第2章
Finallythepairenteredsimultaneouslyandsideways；withtheresultthattheyjostledoneanothernotalittleintheprocess。
“Allowmetopresenttoyoumywife，“continuedManilov。“Mydear——PaulIvanovitch。“
UponthatChichikovcaughtsightofaladywhomhithertohehadoverlooked，butwho，withManilov，wasnowbowingtohiminthedoorway。Notwhollyofunpleasingexterior，shewasdressedinawell-fitting，high-neckedmorningdressofpale-colouredsilk；andasthevisitorenteredtheroomhersmallwhitehandsthrewsomethinguponthetableandclutchedherembroideredskirtbeforerisingfromthesofawhereshehadbeenseated。NotwithoutasenseofpleasuredidChichikovtakeherhandas，lispingalittle，shedeclaredthatsheandherhusbandwereequallygratifiedbyhiscoming，andthat，oflate，notadayhadpassedwithoutherhusbandrecallinghimtomind。
“Yes，“affirmedManilov；“andeverydaySHEhassaidtoME："Whydoesnotyourfriendputinanappearance？""Waitalittledearest，"I
havealwaysreplied。""Twillnotbelongnowbeforehecomes。"AndyouHAVEcome，youHAVEhonoureduswithavisit，youHAVEbestoweduponusatreat——atreatdestinedtoconvertthisdayintoagaladay，atruebirthdayoftheheart。“
Theintimationthatmattershadreachedthepointoftheoccasionbeingdestinedtoconstitutea“truebirthdayoftheheart“causedChichikovtobecomealittleconfused；whereforehemademodestreplythat，asamatteroffact，hewasneitherofdistinguishedoriginnordistinguishedrank。
“Ah，youAREso，“interruptedManilovwithhisfixedandengagingsmile。“Youareallthat，andmore。“
“Howlikeyouourtown？”queriedMadame。“Haveyouspentanagreeabletimeinit？”
“Very，“repliedChichikov。“Thetownisanexceedinglyniceone，andI
havegreatlyenjoyeditshospitablesociety。“
“AndwhatdoyouthinkofourGovernor？”
“Yes；IShenotamostengaginganddignifiedpersonage？”addedManilov。
“Heisallthat，“assentedChichikov。“Indeed，heisamanworthyofthegreatestrespect。Andhowthoroughlyheperformshisdutyaccordingtohislights！Wouldthatwehadmorelikehim！”
“Andthetactfulnesswithwhichhegreetseveryone！”addedManilov，smiling，andhalf-closinghiseyes，likeacatwhichisbeingtickledbehindtheears。
“Quiteso，“assentedChichikov。“Heisamanofthemosteminentcivilityandapproachableness。Andwhatanartist！NevershouldIhavethoughthecouldhaveworkedthemarvelloushouseholdsamplerswhichhehasdone！Somespecimensofhisneedleworkwhichheshowedmecouldnotwellhavebeensurpassedbyanyladyintheland！”
“AndtheVice-Governor，too——heisaniceman，ishenot？”inquiredManilovwithrenewedblinkingsoftheeyes。
“Who？TheVice-Governor？Yes，amostworthyfellow！”repliedChichikov。
“AndwhatoftheChiefofPolice？Isitnotafactthathetooisinthehighestdegreeagreeable？”
“Veryagreeableindeed。Andwhataclever，well-readindividual！WithhimandthePublicProsecutorandthePresidentoftheLocalCouncilI
playedwhistuntilthecocksutteredtheirlastmorningcrow。Heisamostexcellentfellow。“
“Andwhatofhiswife？”queriedMadameManilov。“Isshenotamostgraciouspersonality？”
“Oneofthebestamongmylimitedacquaintance，“agreedChichikov。
NorwerethePresidentoftheLocalCouncilandthePostmasteroverlooked；untilthecompanyhadrunthroughthewholelistofurbanofficials。Andineverycasethoseofficialsappearedtobepersonsofthehighestpossiblemerit。
“Doyoudevoteyourtimeentirelytoyourestate？”askedChichikov，inhisturn。
“Well，mostofit，“repliedManilov；“thoughalsowepayoccasionalvisitstothetown，inorderthatwemayminglewithalittlewell-bredsociety。Onegrowsatriflerustyifonelivesforeverinretirement。“
“Quiteso，“agreedChichikov。
“Yes，quiteso，“cappedManilov。“Atthesametime，itwouldbeadifferentmatteriftheneighbourhoodwereaGOODone——if，forexample，onehadafriendwithwhomonecoulddiscussmannersandpolitedeportment，orengageinsomebranchofscience，andsostimulateone"swits。Forthatsortofthinggivesone"sintellectanairing。It，it——“Atalossforfurtherwords，heendedbyremarkingthathisfeelingswereapttocarryhimaway；afterwhichhecontinuedwithagesture：“WhatImeanisthat，werethatsortofthingpossible，I，forone，couldfindthecountryandanisolatedlifepossessedofgreatattractions。But，asmattersstand，suchathingisNOTpossible。AllthatIcanmanagetodois，occasionally，toreadalittleofASonoftheFatherland。“
WiththesesentimentsChichikovexpressedentireagreement：addingthatnothingcouldbemoredelightfulthantoleadasolitarylifeinwhichthereshouldbecomprisedonlythesweetcontemplationofnatureandtheintermittentperusalofabook。
“Nay，butevenTHATwereworthnothinghadnotoneafriendwithwhomtoshareone"slife，“remarkedManilov。
“True，true，“agreedChichikov。“Withoutafriend，whatareallthetreasuresintheworld？"Possessnotmoney，"awisemanhassaid，"butrathergoodfriendstowhomtoturnincaseofneed。"“
“Yes，PaulIvanovitch，“saidManilovwithaglancenotmerelysweet，butpositivelyluscious——aglanceakintothemixturewhichevencleverphysicianshavetorenderpalatablebeforetheycaninduceahesitantpatienttotakeit。“Consequentlyyoumayimaginewhathappiness——whatPERFECThappiness，sotospeak——thepresentoccasionhasbroughtme，seeingthatIampermittedtoconversewithyouandtoenjoyyourconversation。“
“ButWHATofmyconversation？”repliedChichikov。“Iamaninsignificantindividual，and，beyondthat，nothing。“
“Oh，PaulIvanovitch！”criedtheother。“Permitmetobefrank，andtosaythatIwouldgivehalfmypropertytopossessevenaPORTIONofthetalentswhichyoupossess。“
“Onthecontrary，Ishouldconsideritthehighesthonourintheworldif——“
Thelengthstowhichthismutualoutpouringofsoulwouldhaveproceededhadnotaservantenteredtoannounceluncheonmustremainamystery。
“Ihumblyinviteyoutojoinusattable，“saidManilov。“Also，youwillpardonusforthefactthatwecannotprovideabanquetsuchasistobeobtainedinourmetropolitancities？Wepartakeofsimplefare，accordingtoRussiancustom——weconfineourselvestoshtchi[3]，butwedosowithasingleheart。Come，Ihumblybegofyou。“
[3]Cabbagesoup。
Afteranothercontestforthehonourofyieldingprecedence，Chichikovsucceededinmakinghisway(inzigzagfashion)tothedining-room，wheretheyfoundawaitingthemacoupleofyoungsters。ThesewereManilov"ssons，andboysoftheagewhichadmitsoftheirpresenceattable，butnecessitatesthecontinueduseofhighchairs。Besidethemwastheirtutor，whobowedpolitelyandsmiled；afterwhichthehostesstookherseatbeforehersoupplate，andtheguestofhonourfoundhimselfesconsedbetweenherandthemasterofthehouse，whiletheservanttieduptheboys"necksinbibs。
“Whatcharmingchildren！”saidChichikovashegazedatthepair。“Andhowoldarethey？”
“Theeldestiseight，“repliedManilov，“andtheyoungeroneattainedtheageofsixyesterday。“
