第14章

’Highlyimpertinent，whoeversaidit，’saidMrs。Gattleton，bridlingup。

’Certainly，mydear，’chimedinthedelightedMrs。Porter;’most，undoubtedly！，Because，asIsaid，ifMissCarolineDOESplay，FENELLA，itdoesn’tfollow，asamatterofcourse，thatsheshould，thinkshehasaprettyfoot;-andthen-suchpuppiesasthese，youngmenare-hehadtheimpudencetosay，that-’

HowfartheamiableMrs。Portermighthavesucceededinher，pleasantpurpose，itisimpossibletosay，hadnottheentranceof，Mr。ThomasBalderstone，Mrs。Gattleton’sbrother，familiarlycalled，inthefamily’UncleTom，’changedthecourseofconversation，and，suggestedtohermindanexcellentplanofoperationontheevening，oftheplay。

UncleTomwasveryrich，andexceedinglyfondofhisnephewsand，nieces：，asamatterofcourse，therefore，hewasanobjectof，greatimportanceinhisownfamily。Hewasoneofthebest-hearted，meninexistence：，alwaysinagoodtemper，andalwaystalking。It，washisboastthatheworetop-bootsonalloccasions，andhad，neverwornablacksilkneckerchief;anditwashispridethathe，rememberedalltheprincipalplaysofShakspearefrombeginningto，end-andsohedid。Theresultofthisparrot-likeaccomplishment，was，thathewasnotonlyperpetuallyquotinghimself，butthathe，couldneversitby，andhearamisquotationfromthe’SwanofAvon’

withoutsettingtheunfortunatedelinquentright。Hewasalso，somethingofawag;nevermissedanopportunityofsayingwhathe，consideredagoodthing，andinvariablylaugheduntilhecriedat，anythingthatappearedtohimmirth-movingorridiculous。

’Well，girls！’saidUncleTom，afterthepreparatoryceremonyof，kissingandhow-d’ye-do-inghadbeengonethrough-’howd’yeget，on？，Knowyourparts，eh？-Lucina，mydear，actII。sceneI-

place，left-cue-“Unknownfate，“-What’snext，eh？-Goon-“The，Heavens-“’

’Oh，yes，’saidMissLucina，’Irecollect-

“Theheavensforbid，Butthatourlovesandcomfortsshouldincrease，Evenasourdaysdogrow！”’

’Makeapausehereandthere，’saidtheoldgentleman，whowasa，greatcritic。’“Butthatourlovesandcomfortsshouldincrease“-

emphasisonthelastsyllable，“crease，“-loud“even，“-one，two，three，four;thenloudagain，“asourdaysdogrow;“emphasis，onDAYS。That’stheway，mydear;trusttoyourunclefor，emphasis。Ah！，Sem，myboy，howareyou？’

’Verywell，thankee，uncle，’returnedMr。Sempronius，whohadjust，appeared，lookingsomethinglikearingdove，withasmallcircle，roundeacheye：，theresultofhisconstantcorking。’Ofcoursewe，seeyouonThursday。’

’Ofcourse，ofcourse，mydearboy。’

’Whatapityitisyournephewdidn’tthinkofmakingyouprompter，Mr。Balderstone！’whisperedMrs。JosephPorter;’youwouldhave，beeninvaluable。’

’Well，Iflattermyself，ISHOULDhavebeentolerablyuptothe，thing，’respondedUncleTom。

’Imustbespeaksittingnextyouonthenight，’resumedMrs。

Porter;’andthen，ifourdearyoungfriendshere，shouldbeatall，wrong，youwillbeabletoenlightenme。Ishallbeso，interested。’

’IamsureIshallbemosthappytogiveyouanyassistanceinmy，power’

’Mind，it’sabargain。’

’Certainly。’

’Idon’tknowhowitis，’saidMrs。Gattletontoherdaughters，as，theyweresittingroundthefireintheevening，lookingovertheir，parts，’butIreallyverymuchwishMrs。JosephPorterwasn’t，comingonThursday。Iamsureshe’sschemingsomething。’

’Shecan’tmakeusridiculous，however，’observedMr。Sempronius，Gattleton，haughtily。

Thelong-looked-forThursdayarrivedinduecourse，andbrought，withit，asMr。Gattleton，senior，philosophicallyobserved，’no，disappointments，tospeakof。’，True，itwasyetamatterofdoubt，whetherCASSIOwouldbeenabledtogetintothedresswhichhad，beensentforhimfromthemasqueradewarehouse。Itwasequally，uncertainwhethertheprincipalfemalesingerwouldbesufficiently，recoveredfromtheinfluenzatomakeherappearance;Mr。Harleigh，theMASANIELLOofthenight，washoarse，andratherunwell，in，consequenceofthegreatquantityoflemonandsugar-candyhehad，eatentoimprovehisvoice;andtwoflutesandavioloncellohad，pleadedseverecolds。Whatofthat？theaudiencewereallcoming。

Everybodyknewhispart：，thedresseswerecoveredwithtinseland，spangles;thewhiteplumeslookedbeautiful;Mr。Evanshad，practisedfallinguntilhewasbruisedfromheadtofootandquite，perfect;IAGOwassurethat，inthestabbing-scene，heshouldmake，’adecidedhit。’，Aself-taughtdeafgentleman，whohadkindly，offeredtobringhisflute，wouldbeamostvaluableadditionto，theorchestra;MissJenkins’stalentforthepianowastoowell，knowntobedoubtedforaninstant;Mr。Capehadpractisedthe，violinaccompanimentwithherfrequently;andMr。Brown，whohad，kindlyundertaken，atafewhours’notice，tobringhis，violoncello，would，nodoubt，manageextremelywell。

Seveno’clockcame，andsodidtheaudience;alltherankand，fashionofClaphamanditsvicinitywasfastfillingthetheatre。

ThereweretheSmiths，theGubbinses，theNixons，theDixons，the，Hicksons，peoplewithallsortsofnames，twoaldermen，asheriff，inperspective，SirThomasGlumper(whohadbeenknightedinthe，lastreignforcarryingupanaddressonsomebody’sescapingfrom，nothing);andlast，notleast，therewereMrs。JosephPorterand，UncleTom，seatedinthecentreofthethirdrowfromthestage;

Mrs。P。amusingUncleTomwithallsortsofstories，andUncleTom，amusingeveryoneelsebylaughingmostimmoderately。

Ting，ting，ting！wenttheprompter’sbellateighto’clock，precisely，anddashwenttheorchestraintotheovertureto’The，MenofPrometheus。’，Thepianoforteplayerhammeredawaywith，laudableperseverance;andthevioloncello，whichstruckinat，intervals，’soundedverywell，considering。’，Theunfortunate，individual，however，whohadundertakentoplaytheflute，accompaniment’atsight，’found，fromfatalexperience，theperfect，truthoftheoldadage，’oughtofsight，outofmind;’forbeing，verynear-sighted，andbeingplacedataconsiderabledistancefrom，hismusic-book，allhehadanopportunityofdoingwastoplaya，barnowandtheninthewrongplace，andputtheotherperformers，out。Itis，however，butjusticetoMr。Browntosaythathedid，thistoadmiration。Theoverture，infact，wasnotunlikearace，betweenthedifferentinstruments;thepianocameinfirstby，severalbars，andthevioloncellonext，quitedistancingthepoor，flute;forthedeafgentlemanTOO-TOO’Daway，quiteunconscious，thathewasatallwrong，untilapprised，bytheapplauseofthe，audience，thattheoverturewasconcluded。Aconsiderablebustle，andshufflingoffeetwasthenhearduponthestage，accompaniedby，whispersof’Here’saprettygo！-what’stobedone？’&c。The，audienceapplaudedagain，bywayofraisingthespiritsofthe，performers;andthenMr。Semproniusdesiredtheprompter，inavery，audiblevoice，to’clearthestage，andringup。’

Ting，ting，ting！wentthebellagain。Everybodysatdown;the，curtainshook;rosesufficientlyhightodisplayseveralpairof，yellowbootspaddlingabout;andthereremained。

Ting，ting，ting！wentthebellagain。Thecurtainwasviolently，convulsed，butrosenohigher;theaudiencetittered;Mrs。Porter，lookedatUncleTom;UncleTomlookedateverybody，rubbinghis，hands，andlaughingwithperfectrapture。Afterasmuchringing，withthelittlebellasamuffin-boywouldmakeingoingdowna，tolerablylongstreet，andavastdealofwhispering，hammering，andcallingfornailsandcord，thecurtainatlengthrose，and，discoveredMr。SemproniusGattletonSOLUS，anddeckedforOTHELLO。

Afterthreedistinctroundsofapplause，duringwhichMr。

Semproniusappliedhisrighthandtohisleftbreast，andbowedin，themostapprovedmanner，themanageradvancedandsaid：

’LadiesandGentlemen-Iassureyouitiswithsincereregret，thatIregrettobecompelledtoinformyou，thatIAGOwhowasto，haveplayedMr。Wilson-Ibegyourpardon，LadiesandGentlemen，butIamnaturallysomewhatagitated(applause)-Imean，Mr。

Wilson，whowastohaveplayedIAGO，is-thatis，hasbeen-or，inotherwords，LadiesandGentlemen，thefactis，thatIhavejust，receivedanote，inwhichIaminformedthatIAGOisunavoidably，detainedatthePost-officethisevening。Underthese，circumstances，Itrust-a-a-amateurperformance-a-another，gentlemanundertakentoreadthepart-requestindulgencefora，shorttime-courtesyandkindnessofaBritishaudience。’

Overwhelmingapplause。ExitMr。SemproniusGattleton，andcurtain，falls。

Theaudiencewere，ofcourse，exceedinglygood-humoured;thewhole，businesswasajoke;andaccordinglytheywaitedforanhourwith，theutmostpatience，beingenlivenedbyaninterludeofrout-cakes，andlemonade。ItappearedbyMr。Sempronius’ssubsequent，explanation，thatthedelaywouldnothavebeensogreat，hadit，notsohappenedthatwhenthesubstituteIAGOhadfinished，dressing，andjustastheplaywasonthepointofcommencing，the，originalIAGOunexpectedlyarrived。Theformerwastherefore，compelledtoundress，andthelattertodressforhispart;which，ashefoundsomedifficultyingettingintohisclothes，occupied，noinconsiderabletime。Atlast，thetragedybeganinreal，earnest。Itwentoffwellenough，untilthethirdsceneofthe，firstact，inwhichOTHELLOaddressestheSenate：，theonly，remarkablecircumstancebeing，thatasIAGOcouldnotgetonanyof，thestageboots，inconsequenceofhisfeetbeingviolentlyswelled，withtheheatandexcitement，hewasunderthenecessityofplaying，thepartinapairofWellingtons，whichcontrastedratheroddly，withhisrichlyembroideredpantaloons。WhenOTHELLOstartedwith，hisaddresstotheSenate(whosedignitywasrepresentedby，the，DUKE，Acarpenter，twomenengagedontherecommendationofthe，gardener，andaboy)，Mrs。Porterfoundtheopportunitysheso，anxiouslysought。

