My Bondage and My Freedom

第4章

He_wantedmetobe_aslave；_IhadalreadyvotedagainstthatonthehomeplantationofCol。Lloyd。ThatwhichhemostlovedI

mosthated；andtheverydeterminationwhichheexpressedtokeepmeinignorance，onlyrenderedmethemoreresoluteinseekingintelligence。Inlearningtoread，therefore，IamnotsurethatIdonotowequiteasmuchtotheoppositionofmymaster，astothekindlyassistanceofmyamiablemistress。Iacknowledgethebenefitrenderedmebytheone，andbytheother；believing，thatbutformymistress，Imighthavegrownupinignorance。

IhadresidedbutashorttimeinBaltimore，beforeIobservedamarkeddifferenceinthemanneroftreatingslaves，generally，fromwhichIhadwitnessedinthatisolatedandout-of-the-waypartofthecountrywhereIbeganlife。Acityslaveisalmostafreecitizen，inBaltimore，comparedwithaslaveonCol。Lloyd"splantation。Heismuchbetterfedandclothed，islessdejectedinhisappearance，andenjoysprivilegesaltogetherunknowntothewhip-drivenslaveontheplantation。Slaverydislikesadensepopulation，inwhichthereisamajorityofnon-

slaveholders。Thegeneralsenseofdecencythatmustpervadesuchapopulation，doesmuchtocheckandpreventthoseoutbreaksofatrociouscruelty，andthosedarkcrimeswithoutaname，almostopenlyperpetratedontheplantation。Heisadesperateslaveholderwhowillshockthehumanityofhisnon-slaveholdingneighbors，bythecriesofthelaceratedslaves；andveryfewinthecityarewillingtoincurtheodiumofbeingcruelmasters。

Ifound，inBaltimore，thatnomanwasmoreodioustothewhite，aswellastothecoloredpeople，thanhe，whohadthereputationofstarvinghisslaves。Workthem，flogthem，ifneedbe，butdon"tstarvethem。Theseare，however，somepainfulexceptionstothisrule。WhileitisquitetruethatmostoftheslaveholdersinBaltimorefeedandclothetheirslaveswell，thereareotherswhokeepuptheircountrycrueltiesinthecity。

Aninstanceofthissortisfurnishedinthecaseofafamily<116>wholiveddirectlyoppositetoourhouse，andwerenamedHamilton。Mrs。Hamiltonownedtwoslaves。TheirnameswereHenriettaandMary。Theyhadalwaysbeenhouseslaves。Onewasagedabouttwenty-two，andtheotheraboutfourteen。Theywereafragilecouplebynature，andthetreatmenttheyreceivedwasenoughtobreakdowntheconstitutionofahorse。Ofallthedejected，emaciated，mangledandexcoriatedcreaturesIeversaw，thosetwogirls——intherefined，churchgoingandChristiancityofBaltimorewerethemostdeplorable。Ofstonemustthatheartbemade，thatcouldlookuponHenriettaandMary，withoutbeingsickenedtothecorewithsadness。EspeciallywasMaryaheart-

sickeningobject。Herhead，neckandshoulders，wereliterallycuttopieces。Ihavefrequentlyfeltherhead，andfounditnearlycoveredoverwithfesteringsores，causedbythelashofhercruelmistress。Idonotknowthathermastereverwhippedher，butIhaveoftenbeenaneyewitnessoftherevoltingandbrutalinflictionsbyMrs。Hamilton；andwhatlendsadeepershadetothiswoman"sconduct，isthefact，that，almostintheverymomentsofhershockingoutragesofhumanityanddecency，shewouldcharmyoubythesweetnessofhervoiceandherseemingpiety。Sheusedtositinalargerockingchair，nearthemiddleoftheroom，withaheavycowskin，suchasIhaveelsewheredescribed；andIspeakwithinthetruthwhenIsay，thatthesegirlsseldompassedthatchair，duringtheday，withoutablowfromthatcowskin，eitherupontheirbarearms，orupontheirshoulders。Astheypassedher，shewoulddrawhercowskinandgivethemablow，saying，_“movefaster，youblackjip！“_and，again，_“takethat，youblackjip！“_continuing，_“ifyoudon"tmovefaster，Iwillgiveyoumore。“_Thentheladywouldgoon，singinghersweethymns，asthoughher_righteous_soulweresighingfortheholyrealmsofparadise。

Addedtothecruellashingstowhichthesepoorslave-girlsweresubjected——enoughinthemselvestocrushthespiritofmen——theywere，really，keptnearlyhalfstarved；theyseldomknew<117

MRS。HAMILTON"SCRUELTYTOHERSLAVES>whatitwastoeatafullmeal，exceptwhentheygotitinthekitchensofneighbors，lessmeanandstingythanthepsalm-singingMrs。Hamilton。IhaveseenpoorMarycontendingfortheoffal，withthepigsinthestreet。Somuchwasthepoorgirlpinched，kicked，cutandpeckedtopieces，thattheboysinthestreetknewheronlybythenameof_“pecked，“_anamederivedfromthescarsandblotchesonherneck，headandshoulders。

ItissomerelieftothispictureofslaveryinBaltimore，tosay——whatisbutthesimpletruth——thatMrs。Hamilton"streatmentofherslaveswasgenerallycondemned，asdisgracefulandshocking；butwhileIsaythis，itmustalsoberemembered，thattheverypartieswhocensuredthecrueltyofMrs。Hamilton，wouldhavecondemnedandpromptlypunishedanyattempttointerferewithMrs。Hamilton"s_right_tocutandslashherslavestopieces。Theremustbenoforcebetweentheslaveandtheslaveholder，torestrainthepoweroftheone，andprotecttheweaknessoftheother；andthecrueltyofMrs。Hamiltonisasjustlychargeabletotheupholdersoftheslavesystem，asdrunkennessischargeableonthosewho，bypreceptandexample，orbyindifference，upholdthedrinkingsystem。

CHAPTERXI

“AChangeCameO"ertheSpiritofMyDream“

HOWILEARNEDTOREAD——MYMISTRESS——HERSLAVEHOLDINGDUTIES——

THEIRDEPLORABLEEFFECTSUPONHERORIGINALLYNOBLENATURE——THE

CONFLICTINHERMIND——HERFINALOPPOSITIONTOMYLEARNINGTO

READ——TOOLATE——SHEHADGIVENMETHEINCH，IWASRESOLVEDTOTAKE

THEELL——HOWIPURSUEDMYEDUCATION——MYTUTORS——HOWICOMPENSATED

THEM——WHATPROGRESSIMADE——SLAVERY——WHATIHEARDSAIDABOUTIT——

THIRTEENYEARSOLD——THE_ColumbianOrator_——ARICHSCENE——A

DIALOGUE——SPEECHESOFCHATHAM，SHERIDAN，PITTANDFOX——KNOWLEDGE

EVERINCREASING——MYEYESOPENED——LIBERTY——HOWIPINEDFORIT——MY

SADNESS——THEDISSATISFACTIONOFMYPOORMISTRESS——MYHATREDOF

SLAVERY——ONEUPASTREEOVERSHADOWEDUSBOTH。

IlivedinthefamilyofMasterHugh，atBaltimore，sevenyears，duringwhichtime——asthealmanacmakerssayoftheweather——myconditionwasvariable。Themostinterestingfeatureofmyhistoryhere，wasmylearningtoreadandwrite，undersomewhatmarkeddisadvantages。Inattainingthisknowledge，Iwascompelledtoresorttoindirectionsbynomeanscongenialtomynature，andwhichwerereallyhumiliatingtome。Mymistress——

who，asthereaderhasalreadyseen，hadbeguntoteachmewassuddenlycheckedinherbenevolentdesign，bythestrongadviceofherhusband。Infaithfulcompliancewiththisadvice，thegoodladyhadnotonlyceasedtoinstructme，herself，buthadsetherfaceasaflintagainstmylearningtoreadbyanymeans。

Itisdue，however，tomymistresstosay，thatshedidnotadoptthiscourseinallitsstringencyatthefirst。Sheeitherthoughtitunnecessary，orshelackedthedepravityindispensabletoshuttingmeupin<119EFFECTSOFSLAVEHOLDINGONMY

MISTRESS>mentaldarkness。Itwas，atleast，necessaryforhertohavesometraining，andsomehardening，intheexerciseoftheslaveholder"sprerogative，tomakeherequaltoforgettingmyhumannatureandcharacter，andtotreatingmeasathingdestituteofamoraloranintellectualnature。Mrs。Auld——mymistress——was，asIhavesaid，amostkindandtender-heartedwoman；and，inthehumanityofherheart，andthesimplicityofhermind，shesetout，whenIfirstwenttolivewithher，totreatmeasshesupposedonehumanbeingoughttotreatanother。

Itiseasytosee，that，inenteringuponthedutiesofaslaveholder，somelittleexperienceisneeded。Naturehasdonealmostnothingtopreparemenandwomentobeeitherslavesorslaveholders。Nothingbutrigidtraining，longpersistedin，canperfectthecharacteroftheoneortheother。Onecannoteasilyforgettolovefreedom；anditisashardtoceasetorespectthatnaturalloveinourfellowcreatures。Onenteringuponthecareerofaslaveholdingmistress，Mrs。Auldwassingularlydeficient；nature，whichfitsnobodyforsuchanoffice，haddonelessforherthananyladyIhadknown。Itwasnoeasymattertoinducehertothinkandtofeelthatthecurly-headedboy，whostoodbyherside，andevenleanedonherlap；whowaslovedbylittleTommy，andwholovedlittleTommyinturn；sustainedtoheronlytherelationofachattel。Iwas_more_thanthat，andshefeltmetobemorethanthat。Icouldtalkandsing；Icouldlaughandweep；Icouldreasonandremember；Icouldloveandhate。Iwashuman，andshe，dearlady，knewandfeltmetobeso。Howcouldshe，then，treatmeasabrute，withoutamightystrugglewithallthenoblepowersofherownsoul。Thatstrugglecame，andthewillandpowerofthehusbandwasvictorious。Hernoblesoulwasoverthrown；but，hethatoverthrewitdidnot，himself，escapetheconsequences。He，notlessthantheotherparties，wasinjuredinhisdomesticpeacebythefall。

