第3章

Fourthly，andlastly，Thatnopersonneedthinkofapplyingforthissituationunlesshecouldfurnishthemostunexceptionablereferencestocharacterandabilities。ThereferencesweretobesenttoMrFairlie’sfriendinLondon，whowasempoweredtoconcludeallnecessaryarrangements。

TheseinstructionswerefollowedbythenameandaddressofPesca’semployerinPortlandPlace——andtherethenote，ormemorandum，ended。

Theprospectwhichthisofferofanengagementheldoutwascertainlyanattractiveone。Theemploymentwaslikelytobebotheasyandagreeable；

itwasproposedtomeattheautumntimeoftheyearwhenIwasleastoccupied；

andtheterms，judgingbymypersonalexperienceinmyprofession，weresurprisinglyliberal。Iknewthis；IknewthatIoughttoconsidermyselfveryfortunateifIsucceededinsecuringtheofferedemployment——andyet，nosoonerhadIreadthememorandumthanIfeltaninexplicableunwillingnesswithinmetostirinthematter。IhadneverinthewholeofmypreviousexperiencefoundmydutyandmyinclinationsopainfullyandsounaccountablyatvarianceasIfoundthemnow。

`Oh，Walter，yourfatherneverhadsuchachanceasthis！’saidmymother，whenshehadreadthenoteoftermsandhadhandeditbacktome。

`Suchdistinguishedpeopletoknow，’remarkedSarah，straighteningherselfinthechair；`andonsuchgratifyingtermsofequalitytoo！’

`Yes，yes；theterms，ineverysense，aretemptingenough，’Irepliedimpatiently。`ButbeforeIsendinmytestimonials，Ishouldlikealittletimetoconsider——’

`Consider！’exclaimedmymother。`Why，Walter，whatisthematterwithyou？’

`Consider！’echoedmysister。`Whataveryextraordinarythingtosay，underthecircumstances！’

`Consider！’chimedintheProfessor。`Whatistheretoconsiderabout？

Answermethis！Haveyounotbeencomplainingofyourhealth，andhaveyounotbeenlongingforwhatyoucallasmackofthecountrybreeze？Well！

thereinyourhandisthepaperthatoffersyouperpetualchokingmouthfulsofcountrybreezeforfourmonths’time。Isitnotso？Ha！Again——youwantmoney。Well！Isfourgoldenguineasaweeknothing？My-soul-bless-my-soul！

onlygiveittome——andmybootsshallcreaklikethegoldenPapa’s，withasenseoftheoverpoweringrichnessofthemanwhowalksinthem！

Fourguineasaweek，and，morethanthat，thecharmingsocietyoftwoyoungmisses！and，morethanthat，yourbed，yourbreakfast，yourdinner，yourgorgingEnglishteasandlunchesanddrinksoffoamingbeer，allfornothing——why，Walter，mydeargoodfriend——deuce-what-the-deuce！——forthefirsttimeinmylifeIhavenoteyesenoughinmyheadtolook，andwonderatyou！’

Neithermymother’sevidentastonishmentatmybehaviour，norPesca’sfervidenumerationoftheadvantagesofferedtomebythenewemployment，hadanyeffectinshakingmyunreasonabledisinclinationtogotoLimmeridgeHouse。AfterstartingallthepettyobjectionsthatIcouldthinkoftogoingtoCumberland，andafterhearingthemanswered，oneafteranother，tomyowncompletediscomfiture，ItriedtosetupalastobstaclebyaskingwhatwastobecomeofmypupilsinLondonwhileIwasteachingMrFairlie’syoungladiestosketchfromnature。Theobviousanswertothiswas，thatthegreaterpartofthemwouldbeawayontheirautumntravels，andthatthefewwhoremainedathomemightbeconfidedtothecareofoneofmybrotherdrawing-masters，whosepupilsIhadoncetakenoffhishandsundersimilarcircumstances。Mysisterremindedmethatthisgentlemanhadexpresslyplacedhisservicesatmydisposal，duringthepresentseason，incaseIwishedtoleavetom；mymotherseriouslyappealedtomenottoletanidlecapricestandinthewayofmyowninterestsandmyownhealth；andPescapiteouslyentreatedthatIwouldnotwoundhimtotheheartbyrejectingthefirstgratefulofferofservicethathehadbeenabletomaketothefriendwhohadsavedhislife。

Theevidentsincerityandaffectionwhichinspiredtheseremonstranceswouldhaveinfluencedanymanwithanatomofgoodfeelinginhiscomposition。

ThoughIcouldnotconquermyownunaccountableperversity，Ihadatleastvirtueenoughtobeheartilyashamedofit，andtoendthediscussionpleasantlybygivingway，andpromisingtodoallthatwaswantedofme。

TherestoftheeveningpassedmerrilyenoughinhumorousanticipationsofmycominglifewiththetwoyoungladiesinCumberland。Pesca，inspiredbyournationalgrog，whichappearedtogetintohishead，inthemostmarvellousmanner，fiveminutesafterithadgonedownhisthroat，assertedhisclaimstobeconsideredacompleteEnglishmanbymakingaseriesofspeechesinrapidsuccession，proposingmymother’shealth，mysister’shealth，myhealth，andthehealths，inmass，ofMrFairlieandthetwoyoungMisses，patheticallyreturningthankshimself，immediatelyafterwards，forthewholeparty。`Asecret，Walter，’saidmylittlefriendconfidentially，aswewalkedhometogether。`Iamflushedbytherecollectionofmyowneloquence。Mysoulburstsitselfwithambition。OneofthesedaysIgointoyournobleParliament。ItisthedreamofmywholelifetobeHonourablePesca，M。P。！’

