第12章

"Forthethingswhichfrightenyou？"

"Yes。IthoughtbeinginSaintPeter’smighthelp。"

"Whatarethethingswhichfrightenyou，Rainer？""Thatthey’lldecideI’maJew，andthatmyregimentwillbesenttoRussiaafterall。"

"Isee。Nowonderyou’refrightened。Isthereindeedapossibilitythey’lldecideyou’reaJew？"

"Well，lookatme！"saidtheboysimply。"Whentheywerewritingdownmyparticularstheysaidthey’dhavetocheck。Idon’tknowiftheycanornot，butIsupposetheSistersmightknowmorethantheyevertoldme。""Iftheydo，they’llnotpassiton，"saidHisGracecomfortingly。"They’llknowwhythey’rebeingasked。"

"Doyoureallythinkso？Oh，Ihopeso！"

"DoesthethoughtofhavingJewishblooddisturbyou？""Whatmybloodisdoesn’tmatter，"saidRainer。"IwasbornaGerman，that’stheonlyimportantthing。"

"Onlytheydon’tlookatitlikethat，dothey？""No。"

"AndRussia？There’snoneedtoworryaboutRussianow，surely。You’reinRome，theoppositedirection。"

"ThismorningIheardourcommandersayingwemightbesenttoRussiaafterall。Itisn’tgoingwellthere。"

"You’reachild，"saidArchbishopRalphabruptly。"Yououghttobeinschool。"

"Iwouldn’tbenowanyway。"Theboysmiled。"I’msixteen，soI’dbeworking。"Hesighed。"Iwouldhavelikedtokeepgoingtoschool。Learningisimportant。"

ArchbishopRalphstartedtolaugh，thengotupandrefilledtheglasses。"Don’ttakeanynoticeofme，Rainer。I’mnotmakinganysense。Justthoughts，oneaftertheother。It’smyhourforthem，thoughts。I’mnotaverygoodhost，amI？"

"You’reallright，"saidtheboy。

"So，"saidHisGrace，sittingdownagain。"Defineyourself，RainerMoerlingHartheim。"

Acuriouspridesettledontheyoungface。"I’maGerman，andaCatholic。IwanttomakeGermanyaplacewhereraceandreligionwon’tmeanpersecution，andI’mgoingtodevotemylifetothatend，ifIlive。""Ishallprayforyou-thatyoulive，andsucceed。"

"Wouldyou？"askedtheboyshyly。"Wouldyoureallyprayformepersonally，byname？"

"Ofcourse。Infact，you’vetaughtmesomething。Thatinmybusinessthereisonlyoneweaponatmydisposal-prayer。Ihavenootherfunction。""Whoareyou？"askedRainer，thewinebeginningtomakehimblinkdrowsily。"I’mArchbishopRalphdeBricassart。"

"Oh！Ithoughtyouwereanordinarypriest！"

"Iamanordinarypriest。Nothingmore。"

"I’llstrikeabargainwithyou！"saidtheboy，hiseyessparkling。"Youprayforme，Father，andifIlivelongenoughtogetwhatIwant，I’llcomebacktoRometoletyouseewhatyourprayershavedone。"

Theblueeyessmiledtenderly。"Allright，it’sabargain。Andwhenyoucome，I’lltellyouwhat1thinkhappenedtomyprayers。"Hegotup。"Staythere，littlepolitician。I’llfindyousomethingtoeat。"

Theytalkeduntildawnglowedroundthedomesandcampaniles，andthewingsofpigeonswhirredoutsidethewindow。ThentheArchbishopconductedhisguestthroughthepublicroomsofthepalace，watchinghisawewithdelight，andlethimoutintothecool，freshair。Thoughhedidn’tknowit，theboywiththesplendidnamewasindeedtogotoRussia，carryingwithhimamemoryoddlysweetandreassuring:thatinRome，inOurLord’sownChurch，amanwasprayingforhimeveryday，byname。

BythetimetheNinthwasreadytobeshippedtoNewGuinea，itwasalloverbarthemoppingup。Disgruntled，themostelitedivisioninAustralianmilitaryhistorycouldonlyhopetheremightbefurtherglorytoamasssomewhereelse，chasingtheJapanesebackupthroughIndonesia。GuadalcanalhaddefeatedallJapanesehopesinthedriveforAustralia。Andyet，liketheGermans，theyyieldedbitterly，grudgingly。Thoughtheirresourceswerepitifullystretched，theirarmiesfounderingfromlackofsuppliesandreinforcements，theymadetheAmericansandtheAustralianspayforeveryinchtheygainedback。Inretreat，theJapaneseabandonedBuna，Gona，Salamaua，andslippedbackupthenorthcoast，toLaeandFinschafen。

OnthefifthofSeptember1943theNinthDivisionwaslandedfromtheseajusteastofLae。Itwashot，thehumiditywas100percent，anditrainedeveryafternoonthoughTheWetwasn’tdueforanothertwofullmonths。ThethreatofmalariameanteveryonewastakingAtabrine，andthelittleyellowtabletsmadeeveryonefeelassickasiftheyhadtheactualmalaria。Alreadytheconstantmoisturemeantpermanentlydampbootsandsocks；feetwerebecomingspongy，thefleshbetweenthetoesrawandbloody。Mockaandmosquitobitesturnedangry，ulcerated。