Mr。Semproniusproceeded：

’“Mostpotent，grave，andreverendsigniors，Myverynobleandapprov’dgoodmasters，ThatIhaveta’enawaythisoldman’sdaughter，Itismosttrue;-rudeamIinmyspeech-“’

’Isthatright？’whisperedMrs。PortertoUncleTom。

’No。’

’Tellhimso，then。’

’Iwill。Sem！’calledoutUncleTom，’that’swrong，myboy。’

’What’swrong，uncle？’demandedOTHELLO，quiteforgettingthe，dignityofhissituation。

’You’veleftoutsomething。”TrueIhavemarried-“’

’Oh，ah！’saidMr。Sempronius，endeavouringtohidehisconfusion，asmuchandasineffectuallyastheaudienceattemptedtoconceal，theirhalf-suppressedtittering，bycoughingwithextraordinary，violence——

’“trueIhavemarriedher;-

Theveryheadandfrontofmyoffending，Haththisextent;nomore。”

(ASIDE)Whydon’tyouprompt，father？’

’BecauseI’vemislaidmyspectacles，’saidpoorMr。Gattleton，almostdeadwiththeheatandbustle。

’There，nowit’s“rudeamI，“’saidUncleTom。

’Yes，Iknowitis，’returnedtheunfortunatemanager，proceeding，withhispart。

Itwouldbeuselessandtiresometoquotethenumberofinstances，inwhichUncleTom，nowcompletelyinhiselement，andinstigated，bythemischievousMrs。Porter，correctedthemistakesofthe，performers;sufficeittosay，thathavingmountedhishobby，nothingcouldinducehimtodismount;so，duringthewhole，remainderoftheplay，heperformedakindofrunning，accompaniment，bymutteringeverybody’spartasitwasbeing，delivered，inanunder-tone。Theaudiencewerehighlyamused，Mrs。

Porterdelighted，theperformersembarrassed;UncleTomneverwas，betterpleasedinallhislife;andUncleTom’snephewsandnieces，hadnever，althoughthedeclaredheirstohislargeproperty，so，heartilywishedhimgatheredtohisfathersasonthatmemorable，occasion。

Severalotherminorcauses，too，unitedtodamptheardourofthe，DRAMATISPERSONAE。Noneoftheperformerscouldwalkintheir，tights，ormovetheirarmsintheirjackets;thepantaloonswere，toosmall，thebootstoolarge，andtheswordsofallshapesand，sizes。Mr。Evans，naturallytootallforthescenery，woreablack，velvethatwithimmensewhiteplumes，thegloryofwhichwaslost，in’theflies;’andtheonlyotherinconvenienceofwhichwas，that，whenitwasoffhisheadhecouldnotputiton，andwhenitwason，hecouldnottakeitoff。Notwithstandingallhispractice，too，hefellwithhisheadandshouldersasneatlythroughoneofthe，sidescenes，asaharlequinwouldjumpthroughapanelina，Christmaspantomime。Thepianoforteplayer，overpoweredbythe，extremeheatoftheroom，faintedawayatthecommencementofthe，entertainments，leavingthemusicof’Masaniello’tothefluteand，violoncello。TheorchestracomplainedthatMr。Harleighputthem，out，andMr。Harleighdeclaredthattheorchestrapreventedhis，singinganote。Thefishermen，whowerehiredfortheoccasion，revoltedtotheverylife，positivelyrefusingtoplaywithoutan，increasedallowanceofspirits;and，theirdemandbeingcomplied，with，gettingdrunkintheeruption-sceneasnaturallyaspossible。

Theredfire，whichwasburntattheconclusionofthesecondact，notonlynearlysuffocatedtheaudience，butnearlysetthehouse，onfireintothebargain;and，asitwas，theremainderofthe，piecewasactedinathickfog。

Inshort，thewholeaffairwas，asMrs。JosephPortertriumphantly，toldeverybody，’acompletefailure。’，Theaudiencewenthomeat，fouro’clockinthemorning，exhaustedwithlaughter，suffering，fromsevereheadaches，andsmellingterriblyofbrimstoneand，gunpowder。TheMessrs。Gattleton，seniorandjunior，retiredto，rest，withthevagueideaofemigratingtoSwanRiverearlyinthe，ensuingweek。

RoseVillahasonceagainresumeditswontedappearance;the，dining-roomfurniturehasbeenreplaced;thetablesareasnicely，polishedasformerly;thehorsehairchairsarerangedagainstthe，wall，asregularlyasever;Venetianblindshavebeenfittedto，everywindowinthehousetointerceptthepryinggazeofMrs。

JosephPorter。Thesubjectoftheatricalsisnevermentionedin，theGattletonfamily，unless，indeed，byUncleTom，whocannot，refrainfromsometimesexpressinghissurpriseandregretat，findingthathisnephewsandniecesappeartohavelosttherelish，theyoncepossessedforthebeautiesofShakspeare，andquotations，fromtheworksofthatimmortalbard。

CHAPTERXI-THEBLOOMSBURYCHRISTENING

Mr。NicodemusDumps，or，ashisacquaintancecalledhim，’long，Dumps，’wasabachelor，sixfeethigh，andfiftyyearsold：，cross，cadaverous，odd，andill-natured。Hewasneverhappybutwhenhe，wasmiserable;andalwaysmiserablewhenhehadthebestreasonto，behappy。Theonlyrealcomfortofhisexistencewastomake，everybodyabouthimwretched-thenhemightbetrulysaidtoenjoy，life。HewasafflictedwithasituationintheBankworthfive，hundreda-year，andherenteda’first-floorfurnished，’at，Pentonville，whichheoriginallytookbecauseitcommandedadismal，prospectofanadjacentchurchyard。Hewasfamiliarwiththeface，ofeverytombstone，andtheburialserviceseemedtoexcitehis，strongestsympathy。Hisfriendssaidhewassurly-heinsistedhe，wasnervous;theythoughthimaluckydog，butheprotestedthathe，was’themostunfortunatemanintheworld。’，Coldashewas，and，wretchedashedeclaredhimselftobe，hewasnotwholly，unsusceptibleofattachments。HereveredthememoryofHoyle，as，hewashimselfanadmirableandimperturbablewhist-player，andhe，chuckledwithdelightatafretfulandimpatientadversary。He，adoredKingHerodforhismassacreoftheinnocents;andifhe，hatedonethingmorethananother，itwasachild。However，he，couldhardlybesaidtohateanythinginparticular，becausehe，dislikedeverythingingeneral;butperhapshisgreatest，antipathieswerecabs，oldwomen，doorsthatwouldnotshut，musicalamateurs，andomnibuscads。Hesubscribedtothe’Society，fortheSuppressionofVice’forthepleasureofputtingastopto，anyharmlessamusements;andhecontributedlargelytowardsthe，supportoftwoitinerantmethodistparsons，intheamiablehope，thatifcircumstancesrenderedanypeoplehappyinthisworld，they，mightperchanceberenderedmiserablebyfearsforthenext。

Mr。Dumpshadanephewwhohadbeenmarriedaboutayear，andwho，wassomewhatofafavouritewithhisuncle，becausehewasan，admirablesubjecttoexercisehismisery-creatingpowersupon。Mr。

CharlesKitterbellwasasmall，sharp，spareman，withaverylarge，head，andabroad，good-humouredcountenance。Helookedlikea，fadedgiant，withtheheadandfacepartiallyrestored;andhehad，acastinhiseyewhichrendereditquiteimpossibleforanyone，withwhomheconversedtoknowwherehewaslooking。Hiseyes，appearedfixedonthewall，andhewasstaringyououtof，countenance;inshort，therewasnocatchinghiseye，andperhaps，itisamercifuldispensationofProvidencethatsucheyesarenot，catching。Inadditiontothesecharacteristics，itmaybeadded，thatMr。CharlesKitterbellwasoneofthemostcredulousand，matter-of-factlittlepersonagesthatevertookTOhimselfawife，andFORhimselfahouseinGreatRussell-street，Bedford-square。

(UncleDumpsalwaysdroppedthe’Bedford-square，’andinsertedin，lieuthereofthedreadfulwords’Tottenham-court-road。’)

’No，but，uncle，’ponmylifeyoumust-youmustpromisetobe，godfather，’saidMr。Kitterbell，ashesatinconversationwithhis，respectedrelativeonemorning。

’Icannot，indeedIcannot，’returnedDumps。

’Well，butwhynot？，Jemimawillthinkitveryunkind。It’svery，littletrouble。’

’Astothetrouble，’rejoinedthemostunhappymaninexistence，’I

don’tmindthat;butmynervesareinthatstate-Icannotgo，throughtheceremony。YouknowIdon’tlikegoingout-ForGod’s，sake，Charles，don’tfidgetwiththatstoolso;you’lldriveme，mad。’，Mr。Kitterbell，quiteregardlessofhisuncle’snerves，had，occupiedhimselfforsometenminutesindescribingacircleonthe，floorwithonelegoftheoffice-stoolonwhichhewasseated，keepingtheotherthreeupintheair，andholdingfastonbythe，desk。

’Ibegyourpardon，uncle，’saidKitterbell，quiteabashed，suddenlyreleasinghisholdofthedesk，andbringingthethree，wanderinglegsbacktothefloor，withaforcesufficienttodrive，themthroughit。

’Butcome，don’trefuse。Ifit’saboy，youknow，wemusthavetwo，godfathers。’

’IFit’saboy！’saidDumps;’whycan’tyousayatoncewhetherit，ISaboyornot？’

’Ishouldbeveryhappytotellyou，butit’simpossibleIcan，undertaketosaywhetherit’sagirloraboy，ifthechildisn’t，bornyet。’

’Notbornyet！’echoedDumps，withagleamofhopelightinguphis，lugubriousvisage。’Oh，well，itMAYbeagirl，andthenyouwon’t，wantme;orifitisaboy，itMAYdiebeforeitischristened。’

’Ihopenot，’saidthefatherthatexpectedtobe，lookingvery，grave。

’Ihopenot，’acquiescedDumps，evidentlypleasedwiththesubject。

Hewasbeginningtogethappy。’Ihopenot，butdistressingcases，frequentlyoccurduringthefirsttwoorthreedaysofachild’s，life;fits，Iamtold，areexceedinglycommon，andalarming，convulsionsarealmostmattersofcourse。’

’Lord，uncle！’ejaculatedlittleKitterbell，gaspingforbreath。

’Yes;mylandladywasconfined-letmesee-lastTuesday：，an，uncommonlyfineboy。OntheThursdaynightthenursewassitting，withhimuponherkneebeforethefire，andhewasaswellas，possible。Suddenlyhebecameblackintheface，andalarmingly，spasmodic。Themedicalmanwasinstantlysentfor，andevery，remedywastried，but-’

