第13章

fromthispositionofhelplessnessandhumiliationIwasrescuedbyMissHalcombe。Herlipstoldmethebitter，thenecessary，theunexpectedtruth；herheartykindnesssustainedmeundertheshockofhearingit；

hersenseandcourageturnedtoitsrightuseaneventwhichthreatenedtheworstthatcouldhappen，tomeandtoothers，inLimmeridgeHouse。IXItwasonaThursdayintheweek，andnearlyattheendofthethirdmonthofmysojourninCumberland。

Inthemorning，whenIwentdownintothebreakfast-roomattheusualhour，MissHalcombe，forthefirsttimesinceIhadknownher，wasabsentfromhercustomaryplaceatthetable。

MissFairliewasoutonthelawn。Shebowedtome，butdidnotcomein。Notawordhaddroppedfrommylips，orfromhers，thatcouldunsettleeitherofus——andyetthesameunacknowledgedsenseofembarrassmentmadeusshrinkalikefrommeetingoneanotheralone。Shewaitedonthelawn，andIwaitedinthebreakfast-room，tillMrsVeseyorMissHalcombecamein。HowquicklyIshouldhavejoinedher：howreadilyweshouldhaveshakenhands，andglidedintoourcustomarytalk，onlyafortnightago。

InafewminutesMissHalcombeentered。Shehadapreoccupiedlook，andshemadeherapologiesforbeinglateratherabsently。

`Ihavebeendetained，’shesaid。`byaconsultationwithMrFairlieonadomesticmatterwhichhewishedtospeaktomeabout。’

MissFairliecameinfromthegarden，andtheusualmorninggreetingpassedbetweenus。Herhandstruckcoldertominethanever。Shedidnotlookatme，andshewasverypale。EvenMrsVeseynoticedwhensheenteredtheroomamomentafter。

`Isupposeitisthechangeinthewind，’saidtheoldlady。`Thewinteriscoming——ah，mylove，thewinteriscomingsoon！’

Inherheartandinmineithadcomealready！

Ourmorningmeal——oncesofullofpleasantgood-humoureddiscussionoftheplansfortheday——wasshortandsilent。MissFairlieseemedtofeeltheoppressionofthelongpausesintheconversation，andlookedappealinglytohersistertofillthemup。MissHalcombe，afteronceortwicehesitatingandcheckingherself，inamostuncharacteristicmanner，spokeatlast。

`Ihaveseenyourunclethismorning，Laura，’shesaid。`Hethinksthepurpleroomistheonethatoughttobegotready，andheconfirmswhatItoldyou。Mondayistheday——notTuesday。’

WhilethesewordswerebeingspokenMissFairlielookeddownatthetablebeneathher。Herfingersmovednervouslyamongthecrumbsthatwerescatteredonthecloth。Thepalenessonhercheeksspreadtoherlips，andthelipsthemselvestrembledvisibly。Iwasnottheonlypersonpresentwhonoticedthis。MissHalcombesawit，too，andatoncesetustheexampleofrisingfromtable。

MrsVeseyandMissFairlielefttheroomtogether。Thekindsorrowfulblueeyeslookedatme，foramoment，withtheprescientsadnessofacomingandalongfarewell。Ifelttheansweringpanginmyownheart——thepangthattoldmeImustlosehersoon，andloveherthemoreunchangeablyfortheloss。

Iturnedtowardsthegardenwhenthedoorhadclosedonher。MissHalcombewasstandingwithherhatinherhand，andhershawloverherarm，bythelargewindowthatledouttothelawn，andwaslookingatmeattentively。

`Haveyouanyleisuretimetospare，’sheasked，`beforeyoubegintoworkinyourownroom？’

`Certainly，MissHalcombe。Ihavealwaystimeatyourservice。’

`Iwanttosayawordtoyouinprivate，MrHartright。Getyourhatandcomeoutintothegarden。Wearenotlikelytobedisturbedthereatthishourinthemorning。’

Aswesteppedoutontothelawn，oneoftheunder-gardeners——amerelad——passedusonhiswaytothehouse，withaletterinhishand。MissHalcombestoppedhim。

`Isthatletterforme？’sheasked。

`Nay，miss；it’sjustsaidtobeforMissFairlie，’answeredthelad，holdingouttheletterashespoke。

MissHalcombetookitfromhimandlookedattheaddress。

`Astrangehandwriting，’shesaidtoherself。`WhocanLaura’scorrespondentbe？Wheredidyougetthis？’shecontinued，addressingthegardener，`Well，miss，’saidthelad，`ljustgotitfromawoman。’

`Whatwoman？’

`Awomanwellstrickeninage。’

`Oh，anoldwoman。Anyoneyouknew？’

`Icannatak’itonmysel’tosaythatshewasotherthanastrangertome。’

`Whichwaydidshego？’

`Thatgate，’saidtheunder-gardener，turningwithgreatdeliberationtowardsthesouth，andembracingthewholeofthatpartofEnglandwithonecomprehensivesweepofhisarm。

`Curious，’saidMissHalcombe；`Isupposeitmustbeabegging-letter。

There，’sheadded，handingtheletterbacktothelad，`takeittothehouse，andgiveittooneoftheservants。Andnow，MrHartright，ifyouhavenoobjection，letuswalkthisway。’

