第2章

`Idon’tknowwhatwouldhavehappened，Walter，’saidmymother，`ifyouhaddelayedmuchlonger。Pescahasbeenhalfmadwithimpatience，andIhavebeenhalfmadwithcuriosity。TheProfessorhasbroughtsomewonderfulnewswithhim，inwhichhesaysyouareconcerned；andhehascruellyrefusedtogiveusthesmallesthintofittillhisfriendWalterappeared。’

’Veryprovoking：itspoilstheSet，’murmuredSarahtoherself，mournfullyabsorbedovertheruinsofthebrokencup。

Whilethesewordswerebeingspoken，Pesca，happilyandfussilyunconsciousoftheirreparablewrongwhichthecrockeryhadsufferedathishands，wasdraggingalargearmchairtotheoppositeendoftheroom，soastocommandusallthree，inthecharacterofapublicspeakeraddressinganaudience。Havingturnedthechairwithitsbacktowardsus，hejumpedintoitonhisknees，andexcitedlyaddressedhissmallcongregationofthreefromanimpromptupulpit。

`Now，mygooddears，’beganPesca(whoalwayssaid`gooddears’whenhemeant`worthyfriends’)，`listentome。Thetimehascome——Irecitemygoodnews——Ispeakatlast。’

`Hear，hear！’saidmymother，humouringthejoke。

`Thenextthinghewillbreak，mamma，’whisperedSarah，`willbethebackofthebestarmchair。’

`Igobackintomylife，andIaddressmyselftothenoblestofcreatedbeings，’continuedPesca，vehementlyapostrophisingmyunworthyselfoverthetoprailofthechair。`Whofoundmedeadatthebottomofthesea(throughCramp)；andwhopulledmeuptothetop；andwhatdidIsaywhenIgotintomyownlifeandmyownclothesagain？’

`Muchmorethanwasatallnecessary，’Iansweredasdoggedlyaspossible；

fortheleastencouragementinconnectionwiththissubjectinvariablyletloosetheProfessor’semotionsinafloodoftears。

`lsaid，’persistedPesca，`thatmylifebelongedtomydearfriend，Walter，fortherestofmydays——andsoitdoes。IsaidthatIshouldneverbehappyagaintillIhadfoundtheopportunityofdoingagoodSomethingforWalter——andIhaveneverbeencontentedwithmyselftillthismostblessedday。Now，’criedtheenthusiasticlittlemanatthetopofhisvoice，`theoverflowinghappinessburstsoutofmeateveryporeofmyskin，likeaperspiration；foronmyfaith，andsoul，andhonour，thesomethingisdoneatlast，andtheonlywordtosaynowis——Right-all-right！’

ItmaybenecessarytoexplainherethatPescapridedhimselfonbeingaperfectEnglishmaninhislanguage，aswellasinhisdress，manners，andamusements。Havingpickedupafewofourmostfamiliarcolloquialexpressions，hescatteredthemaboutoverhisconversationwhenevertheyhappenedtooccurtohim，turningthem，inhishighrelishfortheirsoundandhisgeneralignoranceoftheirsense，intocompoundwordsandrepetitionsofhisown，andalwaysrunningthemintoeachother，asiftheyconsistedofonelongsyllable。

`AmongthefineLondonHouseswhereIteachthelanguageofmynativecountry，’saidtheProfessor，rushingintohislong-deferredexplanationwithoutanotherwordofpreface，`thereisone，mightyfine，inthebigplacecalledPortland。Youallknowwherethatis？Yes，yes——course-of-course。

Thefinehouse，mygooddears，hasgotinsideitafinefamily。AMamma，fairandfat；threeyoungMisses，fairandfat；twoyoungMisters，fairandfat；andaPapa，thefairestandthefattestofall，whoisamightymerchant，uptohiseyesingold——afinemanonce，butseeingthathehasgotanakedheadandtwochins，finenolongeratthepresenttime。