InPortMoresbytheyhadseenthewretchedstateoftheNewGuineanatives，andiftheycouldn’tstandtheclimatewithoutdevelopingyaws，beriberi，malaria，pneumonia，chronicskindiseases，enlargedliversandspleens，therewasn’tmuchhopeforthewhiteman。ThereweresurvivorsofKokodainPortMoresbyaswell，victimsnotsomuchoftheJapanesebutofNewGuinea，emaciated，massesofsores，deliriouswithfever。TentimesasmanyhaddiedfrompneumonianinethousandfeetupinfreezingcoldwearingthintropicalkitasdiedfromtheJapanese。Greasydankmud，unearthlyforestswhichglowedwithcoldpalespectrallightafterdarkfromphosphorescentfungi，precipitousclimbsoveragnarledtangleofexposedrootswhichmeantamancouldn’tlookupforasecondandwasasittingduckforasniper。ItwasaboutasdifferentfromNorthAfricaasanyplacecouldget，andtheNinthwasn’tabitsorryithadstayedtofightthetwoAlameinsinsteadofKokodaTrail。Laewasacoastaltownamidheavilyforestedgrasslands，farfromtheeleven-thousand-footelevationsofthedeepinterior，andfarmoresalubriousasabattlegroundthanKokoda。JustafewEuropeanhouses，apetrolpump，andacollectionofnativehuts。TheJapanesewereasevergame，butfewinnumberandimpoverished，aswornoutfromNewGuineaastheAustralianstheyhadbeenfighting，asdiseaseridden。AfterthemassiveordnanceandextrememechanizationofNorthAfricaitwasstrangenevertoseeamortarorafieldpiece；justOwengunsandrifles，withbayonetsinplaceallthetime。JimsandPatsylikedhand-to-handfighting，theylikedtogoinclosetogether，guardeachother。ItwasaterriblecomedownaftertheAfrikaKorps，though，therewasnodoubtaboutit。Pint-sizeyellowmenwhoallseemedtowearglassesandhavebuckteeth。Theyhadabsolutelynomartialpanache。

TwoweeksaftertheNinthlandedatLae，therewerenomoreJapanese。Itwas，forspringinNewGuinea，averybeautifulday。Thehumidityhaddroppedtwentypoints，thesunshoneoutofaskysuddenlyblueinsteadofsteamilywhite，thewatershedrearedgreen，purpleandlilacbeyondthetown。Disciplinehadrelaxed，everyoneseemedtobetakingthedayofftoplaycricket，walkaround，teasethenativestomakethemlaughanddisplaytheirblood-red，toothlessgums，theresultofchewingbetelnut。JimsandPatsywerestrollingthroughthetallgrassbeyondthetown，foritremindedthemofDrogheda；itwasthesamebleached，tawnycolor，andlongthewayDroghedagrasswasafteraseasonofheavyrain。

"Won’tbelongnowuntilwe’reback，Patsy，"saidJims。"We’vegottheNipsontherun，andJerry，too。Home，Patsy，hometoDrogheda！Icanhardlywait。"

"Yair，"saidPatsy。

Theywalkedshouldertoshoulder，muchcloserthanwaspermissiblebetweenordinarymen；theywouldtoucheachothersometimes，notconsciouslybutasamantoucheshisownbody，torelieveamilditchorabsentlyassurehimselfitisstillallthere。HowniceitwastofeelgenuinelysunnysunontheirfacesinsteadofamoltenballinaTurkishbath！Everysooftentheywouldlifttheirmuzzlestothesky，flaretheirnostrilstotakeinthescentofhotlightonDrogheda-likegrass，dreamalittlethattheywerebackthere，walkingtowardawilgainthedazeofnoontoliedownthroughtheworstofit，readabook，drowse。Rollover，feelthefriendly，beautifulearththroughtheirskins，senseamightyheartbeatingawaydownundersomewhere，likeamother’shearttoasleepybaby。

"Jims！Look！AdinkumDroghedabudgie！"saidPatsy，shockedintospeaking。PerhapsbudgerigarswerenativesoftheLaecountry，too，butthemoodofthedayandthisquiteunexpectedreminderofhomesuddenlytriggeredawildelationinPatsy。Laughing，feelingthegrassticklinghisbarelegs，hetookoffafterit，snatchinghisbatteredslouchhatfromhisheadandholdingitoutasifhetrulybelievedhecouldsnarethevanishingbird。Smiling，Jimsstoodwatchinghim。

Hewasperhapstwentyyardsawaywhenthemachinegunrippedthegrasstoflyingshredsaroundhim；Jimssawhisarmsgoup，hisbodyspinroundsothatthearmsseemedstretchedoutinsupplication。Fromwaisttokneeshewasbrilliantblood，life’sblood。

"Patsy，Patsy！"Jimsscreamed；ineverycellofhisownbodyhefelt。thebullets，felthimselfebbing，dying。

Hislegsopenedinahugestride，hegainedmomentumtorun，thenhismilitarycautionasserteditselfandhedivedheadlongintothegrassjustasthemachinegunopenedupagain。

"Patsy，Patsy，areyouallright？"hecriedstupidly，havingseenthatblood。

Yetincredibly，"Yair，"cameafaintanswer。

InchbyinchJimsdraggedhimselfforwardthroughthefragrantgrass，listeningtothewind，therustlingsofhisownprogress。Whenhereachedhisbrotherheputhisheadagainstthenakedshoulder，andwept。

"Breakitdown，"saidPatsy。"I’mnotdeadyet。"

"Howbadisit？"Jimsasked，pullingdownthebloodsoakedshortstoseeblood-soakedflesh，shivering。

"Doesn’tfeelasifI’mgoingtodie，anyway。"

Menhadappearedallaroundthem，thecricketersstillwearingtheirlegpadsandgloves；someonewentbackforastretcherwhiletherestproceededtosilencethegunatthefarsideoftheclearing。Thedeedwasdonewithmorethanusualruthlessness，foreveryonewasfondofHarpo。Ifanythinghappenedtohim，Jimswouldneverbethesame。

Abeautifulday；thebudgerigarhadlonggone，butotherbirdstrilledandtwitteredfearlessly，silencedonlyduringtheactualbattle。"Patsy’sbloodylucky，"saidthemedictoJimssometimelater。"Theremustbeadozenbulletsinhim，butmostofthemhitthethighs。Thetwoorthreehigherupseemtohaveembeddedthemselvesinpelvicboneormuscle。AsfarasIcanjudge，hisgut’sinonepiece，soishisbladder。Theonlythingis……"

"Well，what？"Jimspromptedimpatiently；hewasstillshaking，andbluearoundthemouth。

"Difficulttosayanythingforcertainatthisstage，ofcourse，andI’mnotageniussurgeonlikesomeoftheblokesinMoresby。They’llbeabletotellyoualotmore。Buttheurethrahasbeendamaged，sohavemanyofthetinylittlenervesintheperineum。I’mprettysurehecanbepatchedupasgoodasnew，exceptmaybeforthenerves。Nervesdon’tpatchuptoowell，unfortunately。"Heclearedhisthroat。"WhatI’mtryingtosayisL%-"caretmightneverhavemuchsensationinthegenitalregion。"Jimsuroppedhishead，lookedatthegroundthroughacrystalwalloftears。"Atleasthe’salive，"hesaid。