“Themistocleus，“wentonthefather，turningtohisfirst-born，whowasengagedinstrivingtofreehischinfromthebibwithwhichthefootmanhadencircledit。OnhearingthisdistinctlyGreekname(towhich，forsomeunknownreason，Manilovalwaysappendedthetermination“eus“)，Chichikovraisedhiseyebrowsalittle，buthastened，thenextmoment，torestorehisfacetoamorebefittingexpression。
“Themistocleus，“repeatedthefather，“tellmewhichisthefinestcityinFrance。“
UponthisthetutorconcentratedhisattentionuponThemistocleus，andappearedtobetryinghardtocatchhiseye。OnlywhenThemistocleushadmuttered“Paris“didthepreceptorgrowcalmer，andnodhishead。
“AndwhichisthefinestcityinRussia？”continuedManilov。
Againthetutor"sattitudebecamewhollyoneofconcentration。
“St。Petersburg，“repliedThemistocleus。
“Andwhatothercity？”
“Moscow，“respondedtheboy。
“Cleverlittledear！”burstoutChichikov，turningwithanairofsurprisetothefather。“Indeed，Ifeelboundtosaythatthechildevincesthegreatestpossiblepotentialities。“
“Youdonotknowhimfully，“repliedthedelightedManilov。“Theamountofsharpnesswhichhepossessesisextraordinary。Ouryoungerone，Alkid，isnotsoquick；whereashisbrother——well，nomatterwhathemayhappenupon(whetheruponacowbugoruponawater-beetleoruponanythingelse)，hislittleeyesbeginjumpingoutofhishead，andherunstocatchthething，andtoinspectit。ForHIMIamreservingadiplomaticpost。Themistocleus，“addedthefather，againturningtohisson，“doyouwishtobecomeanambassador？”
“Yes，Ido，“repliedThemistocleus，chewingapieceofbreadandwagginghisheadfromsidetoside。
Atthismomentthelacqueywhohadbeenstandingbehindthefutureambassadorwipedthelatter"snose；andwellitwasthathedidso，sinceotherwiseaninelegantandsuperfluousdropwouldhavebeenaddedtothesoup。Afterthattheconversationturneduponthejoysofaquietlife——thoughoccasionallyitwasinterruptedbyremarksfromthehostessonthesubjectofactingandactors。Meanwhilethetutorkepthiseyesfixeduponthespeakers"faces；andwheneverhenoticedthattheywereonthepointoflaughingheatonceopenedhismouth，andlaughedwithenthusiasm。Probablyhewasamanofgratefulheartwhowishedtorepayhisemployersforthegoodtreatmentwhichhehadreceived。Once，however，hisfeaturesassumedalookofgrimnessas，fixinghiseyesuponhisvis-a-vis，theboys，hetappedsternlyuponthetable。ThishappenedatajuncturewhenThemistocleushadbittenAlkidontheear，andthesaidAlkid，withfrowningeyesandopenmouth，waspreparinghimselftosobinpiteousfashion；until，recognisingthatforsuchaproceedinghemightpossiblybedeprivedofhisplate，hehastenedtorestorehismouthtoitsoriginalexpression，andfelltearfullytognawingamuttonbone——thegreasefromwhichhadsooncoveredhischeeks。
EverynowandagainthehostesswouldturntoChichikovwiththewords，“Youareeatingnothing——youhaveindeedtakenlittle；“butinvariablyherguestreplied：“Thankyou，Ihavehadmorethanenough。
Apleasantconversationisworthallthedishesintheworld。“
Atlengththecompanyrosefromtable。Manilovwasinhighspirits，and，layinghishanduponhisguest"sshoulder，wasonthepointofconductinghimtothedrawing-room，whensuddenlyChichikovintimatedtohim，withameaninglook，thathewishedtospeaktohimonaveryimportantmatter。
“Thatbeingso，“saidManilov，“allowmetoinviteyouintomystudy。“
Andheledthewaytoasmallroomwhichfacedtheblueoftheforest。
“Thisismysanctum，“headded。
“Whatapleasantapartment！”remarkedChichikovasheeyeditcarefully。And，indeed，theroomdidnotlackacertainattractiveness。Thewallswerepaintedasortofblueish-greycolour，andthefurnitureconsistedoffourchairs，asettee，andatable——thelatterofwhichboreafewsheetsofwriting-paperandthebookofwhichIhavebeforehadoccasiontospeak。Butthemostprominentfeatureoftheroomwastobacco，whichappearedinmanydifferentguises——inpackets，inatobaccojar，andinalooseheapstrewnaboutthetable。Likewise，bothwindowsillswerestuddedwithlittleheapsofash，arranged，notwithoutartifice，inrowsofmoreorlesstidiness。Clearlysmokingaffordedthemasterofthehouseafrequentmeansofpassingthetime。
“Permitmetoofferyouaseatonthissettee，“saidManilov。“Hereyouwillbequieterthanyouwouldbeinthedrawing-room。“
“ButIshouldprefertosituponthischair。“
“Icannotallowthat，“objectedthesmilingManilov。“Thesetteeisspeciallyreservedformyguests。Whetheryouchooseorno，uponityouMUSTsit。“
AccordinglyChichikovobeyed。
“Andalsoletmehandyouapipe。“
“No，Ineversmoke，“answeredChichikovcivilly，andwithanassumedairofregret。
“Andwhy？”inquiredManilov——equallycivilly，butwitharegretthatwaswhollygenuine。
“BecauseIfearthatIhaveneverquiteformedthehabit，owingtomyhavingheardthatapipeexercisesadesiccatingeffectuponthesystem。“
“Thenallowmetotellyouthatthatismereprejudice。Nay，Iwouldevengosofarastosaythattosmokeapipeisahealthierpracticethantotakesnuff。Amongitsmembersourregimentnumberedalieutenant——amostexcellent，well-educatedfellow——whowassimplyINCAPABLEofremovinghispipefromhismouth，whetherattableor(pardonme)inotherplaces。Heisnowforty，yetnomancouldenjoybetterhealththanhehasalwaysdone。“
Chichikovrepliedthatsuchcaseswerecommon，sincenaturecomprisedmanythingswhicheventhefinestintellectcouldnotcompass。
“Butallowmetoputtoyouaquestion，“hewentoninatoneinwhichtherewasastrange——or，atallevents，RATHERastrange——note。Forsomeunknownreason，also，heglancedoverhisshoulder。Forsomeequallyunknownreason，ManilovglancedoverHIS。
“Howlongisit，“inquiredtheguest，“sinceyoulastrenderedacensusreturn？”
“Oh，along，longtime。Infact，Icannotrememberwhenitwas。“
“Andsincethenhavemanyofyourserfsdied？”
“Idonotknow。ToascertainthatIshouldneedtoaskmybailiff。
Footman，goandcallthebailiff。Ithinkhewillbeathometo-day。“
Beforelongthebailiffmadehisappearance。Hewasamanofunderforty，clean-shaven，cladinasmock，andevidentlyusedtoaquietlife，seeingthathisfacewasofthatpuffyfullness，andtheskinencirclinghisslit-likeeyeswasofthatsallowtint，whichshowsthattheownerofthosefeaturesiswellacquaintedwithafeatherbed。Inatriceitcouldbeseenthathehadplayedhispartinlifeasallsuchbailiffsdo——that，originallyayoungserfofelementaryeducation，hehadmarriedsomeAgashkaofahousekeeperoramistress"sfavourite，andthenhimselfbecomehousekeeper，and，subsequently，bailiff；afterwhichhehadproceededaccordingtotherulesofhistribe——thatistosay，hehadconsortedwithandstoodinwiththemorewell-to-doserfsontheestate，andaddedthepooreronestothelistofforcedpayersofobrok，whilehimselfleavinghisbedatnineo"clockinthemorning，and，whenthesamovarhadbeenbrought，drinkinghisteaatleisure。
“Lookhere，mygoodman，“saidManilov。“Howmanyofourserfshavediedsincethelastcensusrevision？”