ThenextmorningIsentmytestimonialstotheprofessor’semployerinPortlandPlace。Threedayspassed，andIconcluded，withsecretsatisfaction，thatmypapershadnotbeenfoundsufficientlyexplicit。Onthefourthday，however，ananswercame。ItannouncedthatMrFairlieacceptedmyservices，andrequestedmetostartforCumberlandimmediately。Allthenecessaryinstructionsformyjourneywerecarefullyandclearlyaddedinapostscript。

Imademyarrangements，unwillinglyenough，forleavingLondonearlythenextday。TowardseveningPescalookedin，onhiswaytoadinner-party，tobidmegood-bye。

`Ishalldrymytearsinyourabsence，’saidtheProfessorgaily，`withthisgloriousthought。Itismyauspicioushandthathasgiventhefirstpushtoyourfortuneintheworld。Go，myfriend！WhenyoursunshinesinCumberland(Englishproverb)，inthenameofheavenmakeyourhay。MarryoneofthetwoyoungMisses；becomeHonourableHartright，M。P。；andwhenyouareonthetopoftheladderrememberthatPesca，atthebottom，hasdoneitall！’

Itriedtolaughwithmylittlefriendoverhispartingjest，butmyspiritswerenottobecommanded。Somethingjarredinmealmostpainfullywhilehewasspeakinghislightfarewellwords。

WhenIwasleftaloneagainnothingremainedtobedonebuttowalktotheHampsteadcottageandbidmymotherandSarahgood-bye。IIITheheathadbeenpainfullyoppressiveallday，anditwasnowacloseandsultrynight。

Mymotherandsisterhadspokensomanylastwords，andhadbeggedmetowaitanotherfiveminutessomanytimes，thatitwasnearlymidnightwhentheservantlockedthegarden-gatebehindme。IwalkedforwardafewpacesontheshortestwaybacktoLondon，thenstoppedandhesitated。

Themoonwasfullandbroadinthedarkbluestarlesssky，andthebrokengroundoftheheathlookedwildenoughinthemysteriouslighttobehundredsofmilesawayfromthegreatcitythatlaybeneathit。TheideaofdescendinganysoonerthanIcouldhelpintotheheatandgloomofLondonrepelledme。Theprospectofgoingtobedinmyairlesschambers，andtheprospectofgradualsuffocation，seemed，inmypresentrestlessframeofmindandbody，tobeoneandthesamething。IdeterminedtostrollhomeinthepurerairbythemostroundaboutwayIcouldtake；tofollowthewhitewindingpathsacrossthelonelyheath；andtoapproachLondonthroughitsmostopensuburbbystrikingintotheFinchleyRoad，andsogettingback，inthecoolofthenewmorning，bythewesternsideoftheRegent’sPark。

Iwoundmywaydownslowlyovertheheath，enjoyingthedivinestillnessofthescene，andadmiringthesoftalternationsoflightandshadeastheyfollowedeachotheroverthebrokengroundoneverysideofme。SolongasIwasproceedingthroughthisfistandprettiestpartofmynightwalkmymindremainedpassivelyopentotheimpressionsproducedbytheview；andIthoughtbutlittleonanysubject——indeed，sofarasmyownsensationswereconcerned，IcanhardlysaythatIthoughtatall。

ButwhenIhadlefttheheathandhadturnedintotheby-road，wheretherewaslesstosee，theideasnaturallyengenderedbytheapproachingchangeinmyhabitsandoccupationsgraduallydrewmoreandmoreofmyattentionexclusivelytothemselves。BythetimeIhadarrivedattheendoftheroadIhadbecomecompletelyabsorbedinmyownfancifulvisionsofLimmeridgeHouse，ofMrFairlie，andofthetwoladieswhosepracticeintheartofwater-colourpaintingIwassosoontosuperintend。

Ihadnowarrivedatthatparticularpointofmywalkwherefourroadsmet——theroadtoHampstead，alongwhichIhadreturned，theroadtoFinchley，theroadtoWestEnd，andtheroadbacktoLondon。Ihadmechanicallyturnedinthislatterdirection，andwasstrollingalongthelonelyhigh-road——idlywondering，Iremember，whattheCumberlandyoungladieswouldlooklike——when，inonemoment，everydropofbloodinmybodywasbroughttoastopbythetouchofahandlaidlightlyandsuddenlyonmyshoulderfrombehindme。

Iturnedontheinstant，withmyfingerstighteningroundthehandleofmystick。

There，inthemiddleofthebroad，brighthigh-road——there，asIfithadthatmomentsprungoutoftheearthordroppedfromtheheaven——

stoodthefigureofasolitaryWoman，dressedfromheadtofootinwhitegarments，herfacebentingraveinquiryonmine，herhandpointingtothedarkcloudoverLondon，asIfacedher。

Iwasfartooseriouslystartledbythesuddennesswithwhichthisextraordinaryapparitionstoodbeforeme，inthedeadofnightandinthatlonelyplace，toaskwhatshewanted。Thestrangewomanspokefirst。

`IsthattheroadtoLondon？’shesaid。

Ilookedattentivelyather，assheputthatsingularquestiontome。

Itwasthennearlyoneo’clock。AllIcoulddiscerndistinctlybythemoonlightwasacolourless，youthfulface，meagreandsharptolookataboutthecheeksandchin；large，grave，wistfullyattentiveeyes；nervous，uncertainlips；andlighthairofapale，brownish-yellowhue。Therewasnothingwild，nothingimmodestinhermanner：itwasquietandself-controlled，alittlemelancholyandalittletouchedbysuspicion；notexactlythemannerofalady，and，atthesametime，notthemannerofawomaninthehumblestrankoflife。Thevoice，littleasIhadyetheardofit，hadsomethingcuriouslystillandmechanicalinitstones，andtheutterancewasremarkablyrapid。Sheheldasmallbaginherhand：andherdress