第16章

Bythistimewearedrawingneartotheappointedspot。I

mountuponthebridge，theobservedofallobservers。

“Captain。”Isay，inclear，emphatictones，heardfarandwide，“themajorityofthecompanyappeartobeinfavourofthelittlecovebeyondOneTreePoint。”

“Allright，Mr。Dodd。”respondsthecaptain，heartily；“allonetome。Iamnotexactlysureoftheplaceyoumean；butjustyoustayhereandpilotme。”

Ido，pointingwithmywand。Idopilothim，totheinexpressibleentertainmentofthepicnic；forIam(whyshouldIdenyit？)thepopularman。Weslowdownoffthemouthofagrassyvalley，wateredbyabrook，andsetinpinesandredwoods。Theanchorisletgo；theboatsarelowered，twoofthemalreadypackedwiththematerialsofanimpromptubar；

andthePioneerBand，accompaniedbytheresplendentasses，filltheother，andmoveshorewardtotheinvitingstrainsofBuffaloGals，won’tyoucomeoutto-night？Itisapartofourprogrammethatoneoftheassesshall，fromsheerclumsiness，inthecourseofthisembarkation，dropadummyaxeintothewater，whereuponthemirthofthepicniccanhardlybeassuaged。Upononeoccasion，thedummyaxefloated，andthelaughturnedratherthewrongway。

Infromtentotwentyminutestheboatsarealong-sideagain，themessesaremarshalledseparatelyonthedeck，andthepicnicgoesashore，tofindthebandandtheimpromptubarawaitingthem。Thencomethehampers，whicharepileduponthebeach，andsurroundedbyasternguardofstalwartasses，axeonshoulder。ItishereItakemyplace，note-bookinhand，underabannerbearingthelegend，“Comehereforhampers。”

Eachhampercontainsacompleteoutfitforaseparatetwenty，coldprovender，plates，glasses，knives，forks，andspoons：anagonizedprintedappealfromthefeveredpenofPinkerton，pastedontheinsideofthelid，beseechesthatcarebetakenoftheglassandsilver。Beer，wine，andlemonadeareflowingalreadyfromthebar，andthevariousclansoftwentyfileawayintothewoods，withbottlesundertheirarms，andthehampersstrunguponastick。Tillonetheyfeastthere，inaverymoderateseclusion，allbeingwithinearshotoftheband。Fromonetillfour，dancingtakesplaceuponthegrass；thebardoesaroaringbusiness；andthehonorarysteward，whohasalreadyexhaustedhimselftobringlifeintothedullestofthemesses，mustnowindefatigablydancewiththeplainestofthewomen。

Atfourabugle-callissounded；andbyhalf-pastbeholdusonboardagain，pioneers，corrugatedironbar，emptybottles，andall；whilethehonorarysteward，freeatlast，subsidesintothecaptain’scabinoverabrandyandsodaandabook。Freeatlast，Isay；yetthereremainsbeforehimthefranticleavetakingsatthepier，andasoberjourneyuptoPinkerton’sofficewithtwopolicemenandtheday’stakingsinabag。

WhatIhaveheresketchedwastheroutine。ButweappealedtothetasteofSanFranciscomoredistinctlyinparticularfetes。

“YeOldeTimePycke-Nycke。”largelyadvertisedinhand-billsbeginning“Oyez，Oyez！”andlargelyfrequentedbyknights，monks，andcavaliers，wasdrownedoutbyunseasonablerain，andreturnedtothecityoneofthesaddestspectaclesIeverremembertohavewitnessed。Inpleasingcontrast，andcertainlyourchiefsuccess，was“TheGatheringoftheClans。”

orScottishpicnic。Somanymilk-whitekneeswereneverbeforesimultaneouslyexhibitedinpublic，andtojudgebytheprevalenceof“RoyalStewart“andthenumberofeagle’sfeathers，wewereahigh-borncompany。IthrewforwardtheScottishflankofmyownancestry，andpassedmusterasaclansmanwithapplause。Therewas，indeed，butonesmallcloudonthisred-letterday。Ihadlaidinalargesupplyofthenationalbeverage，intheshapeofThe“RobRoyMacGregorO“Blend，WarrantedOldandVatted；andthismustcertainlyhavebeenagenerousspirit，forIhadsomeanxiousworkbetweenfourandhalf-past，conveyingonboardtheinanimateformsofchieftains。

