第12章

E。g。，“Ouryoungpeoplearediseasedwiththetheologicalproblemsoforiginalsin，originofevil，predestination，andthelike。Theseneverpresentedapracticaldifficultytoanyman——neverdarkenedacrossanyman’sroad，whodidnotgooutofhiswaytoseekthem。Thesearethesoul’smumps，andmeasles，andwhooping-coughs，etc。Emerson：SpiritualLaws。

Thepsychologicalbasisofthetwice-borncharacterseemstobeacertaindiscordancyorheterogeneityinthenativetemperamentofthesubject，anincompletelyunifiedmoralandintellectualconstitution。

“Homoduplex，homoduplex！”writesAlphonseDaudet。“ThefirsttimethatIperceivedthatIwastwowasatthedeathofmybrotherHenri，whenmyfathercriedoutsodramatically，’Heisdead，heisdead！’Whilemyfirstselfwept，mysecondselfthought，’Howtrulygivenwasthatcry，howfineitwouldbeatthetheatre。’Iwasthenfourteenyearsold。

“Thishorribledualityhasoftengivenmematterforreflection。

Oh，thisterriblesecondme，alwaysseatedwhilsttheotherisonfoot，acting，living，suffering，bestirringitself。ThissecondmethatIhaveneverbeenabletointoxicate，tomakeshedtears，orputtosleep。Andhowitseesintothings，andhowitmocks！”[87]

[87]NotessurlaVie，p。1。

Recentworksonthepsychologyofcharacterhavehadmuchtosayuponthispoint。[88]Somepersonsarebornwithaninnerconstitutionwhichisharmoniousandwellbalancedfromtheoutset。Theirimpulsesareconsistentwithoneanother，theirwillfollowswithouttroubletheguidanceoftheirintellect，theirpassionsarenotexcessive，andtheirlivesarelittlehauntedbyregrets。Othersareoppositelyconstituted；andaresoindegreeswhichmayvaryfromsomethingsoslightastoresultinamerelyoddorwhimsicalinconsistency，toadiscordancyofwhichtheconsequencesmaybeinconvenientintheextreme。OfthemoreinnocentkindsofheterogeneityIfindagoodexampleinMrs。AnnieBesant’sautobiography。

[88]See，forexample，F。Paulhan，inhisbookLesCaracteres，1894，whocontrastslesEquilibres，lesUnifies，withlesInquiets，lesContrariants，lesIncoherents，lesEmiettes，assomanydiversepsychictypes。

“Ihaveeverbeenthequeerestmixtureofweaknessandstrength，andhavepaidheavilyfortheweakness。AsachildIusedtosuffertorturesofshyness，andifmyshoe-lacewasuntiedwouldfeelshamefacedlythateveryeyewasfixedontheunluckystring；

asagirlIwouldshrinkawayfromstrangersandthinkmyselfunwantedandunliked，sothatIwasfullofeagergratitudetoanyonewhonoticedmekindly，astheyoungmistressofahouseI

wasafraidofmyservants，andwouldletcarelessworkpassratherthanbearthepainofreprovingtheill-doer；whenIhavebeenlecturinganddebatingwithnolackofspiritontheplatform，IhavepreferredtogowithoutwhatIwantedatthehotelratherthantoringandmakethewaiterfetchit。

CombativeontheplatformindefenseofanycauseIcaredfor，I

shrinkfromquarrelordisapprovalinthehouse，andamacowardatheartinprivatewhileagoodfighterinpublic。HowoftenhaveIpassedunhappyquartersofanhourscrewingupmycouragetofindfaultwithsomesubordinatewhommydutycompelledmetoreprove，andhowoftenhaveIjeeredmyselfforafraudasthedoughtyplatformcombatant，whenshrinkingfromblamingsomeladorlassfordoingtheirworkbadly。Anunkindlookorwordhasavailedtomakemeshrinkintomyselfasasnailintoitsshell，while，ontheplatform，oppositionmakesmespeakmybest。”[89]

[89]AnnieBesant：anAutobiography，p。82。

Thisamountofinconsistencywillonlycountasamiableweakness；

butastrongerdegreeofheterogeneitymaymakehavocofthesubject’slife。Therearepersonswhoseexistenceislittlemorethanaseriesofzig-zags，asnowonetendencyandnowanothergetstheupperhand。Theirspiritwarswiththeirflesh，theywishforincompatibles，waywardimpulsesinterrupttheirmostdeliberateplans，andtheirlivesareonelongdramaofrepentanceandofefforttorepairmisdemeanorsandmistakes。

