！

"Yousayyouloveme，butyouhavenoideawhatloveis；you’rejustmouthingwordsyou’vememorizedbecauseyouthinktheysoundgood！Whatfloorsmeiswhyyoumenhaven’tmanagedtodispensewithuswomenaltogether，whichiswhatyou’dliketodo，isn’tit？Youshouldworkoutawayofmarryingeachother；you’dbedivinelyhappy！""Meggie，don’t！Pleasedon’t！"

"Oh，goaway！Idon’twanttolookatyou！Andyou’veforgottenonethingaboutyourpreciousroses，Ralph-they’vegotnasty，hookythorns！"Helefttheroomwithoutlookingback。

Lukeneverbotheredtoanswerthetelegraminforminghimhewastheproudfatherofafive-poundgirlnamedJustine。SlowlyMeggiegotbetter，andthebabybegantothrive。PerhapsifMeggiecouldhavemanagedtofeedhershemighthavedevelopedmorerapportwiththescrawny，bad-temperedlittlething，butshehadabsolutelynomilkintheplenteousbreastsLukehadsolovedtosuck。That’sanironicjustice，shethought。Shedutifullychangedandbottle-fedthered-faced，red-headedmorseljustascustomdictatedsheshould，waitingforthecommencementofsomewonderful，surgingemotion。Butitnevercame；shefeltnodesiretosmotherthetinyfacewithkisses，orbitetheweefingers，ordoanyofthethousandsillythingsmotherslovedtodowithbabies。Itdidn’tfeellikeherbaby，anditdidn’twantorneedheranymorethanshedidit。It，it！Her，her！Shecouldn’tevenremembertocallither。LuddieandAnneneverdreamedMeggiedidnotadoreJustine，thatshefeltlessforJustinethanshehadforanyofhermother’syoungerbabies。WheneverJustinecriedMeggiewasrighttheretopickherup，croontoher，rockher，andneverwasababydrierormorecomfortable。ThestrangethingwasthatJustinedidn’tseemtowanttobepickeduporcroonedover；shequietedmuchfasterifshewasleftalone。

Astimewentonsheimprovedinlooks。Herinfantskinlostitsredness，acquiredthatthinblue-veinedtransparencywhichgoessooftenwithredhair，andherlittlearmsandlegsfilledouttopleasingplumpness。ThehairbegantocurlandthickenandtoassumeforeverthesameviolentshadehergrandfatherPaddyhadowned。Everyonewaitedanxiouslytoseewhatcolorhereyeswouldturnouttobe，Luddiebettingonherfather’sblue，Anneonhermother’sgrey，Meggiewithoutanopinion。ButJustine’seyeswereverydefinitelyherown，andunnervingtosaytheleast。Atsixweekstheybegantochange，andbytheninthweekhadgainedtheirfinalcolorandform。Noonehadevenseenanythinglikethem。Aroundtheouterrimoftheiriswasaverydarkgreyring，buttheirisitselfwassopaleitcouldn’tbecalledeitherblueorgrey；theclosestdescriptionofthecolorwasasortofdarkwhite。Theywereriveting，uncomfortable，inhumaneyes，ratherblind-looking；butastimewentonitwasobviousJustinesawthroughthemverywell。Thoughhedidn’tmentionit，DocSmithhadbeenworriedbythesizeofherheadwhenshewasborn，andkeptaclosewatchonitforthefirstsixmonthsofherlife；hehadwondered，especiallyafterseeingthosestrangeeyes，ifshedidn’tperhapshavewhathestillcalledwateronthebrain，thoughthetextbooksthesedayswerecallingithydrocephalus。ButitappearedJustinewasn’tsufferingfromanykindofcerebraldysfunctionormalformation；shejusthadaverybighead，andasshegrewtherestofhermoreorlesscaughtuptoit。Lukestayedaway。Meggiehadwrittentohimrepeatedly，butheneitheranswerednorcametoseehischild。Inawayshewasglad；shewouldn’thaveknownwhattosaytohim，andshedidn’tthinkhewouldbeatallentrancedwiththeoddlittlecreaturewhowashisdaughter。HadJustinebeenastrappingbigsonhemighthaverelented，butMeggiewasfiercelygladshewasn’t。ShewaslivingproofthegreatLukeO’neillwasn’tperfect，forifhewashewouldsurelyhavesirednothingbutsons。ThebabythrivedbetterthanMeggiedid，recoveredfasterfromthebirthordeal。Bythetimeshewasfourmonthsoldsheceasedtocrysomuchandbegantoamuseherselfasshelayinherbassinet，fiddlingandpinchingattherowsofbrightlycoloredbeadsstrungwithinherreach。Butsheneversmiledatanyone，evenintheguiseofgaspains。TheWetcameearly，inOctober，anditwasaverywetWet。Thehumidityclimbedto100percentandstayedthere；everydayforhourstherainroaredandwhippedaboutHimmelhoch，meltingthescarletsoil，drenchingthecane，fillingthewide，deepDungloeRiverbutnotoverflowingit，foritscoursewassoshortthewatergotawayintotheseaquicklyenough。WhileJustinelayinherbassinetcontemplatingherworldthroughthosestrangeeyes，MeggiesatdullywatchingBartleFreredisappearbehindawallofdenserain，thenreappear。