WhenIwentintotheirfamily，itwastheabodeofhappinessandcontentment。Themistressofthehousewasamodelofaffec<120>tionandtenderness。Herferventpietyandwatchfuluprightnessmadeitimpossibletoseeherwithoutthinkingandfeeling——“_thatwomanisaChristian_。“Therewasnosorrownorsufferingforwhichshehadnotatear，andtherewasnoinnocentjoyforwhichshedidnotasmile。Shehadbreadforthehungry，clothesforthenaked，andcomfortforeverymournerthatcamewithinherreach。Slaverysoonproveditsabilitytodivestheroftheseexcellentqualities，andherhomeofitsearlyhappiness。Consciencecannotstandmuchviolence。Oncethoroughlybrokendown，_who_ishethatcanrepairthedamage？

Itmaybebrokentowardtheslave，onSunday，andtowardthemasteronMonday。Itcannotenduresuchshocks。Itmuststandentire，oritdoesnotstandatall。Ifmyconditionwaxedbad，thatofthefamilywaxednotbetter。Thefirststep，inthewrongdirection，wastheviolencedonetonatureandtoconscience，inarrestingthebenevolencethatwouldhaveenlightenedmyyoungmind。Inceasingtoinstructme，shemustbegintojustifyherself_to_herself；and，onceconsentingtotakesidesinsuchadebate，shewasrivetedtoherposition。

Oneneedsverylittleknowledgeofmoralphilosophy，tosee_where_mymistressnowlanded。Shefinallybecameevenmoreviolentinheroppositiontomylearningtoread，thanwasherhusbandhimself。Shewasnotsatisfiedwithsimplydoingas_well_asherhusbandhadcommandedher，butseemedresolvedtobetterhisinstruction。Nothingappearedtomakemypoormistress——afterherturningtowardthedownwardpath——moreangry，thanseeingme，seatedinsomenookorcorner，quietlyreadingabookoranewspaper。Ihavehadherrushatme，withtheutmostfury，andsnatchfrommyhandsuchnewspaperorbook，withsomethingofthewrathandconsternationwhichatraitormightbesupposedtofeelonbeingdiscoveredinaplotbysomedangerousspy。

Mrs。Auldwasanaptwoman，andtheadviceofherhusband，andherownexperience，soondemonstrated，toherentiresatisfaction，thateducationandslaveryareincompatiblewitheachother。Whenthisconvictionwasthoroughlyestablished，I

was<121HOWIPURSUEDMYEDUCATION>mostnarrowlywatchedinallmymovements。IfIremainedinaseparateroomfromthefamilyforanyconsiderablelengthoftime，Iwassuretobesuspectedofhavingabook，andwasatoncecalledupontogiveanaccountofmyself。Allthis，however，wasentirely_toolate_。Thefirst，andnevertoberetraced，stephadbeentaken。Inteachingmethealphabet，inthedaysofhersimplicityandkindness，mymistresshadgivenmethe_“inch，“_andnow，noordinaryprecautioncouldpreventmefromtakingthe_“ell。“_

Seizedwithadeterminationtolearntoread，atanycost，Ihituponmanyexpedientstoaccomplishthedesiredend。ThepleawhichImainlyadopted，andtheonebywhichIwasmostsuccessful，wasthatofusingmyyoungwhiteplaymates，withwhomImetinthestreetsasteachers。Iusedtocarry，almostconstantly，acopyofWebster"sspellingbookinmypocket；and，whensentoferrands，orwhenplaytimewasallowedme，Iwouldstep，withmyyoungfriends，aside，andtakealessoninspelling。Igenerallypaidmy_tuitionfee_totheboys，withbread，whichIalsocarriedinmypocket。Forasinglebiscuit，anyofmyhungrylittlecomradeswouldgivemealessonmorevaluabletomethanbread。Noteveryone，however，demandedthisconsideration，fortherewerethosewhotookpleasureinteachingme，wheneverIhadachancetobetaughtbythem。Iamstronglytemptedtogivethenamesoftwoorthreeofthoselittleboys，asaslighttestimonialofthegratitudeandaffectionIbearthem，butprudenceforbids；notthatitwouldinjureme，butitmight，possibly，embarrassthem；foritisalmostanunpardonableoffensetodoanything，directlyorindirectly，topromoteaslave"sfreedom，inaslavestate。Itisenoughtosay，ofmywarm-heartedlittleplayfellows，thattheylivedonPhilpotstreet，verynearDurgin&Bailey"sshipyard。

Althoughslaverywasadelicatesubject，andverycautiouslytalkedaboutamonggrownuppeopleinMaryland，Ifrequentlytalkedaboutit——andthatveryfreely——withthewhiteboys。I

<122>would，sometimes，saytothem，whileseatedonacurbstoneoracellardoor，“IwishIcouldbefree，asyouwillbewhenyougettobemen。““Youwillbefree，youknow，assoonasyouaretwenty-one，andcangowhereyoulike，butIamaslaveforlife。HaveInotasgoodarighttobefreeasyouhave？“Wordslikethese，Iobserved，alwaystroubledthem；andIhadnosmallsatisfactioninwringingfromtheboys，occasionally，thatfreshandbittercondemnationofslavery，thatspringsfromnature，unsearedandunperverted。Ofallconsciencesletmehavethosetodealwithwhichhavenotbeenbewilderedbythecaresoflife。

Idonotrememberevertohavemetwitha_boy_，whileIwasinslavery，whodefendedtheslavesystem；butIhaveoftenhadboystoconsoleme，withthehopethatsomethingwouldyetoccur，bywhichImightbemadefree。Overandoveragain，theyhavetoldme，that“theybelievedIhadasgoodarighttobefreeas_they_had；“andthat“theydidnotbelieveGodevermadeanyonetobeaslave。“Thereaderwilleasilysee，thatsuchlittleconversationswithmyplayfellows，hadnotendencytoweakenmyloveofliberty，nortorendermecontentedwithmyconditionasaslave。

WhenIwasaboutthirteenyearsold，andhadsucceededinlearningtoread，everyincreaseofknowledge，especiallyrespectingtheFREESTATES，addedsomethingtothealmostintolerableburdenofthethought——IAMASLAVEFORLIFE。TomybondageIsawnoend。Itwasaterriblereality，andIshallneverbeabletotellhowsadlythatthoughtchafedmyyoungspirit。Fortunately，orunfortunately，aboutthistimeinmylife，Ihadmadeenoughmoneytobuywhatwasthenaverypopularschoolbook，viz:the_ColumbianOrator_。Iboughtthisadditiontomylibrary，ofMr。Knight，onThamesstreet，Fell"sPoint，Baltimore，andpaidhimfiftycentsforit。Iwasfirstledtobuythisbook，byhearingsomelittleboyssaytheyweregoingtolearnsomelittlepiecesoutofitfortheExhibition。Thisvolumewas，indeed，arichtreasure，andeveryopportunityaffordedme，for<123_TheColumbianOrator_——ADIALOGUE>atime，wasspentindiligentlyperusingit。Amongmuchotherinterestingmatter，thatwhichIhadperusedandreperusedwithunflaggingsatisfaction，wasashortdialoguebetweenamasterandhisslave。Theslaveisrepresentedashavingbeenrecaptured，inasecondattempttorunaway；andthemasteropensthedialoguewithanupbraidingspeech，chargingtheslavewithingratitude，anddemandingtoknowwhathehastosayinhisowndefense。Thusupbraided，andthuscalledupontoreply，theslaverejoins，thatheknowshowlittleanythingthathecansaywillavail，seeingthatheiscompletelyinthehandsofhisowner；andwithnobleresolution，calmlysays，“Isubmittomyfate。“Touchedbytheslave"sanswer，themasterinsistsuponhisfurtherspeaking，andrecapitulatesthemanyactsofkindnesswhichhehasperformedtowardtheslave，andtellshimheispermittedtospeakforhimself。Thusinvitedtothedebate，thequondamslavemadeaspiriteddefenseofhimself，andthereafterthewholeargument，forandagainstslavery，wasbroughtout。

Themasterwasvanquishedateveryturnintheargument；andseeinghimselftobethusvanquished，hegenerouslyandmeeklyemancipatestheslave，withhisbestwishesforhisprosperity。

Itisscarcelyneccessary{sic}tosay，thatadialogue，withsuchanorigin，andsuchanending——readwhenthefactofmybeingaslavewasaconstantburdenofgrief——powerfullyaffectedme；andIcouldnothelpfeelingthatthedaymightcome，whenthewell-

directedanswersmadebytheslavetothemaster，inthisinstance，wouldfindtheircounterpartinmyself。

This，however，wasnotallthefanaticismwhichIfoundinthis_ColumbianOrator_。ImetthereoneofSheridan"smightyspeeches，onthesubjectofCatholicEmancipation，LordChatham"sspeechontheAmericanwar，andspeechesbythegreatWilliamPittandbyFox。Thesewereallchoicedocumentstome，andI

readthem，overandoveragain，withaninterestthatwaseverincreasing，becauseitwasevergaininginintelligence；forthemoreIreadthem，thebetterIunderstoodthem。Thereadingof<124>thesespeechesaddedmuchtomylimitedstockoflanguage，andenabledmetogivetonguetomanyinterestingthoughts，whichhadfrequentlyflashedthroughmysoul，anddiedawayforwantofutterance。Themightypowerandheart-searchingdirectnessoftruth，penetratingeventheheartofaslaveholder，compellinghimtoyielduphisearthlyintereststotheclaimsofeternaljustice，werefinelyillustratedinthedialogue，justreferredto；andfromthespeechesofSheridan，Igotaboldandpowerfuldenunciationofoppression，andamostbrilliantvindicationoftherightsofman。Herewas，indeed，anobleacquisition。IfI

everwaveredundertheconsideration，thattheAlmighty，insomeway，ordainedslavery，andwilledmyenslavementforhisownglory，Iwaverednolonger。Ihadnowpenetratedthesecretofallslaveryandoppression，andhadascertainedtheirtruefoundationtobeinthepride，thepowerandtheavariceofman。

