第11章
CHAPTERX
CLARA
WHENhewastwenty-threeyearsold，Paulsentinalandscapeto，thewinterexhibitionatNottinghamCastle。MissJordanhadtaken，agooddealofinterestinhim，andinvitedhimtoherhouse，wherehemetotherartists。Hewasbeginningtogrowambitious。
Onemorningthepostmancamejustashewaswashingin，thescullery。Suddenlyheheardawildnoisefromhismother。
Rushingintothekitchen，hefoundherstandingonthehearthrug，wildlywavingaletterandcrying“Hurrah！”asifshehadgonemad。
Hewasshockedandfrightened。
“Why，mother！”heexclaimed。
Sheflewtohim，flungherarmsroundhimforamoment，thenwavedtheletter，crying：
“Hurrah，myboy！，Iknewweshoulddoit！”
Hewasafraidofher——thesmall，severewomanwithgrayinghair，suddenlyburstingoutinsuchfrenzy。Thepostmancamerunningback，afraidsomethinghadhappened。Theysawhistippedcapoverthe，shortcurtains。Mrs。Morelrushedtothedoor。
“Hispicture’sgotfirstprize，Fred，“shecried，“andissold，fortwentyguineas。”
“Myword，that’ssomethinglike！”saidtheyoungpostman，whomtheyhadknownallhislife。
“AndMajorMoretonhasboughtit！”shecried。
“Itlookslikemeanin’something，thatdoes，Mrs。Morel，“
saidthepostman，hisblueeyesbright。Hewasgladtohavebrought，suchaluckyletter。Mrs。Morelwentindoorsandsatdown，trembling。
Paulwasafraidlestshemighthavemisreadtheletter，andmightbe，disappointedafterall。Hescrutiniseditonce，twice。Yes，hebecame，convinceditwastrue。Thenhesatdown，hisheartbeatingwithjoy。
“Mother！”heexclaimed。
“Didn’tISAYweshoulddoit！”shesaid，pretendingshe，wasnotcrying。
Hetookthekettleoffthefireandmashedthetea。
“Youdidn’tthink，mother——“hebegantentatively。
“No，myson——notsomuch——butIexpectedagooddeal。”
“Butnotsomuch，“hesaid。
“No——no——butIknewweshoulddoit。”
Andthensherecoveredhercomposure，apparentlyatleast。
Hesatwithhisshirtturnedback，showinghisyoungthroatalmost，likeagirl’s，andthetowelinhishand，hishairstickingupwet。
“Twentyguineas，mother！，That’sjustwhatyouwantedtobuy，Arthurout。Nowyouneedn’tborrowany。It’lljustdo。”
“Indeed，Ishan’ttakeitall，“shesaid。
“Butwhy？”
“BecauseIshan’t。”
“Well——youhavetwelvepounds，I’llhavenine。”
Theycavilledaboutsharingthetwentyguineas。Shewanted，totakeonlythefivepoundssheneeded。Hewouldnothearofit。
Sotheygotoverthestressofemotionbyquarrelling。
Morelcamehomeatnightfromthepit，saying：
“TheytellmePaul’sgotfirstprizeforhispicture，andsold，ittoLordHenryBentleyforfiftypound。”
“Oh，whatstoriespeopledotell！”shecried。
“Ha！”heanswered。”IsaidIworsureitworalie。
Buttheysaidtha’dtoldFredHodgkisson。”
“AsifIwouldtellhimsuchstuff！”
“Ha！”assentedtheminer。
Buthewasdisappointednevertheless。
“It’struehehasgotthefirstprize，“saidMrs。Morel。
Theminersatheavilyinhischair。
“Hashe，beguy！”heexclaimed。
Hestaredacrosstheroomfixedly。
“Butasforfiftypounds——suchnonsense！”Shewassilentawhile。
“MajorMoretonboughtitfortwentyguineas，that’strue。”
“Twentyguineas！，Thaniversays！”exclaimedMorel。
“Yes，anditwasworthit。”
“Ay！”hesaid。”Idon’tmisdoubtit。Buttwentyguineas，forabitofapaintin’asheknockedoffinanhourortwo！”
Hewassilentwithconceitofhisson。Mrs。Morelsniffed，asifitwerenothing。
“Andwhendoeshehandleth’money？”askedthecollier。
“ThatIcouldn’ttellyou。Whenthepictureissenthome，Isuppose。”
Therewassilence。Morelstaredatthesugar-basininstead，ofeatinghisdinner。Hisblackarm，withthehandallgnarled，withworklayonthetable。Hiswifepretendednottoseehimrub，thebackofhishandacrosshiseyes，northesmearinthecoal-dust，onhisblackface。
“Yes，an’thatotherlad’ud’adoneasmuchiftheyhadna，ha’killed’im，“hesaidquietly。
ThethoughtofWilliamwentthroughMrs。Morellikeacoldblade。
Itleftherfeelingshewastired，andwantedrest。
PaulwasinvitedtodinneratMr。Jordan’s。Afterwardshesaid：
“Mother，Iwantaneveningsuit。”
“Yes，Iwasafraidyouwould，“shesaid。Shewasglad。
Therewasamomentortwoofsilence。”There’sthatoneofWilliam’s，“
shecontinued，“thatIknowcostfourpoundsten，andwhichhe’donlywornthreetimes。”
“Shouldyoulikemetowearit，mother？”heasked。
“Yes。Ithinkitwouldfityou——atleastthecoat。Thetrousers，wouldwantshortening。”
Hewentupstairsandputonthecoatandvest。Comingdown，helookedstrangeinaflannelcollarandaflannelshirt-front，withaneveningcoatandvest。Itwasratherlarge。
“Thetailorcanmakeitright，“shesaid，smoothingherhand，overhisshoulder。”It’sbeautifulstuff。Inevercouldfind，inmyhearttoletyourfatherwearthetrousers，andveryglad，Iamnow。”
Andasshesmoothedherhandoverthesilkcollarshethought，ofhereldestson。Butthissonwaslivingenoughinsidetheclothes。
Shepassedherhanddownhisbacktofeelhim。Hewasaliveandhers。
Theotherwasdead。
Hewentouttodinnerseveraltimesinhiseveningsuitthathad，beenWilliam’s。Eachtimehismother’sheartwasfirmwithpride，andjoy。Hewasstartednow。Thestudssheandthechildrenhad，boughtforWilliamwereinhisshirt-front;heworeoneofWilliam’s，dressshirts。Buthehadanelegantfigure。Hisfacewasrough，butwarm-lookingandratherpleasing。Hedidnotlookparticularly，agentleman，butshethoughthelookedquiteaman。
Hetoldhereverythingthattookplace，everythingthatwassaid。
Itwasasifshehadbeenthere。Andhewasdyingtointroduceher，tothesenewfriendswhohaddinneratseven-thirtyintheevening。
“Goalongwithyou！”shesaid。”Whatdotheywanttoknow，mefor？”
