第15章

Nicholasbeganlifeinawoodentenementoffourfeetsquare，with，acapitaloftwoandninepence，andastockintradeofthree，bushelsanda-halfofcoals，exclusiveofthelargelumpwhich，hung，bywayofsign-board，outside。Thenheenlargedtheshed，andkeptatruck;thenhelefttheshed，andthetrucktoo，and，startedadonkeyandaMrs。Tulrumble;thenhemovedagainandset，upacart;thecartwassoonafterwardsexchangedforawaggon;and，sohewentonlikehisgreatpredecessorWhittington-onlywithout，acatforapartner-increasinginwealthandfame，untilatlast，hegaveupbusinessaltogether，andretiredwithMrs。Tulrumbleand，familytoMudfogHall，whichhehadhimselferected，onsomething，whichheattemptedtodeludehimselfintothebeliefwasahill，aboutaquarterofamiledistantfromthetownofMudfog。

Aboutthistime，itbegantobemurmuredinMudfogthatNicholas，Tulrumblewasgrowingvainandhaughty;thatprosperityandsuccess，hadcorruptedthesimplicityofhismanners，andtaintedthe，naturalgoodnessofhisheart;inshort，thathewassettingupfor，apubliccharacter，andagreatgentleman，andaffectedtolook，downuponhisoldcompanionswithcompassionandcontempt。Whether，thesereportswereatthetimewell-founded，ornot，certainitis，thatMrs。Tulrumbleveryshortlyafterwardsstartedafour-wheel，chaise，drivenbyatallpostilioninayellowcap，-thatMr。

Tulrumblejuniortooktosmokingcigars，andcallingthefootmana，’feller，’-andthatMr。Tulrumblefromthattimeforth，wasno，moreseeninhisoldseatinthechimney-corneroftheLighterman’s，Armsatnight。Thislookedbad;but，morethanthis，itbeganto，beobservedthatMr。NicholasTulrumbleattendedthecorporation，meetingsmorefrequentlythanheretofore;andhenolongerwentto，sleepashehaddoneforsomanyyears，butproppedhiseyelids，openwithhistwoforefingers;thathereadthenewspapersby，himselfathome;andthathewasinthehabitofindulgingabroad，indistantandmysteriousallusionsto’massesofpeople，’and’the，propertyofthecountry，’and’productivepower，’and’themonied，interest：’allofwhichdenotedandprovedthatNicholasTulrumble，waseithermad，orworse;anditpuzzledthegoodpeopleofMudfog，amazingly。

Atlength，aboutthemiddleofthemonthofOctober，Mr。Tulrumble，andfamilywentuptoLondon;themiddleofOctoberbeing，asMrs。

TulrumbleinformedheracquaintanceinMudfog，theveryheightof，thefashionableseason。

Somehoworother，justaboutthistime，despitethehealth-

preservingairofMudfog，theMayordied。Itwasamost，extraordinarycircumstance;hehadlivedinMudfogforeighty-five，years。Thecorporationdidn’tunderstanditatall;indeeditwas，withgreatdifficultythatoneoldgentleman，whowasagreat，sticklerforforms，wasdissuadedfromproposingavoteofcensure，onsuchunaccountableconduct。Strangeasitwas，however，diehe，did，withouttakingtheslightestnoticeofthecorporation;and，thecorporationwereimperativelycalledupontoelecthis，successor。So，theymetforthepurpose;andbeingveryfullof，NicholasTulrumblejustthen，andNicholasTulrumblebeingavery，importantman，theyelectedhim，andwroteofftoLondonbythe，verynextposttoacquaintNicholasTulrumblewithhisnew，elevation。

Now，itbeingNovembertime，andMr。NicholasTulrumblebeingin，thecapital，itfelloutthathewaspresentattheLordMayor’s，showanddinner，atsightofthegloryandsplendourwhereof，he，Mr。Tulrumble，wasgreatlymortified，inasmuchasthereflection，wouldforceitselfonhismind，that，hadhebeenborninLondon，insteadofinMudfog，hemighthavebeenaLordMayortoo，andhave，patronizedthejudges，andbeenaffabletotheLordChancellor，and，friendlywiththePremier，andcoldlycondescendingtothe，SecretarytotheTreasury，andhavedinedwithaflagbehindhis，back，anddoneagreatmanyotheractsanddeedswhichuntoLord，MayorsofLondonpeculiarlyappertain。Themorehethoughtofthe，LordMayor，themoreenviableapersonageheseemed。TobeaKing，wasallverywell;butwhatwastheKingtotheLordMayor！，When，theKingmadeaspeech，everybodyknewitwassomebodyelse’s，writing;whereasherewastheLordMayor，talkingawayforhalfan，hour-alloutofhisownhead-amidsttheenthusiasticapplauseof，thewholecompany，whileitwasnotoriousthattheKingmighttalk，tohisparliamenttillhewasblackinthefacewithoutgettingso，muchasasinglecheer。Asallthesereflectionspassedthrough，themindofMr。NicholasTulrumble，theLordMayorofLondon，appearedtohimthegreatestsovereignonthefaceoftheearth，beatingtheEmperorofRussiaalltonothing，andleavingtheGreat，Mogulimmeasurablybehind。

Mr。NicholasTulrumblewasponderingoverthesethings，and，inwardlycursingthefatewhichhadpitchedhiscoal-shedin，Mudfog，whentheletterofthecorporationwasputintohishand。

Acrimsonflushmantledoverhisfaceashereadit，forvisionsof，brightnesswerealreadydancingbeforehisimagination。

’Mydear，’saidMr。Tulrumbletohiswife，’theyhaveelectedme，MayorofMudfog。’

’Lor-a-mussy！’saidMrs。Tulrumble：，’whywhat’sbecomeofold，Sniggs？’

’ThelateMr。Sniggs，Mrs。Tulrumble，’saidMr。Tulrumblesharply，forhebynomeansapprovedofthenotionofunceremoniously，designatingagentlemanwhofilledthehighofficeofMayor，as，’OldSniggs，’-’ThelateMr。Sniggs，Mrs。Tulrumble，isdead。’

Thecommunicationwasveryunexpected;butMrs。Tulrumbleonly，ejaculated’Lor-a-mussy！’onceagain，asifaMayorwereamere，ordinaryChristian，atwhichMr。Tulrumblefrownedgloomily。

’Whatapity’tan’tinLondon，ain’tit？’saidMrs。Tulrumble，afterashortpause;’whatapity’tan’tinLondon，whereyoumight，havehadashow。’

’IMIGHThaveashowinMudfog，ifIthoughtproper，Iapprehend，’

saidMr。Tulrumblemysteriously。

’Lor！soyoumight，Ideclare，’repliedMrs。Tulrumble。

’Andagoodonetoo，’saidMr。Tulrumble。

’Delightful！’exclaimedMrs。Tulrumble。

’Onewhichwouldratherastonishtheignorantpeopledownthere，’

saidMr。Tulrumble。

’Itwouldkillthemwithenvy，’saidMrs。Tulrumble。

SoitwasagreedthathisMajesty’sliegesinMudfogshouldbe，astonishedwithsplendour，andslaughteredwithenvy，andthatsuch，ashowshouldtakeplaceashadneverbeenseeninthattown，orin，anyothertownbefore，-no，noteveninLondonitself。

Ontheverynextdayafterthereceiptoftheletter，downcamethe，tallpostilioninapost-chaise，-notupononeofthehorses，but，inside-actuallyinsidethechaise，-and，drivinguptothevery，doorofthetown-hall，wherethecorporationwereassembled，deliveredaletter，writtenbytheLordknowswho，andsignedby，NicholasTulrumble，inwhichNicholassaid，allthroughfoursides，ofclosely-written，gilt-edged，hot-pressed，Bathpostletter，paper，thatherespondedtothecallofhisfellow-townsmenwith，feelingsofheartfeltdelight;thatheacceptedthearduousoffice，whichtheirconfidencehadimposeduponhim;thattheywouldnever，findhimshrinkingfromthedischargeofhisduty;thathewould，endeavourtoexecutehisfunctionswithallthatdignitywhich，theirmagnitudeandimportancedemanded;andagreatdealmoreto，thesameeffect。Buteventhiswasnotall。Thetallpostilion，producedfromhisright-handtop-boot，adampcopyofthat，afternoon’snumberofthecountypaper;andthere，inlargetype，runningthewholelengthoftheveryfirstcolumn，wasalong，addressfromNicholasTulrumbletotheinhabitantsofMudfog，in，whichhesaidthathecheerfullycompliedwiththeirrequisition，and，inshort，asiftopreventanymistakeaboutthematter，told，themoveragainwhatagrandfellowhemeanttobe，inverymuch，thesametermsasthoseinwhichhehadalreadytoldthemallabout，thematterinhisletter。

Thecorporationstaredatoneanotherveryhardatallthis，and，thenlookedasifforexplanationtothetallpostilion，butasthe，***Quicktidiedandspell-checkedtohere-page501***

tallpostilionwasintentlycontemplatingthegoldtasselonthe，topofhisyellowcap，andcouldhaveaffordednoexplanation，whatever，evenifhisthoughtshadbeenentirelydisengaged，they，contentedthemselveswithcoughingverydubiously，andlookingvery，grave。Thetallpostilionthendeliveredanotherletter，inwhich，NicholasTulrumbleinformedthecorporation，thatheintended，repairingtothetown-hall，ingrandstateandgorgeousprocession，ontheMondayafternoonnextensuing。Atthisthecorporation，lookedstillmoresolemn;but，astheepistlewoundupwitha，formalinvitationtothewholebodytodinewiththeMayoronthat，day，atMudfogHall，MudfogHill，Mudfog，theybegantoseethefun，ofthethingdirectly，andsentbacktheircompliments，andthey’d，besuretocome。