Thedialogueandthespeecheswereallredolentoftheprinciplesofliberty，andpouredfloodsoflightonthenatureandcharacterofslavery。Withabookofthiskindinmyhand，myownhumannature，andthefactsofmyexperience，tohelpme，I

wasequaltoacontestwiththereligiousadvocatesofslavery，whetheramongthewhitesoramongthecoloredpeople，forblindness，inthismatter，isnotconfinedtotheformer。Ihavemetmanyreligiouscoloredpeople，atthesouth，whoareunderthedelusionthatGodrequiresthemtosubmittoslavery，andtoweartheirchainswithmeeknessandhumility。Icouldentertainnosuchnonsenseasthis；andIalmostlostmypatiencewhenI

foundanycoloredmanweakenoughtobelievesuchstuff。

Nevertheless，theincreaseofknowledgewasattendedwithbitter，aswellassweetresults。ThemoreIread，themoreIwasledtoabhoranddetestslavery，andmyenslavers。“Slaveholders，“

thoughtI，“areonlyabandofsuccessfulrobbers，wholefttheirhomesandwentintoAfricaforthepurposeofstealingandreducingmypeopletoslavery。“Iloathedthemasthemeanestandthemostwickedofmen。AsIread，behold！theverydiscontentsographicallypre<125MYEYESOPENED>dictedbyMasterHugh，hadalreadycomeuponme。Iwasnolongerthelight-

hearted，gleesomeboy，fullofmirthandplay，aswhenIlandedfirstatBaltimore。Knowledgehadcome；lighthadpenetratedthemoraldungeonwhereIdwelt；and，behold！therelaythebloodywhip，formyback，andherewastheironchain；andmygood，_kindmaster_，hewastheauthorofmysituation。Therevelationhauntedme，stungme，andmademegloomyandmiserable。AsI

writhedunderthestingandtormentofthisknowledge，Ialmostenviedmyfellowslavestheirstupidcontentment。Thisknowledgeopenedmyeyestothehorriblepit，andrevealedtheteethofthefrightfuldragonthatwasreadytopounceuponme，butitopenednowayformyescape。Ihaveoftenwishedmyselfabeast，orabird——anything，ratherthanaslave。Iwaswretchedandgloomy，beyondmyabilitytodescribe。Iwastoothoughtfultobehappy。

Itwasthiseverlastingthinkingwhichdistressedandtormentedme；andyettherewasnogettingridofthesubjectofmythoughts。Allnaturewasredolentofit。Onceawakenedbythesilvertrumpofknowledge，myspiritwasrousedtoeternalwakefulness。Liberty！theinestimablebirthrightofeveryman，had，forme，convertedeveryobjectintoanasserterofthisgreatright。Itwasheardineverysound，andbeheldineveryobject。Itwaseverpresent，totormentmewithasenseofmywretchedcondition。Themorebeautifulandcharmingwerethesmilesofnature，themorehorribleanddesolatewasmycondition。Isawnothingwithoutseeingit，andIheardnothingwithouthearingit。Idonotexaggerate，whenIsay，thatitlookedfromeverystar，smiledineverycalm，breathedineverywind，andmovedineverystorm。

Ihavenodoubtthatmystateofmindhadsomethingtodowiththechangeinthetreatmentadopted，bymyoncekindmistresstowardme。Icaneasilybelieve，thatmyleaden，downcast，anddiscontentedlook，wasveryoffensivetoher。Poorlady！Shedidnotknowmytrouble，andIdarednottellher。CouldIhavefreelymadeheracquaintedwiththerealstateofmymind，and<126>givenherthereasonstherefor，itmighthavebeenwellforbothofus。Herabuseofmefelluponmeliketheblowsofthefalseprophetuponhisass；shedidnotknowthatan_angel_

stoodintheway；and——suchistherelationofmasterandslaveI

couldnottellher。Naturehadmadeus_friends；_slaverymadeus_enemies_。Myinterestswereinadirectionoppositetohers，andwebothhadourprivatethoughtsandplans。Sheaimedtokeepmeignorant；andIresolvedtoknow，althoughknowledgeonlyincreasedmydiscontent。MyfeelingswerenottheresultofanymarkedcrueltyinthetreatmentIreceived；theysprungfromtheconsiderationofmybeingaslaveatall。Itwas_slavery_——notitsmere_incidents_——thatIhated。Ihadbeencheated。Isawthroughtheattempttokeepmeinignorance；IsawthatslaveholderswouldhavegladlymademebelievethattheyweremerelyactingundertheauthorityofGod，inmakingaslaveofme，andinmakingslavesofothers；andItreatedthemasrobbersanddeceivers。Thefeedingandclothingmewell，couldnotatonefortakingmylibertyfromme。Thesmilesofmymistresscouldnotremovethedeepsorrowthatdweltinmyyoungbosom。Indeed，these，intime，cameonlytodeepenmysorrow。Shehadchanged；

andthereaderwillseethatIhadchanged，too。Wewerebothvictimstothesameovershadowingevil——_she_，asmistress，I，asslave。Iwillnotcensureherharshly；shecannotcensureme，forsheknowsIspeakbutthetruth，andhaveactedinmyoppositiontoslavery，justassheherselfwouldhaveacted，inareverseofcircumstances。

CHAPTERXII

ReligiousNatureAwakenedABOLITIONISTSSPOKENOF——MYEAGERNESSTOKNOWWHATTHISWORD

MEANT——MYCONSULTATIONOFTHEDICTIONARY——INCENDIARY

INFORMATION——HOWANDWHEREDERIVED——THEENIGMASOLVED——NATHANIEL

TURNER"SINSURRECTION——THECHOLERA——RELIGION——FIRSTAWAKENEDBYA

METHODISTMINISTERNAMEDHANSON——MYDEARANDGOODOLDCOLORED

FRIEND，LAWSON——HISCHARACTERANDOCCUPATION——HISINFLUENCEOVER

ME——OURMUTUALATTACHMENT——THECOMFORTIDERIVEDFROMHIS

TEACHING——NEWHOPESANDASPIRATIONS——HEAVENLYLIGHTAMIDST

EARTHLYDARKNESS——THETWOIRISHMENONTHEWHARF——THEIR

CONVERSATION——HOWILEARNEDTOWRITE——WHATWEREMYAIMS。

Whilstinthepainfulstateofminddescribedintheforegoingchapter，almostregrettingmyveryexistence，becausedoomedtoalifeofbondage，sogoadedandsowretched，attimes，thatIwaseventemptedtodestroymyownlife，Iwaskeenlysensitiveandeagertoknowany，andeverythingthattranspired，havinganyrelationtothesubjectofslavery。Iwasallears，alleyes，wheneverthewords_slave，slavery_，droppedfromthelipsofanywhiteperson，andtheoccasionswerenotunfrequentwhenthesewordsbecameleadingones，inhigh，socialdebate，atourhouse。

Everylittlewhile，IcouldhearMasterHugh，orsomeofhiscompany，speakingwithmuchwarmthandexcitementabout_“abolitionists。“_Of_who_or_what_thesewere，Iwastotallyignorant。Ifound，however，thatwhatevertheymightbe，theyweremostcordiallyhatedandsoundlyabusedbyslaveholders，ofeverygrade。Iverysoondiscovered，too，thatslaverywas，insome<128>sort，underconsideration，whenevertheabolitionistswerealludedto。Thismadethetermaveryinterestingonetome。Ifaslave，forinstance，hadmadegoodhisescapefromslavery，itwasgenerallyalleged，thathehadbeenpersuadedandassistedbytheabolitionists。If，also，aslavekilledhismaster——aswassometimesthecase——orstruckdownhisoverseer，orsetfiretohismaster"sdwelling，orcommittedanyviolenceorcrime，outofthecommonway，itwascertaintobesaid，thatsuchacrimewasthelegitimatefruitsoftheabolitionmovement。

Hearingsuchchargesoftenrepeated，I，naturallyenough，receivedtheimpressionthatabolition——whateverelseitmightbe——couldnotbeunfriendlytotheslave，norveryfriendlytotheslaveholder。Ithereforesetaboutfindingout，ifpossible，_who_and_what_theabolitionistswere，and_why_theyweresoobnoxioustotheslaveholders。Thedictionaryaffordedmeverylittlehelp。Ittaughtmethatabolitionwasthe“actofabolishing；“butitleftmeinignoranceattheverypointwhereImostwantedinformation——andthatwas，astothe_thing_tobeabolished。Acitynewspaper，the_BaltimoreAmerican_，gavemetheincendiaryinformationdeniedmebythedictionary。InitscolumnsIfound，that，onacertainday，avastnumberofpetitionsandmemorialshadbeenpresentedtocongress，prayingfortheabolitionofslaveryintheDistrictofColumbia，andfortheabolitionoftheslavetradebetweenthestatesoftheUnion。

Thiswasenough。Thevindictivebitterness，themarkedcaution，thestudiedreverse，andthecumbrousambiguity，practicedbyourwhitefolks，whenalludingtothissubject，wasnowfullyexplained。Ever，afterthat，whenIheardthewords“abolition，“

or“abolitionmovement，“mentioned，Ifeltthematteroneofapersonalconcern；andIdrewneartolisten，whenIcoulddoso，withoutseemingtoosolicitousandprying。TherewasHOPEinthosewords。Everandanon，too，Icouldseesometerribledenunciationofslavery，inourpapers——copiedfromabolitionpapersatthenorth——andtheinjusticeofsuchdenunciationcommentedon。TheseIreadwithavidity。<129ABOLITIONISM——THE