Tooneofourordinaryfestivities，wherehewasthelifeandsoulofhisownmess，Pinkertonhimselfcameincognito，bringingthealgebraistonhisarm。MissMamieprovedtobeawell-enough-lookingmouse，withalarge，limpideye，verygoodmanners，andaflowofthemostcorrectexpressionsI

haveeverhearduponthehumanlip。AsPinkerton’sincognitowasstrict，Ihadlittleopportunitytocultivatethelady’sacquaintance；butIwasinformedafterwardsthatsheconsideredme“thewittiestgentlemanshehadevermet。”“TheLordmendyourtasteinwit！”thoughtI；butIcannotconcealthatsuchwasthegeneralimpression。OneofmypleasantriesevenwenttheroundofSanFrancisco，andIhaveheardit(myselfallunknown)bandiedinsaloons。Tobeunknownbeganatlasttobearareexperience；abustlewokeuponmypassage；aboveall，inhumbleneighbourhoods。“Who’sthat？”

onewouldask，andtheotherwouldcry，“That！Why，DromedaryDodd！”or，withwitheringscorn，“NotknowMr。

DoddofthePicnics？Well！”andindeedIthinkitmarkedaratherbarrendestiny；forourpicnics，ifatriflevulgar，wereasgayandinnocentastheageofgold；Iamsurenopeopledivertthemselvessoeasilyandsowell：andevenwiththecaresofmystewardship，Iwasoftenhappytobethere。

Indeed，therewerebuttwodrawbacksintheleastconsiderable。

Thefirstwasmyterrorofthehobbledehoygirls，towhom(fromthedemandsofmysituation)Iwasobligedtolaymyselfsoopen。Theother，iflessmomentous，wasmoremortifying。

Inearlydays，atmymother’sknee，asamanmaysay，Ihadacquiredtheunenviableaccomplishment(whichIhaveneversincebeenabletolose)ofsinging_JustbeforetheBattle。_I

havewhattheFrenchcallafilletofvoice，mybestnotesscarceaudibleaboutadinner-table，andtheupperregisterrathertoberegardedasahigherpowerofsilence：expertstellmebesidesthatIsingflat；nor，ifIwerethebestsingerintheworld，does_JustbeforetheBattle_occurtomymaturetasteasthesongthatIwouldchoosetosing。Inspiteofallwhichconsiderations，atonepicnic，memorablydull，andafterIhadexhaustedeveryotherartofpleasing，Igave，indesperation，myonesong。Fromthathourmydoomwasgoneforth。Eitherwehadachronicpassenger(thoughIcouldneverdetecthim)，ortheverywoodandironofthesteamermusthaveretainedthetradition。AteverysuccessivepicnicwordwentroundthatMr。

Doddwasasinger；thatMr。Doddsang_JustbeforetheBattle_，andfinallythatnowwasthetimewhenMr。Doddsang_JustbeforetheBattle；_sothatthethingbecameafixturelikethedroppingofthedummyaxe，andyouaretoconceiveme，SundayafterSunday，pipingupmylamentabledittyandcovered，whenitwasdone，withgratuitousapplause。

ItisabeautifultraitinhumannaturethatIwasinvariablyofferedanencore。

Iwaswellpaid，however，eventosing。PinkertonandI，afteranaverageSunday，hadfivehundreddollarstodivide。Nay，andthepicnicswerethemeans，althoughindirectly，ofbringingmeasingularwindfall。Thiswasattheendoftheseason，afterthe“GrandFarewellFancyDressGala。”Manyofthehampershadsufferedseverely；anditwasjudgedwisertosavestorage，disposeofthem，andlayinafreshstockwhenthecampaignre-

opened。AmongmypurchaserswasaworkingmanofthenameofSpeedy，towhosehouse，afterseveralunavailingletters，I

mustproceedinperson，wonderingtofindmyselfonceagainonthewrongside，andplayingthecreditortosomeoneelse’sdebtor。Speedywasinthebelligerentstageoffear。Hecouldnotpay。Itappearedhehadalreadyresoldthehampers，andhedefiedmetodomyworst。Ididnotliketolosemyownmoney；IhatedtolosePinkerton’s；andthebearingofmycreditorincensedme。

“Doyouknow，Mr。Speedy，thatIcansendyoutothepenitentiary？”saidI，willingtoreadhimalesson。

Thedireexpressionwasoverheardinthenextroom。Alarge，fresh，motherlyIrishwomanranforthupontheinstant，andfelltobesiegemewithcaressesandappeals。“Surenow，andyecouldn’thavethehearttout，Mr。Dodd，you，that’ssowellknowntobeapleasantgentleman；andit’sapleasantfaceyehave，andthepictureofmeownbrotherthat’sdeadandgone。

It’satruththathe’sbeendrinking。Yecansmellitoffofhim，moreblametohim。But，indade，andthere’snothinginthehousebeyontthefurnicher，andThimStock。It’sthestockthatye’llbetaking，dear。Asorepennyithascostme，firstandlast，andbyalltales，notworthanowldtobaccopipe。”Thusadjured，andsomewhatembarrassedbythesternattitudeIhadadopted，Isufferedmyselftobeinvestedwithaconsiderablequantityofwhatiscalledwild-catstock，inwhichthisexcellentifillogicalfemalehadbeensquanderingherhard-earnedgold。