NowtherehappenedtobeinMudfog，assomehoworothertheredoes，happentobe，inalmosteverytownintheBritishdominions，and，perhapsinforeigndominionstoo-wethinkitverylikely，but，beingnogreattraveller，cannotdistinctlysay-therehappenedto，be，inMudfog，amerry-tempered，pleasant-faced，good-for-nothing，sortofvagabond，withaninvincibledisliketomanuallabour，and，anunconquerableattachmenttostrongbeerandspirits，whom，everybodyknew，andnobody，excepthiswife，tookthetroubleto，quarrelwith，whoinheritedfromhisancestorstheappellationof，EdwardTwigger，andrejoicedintheSOBRIQUETofBottle-nosedNed。

Hewasdrunkupontheaverageonceaday，andpenitentuponan，equallyfaircalculationonceamonth;andwhenhewaspenitent，he，wasinvariablyintheverylaststageofmaudlinintoxication。He，wasaragged，roving，roaringkindoffellow，withaburlyform，a，sharpwit，andareadyhead，andcouldturnhishandtoanything，whenhechosetodoit。Hewasbynomeansopposedtohardlabour，onprinciple，forhewouldworkawayatacricket-matchbytheday，together，-running，andcatching，andbatting，andbowling，and，revellingintoilwhichwouldexhaustagalley-slave。Hewould，havebeeninvaluabletoafire-office;neverwasamanwithsucha，naturaltasteforpumpingengines，runningupladders，andthrowing，furnitureoutoftwo-pair-of-stairs’windows：，norwasthisthe，onlyelementinwhichhewasathome;hewasahumanesocietyin，himself，aportabledrag，ananimatedlife-preserver，andhadsaved，morepeople，inhistime，fromdrowning，thanthePlymouthlife-

boat，orCaptainManby’sapparatus。Withallthesequalifications，notwithstandinghisdissipation，Bottle-nosedNedwasageneral，favourite;andtheauthoritiesofMudfog，rememberinghisnumerous，servicestothepopulation，allowedhiminreturntogetdrunkin，hisownway，withoutthefearofstocks，fine，orimprisonment。He，hadagenerallicence，andheshowedhissenseofthecomplimentby，makingthemostofit。

Wehavebeenthusparticularindescribingthecharacterand，avocationsofBottle-nosedNed，becauseitenablesustointroduce，afactpolitely，withouthaulingitintothereader’spresencewith，indecenthastebytheheadandshoulders，andbringsusvery，naturallytorelate，thatontheverysameeveningonwhichMr。

NicholasTulrumbleandfamilyreturnedtoMudfog，Mr。Tulrumble’s，newsecretary，justimportedfromLondon，withapalefaceand，lightwhiskers，thrusthisheaddowntotheverybottomofhis，neckcloth-tie，inatthetap-roomdooroftheLighterman’sArms，andinquiringwhetheroneNedTwiggerwasluxuriatingwithin，announcedhimselfasthebearerofamessagefromNicholas，Tulrumble，Esquire，requiringMr。Twigger’simmediateattendanceat，thehall，onprivateandparticularbusiness。Itbeingbynomeans，Mr。Twigger’sinteresttoaffronttheMayor，herosefromthe，fireplacewithaslightsigh，andfollowedthelight-whiskered，secretarythroughthedirtandwetofMudfogstreets，uptoMudfog，Hall，withoutfurtherado。

Mr。NicholasTulrumblewasseatedinasmallcavernwitha，skylight，whichhecalledhislibrary，sketchingoutaplanofthe，processiononalargesheetofpaper;andintothecavernthe，secretaryusheredNedTwigger。

’Well，Twigger！’saidNicholasTulrumble，condescendingly。

TherewasatimewhenTwiggerwouldhavereplied，’Well，Nick！’but，thatwasinthedaysofthetruck，andacoupleofyearsbeforethe，donkey;so，heonlybowed。

’Iwantyoutogointotraining，Twigger，’saidMr。Tulrumble。

’Whatfor，sir？’inquiredNed，withastare。

’Hush，hush，Twigger！’saidtheMayor。’Shutthedoor，Mr。

Jennings。Lookhere，Twigger。’

AstheMayorsaidthis，heunlockedahighcloset，anddiscloseda，completesuitofbrassarmour，ofgiganticdimensions。

’IwantyoutowearthisnextMonday，Twigger，’saidtheMayor。

’Blessyourheartandsoul，sir！’repliedNed，’youmightaswell，askmetowearaseventy-fourpounder，oracast-ironboiler。’

’Nonsense，Twigger，nonsense！’saidtheMayor。

’Icouldn’tstandunderit，sir，’saidTwigger;’itwouldmake，mashedpotatoesofme，ifIattemptedit。’

’Pooh，pooh，Twigger！’returnedtheMayor。’ItellyouIhaveseen，itdonewithmyowneyes，inLondon，andthemanwasn’thalfsucha，manasyouare，either。’

’Ishouldassoonhavethoughtofaman’swearingthecaseofan，eight-dayclocktosavehislinen，’saidTwigger，castingalookof，apprehensionatthebrasssuit。

’It’stheeasiestthingintheworld，’rejoinedtheMayor。

’It’snothing，’saidMr。Jennings。

’Whenyou’reusedtoit，’addedNed。

’Youdoitbydegrees，’saidtheMayor。’Youwouldbeginwithone，pieceto-morrow，andtwothenextday，andsoon，tillyouhadgot，itallon。Mr。Jennings，giveTwiggeraglassofrum。Justtry，thebreast-plate，Twigger。Stay;takeanotherglassofrumfirst。

Helpmetoliftit，Mr。Jennings。Standfirm，Twigger！，There！-

itisn’thalfasheavyasitlooks，isit？’

Twiggerwasagoodstrong，stoutfellow;so，afteragreatdealof，staggering，hemanagedtokeephimselfup，underthebreastplate，andevencontrived，withtheaidofanotherglassofrum，towalk，aboutinit，andthegauntletsintothebargain。Hemadeatrial，ofthehelmet，butwasnotequallysuccessful，inasmuchashe，tippedoverinstantly，-anaccidentwhichMr。Tulrumbleclearly，demonstratedtobeoccasionedbyhisnothavingacounteracting，weightofbrassonhislegs。

’Now，wearthatwithgraceandproprietyonMondaynext，’said，Tulrumble，’andI’llmakeyourfortune。’

’I’lltrywhatIcando，sir，’saidTwigger。

’Itmustbekeptaprofoundsecret，’saidTulrumble。

’Ofcourse，sir，’repliedTwigger。

’Andyoumustbesober，’saidTulrumble;’perfectlysober。’，Mr。

Twiggeratoncesolemnlypledgedhimselftobeassoberasajudge，andNicholasTulrumblewassatisfied，although，hadwebeen，Nicholas，weshouldcertainlyhaveexactedsomepromiseofamore，specificnature;inasmuchas，havingattendedtheMudfogassizesin，theeveningmorethanonce，wecansolemnlytestifytohavingseen，judgeswithverystrongsymptomsofdinnerundertheirwigs。

However，that’sneitherherenorthere。

Thenextday，andthedayfollowing，andthedayafterthat，Ned，Twiggerwassecurelylockedupinthesmallcavernwiththesky-

light，hardatworkatthearmour。Witheveryadditionalpiecehe，couldmanagetostanduprightin，hehadanadditionalglassof，rum;andatlast，aftermanypartialsuffocations，hecontrivedto，getonthewholesuit，andtostaggerupanddowntheroominit，likeanintoxicatedeffigyfromWestminsterAbbey。

NeverwasmansodelightedasNicholasTulrumble;neverwaswoman，socharmedasNicholasTulrumble’swife。Herewasasightforthe，commonpeopleofMudfog！，Alivemaninbrassarmour！，Why，they，wouldgowildwithwonder！

Theday-THEMonday-arrived。

Ifthemorninghadbeenmadetoorder，itcouldn’thavebeenbetter，adaptedtothepurpose。TheynevershowedabetterfoginLondon，onLordMayor’sday，thanenwrappedthetownofMudfogonthat，eventfuloccasion。Ithadrisenslowlyandsurelyfromthegreen，andstagnantwaterwiththefirstlightofmorning，untilit，reachedalittleabovethelamp-posttops;andthereithad，stopped，withasleepy，sluggishobstinacy，whichbadedefianceto，thesun，whohadgotupveryblood-shotabouttheeyes，asifhe，hadbeenatadrinking-partyover-night，andwasdoinghisday’s，workwiththeworstpossiblegrace。Thethickdampmisthungover，thetownlikeahugegauzecurtain。Allwasdimanddismal。The，churchsteepleshadbiddenatemporaryadieutotheworldbelow;

andeveryobjectoflesserimportance-houses，barns，hedges，trees，andbarges-hadalltakentheveil。