HewasgrantedleavetoflytoPortMoresbywithhisbrother，andtostayuntilPatsywaspronouncedoutofdanger。Theinjurieswerelittleshortofmiraculous。Bulletshadscatteredallaroundthelowerabdomenwithoutpenetratingit。ButtheNinthmedichadbeenright；lowerpelvicsensationwasbadlyimpaired。Howmuchhemightregainlateronnoonewaspreparedtosay。

"Itdoesn’tmuchmatter，"saidPatsyfromthestretcheronwhichhewastobeflowntoSydney。"Iwasnevertookeenonmarrying，anyway。Now，youlookafteryourself，Jims，doyouhear？Ihateleavingyou。"

"I’lllookaftermyself，Patsy。Christ！"Jimsgrinned，holdinghardontohisbrother’shand。"Fancyhavingtospendthis。restofthewarwithoutmybestmate。I’llwritean。Itellyouwhatit’slike。SayhellotoMrs。SmithandMeggieandMumandthebrothersforme，eh？Halfyourluck，goinghometoDrogheda。"

Feean。Mrs。SmithflewdowntoSydneytomeettheAmericasplane。whichbroughtPatsyfromTownsville；Feeremainedonlyafewdays，butMrs。SmithstayedoninaRandwickhotelclosetothePrinceofWalesmilitaryhospital。Patsyremainedthereforthreemonths。Hispartinthewarwasover。ManytearshadMrs。Smithshed；buttherewasmuchtobethankfulfor，too。Inonewayhewouldneverbeabletoleadafulllife，buthecoulddoeverythingelse:ride，walk，run。Matingdidn’tseemtobeintheClearyline，anyway。WhenhewasdischargedfromhospitalMeggiedrovedownfromGillyintheRolls，andthetwowomentuckedhimuponthebackseatamidblanketsandmagazines，prayingforonemoreboon:thatJimswouldcomehome，too。

NotuntiltheEmperorHirohito’sdelegatesignedJapan’sofficialsurrenderdidGillanbonebelievethewarwasfinallyover。ThenewscameonSunday，September2，1945，whichwasexactlysixyearsafterthestart。Sixagonizingyears。Somanyplacesempty，nevertobefilledagain:DominicO’Rourke’ssonRory，HorryHopeton’ssonJohn，EdenCarmichael’ssonCormac。RossMacQueen’syoungestson，Angus，wouldneverwalkagain，AnthonyKing’ssonDavidwouldwalkbutneverseewherehewasgoing，PaddyCleary’ssonPatsywouldneverhavechildren。Andtherewerethosewhosewoundsweren’tvisible，butwhosescarswentjustasdeep；whohadgoneoffgaily，eagerandlaughing，butcamehomequietly，saidlittle，andlaughedonlyrarely。Whocouldhavedreamedwhenitbeganthatitwouldgoonsolong，ortakesuchatoll？Gillanbonewasnotaparticularlysuperstitiouscommunity，buteventhemostcynicalresidentshiveredthatSunday，September2nd。Foronthesamedaythatthewarended，sodidthelongestdroughtinthehistoryofAustralia。Fornearlytenyearsnousefulrainhadfallen，butthatdaythecloudsfilledtheskythousandsoffeetdeep，blackly，crackedthemselvesopenandpouredtwelveinchesofrainonthethirstyearth。Aninchofrainmaynotmeanthebreakingofadrought，itmightnotbefollowedbyanythingmore，buttwelveinchesofrainmeansgrass。Meggie，Fee，Bob，Jack，HughieandPatsystoodontheverandawatchingitthroughthedarkness，sniffingtheunbearablysweetperfumeofrainonparchedandcrumblingsoil。Horses，sheep，cattleandpigsspraddledtheirlegsagainsttheshiftingofthemeltinggroundandletthewaterpourovertheirtwitchingbodies；mostofthemhadbeenbornsincerainlikethishadlastpassedacrosstheirworld。Inthecemeterytherainwashedthedustaway，whitenedeverything，washedthedustofftheoutstretchedwingsoftheblandBotticelliangel。Thecreekproducedatidalwave，itsroaringfloodminglingwiththedrummingofthesoakingrain。Rain，rain！Rain。Likeabenedictionfromsomevastinscrutablehand，longwithheld，finallygiven。Theblessed，wonderfulrain。Forrainmeantgrass，andgrasswaslife。Apale-greenfuzzappeared，pokeditslittlebladesskyward，ramified，burgeoned，grewadarkergreenasitlengthened，thenfadedandwaxedfat，becamethesilver-beige，knee-highgrassofDrogheda。TheHomePaddocklookedlikeafieldofwheat，ripplingwitheverymischievouspuffofwind，andthehomesteadgardensexplodedintocolor，greatbudsunfurling，theghostgumssuddenlywhiteandlime-greenagainafternineyearsofgrimingdust。ForthoughMichaelCarson’sinsaneproliferationofwatertanksstillheldenoughtokeepthehomesteadgardensalive，dusthadlongsettledoneveryleafandpetal，dimmedanddrabbed。Andanoldlegendhadbeenprovenfact:Droghedadidindeedhavesufficientwatertosurvivetenyearsofdrought，butonlyforthehomestead。

Bob，Jack，HughieandPatsywentbacktothepaddocks，beganseeinghowbesttorestock；Feeopenedabrand-newbottleofblackinkandsavagelyscrewedtheliddownonherbottleofredink；Meggiesawanendcomingtoherlifeinthesaddle，foritwouldnotbelongbeforeJimswashomeandmenturneduplookingforjobs。Afternineyearstherewereveryfewsheeporcattleleft，onlytheprizebreederswhichwerealwayspennedandhand-fedinanytime，thenucleusofchampionstock，ramsandbulls。BobwenteasttothetopoftheWesternslopestobuyewesofgoodbloodlinefrompropertiesnotsohardhitbythedrought。Jimscamehome。EightstockmenwereaddedtotheDroghedapayroll。Meggiehunguphersaddle。