Heterogeneouspersonalityhasbeenexplainedastheresultofinheritance——thetraitsofcharacterofincompatibleandantagonisticancestorsaresupposedtobepreservedalongsideofeachother。[90]Thisexplanationmaypassforwhatitisworth——itcertainlyneedscorroboration。Butwhateverthecauseofheterogeneouspersonalitymaybe，wefindtheextremeexamplesofitinthepsychopathictemperament，ofwhichIspokeinmyfirstlecture。Allwritersaboutthattemperamentmaketheinnerheterogeneityprominentintheirdescriptions。Frequently，indeed，itisonlythistraitthatleadsustoascribethattemperamenttoamanatall。A“degeneresuperieur“issimplyamanofsensibilityinmanydirections，whofindsmoredifficultythaniscommoninkeeping<167>hisspiritualhouseinorderandrunninghisfurrowstraight，becausehisfeelingsandimpulsesaretookeenandtoodiscrepantmutually。Inthehauntingandinsistentideas，intheirrationalimpulses，themorbidscruples，dreads，andinhibitionswhichbesetthepsychopathictemperamentwhenitisthoroughlypronounced，wehaveexquisiteexamplesofheterogeneouspersonality。Bunyanhadanobsessionofthewords，“SellChristforthis，sellhimforthat，sellhim，sellhim！”

whichwouldrunthroughhismindahundredtimestogether，untilonedayoutofbreathwithretorting，“Iwillnot，Iwillnot。”

heimpulsivelysaid，“Lethimgoifhewill。”andthislossofthebattlekepthimindespairforoverayear。Thelivesofthesaintsarefullofsuchblasphemousobsessions，ascribedinvariablytothedirectagencyofSatan。Thephenomenonconnectsitselfwiththelifeofthesubconsciousself，so-called，ofwhichwemusterelongspeakmoredirectly。

[90]SmithBaker，inJournalofNervousandMentalDiseases，September，1893。

Nowinallofus，howeverconstituted，buttoadegreethegreaterinproportionasweareintenseandsensitiveandsubjecttodiversifiedtemptations，andtothegreatestpossibledegreeifwearedecidedlypsychopathic，doesthenormalevolutionofcharacterchieflyconsistinthestraighteningoutandunifyingoftheinnerself。Thehigherandthelowerfeelings，theusefulandtheerringimpulses，beginbybeingacomparativechaoswithinus——theymustendbyformingastablesystemoffunctionsinrightsubordination。Unhappinessisapttocharacterizetheperiodoforder-makingandstruggle。Iftheindividualbeoftenderconscienceandreligiouslyquickened，theunhappinesswilltaketheformofmoralremorseandcompunction，offeelinginwardlyvileandwrong，andofstandinginfalserelationstotheauthorofone’sbeingandappointerofone’sspiritualfate。

Thisisthereligiousmelancholyand“convictionofsin“thathaveplayedsolargeapartinthehistoryofProtestantChristianity。Theman’sinteriorisabattle-groundforwhathefeelstobetwodeadlyhostileselves，oneactual，theotherideal。AsVictorHugomakeshisMahometsay：——

“Jesuislechampvildessublimescombats：

Tantotl’hommed’enhaut，ettantotl’hommed’enbas；

Etlemaldansmaboucheaveclebienalterne，Commedansledesertlesableetlaciterne。”

Wrongliving，impotentaspirations；“WhatIwould，thatdoInot；

butwhatIhate，thatdoI。”asSaintPaulsays；self-loathing，self-despair；anunintelligibleandintolerableburdentowhichoneismysteriouslytheheir。

Letmequotefromsometypicalcasesofdiscordantpersonality，withmelancholyintheformofself-condemnationandsenseofsin。SaintAugustine’scaseisaclassicexample。Youallrememberhishalf-pagan，half-ChristianbringingupatCarthage，hisemigrationtoRomeandMilan，hisadoptionofManicheismandsubsequentskepticism，andhisrestlesssearchfortruthandpurityoflife；andfinallyhow，distractedbythestrugglebetweenthetwosoulsinhisbreastandashamedofhisownweaknessofwill，whensomanyotherswhomheknewandknewofhadthrownofftheshacklesofsensualityanddedicatedthemselvestochastityandthehigherlife，heheardavoiceinthegardensay，“Sume，lege“(takeandread)，andopeningtheBibleatrandom，sawthetext，“notinchamberingandwantonness。”etc。，whichseemeddirectlysenttohisaddress，andlaidtheinnerstormtorestforever。[91]Augustine’spsychologicalgeniushasgivenanaccountofthetroubleofhavingadividedselfwhichhasneverbeensurpassed。

[91]LouisGourdon(EssaisurlaConversiondeSaintAugustine，Paris，Fischbacher，1900)hasshownbyananalysisofAugustine’swritingsimmediatelyafterthedateofhisconversion(A。D。386)

thattheaccounthegivesintheConfessionsispremature。Thecrisisinthegardenmarkedadefinitiveconversionfromhisformerlife，butitwastotheneo-platonicspiritualismandonlyahalfwaystagetowardChristianity。Thelatterheappearsnotfullyandradicallytohaveembraceduntilfouryearsmorehadpassed。