Thechurch-clockstruckone。Acrackedtrumpetfromthefront，gardenofMudfogHallproducedafeebleflourish，asifsome，asthmaticpersonhadcoughedintoitaccidentally;thegateflew，open，andoutcameagentleman，onamoist-sugarcolouredcharger，intendedtorepresentaherald，butbearingamuchstronger，resemblancetoacourt-cardonhorseback。Thiswasoneofthe，Circuspeople，whoalwayscamedowntoMudfogatthattimeofthe，year，andwhohadbeenengagedbyNicholasTulrumbleexpresslyfor，theoccasion。Therewasthehorse，whiskinghistailabout，balancinghimselfonhishind-legs，andflourishingawaywithhis，fore-feet，inamannerwhichwouldhavegonetotheheartsand，soulsofanyreasonablecrowd。ButaMudfogcrowdneverwasa，reasonableone，andinallprobabilityneverwillbe。Insteadof，scatteringtheveryfogwiththeirshouts，astheyoughtmost，indubitablytohavedone，andwerefullyintendedtodo，by，NicholasTulrumble，theynosoonerrecognizedtheherald，thanthey，begantogrowlforththemostunqualifieddisapprobationatthe，barenotionofhisridinglikeanyotherman。Ifhehadcomeout，onhisheadindeed，orjumpingthroughahoop，orflyingthrougha，red-hotdrum，orevenstandingononelegwithhisotherfootin，hismouth，theymighthavehadsomethingtosaytohim;butfora，professionalgentlemantositastrideinthesaddle，withhisfeet，inthestirrups，wasrathertoogoodajoke。So，theheraldwasa，decidedfailure，andthecrowdhootedwithgreatenergy，ashe，prancedingloriouslyaway。

Ontheprocessioncame。Weareafraidtosayhowmany，supernumerariestherewere，instripedshirtsandblackvelvet，caps，toimitatetheLondonwatermen，orhowmanybaseimitations，ofrunning-footmen，orhowmanybanners，which，owingtothe，heavinessoftheatmosphere，couldbynomeansbeprevailedonto，displaytheirinscriptions：，stilllessdowefeeldisposedto，relatehowthemenwhoplayedthewindinstruments，lookingupinto，thesky(wemeanthefog)withmusicalfervour，walkedthrough，poolsofwaterandhillocksofmud，tilltheycoveredthepowdered，headsoftherunning-footmenaforesaidwithsplashes，thatlooked，curious，butnotornamental;orhowthebarrel-organperformerput，onthewrongstop，andplayedonetunewhilethebandplayed，another;orhowthehorses，beingusedtothearena，andnottothe，streets，wouldstandstillanddance，insteadofgoingonand，prancing;-allofwhicharematterswhichmightbedilateduponto，greatadvantage，butwhichwehavenottheleastintentionof，dilatingupon，notwithstanding。

Oh！itwasagrandandbeautifulsighttobeholdacorporationin，glasscoaches，providedatthesolecostandchargeofNicholas，Tulrumble，comingrollingalong，likeafuneraloutofmourning，andtowatchtheattemptsthecorporationmadetolookgreatand，solemn，whenNicholasTulrumblehimself，inthefour-wheelchaise，withthetallpostilion，rolledoutafterthem，withMr。Jennings，ononesidetolooklikeachaplain，andasupernumeraryonthe，other，withanoldlife-guardsman’ssabre，toimitatethesword-

bearer;andtoseethetearsrollingdownthefacesofthemobas，theyscreamedwithmerriment。Thiswasbeautiful！andsowasthe，appearanceofMrs。Tulrumbleandson，astheybowedwithgrave，dignityoutoftheircoach-windowtoallthedirtyfacesthatwere，laughingaroundthem：，butitisnotevenwiththisthatwehaveto，do，butwiththesuddenstoppingoftheprocessionatanotherblast，ofthetrumpet，whereat，andwhereupon，aprofoundsilenceensued，andalleyeswereturnedtowardsMudfogHall，intheconfident，anticipationofsomenewwonder。

’Theywon’tlaughnow，Mr。Jennings，’saidNicholasTulrumble。

’Ithinknot，sir，’saidMr。Jennings。

’Seehoweagertheylook，’saidNicholasTulrumble。’Aha！the，laughwillbeonoursidenow;eh，Mr。Jennings？’

’Nodoubtofthat，sir，’repliedMr。Jennings;andNicholas，Tulrumble，inastateofpleasurableexcitement，stoodupinthe，four-wheelchaise，andtelegraphedgratificationtotheMayoress，behind。

Whileallthiswasgoingforward，NedTwiggerhaddescendedinto，thekitchenofMudfogHallforthepurposeofindulgingthe，servantswithaprivateviewofthecuriositythatwastoburst，uponthetown;and，somehoworother，thefootmanwasso，companionable，andthehousemaidsokind，andthecooksofriendly，thathecouldnotresisttheofferofthefirst-mentionedtosit，downandtakesomething-justtodrinksuccesstomasterin。

So，downNedTwiggersathimselfinhisbrassliveryonthetopof，thekitchen-table;andinamugofsomethingstrong，paidforby，theunconsciousNicholasTulrumble，andprovidedbythe，companionablefootman，dranksuccesstotheMayorandhis，procession;and，asNedlaidbyhishelmettoimbibethesomething，strong，thecompanionablefootmanputitonhisownhead，tothe，immeasurableandunrecordabledelightofthecookandhousemaid。

ThecompanionablefootmanwasveryfacetioustoNed，andNedwas，verygallanttothecookandhousemaidbyturns。Theywereall，verycosyandcomfortable;andthesomethingstrongwentbriskly，round。

AtlastNedTwiggerwasloudlycalledfor，bytheprocession，people：，and，havinghadhishelmetfixedon，inaverycomplicated，manner，bythecompanionablefootman，andthekindhousemaid，and，thefriendlycook，hewalkedgravelyforth，andappearedbeforethe，multitude。

Thecrowdroared-itwasnotwithwonder，itwasnotwith，surprise;itwasmostdecidedlyandunquestionablywithlaughter。

’What！’saidMr。Tulrumble，startingupinthefour-wheelchaise。

’Laughing？，Iftheylaughatamaninrealbrassarmour，they’d，laughwhentheirownfathersweredying。Whydoesn’thegointo，hisplace，Mr。Jennings？，What’sherollingdowntowardsusfor？he，hasnobusinesshere！’

’Iamafraid，sir-’falteredMr。Jennings。

’Afraidofwhat，sir？’saidNicholasTulrumble，lookingupintothe，secretary’sface。

’Iamafraidhe’sdrunk，sir，’repliedMr。Jennings。

NicholasTulrumbletookonelookattheextraordinaryfigurethat，wasbearingdownuponthem;andthen，claspinghissecretarybythe，arm，utteredanaudiblegroaninanguishofspirit。

ItisamelancholyfactthatMr。Twiggerhavingfulllicenceto，demandasingleglassofrumontheputtingonofeverypieceof，thearmour，got，bysomemeansorother，ratheroutofhis，calculationinthehurryandconfusionofpreparation，anddrank，aboutfourglassestoapieceinsteadofone，nottomentionthe，somethingstrongwhichwentonthetopofit。Whetherthebrass，armourcheckedthenaturalflowofperspiration，andthusprevented，thespiritfromevaporating，wearenotscientificenoughtoknow;

but，whateverthecausewas，Mr。Twiggernosoonerfoundhimself，outsidethegateofMudfogHall，thanhealsofoundhimselfina，veryconsiderablestateofintoxication;andhencehis，extraordinarystyleofprogressing。Thiswasbadenough，but，as，iffateandfortunehadconspiredagainstNicholasTulrumble，Mr。

Twigger，nothavingbeenpenitentforagoodcalendarmonth，took，itintohisheadtobemostespeciallyandparticularly，sentimental，justwhenhisrepentancecouldhavebeenmost，convenientlydispensedwith。Immensetearswererollingdownhis，cheeks，andhewasvainlyendeavouringtoconcealhisgriefby，applyingtohiseyesabluecottonpocket-handkerchiefwithwhite，spots，-anarticlenotstrictlyinkeepingwithasuitofarmour，somethreehundredyearsold，orthereabouts。

’Twigger，youvillain！’saidNicholasTulrumble，quiteforgetting，hisdignity，’goback。’

’Never，’saidNed。’I’mamiserablewretch。I’llneverleave，you。’

Theby-standersofcoursereceivedthisdeclarationwith，acclamationsof’That’sright，Ned;don’t！’

’Idon’tintendit，’saidNed，withalltheobstinacyofavery，tipsyman。’I’mveryunhappy。I’mthewretchedfatherofan，unfortunatefamily;butIamveryfaithful，sir。I’llneverleave，you。’，Havingreiteratedthisobligingpromise，Nedproceededin，brokenwordstoharanguethecrowduponthenumberofyearshehad，livedinMudfog，theexcessiverespectabilityofhischaracter，and，othertopicsofthelikenature。

’Here！willanybodyleadhimaway？’saidNicholas：，’ifthey’ll，callonmeafterwards，I’llrewardthemwell。’

Twoorthreemensteppedforward，withtheviewofbearingNedoff，whenthesecretaryinterposed。

’Takecare！takecare！’saidMr。Jennings。’Ibegyourpardon，sir;butthey’dbetternotgotoonearhim，because，ifhefalls，over，he’llcertainlycrushsomebody。’

Atthishintthecrowdretiredonallsidestoaveryrespectful，distance，andleftNed，liketheDukeofDevonshire，inalittle，circleofhisown。

’But，Mr。Jennings，’saidNicholasTulrumble，’he’llbe，suffocated。’

’I’mverysorryforit，sir，’repliedMr。Jennings;’butnobodycan，getthatarmouroff，withouthisownassistance。I’mquitecertain，ofitfromthewayheputiton。’

HereNedweptdolefully，andshookhishelmetedhead，inamanner，thatmighthavetouchedaheartofstone;butthecrowdhadnot，heartsofstone，andtheylaughedheartily。

’Dearme，Mr。Jennings，’saidNicholas，turningpaleatthe，possibilityofNed’sbeingsmotheredinhisantiquecostume-’Dear，me，Mr。Jennings，cannothingbedonewithhim？’