ItwasnotlongafterthisthatMeggiegotaletterfromLuke，thesecondsinceshehadlefthim。

"Notlongnow，Ireckon，"hesaid。"Afewmoreyearsinthesugarshouldseemethrough。Theoldback’sabitsorethesedays，butIcanstillcutwiththebestofthem，eightorninetonsaday。ArneandIhavetwelveothergangscuttingforus，allgoodblokes。Money’sgettingveryloose，Europewantssugarasfastaswecanproduceit。I’mmakingoverfivethousandquidayear，savingalmostallofit。Won’tbelongnow，Meg，beforeI’moutaroundKynuna。MaybewhenIgetthingstogetheryoumightwanttocomebacktome。DidIgiveyouthekidyouwanted？Funny，howwomengettheirheartssetonkids。Ireckonthat’swhatreallybrokeusup，eh？Letmeknowhowyou’regettingon，andhowDroghedaweatheredthedrought。Yours，Luke。"Feecameoutontotheveranda，whereMeggiesatwiththeletterinherhand，staringabsentlyoutacrossthebrilliantgreenofthehomesteadlawns。"How’sLuke？"

"Thesameasever，Mum。Notabitchanged。Stillonaboutalittlewhilelongerinthedamnedsugar，theplacehe’sgoingtohaveonedayoutaroundKynuna。"

"Doyouthinkhe’lleveractuallydoit？"

"Isupposeso，oneday。"

"Wouldyougotojoinhim，Meggie？"

"Notinamillionyears。"

Feesatdowninacanechairbesideherdaughter，pullingitroundsoshecouldseeMeggieproperly。Inthedistancemenwereshouting，hammerspounded；atlonglasttheverandasandtheupper-storywindowsofthehomesteadwerebeingenclosedbyfinewiremeshtoscreenouttheflies。ForyearsFeehadheldout，obdurate。Nomatterhowmanyfliestherewere，thelinesofthehousewouldneverbespoiledbyuglynetting。Butthelongerthedroughtdraggedontheworsethefliesbecame，untiltwoweeksbeforeitendedFeehadgiveninandhiredacontractortoencloseeverybuildingonthestation，notonlythehomesteaditselfbutallthestaffhousesandbarracksaswell。

Butelectrifyshewouldnot，thoughsince1915therehadbeena"donk，"astheshearerscalledit，tosupplypowertotheshearingshed。Droghedawithoutthegentlediffusionoflamps？Itwasn’ttobethoughtof。However，therewasoneofthenewgasstoveswhichburnedoffcylinderedgasonorder，andadozenofthenewkerosenerefrigerators；Australianindustrywasn’tyetonapeacetimefooting，buteventuallythenewapplianceswouldcome。"Meggie，whydon’tyoudivorceLuke，marryagain？"Feeaskedsuddenly。"EnochDavieswouldhaveyouinasecond；he’sneverlookedatanyoneelse。"Meggie’slovelyeyessurveyedhermotherinwonder。"GoodLord，Mum，Idobelieveyou’reactuallytalkingtomeasonewomantoanother！"Feedidn’tsmile；Feestillrarelysmiled。"Well，ifyouaren’tawomanbynow，you’llneverbeone。I’dsayyouqualified。Imustbegettingold；Ifeelgarrulous。"

Meggielaughed，delightedathermother’soverture，andanxiousnottodestroythisnewmood。"It’stherain，Mum。Itmustbe。Oh，isn’titwonderfultoseegrassonDroghedaagain，andgreenlawnsaroundthehomestead？"

"Yes，itis。Butyou’reside-steppingmyquestion。WhynotdivorceLuke，marryagain？"

"It’sagainstthelawsoftheChurch。"

"Piffle！"exclaimedFee，butgently。"Halfofyouisme，andI’mnotaCatholic。Don’tgivemethat，Meggie。Ifyoureallywantedtomarry，you’ddivorceLuke。"

"Yes，IsupposeIwould。ButIdon’twanttomarryagain。I’mquitehappywithmychildrenandDrogheda。"

Achuckleverylikeherownechoedfromtheinteriorofthebottle-brushshrubberynearby，itsdroopingscarletcylindershidingtheauthorofthechuckle。

"Listen！Thereheis，that’sDane！DoyouknowathisagehecansitahorseaswellasIcan？"Sheleanedforward。"Dane！Whatareyouupto？Comeoutoftherethisinstant！"

Hecrawledoutfromundertheclosestbottlebrush，hishandsfullofblackearth，suspiciousblacksmearsallaroundhismouth。"Mum！Didyouknowsoiltastesgood？Itreallydoes，Mum，honestly！"Hecametostandinfrontofher；atsevenhewastall，slender，gracefullystrong，andhadafaceofdelicateporcelainbeauty。Justineappeared，cametostandbesidehim。Shetoowastall，butskinnyratherthanslender，andatrociouslyfreckled。Itwashardtoseewhatherfeatureswerelikebeneaththebrownspots，butthoseunnervingeyeswereaspaleastheyhadbeenininfancy，andthesandybrowsandlashesweretoo-fairtoemergefromthefreckles。Paddy’sfiercelyredtressesriotedinamassofcurlsaroundherratherpixyishface。Noonecouldhavecalledheraprettychild，butnooneeverforgother，notmerelyonaccountoftheeyesbutalsobecauseshehadremarkablestrengthofcharacter。Astringent，forth-rightanduncompromisinglyintelligent，Justineateightcaredaslittlewhatanyonethoughtofherasshehadwhenababy。Onlyonepersonwasveryclosetoher:Dane。Shestilladoredhim，andstillregardedhimasherownproperty。

Whichhadledtomanyatussleofwillsbetweenherandhermother。IthadbeenarudeshocktoJustinewhenMeggiehunguphersaddleandgotbacktobeingamother。Foronething，Justinedidn’tseemtoneedamother，sinceshewasconvincedshewasrightabouteverything。Norwasshethesortoflittlegirlwhorequiredaconfidante，orwarmapproval。Asfarasshewasconcerned，MeggiewasmostlysomeonewhointerferedwithherpleasureinDane。Shegotonalotbetterwithhergrandmother，whowasjustthesortofpersonJustineheartilyapprovedof；shekeptherdistanceandassumedonehadalittlesense。

"Itoldhimnottoeatdirt，"Justinesaid。

"Well，itwon’tkillhim，Justine，butitisn’tgoodforhim，either。"Meggieturnedtoherson。"Dane，why？"