Thesunwouldcomeout，writhingveilsofsteamissuefromtheground，thewetcaneshimmerandsparklediamondprisms，andtheriverseemlikeagreatgoldsnake。Thenhangingrightacrossthevaultoftheskyadoublerainbowwouldmaterialize，perfectthroughoutitslengthonbothbows，sorichinitscoloringagainstthesullendark-bluecloudsthatallsaveaNorthQueenslandlandscapewouldhavebeenpaledanddiminished。BeingNorthQueensland，nothingwaswashedoutbyitsetherealglow，andMeggiethoughtsheknewwhytheGillanbonecountrysidewassobrownandgrey；NorthQueenslandhadusurpeditsshareofthepaletteaswell。

OnedayatthebeginningofDecember，Annecameoutontotheverandaandsatdownbesideher，watchingher。Oh，shewassothin，solifeless！Eventhelovelygoldyhairhaddulled。

"Meggie，Idon’tknowwhetherI’vedonethewrongthing，butI’vedoneitanyway，andIwantyouatleasttolistentomebeforeyousayno。"Meggieturnedfromtherainbows，smiling。"Yousoundsosolemn，Anne！WhatisitImustlistento？"

"LuddieandIareworriedaboutyou。Youhaven’tpickedupproperlysinceJustinewasborn，andnowTheWet’shereyou’relookingevenworse。You’renoteatingandyou’relosingweight。I’veneverthoughttheclimatehereagreedwithyou，butaslongasnothinghappenedtodragyoudownyoumanagedtocopewithit。Nowwethinkyou’resick，andunlesssomething’sdoneyou’regoingtogetreallyill。"

Shedrewabreath。"SoacoupleofweeksagoIwrotetoafriendofmineinthetouristbureau，andbookedyouaholiday。Anddon’tstartprotestingabouttheexpense；itwon’tdentLuke’sresourcesorours。TheArchbishopsentusaverybigcheckforyou，andyourbrothersentusanotheroneforyouandthebaby-Ithinkhewashintinggohomeforawhile-fromeveryoneonDrogheda。Andafterwetalkeditover，LuddieandIdecidedthebestthingwecoulddowasspendsomeofitonaholidayforyou。Idon’tthinkgoinghometoDroghedaistherightsortofholiday，though。WhatLuddieandIfeelyouneedmostisathinkingtime。NoJustine，nous，noLuke，noDrogheda。Haveyoueverbeenonyourown，Meggie？It’stimeyouwere。Sowe’vebookedyouacottageonMatlockIslandfortwomonths，fromthebeginningofJanuarytothebeginningofMarch。LuddieandIwilllookafterJustine。Youknowshewon’tcometoanyharm，butifwe’retheslightestbitworriedabouther，youhaveourwordwe’llnotifyyourightaway，andtheisland’sonthephonesoitwouldn’ttakelongtofetchyouback。"Therainbowshadgone，sohadthesun；itwasgettingreadytorainagain。"Anne，ifithadn’tbeenforyouandLuddiethesepastthreeyears，Iwouldhavegonemad。Youknowthat。SometimesinthenightIwakeupwonderingwhatwouldhavehappenedtomehadLukeputmewithpeoplelesskind。You’vecaredformemorethanLukehas。"