’Nothingatall，’repliedNed，’nothingatall。Gentlemen，I’man，unhappywretch。I’mabody，gentlemen，inabrasscoffin。’，At，thispoeticalideaofhisownconjuringup，Nedcriedsomuchthat，thepeoplebegantogetsympathetic，andtoaskwhatNicholas，Tulrumblemeantbyputtingamanintosuchamachineasthat;and，oneindividualinahairywaistcoatlikethetopofatrunk，who，hadpreviouslyexpressedhisopinionthatifNedhadn’tbeenapoor，man，Nicholaswouldn’thavedareddoit，hintedattheproprietyof，breakingthefour-wheelchaise，orNicholas’shead，orboth，which，lastcompoundpropositionthecrowdseemedtoconsideraverygood，notion。

Itwasnotactedupon，however，forithadhardlybeenbroached，whenNedTwigger’swifemadeherappearanceabruptlyinthelittle，circlebeforenoticed，andNednosoonercaughtaglimpseofher，faceandform，thanfromthemereforceofhabithesetofftowards，hishomejustasfastashislegscouldcarryhim;andthatwasnot，veryquickinthepresentinstanceeither，for，howeverreadythey，mighthavebeentocarryHIM，theycouldn’tgetonverywellunder，thebrassarmour。So，Mrs。Twiggerhadplentyoftimetodenounce，NicholasTulrumbletohisface：，toexpressheropinionthathewas，adecidedmonster;andtointimatethat，ifherill-usedhusband，sustainedanypersonaldamagefromthebrassarmour，shewouldhave，thelawofNicholasTulrumbleformanslaughter。Whenshehadsaid，allthiswithduevehemence，shepostedafterNed，whowasdragging，himselfalongasbesthecould，anddeploringhisunhappinessin，mostdismaltones。

WhatawailingandscreamingNed’schildrenraisedwhenhegothome，atlast！，Mrs。Twiggertriedtoundothearmour，firstinone，place，andtheninanother，butshecouldn’tmanageit;soshe，tumbledNedintobed，helmet，armour，gauntlets，andall。Sucha，creakingasthebedsteadmade，underNed’sweightinhisnewsuit！

Itdidn’tbreakdownthough;andthereNedlay，liketheanonymous，vesselintheBayofBiscay，tillnextday，drinkingbarley-water，andlookingmiserable：，andeverytimehegroaned，hisgoodlady，saiditservedhimright，whichwasalltheconsolationNedTwigger，got。

NicholasTulrumbleandthegorgeousprocessionwentontogetherto，thetown-hall，amidthehissesandgroansofallthespectators，whohadsuddenlytakenitintotheirheadstoconsiderpoorNeda，martyr。Nicholaswasformallyinstalledinhisnewoffice，in，acknowledgmentofwhichceremonyhedeliveredhimselfofaspeech，composedbythesecretary，whichwasverylong，andnodoubtvery，good，onlythenoiseofthepeopleoutsidepreventedanybodyfrom，hearingit，butNicholasTulrumblehimself。Afterwhich，the，processiongotbacktoMudfogHallanyhowitcould;andNicholas，andthecorporationsatdowntodinner。

Butthedinnerwasflat，andNicholaswasdisappointed。Theywere，suchdullsleepyoldfellows，thatcorporation。Nicholasmade，quiteaslongspeechesastheLordMayorofLondonhaddone，nay，hesaidtheverysamethingsthattheLordMayorofLondonhad，said，andthedeuceacheerthecorporationgavehim。Therewas，onlyonemaninthepartywhowasthoroughlyawake;andhewas，insolent，andcalledhimNick。Nick！，Whatwouldbethe，consequence，thoughtNicholas，ofanybodypresumingtocallthe，LordMayorofLondon’Nick！’，Heshouldliketoknowwhatthe，sword-bearerwouldsaytothat;ortherecorder，orthetoast-

master，oranyotherofthegreatofficersofthecity。They’d，nickhim。

ButthesewerenottheworstofNicholasTulrumble’sdoings。If，theyhadbeen，hemighthaveremainedaMayortothisday，andhave，talkedtillhelosthisvoice。Hecontractedarelishfor，statistics，andgotphilosophical;andthestatisticsandthe，philosophytogether，ledhimintoanactwhichincreasedhis，unpopularityandhastenedhisdownfall。

AttheveryendoftheMudfogHigh-street，andabuttingonthe，river-side，standstheJollyBoatmen，anold-fashionedlow-roofed，bay-windowedhouse，withabar，kitchen，andtap-roomallinone，andalargefireplacewithakettletocorrespond，roundwhichthe，workingmenhavecongregatedtimeoutofmindonawinter’snight，refreshedbydraughtsofgoodstrongbeer，andcheeredbythe，soundsofafiddleandtambourine：，theJollyBoatmenhavingbeen，dulylicensedbytheMayorandcorporation，toscrapethefiddle，andthumbthetambourinefromtime，whereofthememoryofthe，oldestinhabitantsgoethnottothecontrary。NowNicholas，Tulrumblehadbeenreadingpamphletsoncrime，andparliamentary，reports，-orhadmadethesecretaryreadthemtohim，whichisthe，samethingineffect，-andheatonceperceivedthatthisfiddle，andtambourinemusthavedonemoretodemoralizeMudfog，thanany，otheroperatingcausesthatingenuitycouldimagine。Sohereadup，forthesubject，anddeterminedtocomeoutonthecorporationwith，aburst，theverynexttimethelicencewasappliedfor。

Thelicensingdaycame，andthered-facedlandlordoftheJolly，Boatmenwalkedintothetown-hall，lookingasjollyasneedbe，havingactuallyputonanextrafiddleforthatnight，to，commemoratetheanniversaryoftheJollyBoatmen’smusiclicence。

Itwasappliedforindueform，andwasjustabouttobegrantedas，amatterofcourse，whenuproseNicholasTulrumble，anddrowned，theastonishedcorporationinatorrentofeloquence。Hedescanted，inglowingtermsupontheincreasingdepravityofhisnativetown，ofMudfog，andtheexcessescommittedbyitspopulation。Then，he，relatedhowshockedhehadbeen，toseebarrelsofbeersliding，downintothecellaroftheJollyBoatmenweekafterweek;andhow，hehadsatatawindowoppositetheJollyBoatmenfortwodays，together，tocountthepeoplewhowentinforbeerbetweenthe，hoursoftwelveandoneo’clockalone-which，by-the-bye，wasthe，timeatwhichthegreatmajorityoftheMudfogpeopledined。Then，hewentontostate，howthenumberofpeoplewhocameoutwith，beer-jugs，averagedtwenty-oneinfiveminutes，which，being，multipliedbytwelve，gavetwohundredandfifty-twopeoplewith，beer-jugsinanhour，andmultipliedagainbyfifteen(thenumber，ofhoursduringwhichthehousewasopendaily)yieldedthree，thousandsevenhundredandeightypeoplewithbeer-jugsperday，or，twenty-sixthousandfourhundredandsixtypeoplewithbeer-jugs，perweek。Thenheproceededtoshowthatatambourineandmoral，degradationweresynonymousterms，andafiddleandvicious，propensitieswhollyinseparable。Alltheseargumentshe，strengthenedanddemonstratedbyfrequentreferencestoalarge，bookwithabluecover，andsundryquotationsfromtheMiddlesex，magistrates;andintheend，thecorporation，whowereposedwith，thefigures，andsleepywiththespeech，andsadlyinwantof，dinnerintothebargain，yieldedthepalmtoNicholasTulrumble，andrefusedthemusiclicencetotheJollyBoatmen。

ButalthoughNicholastriumphed，histriumphwasshort。Hecarried，onthewaragainstbeer-jugsandfiddles，forgettingthetimewhen，hewasgladtodrinkoutoftheone，andtodancetotheother，tillthepeoplehated，andhisoldfriendsshunnedhim。Hegrew，tiredofthelonelymagnificenceofMudfogHall，andhisheart，yearnedtowardstheLighterman’sArms。Hewishedhehadneverset，upasapublicman，andsighedforthegoodoldtimesofthecoal-

shop，andthechimneycorner。

AtlengtholdNicholas，beingthoroughlymiserable，tookheartof，grace，paidthesecretaryaquarter’swagesinadvance，andpacked，himofftoLondonbythenextcoach。Havingtakenthisstep，he，puthishatonhishead，andhisprideinhispocket，andwalked，downtotheoldroomattheLighterman’sArms。Therewereonlytwo，oftheoldfellowsthere，andtheylookedcoldlyonNicholasashe，profferedhishand。

’Areyougoingtoputdownpipes，Mr。Tulrumble？’saidone。

’Ortracetheprogressofcrimeto’bacca？’growledanother。

’Neither，’repliedNicholasTulrumble，shakinghandswiththem，both，whethertheywouldornot。’I’vecomedowntosaythatI’m，verysorryforhavingmadeafoolofmyself，andthatIhopeyou’ll，givemeuptheoldchair，again。’

Theoldfellowsopenedtheireyes，andthreeorfourmoreold，fellowsopenedthedoor，towhomNicholas，withtearsinhiseyes，thrustouthishandtoo，andtoldthesamestory。Theyraiseda，shoutofjoy，thatmadethebellsintheancientchurch-tower，vibrateagain，andwheelingtheoldchairintothewarmcorner，thrustoldNicholasdownintoit，andorderedintheverylargest-

sizedbowlofhotpunch，withanunlimitednumberofpipes，directly。

Thenextday，theJollyBoatmengotthelicence，andthenext，night，oldNicholasandNedTwigger’swifeledoffadancetothe，musicofthefiddleandtambourine，thetoneofwhichseemed，mightilyimprovedbyalittlerest，fortheyneverhadplayedso，merrilybefore。NedTwiggerwasintheveryheightofhisglory，andhedancedhornpipes，andbalancedchairsonhischin，and，strawsonhisnose，tillthewholecompany，includingthe，corporation，wereinrapturesofadmirationatthebrilliancyof，hisacquirements。