’Howfrightful！’interruptedthehorror-strickenKitterbell。

’Thechilddied，ofcourse。However，yourchildMAYnotdie;and，ifitshouldbeaboy，andshouldLIVEtobechristened，whyI

supposeImustbeoneofthesponsors。’，Dumpswasevidentlygood-

naturedonthefaithofhisanticipations。

’Thankyou，uncle，’saidhisagitatednephew，graspinghishandas，warmlyasifhehaddonehimsomeessentialservice。’PerhapsI

hadbetternottellMrs。K。whatyouhavementioned。’

’Why，ifshe’slow-spirited，perhapsyouhadbetternotmentionthe，melancholycasetoher，’returnedDumps，whoofcoursehadinvented，thewholestory;’thoughperhapsitwouldbebutdoingyourdutyas，ahusbandtoprepareherfortheWORST。’

Adayortwoafterwards，asDumpswasperusingamorningpaperat，thechop-housewhichheregularlyfrequented，thefollowing-

paragraphmethiseyes：-

’BIRTHS-OnSaturday，the18thinst。inGreatRussell-street，theladyofCharlesKitterbell，Esq。ofason。’

’ItISaboy！’heexclaimed，dashingdownthepaper，tothe，astonishmentofthewaiters。’ItISaboy！’，Buthespeedily，regainedhiscomposureashiseyerestedonaparagraphquotingthe，numberofinfantdeathsfromthebillsofmortality。

Sixweekspassedaway，andasnocommunicationhadbeenreceived，fromtheKitterbells，Dumpswasbeginningtoflatterhimselfthat，thechildwasdead，whenthefollowingnotepainfullyresolvedhis，doubts：-

’GREATRUSSELL-STREET，MONDAYMORNING。

DEARUNCLE，-YouwillbedelightedtohearthatmydearJemimahas，leftherroom，andthatyourfuturegodsonisgettingoncapitally。

Hewasverythinatfirst，butheisgettingmuchlarger，andnurse，saysheisfillingouteveryday。Hecriesagooddeal，andisa，verysingularcolour，whichmadeJemimaandmerather，uncomfortable;butasnursesaysit’snatural，andasofcoursewe，knownothingaboutthesethingsyet，wearequitesatisfiedwith，whatnursesays。Wethinkhewillbeasharpchild;andnursesays，she’ssurehewill，becausehenevergoestosleep。Youwill，readilybelievethatweareallveryhappy，onlywe’realittle，wornoutforwantofrest，ashekeepsusawakeallnight;butthis，wemustexpect，nursesays，forthefirstsixoreightmonths。He，hasbeenvaccinated，butinconsequenceoftheoperationbeing，ratherawkwardlyperformed，somesmallparticlesofglasswere，introducedintothearmwiththematter。Perhapsthismayinsome，degreeaccountforhisbeingratherfractious;atleast，sonurse，says。Weproposetohavehimchristenedattwelveo’clockon，Friday，atSaintGeorge’schurch，inHart-street，bythenameof，FrederickCharlesWilliam。Praydon’tbelaterthanaquarter，beforetwelve。Weshallhaveaveryfewfriendsintheevening，whenofcourseweshallseeyou。Iamsorrytosaythatthedear，boyappearsratherrestlessanduneasyto-day：，thecause，Ifear，isfever。

’Believeme，dearUncle，’Yoursaffectionately，’CHARLESKITTERBELL。

’P。S-Iopenthisnotetosaythatwehavejustdiscoveredthe，causeoflittleFrederick’srestlessness。Itisnotfever，asI

apprehended，butasmallpin，whichnurseaccidentallystuckinhis，legyesterdayevening。Wehavetakenitout，andheappearsmore，composed，thoughhestillsobsagooddeal。’

Itisalmostunnecessarytosaythattheperusaloftheabove，interestingstatementwasnogreatrelieftothemindofthe，hypochondriacalDumps。Itwasimpossibletorecede，however，and，soheputthebestface-thatistosay，anuncommonlymiserable，one-uponthematter;andpurchasedahandsomesilvermugforthe，infantKitterbell，uponwhichheorderedtheinitials’F。C。W。

K。’withthecustomaryuntrainedgrape-vine-lookingflourishes，andalargefullstop，tobeengravedforthwith。

Mondaywasafineday，Tuesdaywasdelightful，Wednesdaywasequal，toeither，andThursdaywasfinerthanever;foursuccessivefine，daysinLondon！，Hackney-coachmenbecamerevolutionary，and，crossing-sweepersbegantodoubttheexistenceofaFirstCause。

TheMORNINGHERALDinformeditsreadersthatanoldwomaninCamden，Townhadbeenheardtosaythatthefinenessoftheseasonwas，’unprecedentedinthememoryoftheoldestinhabitant;’and，Islingtonclerks，withlargefamiliesandsmallsalaries，leftoff，theirblackgaiters，disdainedtocarrytheironcegreencotton，umbrellas，andwalkedtotownintheconsciousprideofwhite，stockingsandcleanlybrushedBluchers。Dumpsbeheldallthiswith，aneyeofsupremecontempt-histriumphwasathand。Heknewthat，ifithadbeenfineforfourweeksinsteadoffourdays，itwould，rainwhenhewentout;hewaslugubriouslyhappyintheconviction，thatFridaywouldbeawretchedday-andsoitwas。’Iknewhow，itwouldbe，’saidDumps，asheturnedroundoppositetheMansion-

houseathalf-pasteleveno’clockontheFridaymorning。’Iknew，howitwouldbe。Iamconcerned，andthat’senough;’-and，certainlytheappearanceofthedaywassufficienttodepressthe，spiritsofamuchmorebuoyant-heartedindividualthanhimself。It，hadrained，withoutamoment’scessation，sinceeighto’clock;

everybodythatpassedupCheapside，anddownCheapside，lookedwet，cold，anddirty。Allsortsofforgottenandlong-concealed，umbrellashadbeenputintorequisition。Cabswhiskedabout，with，the’fare’ascarefullyboxedupbehindtwoglazedcalicocurtains，asanymysteriouspictureinanyoneofMrs。Radcliffe’scastles;

omnibushorsessmokedlikesteam-engines;nobodythoughtof，’standingup’underdoorwaysorarches;theywerepainfully，convinceditwasahopelesscase;andsoeverybodywenthastily，along，jumblingandjostling，andswearingandperspiring，and，slippingabout，likeamateurskatersbehindwoodenchairsonthe，SerpentineonafrostySunday。

Dumpspaused;hecouldnotthinkofwalking，beingrathersmartfor，thechristening。Ifhetookacabhewassuretobespilt，anda，hackney-coachwastooexpensiveforhiseconomicalideas。An，omnibuswaswaitingattheoppositecorner-itwasadesperate，case-hehadneverheardofanomnibusupsettingorrunningaway，andifthecaddidknockhimdown，hecould’pullhimup’in，return。

’Now，sir！’criedtheyounggentlemanwhoofficiatedas’cad’to，the’LadsoftheVillage，’whichwasthenameofthemachinejust，noticed。Dumpscrossed。

’Thisvay，sir！’shoutedthedriverofthe’Hark-away，’pullingup，hisvehicleimmediatelyacrossthedooroftheopposition-’This，vay，sir-he’sfull。’，Dumpshesitated，whereuponthe’Ladsofthe，Village’commencedpouringoutatorrentofabuseagainstthe，’Hark-away;’buttheconductorofthe’AdmiralNapier’settledthe，contestinamostsatisfactorymanner，forallparties，byseizing，Dumpsroundthewaist，andthrustinghimintothemiddleofhis，vehiclewhichhadjustcomeupandonlywantedthesixteenth，inside。

’Allright，’saidthe’Admiral，’andoffthethingthundered，like，afire-engineatfullgallop，withthekidnappedcustomerinside，standinginthepositionofahalfdoubled-upbootjack，andfalling，aboutwitheveryjerkofthemachine，firstontheoneside，and，thenontheother，likea’Jack-in-the-green，’onMay-day，setting，totheladywithabrassladle。

’ForHeaven’ssake，whereamItosit？’inquiredthemiserableman，ofanoldgentleman，intowhosestomachhehadjustfallenforthe，fourthtime。

’AnywherebutonmyCHEST，sir，’repliedtheoldgentlemanina，surlytone。

’PerhapstheBOXwouldsuitthegentlemanbetter，’suggestedavery，damplawyer’sclerk，inapinkshirt，andasmirkingcountenance。

Afteragreatdealofstrugglingandfallingabout，Dumpsatlast，managedtosqueezehimselfintoaseat，which，inadditiontothe，slightdisadvantageofbeingbetweenawindowthatwouldnotshut，andadoorthatmustbeopen，placedhiminclosecontactwitha，passenger，whohadbeenwalkingaboutallthemorningwithoutan，umbrella，andwholookedasifhehadspentthedayinafull，water-butt-onlywetter。

’Don’tbangthedoorso，’saidDumpstotheconductor，asheshut，itafterlettingoutfourofthepassengers;Iamverynervous-it，destroysme。’

’Didanygen’lm’nsayanythink？’repliedthecad，thrustinginhis，head，andtryingtolookasifhedidn’tunderstandtherequest。

’Itoldyounottobangthedoorso！’repeatedDumps，withan，expressionofcountenanceliketheknaveofclubs，inconvulsions。

’Oh！vy，it’sratherasing’lercircumstanceaboutthisheredoor，sir，thatitvon’tshutwithoutbanging，’repliedtheconductor;

andheopenedthedoorverywide，andshutitagainwithaterrific，bang，inproofoftheassertion。

’Ibegyourpardon，sir，’saidalittleprim，wheezingold，gentleman，sittingoppositeDumps，’Ibegyourpardon;buthaveyou，everobserved，whenyouhavebeeninanomnibusonawetday，that，fourpeopleoutoffivealwayscomeinwithlargecottonumbrellas，withoutahandleatthetop，orthebrassspikeatthebottom？’

’Why，sir，’returnedDumps，asheheardtheclockstriketwelve，’itneverstruckmebefore;butnowyoumentionit，I-Hollo！

hollo！’shoutedthepersecutedindividual，astheomnibusdashed，pastDrury-lane，wherehehaddirectedtobesetdown-’Whereis，thecad？’

’Ithinkhe’sonthebox，sir，’saidtheyounggentlemanbefore，noticedinthepinkshirt，whichlookedlikeawhiteoneruledwith，redink。

’Iwanttobesetdown！’saidDumpsinafaintvoice，overcomeby，hispreviousefforts。

’IthinkthesecadswanttobeSETDOWN，’returnedtheattorney’s，clerk，chucklingathissally。