“Howmanyofthemhavedied？Why，agreatmany。“Thebailiffhiccoughed，andslappedhismouthlightlyafterdoingso。
“Yes，Iimaginedthattobethecase，“corroboratedManilov。“Infact，aVERYgreatmanyserfshavedied。“HeturnedtoChichikovandrepeatedthewords。
“Howmany，forinstance？”askedChichikov。
“Yes；howmany？”re-echoedManilov。
“HOWmany？”re-echoedthebailiff。“Well，nooneknowstheexactnumber，fornoonehaskeptanyaccount。“
“Quiteso，“remarkedManilov。“Isupposedthedeath-ratetohavebeenhigh，butwasignorantofitspreciseextent。“
“Thenwouldyoubesogoodastohaveitcomputedforme？”saidChichikov。“Andalsotohaveadetailedlistofthedeathsmadeout？”
“Yes，Iwill——adetailedlist，“agreedManilov。
“Verywell。“
Thebailiffdeparted。
“Forwhatpurposedoyouwantit？”inquiredManilovwhenthebailiffhadgone。
Thequestionseemedtoembarrasstheguest，forinChichikov"sfacetheredawnedasortoftenseexpression，anditreddenedasthoughitsownerwerestrivingtoexpresssomethingnoteasytoputintowords。
Trueenough，Manilovwasnowdestinedtohearsuchstrangeandunexpectedthingsasneverbeforehadgreetedhumanears。
“Youaskme，“saidChichikov，“forwhatpurposeIwantthelist。Well，mypurposeinwantingitisthis——thatIdesiretopurchaseafewpeasants。“Andhebrokeoffinagulp。
“ButmayIaskHOWyoudesiretopurchasethosepeasants？”askedManilov。“Withland，ormerelyassoulsfortransferment——thatistosay，bythemselves，andwithoutanyland？”
“Iwantthepeasantsthemselvesonly，“repliedChichikov。“AndIwantdeadonesatthat。“
“What？——Excuseme，butIamatrifledeaf。Really，yourwordssoundmoststrange！”
“AllthatIamproposingtodo，“repliedChichikov，“istopurchasethedeadpeasantswho，atthelastcensus，werereturnedbyyouasalive。“
Manilovdroppedhispipeonthefloor，andsatgaping。Yes，thetwofriendswhohadjustbeendiscussingthejoysofcamaraderiesatstaringatoneanotherliketheportraitswhich，ofold，usedtohangonoppositesidesofamirror。AtlengthManilovpickeduphispipe，and，whiledoingso，glancedcovertlyatChichikovtoseewhethertherewasanytraceofasmiletobedetectedonhislips——whether，inshort，hewasjoking。Butnothingofthesortcouldbediscerned。Onthecontrary，Chichikov"sfacelookedgraverthanusual。Next，Manilovwonderedwhether，forsomeunknownreason，hisguesthadlosthiswits；whereforehespentsometimeingazingathimwithanxiousintentness。Buttheguest"seyesseemedclear——theycontainednosparkofthewild，restlessfirewhichisapttowanderintheeyesofmadmen。Allwasasitshouldbe。Consequently，inspiteofManilov"scogitations，hecouldthinkofnothingbettertodothantositlettingastreamoftobaccosmokeescapefromhismouth。
“So，“continuedChichikov，“whatIdesiretoknowiswhetheryouarewillingtohandovertome——toresign——theseactuallynon-living，butlegallyliving，peasants；orwhetheryouhaveanybetterproposaltomake？”
Manilovfelttooconfusedandconfoundedtodoaughtbutcontinuestaringathisinterlocutor。
“Ithinkthatyouaredisturbingyourselfunnecessarily，“wasChichikov"snextremark。
“I？Ohno！Notatall！”stammeredManilov。“Only——pardonme——Idonotquitecomprehendyou。Yousee，neverhasitfallentomylottoacquirethebrilliantpolishwhichis，sotospeak，manifestinyoureverymovement。NorhaveIeverbeenabletoattaintheartofexpressingmyselfwell。Consequently，althoughthereisapossibilitythatinthe——er——utteranceswhichhavejustfallenfromyourlipstheremayliesomethingelseconcealed，itmayequallybethat——er——youhavebeenpleasedsotoexpressyourselfforthesakeofthebeautyofthetermswhereinthatexpressionfoundshape？”
“Oh，no，“assertedChichikov。“ImeanwhatIsayandnomore。Myreferencetosuchofyourpleasantsoulsasaredeadwasintendedtobetakenliterally。“
Manilovstillfeltataloss——thoughhewasconsciousthatheMUST
dosomething，heMUSTpropoundsomequestion。Butwhatquestion？Thedevilaloneknew！Intheendhemerelyexpelledsomemoretobaccosmoke——thistimefromhisnostrilsaswellasfromhismouth。
“So，“wentonChichikov，“ifnoobstaclestandsintheway，wemightaswellproceedtothecompletionofthepurchase。“
“What？Ofthepurchaseofthedeadsouls？”
“Ofthe"dead"souls？Ohdearno！LetuswritethemdownasLIVING
ones，seeingthatthatishowtheyfigureinthecensusreturns。NeverdoIpermitmyselftostepoutsidethecivillaw，greatthoughhasbeentheharmwhichthatrulehaswroughtmeinmycareer。Inmyeyesanobligationisasacredthing。InthepresenceofthelawIamdumb。“
TheselastwordsreassuredManilovnotalittle：yetstillthemeaningoftheaffairremainedtohimamystery。Bywayofanswer，hefelltosuckingathispipewithsuchvehemencethatatlengththepipebegantogurglelikeabassoon。Itwasasthoughhehadbeenseekingofitinspirationinthepresentunheard-ofjuncture。Butthepipeonlygurgled，etpraetereanihil。
“Perhapsyoufeeldoubtfulabouttheproposal？”saidChichikov。
“Notatall，“repliedManilov。“Butyouwill，Iknow，excusemeifI
say(andIsayitoutofnospiritofprejudice，noryetascriticisingyourselfinanyway)——youwill，Iknow，excusemeifIsaythatpossiblythis——er——this，er，SCHEMEofyours，this——er——TRANSACTIONofyours，mayfailaltogethertoaccordwiththeCivilStatutesandProvisionsoftheRealm？”
AndManilov，withaslightgestureofthehead，lookedmeaninglyintoChichikov"sface，whiledisplayinginhiseveryfeature，includinghisclosely-compressedlips，suchanexpressionofprofundityasneverbeforewasseenonanyhumancountenance——unlessonthatofsomeparticularlysapientMinisterofStatewhoisdebatingsomeparticularlyabstruseproblem。
NeverthelessChichikovrejoinedthatthekindofschemeortransactionwhichhehadadumbratedinnowayclashedwiththeCivilStatutesandProvisionsofRussia；towhichheaddedthattheTreasurywouldevenBENEFITbytheenterprise，seeingitwoulddrawtherefromtheusuallegalpercentage。
“What，then，doyoupropose？”askedManilov。
“Iproposeonlywhatisabove-board，andnothingelse。“
“Then，thatbeingso，itisanothermatter，andIhavenothingtourgeagainstit，“saidManilov，apparentlyreassuredtothefull。
“Verywell，“remarkedChichikov。“Thenweneedonlytoagreeastotheprice。“
“Astotheprice？”beganManilov，andthenstopped。Presentlyhewenton：“Surelyyoucannotsupposemecapableoftakingmoneyforsoulswhich，inonesenseatleast，havecompletedtheirexistence？Seeingthatthisfantasticwhimofyours(ifImaysocallit？)hasseizeduponyoutotheextentthatithas，I，onmyside，shallbereadytosurrendertoyouthosesoulsUNCONDITIONALLY，andtochargemyselfwiththewholeexpensesofthesale。“