Mr。Tulrumble，junior，couldn’tmakeuphismindtobeanythingbut，magnificent，sohewentuptoLondonanddrewbillsonhisfather;

andwhenhehadoverdrawn，andgotintodebt，hegrewpenitent，and，camehomeagain。

AstooldNicholas，hekepthisword，andhavinghadsixweeksof，publiclife，nevertrieditanymore。Hewenttosleepinthe，town-hallattheverynextmeeting;and，infullproofofhis，sincerity，hasrequestedustowritethisfaithfulnarrative。We，wishitcouldhavetheeffectofremindingtheTulrumblesof，anothersphere，thatpuffed-upconceitisnotdignity，andthat，snarlingatthelittlepleasurestheywereoncegladtoenjoy，becausetheywouldratherforgetthetimeswhentheywereoflower，station，rendersthemobjectsofcontemptandridicule。

Thisisthefirsttimewehavepublishedanyofourgleaningsfrom，thisparticularsource。Perhaps，atsomefutureperiod，wemay，venturetoopenthechroniclesofMudfog。

FULLREPORTOFTHEFIRSTMEETINGOFTHEMUDFOGASSOCIATION

FORTHEADVANCEMENTOFEVERYTHING

Wehavemadethemostunparalleledandextraordinaryexertionsto，placebeforeourreadersacompleteandaccurateaccountofthe，proceedingsatthelategrandmeetingoftheMudfogAssociation，holdeninthetownofMudfog;itaffordsusgreathappinesstolay，theresultbeforethem，intheshapeofvariouscommunications，receivedfromourable，talented，andgraphiccorrespondent，expresslysentdownforthepurpose，whohasimmortalizedus，himself，Mudfog，andtheassociation，allatoneandthesametime。

Wehavebeen，indeed，forsomedaysunabletodeterminewhowill，transmitthegreatestnametoposterity;ourselves，whosentour，correspondentdown;ourcorrespondent，whowroteanaccountofthe，matter;ortheassociation，whogaveourcorrespondentsomethingto，writeabout。Weratherinclinetotheopinionthatwearethe，greatestmanoftheparty，inasmuchasthenotionofanexclusive，andauthenticreportoriginatedwithus;thismaybeprejudice：，it，mayarisefromaprepossessiononourpartinourownfavour。Be，itso。Wehavenodoubtthateverygentlemanconcernedinthis，mightyassemblageistroubledwiththesamecomplaintinagreater，orlessdegree;anditisaconsolationtoustoknowthatwehave，atleastthisfeelingincommonwiththegreatscientificstars，thebrilliantandextraordinaryluminaries，whosespeculationswe，record。

Wegiveourcorrespondent’slettersintheorderinwhichthey，reachedus。Anyattemptatamalgamatingthemintoonebeautiful，whole，wouldonlydestroythatglowingtone，thatdashofwildness，andrichveinofpicturesqueinterest，whichpervadethem，throughout。

’MUDFOG，MONDAYNIGHT，SEVENO’CLOCK。

’Weareinastateofgreatexcitementhere。Nothingisspokenof，buttheapproachingmeetingoftheassociation。Theinn-doorsare，throngedwithwaitersanxiouslylookingfortheexpectedarrivals;

andthenumerousbillswhicharewaferedupinthewindowsof，privatehouses，intimatingthattherearebedstoletwithin，give，thestreetsaveryanimatedandcheerfulappearance，thewafers，beingofagreatvarietyofcolours，andthemonotonyofprinted，inscriptionsbeingrelievedbyeverypossiblesizeandstyleof，hand-writing。ItisconfidentlyrumouredthatProfessorsSnore，Doze，andWheezyhaveengagedthreebedsandasitting-roomatthe，PigandTinder-box。Igiveyoutherumourasithasreachedme;

butIcannot，asyet，vouchforitsaccuracy。ThemomentIhave，beenenabledtoobtainanycertaininformationuponthis，interestingpoint，youmaydependuponreceivingit。’

’HALF-PASTSEVEN。

Ihavejustreturnedfromapersonalinterviewwiththelandlordof，thePigandTinder-box。Hespeaksconfidentlyoftheprobability，ofProfessorsSnore，Doze，andWheezytakinguptheirresidenceat，hishouseduringthesittingoftheassociation，butdeniesthat，thebedshavebeenyetengaged;inwhichrepresentationheis，confirmedbythechambermaid-agirlofartlessmanners，and，interestingappearance。Thebootsdeniesthatitisatalllikely，thatProfessorsSnore，Doze，andWheezywillputuphere;butI

havereasontobelievethatthismanhasbeensubornedbythe，proprietoroftheOriginalPig，whichistheoppositionhotel。

Amidstsuchconflictingtestimonyitisdifficulttoarriveatthe，realtruth;butyoumaydependuponreceivingauthenticinformation，uponthispointthemomentthefactisascertained。Theexcitement，stillcontinues。Aboyfellthroughthewindowofthepastrycook’s，shopatthecorneroftheHigh-streetabouthalfanhourago，which，hasoccasionedmuchconfusion。Thegeneralimpressionis，thatit，wasanaccident。Prayheavenitmayproveso！’

’TUESDAY，NOON。

’Atanearlyhourthismorningthebellsofallthechurchesstruck，seveno’clock;theeffectofwhich，inthepresentlivelystateof，thetown，wasextremelysingular。WhileIwasatbreakfast，a，yellowgig，drawnbyadarkgreyhorse，withapatchofwhiteover，hisrighteyelid，proceededatarapidpaceinthedirectionofthe，OriginalPigstables;itiscurrentlyreportedthatthisgentleman，hasarrivedhereforthepurposeofattendingtheassociation，and，fromwhatIhaveheard，Iconsideritextremelyprobable，although，nothingdecisiveisyetknownregardinghim。Youmayconceivethe，anxietywithwhichwearealllookingforwardtothearrivalofthe，fouro’clockcoachthisafternoon。

’Notwithstandingtheexcitedstateofthepopulace，nooutragehas，yetbeencommitted，owingtotheadmirabledisciplineand，discretionofthepolice，whoarenowheretobeseen。Abarrel-

organisplayingoppositemywindow，andgroupsofpeople，offering，fishandvegetablesforsale，paradethestreets。Withthese，exceptionseverythingisquiet，andItrustwillcontinueso。’

’FIVEO’CLOCK。

’Itisnowascertained，beyondalldoubt，thatProfessorsSnore，Doze，andWheezywillNOTrepairtothePigandTinder-box，but，haveactuallyengagedapartmentsattheOriginalPig。This，intelligenceisEXCLUSIVE;andIleaveyouandyourreaderstodraw，theirowninferencesfromit。WhyProfessorWheezy，ofallpeople，intheworld，shouldrepairtotheOriginalPiginpreferenceto，thePigandTinder-box，itisnoteasytoconceive。Theprofessor，isamanwhoshouldbeaboveallsuchpettyfeelings。Somepeople，hereopenlyimputetreachery，andadistinctbreachoffaithto，ProfessorsSnoreandDoze;whileothers，again，aredisposedto，acquitthemofanyculpabilityinthetransaction，andtoinsinuate，thattheblamerestssolelywithProfessorWheezy。IownthatI

inclinetothelatteropinion;andalthoughitgivesmegreatpain，tospeakintermsofcensureordisapprobationofamanofsuch，transcendentgeniusandacquirements，stillIamboundtosaythat，ifmysuspicionsbewellfounded，andifallthereportswhichhave，reachedmyearsbetrue，Ireallydonotwellknowwhattomakeof，thematter。

’Mr。Slug，socelebratedforhisstatisticalresearches，arrived，thisafternoonbythefouro’clockstage。Hiscomplexionisadark，purple，andhehasahabitofsighingconstantly。Helooked，extremelywell，andappearedinhighhealthandspirits。Mr。

Woodensconcealsocamedowninthesameconveyance。The，distinguishedgentlemanwasfastasleeponhisarrival，andIam，informedbytheguardthathehadbeensothewholeway。Hewas，nodoubt，preparingforhisapproachingfatigues;butwhatgigantic，visionsmustthosebethatflitthroughthebrainofsuchaman，whenhisbodyisinastateoftorpidity！

’Theinfluxofvisitorsincreaseseverymoment。Iamtold(Iknow，nothowtruly)thattwopost-chaiseshavearrivedattheOriginal，Pigwithinthelasthalf-hour，andImyselfobservedawheelbarrow，containingthreecarpetbagsandabundle，enteringtheyardofthe，PigandTinder-boxnolongeragothanfiveminutessince。The，peoplearestillquietlypursuingtheirordinaryoccupations;but，thereisawildnessintheireyes，andanunwontedrigidityinthe，musclesoftheircountenances，whichshowstotheobservant，spectatorthattheirexpectationsarestrainedtotheveryutmost，pitch。Ifear，unlesssomeveryextraordinaryarrivalstakeplace，to-night，thatconsequencesmayarisefromthispopularferment，whicheverymanofsenseandfeelingwoulddeplore。’

’TWENTYMINUTESPASTSIX。

’Ihavejustheardthattheboywhofellthroughthepastrycook’s，windowlastnighthasdiedofthefright。Hewassuddenlycalled，upontopaythreeandsixpenceforthedamagedone，andhis，constitution，itseems，wasnotstrongenoughtobearupagainst，theshock。Theinquest，itissaid，willbeheldto-morrow。’