"Twaddle！IfLukehadputyouwithunsympatheticpeopleyouwouldhavegonebacktoDrogheda，andwhoknows？Maybethatmighthavebeenthebestcourse。""No。Ithasn’tbeenpleasant，thisthingwithLuke，butitwasfarbetterformetostayandworkitout。"

Therainwasbeginningtoinchitswayacrossthedimmingcaneblottingouteverythingbehinditsedge，likeagreycleaver。"You’reright，I’mnotwell，"Meggiesaid。"Ihaven’tbeenwellsinceJustinewasconceived。I’vetriedtopullmyselfup，butIsupposeonereachesapointwherethereisn’ttheenergytodoit。Oh，Anne，I’msotiredanddiscouraged！I’mnotevenagoodmothertoJustine，andIoweherthat。I’mtheonecausedhertobe；shedidn’taskforit。ButmostlyI’mdiscouragedbecauseLuke，won’tevengivemeachancetomakehimhappy。Hewon’tlivewithmeorletmemakeahomeforhim；hedoesn’twantourchildren。Idon’tlovehim-Ineverdidlovehimthewayawomanoughttolovethemanshemarries，andmaybehesenseditfromthewordgo。MaybeifIhadlovedhim，hewouldhaveacteddifferently。SohowcanIblamehim？I’veonlymyselftoblame，Ithink。"

"It’stheArchbishopyoulove，isn’tit？"

"Oh，eversinceIwasalittlegirl！Iwashardonhimwhenhecame。PoorRalph！IhadnorighttosaywhatIdidtohim，becauseheneverencouragedme，youknow。Ihopehe’shadtimetounderstandthatIwasinpain，wornout，andterriblyunhappy。AllIcouldthinkwasitoughtbyrightstobehischildanditneverwouldbe，nevercouldbe。Itisn’tfair！Protestantclergycanmarry，whycan’tCatholic？Anddon’ttrytotellmeministersdon’tcarefortheirflocksthewaypriestsdo，becauseIwon’tbelieveyou。I’vemetheartlesspriestsandwonderfulministers。ButbecauseofthecelibacyofpriestsI’vehadtogoawayfromRalph，makemyhomeandmylifewithsomeoneelse，havesomeoneelse’sbaby。Anddoyouknowsomething，Anne？That’sasdisgustingasinasRalphbreakinghisvows，ormoreso。IresenttheChurch’simplicationthatmylovingRalphorhislovingmeiswrong！""Goawayforawhile，Meggie。Restandeatandsleepandstopfretting。ThenmaybewhenyoucomebackyoucansomehowpersuadeLuketobuythatstationinsteadoftalkingaboutit。Iknowyoudon’tlovehim，butIthinkifhegaveyouhalfachanceyoumightbehappywithhim。"

Thegreyeyeswerethesamecolorastherainfallinginsheetsallaroundthehouse；theirvoiceshadrisentoshoutingpitchtobeaudibleabovetheincredibledinontheironroof。

"Butthat’sjustit，Anne！WhenLukeandIwentuptoAthertonIrealizedatlastthathe’llneverleavethesugarwhilehe’sgotthestrengthtocutit。Helovesthelife，hereallydoes。Helovesbeingwithmenasstrongandindependentasheishimself；helovesroamingfromoneplacetotheother。He’salwaysbeenawanderer，nowIcometothinkofit。Asforneedingawomanforpleasureifnothingelse，he’stooexhaustedbythecane。AndhowcanIputit？Lukeisthekindofmanwhoquitegenuinelydoesn’tcareifheeatshisfoodoffapackingcrateandsleepsonthefloor。Don’tyousee？Onecan’tappealtohimastoonewholikesnicethings，becausehedoesn’t。SometimesIthinkhedespisesnicethings，prettythings。They’resoft，theymightmakehimsoft。Ihaveabsolutelynoenticementspowerfulenoughtoswayhimfromhispresentwayoflife。"