“Theydo！”hecriedindignantly。”Iftheywanttoknowme——and，theysaytheydo——thentheywanttoknowyou，becauseyouarequite，ascleverasIam。”
“Goalongwithyou，child！“shelaughed。
Butshebegantospareherhands。They，too，werework-gnarlednow。
Theskinwasshinywithsomuchhotwater，theknucklesratherswollen。
Butshebegantobecarefultokeepthemoutofsoda。Sheregretted，whattheyhadbeen——sosmallandexquisite。AndwhenAnnieinsisted，onherhavingmorestylishblousestosuitherage，shesubmitted。
Sheevenwentsofarastoallowablackvelvetbowtobeplaced，onherhair。Thenshesniffedinhersarcasticmanner，andwas，sureshelookedasight。Butshelookedalady，Pauldeclared，asmuchasMrs。MajorMoreton，andfar，farnicer。Thefamily，wascomingon。OnlyMorelremainedunchanged，orrather，lapsedslowly。
Paulandhismothernowhadlongdiscussionsaboutlife。
Religionwasfadingintothebackground。Hehadshovelledaway，anthebeliefsthatwouldhamperhim，hadclearedtheground，andcomemoreorlesstothebedrockofbeliefthatoneshouldfeel，insideoneselfforrightandwrong，andshouldhavethepatienceto，graduallyrealiseone’sGod。Nowlifeinterestedhimmore。
“Youknow，“hesaidtohismother，“Idon’twanttobelong，tothewell-to-domiddleclass。Ilikemycommonpeoplebest。
Ibelongtothecommonpeople。”
“Butifanyoneelsesaidso，myson，wouldn’tyoubeinatear。
YOUknowyouconsideryourselfequaltoanygentleman。”
“Inmyself，“heanswered，“notinmyclassormyeducation，ormymanners。ButinmyselfIam。”
“Verywell，then。Thenwhytalkaboutthecommonpeople？”
“Because——thedifferencebetweenpeopleisn’tintheirclass，butinthemselves。Onlyfromthemiddleclassesonegetsideas，andfromthecommonpeople——lifeitself，warmth。Youfeeltheirhates，andloves。”
“It’sallverywell，myboy。But，then，whydon’tyougo，andtalktoyourfather’spals？”
“Butthey’reratherdifferent。”
“Notatall。They’rethecommonpeople。Afterall，whomdoyou，mixwithnow——amongthecommonpeople？，Thosethatexchangeideas，likethemiddleclasses。Therestdon’tinterestyou。”
“But——there’sthelife——“
“Idon’tbelievethere’sajotmorelifefromMiriamthanyou，couldgetfromanyeducatedgirl——sayMissMoreton。ItisYOU
whoaresnobbishaboutclass。”
ShefranklyWANTEDhimtoclimbintothemiddleclasses，athingnotverydifficult，sheknew。Andshewantedhimintheend，tomarryalady。
Nowshebegantocombathiminhisrestlessfretting。
HestillkeptuphisconnectionwithMiriam，couldneitherbreak，freenorgothewholelengthofengagement。Andthisindecision，seemedtobleedhimofhisenergy。Moreover，hismothersuspected，himofanunrecognisedleaningtowardsClara，and，sincethelatter，wasamarriedwoman，shewishedhewouldfallinlovewithone，ofthegirlsinabetterstationoflife。Buthewasstupid，andwouldrefusetoloveoreventoadmireagirlmuch，justbecause，shewashissocialsuperior。
“Myboy，“saidhismothertohim，“allyourcleverness，yourbreakingawayfromoldthings，andtakinglifeinyourownhands，doesn’tseemtobringyoumuchhappiness。”
“Whatishappiness！”hecried。”It’snothingtome！
HowAMItobehappy？”
Theplumpquestiondisturbedher。
“That’sforyoutojudge，mylad。Butifyoucouldmeet，someGOODwomanwhowouldMAKEyouhappy——andyoubegantothink，ofsettlingyourlife——whenyouhavethemeans——sothatyoucould，workwithoutallthisfretting——itwouldbemuchbetterforyou。”
Hefrowned。Hismothercaughthimontherawofhiswound，ofMiriam。Hepushedthetumbledhairoffhisforehead，hiseyes，fullofpainandfire。
“Youmeaneasy，mother，“hecried。”That’sawoman’swholedoctrine，forlife——easeofsoulandphysicalcomfort。AndIdodespiseit。”
“Oh，doyou！”repliedhismother。”Anddoyoucallyours，adivinediscontent？”
“Yes。Idon’tcareaboutitsdivinity。Butdamnyourhappiness！
Solongaslife’sfull，itdoesn’tmatterwhetherit’shappyornot。
I’mafraidyourhappinesswouldboreme。”
“Younevergiveitachance，“shesaid。Thensuddenlyall，herpassionofgriefoverhimbrokeout。”Butitdoesmatter！”
shecried。”AndyouOUGHTtobehappy，yououghttotrytobehappy，tolivetobehappy。HowcouldIbeartothinkyourlifewouldn’t，beahappyone！”
“Yourown’sbeenbadenough，mater，butithasn’tleftyou，somuchworseoffthanthefolkwho’vebeenhappier。Ireckon，you’vedonewell。AndIamthesame。Aren’tIwellenoughoff？”
“You’renot，myson。Battle——battle——andsuffer。It’sabout，allyoudo，asfarasIcansee。”
“Butwhynot，mydear？，Itellyouit’sthebest——“
“Itisn’t。AndoneOUGHTtobehappy，oneOUGHT。”
BythistimeMrs。Morelwastremblingviolently。Strugglesof，thiskindoftentookplacebetweenherandherson，whenshe，seemedtofightforhisverylifeagainsthisownwilltodie。
Hetookherinhisarms。Shewasillandpitiful。
“Nevermind，Little，“hemurmured。”Solongasyoudon’tfeel，life’spaltryandamiserablebusiness，therestdoesn’tmatter，happinessorunhappiness。”
Shepressedhimtoher。
“ButIwantyoutobehappy，“shesaidpathetically。
“Eh，mydear——sayratheryouwantmetolive。”
Mrs。Morelfeltasifherheartwouldbreakforhim。
Atthisratesheknewhewouldnotlive。Hehadthatpoignant，carelessnessabouthimself，hisownsuffering，hisownlife，whichisaformofslowsuicide。Italmostbrokeherheart。
WithallthepassionofherstrongnatureshehatedMiriamforhaving，inthissubtlewayunderminedhisjoy。Itdidnotmattertoher，thatMiriamcouldnothelpit。Miriamdidit，andshehatedher。
Shewishedsomuchhewouldfallinlovewithagirlequal，tobehismate——educatedandstrong。Buthewouldnotlookat，anybodyabovehiminstation。HeseemedtolikeMrs。Dawes。