ENIGMASOLVED>Ihadadeepsatisfactioninthethought，thattherascalityofslaveholderswasnotconcealedfromtheeyesoftheworld，andthatIwasnotaloneinabhorringthecrueltyandbrutalityofslavery。Astilldeepertrainofthoughtwasstirred。Isawthattherewas_fear_，aswellas_rage_，inthemannerofspeakingoftheabolitionists。Thelatter，therefore，Iwascompelledtoregardashavingsomepowerinthecountry；

andIfeltthattheymight，possibly，succeedintheirdesigns。

WhenImetwithaslavetowhomIdeemeditsafetotalkonthesubject，IwouldimparttohimsomuchofthemysteryasIhadbeenabletopenetrate。Thus，thelightofthisgrandmovementbrokeinuponmymind，bydegrees；andImustsay，that，ignorantasIthenwasofthephilosophyofthatmovement，Ibelieveinitfromthefirst——andIbelievedinit，partly，becauseIsawthatitalarmedtheconsciencesofslaveholders。TheinsurrectionofNathanielTurnerhadbeenquelled，butthealarmandterrorhadnotsubsided。Thecholerawasonitsway，andthethoughtwaspresent，thatGodwasangrywiththewhitepeoplebecauseoftheirslaveholdingwickedness，and，therefore，hisjudgmentswereabroadintheland。Itwasimpossibleformenottohopemuchfromtheabolitionmovement，whenIsawitsupportedbytheAlmighty，andarmedwithDEATH！

Previoustomycontemplationoftheanti-slaverymovement，anditsprobableresults，mymindhadbeenseriouslyawakenedtothesubjectofreligion。Iwasnotmorethanthirteenyearsold，whenIfelttheneedofGod，asafatherandprotector。MyreligiousnaturewasawakenedbythepreachingofawhiteMethodistminister，namedHanson。Hethoughtthatallmen，greatandsmall，bondandfree，weresinnersinthesightofGod；thattheywere，bynature，rebelsagainstHisgovernment；andthattheymustrepentoftheirsins，andbereconciledtoGod，throughChrist。IcannotsaythatIhadaverydistinctnotionofwhatwasrequiredofme；butonethingIknewverywell——Iwaswretched，andhadnomeansofmakingmyselfotherwise。Moreover，IknewthatIcouldprayforlight。Iconsultedagoodcoloredman，named<130>CharlesJohnson；and，intonesofholyaffection，hetoldmetopray，andwhattoprayfor。Iwas，forweeks，apoor，brokenheartedmourner，travelingthroughthedarknessandmiseryofdoubtsandfears。Ifinallyfoundthatchangeofheartwhichcomesby“castingallone"scare“uponGod，andbyhavingfaithinJesusChrist，astheRedeemer，Friend，andSaviorofthosewhodiligentlyseekHim。

Afterthis，Isawtheworldinanewlight。Iseemedtoliveinanewworld，surroundedbynewobjects，andtobeanimatedbynewhopesanddesires。Ilovedallmankind——slaveholdersnotexcepted；thoughIabhorredslaverymorethanever。Mygreatconcernwas，now，tohavetheworldconverted。Thedesireforknowledgeincreased，andespeciallydidIwantathoroughacquaintancewiththecontentsofthebible。Ihavegatheredscatteredpagesfromthisholybook，fromthefilthystreetguttersofBaltimore，andwashedanddriedthem，thatinthemomentsofmyleisure，Imightgetawordortwoofwisdomfromthem。Whilethusreligiouslyseekingknowledge，Ibecameacquaintedwithagoodoldcoloredman，namedLawson。Amoredevoutmanthanhe，Ineversaw。HedroveadrayforMr。JamesRamsey，theownerofarope-walkonFell"sPoint，Baltimore。

Thismannotonlyprayedthreetimeaday，butheprayedashewalkedthroughthestreets，athiswork——onhisdrayeverywhere。

Hislifewasalifeofprayer，andhiswords(whenhespoketohisfriends，)wereaboutabetterworld。UncleLawsonlivednearMasterHugh"shouse；and，becomingdeeplyattachedtotheoldman，Iwentoftenwithhimtoprayer-meeting，andspentmuchofmyleisuretimewithhimonSunday。Theoldmancouldreadalittle，andIwasagreathelptohim，inmakingoutthehardwords，forIwasabetterreaderthanhe。Icouldteachhim_“theletter，“_buthecouldteachme_“thespirit；“_andhigh，refreshingtimeswehadtogether，insinging，prayingandglorifyingGod。ThesemeetingswithUncleLawsonwentonforalongtime，withouttheknowledgeofMasterHughormymistress。

Bothknew，how<131FATHERLAWSON——OURATTACHMENT>ever，thatIhadbecomereligious，andtheyseemedtorespectmyconscientiouspiety。Mymistresswasstillaprofessorofreligion，andbelongedtoclass。HerleaderwasnolessapersonthantheRev。

BeverlyWaugh，thepresidingelder，andnowoneofthebishopsoftheMethodistEpiscopalchurch。Mr。WaughwasthenstationedoverWilkstreetchurch。Iamcarefultostatethesefacts，thatthereadermaybeabletoformanideaofthepreciseinfluenceswhichhadtodowithshapinganddirectingmymind。

Inviewofthecaresandanxietiesincidenttothelifeshewasthenleading，and，especially，inviewoftheseparationfromreligiousassociationstowhichshewassubjected，mymistresshad，asIhavebeforestated，becomelukewarm，andneededtobelookedupbyherleader。ThisbroughtMr。Waughtoourhouse，andgavemeanopportunitytohearhimexhortandpray。Butmychiefinstructor，inmattersofreligion，wasUncleLawson。Hewasmyspiritualfather；andIlovedhimintensely，andwasathishouseeverychanceIgot。

Thispleasurewasnotlongallowedme。MasterHughbecameaversetomygoingtoFatherLawson"s，andthreatenedtowhipmeifI

everwentthereagain。Inowfeltmyselfpersecutedbyawickedman；andI_would_gotoFatherLawson"s，notwithstandingthethreat。Thegoodoldmanhadtoldme，thatthe“Lordhadagreatworkformetodo；“andImustpreparetodoit；andthathehadbeenshownthatImustpreachthegospel。Hiswordsmadeadeepimpressiononmymind，andIverilyfeltthatsomesuchworkwasbeforeme，thoughIcouldnotsee_how_Ishouldeverengageinitsperformance。“ThegoodLord，“hesaid，“wouldbringittopassinhisowngoodtime，“andthatImustgoonreadingandstudyingthescriptures。TheadviceandthesuggestionsofUncleLawson，werenotwithouttheirinfluenceuponmycharacteranddestiny。Hethrewmythoughtsintoachannelfromwhichtheyhaveneverentirelydiverged。Hefannedmyalreadyintenseloveofknowledgeintoaflame，byassuringmethatIwastobeausefulmanintheworld。WhenIwould<132>saytohim，“Howcanthesethingsbeandwhatcan_I_do？“hissimplereplywas，_“TrustintheLord。“_WhenItoldhimthat“Iwasaslave，andaslaveFORLIFE，“hesaid，“theLordcanmakeyoufree，mydear。

Allthingsarepossiblewithhim，only_havefaithinGod。“_

“Ask，anditshallbegiven。““Ifyouwantliberty，“saidthegoodoldman，“asktheLordforit，_infaith_，ANDHEWILLGIVE

ITTOYOU。“

Thusassured，andcheeredon，undertheinspirationofhope，I

workedandprayedwithalightheart，believingthatmylifewasundertheguidanceofawisdomhigherthanmyown。Withallotherblessingssoughtatthemercyseat，IalwaysprayedthatGodwould，ofHisgreatmercy，andinHisowngoodtime，delivermefrommybondage。

Iwent，oneday，onthewharfofMr。Waters；andseeingtwoIrishmenunloadingalargescowofstone，orballastIwentonboard，unasked，andhelpedthem。Whenwehadfinishedthework，oneofthemencametome，aside，andaskedmeanumberofquestions，andamongthem，ifIwereaslave。Itoldhim“Iwasaslave，andaslaveforlife。“ThegoodIrishmangavehisshouldersashrug，andseemeddeeplyaffectedbythestatement。

Hesaid，“itwasapitysofinealittlefellowasmyselfshouldbeaslaveforlife。“Theybothhadmuchtosayaboutthematter，andexpressedthedeepestsympathywithme，andthemostdecidedhatredofslavery。TheywentsofarastotellmethatI

oughttorunaway，andgotothenorth；thatIshouldfindfriendsthere，andthatIwouldbeasfreeasanybody。I，however，pretendednottobeinterestedinwhattheysaid，forI

fearedtheymightbetreacherous。Whitemenhavebeenknowntoencourageslavestoescape，andthen——togetthereward——theyhavekidnappedthem，andreturnedthemtotheirmasters。AndwhileImainlyinclinedtothenotionthatthesemenwerehonestandmeantmenoill，Ifeareditmightbeotherwise。I

neverthelessrememberedtheirwordsandtheiradvice，andlookedforwardtoanescapetothenorth，asapossiblemeansofgainingtheliberty<133HOWILEARNEDTOWRITE>forwhichmyheartpanted。Itwasnotmyenslavement，atthethenpresenttime，thatmostaffectedme；thebeingaslave_forlife_，wasthesaddestthought。Iwastooyoungtothinkofrunningawayimmediately；besides，Iwishedtolearnhowtowrite，beforegoing，asImighthaveoccasiontowritemyownpass。Inownotonlyhadthehopeoffreedom，butaforeshadowingofthemeansbywhichImight，someday，gainthatinestimableboon。Meanwhile，Iresolvedtoaddtomyeducationalattainmentstheartofwriting。