Sheglancedupimpatientlyattheverandaroof，asiftiredofshouting。"Idon’tknowifI’mstrongenoughtotakethelonelinessofhavingnohomeforthenexttenorfifteenyears，Anne，orhoweverlongit’sgoingtotakeLuketowearhimselfout。It’slovelyherewithyou；Idon’twantyoutothinkI’mungrateful。ButIwantahome！IwantJustinetohavebrothersandsisters，Iwanttodustmyownfurniture，Iwanttomakecurtainsformyownwindows，cookonmyownstoveformyownman。Oh，Anne！I’mjustanordinarysortofawoman；I’mnotambitiousorintelligentorwelleducated，youknowthat。AllIwantisahusband，children，myownhome。Andabitoflovefromsomeone！"

Annegotoutherhandkerchief，wipedhereyesandtriedtolaugh。"Whatasoppypairweare！ButIdounderstand，Meggie，reallyIdo。I’vebeenmarriedtoLuddiefortenyears，theonlytrulyhappyonesofmylife。IhadinfantileparalysiswhenIwasfiveyearsold，anditleftmelikethis。Iwasconvincednoonewouldeverlookatme。Nordidthey，Godknows。WhenImetLuddieIwasthirtyyearsold，teachingforaliving。Hewastenyearsyoungerthanme，soIcouldn’ttakehimseriouslywhenhesaidhelovedmeandwantedtomarryme。Howterrible，Meggie，toruinaveryyoungman’slife！ForfiveyearsItreatedhimtotheworstdisplayofdownrightnastinessyoucouldimagine，buthealwayscamebackformore。SoImarriedhim，andI’vebeenhappy。Luddiesaysheis，butI’mnotsure。He’shadtogiveupalot，includingchildren，andhelooksolderthanIdothesedays，poorchap。""It’sthelife，Anne，andtheclimate。"

Therainstoppedassuddenlyasithadbegun；thesuncameout，therainbowswaxedtofullgloryinthesteamysky；MountBartleFrereloomedlilacoutofthescuddingclouds。

Meggiespokeagain。"I’llgo。I’mverygratefultoyouforthinkingofit；it’sprobablywhatIneed。ButareyousureJustinewon’tbetoomuchtrouble？"

"Lord，no！Luddie’sgotitallworkedout。AnnaMaria，whousedtoworkformebeforeyoucame，hasayoungersister，Annunziata，whowantstogonursinginTownsville。Butshewon’tbesixteenuntilMarch，andshefinishesschoolinafewdays。Sowhileyou’reawayshe’sgoingtocomehere。She’sanexpertfostermother，too。TherearehordesofbabiesintheTesorieroclan。""MatlockIsland。Whereisit？"

"JustnearWhitsundayPassageontheGreatBarrierReef。It’sveryquietandprivate，mostlyahoneymoonresort，Isuppose。Youknowthesortofthing-cottagesinsteadofacentralhotel。Youwon’thavetogotodinnerinacrowdeddiningroom，orbeciviltoawholeheapofpeopleyou’drathernottalktoatall。Andatthistimeofyearit’sjustaboutdeserted，becauseofthedangerofsummercyclones。TheWetisn’taproblem，butnooneeverseemstowanttogototheReefinsummer。ProbablybecausemostofthepeoplewhogototheReefcomefromSydneyorMelbourne，andsummerdownthereislovelywithoutgoingaway。InJuneandJulyandAugustthesouthernershaveitbookedoutforthreeyearsahead。"

Onthelastdayof1937MeggiecaughtthetraintoTownsville。Thoughherholidayhadscarcelybegun，shealreadyfeltmuchbetter，forshehadleftthemolassesreekofDunnybehindher。ThebiggestsettlementinNorthQueensland，Townsvillewasathrivingtownofseveralthousandslivinginwhitewoodenhousesatopstilts。Atightconnectionbetweentrainandboatleftherwithnotimetoexplore，butinawayMeggiewasn’tsorryshehadtorushtothewharfwithoutachancetothink；afterthatghastlyvoyageacrosstheTasmansixteenyearsagoshewasn’tlookingforwardtothirty-sixhoursinashipmuchsmallerthantheWahine。