Atanyratethatfeelingwaswholesome。Hismotherprayedandprayed，forhim，thathemightnotbewasted。Thatwasallherprayer——not，forhissoulorhisrighteousness，butthathemightnotbewasted。
Andwhileheslept，forhoursandhoursshethoughtandprayed，forhim。
HedriftedawayfromMiriamimperceptibly，withoutknowinghe，wasgoing。Arthuronlyleftthearmytobemarried。Thebabywas，bornsixmonthsafterhiswedding。Mrs。Morelgothimajobunder，thefirmagain，attwenty-oneshillingsaweek。Shefurnishedforhim，withthehelpofBeatrice’smother，alittlecottageoftworooms。
Hewascaughtnow。Itdidnotmatterhowhekickedandstruggled，hewasfast。Foratimehechafed，wasirritablewithhis，youngwife，wholovedhim;hewentalmostdistractedwhenthebaby，whichwasdelicate，criedorgavetrouble。Hegrumbledforhours，tohismother。Sheonlysaid：，“Well，mylad，youdidityourself，nowyoumustmakethebestofit。”，Andthenthegritcameoutinhim。
Hebuckledtowork，undertookhisresponsibilities，acknowledgedthat，hebelongedtohiswifeandchild，anddidmakeagoodbestofit。
Hehadneverbeenverycloselyinboundintothefamily。Nowhewas，gonealtogether。
Themonthswentslowlyalong。Paulhadmoreorlessgotinto，connectionwiththeSocialist，Suffragette，Unitarianpeoplein，Nottingham，owingtohisacquaintancewithClara。Oneday，afriendofhisandofClara’s，inBestwood，askedhimtotake，amessagetoMrs。Dawes。HewentintheeveningacrossSneinton，MarkettoBluebellHill。Hefoundthehouseinameanlittlestreet，pavedwithgranitecobblesandhavingcausewaysofdarkblue，groovedbricks。Thefrontdoorwentupastepfromoffthis，roughpavement，wherethefeetofthepassersbyraspedandclattered。
Thebrownpaintonthedoorwassooldthatthenakedwoodshowed，betweentherents。Hestoodonthestreetbelowandknocked。
Therecameaheavyfootstep;alarge，stoutwomanofaboutsixty，toweredabovehim。Helookedupatherfromthepavement。
Shehadarathersevereface。
Sheadmittedhimintotheparlour，whichopenedontothestreet。
Itwasasmall，stuffy，defunctroom，ofmahogany，anddeathly，enlargementsofphotographsofdepartedpeopledoneincarbon。
Mrs。Radfordlefthim。Shewasstately，almostmartial。
InamomentClaraappeared。Sheflusheddeeply，andhewascovered，withconfusion。Itseemedasifshedidnotlikebeingdiscovered，inherhomecircumstances。
“Ithoughtitcouldn’tbeyourvoice，“shesaid。
Butshemightaswellbehungforasheepasforalamb。
Sheinvitedhimoutofthemausoleumofaparlourintothekitchen。
Thatwasalittle，darkishroomtoo，butitwassmothered，inwhitelace。Themotherhadseatedherselfagainbythecupboard，andwasdrawingthreadfromavastweboflace。Aclumpoffluffand，ravelledcottonwasatherrighthand，aheapofthree-quarter-inchlace，layonherleft，whilstinfrontofherwasthemountainoflaceweb，pilingthehearthrug。Threadsofcurlycotton，pulledoutfrombetween，thelengthsoflace，strewedoverthefenderandthefireplace。
Pauldarednotgoforward，forfearoftreadingonpilesofwhitestuff。
Onthetablewasajennyforcardingthelace。Therewas，apackofbrowncardboardsquares，apackofcardsoflace，alittleboxofpins，andonthesofalayaheapofdrawnlace。
Theroomwasalllace，anditwassodarkandwarmthatthewhite，snowystuffseemedthemoredistinct。
“Ifyou’recominginyouwon’thavetomindthework，“
saidMrs。Radford。”Iknowwe’reaboutblockedup。Butsit，youdown。”
Clara，muchembarrassed，gavehimachairagainstthewall，oppositethewhiteheaps。Thensheherselftookherplace，onthesofa，shamedly。
“Willyoudrinkabottleofstout？”Mrs。Radfordasked。
“Clara，gethimabottleofstout。”
Heprotested，butMrs。Radfordinsisted。
“Youlookasifyoucoulddowithit，“shesaid。”Haven’tyou，neveranymorecolourthanthat？”
“It’sonlyathickskinI’vegotthatdoesn’tshow，thebloodthrough，“heanswered。
Clara，ashamedandchagrined，broughthimabottleofstout，andaglass。Hepouredoutsomeoftheblackstuff。
“Well，“hesaid，liftingtheglass，“here’shealth！”
“Andthankyou，“saidMrs。Radford。
Hetookadrinkofstout。
“Andlightyourselfacigarette，solongasyoudon’tset，thehouseonfire，“saidMrs。Radford。
“Thankyou，“hereplied。
“Nay，youneedn’tthankme，“sheanswered。”Is’llbe，gladtosmellabitofsmokeinth’’ouseagain。Ahouseo’
womenisasdeadasahousewi’nofire，tomythinkin’。I’m，notaspideraslikesacornertomyself。Ilikeamanabout，ifhe’sonlysomethingtosnapat。”
Clarabegantowork。Herjennyspunwithasubduedbuzz;
thewhitelacehoppedfrombetweenherfingersontothecard。
Itwasfilled;shesnippedoffthelength，andpinnedtheend，downtothebandedlace。Thensheputanewcardinherjenny。
Paulwatchedher。Shesatsquareandmagnificent。Herthroatand，armswerebare。Thebloodstillmantledbelowherears;shebent，herheadinshameofherhumility。Herfacewassetonherwork。
Herarmswerecreamyandfulloflifebesidethewhitelace;
herlarge，well-kepthandsworkedwithabalancedmovement，asifnothingwouldhurrythem。He，notknowing，watchedherall，thetime。Hesawthearchofherneckfromtheshoulder，asshe，bentherhead;hesawthecoilofdunhair;hewatchedhermoving，gleamingarms。
“I’veheardabitaboutyoufromClara，“continuedthemother。
“You’reinJordan’s，aren’tyou？”Shedrewherlaceunceasing。
“Yes。”
“Ay，well，andIcanrememberwhenThomasJordanusedtoask，MEforoneofmytoffies。”
“Didhe？”laughedPaul。”Anddidhegetit？”
“Sometimeshedid，sometimeshedidn’t——whichwaslatterly。
Forhe’sthesortthattakesallandgivesnaught，heis——orused，tobe。”
“Ithinkhe’sverydecent，“saidPaul。
“Yes;well，I’mgladtohearit。”