IshouldbegreatlytoblameifIweretoomitthat，assoonasManilovhadpronouncedthesewords，thefaceofhisguestbecamerepletewithsatisfaction。Indeed，graveandprudentamanthoughChichikovwas，hehadmuchadotorefrainfromexecutingaleapthatwouldhavedonecredittoagoat(ananimalwhich，asweallknow，findsitselfmovedtosuchexertionsonlyduringmomentsofthemostecstaticjoy)。Neverthelesstheguestdidatleastexecutesuchaconvulsiveshufflethatthematerialwithwhichthecushionsofthechairwerecoveredcameapart，andManilovgazedathimwithsomemisgiving。FinallyChichikov"sgratitudeledhimtoplungeintoastreamofacknowledgementofavehemencewhichcausedhishosttogrowconfused，toblush，toshakehisheadindeprecation，andtoendbydeclaringthattheconcessionwasnothing，andthat，hisonedesirebeingtomanifestthedictatesofhisheartandthepsychicmagnetismwhichhisfriendexercised，he，inshort，lookeduponthedeadsoulsassomuchworthlessrubbish。
“Notatall，“repliedChichikov，pressinghishand；afterwhichheheavedaprofoundsigh。Indeed，heseemedintherightmoodforoutpouringsoftheheart，forhecontinued——notwithoutaringofemotioninhistone：“Ifyoubutknewtheservicewhichyouhaverenderedtoanapparentlyinsignificantindividualwhoisdevoidbothoffamilyandkindred！ForwhathaveInotsufferedinmytime——I，adriftingbarqueamidthetempestuousbillowsoflife？Whatharryings，whatpersecutions，haveInotknown？OfwhatgriefhaveInottasted？
Andwhy？SimplybecauseIhaveeverkeptthetruthinview，becauseeverIhavepreservedinviolateanunsulliedconscience，becauseeverIhavestretchedoutahelpinghandtothedefencelesswidowandthehaplessorphan！”AfterwhichoutpouringChichikovpulledouthishandkerchief，andwipedawayabrimmingtear。
Manilov"sheartwasmovedtothecore。Againandagaindidthetwofriendspressoneanother"shandsinsilenceastheygazedintooneanother"stear-filledeyes。Indeed，ManilovCOULDnotletgoourhero"shand，butclaspeditwithsuchwarmththattheheroinquestionbegantofeelhimselfatalosshowbesttowrenchitfree：until，quietlywithdrawingit，heobservedthattohavethepurchasecompletedasspeedilyaspossiblewouldnotbeabadthing；whereforehehimselfwouldatoncereturntothetowntoarrangematters。Takinguphishat，therefore，herosetomakehisadieus。
“What？Areyoudepartingalready？”saidManilov，suddenlyrecoveringhimself，andexperiencingasenseofmisgiving。Atthatmomenthiswifesailedintotheroom。
“IsPaulIvanovitchleavingussosoon，dearestLizanka？”shesaidwithanairofregret。
“Yes。Surelyitmustbethatwehaveweariedhim？”herspousereplied。
“Bynomeans，“assertedChichikov，pressinghishandtohisheart。“Inthisbreast，madam，willabideforeverthepleasantmemoryofthetimewhichIhavespentwithyou。Believeme，Icouldconceiveofnogreaterblessingthantoreside，ifnotunderthesameroofasyourselves，atalleventsinyourimmediateneighbourhood。“
“Indeed？”exclaimedManilov，greatlypleasedwiththeidea。“HowsplendiditwouldbeifyouDIDcometoresideunderourroof，sothatwecouldreclineunderanelmtreetogether，andtalkphilosophy，anddelvetotheveryrootofthings！”
“Yes，itWOULDbeaparadisaicalexistence！”agreedChichikovwithasigh。NeverthelessheshookhandswithMadame。“Farewell，sudarina，“
hesaid。“AndfarewelltoYOU，myesteemedhost。DonotforgetwhatIhaverequestedyoutodo。“
“RestassuredthatIwillnot，“respondedManilov。“OnlyforacoupleofdayswillyouandIbepartedfromoneanother。“
Withthatthepartymovedintothedrawing-room。
“Farewell，dearestchildren，“ChichikovwentonashecaughtsightofAlkidandThemistocleus，whowereplayingwithawoodenhussarwhichlackedbothanoseandonearm。“Farewell，dearestpets。Pardonmeforhavingbroughtyounopresents，but，totellyouthetruth，Iwasnot，untilmyvisit，awareofyourexistence。However，nowthatIshallbecomingagain，Iwillnotfailtobringyougifts。Themistocleus，toyouIwillbringasword。Youwouldlikethat，wouldyounot？”
“Ishould，“repliedThemistocleus。
“Andtoyou，Alkid，Iwillbringadrum。Thatwouldsuityou，woulditnot？”AndhebowedinAlkid"sdirection。
“Zeth——adrum，“lispedtheboy，hanginghishead。
“Good！Thenadrumitshallbe——SUCHabeautifuldrum！Whatatur-r-r-ru-ingandatra-ta-ta-ta-ingyouwillbeabletokickup！
Farewell，mydarling。“And，kissingtheboy"shead，heturnedtoManilovandMadamewiththeslightsmilewhichoneassumesbeforeassuringparentsoftheguilelessmeritsoftheiroffspring。
“Butyouhadbetterstay，PaulIvanovitch，“saidthefatherasthetriosteppedoutontotheverandah。“Seehowthecloudsaregathering！”
“Theyareonlysmallones，“repliedChichikov。
“AndyouknowyourwaytoSobakevitch"s？”
“No，Idonot，andshouldbegladifyouwoulddirectme。“
“IfyoulikeIwilltellyourcoachman。“AndinverycivilfashionManilovdidso，evengoingsofarastoaddressthemaninthesecondpersonplural。Onhearingthathewastopasstwoturnings，andthentotakeathird，Selifanremarked，“Weshallgetthereallright，sir，“andChichikovdepartedamidaprofoundsalvoofsalutationsandwavingsofhandkerchiefsonthepartofhishostandhostess，whoraisedthemselvesontiptoeintheirenthusiasm。
ForalongwhileManilovstoodfollowingthedepartingbritchkawithhiseyes。Infact，hecontinuedtosmokehispipeandgazeafterthevehicleevenwhenithadbecomelosttoview。Thenhere-enteredthedrawing-room，seatedhimselfuponachair，andsurrenderedhismindtothethoughtthathehadshownhisguestmostexcellententertainment。
Next，hismindpassedimperceptiblytoothermatters，untilatlastitlostitselfGodonlyknowswhere。Hethoughtoftheamenitiesofalife，offriendship，andofhowniceitwouldbetolivewithacomradeon，say，thebankofsomeriver，andtospantheriverwithabridgeofhisown，andtobuildanenormousmansionwithafacadeloftyenougheventoaffordaviewtoMoscow。Onthatfacadeheandhiswifeandfriendwoulddrinkafternoonteaintheopenair，anddiscussinterestingsubjects；afterwhich，inafinecarriage，theywoulddrivetosomereunionorother，wherewiththeirpleasantmannerstheywouldsocharmthecompanythattheImperialGovernment，onlearningoftheirmerits，wouldraisethepairtothegradeofGeneralorGodknowswhat——thatistosay，toheightswhereofevenManilovhimselfcouldformnoidea。ThensuddenlyChichikov"sextraordinaryrequestinterruptedthedreamer"sreflections，andhefoundhisbrainpowerlesstodigestit，seeingthat，turnandturnthematteraboutashemight，hecouldnotproperlyexplainitsbearing。
Smokinghispipe，hesatwherehewasuntilsuppertime。
CHAPTERIII
Meanwhile，Chichikov，seatedinhisbritchkaandbowlingalongtheturnpike，wasfeelinggreatlypleasedwithhimself。Fromtheprecedingchapterthereaderwillhavegatheredtheprincipalsubjectofhisbentandinclinations：whereforeitisnomatterforwonderthathisbodyandhissoulhadendedbybecomingwhollyimmersedtherein。Toallappearancesthethoughts，thecalculations，andtheprojectswhichwerenowreflectedinhisfacepartookofapleasantnature，sincemomentarilytheykeptleavingbehindthemasatisfiedsmile。Indeed，soengrossedwashethathenevernoticedthathiscoachman，elatedwiththehospitalityofManilov"sdomestics，wasmakingremarksofadidacticnaturetotheoffhorseofthetroika[1]，askewbald。Thisskewbaldwasaknowinganimal，andmadeonlyashowofpulling；