’THREE-QUARTERSPARTSEVEN。

’ProfessorsMuffandNogohavejustdrivenuptothehoteldoor;

theyatonceordereddinnerwithgreatcondescension。Weareall，verymuchdelightedwiththeurbanityoftheirmanners，andthe，easewithwhichtheyadaptthemselvestotheformsandceremonies，ofordinarylife。Immediatelyontheirarrivaltheysentforthe，headwaiter，andprivatelyrequestedhimtopurchasealivedog，-

ascheapaoneashecouldmeetwith，-andtosendhimupafter，dinner，withapie-board，aknifeandfork，andacleanplate。It，isconjecturedthatsomeexperimentswillbetrieduponthedogto-

night;ifanyparticularsshouldtranspire，Iwillforwardthemby，express。’

’HALF-PASTEIGHT。

’Theanimalhasbeenprocured。Heisapug-dog，ofrather，intelligentappearance，ingoodcondition，andwithveryshort，legs。Hehasbeentiedtoacurtain-peginadarkroom，andis，howlingdreadfully。’

’TENMINUTESTONINE。

’Thedoghasjustbeenrungfor。Withaninstinctwhichwould，appearalmosttheresultofreason，thesagaciousanimalseizedthe，waiterbythecalfofthelegwhenheapproachedtotakehim，and，madeadesperate，thoughineffectualresistance。Ihavenotbeen，abletoprocureadmissiontotheapartmentoccupiedbythe，scientificgentlemen;but，judgingfromthesoundswhichreachedmy，earswhenIstooduponthelanding-placeoutsidethedoor，just，now，Ishouldbedisposedtosaythatthedoghadretreated，growlingbeneathsomearticleoffurniture，andwaskeepingthe，professorsatbay。Thisconjectureisconfirmedbythetestimony，oftheostler，who，afterpeepingthroughthekeyhole，assuresme，thathedistinctlysawProfessorNogoonhisknees，holdingfortha，smallbottleofprussicacid，towhichtheanimal，whowascrouched，beneathanarm-chair，obstinatelydeclinedtosmell。Youcannot，imaginethefeverishstateofirritationwearein，lestthe，interestsofscienceshouldbesacrificedtotheprejudicesofa，brutecreature，whoisnotendowedwithsufficientsensetoforesee，theincalculablebenefitswhichthewholehumanracemayderive，fromsoveryslightaconcessiononhispart。’

’NINEO’CLOCK。

’Thedog’stailandearshavebeensentdown-stairstobewashed;

fromwhichcircumstanceweinferthattheanimalisnomore。His，forelegshavebeendeliveredtothebootstobebrushed，which，strengthensthesupposition。’

’HALFAFTERTEN。

’Myfeelingsaresooverpoweredbywhathastakenplaceinthe，courseofthelasthourandahalf，thatIhavescarcelystrength，todetailtherapidsuccessionofeventswhichhavequite，bewilderedallthosewhoarecognizantoftheiroccurrence。It，appearsthatthepug-dogmentionedinmylastwassurreptitiously，obtained，-stolen，infact，-bysomepersonattachedtothe，stabledepartment，fromanunmarriedladyresidentinthistown。

Franticondiscoveringthelossofherfavourite，theladyrushed，distractedlyintothestreet，callinginthemostheart-rendingand，patheticmanneruponthepassengerstorestoreher，herAugustus，-

forsothedeceasedwasnamed，inaffectionateremembranceofa，formerloverofhismistress，towhomheboreastrikingpersonal，resemblance，whichrendersthecircumstancesadditionally，affecting。Iamnotyetinaconditiontoinformyouwhat，circumstanceinducedthebereavedladytodirectherstepstothe，hotelwhichhadwitnessedthelaststrugglesofherPROTEGE。Ican，onlystatethatshearrivedthere，attheveryinstantwhenhis，detachedmemberswerepassingthroughthepassageonasmalltray。

Hershrieksstillreverberateinmyears！，Igrievetosaythatthe，expressivefeaturesofProfessorMuffweremuchscratchedand，laceratedbytheinjuredlady;andthatProfessorNogo，besides，sustainingseveralseverebites，haslostsomehandfulsofhair，fromthesamecause。Itmustbesomeconsolationtothese，gentlementoknowthattheirardentattachmenttoscientific，pursuitshasaloneoccasionedtheseunpleasantconsequences;for，whichthesympathyofagratefulcountrywillsufficientlyreward，them。TheunfortunateladyremainsatthePigandTinder-box，and，uptothistimeisreportedinaveryprecariousstate。

’Ineedscarcelytellyouthatthisunlooked-forcatastrophehas，castadampandgloomuponusinthemidstofourexhilaration;

naturalinanycase，butgreatlyenhancedinthis，bytheamiable，qualitiesofthedeceasedanimal，whoappearstohavebeenmuchand，deservedlyrespectedbythewholeofhisacquaintance。’

’TWELVEO’CLOCK。

’Itakethelastopportunitybeforesealingmyparceltoinformyou，thattheboywhofellthroughthepastrycook’swindowisnotdead，aswasuniversallybelieved，butaliveandwell。Thereport，appearstohavehaditsorigininhismysteriousdisappearance。He，wasfoundhalfanhoursinceonthepremisesofasweet-stuff，maker，wherearafflehadbeenannouncedforasecond-handseal-

skincapandatambourine;andwhere-asufficientnumberof，membersnothavingbeenobtainedatfirst-hehadpatientlywaited，untilthelistwascompleted。Thisfortunatediscoveryhasinsome，degreerestoredourgaietyandcheerfulness。Itisproposedtoget，upasubscriptionforhimwithoutdelay。

’Everybodyisnervouslyanxioustoseewhatto-morrowwillbring，forth。Ifanyoneshouldarriveinthecourseofthenight，Ihave，leftstrictdirectionstobecalledimmediately。Ishouldhavesat，up，indeed，buttheagitatingeventsofthisdayhavebeentoomuch，forme。

’NonewsyetofeitheroftheProfessorsSnore，Doze，orWheezy。

Itisverystrange！’

’WEDNESDAYAFTERNOON。

’Allisnowover;and，upononepointatleast，Iamatlength，enabledtosetthemindsofyourreadersatrest。Thethree，professorsarrivedattenminutesaftertwoo’clock，and，instead，oftakinguptheirquartersattheOriginalPig，asitwas，universallyunderstoodinthecourseofyesterdaythattheywould，assuredlyhavedone，drovestraighttothePigandTinder-box，wheretheythrewoffthemaskatonce，andopenlyannouncedtheir，intentionofremaining。ProfessorWheezymayreconcilethisvery，extraordinaryconductwithHISnotionsoffairandequitable，dealing，butIwouldrecommendProfessorWheezytobecautioushow，hepresumestoofaruponhiswell-earnedreputation。Howsucha，manasProfessorSnore，or，whichisstillmoreextraordinary，such，anindividualasProfessorDoze，canquietlyallowhimselftobe，mixedupwithsuchproceedingsasthese，youwillnaturally，inquire。Uponthishead，rumourissilent;Ihavemyspeculations，butforbeartogiveutterancetothemjustnow。’

’FOURO’CLOCK。

’Thetownisfillingfast;eighteenpencehasbeenofferedforabed，andrefused。Severalgentlemenwereunderthenecessitylastnight，ofsleepinginthebrickfields，andonthestepsofdoors，for，whichtheyweretakenbeforethemagistratesinabodythis，morning，andcommittedtoprisonasvagrantsforvariousterms。

OneofthesepersonsIunderstandtobeahighly-respectable，tinker，ofgreatpracticalskill，whohadforwardedapapertothe，PresidentofSectionD。MechanicalScience，ontheconstructionof，pipkinswithcopperbottomsandsafety-values，ofwhichreport，speakshighly。Theincarcerationofthisgentlemanisgreatlyto，beregretted，ashisabsencewillprecludeanydiscussiononthe，subject。

’Thebillsarebeingtakendowninalldirections，andlodgingsare，beingsecuredonalmostanyterms。Ihaveheardoffifteen，shillingsaweekfortworooms，exclusiveofcoalsandattendance，butIcanscarcelybelieveit。Theexcitementisdreadful。Iwas，informedthismorningthatthecivilauthorities，apprehensiveof，someoutbreakofpopularfeeling，hadcommandedarecruiting，sergeantandtwocorporalstobeunderarms;andthat，withthe，viewofnotirritatingthepeopleunnecessarilybytheirpresence，theyhadbeenrequestedtotakeuptheirpositionbeforedaybreak，inaturnpike，distantaboutaquarterofamilefromthetown。

Thevigourandpromptnessofthesemeasurescannotbetoohighly，extolled。

’Intelligencehasjustbeenbroughtme，thatanelderlyfemale，in，astateofinebriety，hasdeclaredintheopenstreetherintention，to“do“forMr。Slug。Somestatisticalreturnscompiledbythat，gentleman，relativetotheconsumptionofrawspirituousliquorsin，thisplace，aresupposedtobethecauseofthewretch’sanimosity。

Itisaddedthatthisdeclarationwasloudlycheeredbyacrowdof，personswhohadassembledonthespot;andthatonemanhadthe，boldnesstodesignateMr。Slugaloudbytheopprobriousepithetof，“Stick-in-the-mud！”Itisearnestlytobehopedthatnow，whenthe，momenthasarrivedfortheirinterference，themagistrateswillnot，shrinkfromtheexerciseofthatpowerwhichisvestedinthemby，theconstitutionofourcommoncountry。’