’Hollo！’criedDumpsagain。

’Hollo！’echoedthepassengers。TheomnibuspassedSt。Giles’s，church。

’Holdhard！’saidtheconductor;’I’mblowedifweha’n’tforgot，thegen’lm’nasvastobesetdownatDoory-lane-Now，sir，make，haste，ifyouplease，’headded，openingthedoor，andassisting，Dumpsoutwithasmuchcoolnessasifitwas’allright。’，Dumps’s，indignationwasforoncegettingthebetterofhiscynical，equanimity。’Drury-lane！’hegasped，withthevoiceofaboyina，coldbathforthefirsttime。

’Doory-lane，sir？-yes，sir，-thirdturningontheright-hand，side，sir。’

Dumps’spassionwasparamount：，heclutchedhisumbrella，andwas，stridingoffwiththefirmdeterminationofnotpayingthefare。

Thecad，byaremarkablecoincidence，happenedtoentertaina，directlycontraryopinion，andHeavenknowshowfarthealtercation，wouldhaveproceeded，ifithadnotbeenmostablyand，satisfactorilybroughttoaclosebythedriver。

’Hollo！’saidthatrespectableperson，standinguponthebox，and，leaningwithonehandontheroofoftheomnibus。’Hollo，Tom！

tellthegentlemanifsobeashefeelsaggrieved，wewilltakehim，uptotheEdge-er(Edgeware)Roadfornothing，andsethimdownat，Doory-lanewhenwecomesback。Hecan’trejectthat，anyhow。’

Theargumentwasirresistible：，Dumpspaidthedisputedsixpence，andinaquarterofanhourwasonthestaircaseofNo。14，Great，Russell-street。

Everythingindicatedthatpreparationsweremakingforthe，receptionof’afewfriends’intheevening。Twodozenextra，tumblers，andfourdittowine-glasses-lookinganythingbut，transparent，withlittlebitsofstrawinthemontheslabinthe，passage，justarrived。Therewasagreatsmellofnutmeg，port，wine，andalmonds，onthestaircase;thecoversweretakenoffthe，stair-carpet，andthefigureofVenusonthefirstlandinglooked，asifshewereashamedofthecomposition-candleinherrighthand，whichcontrastedbeautifullywiththelamp-blackeddraperyofthe，goddessoflove。Thefemaleservant(wholookedverywarmand，bustling)usheredDumpsintoafrontdrawing-room，veryprettily，furnished，withaplentifulsprinklingoflittlebaskets，paper，table-mats，chinawatchmen，pinkandgoldalbums，andrainbow-bound，littlebooksonthedifferenttables。

’Ah，uncle！’saidMr。Kitterbell，’howd’yedo？，Allowme-Jemima，mydear-myuncle。Ithinkyou’veseenJemimabefore，sir？’

’HavehadthePLEASURE，’returnedbigDumps，histoneandlook，makingitdoubtfulwhetherinhislifehehadeverexperiencedthe，sensation。

’I’msure，’saidMrs。Kitterbell，withalanguidsmile，anda，slightcough。’I’msure-hem-anyfriend-ofCharles’s-hem-

muchlessarelation，is-’

’Iknewyou’dsayso，mylove，’saidlittleKitterbell，who，while，heappearedtobegazingontheoppositehouses，waslookingathis，wifewithamostaffectionateair：，’Blessyou！’，Thelasttwo，wordswereaccompaniedwithasimper，andasqueezeofthehand，whichstirredupallUncleDumps’sbile。

’Jane，tellnursetobringdownbaby，’saidMrs。Kitterbell，addressingtheservant。Mrs。Kitterbellwasatall，thinyoung，lady，withverylighthair，andaparticularlywhiteface-oneof，thoseyoungwomenwhoalmostinvariably，thoughonehardlyknows，why，recalltoone’smindtheideaofacoldfilletofveal。Out，wenttheservant，andincamethenurse，witharemarkablysmall，parcelinherarms，packedupinabluemantletrimmedwithwhite，fur-Thiswasthebaby。

’Now，uncle，’saidMr。Kitterbell，liftingupthatpartofthe，mantlewhichcoveredtheinfant’sface，withanairofgreat，triumph，’WHOdoyouthinkhe’slike？’

’He！he！，Yes，who？’saidMrs。K。puttingherarmthroughher，husband’s，andlookingupintoDumps’sfacewithanexpressionof，asmuchinterestasshewascapableofdisplaying。

’GoodGod，howsmallheis！’criedtheamiableuncle，startingback，withwell-feignedsurprise;’REMARKABLYsmallindeed。’

’Doyouthinkso？’inquiredpoorlittleKitterbell，ratheralarmed。

’He’samonstertowhathewas-ain’the，nurse？’

’He’sadear，’saidthenurse，squeezingthechild，andevadingthe，question-notbecauseshescrupledtodisguisethefact，but，becauseshecouldn’taffordtothrowawaythechanceofDumps’s，half-crown。

’Well，butwhoishelike？’inquiredlittleKitterbell。

Dumpslookedatthelittlepinkheapbeforehim，andonlythought，atthemomentofthebestmodeofmortifyingtheyouthfulparents。

’Ireallydon’tknowWHOhe’slike，’heanswered，verywellknowing，thereplyexpectedofhim。

’Don’tyouthinkhe’slikeME？’inquiredhisnephewwithaknowing，air。

’Oh，DECIDEDLYnot！’returnedDumps，withanemphasisnottobe，misunderstood。’Decidedlynotlikeyou-Oh，certainlynot。’

’LikeJemima？’askedKitterbell，faintly。

’Oh，dearno;notintheleast。I’mnojudge，ofcourse，insuch，cases;butIreallythinkhe’smorelikeoneofthoselittlecarved，representationsthatonesometimesseesblowingatrumpetona，tombstone！’，Thenursestoopeddownoverthechild，andwithgreat，difficultypreventedanexplosionofmirth。Paandmalooked，almostasmiserableastheiramiableuncle。

’Well！’saidthedisappointedlittlefather，’you’llbebetterable，totellwhathe’slikeby-and-by。Youshallseehimthisevening，withhismantleoff。’

’Thankyou，’saidDumps，feelingparticularlygrateful。

’Now，mylove，’saidKitterbelltohiswife，’it’stimewewere，off。We’retomeettheothergodfatherandthegodmotheratthe，church，uncle，-Mr。andMrs。Wilsonfromovertheway-uncommonly，nicepeople。Mylove，areyouwellwrappedup？’

’Yes，dear。’

’Areyousureyouwon’thaveanothershawl？’inquiredtheanxious，husband。

’No，sweet，’returnedthecharmingmother，acceptingDumps’s，profferedarm;andthelittlepartyenteredthehackney-coachthat，wastotakethemtothechurch;DumpsamusingMrs。Kitterbellby，expatiatinglargelyonthedangerofmeasles，thrush，teeth-

cutting，andotherinterestingdiseasestowhichchildrenare，subject。

Theceremony(whichoccupiedaboutfiveminutes)passedoffwithout，anythingparticularoccurring。Theclergymanhadtodinesome，distancefromtown，andhadtwochurchings，threechristenings，and，afuneraltoperforminsomethinglessthananhour。The，godfathersandgodmother，therefore，promisedtorenouncethedevil，andallhisworks-’andallthatsortofthing’-aslittle，Kitterbellsaid-’inlessthannotime;’andwiththeexceptionof，Dumpsnearlylettingthechildfallintothefontwhenhehandedit，totheclergyman，thewholeaffairwentoffintheusualbusiness-

likeandmatter-of-coursemanner，andDumpsre-enteredtheBank-

gatesattwoo’clockwithaheavyheart，andthepainfulconviction，thathewasregularlybookedforaneveningparty。

Eveningcame-andsodidDumps’spumps，blacksilkstockings，and，whitecravatwhichhehadorderedtobeforwarded，perboy，from，Pentonville。Thedepressedgodfatherdressedhimselfatafriend’s，counting-house，fromwhence，withhisspiritsfiftydegreesbelow，proof，hesalliedforth-astheweatherhadclearedup，andthe，eveningwastolerablyfine-towalktoGreatRussell-street。

SlowlyhepacedupCheapside，Newgate-street，downSnow-hill，and，upHolbornditto，lookingasgrimasthefigure-headofaman-of-

war，andfindingoutfreshcausesofmiseryateverystep。Ashe，wascrossingthecornerofHatton-garden，amanapparently，intoxicated，rushedagainsthim，andwouldhaveknockedhimdown，hadhenotbeenprovidentiallycaughtbyaverygenteelyoungman，whohappenedtobeclosetohimatthetime。Theshockso，disarrangedDumps’snerves，aswellashisdress，thathecould，hardlystand。Thegentlemantookhisarm，andinthekindest，mannerwalkedwithhimasfarasFurnival’sInn。Dumps，forabout，thefirsttimeinhislife，feltgratefulandpolite;andheand，thegentlemanly-lookingyoungmanpartedwithmutualexpressionsof，goodwill。

’Thereareatleastsomewell-disposedmenintheworld，’ruminated，themisanthropicalDumps，asheproceededtowardshisdestination。

Rat-tat-ta-ra-ra-ra-ra-rat-knockedahackney-coachmanat，Kitterbell’sdoor，inimitationofagentleman’sservant，justas，Dumpsreachedit;andoutcameanoldladyinalargetoque，andan，oldgentlemaninabluecoat，andthreefemalecopiesoftheold，ladyinpinkdresses，andshoestomatch。

’It’salargeparty，’sighedtheunhappygodfather，wipingthe，perspirationfromhisforehead，andleaningagainstthearea-

railings。Itwassometimebeforethemiserablemancouldmuster，upcouragetoknockatthedoor，andwhenhedid，thesmart，appearanceofaneighbouringgreengrocer(whohadbeenhiredto，waitforsevenandsixpence，andwhosecalvesalonewereworth，doublethemoney)，thelampinthepassage，andtheVenusonthe，landing，addedtothehumofmanyvoices，andthesoundofaharp，andtwoviolins，painfullyconvincedhimthathissurmiseswerebut，toowellfounded。

’Howareyou？’saidlittleKitterbell，inagreaterbustlethan，ever，boltingoutofthelittlebackparlourwithacork-screwin，hishand，andvariousparticlesofsawdust，lookinglikesomany，invertedcommas，onhisinexpressibles。

’GoodGod！’saidDumps，turningintotheaforesaidparlourtoput，hisshoeson，whichhehadbroughtinhiscoat-pocket，andstill，moreappalledbythesightofsevenfresh-drawncorks，anda，correspondingnumberofdecanters。’Howmanypeoplearethereup-

stairs？’

’Oh，notabovethirty-five。We’vehadthecarpettakenupinthe，backdrawing-room，andthepianoandthecard-tablesareinthe，front。Jemimathoughtwe’dbetterhavearegularsit-downsupper，inthefrontparlour，becauseofthespeechifying，andallthat。

But，Lord！uncle，what’sthematter？’continuedtheexcitedlittle，man，asDumpsstoodwithoneshoeon，rummaginghispocketswith，themostfrightfuldistortionofvisage。’Whathaveyoulost？

Yourpocket-book？’