whereasitscomrades，themiddlehorse(abay，andknownastheAssessor，owingtohishavingbeenacquiredfromagentlemanofthatrank)andthenearhorse(aroan)，woulddotheirworkgallantly，andevenevinceintheireyesthepleasurewhichtheyderivedfromtheirexertions。
[1]Threehorsesharnessedabreast。
“Ah，yourascal，yourascal！I"llgetthebetterofyou！”ejaculatedSelifanashesatupandgavethelazyoneacutwithhiswhip。“YOU
knowyourbusinessallright，youGermanpantaloon！Thebayisagoodfellow，anddoeshisduty，andIwillgivehimabitoverhisfeed，forheisahorsetoberespected；andtheAssessortooisagoodhorse。ButwhatareYOUshakingyourearsfor？Youareafool，sojustmindwhenyou"respokento。"TisgoodadviceI"mgivingyou，youblockhead。Ah！YouCANtravelwhenyoulike。“Andhegavetheanimalanothercut，andthenshoutedtothetrio，“Geeup，mybeauties！”anddrewhiswhipgentlyacrossthebacksoftheskewbald"scomrades——notasapunishment，butasasignofhisapproval。Thatdone，headdressedhimselftotheskewbaldagain。
“Doyouthink，“hecried，“thatIdon"tseewhatyouaredoing？Youcanbehavequitedecentlywhenyoulike，andmakeamanrespectyou。“
Withthathefelltorecallingcertainreminiscences。
“TheywereNICEfolk，thosefolkatthegentleman"syonder，“hemused。“IDOloveachatwithamanwhenheisagoodsort。WithamanofthatkindIamalwayshail-fellow-well-met，andgladtodrinkaglassofteawithhim，ortoeatabiscuit。OneCAN"Thelprespectingadecentfellow。Forinstance，thisgentlemanofmine——why，everyonelooksuptohim，forhehasbeenintheGovernment"sservice，andisaCollegiateCouncillor。“
Thussoliloquising，hepassedtomoreremoteabstractions；until，hadChichikovbeenlistening，hewouldhavelearntanumberofinterestingdetailsconcerninghimself。However，histhoughtswerewhollyoccupiedwithhisownsubject，somuchsothatnotuntilaloudclapofthunderawokehimfromhisreveriedidheglancearoundhim。Theskywascompletelycoveredwithclouds，andthedustyturnpikebeginningtobesprinkledwithdropsofrain。Atlengthasecondandanearerandalouderpealresounded，andtheraindescendedasfromabucket。
Fallingslantwise，itbeatupononesideofthebasketworkofthetiltuntilthesplashingsbegantospurtintohisface，andhefoundhimselfforcedtodrawthecurtains(fittedwithcircularopeningsthroughwhichtoobtainaglimpseofthewaysideview)，andtoshouttoSelifantoquickenhispace。Uponthatthecoachman，interruptedinthemiddleofhisharangue，bethoughthimthatnotimewastobelost；
wherefore，extractingfromunderthebox-seatapieceofoldblanket，hecoveredoverhissleeves，resumedthereins，andcheeredonhisthreefoldteam(which，itmaybesaid，hadsocompletelysuccumbedtotheinfluenceofthepleasantlassitudeinducedbySelifan"sdiscoursethatithadtakentoscarcelyplacingonelegbeforetheother)。
Unfortunately，Selifancouldnotclearlyrememberwhethertwoturningshadbeenpassedorthree。Indeed，oncollectinghisfaculties，anddimlyrecallingthelieoftheroad，hebecamefilledwithashrewdsuspicionthatAVERYLARGENUMBERofturningshadbeenpassed。Butsince，atmomentswhichcallforahastydecision，aRussianisquicktodiscoverwhatmayconceivablybethebestcoursetotake，ourcoachmanputawayfromhimallulteriorreasoning，and，turningtotherightatthenextcross-road，shouted，“Hi，mybeauties！”andsetoffatagallop。Neverforamomentdidhestoptothinkwhithertheroadmightleadhim！
Itwaslongbeforethecloudshaddischargedtheirburden，and，meanwhile，thedustontheroadbecamekneadedintomire，andthehorses"taskofpullingthebritchkaheavierandheavier。Also，ChichikovhadtakenalarmathiscontinuedfailuretocatchsightofSobakevitch"scountryhouse。Accordingtohiscalculations，itoughttohavebeenreachedlongago。Hegazedabouthimoneveryside，butthedarknesswastoodensefortheeyetopierce。
“Selifan！”heexclaimed，leaningforwardinthebritchka。
“Whatisit，barin？”repliedthecoachman。
“Canyouseethecountryhouseanywhere？”
“No，barin。“Afterwhich，withaflourishofthewhip，themanbrokeintoasortofendless，drawlingsong。Inthatsongeverythinghadaplace。By“everything“ImeanboththevariousencouragingandstimulatingcrieswithwhichRussianfolkurgeontheirhorses，andarandom，unpremeditatedselectionofadjectives。
MeanwhileChichikovbegantonoticethatthebritchkawasswayingviolently，anddealinghimoccasionalbumps。Consequentlyhesuspectedthatithadlefttheroadandwasbeingdraggedoveraploughedfield。
UponSelifan"smindthereappearedtohavedawnedasimilarinkling，forhehadceasedtoholdforth。
“Yourascal，whatroadareyoufollowing？”inquiredChichikov。
“Idon"tknow，“retortedthecoachman。“Whatcanamandoatatimeofnightwhenthedarknesswon"tlethimevenseehiswhip？”AndasSelifanspokethevehicletiltedtoananglewhichleftChichikovnochoicebuttohangonwithhandsandteeth。AtlengthherealisedthefactthatSelifanwasdrunk。
“Stop，stop，oryouwillupsetus！”heshoutedtothefellow。
“No，no，barin，“repliedSelifan。“HOWcouldIupsetyou？Toupsetpeopleiswrong。Iknowthatverywell，andshouldneverdreamofsuchconduct。“
Herehestartedtoturnthevehicleroundalittle——andkeptondoingsountilthebritchkacapsizedontoitsside，andChichikovlandedinthemudonhishandsandknees。FortunatelySelifansucceededinstoppingthehorses，althoughtheywouldhavestoppedofthemselves，seeingthattheywereutterlywornout。Thisunforeseencatastropheevidentlyastonishedtheirdriver。Slippingfromthebox，hestoodrestinghishandsagainstthesideofthebritchka，whileChichikovtumbledandflounderedaboutinthemud，inavainendeavourtowriggleclearofthestuff。
“Ah，you！”saidSelifanmeditativelytothebritchka。“Tothinkofupsettinguslikethis！”
“Youareasdrunkasalord！”exclaimedChichikov。
“No，no，barin。Drunk，indeed？Why，Iknowmymannerstoowell。Awordortwowithafriend——thatisallthatIhavetaken。Anyonemaytalkwithadecentmanwhenhemeetshim。Thereisnothingwronginthat。
Also，wehadasnacktogether。Thereisnothingwronginasnack——especiallyasnackwithadecentman。“
“WhatdidIsaytoyouwhenlastyougotdrunk？”askedChichikov。
“HaveyouforgottenwhatIsaidthen？”
“No，no，barin。HOWcouldIforgetit？Iknowwhatiswhat，andknowthatitisnotrighttogetdrunk。AllthatIhavebeenhavingisawordortwowithadecentman，forthereasonthat——“
“Well，ifIlaythewhipaboutyou，you"llknowthenhowtotalktoadecentfellow，I"llwarrant！”
“Asyouplease，barin，“repliedthecomplacentSelifan。“Shouldyouwhipme，youwillwhipme，andIshallhavenothingtocomplainof。
WhyshouldyounotwhipmeifIdeserveit？"Tisforyoutodoasyoulike。Whippingsarenecessarysometimes，forapeasantoftenplaysthefool，anddisciplineoughttobemaintained。IfIhavedeservedit，beatme。Whyshouldyounot？”