Heconsideredthequestiongravely。"Itwasthere，soIateit。Ifitwasbadforme，wouldn’tittastebad，too？Ittastesgood。"

"Notnecessarily，"Justineinterruptedloftily。"Igiveuponyou，Dane，Ireallydo。Someofthebest-tastingthingsarethemostpoisonous。""Nameone！"hechallenged。

"Treacle！"shesaidtriumphantly。

DanehadbeenveryillafterfindingatinoftreacleinMrs。Smith’spantryandeatingthelot。Headmittedthethrust，butcountered。"I’mstillhere，soitcan’tbeallthatpoisonous。"

"That’sonlybecauseyouvomited。Ifyouhadn’tvomited，you’dbedead。"Thiswasinarguable。Heandhissisterweremuchofaheight，sohetuckedhisarmcompanionablythroughhersandtheysaunteredawayacrossthelawntowardtheircubbyhouse，whichtheiruncleshaderectedasinstructedamidthedown-droopingbranchesofapeppertree。Dangerfrombeeshadledtomuchadultoppositiontothissite，butthechildrenwereprovenright。Thebeesdwelledwiththemamicably。For，saidthechildren，peppertreeswerethenicestofalltrees，veryprivate。Theyhadsuchadry，fragrantsmell，andthegrapelikeclustersoftinypinkglobulestheyborecrumbledintocrisp，pungentpinkflakeswhencrushedinthehand。

"They’resodifferentfromeachother，DaneandJustine，yettheygetalongsowelltogether，"saidMeggie。"Itneverceasestoamazeme。Idon’tthinkI’veeverseenthemquarrel，thoughhowDaneavoidsquarrelingwithsomeoneasdeterminedandstubbornasJustine，Idon’tunderstand。"

ButFeehadsomethingelseonhermind。"Lord，he’sthelivingimageofhisfather，"shesaid，watchingDaneduckunderthelowestfrondsofthepeppertreeanddisappearfromsight。

Meggiefeltherselfgocold，areflexresponsewhichyearsofhearingpeoplesaythishadnotscotched。Itwasjustherownguilt，ofcourse。PeoplealwaysmeantLuke。Whynot？TherewerebasicsimilaritiesbetweenLukeO’neillandRalphdeBricassart。Buttryasshewould，shecouldneverbequitenaturalwhenDane’slikenesstohisfatherwascommentedupon。Shedrewacarefullycasualbreath。"Doyouthinkso，Mum？"sheasked，nonchalantlyswingingherfoot。"Icanneverseeitmyself。DaneisnothinglikeLukeinnatureorattitudetolife。"

Feelaughed。Itcameoutasasnort，butitwasagenuinelaugh。Grownpallidwithageandencroachingcataracts，hereyesrestedonMeggie’sstartledface，grimandironic。"Doyoutakemeforafool，Meggie？Idon’tmeanLukeO’neill。ImeanDaneisthelivingimageofRalphdeBricassart。"Lead。Herfootwasmadeoflead。ItdroppedtotheSpanishtiles，herleadenbodysagged，theleadheartwithinherbreaststruggledagainstitsvastweighttobeat。Beat，damnyou，beat！You’vegottogoonbeatingformyson！

"Why，Mum！"Hervoicewasleaden，too。"Why，Mum，whatanextraordinarythingtosay！FatherRalphdeBricassart？"

"Howmanypeopleofthatnamedoyouknow？LukeO’neillneverbredthatboy；he’sRalphdeBricassart’sson。IknewittheminuteItookhimoutofyouathisbirth。"

"Then-whyhaven’tyousaidsomething？Whywaituntilhe’ssevenyearsoldtomakesuchaninsaneandunfoundedaccusation？"Feestretchedherlegsout，crossedthemdaintilyattheankles。"I’mgettingoldatlast，Meggie。Andthingsdon’thurtasmuchanymore。Whatablessingoldagecanbe！It’ssogoodtoseeDroghedacomingback，Ifeelbetterwithinmyselfbecauseofit。ForthefirsttimeinyearsIfeelliketalking。"

"Well，Imustsaywhenyoudecidetotalkyoureallyknowhowtopickyoursubject！Mum，youhaveabsolutelynorighttosaysuchathing:Itisn’ttrue！"saidMeggiedesperately，notsureifhermotherwasbentontortureorcommiseration。

SuddenlyFee’shandcameout，restedonMeggie’sknee，andshewassmiling-notbitterlyorcontemptuously，butwithacurioussympathy。"Don’tlietome，Meggie。Lietoanyoneelseunderthesun，butdon’tlietome。NothingwilleverconvincemeLukeO’neillfatheredthatboy。I’mnotafool，Ihaveeyes。There’snoLukeinhim，thereneverwasbecausetherecouldn’tbe。He’stheimageofthepriest。Lookathishands，thewayhishairgrowsinawidow’speak，theshapeofhisface，theeyebrows，themouth。Evenhowhemoves。RalphdeBricassart，Meggie，RalphdeBricassart。"