Mrs。Radfordlookedacrossathimsteadily。Therewassomething，determinedaboutherthatheliked。Herfacewasfallingloose，buthereyeswerecalm，andtherewassomethingstronginherthat，madeitseemshewasnotold;merelyherwrinklesandloosecheeks，wereananachronism。Shehadthestrengthandsang-froidofawoman，intheprimeoflife。Shecontinueddrawingthelacewithslow，dignifiedmovements。Thebigwebcameupinevitablyoverherapron;
thelengthoflacefellawayatherside。Herarmswerefinelyshapen，butglossyandyellowasoldivory。Theyhadnotthepeculiardull，gleamthatmadeClara’ssofascinatingtohim。
“Andyou’vebeengoingwithMiriamLeivers？”themotheraskedhim。
“Well——“heanswered。
“Yes，she’sanicegirl，“shecontinued。”She’sverynice，butshe’sabittoomuchabovethisworldtosuitmyfancy。”
“Sheisabitlikethat，“heagreed。
“She’llneverbesatisfiedtillshe’sgotwingsandcanfly，overeverybody’shead，shewon’t，“shesaid。
Clarabrokein，andhetoldherhismessage。Shespokehumbly，tohim。Hehadsurprisedherinherdrudgery。Tohaveherhumble，madehimfeelasifhewereliftinghisheadinexpectation。
“Doyoulikejennying？”heasked。
“Whatcanawomando！”sherepliedbitterly。
“Isitsweated？”
“Moreorless。Isn’tALLwoman’swork？，That’sanothertrick，themenhaveplayed，sinceweforceourselvesintothelabourmarket。”
“Nowthen，youshutupaboutthemen，“saidhermother。”Ifthe，womenwasn’tfools，themenwouldn’tbebaduns，that’swhatIsay。
Nomanwaseverthatbadwi’mebutwhathegotitbackagain。
Notbutwhatthey’realousylot，there’snodenyingit。”
“Butthey’reallrightreally，aren’tthey？”heasked。
“Well，they’reabitdifferentfromwomen，“sheanswered。
“WouldyoucaretobebackatJordan’s？”heaskedClara。
“Idon’tthinkso，“shereplied。
“Yes，shewould！”criedhermother;“thankherstarsifshe，couldgetback。Don’tyoulistentoher。She’sforeveronthat，’ighhorseofhers，an’it’sback’sthatthinan’starvedit’ll，cutherintwooneofthesedays。”
Clarasufferedbadlyfromhermother。Paulfeltasifhiseyes，werecomingverywideopen。Wasn’thetotakeClara’sfulminations，soseriously，afterall？，Shespunsteadilyatherwork。Heexperienced，athrillofjoy，thinkingshemightneedhishelp。Sheseemed，deniedanddeprivedofsomuch。Andherarmmovedmechanically，thatshouldneverhavebeensubduedtoamechanism，andherhead，wasbowedtothelace，thatnevershouldhavebeenbowed。Sheseemed，tobestrandedthereamongtherefusethatlifehasthrownaway，doingherjennying。Itwasabitterthingtohertobeputaside，bylife，asifithadnouseforher。Nowondersheprotested。
Shecamewithhimtothedoor。Hestoodbelowinthemeanstreet，lookingupather。Sofineshewasinherstatureandherbearing，sheremindedhimofJunodethroned。Asshestoodinthedoorway，shewincedfromthestreet，fromhersurroundings。
“AndyouwillgowithMrs。HodgkissontoHucknall？”
Hewastalkingquitemeaninglessly，onlywatchingher。
Hergreyeyesatlastmethis。Theylookeddumbwithhumiliation，pleadingwithakindofcaptivemisery。Hewasshakenandataloss。
Hehadthoughtherhighandmighty。
Whenhelefther，hewantedtorun。Hewenttothestation，inasortofdream，andwasathomewithoutrealisinghehadmoved，outofherstreet。
HehadanideathatSusan，theoverseeroftheSpiralgirls，wasabouttobemarried。Heaskedherthenextday。
“Isay，Susan，Iheardawhisperofyourgettingmarried。
Whataboutit？”
Susanflushedred。
“Who’sbeentalkingtoyou？”shereplied。
“Nobody。ImerelyheardawhisperthatyouWEREthinking——“
“Well，Iam，thoughyouneedn’ttellanybody。What’smore，IwishIwasn’t！”
“Nay，Susan，youwon’tmakemebelievethat。”
“Shan’tI？，YouCANbelieveit，though。I’dratherstop，hereathousandtimes。”
Paulwasperturbed。
“Why，Susan？”
Thegirl’scolourwashigh，andhereyesflashed。
“That’swhy！”
“Andmustyou？”
Foranswer，shelookedathim。Therewasabouthimacandour，andgentlenesswhichmadethewomentrusthim。Heunderstood。
“Ah，I’msorry，“hesaid。
Tearscametohereyes。
“Butyou’llseeit’llturnoutallright。You’llmakethebest，ofit，“hecontinuedratherwistfully。
“There’snothingelseforit。”
“Yea，there’smakingtheworstofit。Tryandmakeitallright。”
HesoonmadeoccasiontocallagainonClara。
“Wouldyou，“hesaid，“caretocomebacktoJordan’s？”
Sheputdownherwork，laidherbeautifularmsonthetable，andlookedathimforsomemomentswithoutanswering。Graduallythe，flushmountedhercheek。
“Why？”sheasked。
Paulfeltratherawkward。
“Well，becauseSusanisthinkingofleaving，“hesaid。
Clarawentonwithherjennying。Thewhitelaceleaped，inlittlejumpsandboundsontothecard。Hewaitedforher。
Withoutraisingherhead，shesaidatlast，inapeculiarlowvoice：
“Haveyousaidanythingaboutit？”
“Excepttoyou，notaword。”
Therewasagainalongsilence。
“Iwillapplywhentheadvertisementisout，“shesaid。
“Youwillapplybeforethat。Iwillletyouknowexactlywhen。”
Shewentonspinningherlittlemachine，anddidnotcontradicthim。
ClaracametoJordan’s。Someoftheolderhands，Fannyamongthem，rememberedherearlierrule，andcordiallydislikedthememory。
Clarahadalwaysbeen“ikey“reserved，andsuperior。Shehadnever，mixedwiththegirlsasoneofthemselves。Ifshehadoccasion，tofindfault，shediditcoollyandwithperfectpoliteness，whichthedefaulterfelttobeabiggerinsultthancrassness。
TowardsFanny，thepoor，overstrunghunchback，Clarawasunfailingly，compassionateandgentle，asaresultofwhichFannyshed，morebittertearsthanevertheroughtonguesoftheotheroverseers，hadcausedher。
TherewassomethinginClarathatPauldisliked，andmuch，thatpiquedhim。Ifshewereabout，healwayswatchedherstrong，throatorherneck，uponwhichtheblondehairgrewlowandfluffy。