Thisreasoningseemed，atthemoment，irrefutable，andChichikovsaidnothingmore。Fortunatelyfatehaddecidedtotakepityonthepair，forfromafartheirearscaughtthebarkingofadog。Pluckingupcourage，Chichikovgaveordersforthebritchkatoberighted，andthehorsestobeurgedforward；andsinceaRussiandriverhasatleastthismerit，that，owingtoakeensenseofsmellbeingabletotaketheplaceofeyesight，hecan，ifnecessary，driveatrandomandyetreachadestinationofsomesort，Selifansucceeded，thoughpowerlesstodiscernasingleobject，indirectinghissteedstoacountryhousenearby，andthatwithsuchacertaintyofinstinctthatitwasnotuntiltheshaftshadcollidedwithagardenwall，andtherebymadeitclearthattoproceedanotherpacewasimpossible，thathestopped。
AllthatChichikovcoulddiscernthroughthethickveilofpouringrainwassomethingwhichresembledaverandah。SohedispatchedSelifantosearchfortheentrancegates，andthatprocesswouldhavelastedindefinitelyhaditnotbeenshortenedbythecircumstancethat，inRussia，theplaceofaSwissfootmanisfrequentlytakenbywatchdogs；ofwhichanimalsanumbernowproclaimedthetravellers"
presencesoloudlythatChichikovfoundhimselfforcedtostophisears。Next，alightgleamedinoneofthewindows，andfilteredinathinstreamtothegardenwall——thusrevealingthewhereaboutsoftheentrancegates；whereuponSelifanfelltoknockingatthegatesuntiltheboltsofthehousedoorwerewithdrawnandthereissuedtherefromafigurecladinaroughcloak。
“Whoisthatknocking？Whathaveyoucomefor？”shoutedthehoarsevoiceofanelderlywoman。
“Wearetravellers，goodmother，“saidChichikov。“Prayallowustospendthenighthere。“
“Outuponyouforapairofgadabouts！”retortedtheoldwoman。“A
finetimeofnighttobearriving！Wedon"tkeepanhotel，mindyou。
Thisisalady"sresidence。“
“Butwhatarewetodo，mother？Wehavelostourway，andcannotspendthenightoutofdoorsinsuchweather。“
“No，wecannot。Thenightisdarkandcold，“addedSelifan。
“Holdyourtongue，youfool！”exclaimedChichikov。
“WhoAREyou，then？”inquiredtheoldwoman。
“Advorianin[2]，goodmother。“
[2]Amemberofthegentryclass。
Somehowtheworddvorianinseemedtogivetheoldwomanfoodforthought。
“Waitamoment，“shesaid，“andIwilltellthemistress。“
Twominuteslatershereturnedwithalanterninherhand，thegateswereopened，andalightglimmeredinasecondwindow。Enteringthecourtyard，thebritchkahaltedbeforeamoderate-sizedmansion。Thedarknessdidnotpermitofveryaccurateobservationbeingmade，but，apparently，thewindowsonlyofone-halfofthebuildingwereilluminated，whileaquagmireinfrontofthedoorreflectedthebeamsfromthesame。Meanwhiletheraincontinuedtobeatsonorouslydownuponthewoodenroof，andcouldbeheardtricklingintoawaterbutt；
norforasinglemomentdidthedogsceasetobarkwithallthestrengthoftheirlungs。Oneofthem，throwingupitshead，keptventingahowlofsuchenergyanddurationthattheanimalseemedtobehowlingforahandsomewager；whileanother，cuttinginbetweentheyelpingsofthefirstanimal，keptrestlesslyreiterating，likeapostman"sbell，thenotesofaveryyoungpuppy。Finally，anoldhoundwhichappearedtobegiftedwithapeculiarlyrobusttemperamentkeptsupplyingthepartofcontrabasso，sothathisgrowlsresembledtherumblingofabasssingerwhenachorusisinfullcry，andthetenorsarerisingontiptoeintheireffortstocompassaparticularlyhighnote，andthewholebodyofchoristersarewaggingtheirheadsbeforeapproachingaclimax，andthiscontrabassoaloneistuckinghisbeardedchinintohiscollar，andsinkingalmosttoasquattingpostureonthefloor，inordertoproduceanotewhichshallcausethewindowstoshiverandtheirpanestocrack。Naturally，fromacaninechorusofsuchexecutantsitmightreasonablybeinferredthattheestablishmentwasoneoftheutmostrespectability。Tothat，however，ourdamp，coldherogavenotathought，forallhismindwasfixeduponbed。Indeed，thebritchkahadhardlycometoastandstillbeforeheleaptoutuponthedoorstep，missedhisfooting，andcamewithinanaceoffalling。Tomeethimthereissuedafemaleyoungerthanthefirst，butverycloselyresemblingher；andonhisbeingconductedtotheparlour，acoupleofglancesshowedhimthattheroomwashungwitholdstripedcurtains，andornamentedwithpicturesofbirdsandsmall，antiquemirrors——thelattersetindarkframeswhichwerecarvedtoresemblescrollsoffoliage。Behindeachmirrorwasstuckeitheraletteroranoldpackofcardsorastocking，whileonthewallhungaclockwithaflowereddial。More，however，Chichikovcouldnotdiscern，forhiseyelidswereasheavyasthoughsmearedwithtreacle。Presentlytheladyofthehouseherselfentered——anelderlywomaninasortofnightcap(hastilyputon)andaflannelneckwrap。
Shebelongedtothatclassofladylandownerswhoareforeverlamentingfailuresoftheharvestandtheirlossesthereby；totheclasswho，droopingtheirheadsdespondently，areallthewhilestuffingmoneyintostripedpurses，whichtheykeephoardedinthedrawersofcupboards。Intoonepursetheywillstuffroublepieces，intoanotherhalfroubles，andintoathirdtchetvertachki[3]，althoughfromtheirmienyouwouldsupposethatthecupboardcontainedonlylinenandnightshirtsandskeinsofwoolandthepieceofshabbymaterialwhichisdestined——shouldtheoldgownbecomescorchedduringthebakingofholidaycakesandotherdainties，orshoulditfallintopiecesofitself——tobecomeconvertedintoanewdress。Butthegownneverdoesgetburntorwearout，forthereasonthattheladyistoocareful；whereforethepieceofshabbymaterialreposesinitsunmade-upconditionuntilthepriestadvisesthatitbegiventothenieceofsomewidowedsister，togetherwithaquantityofothersuchrubbish。
[3]Piecesequalinvaluetotwenty-fivekopecks(aquarterofarouble)。
Chichikovapologisedforhavingdisturbedthehouseholdwithhisunexpectedarrival。
“Notatall，notatall，“repliedthelady。“ButinwhatdreadfulweatherGodhasbroughtyouhither！Whatwindandwhatrain！Youcouldnothelplosingyourway。Prayexcuseusforbeingunabletomakebetterpreparationsforyouatthistimeofnight。“
Suddenlytherebrokeinuponthehostess"wordsthesoundofastrangehissing，asoundsoloudthatthegueststartedinalarm，andthemoresoseeingthatitincreaseduntiltheroomseemedfilledwithadders。
Onglancingupwards，however，herecoveredhiscomposure，forheperceivedthesoundtobeemanatingfromtheclock，whichappearedtobeinamindtostrike。Tothehissingsoundtheresucceededawheezingone，until，puttingforthitsbestefforts，thethingstrucktwowithasmuchclatterasthoughsomeonehadbeenhittinganironpotwithacudgel。Thatdone，thependulumreturnedtoitsright-left，right-leftoscillation。
Chichikovthankedhishostesskindly，andsaidthatheneedednothing，andshemustnotputherselfabout：onlyforrestwashelonging——thoughalsoheshouldliketoknowwhitherhehadarrived，andwhetherthedistancetothecountryhouseofland-ownerSobakevitchwasanythingverygreat。Tothistheladyrepliedthatshehadneversomuchasheardthename，sincenogentlemanofthenameresidedinthelocality。