Meggiegavein，theenormityofherreliefshowinginthewayshesat，looselynow，relaxed。"Thedistanceinhiseyes。That’swhatInoticemyselfmostofall。Isitsoobvious？Doeseveryoneknow，Mum？""Ofcoursenot，"saidFeepositively。"Peopledon’tlookanyfurtherthanthecoloroftheeyes，theshapeofthenose，thegeneralbuild。LikeenoughtoLuke’s。IknewbecauseI’dbeenwatchingyouandRalphdeBricassartforyears。Allhehadtodowascrookhislittlefingerandyou’dhavegonerunning，soafigforyour"it’sagainstthelawsoftheChurch"whenitcomestodivorce。YouwerepantingtobreakafarmoreseriouslawoftheChurchthantheoneaboutdivorce。Shameless，Meggie，that’swhatyouwere。Shameless！"Ahintofhardnesscreptintohervoice。"Buthewasastubbornman。Hisheartwassetonbeingaperfectpriest；youcameaverybadsecond。Oh，idiocy！Itdidn’tdohimanygood，didit？Itwasonlyamatteroftimebeforesomethinghappened。"Aroundthecorneroftheverandasomeonedroppedahammer，andletflywithastringofcurses；Feewinced，shuddered。"Dearheaven，I’llbegladwhenthey’redonewiththescreening！"Shegotbacktothesubject。"Didyouthinkyoufooledmewhenyouwouldn’thaveRalphdeBricassarttomarryyoutoLuke？1knew。Youwantedhimasthebridegroom，notastheofficiatingcleric。ThenwhenhecametoDroghedabeforeheleftforAthensandyouweren’there，Iknewsoonerorlaterhe’dhavetogoandfindyou。HewanderedaroundtheplaceaslostasalittleboyattheSydneyRoyalEasterShow。MarryingLukewasthesmartestmoveyoumade，Meggie。AslongasheknewyouwerepiningforhimRalphdidn’twantyou，buttheminuteyoubecamesomebodyelse’sheexhibitedalltheclassicalsignsofthedoginthemanger。Ofcoursehe’dconvincedhimselfthathisattachmenttoyouwasaspureasthedrivensnow，butthefactremainedthatheneededyou。Youwerenecessarytohiminawaynootherwomaneverhadbeen，orIsuspecteverwillbe。Strange，"saidFeewithrealpuzzlement。"Ialwayswonderedwhatonearthhesawinyou，butIsupposemothersarealwaysalittleblindabouttheirdaughtersuntilthey’retoooldtobejealousofyouth。YouareaboutJustine，thesameasIwasaboutyou。"

Sheleanedbackinherchair，rockingslightly，hereyeshalfclosed，butshewatchedMeggielikeascientisthisspecimen。

"Whateveritwashesawinyou，"shewenton，"hesawitthefirsttimehemetyou，anditneverleftoffenchantinghim。Thehardestthinghehadtofacewasyourgrowingup，buthefaceditthattimehecametofindyougone，married。PoorRalph！Hehadnochoicebuttolookforyou。Andhedidfindyou，didn’the？Iknewitwhenyoucamehome，beforeDanewasborn。OnceyouhadRalphdeBricassartitwasn’tnecessarytostayanylongerwithLuke。""Yes，"sighedMeggie，"Ralphfoundme。Butitdidn’tsolveanythingforus，didit？IknewhewouldneverbewillingtogiveuphisGod。ItwasforthatreasonIwasdeterminedtohavetheonlypartofhimIevercould。Hischild。Dane。"

"It’slikelisteningtoanecho，"Feesaid，laughingherrustylaugh。"Youmightbeme，sayingthat。"

"Frank？"

Thechairscraped；Feegotup，pacedthetiles，camebackandstaredhardatherdaughter。"Well，well！Titfortat，eh，Meggie？Howlonghaveyouknown？"

"SinceIwasalittlegirl。SincethetimeFrankranaway。"

"Hisfatherwasmarriedalready。Hewasalotolderthanme，animportantpolitician。IfItoldyouhisname，you’drecognizeit。TherearestreetsnamedforhimalloverNewZealand，atownortwoprobably。Butforthepurpose，I’llcallhimPakeha。It’sMaorifor"whiteman，"butit’lldo。He’sdeadnow，ofcourse。IhaveatraceofMaoribloodinme，butFrank’sfatherwashalfMaori。ItshowedinFrankbecausehegotitfrombothofus。Oh，butIlovedthatman！Perhapsitwasthecallofourblood，Idon’tknow。Hewashandsome。Abigmanwithamopofblackhairandthemostbrilliant，laughingblackeyes。HewaseverythingPaddywasn’tcultured，sophisticated，verycharming。Ilovedhimtothepointofmadness。AndIthoughtI’dneverloveanyoneelse；IwallowedinthatdelusionsolongIleftittoolate，toolate！"Hervoicebroke。Sheturnedtolookatthegarden。"Ihavealottoanswerfor，Meggie，believeme。""Sothat’swhyyoulovedFrankmorethantherestofus，"Meggiesaid。"IthoughtIdid，becausehewasPakeha’ssonandtherestbelongedtoPaddy，"Shesatdown，madeaqueer，mournfulnoise。"Sohistorydoesrepeatitself。IhadaquietlaughwhenIsawDane，Itellyou。"

"Mum，you’reanextraordinarywoman！"

"AmI？"Thechaircreaked；sheleanedforward。"Letmewhisperyoualittlesecret，Meggie。Extraordinaryormerelyordinary，I’maveryunhappywoman。ForonereasonoranotherI’vebeenunhappysincethedayImetPakeha。Mostlymyownfault。Ilovedhim，butwhathedidtomeshouldn’thappentoanywoman。AndtherewasFrank……IkepthangingontoFrank，andignoringtherestofyou。IgnoringPaddy，whowasthebestthingeverhappenedtome。OnlyIdidn’tseeit。IwastoobusycomparinghimwithPakeha。Oh，Iwasgratefultohim，andIcouldn’thelpbutseewhatafinemanhewas……"Sheshrugged。"Well，allthat’spast。WhatIwantedtosaywasthatit’swrong，Meggie。Youknowthat，don’tyou？"

"No，Idon’t。ThewayIseeit，theChurchiswrong，expectingtotakethatfromherpriestsaswell。"

"Funny，howwealwaysinfertheChurchisfeminine。Youstoleawoman’sman，Meggie，justasIdid。"

"Ralphhadabsolutelynoallegiancetoanywoman，excepttome。TheChurchisn’tawoman，Mum。It’sathing，aninstitution。"

"Don’tbothertryingtojustifyyourselftome。Iknowalltheanswers。Ithoughtasyoudomyself，atthetime。Divorcewasoutofthequestionforhim。Hewasoneofthefirstpeopleofhisracetoattainpoliticalgreatness；hehadtochoosebetweenmeandhispeople。Whatmancouldresistachancelikethattobenoble？JustasyourRalphchosetheChurch，didn’the？SoIthought，

Idon’tcare。I’lltakewhatIcangetofhim，I’llhavehischildtoloveatleast。"

ButsuddenlyMeggiewastoobusyhatinghermothertobeabletopityher，toobusyresentingtheinferencethatsheherselfhadmadejustasbigamessofthings。Soshesaid，"ExceptthatIfaroutdidyouinsubtlety，Mum。Mysonhasanamenoonecantakefromhim，evenincludingLuke。"Fee’sbreathhissedbetweenherteeth。"Nasty！Oh，you’redeceptive，Meggie！Butterwouldn’tmeltinyourmouth，wouldit？Well，myfatherboughtmyhusbandtogiveFrankanameandgetridofme:I’llbetyouneverknewthat！Howdidyouknow？"