Therewasafinedown，almostinvisible，upontheskinofherface，andarms，andwhenoncehehadperceivedit，hesawitalways。
Whenhewasathiswork，paintingintheafternoon，shewouldcomeandstandneartohim，perfectlymotionless。
Thenhefelther，thoughsheneitherspokenortouchedhim。
Althoughshestoodayardawayhefeltasifhewereincontact，withher。Thenhecouldpaintnomore。Heflungdownthebrushes，andturnedtotalktoher。
Sometimesshepraisedhiswork;sometimesshewascritical，andcold。
“Youareaffectedinthatpiece，“shewouldsay;and，asthere，wasanelementoftruthinhercondemnation，hisbloodboiled，withanger。
Again：，“Whatofthis？”hewouldaskenthusiastically。
“H’m！”Shemadeasmalldoubtfulsound。”Itdoesn’tinterest，memuch。”
“Becauseyoudon’tunderstandit，“heretorted。
“Thenwhyaskmeaboutit？”
“BecauseIthoughtyouwouldunderstand。”
Shewouldshrughershouldersinscornofhiswork。
Shemaddenedhim。Hewasfurious。Thenheabusedher，andwentinto，passionateexpositionofhisstuff。Thisamusedandstimulatedher。
Butsheneverownedthatshehadbeenwrong。
Duringthetenyearsthatshehadbelongedtothewomen’smovement，shehadacquiredafairamountofeducation，and，havinghadsome，ofMiriam’spassiontobeinstructed，hadtaughtherselfFrench，andcouldreadinthatlanguagewithastruggle。Sheconsidered，herselfasawomanapart，andparticularlyapart，fromherclass。
ThegirlsintheSpiraldepartmentwereallofgoodhomes。
Itwasasmall，specialindustry，andhadacertaindistinction。
Therewasanairofrefinementinbothrooms。ButClarawasaloof，alsofromherfellow-workers。
Noneofthesethings，however，didsherevealtoPaul。
Shewasnottheonetogiveherselfaway。Therewasasenseof，mysteryabouther。Shewassoreserved，hefeltshehadmuchtoreserve。
Herhistorywasopenonthesurface，butitsinnermeaningwashidden，fromeverybody。Itwasexciting。Andthensometimeshecaught，herlookingathimfromunderherbrowswithanalmostfurtive，sullenscrutiny，whichmadehimmovequickly。Oftenshemethiseyes。
Butthenherownwere，asitwere，coveredover，revealingnothing。
Shegavehimalittle，lenientsmile。Shewastohimextraordinarily，provocative，becauseoftheknowledgesheseemedtopossess，andgatheredfruitofexperiencehecouldnotattain。
OnedayhepickedupacopyofLettresdemonMoulinfrom，herwork-bench。
“YoureadFrench，doyou？”hecried。
Claraglancedroundnegligently。Shewasmakinganelastic，stockingofheliotropesilk，turningtheSpiralmachinewithslow，balancedregularity，occasionallybendingdowntoseeherworkorto，adjusttheneedles;thenhermagnificentneck，withitsdownandfine，pencilsofhair，shonewhiteagainstthelavender，lustroussilk。
Shetumedafewmorerounds，andstopped。
“Whatdidyousay？”sheasked，smilingsweetly。
Paul’seyesglitteredatherinsolentindifferencetohim。
“IdidnotknowyoureadFrench，“hesaid，verypolite。
“Didyounot？”shereplied，withafaint，sarcasticsmile。
“Rottenswank！”hesaid，butscarcelyloudenoughtobeheard。
Heshuthismouthangrilyashewatchedher。Sheseemed，toscorntheworkshemechanicallyproduced;yetthehoseshe，madewereasnearlyperfectaspossible。
“Youdon’tlikeSpiralwork，“hesaid。
“Oh，well，allworkiswork，“sheanswered，asifsheknew，allaboutit。
Hemarvelledathercoldness。Hehadtodoeverythinghotly。
Shemustbesomethingspecial。
“Whatwouldyouprefertodo？”heasked。
Shelaughedathimindulgently，asshesaid：
“Thereissolittlelikelihoodofmyeverbeinggivenachoice，thatIhaven’twastedtimeconsidering。”
“Pah！”hesaid，contemptuousonhissidenow。”Youonlysay，thatbecauseyou’retooproudtoownupwhatyouwantandcan’tget。”
“Youknowmeverywell，“sherepliedcoldly。
“Iknowyouthinkyou’reterrificgreatshakes，andthatyou，liveundertheeternalinsultofworkinginafactory。”
Hewasveryangryandveryrude。Shemerelytumedawayfrom，himindisdain。Hewalkedwhistlingdowntheroom，flirtedand，laughedwithHilda。
Lateronhesaidtohimself：
“WhatwasIsoimpudenttoClarafor？”Hewasratherannoyed，withhimself，atthesametimeglad。”Serveherright;shestinks，withsilentpride，“hesaidtohimselfangrily。
Intheafternoonhecamedown。Therewasacertainweight，onhisheartwhichhewantedtoremove。Hethoughttodoit，byofferingherchocolates。
“Haveone？”hesaid。”Iboughtahandfultosweetenmeup。”
Tohisgreatrelief，sheaccepted。Hesatonthework-bench，besidehermachine，twistingapieceofsilkroundhisfinger。
Shelovedhimforhisquick，unexpectedmovements，likeayounganimal。
Hisfeetswungashepondered。Thesweetslaystrewnonthebench。
Shebentoverhermachine，grindingrhythmically，thenstooping，toseethestockingthathungbeneath，pulleddownbytheweight。
Hewatchedthehandsomecrouchingofherback，andtheapron-strings，curlingonthefloor。
“Thereisalwaysaboutyou，“hesaid，“asortofwaiting。
WhateverIseeyoudoing，you’renotreallythere：，youare，waiting——likePenelopewhenshedidherweaving。”，Hecouldnothelp，aspurtofwickedness。”I’llcallyouPenelope，“hesaid。
“Woulditmakeanydifference？”shesaid，carefullyremoving，oneofherneedles。
“Thatdoesn’tmatter，solongasitpleasesme。Here，Isay，youseemtoforgetI’myourboss。Itjustoccurstome。”
“Andwhatdoesthatmean？”sheaskedcoolly。
“ItmeansI’vegotarighttobossyou。”
“Isthereanythingyouwanttocomplainabout？”
“Oh，Isay，youneedn’tbenasty，“hesaidangrily。
“Idon’tknowwhatyouwant，“shesaid，continuinghertask。
“Iwantyoutotreatmenicelyandrespectfully。”
“Callyou’sir’，perhaps？”sheaskedquietly。
“Yes，callme’sir’。Ishouldloveit。”