Nowmind！IteachthesublimeDantetotheyoungMisses，andah！——my-soul-bless-my-soul！——

itisnotinhumanlanguagetosayhowthesublimeDantepuzzledtheprettyheadsofallthree！Nomatter——allingoodtime——andthemorelessonsthebetterforme。Nowmind！ImaginetoyourselvesthatIamteachingtheyoungMissestoday，asusual。WeareallfourofusdowntogetherintheHellofDante。AttheSeventhCircle——butnomatterforthat：alltheCirclesarealiketothethreeyoungMisses，fairandfat，——attheSeventhCircle，nevertheless，mypupilsarestickingfast；andI，tosetthemgoingagain，recite，explain，andblowmyselfupred-hotwithuselessenthusiasm，when——acreakofbootsinthepassageoutside，andincomesthegoldenPapa，themightymerchantwiththenakedheadandthetwochins——

Ha！mygooddears，Iamcloserthanyouthinkfortothebusiness，now。

Haveyoubeenpatientsofar？orhaveyousaidtoyourselves，``Deuce-what-the-deuce！

Pescaislong-windedtonight？’’’

Wedeclaredthatweweredeeplyinterested。TheProfessorwenton：

`Inhishand，thegoldenPapahasaletter；andafterhehasmadehisexcusefordisturbingusinourInfernalRegionwiththecommonmortalBusinessofthehouse，headdresseshimselftothethreeyoungMisses，andbegins，asyouEnglishbegineverythinginthisblessedworldthatyouhavetosay，withagreatO。``O，mydears，’’saysthemightymerchant，``Ihavegotherealetterfrommyfriend，Mr——’’(thenamehasslippedoutofmymind；butnomatter；weshallcomebacktothat；yes，yes——

right-all-right)。SothePapasays，``Ihavegotaletterfrommyfriend，theMister；andhewantsarecommendfromme，ofadrawing-master，togodowntohishouseinthecountry。’’My-soul-bless-my-soul！whenIheardthegoldenPapasaythosewords，ifIhadbeenbigenoughtoreachuptohim，Ishouldhaveputmyarmsroundhisneck，andpressedhimtomybosominalongandgratefulhug！Asitwas，Ionlybounceduponmychair。Myseatwasonthorns，andmysoulwasonfiretospeak；butIheldmytongue，andletPapagoon。``Perhapsyouknow，’’saysthisgoodmanofmoney，twiddlinghisfriend’sletterthiswayandthat，inhisgoldenfingersandthumbs，``perhapsyouknow，mydears，ofadrawing-masterthatIcanrecommend？’’ThethreeyoungMissesalllookateachother，andthensay(withtheindispensablegreatOtobegin)``O，dearno，Papa！ButhereisMrPesca——’’AtthementionofmyselfIcanholdnolonger——thethoughtofyou，mygooddears，mountslikebloodtomyhead——Istartfrommyseat，asifaspikehadgrownupfromthegroundthroughthebottomofmychair——Iaddressmyselftothemightymerchant，andIsay(Englishphrase)，``Dearsir，Ihavetheman！Thefirstandforemostdrawing-masteroftheworld！Recommendhimbytheposttonight，andsendhimoff，bagandbaggage(Englishphraseagain——ha！)，sendhimoff，bagandbaggage，bythetraintomorrow！’’``Stop，stop，’’saysPapa；``isheaforeigner，oranEnglishman？’’``Englishtotheboneofhishack，’’Ianswer。``Respectable？’’

saysPapa。``Sir，’’Isay(forthislastquestionofhisoutragesme，andIhavedonebeingfamiliarwithhim)——``Sir！theimmortalfireofgeniusburnsinthisEnglishman’sbosom，and，whatismore，hisfatherhaditbeforehim！’’``Nevermind，’’saysthegoldenbarbarianofaPapa，``nevermindabouthisgenius，Mr。Pesca。Wedon’twantgeniusinthiscountry，unlessitisaccompaniedbyrespectability——andthenweareverygladtohaveit，verygladindeed。Canyourfriendproducetestimonials——lettersthatspeaktohischaracter？’’Iwavemyhandnegligently。``Letters？’’

Isay。``Ha！my-soul-bless-my-soul！Ishouldthinkso，indeed！Volumesoflettersandportfoliosoftestimonials，ifyoulike！’’``Oneortwowilldo，’’saysthismanofphlegmandmoney。``Lethimsendthemtome，withhisnameandaddress。And——stop，stop，MrPesca——beforeyougotoyourfriend，youhadbettertakeanote。’’``Bank-note！’’Isay，indignantly。