Butitwasquitedifferent，awhisperingslideinglassywaters，andshewastwenty-six，notten。Theairwasbetweencyclones，theseawasexhausted；thoughitwasonlymiddayMeggieputherheaddownandsleptdreamlesslyuntilthestewardwokeheratsixthenextmorningwithacupofteaandaplateofplainsweetbiscuits。

UpondeckwasanewAustralia，differentagain。Inahighclearsky，delicatelycolorless，apinkandpearlyglowsuffusedslowlyupwardfromtheeasternrimoftheoceanuntilthesunstoodabovethehorizonandthelightlostitsneonatalredness，becameday。Theshipwasslitheringsoundlesslythroughwaterwhichhadnotaint，sotranslucentoverthesidethatonecouldlookfathomsdowntogrottoesofpurpleandseetheformsofvividfishflashingby。Indistantvistastheseawasagreenish-huedaquamarine，splotchedwithwine-darkstainswhereweedorcoralcoveredthefloor，andonallsidesitseemedislandswithpalmyshoresofbrilliantwhitesandjustgrewoutofitspontaneouslylikecrystalsinsilica-jungle-cladandmountainousislandsorflat，bushyislandsnotmuchhigherthanthewater。"Theflatonesarethetruecoralislands，"explainedacrewman。"Ifthey’rering-shapedandenclosealagoonthey’recalledatolls，butifthey’rejustalumpofreefrisenabovetheseathey’recalledcays。Thehillyislandsarethetopsofmountains，butthey’restillsurroundedbycoralreefs，andtheyhavelagoons。"

"Where’sMatlockIsland？"Meggieasked。

Helookedathercuriously；alonewomangoingonholidaytoahoneymoonislandlikeMatlockwasacontradictioninterms。"We’resailingdownWhitsundayPassagenow，thenweheadouttothePacificedgeofthereef。Matlock’soceansideispoundedbythebigbreakersthatcomeinforahundredmilesoffthedeepPacificlikeexpresstrains，roaringsoyoucan’thearyourselfthink。Canyouimagineridingthesamewaveforahundredmiles？"Hesighedwistfully。"We’llbeatMatlockbeforesundown，madam。"Andanhourbeforesundownthelittleshipheaveditswaythroughthebackwashofthesurfwhosespumeroselikeatoweringmistywallintotheeasternsky。Ajettyonspindlingpilesdodderedliterallyhalfamileoutacrossthereefexposedbylowtide，behinditahigh，craggycoastlinewhichdidn’tfitinwithMeggie’sexpectationsoftropicalsplendor。Anelderlymanstoodwaiting，helpedherfromshiptojetty，andtookhercasesfromacrewman。

"Howd’youdo，Mrs。O’neill，"hegreetedher。"I’mRobWalter。Hopeyourhusbandgetsthechancetocomeafterall。NottoomuchcompanyonMatlockthistimeofyear；it’sreallyawinterresort。"

Theywalkedtogetherdowntheuneasyplanking，theexposedcoralmolteninthedyingsunandthefearsomeseaareflected，tumultuousgloryofcrimsonfoam。

"Tide’sout，oryou’dhavehadaroughertrip。Seethemistintheeast？That’stheedgeoftheGreatBarrierReefitself。HereonMatlockwehangontoitbytheskinofourteeth；you’llfeeltheislandshakingallthetimefromthepoundingoutthere。"Hehelpedherintoacar。"ThisisthewindwardsideofMatlock-abitwildandunwelcomelooking，eh？Butyouwaituntilyouseetheleewardside，ah！Somethinglike，itis。"

TheyhurtledwiththecarelessspeednaturaltotheonlycaronMatlockdownanarrowroadofcrunchycoralbones，throughpalmsandthickundergrowthwithatallhillrearingtooneside，perhapsfourmilesacrosstheisland’sspine。

"Oh，howbeautiful！"saidMeggie。