“ThenIwishyouwouldgoupstairs，sir。”
Hismouthclosed，andafrowncameonhisface。Hejumped，suddenlydown。
“You’retooblessedsuperiorforanything，“hesaid。
Andhewentawaytotheothergirls。Hefelthewasbeing，angrierthanhehadanyneedtobe。Infact，hedoubtedslightly，thathewasshowingoff。Butifhewere，thenhewould。Claraheard，himlaughing，inawayshehated，withthegirlsdownthenextroom。
Whenateveninghewentthroughthedepartmentafter，thegirlshadgone，hesawhischocolateslyinguntouched，infrontofClara’smachine。Heleftthem。Inthemorning，theywerestillthere，andClarawasatwork。LateronMinnie，alittlebrunettetheycalledPussy，calledtohim：
“Hey，haven’tyougotachocolateforanybody？”
“Sorry，Pussy，“hereplied。”Imeanttohaveofferedthem;
thenIwentandforgot’em。”
“Ithinkyoudid，“sheanswered。
“I’llbringyousomethisafternoon。Youdon’twantthem，afterthey’vebeenlyingabout，doyou？”
“Oh，I’mnotparticular，“smiledPussy。
“Ohno，“hesaid。”They’llbedusty。”
HewentuptoClara’sbench。
“SorryIleftthesethingslitteringabout，“hesaid。
Sheflushedscarlet。Hegatheredthemtogetherinhisfist。
“They’llbedirtynow，“hesaid。”Youshouldhavetakenthem。
Iwonderwhyyoudidn’t。ImeanttohavetoldyouIwantedyouto。”
Heflungthemoutofthewindowintotheyardbelow。
Hejustglancedather。Shewincedfromhiseyes。
Intheafternoonhebroughtanotherpacket。
“Willyoutakesome？”hesaid，offeringthemfirsttoClara。
“Thesearefresh。”
Sheacceptedone，andputitontothebench。
“Oh，takeseveral——forluck，“hesaid。
Shetookacouplemore，andputthemonthebenchalso。
Thensheturnedinconfusiontoherwork。Hewentonuptheroom。
“Hereyouare，Pussy，“hesaid。”Don’tbegreedy！”
“Aretheyallforher？”criedtheothers，rushingup。
“Ofcoursethey’renot，“hesaid。
Thegirlsclamouredround。Pussydrewbackfromhermates。
“Comeout！”shecried。”Icanhavefirstpick，can’tI，Paul？”
“Benicewith’em，“hesaid，andwentaway。
“YouAREadear，“thegirlscried。
“Tenpence，“heanswered。
HewentpastClarawithoutspeaking。Shefeltthethree，chocolatecreamswouldburnherifshetouchedthem。Itneeded，allhercouragetoslipthemintothepocketofherapron。
Thegirlslovedhimandwereafraidofhim。Hewassonice，whilehewasnice，butifhewereoffended，sodistant，treatingthem，asiftheyscarcelyexisted，ornotmorethanthebobbinsofthread。
Andthen，iftheywereimpudent，hesaidquietly：，“Doyoumind，goingonwithyourwork，“andstoodandwatched。
Whenhecelebratedhistwenty-thirdbirthday，thehousewas，introuble。Arthurwasjustgoingtobemarried。Hismotherwas，notwell。Hisfather，gettinganoldman，andlamefromhisaccidents，wasgivenapaltry，poorjob。Miriamwasaneternalreproach。
Hefeltheowedhimselftoher，yetcouldnotgivehimself。Thehouse，moreover，neededhissupport。Hewaspulledinalldirections。
Hewasnotgladitwashisbirthday。Itmadehimbitter。
Hegottoworkateighto’clock。Mostoftheclerkshadnot，turnedup。Thegirlswerenotduetill8。30。Ashewaschanging，hiscoat，heheardavoicebehindhimsay：
“Paul，Paul，Iwantyou。”
ItwasFanny，thehunchback，standingatthetopofherstairs，herfaceradiantwithasecret。Paullookedatherinastonishment。
“Iwantyou，“shesaid。
Hestood，ataloss。
“Comeon，“shecoaxed。”Comebeforeyoubeginontheletters。”
Hewentdownthehalf-dozenstepsintoherdry，narrow，“finishing-off“room。Fannywalkedbeforehim：，herblackbodicewas，short——thewaistwasunderherarmpits——andhergreen-blackcashmereskirt，seemedverylong，asshestrodewithbigstridesbeforetheyoungman，himselfsograceful。Shewenttoherseatatthenarrowendoftheroom，wherethewindowopenedontochimney-pots。Paulwatchedherthin，handsandherflatredwristsassheexcitedlytwitchedherwhite，apron，whichwasspreadonthebenchinfrontofher。Shehesitated。
“Youdidn’tthinkwe’dforgotyou？”sheasked，reproachful。
“Why？”heasked。Hehadforgottenhisbirthdayhimself。
“’Why，’hesays！，’Why！’，Why，lookhere！”Shepointed，tothecalendar，andhesaw，surroundingthebigblacknumber，“21“hundredsoflittlecrossesinblack-lead。
“Oh，kissesformybirthday，“helaughed。”Howdidyouknow？”
“Yes，youwanttoknow，don’tyou？”Fannymocked，hugelydelighted。
“There’sonefromeverybody——exceptLadyClara——andtwofromsome。
ButIshan’ttellyouhowmanyIput。”
“Oh，Iknow，you’respooney，“hesaid。
“ThereyouAREmistaken！”shecried，indignant。”Icould，neverbesosoft。”，Hervoicewasstrongandcontralto。
“Youalwayspretendtobesuchahard-heartedhussy，“helaughed。
“Andyouknowyou’reassentimental——“
“I’dratherbecalledsentimentalthanfrozenmeat，“
Fannyblurted。PaulknewshereferredtoClara，andhesmiled。
“Doyousaysuchnastythingsaboutme？”helaughed。
“No，myduck，“thehunchbackwomananswered，lavishlytender。
Shewasthirty-nine。”No，myduck，becauseyoudon’tthinkyourself，afinefigureinmarbleandusnothingbutdirt。I’masgoodasyou，aren’tI，Paul？”andthequestiondelightedher。
“Why，we’renotbetterthanoneanother，arewe？”hereplied。
“ButI’masgoodasyou，aren’tI，Paul？”shepersisteddaringly。
“Ofcourseyouare。Ifitcomestogoodness，you’rebetter。”
Shewasratherafraidofthesituation。Shemightgethysterical。
“IthoughtI’dgetherebeforetheothers——won’ttheysayI’mdeep！
Nowshutyoureyes——“shesaid。
“Andopenyourmouth，andseewhatGodsendsyou，“hecontinued，suitingactiontowords，andexpectingapieceofchocolate。
Heheardtherustleoftheapron，andafaintclinkofmetal。
“I’mgoingtolook，“hesaid。