``Nobank-note，ifyouplease，tillmybraveEnglishmanhasearneditfirst。’’

``Bank-note！’’saysPapa，inagreatsurprise，``whotalkedofbank-note？

Imeananoteoftheterms——amemorandumofwhatheisexpectedtodo。

Goonwithyourlesson，MrPesca，andIwillgiveyouthenecessaryextractfrommyfriend’sletter。’’Downsitsthemanofmerchandiseandmoneytohispen，ink，andpaper；anddownIgoonceagainintotheHellofDante，withmythreeyoungMissesafterme。Intenminutes’timethenoteiswritten，andthebootsofPapaarecreakingthemselvesawayinthepassageoutside。

Fromthatmoment，onmyfaith，andsoul，andhonour，Iknownothingmore！

ThegloriousthoughtthatIhavecaughtmyopportunityatlast，andthatmygratefulserviceformydearestfriendintheworldisasgoodasdonealready，fliesupintomyheadandmakesmedrunk。HowIpullmyyoungMissesandmyselfoutofourInfernalRegionagain，howmyotherbusinessisdoneafterwards，howmylittlebitofdinnerslidesitselfdownmythroat，Iknownomorethanamaninthemoon。Enoughforme，thathereIam，withthemightymerchant’snoteinmyhand，aslargeaslife，ashotasfire，andashappyasaking！Ha！ha！ha！right-right-right-all-right！’HeretheProfessorwavedthememorandumoftermsoverhishead，andendedhislongandvolublenarrativewithhisshrillItalianparodyonanEnglishcheer。

Mymotherrosethemomenthehaddone，withflushedcheeksandbrightenedeyes。Shecaughtthelittlemanwarmlybybothhands。

`Mydear，goodPesca，’shesaid，`IneverdoubtedyourtrueaffectionforWalter——butIammorethaneverpersuadedofitnow！’

`IamsureweareverymuchobligedtoProfessorPesca，forWalter’ssake，’addedSarah。Shehalfrose，whileshespoke，asiftoapproachthearmchair，inherturn；but，observingthatPescawasrapturouslykissingmymother’shands，lookedserious，andresumedherseat。`Ifthefamiliarlittlemantreatsmymotherinthatway，howwillhetreatme？’Facessometimestelltruth；andthatwasunquestionablythethoughtinSarah’smind，asshesatdownagain。

AlthoughImyselfwasgratefullysensibleofthekindnessofPesca’smotives，myspiritswerehardlysomuchelevatedastheyoughttohavebeenbytheprospectoffutureemploymentnowplacedbeforeme。WhentheProfessorhadquitedonewithmymother’shand，andwhenIhadwarmlythankedhimforhisinterferenceonmybehalf，Iaskedtobeallowedtolookatthenoteoftermswhichhisrespectablepatronhaddrawnupformyinspection。

Pescahandedmethepaper，withatriumphantflourishofthehand。

`Read！’saidthelittlemanmajestically。`Ipromiseyou，myfriend，thewritingofthegoldenPapaspeakswithatongueoftrumpetsforitself。’

Thenoteoftermswasplain，straightforward，andcomprehensive，atanyrate。Itinformedme，First，ThatFrederickFairlie，Esquire，ofLimmeridgeHouse，Cumberland，wantedtoengagetheservicesofathoroughlycompetentdrawing-master，foraperiodoffourmonthscertain。

Secondly，Thatthedutieswhichthemasterwasexpectedtoperformwouldbeofatwofoldkind。Hewastosuperintendtheinstructionoftwoyoungladiesintheartofpaintinginwatercolours；andhewastodevotehisleisuretime，afterwards，tothebusinessofrepairingandmountingavaluablecollectionofdrawings，whichhadbeensufferedtofallintoaconditionoftotalneglect。

Thirdly，Thatthetermsofferedtothepersonwhoshouldundertakeandproperlyperformthesedutieswerefourguineasaweek；thathewastoresideatLimmeridgeHouse；andthathewastobetreatedthereonthefootingofagentleman。