Itcouldscarcebesaidtobettermyposition，butthestepquietedthewoman；and，ontheotherhand，IcouldnotthinkI

wastakingmuchrisk，forthesharesinquestion(theywerethoseofwhatIwillcalltheCatamountSilverMine)hadfallensometimebeforetothebed-rockquotation，andnowlayperfectlyinert，orwereonlykicked(likeotherwastepaper)

aboutthekenneloftheexchangebybankruptspeculators。

Amonthortwoafter，Iperceivedbythestock-listthatCatamounthadtakenabound；beforeafternoon，“thimstock“

wereworthaquiteconsiderablepotofmoney；andIlearned，uponinquiry，thatabonanzahadbeenfoundinacondemnedlead，andtheminewasnowexpectedtodowonders。

Remarkabletophilosophershowbonanzasarefoundincondemnedleads，andhowthestockisalwaysatfreezing-pointimmediatelybefore！Bysomestrokeofchancethe，Speedyshadheldontotherightthing；theyhadescapedthesyndicate；

yetalittlemore，ifIhadnotcometodunthem，andMrs。

Speedywouldhavebeenbuyingasilkdress。Icouldnotbear，ofcourse，toprofitbytheaccident，andreturnedtoofferrestitution。Thehousewasinabustle；theneighbours(allstock-gamblersthemselves)hadcrowdedtocondole；andMrs。

Speedysatwithstreamingtears，thecentreofasympatheticgroup。“ForfifteenyearI’vebeenatut。”shewaslamenting，asIentered，“andgrudgingthebabestheverymilk，moreshametome！topaytheirdhirtyassessments。Andnow，mydears，I

shouldbealady，anddrivinginmycoach，ifallhadtheirrights；andasorrowonthatmanDodd！AssoonasIseteyesonhim，Iseenthedivilwasinthehouse。”

ItwasuponthesewordsthatImademyentrance，whichwasthereforedramaticenough，thoughnothingtowhatfollowed。

ForwhenitappearedthatIwascometorestorethelostfortune，andwhenMrs。Speedy(aftercopiouslyweepingonmybosom)

hadrefusedtherestitution，andwhenMr。Speedy(summonedtothatendfromacampoftheGrandArmyoftheRepublic)

hadaddedhisrefusal，andwhenIhadinsisted，andtheyhadinsisted，andtheneighbourshadapplaudedandsupportedeachofusinturn；andwhenatlastitwasagreedweweretoholdthestocktogether，andsharetheproceedsinthreeparts——oneforme，oneforMr。Speedy，andoneforhisspouse——Iwillleaveyoutoconceivetheenthusiasmthatreignedinthatsmall，bareapartment，withthesewing-machineintheonecorner，andthebabesasleepintheother，andpicturesofGarfieldandtheBattleofGettysburgontheyellowwalls。Portwinewashadinbyasympathiser，andwedrankitmingledwithtears。

“AndIdhrinktoyourhealth，mydear。”sobbedMrs。Speedy，especiallyaffectedbymygallantryinthematterofthethirdshare；“andI’msurewealldhrinktohishealth——Mr。Doddofthepicnics，nogentlemanbetterknownthanhim；andit’smyprayer，dear，thegoodGodmaybelongsparedtoseeyeinhealthandhappiness！”

IntheendIwasthechiefgainer；forIsoldmythirdwhileitwasworthfivethousanddollars，buttheSpeedysmoreadventurouslyheldonuntilthesyndicatereversedtheprocess，whentheywerehappytoescapewithperhapsaquarterofthatsum。Itwasjustaswell；forthebulkofthemoneywas(inPinkerton’sphrase)reinvested；andwhennextIsawMrs。

Speedy，shewasstillgorgeouslydressedfromtheproceedsofthelatesuccess，butwasalreadymoistwithtearsoverthenewcatastrophe。“We’refrozeout，medarlin’！Allthemoneywehad，dear，andthesewing-machine，andJim’suniform，wasintheGoldenWest；andthevipershasputonanewassessment。”

Bytheendoftheyear，therefore，thisishowIstood。IhadmadeByCatamountSilverMine。$5，000

Bythepicnics。3，000

Bythelecture。600

ByprofitandlossoncapitalinPinkerton’sbusiness。1，350

towhichmustbeaddedWhatremainedofmygrandfather’sdonation。8，500

Itappears，ontheotherhand，thatIhadspent。4，000

Whichthusleftmetothegood。$14，450

AresultonwhichIamnotashamedtosayIlookedwithgratitudeandpride。Someeightthousand(beinglateconquest)

wasliquidandactuallytractileinthebank；therestwhirledbeyondreachandevensight(saveinthemirrorofabalance-