Heopenedhiseyes。Fanny，herlongcheeksflushed，herblueeyesshining，wasgazingathim。Therewasalittle，bundleofpaint-tubesonthebenchbeforehim。Heturnedpale。
“No，Fanny，“hesaidquickly。
“Fromusall，“sheansweredhastily。
“No，but——“
“Aretheytherightsort？”sheasked，rockingherselfwithdelight。
“Jove！they’rethebestinthecatalogue。”
“Butthey’retherightsorts？”shecried。
“They’reoffthelittlelistI’dmadetogetwhenmyship，camein。”，Hebithislip。
Fannywasovercomewithemotion。Shemustturntheconversation。
“Theywasallonthornstodoit;theyallpaidtheirshares，allexcepttheQueenofSheba。”
TheQueenofShebawasClara。
“Andwouldn’tshejoin？”Paulasked。
“Shedidn’tgetthechance;wenevertoldher;wewasn’tgoing，tohaveHERbossingTHISshow。Wedidn’tWANThertojoin。”
Paullaughedatthewoman。Hewasmuchmoved。Atlasthe，mustgo。Shewasveryclosetohim。Suddenlysheflungherarms，roundhisneckandkissedhimvehemently。
“Icangiveyouakissto-day，“shesaidapologetically。
“You’velookedsowhite，it’smademyheartache。”
Paulkissedher，andlefther。Herarmsweresopitifully，thinthathisheartachedalso。
ThatdayhemetClaraasherandownstairstowashhishands，atdinner-time。
“Youhavestayedtodinner！”heexclaimed。Itwasunusual，forher。
“Yes;andIseemtohavedinedonoldsurgical-appliancestock。
IMUSTgooutnow，orIshallfeelstaleindia-rubberrightthrough。”
Shelingered。Heinstantlycaughtatherwish。
“Youaregoinganywhere？”heasked。
TheywenttogetheruptotheCastle。Outdoorsshedressed，veryplainly，downtougliness;indoorsshealwayslookednice。
ShewalkedwithhesitatingstepsalongsidePaul，bowingandturning，awayfromhim。Dowdyindress，anddrooping，sheshowedto，greatdisadvantage。Hecouldscarcelyrecogniseherstrongform，thatseemedtoslumberwithpower。Sheappearedalmostinsignificant，drowningherstatureinherstoop，assheshrankfromthepublicgaze。
TheCastlegroundswereverygreenandfresh。Climbingthe，precipitousascent，helaughedandchattered，butshewassilent，seemingtobroodoversomething。Therewasscarcelytimetogo，insidethesquat，squarebuildingthatcrownsthebluffofrock。
TheyleaneduponthewallwherethecliffrunssheerdowntothePark。
Belowthem，intheirholesinthesandstone，pigeonspreened，themselvesandcooedsoftly。Awaydownupontheboulevardat，thefootoftherock，tinytreesstoodintheirownpoolsofshadow，andtinypeoplewentscurryingaboutinalmostludicrousimportance。
“Youfeelasifyoucouldscoopupthefolkliketadpoles，andhaveahandfulofthem，“hesaid。
Shelaughed，answering：
“Yes;itisnotnecessarytogetfaroffinordertosee，usproportionately。Thetreesaremuchmoresignificant。”
“Bulkonly，“hesaid。
Shelaughedcynically。
Awaybeyondtheboulevardthethinstripesofthemetals，showedupontherailway-track，whosemarginwascrowdedwithlittle，stacksoftimber，besidewhichsmokingtoyenginesfussed。
Thenthesilverstringofthecanallayatrandomamongthe，blackheaps。Beyond，thedwellings，verydenseontheriverflat，lookedlikeblack，poisonousherbage，inthickrowsandcrowdedbeds，stretchingrightaway，brokennowandthenbytallerplants，righttowheretheriverglistenedinahieroglyphacrossthecountry。
Thesteepscarpcliffsacrosstheriverlookedpuny。Greatstretches，ofcountrydarkenedwithtreesandfaintlybrightenedwithcorn-land，spreadtowardsthehaze，wherethehillsrosebluebeyondgrey。
“Itiscomforting，“saidMrs。Dawes，“tothinkthetowngoes，nofarther。ItisonlyaLITTLEsoreuponthecountryyet。”
“Alittlescab，“Paulsaid。
Sheshivered。Sheloathedthetown。Lookingdrearilyacross，atthecountrywhichwasforbiddenher，herimpassiveface，pale，andhostile，sheremindedPaulofoneofthebitter，remorsefulangels。
“Butthetown’sallright，“hesaid;“it’sonlytemporary。
Thisisthecrude，clumsymake-shiftwe’vepractisedon，tillwefind，outwhattheideais。Thetownwillcomeallright。”
Thepigeonsinthepocketsofrock，amongtheperchedbushes，cooedcomfortably。TotheleftthelargechurchofSt。Maryrose，intospace，tokeepclosecompanywiththeCastle，abovetheheaped，rubbleofthetown。Mrs。Dawessmiledbrightlyasshelookedacross，thecountry。
“Ifeelbetter，“shesaid。
“Thankyou，“hereplied。”Greatcompliment！”
“Oh，mybrother！”shelaughed。
“H’m！that’ssnatchingbackwiththelefthandwhatyougave，withtheright，andnomistake，“hesaid。
Shelaughedinamusementathim。
“Butwhatwasthematterwithyou？”heasked。”Iknowyou，werebroodingsomethingspecial。Icanseethestampofit，onyourfaceyet。”
“IthinkIwillnottellyou，“shesaid。
“Allright，hugit，“heanswered。
Sheflushedandbitherlip。
“No，“shesaid，“itwasthegirls。”
“Whatabout’em？”Paulasked。
“Theyhavebeenplottingsomethingforaweeknow，andto-day，theyseemparticularlyfullofit。Allalike;theyinsultme，withtheirsecrecy。”
“Dothey？”heaskedinconcern。
“Ishouldnotmind，“shewenton，inthemetallic，angrytone，“iftheydidnotthrustitintomyface——thefactthattheyhave，asecret。”
“Justlikewomen，“saidhe。
“Itishateful，theirmeangloating，“shesaidintensely。
Paulwassilent。Heknewwhatthegirlsgloatedover。
Hewassorrytobethecauseofthisnewdissension。
“Theycanhaveallthesecretsintheworld，“shewenton，broodingbitterly;“buttheymightrefrainfromgloryinginthem，andmakingmefeelmoreoutofitthanever。Itis——itis，almostunbearable。”
Paulthoughtforafewminutes。Hewasmuchperturbed。
“Iwilltellyouwhatit’sallabout，“hesaid，paleandnervous。
“It’smybirthday，andthey’veboughtmeafinelotofpaints，allthegirls。They’rejealousofyou“——hefeltherstiffencoldly，attheword’jealous’——“merelybecauseIsometimesbringyouabook，“