"That’smybusiness。"

"You’regoingtopay，Meggie。Believeme，you’regoingtopay。Youwon’tgetawaywithitanymorethanIdid。IlostFrankintheworstwayamothercould；Ican’tevenseehimandIlongto……Youwait！You’llloseDane，too。"

"NotifIcanhelpit。YoulostFrankbecausehecouldn’tpullintandemwithDaddy。ImadesureDanehadnodaddytoharnesshim。I’llharnesshiminstead，toDrogheda。WhydoyouthinkI’mmakingastockmanoutofhimalready？He’llbesafeonDrogheda。"

"WasDaddy？WasStuart？Nowhereissafe。Andyouwon’tkeepDanehereifhewantstogo。Daddydidn’tharnessFrank。Thatwasit。Frankcouldn’tbeharnessed。Andifyouthinkyou，awoman，canharnessRalphdeBricassart’sson，you’vegotanotherthinkcoming。Itstandstoreason，doesn’tit？Ifneitherofuscouldholdthefather，howcanwehopetoholdtheson？""TheonlywayIcanloseDaneisifyouopenyourmouth，Mum。AndI’mwarningyou，I’dkillyoufirst。"

"Don’tbother，I’mnotworthswingingfor。Yoursecret’ssafewithme；I’mjustaninterestedonlooker。Yesindeed，that’sallIam。Anonlooker。""Oh，Mum！Whatcouldpossiblyhavemadeyoulikethis？Whylikethis，sounwillingtogive？"

Feesighed。"Eventswhichtookplaceyearsbeforeyouwereevenborn，"shesaidpathetically。

ButMeggieshookherfistvehemently。"Oh，no，youdon’t！Afterwhatyou’vejusttoldme？You’renotgoingtogetawaywithfloggingthatdeadhorsetomeeveragain！Rubbish，rubbish，rubbish！Doyouhearme，Mum？You’vewallowedinitformostofyourlife，likeaflyinsyrup！"Feesmiledbroadly，genuinelypleased。"Iusedtothinkhavingadaughterwasn’tnearlyasimportantashavingsons，butIwaswrong。Ienjoyyou，Meggie，inawayIcanneverenjoymysons。Adaughter’sanequal。Sonsaren’t，youknow。They’rejustdefenselessdollswesetuptoknockdownatourleisure。"

Meggiestared。"You’reremorseless。Tellme，then，wheredowegowrong？""Inbeingborn，"saidFee。

Menwerereturninghomeinthousandsuponthousands，sheddingtheirkhakiuniformsandslouchhatsforcivvies。AndtheLaborgovernment，stillinoffice，tookalong，hardlookatthegreatpropertiesofthewesternplains，someofthebiggerstationscloserin。Itwasn’trightthatsomuchlandshouldbelongtoonefamily，whenmenwhohaddonetheirbitforAustralianeededroomfortheirbelongingsandthecountryneededmoreintensiveworkingofitsland。SixmillionpeopletofillanareaasbigastheUnitedStatesofAmerica，butamerehandfulofthosesixmillionholdingvasttractsinahandfulofnames。Thebiggestpropertieswouldhavetobesubdivided，yieldupsomeoftheiracreagestothewarveterans。Bugelawentfrom150，000acresto70，000；tworeturnedsoldiersgot40，000acreseachoffMartinKing。RudnaHunishhad120，000acres，thereforeRossMacQueenlost60，000acresandtwomorereturnedsoldierswereendowed。Soitwent。Ofcoursethegovernmentcompensatedthegraziers，thoughatlowerfiguresthantheopenmarketwouldhavegiven。Andithurt。Oh，ithurt。NoamountofargumentprevailedwithCanberra；propertiesaslargeasBugelaandRudnaHunishwouldbepartitioned。Itwasself-evidentnomanneededsomuch，sincetheGillydistricthadmanythrivingstationsoflessthan50，000acres。Whathurtthemostwastheknowledgethatthistimeitseemedthereturnedsoldierswouldpersevere。AftertheFirstWorldWarmostofthebigstationshadgonethroughthesamepartialresumption，butithadbeenpoorlydone，thefledglinggrazierswithouttrainingorexperience；graduallythesquattersboughttheirfilchedacresbackatrock-bottompricesfromdiscouragedveterans。Thistimethegovernmentwaspreparedtotrainandeducatethenewsettlersatitsownexpense。

AlmostallthesquatterswereavidmembersoftheCountryParty，andonprincipleloathedaLaborgovernment，identifyingitwithblue-collarworkersinindustrialcities，tradeunionsandfecklessMarxistintellectuals。TheunkindestcutofallwastofindthattheClearys，whowereknownLaborvoters，werenottoseeasingleacreparedfromtheformidablebulkofDrogheda。SincetheCatholicChurchownedit，naturallyitwassubdivision-exempt。ThehowlwasheardinCanberra，butignored。Itcameveryhardtothesquatters，whoalwaysthoughtofthemselvesasthemostpowerfullobbygroupinthenation，tofindthathewhowieldstheCanberrawhipdoesprettymuchashelikes。Australiawasheavilyfederal，itsstategovernmentsvirtuallypowerless。

Thus，likeagiantinaLilliputianworld，Droghedacarriedon，allquarterofamillionacresofit。

Theraincameandwent，sometimesadequate，sometimestoomuch，sometimestoolittle，butnot，thankGod，everanotherdroughtlikethegreatone。Graduallythenumberofsheepbuiltupandthequalityofthewoolimprovedoverpre-droughttimes，nomeanfeat。

Breedingwasthe"in"thing。PeopletalkedofHaddonRignearWarren，startedactivelycompetingwithitsowner，MaxFalkiner，forthetopramandeweprizesattheRoyalEasterShowinSydney。Andthepriceofwoolbegantocreepup，thenskyrocketed。Europe，theUnitedStatesandJapanwerehungryforeverybitoffinewoolAustralia。couldproduce。Othercountriesyieldedcoarserwoolsforheavyfabrics，carpets，felts；butonlythelong，silkyfibersfromAustralianmerinoscouldmakeawoolentextilesofineitslippedthroughthefingerslikesoftestlawn。Andthatsortofwoolreacheditspeakoutontheblack-soilplainsofnorthwestNewSouthWalesandsouthwestQueensland。