’No，’returnedDumps，divingfirstintoonepocketandtheninto，theother，andspeakinginavoicelikeDesdemonawiththepillow，overhermouth。

’Yourcard-case？snuff-box？thekeyofyourlodgings？’continued，Kitterbell，pouringquestiononquestionwiththerapidityof，lightning。

’No！no！’ejaculatedDumps，stilldivingeagerlyintohisempty，pockets。

’Not-not-theMUGyouspokeofthismorning？’

’Yes，theMUG！’repliedDumps，sinkingintoachair。

’HowCOULDyouhavedoneit？’inquiredKitterbell。’Areyousure，youbroughtitout？’

’Yes！yes！，Iseeitall！’saidDumps，startingupastheidea，flashedacrosshismind;’miserabledogthatIam-Iwasbornto，suffer。Iseeitall：，itwasthegentlemanly-lookingyoungman！’

’Mr。Dumps！’shoutedthegreengrocerinastentorianvoice，ashe，usheredthesomewhatrecoveredgodfatherintothedrawing-roomhalf，anhouraftertheabovedeclaration。’Mr。Dumps！’-everybody，lookedatthedoor，andincameDumps，feelingaboutasmuchoutof，placeasasalmonmightbesupposedtobeonagravel-walk。

’Happytoseeyouagain，’saidMrs。Kitterbell，quiteunconscious，oftheunfortunateman’sconfusionandmisery;’youmustallowme，tointroduceyoutoafewofourfriends：-mymamma，Mr。Dumps-my，papaandsisters。’，Dumpsseizedthehandofthemotheraswarmly，asifshewashisownparent，bowedTOtheyoungladies，and，AGAINSTagentlemanbehindhim，andtooknonoticewhateverofthe，father，whohadbeenbowingincessantlyforthreeminutesanda，quarter。

’Uncle，’saidlittleKitterbell，afterDumpshadbeenintroducedto，aselectdozenortwo，’youmustletmeleadyoutotheotherend，oftheroom，tointroduceyoutomyfriendDanton。Suchasplendid，fellow！-I’msureyou’lllikehim-thisway，’-Dumpsfollowedas，tractablyasatamebear。

Mr。Dantonwasayoungmanofaboutfive-and-twenty，witha，considerablestockofimpudence，andaverysmallshareofideas：

hewasagreatfavourite，especiallywithyoungladiesoffrom，sixteentotwenty-sixyearsofage，bothinclusive。Hecould，imitatetheFrench-horntoadmiration，sangcomicsongsmost，inimitably，andhadthemostinsinuatingwayofsayingimpertinent，nothingstohisdotingfemaleadmirers。Hehadacquired，somehow，orother，thereputationofbeingagreatwit，and，accordingly，wheneverheopenedhismouth，everybodywhoknewhimlaughedvery，heartily。

Theintroductiontookplaceindueform。Mr。Dantonbowed，and，twirledalady’shandkerchief，whichheheldinhishand，inamost，comicway。Everybodysmiled。

’Verywarm，’saidDumps，feelingitnecessarytosaysomething。

’Yes。Itwaswarmeryesterday，’returnedthebrilliantMr。Danton-

Agenerallaugh。

’Ihavegreatpleasureincongratulatingyouonyourfirst，appearanceinthecharacterofafather，sir，’hecontinued，addressingDumps-’godfather，Imean。’-Theyoungladieswere，convulsed，andthegentlemeninecstasies。

Ageneralhumofadmirationinterruptedtheconversation，and，announcedtheentranceofnursewiththebaby。Anuniversalrush，oftheyoungladiesimmediatelytookplace。(GirlsarealwaysSO

fondofbabiesincompany。)

’Oh，youdear！’saidone。

’Howsweet！’criedanother，inalowtoneofthemostenthusiastic，admiration。

’Heavenly！’addedathird。

’Oh！whatdearlittlearms！’saidafourth，holdingupanarmand，fistaboutthesizeandshapeofthelegofafowlcleanlypicked。

’Didyouever！’-saidalittlecoquettewithalargebustle，who，lookedlikeaFrenchlithograph，appealingtoagentlemaninthree，waistcoats-’Didyouever！’

’Never，inmylife，’returnedheradmirer，pullinguphiscollar。

’Oh！DOletmetakeit，nurse，’criedanotheryounglady。’The，love！’

’Canitopenitseyes，nurse？’inquiredanother，affectingthe，utmostinnocence-Sufficeittosay，thatthesingleladies，unanimouslyvotedhimanangel，andthatthemarriedones，NEM。

CON。agreedthathewasdecidedlythefinestbabytheyhadever，beheld-excepttheirown。

Thequadrilleswereresumedwithgreatspirit。Mr。Dantonwas，universallyadmittedtobebeyondhimself;severalyoungladies，enchantedthecompanyandgainedadmirersbysinging’Wemet’-’I

sawherattheFancyFair’-andotherequallysentimentaland，interestingballads。’Theyoungmen，’asMrs。Kitterbellsaid，’madethemselvesveryagreeable;’thegirlsdidnotlosetheir，opportunity;andtheeveningpromisedtogooffexcellently。Dumps，didn’tmindit：，hehaddevisedaplanforhimself-alittlebit，offuninhisownway-andhewasalmosthappy！，Heplayeda，rubberandlosteverypointMr。Dantonsaidhecouldnothavelost，everypoint，becausehemadeapointoflosing：，everybodylaughed，tremendously。Dumpsretortedwithabetterjoke，andnobody，smiled，withtheexceptionofthehost，whoseemedtoconsiderit，hisdutytolaughtillhewasblackintheface，ateverything。

Therewasonlyonedrawback-themusiciansdidnotplaywithquite，asmuchspiritascouldhavebeenwished。Thecause，however，was，satisfactorilyexplained;foritappeared，onthetestimonyofa，gentlemanwhohadcomeupfromGravesendintheafternoon，that，theyhadbeenengagedonboardasteamerallday，andhadplayed，almostwithoutcessationallthewaytoGravesend，andalltheway，backagain。

The’sit-downsupper’wasexcellent;therewerefourbarley-sugar，templesonthetable，whichwouldhavelookedbeautifuliftheyhad，notmeltedawaywhenthesupperbegan;andawater-mill，whoseonly，faultwasthatinsteadofgoinground，itranoverthetable-cloth。

Thentherewerefowls，andtongue，andtrifle，andsweets，and，lobstersalad，andpottedbeef-andeverything。Andlittle，Kitterbellkeptcallingoutforcleanplates，andthecleanplates，didnotcome：，andthenthegentlemenwhowantedtheplatessaid，theydidn’tmind，they’dtakealady’s;andthenMrs。Kitterbell，applaudedtheirgallantry，andthegreengrocerranabouttillhe，thoughthissevenandsixpencewasveryhardlyearned;andthe，youngladiesdidn’teatmuchforfearitshouldn’tlookromantic，andthemarriedladieseatasmuchaspossible，forfearthey，shouldn’thaveenough;andagreatdealofwinewasdrunk，and，everybodytalkedandlaughedconsiderably。

’Hush！hush！’saidMr。Kitterbell，risingandlookingvery，important。’Mylove(thiswasaddressedtohiswifeattheother，endofthetable)，takecareofMrs。Maxwell，andyourmamma，and，therestofthemarriedladies;thegentlemenwillpersuadethe，youngladiestofilltheirglasses，Iamsure。’

’Ladiesandgentlemen，’saidlongDumps，inaverysepulchralvoice，andruefulaccent，risingfromhischairliketheghostinDon，Juan，’willyouhavethekindnesstochargeyourglasses？，Iam，desirousofproposingatoast。’

Adeadsilenceensued，andtheglasseswerefilled-everybody，lookedserious。

’Ladiesandgentlemen，’slowlycontinuedtheominousDumps，’I’-

(hereMr。DantonimitatedtwonotesfromtheFrench-horn，inavery，loudkey，whichelectrifiedthenervoustoast-proposer，and，convulsedhisaudience)。

’Order！order！’saidlittleKitterbell，endeavouringtosuppress，hislaughter。

’Order！’saidthegentlemen。

’Danton，bequiet，’saidaparticularfriendontheoppositeside，ofthetable。

’Ladiesandgentlemen，’resumedDumps，somewhatrecovered，andnot，muchdisconcerted，forhewasalwaysaprettygoodhandataspeech，-’Inaccordancewithwhatis，Ibelieve，theestablishedusageon，theseoccasions，I，asoneofthegodfathersofMasterFrederick，CharlesWilliamKitterbell-(herethespeaker’svoicefaltered，forherememberedthemug)-venturetorisetoproposeatoast。I

needhardlysaythatitisthehealthandprosperityofthatyoung，gentleman，theparticulareventofwhoseearlylifeweareheremet，tocelebrate-(applause)。Ladiesandgentlemen，itisimpossible，tosupposethatourfriendshere，whosesincerewell-wishersweall，are，canpassthroughlifewithoutsometrials，considerable，suffering，severeaffliction，andheavylosses！’-Herethearch-

traitorpaused，andslowlydrewforthalong，whitepocket-

handkerchief-hisexamplewasfollowedbyseveralladies。’That，thesetrialsmaybelongsparedthemismymostearnestprayer，my，mostferventwish(adistinctsobfromthegrandmother)。Ihope，andtrust，ladiesandgentlemen，thattheinfantwhosechristening，wehavethiseveningmettocelebrate，maynotberemovedfromthe，armsofhisparentsbyprematuredecay(severalcambricswerein，requisition)：，thathisyoungandnowAPPARENTLYhealthyform，may，notbewastedbylingeringdisease。(HereDumpscastasardonic，glancearound，foragreatsensationwasmanifestamongthemarried，ladies。)，You，Iamsure，willconcurwithmeinwishingthathe，maylivetobeacomfortandablessingtohisparents。(“Hear，hear！”andanaudiblesobfromMr。Kitterbell。)，Butshouldhenot，bewhatwecouldwish-shouldheforgetinaftertimestheduty，whichheowestothem-shouldtheyunhappilyexperiencethat，distractingtruth，“howsharperthanaserpent’stoothitisto，haveathanklesschild“’-HereMrs。Kitterbell，withher，handkerchieftohereyes，andaccompaniedbyseveralladies，rushed，fromtheroom，andwentintoviolenthystericsinthepassage，leavingherbetterhalfinalmostasbadacondition，andageneral，impressioninDumps’sfavour;forpeoplelikesentiment，afterall。

Itneedhardlybeadded，thatthisoccurrencequiteputastopto，theharmonyoftheevening。Vinegar，hartshorn，andcoldwater，werenowasmuchinrequestasnegus，rout-cakes，andBON-BONShad，beenashorttimebefore。Mrs。Kitterbellwasimmediatelyconveyed，toherapartment，themusiciansweresilenced，flirtingceased，and，thecompanyslowlydeparted。Dumpsleftthehouseatthe，commencementofthebustle，andwalkedhomewithalightstep，and，(forhim)acheerfulheart。Hislandlady，whosleptinthenext，room，hasofferedtomakeoaththatsheheardhimlaugh，inhis，peculiarmanner，afterhehadlockedhisdoor。Theassertion，however，issoimprobable，andbearsonthefaceofitsuchstrong，evidenceofuntruth，thatithasneverobtainedcredencetothis，hour。