“ButatleastyouareacquaintedwithlandownerManilov？”continuedChichikov。
“No。Whoishe？”
“Anotherlandedproprietor，madam。“
“Well，neitherhaveIheardofhim。Nosuchlandownerliveshereabouts。“
“ThenwhoAREyourlocallandowners？”
“Bobrov，Svinin，Kanapatiev，Khapakin，Trepakin，andPlieshakov。“
“Aretheyrichmen？”
“No，noneofthem。Oneofthemmayowntwentysouls，andanotherthirty，butofgentrywhoownahundredtherearenone。“
Chichikovreflectedthathehadindeedfallenintoanaristocraticwilderness！
“Atallevents，isthetownfaraway？”heinquired。
“Aboutsixtyversts。HowsorryIamthatIhavenothingforyoutoeat！Shouldyoucaretodrinksometea？”
“Ithankyou，goodmother，butIrequirenothingbeyondabed。“
“Well，aftersuchajourneyyoumustindeedbeneedingrest，soyoushalllieuponthissofa。Fetinia，bringaquiltandsomepillowsandsheets。WhatweatherGodhassentus！Andwhatdreadfulthunder！EversincesunsetIhavehadacandleburningbeforetheikoninmybedroom。MyGod！Why，yourbackandsidesareasmuddyasaboar"s！
Howeverhaveyoumanagedtogetintosuchastate？”
“ThatIamnothingworsethanmuddyisindeedfortunate，since，butfortheAlmighty，Ishouldhavehadmyribsbroken。“
“Dear，dear！Tothinkofallthatyoumusthavebeenthrough。HadI
notbetterwipeyourback？”
“Ithankyou，Ithankyou，butyouneednottrouble。Merelybesogoodastotellyourmaidtodrymyclothes。“
“Doyouhearthat，Fetinia？”saidthehostess，turningtoawomanwhowasengagedindragginginafeatherbedanddelugingtheroomwithfeathers。“Takethiscoatandthisvest，and，afterdryingthembeforethefire——justasweusedtodoforyourlatemaster——givethemagoodrub，andfoldthemupneatly。“
“Verywell，mistress，“saidFetinia，spreadingsomesheetsoverthebed，andarrangingthepillows。
“Nowyourbedisreadyforyou，“saidthehostesstoChichikov。
“Good-night，dearsir。Iwishyougood-night。Isthereanythingelsethatyourequire？Perhapsyouwouldliketohaveyourheelstickledbeforeretiringtorest？Nevercouldmylatehusbandgettosleepwithoutthathavingbeendone。“
Buttheguestdeclinedtheprofferedheel-tickling，and，onhishostesstakingherdeparture，hastenedtodivesthimselfofhisclothing，bothupperandunder，andtohandthegarmentstoFetinia。
Shewishedhimgood-night，andremovedthewettrappings；afterwhichhefoundhimselfalone。Notwithoutsatisfactiondidheeyehisbed，whichreachedalmosttotheceiling。ClearlyFetiniawasapastmistressintheartofbeatingupsuchacouch，and，astheresult，hehadnosoonermounteditwiththeaidofachairthanitsankwell-nightothefloor，andthefeathers，squeezedoutoftheirproperconfines，flewhitherandthitherintoeverycorneroftheapartment。
Neverthelessheextinguishedthecandle，coveredhimselfoverwiththechintzquilt，snuggleddownbeneathit，andinstantlyfellasleep。
Nextdayitwaslateinthemorningbeforeheawoke。Throughthewindowthesunwasshiningintohiseyes，andtheflieswhich，overnight，hadbeenroostingquietlyonthewallsandceilingnowturnedtheirattentiontothevisitor。Onesettledonhislip，anotheronhisear，athirdhoveredasthoughintendingtolodgeinhisveryeye，andafourthhadthetemeritytoalightjustunderhisnostrils。
Inhisdrowsyconditionheinhaledthelatterinsect，sneezedviolently，andsoreturnedtoconsciousness。Heglancedaroundtheroom，andperceivedthatnotallthepictureswererepresentativeofbirds，sinceamongthemhungalsoaportraitofKutuzov[4]andanoilpaintingofanoldmaninauniformwithredfacingssuchaswereworninthedaysoftheEmperorPaul[5]。Atthismomenttheclockuttereditsusualhissingsound，andstruckten，whileawoman"sfacepeeredinatthedoor，butatoncewithdrew，forthereasonthat，withtheobjectofsleepingaswellaspossible，Chichikovhadremovedeverystitchofhisclothing。Somehowthefaceseemedtohimfamiliar，andhesethimselftorecallwhoseitcouldbe。Atlengthherecollectedthatitwasthefaceofhishostess。Hisclotheshefoundlying，cleananddry，besidehim；sohedressedandapproachedthemirror，meanwhilesneezingagainwithsuchvehemencethatacockwhichhappenedatthemomenttobenearthewindow(whichwassituatedatnogreatdistancefromtheground)chuckledashort，sharpphrase。
Probablyitmeant，inthebird"salientongue，“Goodmorningtoyou！”
Chichikovretortedbycallingthebirdafool，andthenhimselfapproachedthewindowtolookattheview。Itappearedtocompriseapoulterer"spremises。Atallevents，thenarrowyardinfrontofthewindowwasfullofpoultryandotherdomesticcreatures——ofgamefowlsandbarndoorfowls，with，amongthem，acockwhichstruttedwithmeasuredgait，andkeptshakingitscomb，andtiltingitsheadasthoughitweretryingtolistentosomething。Also，asowandherfamilywerehelpingtogracethescene。First，sherootedamongaheapoflitter；then，inpassing，sheateupayoungpullet；lastly，sheproceededcarelesslytomunchsomepiecesofmelonrind。Tothissmallyardorpoultry-runalengthofplankingservedasafence，whilebeyonditlayakitchengardencontainingcabbages，onions，potatoes，beetroots，andotherhouseholdvegetables。Also，thegardencontainedafewstrayfruittreesthatwerecoveredwithnettingtoprotectthemfromthemagpiesandsparrows；flocksofwhichwereeventhenwheelinganddartingfromonespottoanother。Forthesamereasonanumberofscarecrowswithoutstretchedarmsstoodrearedonlongpoles，with，surmountingoneofthefigures，acast-offcapofthehostess"s。
Beyondthegardenagaintherestoodanumberofpeasants"huts。Thoughscattered，insteadofbeingarrangedinregularrows，theseappearedtoChichikov"seyetocomprisewell-to-doinhabitants，sinceallrottenplanksintheirroofinghadbeenreplacedwithnewones，andnoneoftheirdoorswereaskew，andsuchoftheirtiltshedsasfacedhimevincedevidenceofapresenceofasparewaggon——insomecasesalmostanewone。
[4]ARussiangeneralwho，in1812，stoutlyopposedNapoleonatthebattleofBorodino。
[5]Thelateeighteenthcentury。
“Thisladyownsbynomeansapoorvillage，“saidChichikovtohimself；whereforehedecidedthenandtheretohaveatalkwithhishostess，andtocultivatehercloseracquaintance。Accordinglyhepeepedthroughthechinkofthedoorwhenceherheadhadrecentlyprotruded，and，onseeingherseatedatateatable，enteredandgreetedherwithacheerful，kindlysmile。
“Goodmorning，dearsir，“sherespondedassherose。“Howhaveyouslept？”Shewasdressedinbetterstylethanshehadbeenonthepreviousevening。Thatistosay，shewasnowwearingagownofsomedarkcolour，andlackedhernightcap，andhadswathedherneckinsomethingstiff。
“Ihavesleptexceedinglywell，“repliedChichikov，seatinghimselfuponachair。“AndhowareYOU，goodmadam？”
“Butpoorly，mydearsir。“
“Andwhyso？”
“BecauseIcannotsleep。Apainhastakenmeinmymiddle，andmylegs，fromtheanklesupwards，areachingasthoughtheywerebroken。“
“Thatwillpass，thatwillpass，goodmother。Youmustpaynoattentiontoit。“