’HALF-PASTTEN。

’Thedisturbance，Iamhappytoinformyou，hasbeencompletely，quelled，andtheringleadertakenintocustody。Shehadapailof，coldwaterthrownoverher，previoustobeinglockedup，and，expressesgreatcontritionanduneasiness。Weareallinafever，ofanticipationaboutto-morrow;but，nowthatwearewithinafew，hoursofthemeetingoftheassociation，andatlastenjoythe，proudconsciousnessofhavingitsillustriousmembersamongstus，I

trustandhopeeverythingmaygooffpeaceably。Ishallsendyoua，fullreportofto-morrow’sproceedingsbythenightcoach。’

’ELEVENO’CLOCK。

’IopenmylettertosaythatnothingwhateverhasoccurredsinceI

foldeditup。’

’THURSDAY。

’Thesunrosethismorningattheusualhour。Ididnotobserve，anythingparticularintheaspectofthegloriousplanet，except，thatheappearedtome(itmighthavebeenadelusionofmy，heightenedfancy)toshinewithmorethancommonbrilliancy，andto，shedarefulgentlustreuponthetown，suchasIhadneverobserved，before。Thisisthemoreextraordinary，astheskywasperfectly，cloudless，andtheatmospherepeculiarlyfine。Athalf-pastnine，o’clockthegeneralcommitteeassembled，withthelastyear’s，presidentinthechair。Thereportofthecouncilwasread;and，onepassage，whichstatedthatthecouncilhadcorrespondedwithno，lessthanthreethousandfivehundredandseventy-onepersons，(all，ofwhompaidtheirownpostage，)onnofewerthanseventhousand，twohundredandforty-threetopics，wasreceivedwithadegreeof，enthusiasmwhichnoeffortscouldsuppress。Thevariouscommittees，andsectionshavingbeenappointed，andthemoreformalbusiness，transacted，thegreatproceedingsofthemeetingcommencedat，eleveno’clockprecisely。Ihadthehappinessofoccupyingamost，eligiblepositionatthattime，in，’SECTIONA-ZOOLOGYANDBOTANY。

GREATROOM，PIGANDTINDER-BOX。

PRESIDENT-ProfessorSnore。VICE-PRESIDENTS-ProfessorsDozeand，Wheezy。

’Thesceneatthismomentwasparticularlystriking。Thesun，streamedthroughthewindowsoftheapartments，andtintedthe，wholescenewithitsbrilliantrays，bringingoutinstrongrelief，thenoblevisagesoftheprofessorsandscientificgentlemen，who，somewithbaldheads，somewithredheads，somewithbrownheads，somewithgreyheads，somewithblackheads，somewithblockheads，presentedaCOUPD’OEILwhichnoeye-witnesswillreadilyforget。

Infrontofthesegentlemenwerepapersandinkstands;andround，theroom，onelevatedbenchesextendingasfarastheformscould，reach，wereassembledabrilliantconcourseofthoselovelyand，elegantwomenforwhichMudfogisjustlyacknowledgedtobewithout，arivalinthewholeworld。Thecontrastbetweentheirfairfaces，andthedarkcoatsandtrousersofthescientificgentlemenIshall，neverceasetorememberwhileMemoryholdsherseat。

’Timehavingbeenallowedforaslightconfusion，occasionedbythe，fallingdownofthegreaterpartoftheplatforms，tosubside，the，presidentcalledononeofthesecretariestoreadacommunication，entitled，“Someremarksontheindustriousfleas，with，considerationsontheimportanceofestablishinginfant-schools，amongthatnumerousclassofsociety;ofdirectingtheirindustry，tousefulandpracticalends;andofapplyingthesurplusfruits，thereof，towardsprovidingforthemacomfortableandrespectable，maintenanceintheiroldage。”

’Theauthorstated，that，havinglongturnedhisattentiontothe，moralandsocialconditionoftheseinterestinganimals，hehad，beeninducedtovisitanexhibitioninRegent-street，London，commonlyknownbythedesignationof“TheIndustriousFleas。”，He，hadthereseenmanyfleas，occupiedcertainlyinvariouspursuits，andavocations，butoccupied，hewasboundtoadd，inamanner，whichnomanofwell-regulatedmindcouldfailtoregardwith，sorrowandregret。Oneflea，reducedtothelevelofabeastof，burden，wasdrawingaboutaminiaturegig，containinga，particularlysmalleffigyofHisGracetheDukeofWellington;

whileanotherwasstaggeringbeneaththeweightofagoldenmodel，ofhisgreatadversaryNapoleonBonaparte。Some，broughtupas，mountebanksandballet-dancers，wereperformingafigure-dance(he，regrettedtoobserve，that，ofthefleassoemployed，severalwere，females);otherswereintraining，inasmallcard-boardbox，for，pedestrians，-meresportingcharacters-andtwowereactually，engagedinthecold-bloodedandbarbarousoccupationofduelling;a，pursuitfromwhichhumanityrecoiledwithhorroranddisgust。He，suggestedthatmeasuresshouldbeimmediatelytakentoemploythe，labourofthesefleasaspartandparceloftheproductivepowerof，thecountry，whichmighteasilybedonebytheestablishmentamong，themofinfantschoolsandhousesofindustry，inwhichasystemof，virtuouseducation，baseduponsoundprinciples，shouldbe，observed，andmoralpreceptsstrictlyinculcated。Heproposedthat，everyfleawhopresumedtoexhibit，forhire，music，ordancing，or，anyspeciesoftheatricalentertainment，withoutalicence，should，beconsideredavagabond，andtreatedaccordingly;inwhichrespect，heonlyplacedhimuponalevelwiththerestofmankind。Hewould，furthersuggestthattheirlabourshouldbeplacedunderthe，controlandregulationofthestate，whoshouldsetapartfromthe，profits，afundforthesupportofsuperannuatedordisabledfleas，theirwidowsandorphans。Withthisview，heproposedthatliberal，premiumsshouldbeofferedforthethreebestdesignsforageneral，almshouse;fromwhich-asinsectarchitecturewaswellknowntobe，inaveryadvancedandperfectstate-wemightpossiblyderive，manyvaluablehintsfortheimprovementofourmetropolitan，universities，nationalgalleries，andotherpublicedifices。

’THEPRESIDENTwishedtobeinformedhowtheingeniousgentleman，proposedtoopenacommunicationwithfleasgenerally，inthefirst，instance，sothattheymightbethoroughlyimbuedwithasenseof，theadvantagestheymustnecessarilyderivefromchangingtheir，modeoflife，andapplyingthemselvestohonestlabour。This，appearedtohim，theonlydifficulty。

’THEAUTHORsubmittedthatthisdifficultywaseasilyovercome，or，ratherthattherewasnodifficultyatallinthecase。Obviously，thecoursetobepursued，ifHerMajesty’sgovernmentcouldbe，prevailedupontotakeuptheplan，wouldbe，tosecureata，remunerativesalarytheindividualtowhomhehadalludedas，presidingovertheexhibitioninRegent-streetattheperiodofhis，visit。Thatgentlemanwouldatoncebeabletoputhimselfin，communicationwiththemassofthefleas，andtoinstructthemin，pursuanceofsomegeneralplanofeducation，tobesanctionedby，Parliament，untilsuchtimeasthemoreintelligentamongthemwere，advancedenoughtoofficiateasteacherstotherest。

’ThePresidentandseveralmembersofthesectionhighly，complimentedtheauthorofthepaperlastread，onhismost，ingeniousandimportanttreatise。Itwasdeterminedthatthe，subjectshouldberecommendedtotheimmediateconsiderationofthe，council。

’MR。WIGSBYproducedacauliflowersomewhatlargerthanachaise-

umbrella，whichhadbeenraisedbynootherartificialmeansthan，thesimpleapplicationofhighlycarbonatedsoda-waterasmanure。

Heexplainedthatbyscoopingoutthehead，whichwouldafforda，newanddeliciousspeciesofnourishmentforthepoor，aparachute，inprinciplesomethingsimilartothatconstructedbyM。Garnerin，wasatonceobtained;thestalkofcoursebeingkeptdownwards。He，addedthathewasperfectlywillingtomakeadescentfromaheight，ofnotlessthanthreemilesandaquarter;andhadinfactalready，proposedthesametotheproprietorsofVauxhallGardens，whoin，thehandsomestmanneratonceconsentedtohiswishes，and，appointedanearlydaynextsummerfortheundertaking;merely，stipulatingthattherimofthecauliflowershouldbepreviously，brokeninthreeorfourplacestoensurethesafetyofthedescent。

’THEPRESIDENTcongratulatedthepublicontheGRANDGALAinstore，forthem，andwarmlyeulogisedtheproprietorsoftheestablishment，alludedto，fortheirloveofscience，andregardforthesafetyof，humanlife，bothofwhichdidthemthehighesthonour。

’AMemberwishedtoknowhowmanythousandadditionallampsthe，royalpropertywouldbeilluminatedwith，onthenightafterthe，descent。