ThefamilyofMr。Kitterbellhasconsiderablyincreasedsincethe，periodtowhichwehavereferred;hehasnowtwosonsanda，daughter;andasheexpects，atnodistantperiod，tohaveanother，additiontohisbloomingprogeny，heisanxioustosecurean，eligiblegodfatherfortheoccasion。Heisdetermined，however，to，imposeuponhimtwoconditions。Hemustbindhimself，byasolemn，obligation，nottomakeanyspeechaftersupper;anditis，indispensablethatheshouldbeinnowayconnectedwith’themost，miserablemanintheworld。’

CHAPTERXII-THEDRUNKARD’SDEATH

Wewillbeboldtosay，thatthereisscarcelyamaninthe，constanthabitofwalking，dayafterday，throughanyofthe，crowdedthoroughfaresofLondon，whocannotrecollectamongthe，peoplewhomhe’knowsbysight，’touseafamiliarphrase，some，beingofabjectandwretchedappearancewhomherememberstohave，seeninaverydifferentcondition，whomhehasobservedsinking，lowerandlower，byalmostimperceptibledegrees，andthe，shabbinessandutterdestitutionofwhoseappearance，atlast，strikeforciblyandpainfullyuponhim，ashepassesby。Isthere，anymanwhohasmixedmuchwithsociety，orwhoseavocationshave，causedhimtomingle，atonetimeorother，withagreatnumberof，people，whocannotcalltomindthetimewhensomeshabby，miserablewretch，inragsandfilth，whoshufflespasthimnowin，allthesqualorofdiseaseandpoverty，witharespectable，tradesman，orclerk，oramanfollowingsomethrivingpursuit，with，goodprospects，anddecentmeans？-orcannotanyofourreaders，calltomindfromamongthelistoftheirQUONDAMacquaintance，somefallenanddegradedman，wholingersaboutthepavementin，hungrymisery-fromwhomeveryoneturnscoldlyaway，andwho，preserveshimselffromsheerstarvation，nobodyknowshow？，Alas！

suchcasesareoftoofrequentoccurrencetoberareitemsinany，man’sexperience;andbuttoooftenarisefromonecause-

drunkenness-thatfierceragefortheslow，surepoison，that，overstepseveryotherconsideration;thatcastsasidewife，children，friends，happiness，andstation;andhurriesitsvictims，madlyontodegradationanddeath。

Someofthesemenhavebeenimpelled，bymisfortuneandmisery，to，thevicethathasdegradedthem。Theruinofworldlyexpectations，thedeathofthosetheyloved，thesorrowthatslowlyconsumes，but，willnotbreaktheheart，hasdriventhemwild;andtheypresent，thehideousspectacleofmadmen，slowlydyingbytheirownhands。

Butbyfarthegreaterparthavewilfully，andwithopeneyes，plungedintothegulffromwhichthemanwhoonceentersitnever，risesmore，butintowhichhesinksdeeperanddeeperdown，until，recoveryishopeless。

Suchamanasthisoncestoodbythebedsideofhisdyingwife，whilehischildrenkneltaround，andmingledloudburstsofgrief，withtheirinnocentprayers。Theroomwasscantilyandmeanly，furnished;anditneededbutaglanceatthepaleformfromwhich，thelightoflifewasfastpassingaway，toknowthatgrief，and，want，andanxiouscare，hadbeenbusyattheheartformanyaweary，year。Anelderlywoman，withherfacebathedintears，was，supportingtheheadofthedyingwoman-herdaughter-onherarm。

Butitwasnottowardsherthatthewasfaceturned;itwasnother，handthatthecoldandtremblingfingersclasped;theypressedthe，husband’sarm;theeyessosoontobeclosedindeathrestedonhis，face，andthemanshookbeneaththeirgaze。Hisdresswasslovenly，anddisordered，hisfaceinflamed，hiseyesbloodshotandheavy。

Hehadbeensummonedfromsomewilddebauchtothebedofsorrow，anddeath。

Ashadedlampbythebed-sidecastadimlightonthefigures，around，andlefttheremainderoftheroominthick，deepshadow。

Thesilenceofnightprevailedwithoutthehouse，andthestillness，ofdeathwasinthechamber。Awatchhungoverthemantel-shelf;

itslowtickingwastheonlysoundthatbroketheprofoundquiet，butitwasasolemnone，forwelltheyknew，whoheardit，that，beforeithadrecordedthepassingofanotherhour，itwouldbeat，theknellofadepartedspirit。

Itisadreadfulthingtowaitandwatchfortheapproachofdeath;

toknowthathopeisgone，andrecoveryimpossible;andtositand，countthedrearyhoursthroughlong，longnights-suchnightsas，onlywatchersbythebedofsicknessknow。Itchillsthebloodto，hearthedearestsecretsoftheheart-thepent-up，hiddensecrets，ofmanyyears-pouredforthbytheunconscious，helplessbeing，beforeyou;andtothinkhowlittlethereserveandcunningofa，wholelifewillavail，whenfeveranddeliriumtearoffthemaskat，last。Strangetaleshavebeentoldinthewanderingsofdyingmen;

talessofullofguiltandcrime，thatthosewhostoodbythesick，person’scouchhavefledinhorrorandaffright，lesttheyshould，bescaredtomadnessbywhattheyheardandsaw;andmanyawretch，hasdiedalone，ravingofdeedstheverynameofwhichhasdriven，theboldestmanaway。

Butnosuchravingsweretobeheardatthebed-sidebywhichthe，childrenknelt。Theirhalf-stifledsobsandmoaningalonebroke，thesilenceofthelonelychamber。Andwhenatlastthemother’s，grasprelaxed，and，turningonelookfromthechildrentothe，father，shevainlystrovetospeak，andfellbackwardonthe，pillow，allwassocalmandtranquilthatsheseemedtosinkto，sleep。Theyleantoverher;theycalleduponhername，softlyat，first，andthenintheloudandpiercingtonesofdesperation。But，therewasnoreply。Theylistenedforherbreath，butnosound，came。Theyfeltforthepalpitationoftheheart，butnofaint，throbrespondedtothetouch。Thatheartwasbroken，andshewas，dead！

Thehusbandsunkintoachairbythebed-side，andclaspedhis，handsuponhisburningforehead。Hegazedfromchildtochild，but，whenaweepingeyemethis，hequailedbeneathitslook。Noword，ofcomfortwaswhisperedinhisear，nolookofkindnesslightedon，hisface。Allshrunkfromandavoidedhim;andwhenatlasthe，staggeredfromtheroom，noonesoughttofolloworconsolethe，widower。

Thetimehadbeenwhenmanyafriendwouldhavecrowdedroundhim，inhisaffliction，andmanyaheartfeltcondolencewouldhavemet，himinhisgrief。Whereweretheynow？，Onebyone，friends，relations，thecommonestacquaintanceeven，hadfallenofffromand，desertedthedrunkard。Hiswifealonehadclungtohimingoodand，evil，insicknessandpoverty，andhowhadherewardedher？，Hehad，reeledfromthetaverntoherbed-sideintimetoseeherdie。

Herushedfromthehouse，andwalkedswiftlythroughthestreets。

Remorse，fear，shame，allcrowdedonhismind。Stupefiedwith，drink，andbewilderedwiththescenehehadjustwitnessed，here-

enteredthetavernhehadquittedshortlybefore。Glasssucceeded，glass。Hisbloodmounted，andhisbrainwhirledround。Death！

Everyonemustdie，andwhynotSHE？，Shewastoogoodforhim;her，relationshadoftentoldhimso。Cursesonthem！，Hadtheynot，desertedher，andlefthertowhineawaythetimeathome？，Well-

shewasdead，andhappyperhaps。Itwasbetterasitwas。Another，glass-onemore！，Hurrah！，Itwasamerrylifewhileitlasted;

andhewouldmakethemostofit。

Timewenton;thethreechildrenwhowerelefttohim，grewup，and，werechildrennolonger。Thefatherremainedthesame-poorer，shabbier，andmoredissolute-looking，butthesameconfirmedand，irreclaimabledrunkard。Theboyshad，longago，runwildinthe，streets，andlefthim;thegirlaloneremained，butsheworked，hard，andwordsorblowscouldalwaysprocurehimsomethingforthe，tavern。Sohewentonintheoldcourse，andamerrylifeheled。

Onenight，asearlyasteno’clock-forthegirlhadbeensickfor，manydays，andtherewas，consequently，littletospendatthe，public-house-hebenthisstepshomeward，bethinkinghimselfthat，ifhewouldhaveherabletoearnmoney，itwouldbeaswellto，applytotheparishsurgeon，or，atallevents，totakethetrouble，ofinquiringwhatailedher，whichhehadnotyetthoughtitworth，whiletodo。ItwasawetDecembernight;thewindblewpiercing，cold，andtherainpouredheavilydown。Hebeggedafewhalfpence，fromapasser-by，andhavingboughtasmallloaf(foritwashis，interesttokeepthegirlalive，ifhecould)，heshuffledonwards，asfastasthewindandrainwouldlethim。

AtthebackofFleet-street，andlyingbetweenitandthewater-

side，areseveralmeanandnarrowcourts，whichformaportionof，Whitefriars：，itwastooneofthesethathedirectedhissteps。

Thealleyintowhichheturned，might，forfilthandmisery，have，competedwiththedarkestcornerofthisancientsanctuaryinits，dirtiestandmostlawlesstime。Thehouses，varyingfromtwo，storiesinheighttofour，werestainedwitheveryindescribable，huethatlongexposuretotheweather，damp，androttennesscan，imparttotenementscomposedoriginallyoftheroughestand，coarsestmaterials。Thewindowswerepatchedwithpaper，and，stuffedwiththefoulestrags;thedoorswerefallingfromtheir，hinges;poleswithlinesonwhichtodryclothes，projectedfrom，everycasement，andsoundsofquarrellingordrunkennessissued，fromeveryroom。

Thesolitaryoillampinthecentreofthecourthadbeenblown，out，eitherbytheviolenceofthewindortheactofsome，inhabitantwhohadexcellentreasonsforobjectingtohisresidence，beingrenderedtooconspicuous;andtheonlylightwhichfellupon，thebrokenandunevenpavement，wasderivedfromthemiserable，candlesthathereandtheretwinkledintheroomsofsuchofthe，morefortunateresidentsascouldaffordtoindulgeinsoexpensive，aluxury。Agutterrandownthecentreofthealley-allthe，sluggishodoursofwhichhadbeencalledforthbytherain;andas，thewindwhistledthroughtheoldhouses，thedoorsandshutters，creakedupontheirhinges，andthewindowsshookintheirframes，withaviolencewhicheverymomentseemedtothreatenthe，destructionofthewholeplace。