headdedslowly。”But，yousee，it’sonlyatrifle。Don’tbother，aboutit，willyou——because“——helaughedquickly——“well，whatwouldthey，sayiftheysawusherenow，inspiteoftheirvictory？”
Shewasangrywithhimforhisclumsyreferenceto，theirpresentintimacy。Itwasalmostinsolentofhim。
Yethewassoquiet，sheforgavehim，althoughitcostheraneffort。
TheirtwohandslayontheroughstoneparapetoftheCastlewall。
Hehadinheritedfromhismotherafinenessofmould，sothat，hishandsweresmallandvigorous。Herswerelarge，tomatchher，largelimbs，butwhiteandpowerfullooking。AsPaullookedatthem，heknewher。”Sheiswantingsomebodytotakeherhands——forallshe，issocontemptuousofus，“hesaidtohimself。Andshesawnothingbut，histwohands，sowarmandalive，whichseemedtoliveforher。Hewas，broodingnow，staringoutoverthecountryfromundersullenbrows。
Thelittle，interestingdiversityofshapeshadvanishedfromthescene;
allthatremainedwasavast，darkmatrixofsorrowandtragedy，thesameinallthehousesandtheriver-flatsandthepeopleand，thebirds;theywereonlyshapendifferently。Andnowthattheforms，seemedtohavemeltedaway，thereremainedthemassfromwhichall，thelandscapewascomposed，adarkmassofstruggleandpain。
Thefactory，thegirls，hismother，thelarge，upliftedchurch，thethicketofthetown，mergedintooneatmosphere——dark，brooding，andsorrowful，everybit。
“Isthattwoo’clockstriking？”Mrs。Dawessaidinsurprise。
Paulstarted，andeverythingsprangintoform，regained，itsindividuality，itsforgetfulness，anditscheerfulness。
Theyhurriedbacktowork。
Whenhewasintherushofpreparingforthenight’spost，examiningtheworkupfromFanny’sroom，whichsmeltofironing，theeveningpostmancamein。
“’Mr。PaulMorel，’“hesaid，smiling，handingPaulapackage。
“Alady’shandwriting！，Don’tletthegirlsseeit。”
Thepostman，himselfafavourite，waspleasedtomakefun，ofthegirls’affectionforPaul。
Itwasavolumeofversewithabriefnote：，“Youwillallowme，tosendyouthis，andsosparememyisolation。Ialsosympathise，andwishyouwell——C。D。”，Paulflushedhot。
“GoodLord！，Mrs。Dawes。Shecan’taffordit。GoodLord，whoever’dhavethoughtit！”
Hewassuddenlyintenselymoved。Hewasfilledwiththewarmth，ofher。Intheglowhecouldalmostfeelherasifshewere，present——herarms，hershoulders，herbosom，seethem，feelthem，almostcontainthem。
ThismoveonthepartofClarabroughtthemintocloserintimacy。
TheothergirlsnoticedthatwhenPaulmetMrs。Daweshiseyeslifted，andgavethatpeculiarbrightgreetingwhichtheycouldinterpret。
Knowinghewasunaware，Claramadenosign，savethat，occasionallysheturnedasideherfacefromhimwhenhecameuponher。
Theywalkedouttogetherveryoftenatdinner-time;itwas，quiteopen，quitefrank。Everybodyseemedtofeelthathewasquite，unawareofthestateofhisownfeeling，andthatnothingwaswrong。
Hetalkedtohernowwithsomeoftheoldfervourwithwhichhe，hadtalkedtoMiriam，buthecaredlessaboutthetalk;hedid，notbotherabouthisconclusions。
OnedayinOctobertheywentouttoLambleyfortea。
Suddenlytheycametoahaltontopofthehill。Heclimbedandsat，onagate，shesatonthestile。Theafternoonwasperfectlystill，withadimhaze，andyellowsheavesglowingthrough。Theywerequiet。
“Howoldwereyouwhenyoumarried？”heaskedquietly。
“Twenty-two。”
Hervoicewassubdued，almostsubmissive。Shewouldtell，himnow。
“Itiseightyearsago？”
“Yes。”
“Andwhendidyouleavehim？”
“Threeyearsago。”
“Fiveyears！，Didyoulovehimwhenyoumarriedhim？”
Shewassilentforsometime;thenshesaidslowly：
“IthoughtIdid——moreorless。Ididn’tthinkmuchaboutit。
Andhewantedme。Iwasveryprudishthen。”
“Andyousortofwalkedintoitwithoutthinking？”
“Yes。Iseemedtohavebeenasleepnearlyallmylife。”
“Somnambule？，But——whendidyouwakeup？”
“Idon’tknowthatIeverdid，oreverhave——sinceIwasachild。”
“Youwenttosleepasyougrewtobeawoman？，Howqueer！
Andhedidn’twakeyou？”
“No;henevergotthere，“shereplied，inamonotone。
Thebrownbirdsdashedoverthehedgeswheretherose-hips，stoodnakedandscarlet。
“Gotwhere？”heasked。
“Atme。Heneverreallymatteredtome。”
Theafternoonwassogentlywarmanddim。Redroofs，ofthecottagesburnedamongthebluehaze。Helovedtheday。
Hecouldfeel，buthecouldnotunderstand，whatClarawassaying。
“Butwhydidyouleavehim？，Washehorridtoyou？”
Sheshudderedlightly。
“He——hesortofdegradedme。Hewantedtobullymebecausehe，hadn’tgotme。AndthenIfeltasifIwantedtorun，asifI
wasfastenedandboundup。Andheseemeddirty。”
“Isee。”
Hedidnotatallsee。
“Andwashealwaysdirty？”heasked。
“Abit，“sherepliedslowly。”Andthenheseemedasifhe，couldn’tgetATme，really。Andthenhegotbrutal——heWASbrutal！”
“Andwhydidyouleavehimfinally？”
“Because——becausehewasunfaithfultome——“
Theywerebothsilentforsometime。Herhandlayonthegate-post，asshebalanced。Heputhisownoverit。Hisheartbeatquickly。
“Butdidyou——wereyouever——didyouevergivehimachance？”
“Chance？，How？”
“Tocomeneartoyou。”
“Imarriedhim——andIwaswilling——“
Theybothstrovetokeeptheirvoicessteady。
“Ibelievehelovesyou，“hesaid。
“Itlookslikeit，“shereplied。
Hewantedtotakehishandaway，andcouldnot。Shesaved，himbyremovingherown。Afterasilence，hebeganagain：
“Didyouleavehimoutofcountallalong？”
“Heleftme，“shesaid。
“AndIsupposehecouldn’tMAKEhimselfmeaneverythingtoyou？”
“Hetriedtobullymeintoit。”
Buttheconversationhadgotthembothoutoftheirdepth。
SuddenlyPauljumpeddown。
“Comeon，“hesaid。”Let’sgoandgetsometea。”