AfterthismannerIbegantolearntowrite:Iwasmuchintheshipyard——MasterHugh"s，andthatofDurgan&Bailey——andI

observedthatthecarpenters，afterhewingandgettingapieceoftimberreadyforuse，wroteonittheinitialsofthenameofthatpartoftheshipforwhichitwasintended。When，forinstance，apieceoftimberwasreadyforthestarboardside，itwasmarkedwithacapital“S。“Apieceforthelarboardsidewasmarked“L；“larboardforward，“L。F。；“larboardaft，wasmarked“L。A。；“starboardaft，“S。A。；“andstarboardforward“S。F。“I

soonlearnedtheseletters，andforwhattheywereplacedonthetimbers。

Myworkwasnow，tokeepfireunderthesteambox，andtowatchtheshipyardwhilethecarpentershadgonetodinner。Thisintervalgavemeafineopportunityforcopyingthelettersnamed。IsoonastonishedmyselfwiththeeasewithwhichImadetheletters；andthethoughtwassoonpresent，“ifIcanmakefour，Icanmakemore。“Buthavingmadetheseeasily，whenImetboysaboutBethelchurch，oranyofourplay-grounds，Ienteredthelistswiththemintheartofwriting，andwouldmaketheletterswhichIhadbeensofortunateastolearn，andaskthemto“beatthatiftheycould。“Withplaymatesformyteachers，fencesandpavementsformycopybooks，andchalkformypenandink，Ilearnedtheartofwriting。I，however，afterwardadoptedvariousmethodsofimprovingmyhand。Themostsuccessful，wascopyingthe_italics_inWebster"sspellingbook，until<134>I

couldmakethemallwithoutlookingonthebook。Bythistime，mylittle“MasterTommy“hadgrowntobeabigboy，andhadwrittenoveranumberofcopybooks，andbroughtthemhome。Theyhadbeenshowntotheneighbors，hadelicitedduepraise，andwerenowlaidcarefullyaway。Spendingmytimebetweentheshipyardandhouse，Iwasasoftenthelonekeeperofthelatterasoftheformer。Whenmymistressleftmeinchargeofthehouse，Ihadagrandtime；IgotMasterTommy"scopybooksandapenandink，and，intheamplespacesbetweenthelines，Iwroteotherlines，asnearlylikehisaspossible。Theprocesswasatediousone，andIrantheriskofgettingafloggingformarringthehighlyprizedcopybooksoftheoldestson。Inadditiontothoseopportunities，sleeping，asIdid，inthekitchenloft——aroomseldomvisitedbyanyofthefamily——Igotaflourbarrelupthere，andachair；andupontheheadofthatbarrelIhavewritten(orendeavoredtowrite)copyingfromthebibleandtheMethodisthymnbook，andotherbookswhichhadaccumulatedonmyhands，tilllateatnight，andwhenallthefamilywereinbedandasleep。Iwassupportedinmyendeavorsbyrenewedadvice，andbyholypromisesfromthegoodFatherLawson，withwhomI

continuedtomeet，andpray，andreadthescriptures。AlthoughMasterHughwasawareofmygoingthere，Imustsay，forhiscredit，thatheneverexecutedhisthreattowhipme，forhavingthus，innocently，employed-myleisuretime。

CHAPTERXIII

TheVicissitudesofSlaveLifeDEATHOFOLDMASTER"SSONRICHARD，SPEEDILYFOLLOWEDBYTHATOF

OLDMASTER——VALUATIONANDDIVISIONOFALLTHEPROPERTY，INCLUDING

THESLAVES——MYPRESENCEREQUIREDATHILLSBOROUGHTOBEAPPRAISED

ANDALLOTTEDTOANEWOWNER——MYSADPROSPECTSANDGRIEF——

PARTING——THEUTTERPOWERLESSNESSOFTHESLAVESTODECIDETHEIR

OWNDESTINY——AGENERALDREADOFMASTERANDREW——HISWICKEDNESSAND

CRUELTY——MISSLUCRETIAMYNEWOWNER——MYRETURNTOBALTIMORE——JOY

UNDERTHEROOFOFMASTERHUGH——DEATHOFMRS。LUCRETIA——MYPOOR

OLDGRANDMOTHER——HERSADFATE——THELONECOTINTHEWOODS——MASTER

THOMASAULD"SSECONDMARRIAGE——AGAINREMOVEDFROMMASTERHUGH"S——

REASONSFORREGRETTINGTHECHANGE——APLANOFESCAPEENTERTAINED。

Imustnowaskthereadertogowithmealittlebackinpointoftime，inmyhumblestory，andtonoticeanothercircumstancethatenteredintomyslaveryexperience，andwhich，doubtless，hashadashareindeepeningmyhorrorofslavery，andincreasingmyhostilitytowardthosemenandmeasuresthatpracticallyupholdtheslavesystem。

Ithasalreadybeenobserved，thatthoughIwas，aftermyremovalfromCol。Lloyd"splantation，in_form_theslaveofMasterHugh，Iwas，in_fact_，andin_law_，theslaveofmyoldmaster，Capt。

Anthony。Verywell。

InaveryshorttimeafterIwenttoBaltimore，myoldmaster"syoungestson，Richard，died；and，inthreeyearsandsixmonthsafterhisdeath，myoldmasterhimselfdied，leavingonlyhisson，Andrew，andhisdaughter，Lucretia，tosharehisestate。

The<136>oldmandiedwhileonavisittohisdaughter，inHillsborough，whereCapt。AuldandMrs。Lucretianowlived。Theformer，havinggivenupthecommandofCol。Lloyd"ssloop，wasnowkeepingastoreinthattown。

Cutoff，thusunexpectedly，Capt。Anthonydiedintestate；andhispropertymustnowbeequallydividedbetweenhistwochildren，AndrewandLucretia。

Thevaluationandthedivisionofslaves，amongcontendingheirs，isanimportantincidentinslavelife。Thecharacterandtendenciesoftheheirs，aregenerallywellunderstoodamongtheslaveswhoaretobedivided，andallhavetheiraversionsandpreferences。But，neithertheiraversionsnortheirpreferencesavailthemanything。

Onthedeathofoldmaster，Iwasimmediatelysentfor，tobevaluedanddividedwiththeotherproperty。Personally，myconcernwas，mainly，aboutmypossibleremovalfromthehomeofMasterHugh，which，afterthatofmygrandmother，wasthemostendearedtome。But，thewholething，asafeatureofslavery，shockedme。ItfurnishedmeanewinsightintotheunnaturalpowertowhichIwassubjected。Mydetestationofslavery，alreadygreat，rosewiththisnewconceptionofitsenormity。

Thatwasasaddayforme，asaddayforlittleTommy，andasaddayformydearBaltimoremistressandteacher，whenIleftfortheEasternShore，tobevaluedanddivided。We，allthree，weptbitterlythatday；forwemightbeparting，andwefearedwewereparting，forever。NoonecouldtellamongwhichpileofchattelsIshouldbeflung。Thusearly，Igotaforetasteofthatpainfuluncertaintywhichslaverybringstotheordinarylotofmortals。

Sickness，adversityanddeathmayinterferewiththeplansandpurposesofall；buttheslavehastheaddeddangerofchanginghomes，changinghands，andofhavingseparationsunknowntoothermen。Then，too，therewastheintensifieddegradationofthespectacle。Whatanassemblage！Menandwomen，youngandold，marriedandsingle；moralandintellectualbeings，inopencontemptoftheirhumanity，levelatablowwith<137DIVISIONOF

OLDMASTER"SPROPERTY>horses，sheep，hornedcattleandswine！

Horsesandmen——cattleandwomen——pigsandchildren——allholdingthesamerankinthescaleofsocialexistence；andallsubjectedtothesamenarrowinspection，toascertaintheirvalueingoldandsilver——theonlystandardofworthappliedbyslaveholderstoslaves！Howvividly，atthatmoment，didthebrutalizingpowerofslaveryflashbeforeme！Personalityswallowedupinthesordidideaofproperty！Manhoodlostinchattelhood！

Afterthevaluation，thencamethedivision。Thiswasanhourofhighexcitementanddistressinganxiety。Ourdestinywasnowtobe_fixedforlife_，andwehadnomorevoiceinthedecisionofthequestion，thantheoxenandcowsthatstoodchewingatthehaymow。Onewordfromtheappraisers，againstallpreferencesorprayers，wasenoughtosunderallthetiesoffriendshipandaffection，andeventoseparatehusbandsandwives，parentsandchildren。Wewereallappalledbeforethatpower，which，tohumanseeming，couldblessorblastusinamoment。Addedtothedreadofseparation，mostpainfultothemajorityoftheslaves，weallhadadecidedhorrorofthethoughtoffallingintothehandsofMasterAndrew。Hewasdistinguishedforcrueltyandintemperance。

Slavesgenerallydreadtofallintothehandsofdrunkenowners。

MasterAndrewwasalmostaconfirmedsot，andhadalready，byhisrecklessmismanagementandprofligatedissipation，wastedalargeportionofoldmaster"sproperty。Tofallintohishands，was，therefore，consideredmerelyasthefirststeptowardbeingsoldawaytothefarsouth。Hewouldspendhisfortuneinafewyears，andhisfarmsandslaveswouldbesold，wethought，atpublicoutcry；andweshouldbehurriedawaytothecottonfields，andriceswamps，ofthesunnysouth。Thiswasthecauseofdeepconsternation。

Thepeopleofthenorth，andfreepeoplegenerally，Ithink，havelessattachmenttotheplaceswheretheyarebornandbroughtup，thanhavetheslaves。Theirfreedomtogoandcome，<138>tobehereandthere，astheylist，preventsanyextravagantattachmenttoanyoneparticularplace，intheircase。Ontheotherhand，theslaveisafixture；hehasnochoice，nogoal，nodestination；butispeggeddowntoasinglespot，andmusttakeroothere，ornowhere。Theideaofremovalelsewhere，comes，generally，intheshapeofathreat，andinpunishmentofcrime。

Itis，therefore，attendedwithfearanddread。Aslaveseldomthinksofbetteringhisconditionbybeingsold，andhencehelooksuponseparationfromhisnativeplace，withnoneoftheenthusiasmwhichanimatesthebosomsofyoungfreemen，whentheycontemplatealifeinthefarwest，orinsomedistantcountrywheretheyintendtorisetowealthanddistinction。Norcanthosefromwhomtheyseparate，givethemupwiththatcheerfulnesswithwhichfriendsandrelationsyieldeachotherup，whentheyfeelthatitisforthegoodofthedepartingonethatheisremovedfromhisnativeplace。Then，too，thereiscorrespondence，andthereis，atleast，thehopeofreunion，becausereunionis_possible_。But，withtheslave，allthesemitigatingcircumstancesarewanting。Thereisnoimprovementinhiscondition_probable_，——nocorrespondence_possible_，——noreunionattainable。Hisgoingoutintotheworld，islikealivingmangoingintothetomb，who，withopeneyes，seeshimselfburiedoutofsightandhearingofwife，childrenandfriendsofkindredtie。