Themanwhomwehavefollowedintothisden，walkedoninthe，darkness，sometimesstumblingintothemaingutter，andatothers，intosomebranchrepositoriesofgarbagewhichhadbeenformedby，therain，untilhereachedthelasthouseinthecourt。Thedoor，orratherwhatwasleftofit，stoodajar，fortheconvenienceof，thenumerouslodgers;andheproceededtogropehiswayuptheold，andbrokenstair，totheatticstory。

Hewaswithinasteportwoofhisroomdoor，whenitopened，anda，girl，whosemiserableandemaciatedappearancewasonlytobe，equalledbythatofthecandlewhichsheshadedwithherhand，peepedanxiouslyout。

’Isthatyou，father？’saidthegirl。

’Whoelseshoulditbe？’repliedthemangruffly。’Whatareyou，tremblingat？，It’slittleenoughthatI’vehadtodrinkto-day，forthere’snodrinkwithoutmoney，andnomoneywithoutwork。

Whatthedevil’sthematterwiththegirl？’

’Iamnotwell，father-notatallwell，’saidthegirl，bursting，intotears。

’Ah！’repliedtheman，inthetoneofapersonwhoiscompelledto，admitaveryunpleasantfact，towhichhewouldratherremain，blind，ifhecould。’Youmustgetbettersomehow，forwemusthave，money。Youmustgototheparishdoctor，andmakehimgiveyou，somemedicine。They’repaidforit，damn’em。Whatareyou，standingbeforethedoorfor？，Letmecomein，can’tyou？’

’Father，’whisperedthegirl，shuttingthedoorbehindher，and，placingherselfbeforeit，’Williamhascomeback。’

’Who！’saidthemanwithastart。

’Hush，’repliedthegirl，’William;brotherWilliam。’

’Andwhatdoeshewant？’saidtheman，withaneffortatcomposure，-’money？meat？drink？，He’scometothewrongshopforthat，ifhe，does。Givemethecandle-givemethecandle，fool-Iain’t，goingtohurthim。’，Hesnatchedthecandlefromherhand，and，walkedintotheroom。

Sittingonanoldbox，withhisheadrestingonhishand，andhis，eyesfixedonawretchedcinderfirethatwassmoulderingonthe，hearth，wasayoungmanofabouttwo-and-twenty，miserablycladin，anoldcoarsejacketandtrousers。Hestartedupwhenhisfather，entered。

’Fastenthedoor，Mary，’saidtheyoungmanhastily-’Fastenthe，door。Youlookasifyoudidn’tknowme，father。It’slong，enough，sinceyoudrovemefromhome;youmaywellforgetme。’

’Andwhatdoyouwanthere，now？’saidthefather，seatinghimself，onastool，ontheothersideofthefireplace。’Whatdoyouwant，here，now？’

’Shelter，’repliedtheson。’I’mintrouble：，that’senough。If，I’mcaughtIshallswing;that’scertain。CaughtIshallbe，unlessIstophere;that’sAScertain。Andthere’sanendofit。’

’Youmeantosay，you’vebeenrobbing，ormurdering，then？’said，thefather。

’Yes，Ido，’repliedtheson。’Doesitsurpriseyou，father？’，He，lookedsteadilyintheman’sface，buthewithdrewhiseyes，and，bentthemontheground。

’Where’syourbrothers？’hesaid，afteralongpause。

’Wherethey’llnevertroubleyou，’repliedhisson：，’John’sgone，toAmerica，andHenry’sdead。’

’Dead！’saidthefather，withashudder，whichevenhecouldnot，express。

’Dead，’repliedtheyoungman。’Hediedinmyarms-shotlikea，dog，byagamekeeper。Hestaggeredback，Icaughthim，andhis，bloodtrickleddownmyhands。Itpouredoutfromhissidelike，water。Hewasweak，anditblindedhim，buthethrewhimselfdown，onhisknees，onthegrass，andprayedtoGod，thatifhismother，wasinheaven，Hewouldhearherprayersforpardonforher，youngestson。”Iwasherfavouriteboy，Will，“hesaid，“andIam，gladtothink，now，thatwhenshewasdying，thoughIwasavery，youngchildthen，andmylittleheartwasalmostbursting，Iknelt，downatthefootofthebed，andthankedGodforhavingmademeso，fondofherastohaveneveroncedoneanythingtobringthetears，intohereyes。OWill，whywasshetakenaway，andfatherleft？”

There’shisdyingwords，father，’saidtheyoungman;’makethe，bestyoucanof’em。Youstruckhimacrosstheface，inadrunken，fit，themorningweranaway;andhere’stheendofit。’

Thegirlweptaloud;andthefather，sinkinghisheaduponhis，knees，rockedhimselftoandfro。

’IfIamtaken，’saidtheyoungman，’Ishallbecarriedbackinto，thecountry，andhungforthatman’smurder。Theycannottraceme，here，withoutyourassistance，father。ForaughtIknow，youmay，givemeuptojustice;butunlessyoudo，hereIstop，untilIcan，venturetoescapeabroad。’

Fortwowholedays，allthreeremainedinthewretchedroom，withoutstirringout。Onthethirdevening，however，thegirlwas，worsethanshehadbeenyet，andthefewscrapsoffoodtheyhad，weregone。Itwasindispensablynecessarythatsomebodyshouldgo，out;andasthegirlwastooweakandill，thefatherwent，justat，nightfall。

Hegotsomemedicineforthegirl，andatrifleinthewayof，pecuniaryassistance。Onhiswayback，heearnedsixpenceby，holdingahorse;andheturnedhomewardswithenoughmoneyto，supplytheirmostpressingwantsfortwoorthreedaystocome。He，hadtopassthepublic-house。Helingeredforaninstant，walked，pastit，turnedbackagain，lingeredoncemore，andfinallyslunk，in。Twomenwhomhehadnotobserved，wereonthewatch。They，wereonthepointofgivinguptheirsearchindespair，whenhis，loiteringattractedtheirattention;andwhenheenteredthe，public-house，theyfollowedhim。

’You’lldrinkwithme，master，’saidoneofthem，profferinghima，glassofliquor。

’Andmetoo，’saidtheother，replenishingtheglassassoonasit，wasdrainedofitscontents。

Themanthoughtofhishungrychildren，andhisson’sdanger。But，theywerenothingtothedrunkard。HeDIDdrink;andhisreason，lefthim。

’Awetnight，Warden，’whisperedoneofthemeninhisear，ashe，atlengthturnedtogoaway，afterspendinginliquorone-halfof，themoneyonwhich，perhaps，hisdaughter’slifedepended。

’Therightsortofnightforourfriendsinhiding，MasterWarden，’

whisperedtheother。

’Sitdownhere，’saidtheonewhohadspokenfirst，drawinghim，intoacorner。’Wehavebeenlookingartertheyoungun。Wecame，totellhim，it’sallrightnow，butwecouldn’tfindhim’causewe，hadn’tgottheprecisedirection。Butthatain’tstrange，forI

don’tthinkheknow’dithimself，whenhecometoLondon，didhe？’

’No，hedidn’t，’repliedthefather。

Thetwomenexchangedglances。

’There’savesseldownatthedocks，tosailatmidnight，whenit’s，highwater，’resumedthefirstspeaker，’andwe’llputhimon，board。Hispassageistakeninanothername，andwhat’sbetter，thanthat，it’spaidfor。It’sluckywemetyou。’

’Very，’saidthesecond。

’Capitalluck，’saidthefirst，withawinktohiscompanion。

’Great，’repliedthesecond，withaslightnodofintelligence。

’Anotherglasshere;quick’-saidthefirstspeaker。Andinfive，minutesmore，thefatherhadunconsciouslyyieldeduphisownson，intothehangman’shands。

Slowlyandheavilythetimedraggedalong，asthebrotherand，sister，intheirmiserablehiding-place，listenedinanxious，suspensetotheslightestsound。Atlength，aheavyfootstepwas，hearduponthestair;itapproachednearer;itreachedthelanding;

andthefatherstaggeredintotheroom。

Thegirlsawthathewasintoxicated，andadvancedwiththecandle，inherhandtomeethim;shestoppedshort，gavealoudscream，and，fellsenselessontheground。Shehadcaughtsightoftheshadow，ofamanreflectedonthefloor。Theybothrushedin，andin，anotherinstanttheyoungmanwasaprisoner，andhandcuffed。

’Veryquietlydone，’saidoneofthementohiscompanion，’thanks，totheoldman。Liftupthegirl，Tom-come，come，it’snouse，crying，youngwoman。It’sallovernow，andcan’tbehelped。’

Theyoungmanstoopedforaninstantoverthegirl，andthenturned，fiercelyrounduponhisfather，whohadreeledagainstthewall，andwasgazingonthegroupwithdrunkenstupidity。

’Listentome，father，’hesaid，inatonethatmadethedrunkard’s，fleshcreep。’Mybrother’sblood，andmine，isonyourhead：，I

neverhadkindlook，orword，orcare，fromyou，andaliveordead，Ineverwillforgiveyou。Diewhenyouwill，orhow，Iwillbe，withyou。Ispeakasadeadmannow，andIwarnyou，father，that，assurelyasyoumustonedaystandbeforeyourMaker，sosurely，shallyourchildrenbethere，handinhand，tocryforjudgment，againstyou。’，Heraisedhismanacledhandsinathreatening，attitude，fixedhiseyesonhisshrinkingparent，andslowlyleft，theroom;andneitherfathernorsistereverbeheldhimmore，on，thissideofthegrave。

Whenthedimandmistylightofawinter’smorningpenetratedinto，thenarrowcourt，andstruggledthroughthebegrimedwindowofthe，wretchedroom，Wardenawokefromhisheavysleep，andfoundhimself，alone。Herose，andlookedroundhim;theoldflockmattresson，thefloorwasundisturbed;everythingwasjustasherememberedto，haveseenitlast：，andtherewerenosignsofanyone，save，himself，havingoccupiedtheroomduringthenight。Heinquiredof，theotherlodgers，andoftheneighbours;buthisdaughterhadnot，beenseenorheardof。Herambledthroughthestreets，and，scrutinisedeachwretchedfaceamongthecrowdsthatthrongedthem，withanxiouseyes。Buthissearchwasfruitless，andhereturned，tohisgarretwhennightcameon，desolateandweary。

Formanydaysheoccupiedhimselfinthesamemanner，butnotrace，ofhisdaughterdidhemeetwith，andnowordofherreachedhis，ears。Atlengthhegaveupthepursuitashopeless。Hehadlong，thoughtoftheprobabilityofherleavinghim，andendeavouringto，gainherbreadinquiet，elsewhere。Shehadlefthimatlastto，starvealone。Hegroundhisteeth，andcursedher！