’MR。WIGSBYrepliedthatthepointwasnotyetfinallydecided;but，hebelieveditwasproposed，overandabovetheordinary，illuminations，toexhibitinvariousdeviceseightmillionsanda-

halfofadditionallamps。

’TheMemberexpressedhimselfmuchgratifiedwiththis，announcement。

’MR。BLUNDERUMdelightedthesectionwithamostinterestingand，valuablepaper“onthelastmomentsofthelearnedpig，“which，producedaverystrongimpressionontheassembly，theaccount，beingcompiledfromthepersonalrecollectionsofhisfavourite，attendant。Theaccountstatedinthemostemphatictermsthatthe，animal’snamewasnotToby，butSolomon;anddistinctlyprovedthat，hecouldhavenonearrelativesintheprofession，asmany，designingpersonshadfalselystated，inasmuchashisfather，mother，brothersandsisters，hadallfallenvictimstothebutcher，atdifferenttimes。Anuncleofhisindeed，hadwithverygreat，labourbeentracedtoastyinSomersTown;butashewasinavery，infirmstateatthetime，beingafflictedwithmeasles，andshortly，afterwardsdisappeared，thereappearedtoomuchreasonto，conjecturethathehadbeenconvertedintosausages。Thedisorder，ofthelearnedpigwasoriginallyaseverecold，which，being，aggravatedbyexcessivetroughindulgence，finallysettleduponthe，lungs，andterminatedinageneraldecayoftheconstitution。A

melancholyinstanceofapresentimententertainedbytheanimalof，hisapproachingdissolution，wasrecorded。Aftergratifyinga，numerousandfashionablecompanywithhisperformances，inwhichno，fallingoffwhateverwasvisible，hefixedhiseyesonthe，biographer，and，turningtothewatchwhichlayonthefloor，and，onwhichhewasaccustomedtopointoutthehour，deliberately，passedhissnouttwiceroundthedial。Inpreciselyfour-and-

twentyhoursfromthattimehehadceasedtoexist！

’PROFESSORWHEEZYinquiredwhether，previoustohisdemise，the，animalhadexpressed，bysignsorotherwise，anywishesregarding，thedisposalofhislittleproperty。

’MR。BLUNDERUMreplied，that，whenthebiographertookupthepack，ofcardsattheconclusionoftheperformance，theanimalgrunted，severaltimesinasignificantmanner，andnoddinghisheadashe，wasaccustomedtodo，whengratified。Fromthesegesturesitwas，understoodthathewishedtheattendanttokeepthecards，whichhe，hadeversincedone。Hehadnotexpressedanywishrelativetohis，watch，whichhadaccordinglybeenpawnedbythesameindividual。

’THEPRESIDENTwishedtoknowwhetheranyMemberofthesectionhad，everseenorconversedwiththepig-facedlady，whowasreportedto，havewornablackvelvetmask，andtohavetakenhermealsfroma，goldentrough。

’AftersomehesitationaMemberrepliedthatthepig-facedladywas，hismother-in-law，andthathetrustedthePresidentwouldnot，violatethesanctityofprivatelife。

’THEPRESIDENTbeggedpardon。Hehadconsideredthepig-facedlady，apubliccharacter。Wouldthehonourablememberobjecttostate，withaviewtotheadvancementofscience，whethershewasinany，wayconnectedwiththelearnedpig？

’TheMemberrepliedinthesamelowtone，that，asthequestion，appearedtoinvolveasuspicionthatthelearnedpigmightbehis，half-brother，hemustdeclineansweringit。

’SECTIONB-ANATOMYANDMEDICINE。

COACH-HOUSE，PIGANDTINDER-BOX。

PRESIDENT-Dr。Toorell。VICE-PRESIDENTS-ProfessorsMuffand，Nogo。

DR。KUTANKUMAGEN(ofMoscow)readtothesectionareportofacase，whichhadoccurredwithinhisownpractice，strikinglyillustrative，ofthepowerofmedicine，asexemplifiedinhissuccessful，treatmentofavirulentdisorder。Hehadbeencalledintovisit，thepatientonthe1stofApril，1837。Hewasthenlabouringunder，symptomspeculiarlyalarmingtoanymedicalman。Hisframewas，stoutandmuscular，hisstepfirmandelastic，hischeeksplumpand，red，hisvoiceloud，hisappetitegood，hispulsefullandround。

HewasintheconstanthabitofeatingthreemealsPERDIEM，andof，drinkingatleastonebottleofwine，andoneglassofspirituous，liquorsdilutedwithwater，inthecourseofthefour-and-twenty，hours。Helaughedconstantly，andinsoheartyamannerthatit，wasterribletohearhim。Bydintofpowerfulmedicine，lowdiet，andbleeding，thesymptomsinthecourseofthreedaysperceptibly，decreased。Arigidperseveranceinthesamecourseoftreatment，foronlyoneweek，accompaniedwithsmalldosesofwater-gruel，weakbroth，andbarley-water，ledtotheirentiredisappearance。

Inthecourseofamonthhewassufficientlyrecoveredtobe，carrieddown-stairsbytwonurses，andtoenjoyanairingina，closecarriage，supportedbysoftpillows。Atthepresentmoment，hewasrestoredsofarastowalkabout，withtheslightassistance，ofacrutchandaboy。Itwouldperhapsbegratifyingtothe，sectiontolearnthatheatelittle，dranklittle，sleptlittle，andwasneverheardtolaughbyanyaccidentwhatever。

’DR。W。R。FEE，incomplimentingthehonourablememberuponthe，triumphantcurehehadeffected，beggedtoaskwhetherthepatient，stillbledfreely？

’DR。KUTANKUMAGENrepliedintheaffirmative。

’DR。W。R。FEE-Andyoufoundthathebledfreelyduringthe，wholecourseofthedisorder？

’DR。KUTANKUMAGEN-Ohdear，yes;mostfreely。

’DR。NEESHAWTSsupposed，thatifthepatienthadnotsubmittedto，bebledwithgreatreadinessandperseverance，soextraordinarya，curecouldnever，infact，havebeenaccomplished。Dr。

Kutankumagenrejoined，certainlynot。

’MR。KNIGHTBELL(M。R。C。S。)exhibitedawaxpreparationofthe，interiorofagentlemanwhoinearlylifehadinadvertently，swallowedadoor-key。Itwasacuriousfactthatamedicalstudent，ofdissipatedhabits，beingpresentatthePOSTMORTEMexamination，foundmeanstoescapeunobservedfromtheroom，withthatportion，ofthecoatsofthestomachuponwhichanexactmodelofthe，instrumentwasdistinctlyimpressed，withwhichhehastenedtoa，locksmithofdoubtfulcharacter，whomadeanewkeyfromthe，patternsoshowntohim。Withthiskeythemedicalstudententered，thehouseofthedeceasedgentleman，andcommittedaburglarytoa，largeamount，forwhichhewassubsequentlytriedandexecuted。

’THEPRESIDENTwishedtoknowwhatbecameoftheoriginalkeyafter，thelapseofyears。Mr。KnightBellrepliedthatthegentlemanwas，alwaysmuchaccustomedtopunch，anditwassupposedtheacidhad，graduallydevouredit。

’DR。NEESHAWTSandseveralofthememberswereofopinionthatthe，keymusthavelainverycoldandheavyuponthegentleman’s，stomach。

’MR。KNIGHTBELLbelieveditdidatfirst。Itwasworthyof，remark，perhaps，thatforsomeyearsthegentlemanwastroubled，withanight-mare，undertheinfluenceofwhichhealwaysimagined，himselfawine-cellardoor。

’PROFESSORMUFFrelatedaveryextraordinaryandconvincingproof，ofthewonderfulefficacyofthesystemofinfinitesimaldoses，whichthesectionweredoubtlessawarewasbaseduponthetheory，thattheveryminutestamountofanygivendrug，properlydispersed，throughthehumanframe，wouldbeproductiveofpreciselythesame，resultasaverylargedoseadministeredintheusualmanner。

Thus，thefortiethpartofagrainofcalomelwassupposedtobe，equaltoafive-graincalomelpill，andsooninproportion，throughoutthewholerangeofmedicine。Hehadtriedthe，experimentinacuriousmanneruponapublicanwhohadbeenbrought，intothehospitalwithabrokenhead，andwascureduponthe，infinitesimalsystemintheincrediblyshortspaceofthreemonths。

Thismanwasaharddrinker。He(ProfessorMuff)haddispersed，threedropsofrumthroughabucketofwater，andrequestedtheman，todrinkthewhole。Whatwastheresult？，Beforehehaddrunka，quart，hewasinastateofbeastlyintoxication;andfiveother，menweremadedeaddrunkwiththeremainder。

’THEPRESIDENTwishedtoknowwhetheraninfinitesimaldoseof，soda-waterwouldhaverecoveredthem？，ProfessorMuffrepliedthat，thetwenty-fifthpartofateaspoonful，properlyadministeredto，eachpatient，wouldhavesoberedhimimmediately。ThePresident，remarkedthatthiswasamostimportantdiscovery，andhehopedthe，LordMayorandCourtofAldermenwouldpatronizeitimmediately。

’AMemberbeggedtobeinformedwhetheritwouldbepossibleto，administer-say，thetwentiethpartofagrainofbreadandcheese，toallgrown-uppaupers，andthefortiethparttochildren，with，thesamesatisfyingeffectastheirpresentallowance。

’PROFESSORMUFFwaswillingtostakehisprofessionalreputationon，theperfectadequacyofsuchaquantityoffoodtothesupportof，humanlife-inworkhouses;theadditionofthefifteenthpartofa，grainofpuddingtwiceaweekwouldrenderitahighdiet。

’PROFESSORNOGOcalledtheattentionofthesectiontoavery，extraordinarycaseofanimalmagnetism。Aprivatewatchman，being，merelylookedatbytheoperatorfromtheoppositesideofawide，street，wasatonceobservedtobeinaverydrowsyandlanguid，state。Hewasfollowedtohisbox，andbeingonceslightlyrubbed，onthepalmsofthehands，fellintoasoundsleep，inwhichhe，continuedwithoutintermissionfortenhours。

’SECTIONC-STATISTICS。