Incontemplatingthelikelihoodsandpossibilitiesofourcircumstances，Iprobablysufferedmorethanmostofmyfellowservants。Ihadknownwhatitwastoexperiencekind，andeventendertreatment；theyhadknownnothingofthesort。Life，tothem，hadbeenroughandthorny，aswellasdark。Theyhad——mostofthem——livedonmyoldmaster"sfarminTuckahoe，andhadfeltthereignofMr。Plummer"srule。Theoverseerhadwrittenhischaracteronthelivingparchmentofmostoftheirbacks，andleftthemcallous；myback(thankstomyearlyremovalfromtheplantationtoBaltimore)wasyettender。Ihadleftakindmistress<139MYSADPROSPECTSANDGRIEF>atBaltimore，whowasalmostamothertome。Shewasintearswhenweparted，andtheprobabilitiesofeverseeingheragain，tremblinginthebalanceastheydid，couldnotbeviewedwithoutalarmandagony。Thethoughtofleavingthatkindmistressforever，and，worsestill，ofbeingtheslaveofAndrewAnthony——amanwho，butafewdaysbeforethedivisionoftheproperty，had，inmypresence，seizedmybrotherPerrybythethroat，dashedhimontheground，andwiththeheelofhisbootstampedhimonthehead，untilthebloodgushedfromhisnoseandears——wasterrible！Thisfiendishproceedinghadnobetterapologythanthefact，thatPerryhadgonetoplay，whenMasterAndrewwantedhimforsometriflingservice。Thiscruelty，too，wasofapiecewithhisgeneralcharacter。Afterinflictinghisheavyblowsonmybrother，onobservingmelookingathimwithintenseastonishment，hesaid，“_That_isthewayIwillserveyou，oneofthesedays；“meaning，nodoubt，whenIshouldcomeintohispossession。Thisthreat，thereadermaywellsuppose，wasnotverytranquilizingtomyfeelings。Icouldseethathereallythirstedtogetholdofme。

ButIwasthereonlyforafewdays。Ihadnotreceivedanyorders，andhadviolatednone，andtherewas，therefore，noexcuseforfloggingme。

Atlast，theanxietyandsuspensewereended；andtheyended，thankstoakindProvidence，inaccordancewithmywishes。I

felltotheportionofMrs。Lucretia——thedearladywhoboundupmyhead，whenthesavageAuntKatywasaddingtomysufferingsherbitterestmaledictions。

Capt。ThomasAuldandMrs。LucretiaatoncedecidedonmyreturntoBaltimore。TheyknewhowsincerelyandwarmlyMrs。HughAuldwasattachedtome，andhowdelightedMr。Hugh"ssonwouldbetohavemeback；and，withal，havingnoimmediateuseforonesoyoung，theywillinglyletmeofftoBaltimore。

IneednotstopheretonarratemyjoyonreturningtoBaltimore，northatoflittleTommy；northetearfuljoyofhismother；

<140>northeevidentsaticfaction{sic}ofMasterHugh。IwasjustonemonthabsentfromBaltimore，beforethematterwasdecided；andthetimereallyseemedfullsixmonths。

Onetroubleover，andoncomesanother。Theslave"slifeisfullofuncertainty。IhadreturnedtoBaltimorebutashorttime，whenthetidingsreachedme，thatmyfriend，Mrs。Lucretia，whowasonlysecondinmyregardtoMrs。HughAuld，wasdead，leavingherhusbandandonlyonechild——adaughter，namedAmanda。

ShortlyafterthedeathofMrs。Lucretia，strangetosay，MasterAndrewdied，leavinghiswifeandonechild。Thus，thewholefamilyofAnthonyswassweptaway；onlytwochildrenremained。

AllthishappenedwithinfiveyearsofmyleavingCol。Lloyd"s。

Noalterationtookplaceintheconditionoftheslaves，inconsequenceofthesedeaths，yetIcouldnothelpfeelinglesssecure，afterthedeathofmyfriend，Mrs。Lucretia，thanIhaddoneduringherlife。Whileshelived，IfeltthatIhadastrongfriendtopleadformeinanyemergency。Tenyearsago，whilespeakingofthestateofthingsinourfamily，aftertheeventsjustnamed，Iusedthislanguage:

Nowallthepropertyofmyoldmaster，slavesincluded，wasinthehandsofstrangers——strangerswhohadnothingtodoinaccumulatingit。Notaslavewasleftfree。Allremainedslaves，fromyoungesttooldest。Ifanyonethinginmyexperience，morethananother，servedtodeepenmyconvictionoftheinfernalcharacterofslavery，andtofillmewithunutterableloathingofslaveholders，itwastheirbaseingratitudetomypooroldgrandmother。Shehadservedmyoldmasterfaithfullyfromyouthtooldage。Shehadbeenthesourceofallhiswealth；shehadpeopledhisplantationwithslaves；

shehadbecomeagreat-grandmotherinhisservice。Shehadrockedhimininfancy，attendedhiminchildhood，servedhimthroughlife，andathisdeathwipedfromhisicybrowthecolddeath-sweat，andclosedhiseyesforever。Shewasneverthelessleftaslave——aslaveforlife——aslaveinthehandsofstrangers；andintheirhandsshesawherchildren，hergrandchildren，andhergreat-grandchildren，divided，likesomanysheep，withoutbeinggratifiedwiththesmallprivilegeofasingleword，astotheirorherowndestiny。And，tocaptheclimaxoftheirbaseingratitudeandfiendishbarbarity，mygrandmother，whowasnowveryold，havingoutlivedmyoldmasterandallhischildren，havingseenthebeginningandendofallofthem，andherpresentownersfindingshe<141DEATHOFMRS。

LUCRETIA>wasofbutlittlevalue，herframealreadyrackedwiththepainsofoldage，andcompletehelplessnessfaststealingoverheronceactivelimbs，theytookhertothewoods，builtheralittlehut，putupalittlemud-chimney，andthenmadeherwelcometotheprivilegeofsupportingherselfthereinperfectloneliness；thusvirtuallyturningherouttodie！Ifmypooroldgrandmothernowlives，shelivestosufferinutterloneliness；shelivestorememberandmournoverthelossofchildren，thelossofgrandchildren，andthelossofgreat-

grandchildren。Theyare，inthelanguageoftheslave"spoet，Whittier——

_Gone，gone，soldandgone，Tothericeswampdankandlone，Wheretheslave-whipceaselessswings，Wherethenoisomeinsectstings，Wherethefever-demonstrewsPoisonwiththefallingdews，WherethesicklysunbeamsglareThroughthehotandmistyair:——

Gone，gone，soldandgoneTothericeswampdankandlone，FromVirginiahillsandwaters——

Woeisme，mystolendaughters_！

Thehearthisdesolate。Thechildren，theunconsciouschildren，whooncesanganddancedinherpresence，aregone。Shegropesherway，inthedarknessofage，foradrinkofwater。Insteadofthevoicesofherchildren，shehearsbydaythemoansofthedove，andbynightthescreamsofthehideousowl。Allisgloom。

Thegraveisatthedoor。Andnow，whenweigheddownbythepainsandachesofoldage，whentheheadinclinestothefeet，whenthebeginningandendingofhumanexistencemeet，andhelplessinfancyandpainfuloldagecombinetogether——atthistime，thismostneedfultime，thetimefortheexerciseofthattendernessandaffectionwhichchildrenonlycanexercisetowardadecliningparent——mypooroldgrandmother，thedevotedmotheroftwelvechildren，isleftallalone，inyonderlittlehut，beforeafewdimembers。

TwoyearsafterthedeathofMrs。Lucretia，MasterThomasmarriedhissecondwife。HernamewasRowenaHamilton，theeldestdaughterofMr。WilliamHamilton，arichslaveholderontheEasternShoreofMaryland，wholivedaboutfivemilesfromSt。

Michael"s，thethenplaceofmymaster"sresidence。

Notlongafterhismarriage，MasterThomashadamisunderstandingwithMasterHugh，and，asameansofpunishinghisbrother，heorderedhimtosendmehome。

<142>

Asthegroundofmisunderstandingwillservetoillustratethecharacterofsouthernchivalry，andhumanity，Iwillrelateit。

AmongthechildrenofmyAuntMilly，wasadaughter，namedHenny。

Whenquiteachild，Hennyhadfallenintothefire，andburntherhandssobadthattheywereofverylittleusetoher。Herfingersweredrawnalmostintothepalmsofherhands。Shecouldmakeouttodosomething，butshewasconsideredhardlyworththehaving——oflittlemorevaluethanahorsewithabrokenleg。

Thisunprofitablepieceofhumanproperty，illshapen，anddisfigured，Capt。AuldsentofftoBaltimore，makinghisbrotherHughwelcometoherservices。

AftergivingpoorHennyafairtrial，MasterHughandhiswifecametotheconclusion，thattheyhadnouseforthecrippledservant，andtheysentherbacktoMasterThomas。Thus，thelattertookasanactofingratitude，onthepartofhisbrother；

and，asamarkofhisdispleasure，herequiredhimtosendmeimmediatelytoSt。Michael"s，saying，ifhecannotkeep_“Hen，“_

heshallnothave_“Fred。“_

Herewasanothershocktomynerves，anotherbreakingupofmyplans，andanotherseveranceofmyreligiousandsocialalliances。Iwasnowabigboy。Ihadbecomequiteusefultoseveralyoungcoloredmen，whohadmademetheirteacher。Ihadtaughtsomeofthemtoread，andwasaccustomedtospendmanyofmyleisurehourswiththem。Ourattachmentwasstrong，andI

greatlydreadedtheseparation。Butregrets，especiallyinaslave，areunavailing。Iwasonlyaslave；mywisheswerenothing，andmyhappinesswasthesportofmymasters。