Sheledmeacrossthelawn，alongthesamepathbywhichIhadfollowedheronthedayaftermyarrivalatLimmeridge。Atthelittlesummer-house，inwhichLauraFairlieandIhadfirstseeneachother，shestopped，andbrokethesilencewhichshehadsteadilymaintainedwhilewewerewalkingtogether。

`WhatIhavetosaytoyouIcansayhere。’

Withthosewordssheenteredthesummer-house，tookoneofthechairsatthelittleroundtableinside，andsignedtometotaketheother。I

suspectedwhatwascomingwhenshespoketomeinthebreakfast-room；I

feltcertainofitnow。

`MrHartright，’shesaid，`Iamgoingtobeginbymakingafrankavowaltoyou。Iamgoingtosay——withoutphrase-making，whichIdetest，orpayingcompliments，whichIheartilydespise——thatIhavecome，inthecourseofyourresidencewithus，tofeelastrongfriendlyregardforyou。Iwaspredisposedinyourfavourwhenyoufirsttoldmeofyourconducttowardsthatunhappywomanwhomyoumetundersuchremarkablecircumstances。

Yourmanagementoftheaffairmightnothavebeenprudent，butitshowedtheself-control，thedelicacy，andthecompassionofamanwhowasnaturallyagentleman。Itmademeexpectgoodthingsfromyou，andyouhavenotdisappointedmyexpectations。’

Shepaused——butheldupherhandatthesametime，asasignthatsheawaitednoanswerfrommebeforesheproceeded。WhenIenteredthesummer-house，nothoughtwasinmeofthewomaninwhite。Butnow，MissHalcombe’sownwordshadputthememoryofmyadventurebackinmymind。

Itremainedtherethroughouttheinterview——remained，andnotwithoutaresult。

`Asyourfriend，’sheproceeded，`Iamgoingtotellyou，atonce，inmyownplain，blunt，downrightlanguage，thatIhavediscoveredyoursecret——withouthelporhint，mind，fromanyoneelse。MrHartright，youhavethoughtlesslyallowedyourselftoformanattachment——aseriousanddevotedattachment，Iamafraid——tomysisterLaura。Idon’tputyoutothepainofconfessingitinsomanywords，becauseIseeandknowthatyouaretoohonesttodenyit。Idon’tevenblameyou——Ipityyouforopeningyourhearttoahopelessaffection。Youhavenotattemptedtotakeanyunderhandadvantage——youhavenotspokentomysisterinsecret。Youareguiltyofweaknessandwantofattentiontoyourownbestinterests，butofnothingworse。Ifyouhadacted，inanysinglerespect，lessdelicatelyandlessmodestly，Ishouldhavetoldyoutoleavethehouse，withoutaninstant’snotice，oraninstant’sconsultationofanybody。Asitis，I

blamethemisfortuneofyouryearsandyourposition——Idon’tblameyou。

Shakehands——Ihavegivenyoupain；Iamgoingtogiveyoumore，butthereisnohelpforit——shakehandswithyourfriend，MarianHalcombe，first。’

Thesuddenkindness——thewarm，high-minded，fearlesssympathywhichmetmeonsuchmercyequalterms，whichappealedwithsuchdelicateandgenerousabruptnessstraighttomyheart，myhonour，andmycourage，overcamemeinaninstant。Itriedtolookatherwhenshetookmyhand，butmyeyesweredim。Itriedtothankher，butmyvoicefailedme。

`Listentome，’shesaid，consideratelyavoidingallnoticeofmylossofself-control。`Listentome，andletusgetitoveratonce。ItisarealtruerelieftomethatIamnotobliged，inwhatIhavenowtosay，toenterintothequestion——thehardandcruelquestionasIthinkit——ofsocialinequalities。Circumstanceswhichwilltryyoutothequick，sparemetheungraciousnecessityofpainingamanwhohaslivedinfriendlyintimacyunderthesameroofwithmyselfbyanyhumiliatingreferencetomattersofrankandstation。YoumustleaveLimmeridgeHouse，MrHartright，beforemoreharmisdone。Itismydutytosaythattoyou；

anditwouldbeequallymydutytosayit，underpreciselythesameseriousnecessity，ifyouweretherepresentativeoftheoldestandwealthiestfamilyinEngland。Youmustleaveus，notbecauseyouareateacherofdrawing——’

Shewaitedamoment，turnedherfacefullonme，andreachingacrossthetable，laidherhandfirmlyonmyarm。

`Notbecauseyouareateacherofdrawing，’sherepeated，`butbecauseLauraFairlieisengagedtobemarried。’

Thelastwordwentlikeabullettomyheart。Myarmlostallsensationofthehandthatgraspedit。Inevermovedandneverspoke。Thesharpautumnbreezethatscatteredthedeadleavesatourfeetcameascoldtome，onasudden，asifmyownmadhopesweredeadleavestoo，whirledawaybythewindliketherest。Hopes！Betrothed，ornotbetrothed，shewasequallyfarfromme。Wouldothermenhaverememberedthatinmyplace？NotiftheyhadlovedherasIdid。