“GodgrantthatitMAYpass。However，Ihavebeenrubbingmyselfwithlardandturpentine。Whatsortofteawillyoutake？InthisjarIhavesomeofthescentedkind。“
“Excellent，goodmother！ThenIwilltakethat。“
Probablythereaderwillhavenoticedthat，forallhisexpressionsofsolicitude，Chichikov"stonetowardshishostesspartookofafreer，amoreunceremonious，naturethanthatwhichhehadadoptedtowardsMadamManilov。AndhereIshouldliketoassertthat，howsoevermuch，incertainrespects，weRussiansmaybesurpassedbyforeigners，atleastwesurpasstheminadroitnessofmanner。Infactthevariousshadesandsubtletiesofoursocialintercoursedefyenumeration。A
FrenchmanoraGermanwouldbeincapableofenvisagingandunderstandingallitspeculiaritiesanddifferences，forhistoneinspeakingtoamillionairediffersbutlittlefromthatwhichheemploystowardsasmalltobacconist——andthatinspiteofthecircumstancethatheisaccustomedtocringebeforetheformer。Withus，however，thingsaredifferent。InRussiansocietythereexistcleverfolkwhocanspeakinonemannertoalandownerpossessedoftwohundredpeasantsouls，andinanothertoalandownerpossessedofthreehundred，andinanothertoalandownerpossessedoffivehundred。Inshort，uptothenumberofamillionsoulstheRussianwillhavereadyforeachlandownerasuitablemodeofaddress。Forexample，supposethatsomewherethereexistsagovernmentoffice，andthatinthatofficethereexistsadirector。Iwouldbegofyoutocontemplatehimashesitsamonghismyrmidons。Sheernervousnesswillpreventyoufromutteringawordinhispresence，sogreataretheprideandsuperioritydepictedonhiscountenance。Also，wereyoutosketchhim，youwouldbesketchingaveritablePrometheus，forhisglanceisasthatofaneagle，andhewalkswithmeasured，statelystride。Yetnosoonerwilltheeaglehavelefttheroomtoseekthestudyofhissuperiorofficerthanhewillgoscurryingalong(papersheldclosetohisnose)likeanypartridge。Butinsociety，andattheeveningparty(shouldtherestofthosepresentbeoflesserrankthanhimself)thePrometheuswilloncemorebecomePrometheus，andthemanwhostandsastepbelowhimwilltreathiminawayneverdreamtofbyOvid，seeingthateachflyisoflesseraccountthanitssuperiorfly，andbecomes，inthepresenceofthelatter，evenasagrainofsand。
“SurelythatisnotIvanPetrovitch？”youwillsayofsuchandsuchamanasyouregardhim。“IvanPetrovitchistall，whereasthismanissmallandspare。IvanPetrovitchhasaloud，deepvoice，andneversmiles，whereasthisman(whoeverhemaybe)istwitteringlikeasparrow，andsmilingallthetime。“YetapproachandtakeagoodlookatthefellowandyouwillseethatisISIvanPetrovitch。“Alack，alack！”willbetheonlyremarkyoucanmake。
Letusreturntoourcharactersinreallife。Wehaveseenthat，onthisoccasion，Chichikovdecidedtodispensewithceremony；wherefore，takinguptheteapot，hewentonasfollows：
“Youhaveanicelittlevillagehere，madam。Howmanysoulsdoesitcontain？”
“Alittlelessthaneighty，dearsir。Butthetimesarehard，andI
havelostagreatdealthroughlastyear"sharvesthavingprovedafailure。“
“Butyourpeasantslookfine，strongfellows。MayIenquireyourname？
ThrougharrivingsolateatnightIhavequitelostmywits。“
“Korobotchka，thewidowofaCollegiateSecretary。“
“Ihumblythankyou。AndyourChristiannameandpatronymic？”
“NastasiaPetrovna。“
“NastasiaPetrovna！Thoseareexcellentnames。Ihaveamaternalauntnamedlikeyourself。“
“AndYOURname？”queriedthelady。“MayItakeitthatyouareaGovernmentAssessor？”
“No，madam，“repliedChichikovwithasmile。“IamnotanAssessor，butatravelleronprivatebusiness。“
“Thenyoumustbeabuyerofproduce？HowIregretthatIhavesoldmyhoneysocheaplytootherbuyers！OtherwiseYOUmighthaveboughtit，dearsir。“
“Ineverbuyhoney。“
“ThenWHATdoyoubuy，pray？Hemp？Ihavealittleofthatbyme，butnotmorethanhalfapood[6]orso。“
[6]FortyRussianpounds。
“No，madam。ItisinotherwaresthatIdeal。Tellme，haveyou，oflateyears，lostmanyofyourpeasantsbydeath？”
“Yes；nofewerthaneighteen，“respondedtheoldladywithasigh。
“Suchafinelot，too——allgoodworkers！True，othershavesincegrownup，butofwhatuseareTHEY？Merestriplings。WhentheAssessorlastcalleduponmeIcouldhavewept；for，thoughthoseworkmenofminearedead，Ihavetokeeponpayingforthemasthoughtheywerestillalive！Andonlylastweekmyblacksmithgotburnttodeath！Suchacleverhandathistradehewas！”
“What？Afireoccurredatyourplace？”
“No，no，Godpreserveusall！Itwasnotsobadasthat。YoumustunderstandthattheblacksmithSETHIMSELFonfire——hegotsetonfireinhisbowelsthroughoverdrinking。Yes，allofasuddenthereburstfromhimablueflame，andhesmoulderedandsmouldereduntilhehadturnedasblackasapieceofcharcoal！Yetwhatacleverblacksmithhewas！AndnowIhavenohorsestodriveoutwith，forthereisnoonetoshoethem。“
“IneverythingthewillofGod，madam，“saidChichikovwithasigh。
“Againstthedivinewisdomitisnotforustorebel。Prayhandthemovertome，NastasiaPetrovna。“
“Handoverwhom？”
“Thedeadpeasants。“
“ButhowcouldIdothat？”
“Quitesimply。Sellthemtome，andIwillgiveyousomemoneyinexchange。“
“ButhowamItosellthemtoyou？Iscarcelyunderstandwhatyoumean。AmItodigthemupagainfromtheground？”
Chichikovperceivedthattheoldladywasaltogetheratsea，andthathemustexplainthematter；whereforeinafewwordsheinformedherthatthetransferorpurchaseofthesoulsinquestionwouldtakeplacemerelyonpaper——thatthesaidsoulswouldbelistedasstillalive。
“Andwhatgoodwouldtheybetoyou？”askedhishostess，staringathimwithhereyesdistended。
“ThatisMYaffair。“
“ButtheyareDEADsouls。“
“Whosaidtheywerenot？Themerefactoftheirbeingdeadentailsuponyoualossasdeadasthesouls，foryouhavetocontinuepayingtaxuponthem，whereasMYplanistorelieveyoubothofthetaxandoftheresultanttrouble。NOWdoyouunderstand？AndIwillnotonlydoasIsay，butalsohandyouoverfifteenroublespersoul。Isthatclearenough？”
“Yes——butIdonotknow，“saidhishostessdiffidently。“Yousee，neverbeforehaveIsolddeadsouls。“
“Quiteso。Itwouldbeasurprisingthingifyouhad。Butsurelyyoudonotthinkthatthesedeadsoulsareintheleastworthkeeping？”
“Oh，no，indeed！Whyshouldtheybeworthkeeping？Iamsuretheyarenotso。TheonlythingwhichtroublesmeisthefactthattheyareDEAD。“
“Sheseemsatrulyobstinateoldwoman！”wasChichikov"sinwardcomment。“Lookhere，madam，“headdedaloud。“Youreasonwell，butyouaresimplyruiningyourselfbycontinuingtopaythetaxupondeadsoulsasthoughtheywerestillalive。“
“Oh，goodsir，donotspeakofit！”theladyexclaimed。“ThreeweeksagoItookahundredandfiftyroublestothatAssessor，andbutteredhimup，and——“
“Thenyouseehowitis，doyounot？Rememberthat，accordingtomyplan，youwillneveragainhavetobutteruptheAssessor，seeingthatitwillbeIwhowillbepayingforthosepeasants——_I_，notYOU，forIshallhavetakenovertheduesuponthem，andhavetransferredthemtomyselfassomanybonafideserfs。DoyouunderstandAT
LAST？”