MyregretsatnowleavingBaltimore，werenotforthesamereasonsaswhenIbeforeleftthatcity，tobevaluedandhandedovertomyproperowner。Myhomewasnotnowthepleasantplaceithadformerlybeen。Achangehadtakenplace，bothinMasterHugh，andinhisoncepiousandaffectionatewife。Theinfluenceofbrandyandbadcompanyonhim，andtheinfluenceofslaveryandsocialisolationuponher，hadwroughtdisastrouslyuponthe<143REASONSFORREGRETTINGTHECHANGE>charactersofboth。

Thomaswasnolonger“littleTommy，“butwasabigboy，andhadlearnedtoassumetheairsofhisclasstowardme。Mycondition，therefore，inthehouseofMasterHugh，wasnot，byanymeans，socomfortableasinformeryears。Myattachmentswerenowoutsideofourfamily。TheywerefelttothosetowhomI_imparted_

instruction，andtothoselittlewhiteboysfromwhomI

_received_instruction。There，too，wasmydearoldfather，thepiousLawson，whowas，inchristiangraces，theverycounterpartof“Uncle“Tom。Theresemblanceissoperfect，thathemighthavebeentheoriginalofMrs。Stowe"schristianhero。Thethoughtofleavingthesedearfriends，greatlytroubledme，forI

wasgoingwithoutthehopeofeverreturningtoBaltimoreagain；

thefeudbetweenMasterHughandhisbrotherbeingbitterandirreconcilable，or，atleast，supposedtobeso。

InadditiontothoughtsoffriendsfromwhomIwasparting，asI

supposed，_forever_，Ihadthegriefofneglectedchancesofescapetobroodover。Ihadputoffrunningaway，untilnowI

wastobeplacedwheretheopportunitiesforescapingweremuchfewerthaninalargecitylikeBaltimore。

OnmywayfromBaltimoretoSt。Michael"s，downtheChesapeakebay，oursloop——the“Amanda“——waspassedbythesteamersplyingbetweenthatcityandPhiladelphia，andIwatchedthecourseofthosesteamers，and，whilegoingtoSt。Michael"s，Iformedaplantoescapefromslavery；ofwhichplan，andmattersconnectedtherewiththekindreadershalllearnmorehereafter。

CHAPTERXIV

ExperienceinSt。Michael"sTHEVILLAGE——ITSINHABITANTS——THEIROCCUPATIONANDLOW

PROPENSITIESCAPTAN{sic}THOMASAULD——HISCHARACTER——HISSECOND

WIFE，ROWENA——WELLMATCHED——SUFFERINGSFROMHUNGER——OBLIGEDTO

TAKEFOOD——MODEOFARGUMENTINVINDICATIONTHEREOF——NOMORALCODE

OFFREESOCIETYCANAPPLYTOSLAVESOCIETY——SOUTHERNCAMP

MEETING——WHATMASTERTHOMASDIDTHERE——HOPES——SUSPICIONSABOUT

HISCONVERSION——THERESULT——FAITHANDWORKSENTIRELYAT

VARIANCE——HISRISEANDPROGRESSINTHECHURCH——POORCOUSIN

“HENNY“——HISTREATMENTOFHER——THEMETHODISTPREACHERS——THEIR

UTTERDISREGARDOFUS——ONEEXCELLENTEXCEPTION——REV。GEORGE

COOKMAN——SABBATHSCHOOL——HOWBROKENUPANDBYWHOM——AFUNERAL

PALLCASTOVERALLMYPROSPECTS——COVEYTHENEGRO-BREAKER。

St。Michael"s，thevillageinwhichwasnowmynewhome，comparedfavorablywithvillagesinslavestates，generally。Therewereafewcomfortabledwellingsinit，buttheplace，asawhole，woreadull，slovenly，enterprise-forsakenaspect。Themassofthebuildingswerewood；theyhadneverenjoyedtheartificialadornmentofpaint，andtimeandstormshadwornoffthebrightcolorofthewood，leavingthemalmostasblackasbuildingscharredbyaconflagration。

St。Michael"shad，informeryears，(previousto1833，forthatwastheyearIwenttoresidethere，)enjoyedsomereputationasashipbuildingcommunity，butthatbusinesshadalmostentirelygivenplacetooysterfishing，fortheBaltimoreandPhiladelphiamarkets——acourseoflifehighlyunfavorabletomorals，industry，andmanners。Milesriverwasbroad，anditsoysterfishing<145

ARRIVALATST。MICHAEL"S>groundswereextensive；andthefishermenwereout，often，allday，andapartofthenight，duringautumn，winterandspring。Thisexposurewasanexcuseforcarryingwiththem，inconsiderablequanties{sic}，spirituousliquors，thethensupposedbestantidoteforcold。Eachcanoewassuppliedwithitsjugofrum；andtippling，amongthisclassofthecitizensofSt。Michael"s，becamegeneral。Thisdrinkinghabit，inanignorantpopulation，fosteredcoarseness，vulgarityandanindolentdisregardforthesocialimprovementoftheplace，sothatitwasadmitted，bythefewsober，thinkingpeoplewhoremainedthere，thatSt。Michael"shadbecomeavery_unsaintly_，aswellasunsightlyplace，beforeIwenttheretoreside。

IleftBaltimoreforSt。Michael"sinthemonthofMarch，1833。

Iknowtheyear，becauseitwastheonesucceedingthefirstcholerainBaltimore，andwastheyear，also，ofthatstrangephenomenon，whentheheavensseemedabouttopartwithitsstarrytrain。Iwitnessedthisgorgeousspectacle，andwasawe-struck。

Theairseemedfilledwithbright，descendingmessengersfromthesky。ItwasaboutdaybreakwhenIsawthissublimescene。Iwasnotwithoutthesuggestion，atthemoment，thatitmightbetheharbingerofthecomingoftheSonofMan；and，inmythenstateofmind，IwaspreparedtohailHimasmyfriendanddeliverer。

Ihadread，thatthe“starsshallfallfromheaven“；andtheywerenowfalling。Iwassufferingmuchinmymind。Itdidseemthateverytimetheyoungtendrilsofmyaffectionbecameattached，theywererudelybrokenbysomeunnaturaloutsidepower；andIwasbeginningtolookawaytoheavenfortherestdeniedmeonearth。

But，tomystory。ItwasnowmorethansevenyearssinceIhadlivedwithMasterThomasAuld，inthefamilyofmyoldmaster，onCol。Lloyd"splantation。Wewerealmostentirestrangerstoeachother；for，whenIknewhimatthehouseofmyoldmaster，itwasnotasa_master_，butsimplyas“CaptainAuld，“whohadmarriedoldmaster"sdaughter。Allmylessonsconcerninghis<146>temperanddisposition，andthebestmethodsofpleasinghim，wereyettobelearnt。Slaveholders，however，arenotveryceremoniousinapproachingaslave；andmyignoranceofthenewmaterialinshapeofamasterwasbuttransient。Norwasmymistresslonginmakingknownheranimus。Shewasnota“MissLucretia，“tracesofwhomIyetremembered，andthemoreespecially，asIsawthemshininginthefaceoflittleAmanda，herdaughter，nowlivingunderastep-mother"sgovernment。Ihadnotforgottenthesofthand，guidedbyatenderheart，thatboundupwithhealingbalsamthegashmadeinmyheadbyIke，thesonofAbel。ThomasandRowena，Ifoundtobeawell-matchedpair。_He_wasstingy，and_she_wascruel；and——whatwasquitenaturalinsuchcases——shepossessedtheabilitytomakehimascruelasherself，whileshecouldeasilydescendtothelevelofhismeanness。InthehouseofMasterThomas，Iwasmade——forthefirsttimeinsevenyearstofeelthepinchingsofhunger，andthiswasnotveryeasytobear。

For，inallthechangesofMasterHugh"sfamily，therewasnochangeinthebountifulnesswithwhichtheysuppliedmewithfood。Nottogiveaslaveenoughtoeat，ismeannessintensified，anditissorecognizedamongslaveholdersgenerally，inMaryland。Theruleis，nomatterhowcoarsethefood，onlylettherebeenoughofit。Thisisthetheory，and——

inthepartofMarylandIcamefrom——thegeneralpracticeaccordswiththistheory。Lloyd"splantationwasanexception，aswas，also，thehouseofMasterThomasAuld。

AllknowthelightnessofIndiancorn-meal，asanarticleoffood，andcaneasilyjudgefromthefollowingfactswhetherthestatementsIhavemadeofthestinginessofMasterThomas，areborneout。Therewerefourslavesofusinthekitchen，andfourwhitesinthegreathouseThomasAuld，Mrs。Auld，HadawayAuld(brotherofThomasAuld)andlittleAmanda。Thenamesoftheslavesinthekitchen，wereEliza，mysister；Priscilla，myaunt；

Henny，mycousin；andmyself。Therewereeightpersons<147

STEALING——MODEOFVINDICATION>inthefamily。Therewas，eachweek，onehalfbushelofcorn-mealbroughtfromthemill；andinthekitchen，corn-mealwasalmostourexclusivefood，forverylittleelsewasallowedus。Outofthisbushelofcorn-meal，thefamilyinthegreathousehadasmallloafeverymorning；thusleavingus，inthekitchen，withnotquiteahalfapeckperweek，apiece。ThisallowancewaslessthanhalftheallowanceoffoodonLloyd"splantation。Itwasnotenoughtosubsistupon；

andwewere，therefore，reducedtothewretchednecessityoflivingattheexpenseofourneighbors。Wewerecompelledeithertobeg，ortosteal，andwedidboth。Ifranklyconfess，thatwhileIhatedeverythinglikestealing，_assuch_，Ineverthelessdidnothesitatetotakefood，whenIwashungry，whereverI

couldfindit。Norwasthispracticethemereresultofanunreasoninginstinct；itwas，inmycase，theresultofaclearapprehensionoftheclaimsofmorality。Iweighedandconsideredthematterclosely，beforeIventuredtosatisfymyhungerbysuchmeans。ConsideringthatmylaborandpersonwerethepropertyofMasterThomas，andthatIwasbyhimdeprivedofthenecessariesoflifenecessariesobtainedbymyownlabor——itwaseasytodeducetherighttosupplymyselfwithwhatwasmyown。