“ThenewwillwhichIbegantohavewasnotyetstrongenoughtoovercomethatotherwill，strengthenedbylongindulgence。Sothesetwowills，oneold，onenew，onecarnal，theotherspiritual，contendedwitheachotheranddisturbedmysoul。I

understoodbymyownexperiencewhatIhadread，’fleshlustethagainstspirit，andspiritagainstflesh。’Itwasmyselfindeedinboththewills，yetmoremyselfinthatwhichIapprovedinmyselfthaninthatwhichIdisapprovedinmyself。Yetitwasthroughmyselfthathabithadattainedsofierceamasteryoverme，becauseIhadwillinglycomewhitherIwillednot。Stillboundtoearth，Irefused，OGod，tofightonthyside，asmuchafraidtobefreedfromallbonds，asIoughttohavefearedbeingtrammeledbythem。

“ThusthethoughtsbywhichImeditatedupontheewereliketheeffortsofonewhowouldawake，butbeingoverpoweredwithsleepinessissoonasleepagain。Oftendoesamanwhenheavysleepinessisonhislimbsdefertoshakeitoff，andthoughnotapprovingit，encourageit；evensoIwassureitwasbettertosurrendertothylovethantoyieldtomyownlusts，yetthoughtheformercourseconvincedme，thelatterpleasedandheldmebound。Therewasnaughtinmetoanswerthycall’Awake，thousleeper，’butonlydrawling，drowsywords，’Presently；yes，presently；waitalittlewhile。’Butthe’presently’hadno’present，’andthe’littlewhile’grewlong……ForIwasafraidthouwouldsthearmetoosoon，andhealmeatonceofmydiseaseoflust，whichIwishedtosatiateratherthantoseeextinguished。WithwhatlashesofwordsdidInotscourgemyownsoul。Yetitshrankback；itrefused，thoughithadnoexcusetooffer……Isaidwithinmyself：’Come，letitbedonenow，’

andasIsaidit，Iwasonthepointoftheresolve。Iallbutdidit，yetIdidnotdoit。AndImadeanothereffort，andalmostsucceeded，yetIdidnotreachit，anddidnotgraspit，hesitatingtodietodeath，andlivetolife，andtheeviltowhichIwassowontedheldmemorethanthebetterlifeIhadnottried。”

Therecouldbenomoreperfectdescriptionofthedividedwill，whenthehigherwisheslackjustthatlastacuteness，thattouchofexplosiveintensity，ofdynamogenicquality(tousetheslangofthepsychologists)，thatenablesthemtobursttheirshell，andmakeirruptionefficaciouslyintolifeandquellthelowertendenciesforever。Inalaterlectureweshallhavemuchtosayaboutthishigherexcitability。

IfindanothergooddescriptionofthedividedwillintheautobiographyofHenryAlline，theNovaScotianevangelist，ofwhosemelancholyIreadabriefaccountinmylastlecture。Thepooryouth’ssinswere，asyouwillsee，ofthemostharmlessorder，yettheyinterferedwithwhatprovedtobehistruestvocation，sotheygavehimgreatdistress。

“Iwasnowverymoralinmylife，butfoundnorestofconscience。Inowbegantobeesteemedinyoungcompany，whoknewnothingofmymindallthiswhile，andtheiresteembegantobeasnaretomysoul，forIsoonbegantobefondofcarnalmirth，thoughIstillflatteredmyselfthatifIdidnotgetdrunk，norcurse，norswear，therewouldbenosininfrolickingandcarnalmirth，andIthoughtGodwouldindulgeyoungpeoplewithsome(whatIcalledsimpleorcivil)recreation。Istillkeptaroundofduties，andwouldnotsuffermyselftorunintoanyopenvices，andsogotalongverywellintimeofhealthandprosperity，butwhenIwasdistressedorthreatenedbysickness，death，orheavystormsofthunder，myreligionwouldnotdo，andIfoundtherewassomethingwanting，andwouldbegintorepentmygoingsomuchtofrolics，butwhenthedistresswasover，thedevilandmyownwickedheart，withthesolicitationsofmyassociates，andmyfondnessforyoungcompany，weresuchstrongallurements，Iwouldagaingiveway，andthusIgottobeverywildandrude，atthesametimekeptupmyroundsofsecretprayerandreading；butGod，notwillingIshoulddestroymyself，stillfollowedmewithhiscalls，andmovedwithsuchpoweruponmyconscience，thatIcouldnotsatisfymyselfwithmydiversions，andinthemidstofmymirthsometimeswouldhavesuchasenseofmylostandundonecondition，thatIwouldwishmyselffromthecompany，andafteritwasover，whenIwenthome，wouldmakemanypromisesthatIwouldattendnomoreonthesefrolics，andwouldbegforgivenessforhoursandhours；butwhenIcametohavethetemptationagain，Iwouldgiveway：nosoonerwouldIhearthemusicanddrinkaglassofwine，butI

wouldfindmymindelevatedandsoonproceedtoanysortofmerrimentordiversion，thatIthoughtwasnotdebauchedoropenlyvicious；butwhenIreturnedfrommycarnalmirthIfeltasguiltyasever，andcouldsometimesnotclosemyeyesforsomehoursafterIhadgonetomybed。Iwasoneofthemostunhappycreaturesonearth。