Hebeggedhisbreadfromdoortodoor。Everyhalfpennyhecould，wringfromthepityorcredulityofthosetowhomheaddressed，himself，wasspentintheoldway。Ayearpassedoverhishead;

theroofofajailwastheonlyonethathadshelteredhimformany，months。Hesleptunderarchways，andinbrickfields-anywhere，wheretherewassomewarmthorshelterfromthecoldandrain。But，inthelaststageofpoverty，disease，andhouselesswant，hewasa，drunkardstill。

Atlast，onebitternight，hesunkdownonadoor-stepfaintand，ill。Theprematuredecayofviceandprofligacyhadwornhimto，thebone。Hischeekswerehollowandlivid;hiseyesweresunken，andtheirsightwasdim。Hislegstrembledbeneathhisweight，and，acoldshiverranthrougheverylimb。

Andnowthelong-forgottenscenesofamisspentlifecrowdedthick，andfastuponhim。Hethoughtofthetimewhenhehadahome-a，happy，cheerfulhome-andofthosewhopeopledit，andflocked，abouthimthen，untiltheformsofhiselderchildrenseemedto，risefromthegrave，andstandabouthim-soplain，soclear，and，sodistincttheywerethathecouldtouchandfeelthem。Looks，thathehadlongforgottenwerefixeduponhimoncemore;voices，longsincehushedindeathsoundedinhisearslikethemusicof，villagebells。Butitwasonlyforaninstant。Therainbeat，heavilyuponhim;andcoldandhungerweregnawingathisheart，again。

Herose，anddraggedhisfeeblelimbsafewpacesfurther。The，streetwassilentandempty;thefewpassengerswhopassedby，at，thatlatehour，hurriedquicklyon，andhistremulousvoicewas，lostintheviolenceofthestorm。Againthatheavychillstruck，throughhisframe，andhisbloodseemedtostagnatebeneathit。He，coiledhimselfupinaprojectingdoorway，andtriedtosleep。

Butsleephadfledfromhisdullandglazedeyes。Hismind，wanderedstrangely，buthewasawake，andconscious。Thewell-

knownshoutofdrunkenmirthsoundedinhisear，theglasswasat，hislips，theboardwascoveredwithchoicerichfood-theywere，beforehim：，hecouldseethemall，hehadbuttoreachouthis，hand，andtakethem-and，thoughtheillusionwasrealityitself，heknewthathewassittingaloneinthedesertedstreet，watching，therain-dropsastheypatteredonthestones;thatdeathwas，cominguponhimbyinches-andthattherewerenonetocareforor，helphim。

Suddenlyhestartedup，intheextremityofterror。Hehadheard，hisownvoiceshoutinginthenightair，heknewnotwhat，orwhy。

Hark！，Agroan！-another！，Hissenseswereleavinghim：，half-

formedandincoherentwordsburstfromhislips;andhishands，soughttotearandlaceratehisflesh。Hewasgoingmad，andhe，shriekedforhelptillhisvoicefailedhim。

Heraisedhishead，andlookedupthelongdismalstreet。He，recollectedthatoutcastslikehimself，condemnedtowanderdayand，nightinthosedreadfulstreets，hadsometimesgonedistractedwith，theirownloneliness。Herememberedtohaveheardmanyyears，beforethatahomelesswretchhadoncebeenfoundinasolitary，corner，sharpeningarustyknifetoplungeintohisownheart，preferringdeathtothatendless，weary，wanderingtoandfro。In，aninstanthisresolvewastaken，hislimbsreceivednewlife;he，ranquicklyfromthespot，andpausednotforbreathuntilhe，reachedtheriver-side。

Hecreptsoftlydownthesteepstonestairsthatleadfromthe，commencementofWaterlooBridge，downtothewater’slevel。He，crouchedintoacorner，andheldhisbreath，asthepatrolpassed。

Neverdidprisoner’sheartthrobwiththehopeoflibertyandlife，halfsoeagerlyasdidthatofthewretchedmanattheprospectof，death。Thewatchpassedclosetohim，butheremainedunobserved;

andafterwaitingtillthesoundoffootstepshaddiedawayinthe，distance，hecautiouslydescended，andstoodbeneaththegloomy，archthatformsthelanding-placefromtheriver。

Thetidewasin，andthewaterflowedathisfeet。Therainhad，ceased，thewindwaslulled，andallwas，forthemoment，stilland，quiet-soquiet，thattheslightestsoundontheoppositebank，eventheripplingofthewateragainstthebargesthatweremoored，there，wasdistinctlyaudibletohisear。Thestreamstole，languidlyandsluggishlyon。Strangeandfantasticformsroseto，thesurface，andbeckonedhimtoapproach;darkgleamingeyes，peeredfromthewater，andseemedtomockhishesitation，while，hollowmurmursfrombehind，urgedhimonwards。Heretreatedafew，paces，tookashortrun，desperateleap，andplungedintothe，river。

Notfivesecondshadpassedwhenherosetothewater’ssurface-

butwhatachangehadtakenplaceinthatshorttime，inallhis，thoughtsandfeelings！，Life-lifeinanyform，poverty，misery，starvation-anythingbutdeath。Hefoughtandstruggledwiththe，waterthatclosedoverhishead，andscreamedinagoniesofterror。

Thecurseofhisownsonranginhisears。Theshore-butone，footofdryground-hecouldalmosttouchthestep。Onehand’s，breadthnearer，andhewassaved-butthetideborehimonward，underthedarkarchesofthebridge，andhesanktothebottom。

Againherose，andstruggledforlife。Foroneinstant-forone，briefinstant-thebuildingsontheriver’sbanks，thelightson，thebridgethroughwhichthecurrenthadbornehim，theblack，water，andthefast-flyingclouds，weredistinctlyvisible-once，morehesunk，andonceagainherose。Brightflamesoffireshot，upfromearthtoheaven，andreeledbeforehiseyes，whilethe，waterthunderedinhisears，andstunnedhimwithitsfuriousroar。

Aweekafterwardsthebodywaswashedashore，somemilesdownthe，river，aswollenanddisfiguredmass。Unrecognisedandunpitied，itwasbornetothegrave;andthereithaslongsincemouldered，away！

THEMUDFOGANDOTHERSKETCHES

PUBLICLIFEOFMR。TULRUMBLE-ONCEMAYOROFMUDFOG

Mudfogisapleasanttown-aremarkablypleasanttown-situated，inacharminghollowbythesideofariver，fromwhichriver，Mudfogderivesanagreeablescentofpitch，tar，coals，andrope-

yarn，arovingpopulationinoilskinhats，aprettysteadyinflux，ofdrunkenbargemen，andagreatmanyothermaritimeadvantages。

ThereisagooddealofwateraboutMudfog，andyetitisnot，exactlythesortoftownforawatering-place，either。Waterisa，perversesortofelementatthebestoftimes，andinMudfogitis，particularlyso。Inwinter，itcomesoozingdownthestreetsand，tumblingoverthefields，-nay，rushesintotheverycellarsand，kitchensofthehouses，withalavishprodigalitythatmightwell，bedispensedwith;butinthehotsummerweatheritWILLdryup，andturngreen：，and，althoughgreenisaverygoodcolourinits，way，especiallyingrass，stillitcertainlyisnotbecomingto，water;anditcannotbedeniedthatthebeautyofMudfogisrather，impaired，evenbythistriflingcircumstance。Mudfogisahealthy，place-veryhealthy;-damp，perhaps，butnonetheworseforthat。

It’squiteamistaketosupposethatdampisunwholesome：，plants，thrivebestindampsituations，andwhyshouldn’tmen？，The，inhabitantsofMudfogareunanimousinassertingthatthereexists，notafinerraceofpeopleonthefaceoftheearth;herewehave，anindisputableandveraciouscontradictionofthevulgarerrorat，once。So，admittingMudfogtobedamp，wedistinctlystatethatit，issalubrious。

ThetownofMudfogisextremelypicturesque。Limehouseand，RatcliffHighwayarebothsomethinglikeit，buttheygiveyoua，veryfaintideaofMudfog。Thereareagreatmanymorepublic-

housesinMudfog-morethaninRatcliffHighwayandLimehouseput，together。Thepublicbuildings，too，areveryimposing。We，considerthetown-halloneofthefinestspecimensofshed，architecture，extant：，itisacombinationofthepig-styandtea-

garden-boxorders;andthesimplicityofitsdesignisof，surpassingbeauty。Theideaofplacingalargewindowononeside，ofthedoor，andasmalloneontheother，isparticularlyhappy。

ThereisafineoldDoricbeauty，too，aboutthepadlockand，scraper，whichisstrictlyinkeepingwiththegeneraleffect。

InthisroomdothemayorandcorporationofMudfogassemble，togetherinsolemncouncilforthepublicweal。Seatedonthe，massivewoodenbenches，which，withthetableinthecentre，form，theonlyfurnitureofthewhitewashedapartment，thesagemenof，Mudfogspendhourafterhouringravedeliberation。Herethey，settleatwhathourofthenightthepublic-housesshallbeclosed，atwhathourofthemorningtheyshallbepermittedtoopen，how，soonitshallbelawfulforpeopletoeattheirdinneronchurch-

days，andothergreatpoliticalquestions;andsometimes，long，aftersilencehasfallenonthetown，andthedistantlightsfrom，theshopsandhouseshaveceasedtotwinkle，likefar-offstars，to，thesightoftheboatmenontheriver，theilluminationinthetwo，unequal-sizedwindowsofthetown-hall，warnstheinhabitantsof，Mudfogthatitslittlebodyoflegislators，likealargerand，better-knownbodyofthesamegenus，agreatdealmorenoisy，and，notawhitmoreprofound，arepatrioticallydozingawayincompany，farintothenight，fortheircountry’sgood。

Amongthisknotofsageandlearnedmen，noonewassoeminently，distinguished，duringmanyyears，forthequietmodestyofhis，appearanceanddemeanour，asNicholasTulrumble，thewell-known，coal-dealer。Howeverexcitingthesubjectofdiscussion，however，animatedthetoneofthedebate，orhoweverwarmthepersonalities，exchanged，(andeveninMudfogwegetpersonalsometimes，)Nicholas，Tulrumblewasalwaysthesame。Tosaytruth，Nicholas，beingan，industriousman，andalwaysupbetimes，wasapttofallasleepwhen，adebatebegan，andtoremainasleeptillitwasover，whenhe，wouldwakeupverymuchrefreshed，andgivehisvotewiththe，greatestcomplacency。Thefactwas，thatNicholasTulrumble，knowingthateverybodytherehadmadeuphismindbeforehand，consideredthetalkingasjustalongbotherationaboutnothingat，all;andtothepresenthouritremainsaquestion，whether，on，thispointatallevents，NicholasTulrumblewasnotprettynear，right。

Time，whichstrewsaman’sheadwithsilver，sometimesfillshis，pocketswithgold。Ashegraduallyperformedonegoodofficefor，NicholasTulrumble，hewasobligingenough，nottoomittheother。