Itwassimplyappropriatingwhatwasmyowntotheuseofmymaster，sincethehealthandstrengthderivedfromsuchfoodwereexertedin_his_service。Tobesure，thiswasstealing，accordingtothelawandgospelIheardfromSt。Michael"spulpit；butIhadalreadybeguntoattachlessimportancetowhatdroppedfromthatquarter，onthatpoint，while，asyet，I

retainedmyreverenceforreligion。Itwasnotalwaysconvenienttostealfrommaster，andthesamereasonwhyImight，innocently，stealfromhim，didnotseemtojustifymeinstealingfromothers。Inthecaseofmymaster，itwasonlyaquestionof_removal_——thetakinghismeatoutofonetub，andputtingitintoanother；theownershipofthemeatwasnotaffectedbythetransaction。Atfirst，heowneditinthe_tub_，andlast，heowneditin_me_。Hismeathousewasnotalwaysopen。Therewasastrictwatchkeptonthat<148>point，andthekeywasonalargebunchinRowena"spocket。Agreatmanytimeshavewe，poorcreatures，beenseverelypinchedwithhunger，whenmeatandbreadhavebeenmouldingunderthelock，whilethekeywasinthepocketofourmistress。Thishadbeensowhenshe_knew_wewerenearlyhalfstarved；andyet，thatmistress，withsaintlyair，wouldkneelwithherhusband，andprayeachmorningthatamercifulGodwouldblesstheminbasketandinstore，andsavethem，atlast，inhiskingdom。ButIproceedwiththeargument。

Itwasnecessarythatrighttostealfrom_others_shouldbeestablished；andthiscouldonlyrestuponawiderrangeofgeneralizationthanthatwhichsupposedtherighttostealfrommymaster。

ItwassometimebeforeIarrivedatthisclearright。Thereaderwillgetsomeideaofmytrainofreasoning，byabriefstatementofthecase。“Iam，“thoughtI，“notonlytheslaveofThomas，butIamtheslaveofsocietyatlarge。Societyatlargehasbounditself，informandinfact，toassistMasterThomasinrobbingmeofmyrightfulliberty，andofthejustrewardofmylabor；therefore，whateverrightsIhaveagainstMasterThomas，I

have，equally，againstthoseconfederatedwithhiminrobbingmeofliberty。Associetyhasmarkedmeoutasprivilegedplunder，ontheprincipleofself-preservationIamjustifiedinplunderinginturn。Sinceeachslavebelongstoall；allmust，therefore，belongtoeach。“

Ishallheremakeaprofessionoffaithwhichmayshocksome，offendothers，andbedissentedfrombyall。Itisthis:Withintheboundsofhisjustearnings，Iholdthattheslaveisfullyjustifiedinhelpinghimselftothe_goldandsilver，andthebestapparelofhismaster，orthatofanyotherslaveholder；andthatsuchtakingisnotstealinginanyjustsenseofthatword_。

Themoralityof_free_societycanhavenoapplicationto_slave_

society。Slaveholdershavemadeitalmostimpossiblefortheslavetocommitanycrime，knowneithertothelawsofGodortothelawsofman。Ifhesteals，hetakeshisown；ifhekillshismaster，<149SELFISHNESSOFMASTERTHOMAS>heimitatesonlytheheroesoftherevolution。SlaveholdersIholdtobeindividuallyandcollectivelyresponsibleforalltheevilswhichgrowoutofthehorridrelation，andIbelievetheywillbesoheldatthejudgment，inthesightofajustGod。Makeamanaslave，andyourobhimofmoralresponsibility。Freedomofchoiceistheessenceofallaccountability。Butmykindreadersare，probably，lessconcernedaboutmyopinions，thanaboutthatwhichmorenearlytouchesmypersonalexperience；albeit，myopinionshave，insomesort，beenformedbythatexperience。

Badasslaveholdersare，Ihaveseldommetwithonesoentirelydestituteofeveryelementofcharactercapableofinspiringrespect，aswasmypresentmaster，Capt。ThomasAuld。

WhenIlivedwithhim，Ithoughthimincapableofanobleaction。

Theleadingtraitinhischaracterwasintenseselfishness。I

thinkhewasfullyawareofthisfacthimself，andoftentriedtoconcealit。Capt。Auldwasnota_born_slaveholder——notabirthrightmemberoftheslaveholdingoligarchy。Hewasonlyaslaveholderby_marriage-right；_and，ofallslaveholders，theselatterare，_byfar_，themostexacting。Therewasinhimalltheloveofdomination，theprideofmastery，andtheswaggerofauthority，buthisrulelackedthevitalelementofconsistency。

Hecouldbecruel；buthismethodsofshowingitwerecowardly，andevincedhismeannessratherthanhisspirit。Hiscommandswerestrong，hisenforcementweak。

Slavesarenotinsensibletothewhole-souledcharacteristicsofagenerous，dashingslaveholder，whoisfearlessofconsequences；

andtheypreferamasterofthisboldanddaringkind——evenwiththeriskofbeingshotdownforimpudencetothefretful，littlesoul，whoneverusesthelashbutatthesuggestionofaloveofgain。

Slaves，too，readilydistinguishbetweenthebirthrightbearingoftheoriginalslaveholderandtheassumedattitudesoftheaccidentalslaveholder；andwhiletheycannotrespecteither，theycertainlydespisethelattermorethantheformer。

<150>

TheluxuryofhavingslaveswaituponhimwassomethingnewtoMasterThomas；andforithewaswhollyunprepared。Hewasaslaveholder，withouttheabilitytoholdormanagehisslaves。

Weseldomcalledhim“master，“butgenerallyaddressedhimbyhis“baycraft“title——_Capt。Auld_。“Itiseasytoseethatsuchconductmightdomuchtomakehimappearawkward，and，consequently，fretful。Hiswifewasespeciallysolicitoustohaveuscallherhusband“master。“Isyour_master_atthestore？“——“Whereisyour_master_？“——“Goandtellyour_master“_——

“Iwillmakeyour_master_acquaintedwithyourconduct“——shewouldsay；butwewereinaptscholars。EspeciallywereIandmysisterElizainaptinthisparticular。AuntPriscillawaslessstubbornanddefiantinherspiritthanElizaandmyself；and，I

think，herroadwaslessroughthanours。

InthemonthofAugust，1833，whenIhadalmostbecomedesperateunderthetreatmentofMasterThomas，andwhenIentertainedmorestronglythanevertheoft-repeateddeterminationtorunaway，acircumstanceoccurredwhichseemedtopromisebrighterandbetterdaysforusall。AtaMethodistcamp-meeting，heldintheBaySide(afamousplaceforcampmeetings)abouteightmilesfromSt。

Michael"s，MasterThomascameoutwithaprofessionofreligion。

Hehadlongbeenanobjectofinteresttothechurch，andtotheministers，asIhadseenbytherepeatedvisitsandlengthyexhortationsofthelatter。Hewasafishquiteworthcatching，forhehadmoneyandstanding。InthecommunityofSt。Michael"shewasequaltothebestcitizen。Hewasstrictlytemperate；

_perhaps_，fromprinciple，butmostlikely，frominterest。Therewasverylittletodoforhim，togivehimtheappearanceofpiety，andtomakehimapillarinthechurch。Well，thecamp-

meetingcontinuedaweek；peoplegatheredfromallpartsofthecounty，andtwosteamboatloadscamefromBaltimore。Thegroundwashappilychosen；seatswerearranged；astanderected；arudealtarfencedin，frontingthepreachers"stand，withstrawinitfortheaccommodationof<151SOUTHERNCAMPMEETING>mourners。

Thislatterwouldholdatleastonehundredpersons。Infront，andonthesidesofthepreachers"stand，andoutsidethelongrowsofseats，rosethefirstclassofstatelytents，eachvieingwiththeotherinstrength，neatness，andcapacityforaccommodatingitsinmates。Behindthisfirstcircleoftentswasanother，lessimposing，whichreachedroundthecamp-groundtothespeakers"stand。Outsidethissecondclassoftentswerecoveredwagons，oxcarts，andvehiclesofeveryshapeandsize。

Theseservedastentstotheirowners。Outsideofthese，hugefireswereburning，inalldirections，whereroasting，andboiling，andfrying，weregoingon，forthebenefitofthosewhowereattendingtotheirownspiritualwelfarewithinthecircle。

_Behind_thepreachers"stand，anarrowspacewasmarkedoutfortheuseofthecoloredpeople。Therewerenoseatsprovidedforthisclassofpersons；thepreachersaddressedthem，_“overtheleft，“_iftheyaddressedthematall。Afterthepreachingwasover，ateveryservice，aninvitationwasgiventomournerstocomeintothepen；and，insomecases，ministerswentouttopersuademenandwomentocomein。Byoneoftheseministers，MasterThomasAuldwaspersuadedtogoinsidethepen。Iwasdeeplyinterestedinthatmatter，andfollowed；and，thoughcoloredpeoplewerenotallowedeitherinthepenorinfrontofthepreachers"stand，Iventuredtotakemystandatasortofhalf-wayplacebetweentheblacksandwhites，whereIcoulddistinctlyseethemovementsofmourners，andespeciallytheprogressofMasterThomas。

“Ifhehasgotreligion，“thoughtI，“hewillemancipatehisslaves；andifheshouldnotdosomuchasthis，hewill，atanyrate，behavetowardusmorekindly，andfeedusmoregenerouslythanhehasheretoforedone。“Appealingtomyownreligiousexperience，andjudgingmymasterbywhatwastrueinmyowncase，Icouldnotregardhimassoundlyconverted，unlesssomesuchgoodresultsfollowedhisprofessionofreligion。

ButinmyexpectationsIwasdoublydisappointed；MasterThomaswas_MasterThomas_still。Thefruitsofhisrighteousness<152>weretoshowthemselvesinnosuchwayasIhadanticipated。