Itwasasifafteralltheyearsoftribulation，ajustrewardhadarrived。Drogheda’sprofitssoaredoutofallimagination。Millionsofpoundseveryyear。Feesatatherdeskradiatingcontentment，Bobputanothertwostockmenonthebooks。Ifithadn’tbeenfortherabbits，pastoralconditionswouldhavebeenideal，buttherabbitswereasmuchofablightasever。Onthehomesteadlifewassuddenlyverypleasant。ThewirescreeninghadexcludedfliesfromallDroghedainteriors；nowthatitwasupandeveryonehadgrownusedtoitsappearance，theywonderedhowtheyhadeversurvivedwithoutit。Forthereweremultiplecompensationsforthelookofit，likebeingabletoeatalfrescoontheverandawhenitwasveryhot，underthetappingleavesofthewistariavine。

Thefrogslovedthescreening，too。Littlefellowstheywere，greenwithadelicateoverlayofglossygold。Onsuckeredfeettheycreptuptheoutsideofthemeshtostaremotionlessatthediners，verysolemnanddignified。Suddenlyonewouldleap，grabatamothalmostbiggerthanitself，andsettlebackintoinertiawithtwo-thirdsofthemothflappingmadlyoutofitsoverladenmouth。ItamusedDaneandJustinetotimehowlongittookafrogtoswallowabigmothcompletely，staringgravelythroughthewireandeverytenminutesgettingalittlemoremothdown。Theinsectlastedalongtime，andwouldoftenstillbekickingwhenthefinalpieceofwingtipwasengulfed。"Erckle！Whatafate！"chuckledDane。"Fancyhalfofyoustillbeingalivewhiletheotherhalfofyouisbusybeingdigested。"

Avidreading-thatDroghedapassion-hadgiventhetwoO’neillchildrenexcellentvocabulariesatanearlyage。Theywereintelligent，alertandinterestedineverything。Lifewasparticularlypleasantforthem。Theyhadtheirthoroughbredponies，increasinginsizeastheydid；theyenduredtheircorrespondencelessonsatMrs。Smith’sgreenkitchentable；theyplayedinthepeppertreecubbyhouse；theyhadpetcats，petdogs，evenapetgoanna，whichwalkedbeautifullyonaleashandansweredtoitsname。Theirfavoritepetwasaminiaturepinkpig，asintelligentasanydog，calledIggle-Piggle。Sofarfromurbancongestion，theycaughtfewdiseasesandneverhadcoldsorinfluenza。Meggiewasterrifiedofinfantileparalysis，diphtheria，anythingwhichmightswoopoutofnowheretocarrythemoff，sowhatevervaccinesbecameavailabletheyreceived。Itwasanidealexistence，fullofphysicalactivityandmentalstimulation。

WhenDanewastenandJustineeleventheyweresenttoboardingschoolinSydney，DanetoRiverviewastraditiondemanded，andJustinetoKincoppal。Whensheputthemontheplanethefirsttime，Meggiewatchedastheirwhite，valiantlycomposedlittlefacesstaredoutofawindow，handkerchiefswaving；theyhadneverbeenawayfromhomebefore。Shehadwantedbadlytogowiththem，seethemsettledinforherself，butopinionwassostronglyagainsthersheyielded。FromFeedowntoJimsandPatsy，everyonefelttheywoulddoagreatdealbetterontheirown。

"Don’tmollycoddlethem，"saidFeesternly。

Butindeedshefeltliketwodifferentpeopleasthe

DC-3tookoffinacloudofdustandstaggeredintotheshimmeringair。HerheartwasbreakingatlosingDane，andlightatthethoughtoflosingJustine。TherewasnoambivalenceinherfeelingsaboutDane；hisgay，even-temperednaturegaveandacceptedloveasnaturallyasbreathing。ButJustinewasalovable，horriblemonster。Onehadtoloveher，becausetherewasmuchtolove:herstrength，herintegrity，herself-reliance——lotsofthings。Thetroublewasthatshedidn’tpermitlovethewayDanedid，nordidsheevergiveMeggiethewonderfulfeelingofbeingneeded。Shewasn’tmateyorfullofpranks，andshehadadisastroushabitofputtingpeopledown，chiefly，itseemed，hermother。MeggiefoundmuchinherthathadbeenexasperatinginLuke，butatleastJustinewasn’tamiser。Forthatmuchbethankful。

Athrivingairlinemeantthatallthechildren’svacations，eventheshortestones，couldbespentonDrogheda。However，afteraninitialperiodofadjustmentbothchildrenenjoyedtheirschooling。DanewasalwayshomesickafteravisittoDrogheda，butJustinetooktoSydneyasifshehadalwayslivedthere，andspentherDroghedatimelongingtobebackinthecity。TheRiverviewJesuitsweredelighted；Danewasamarvelousstudent，intheclassroomandontheplayingfield。

TheKincoppalnuns，ontheotherhand，weredefinitelynotdelighted；noonewitheyesandatongueassharpasJustine’scouldhopetobepopular。AclassaheadofDane，shewasperhapsthebetterstudentofthetwo，butonlyintheclassroom。

TheSydneyMorningHeraldofAugust4th，1952，wasveryinteresting。Itsbigfrontpagerarelyboremorethanonephotograph，usuallymiddleandhighup，theintereststoryoftheday。AndthatdaythepicturewasahandsomeportraitofRalphdeBricassart。

HisGraceArchbishopRalphdeBricassart，atthepresenttimeaidetotheSecretaryofStateoftheHolySeeofRome，wastodaycreatedCardinaldeBricassartbyHisHolinessPopePiusXII。RalphRaoul，CardinaldeBricassarthashadalongandillustriousassociationwiththeRomanCatholicChurchinAustralia，extendingfromhisarrivalasanewlyordainedpriestinJuly1919tohisdeparturefortheVaticaninMarch1938。

BornonSeptember23，1893，intheRepublicofIreland，CardinaldeBricassartwasthesecondsonofafamilywhichcantraceitsdescentfromBaronRanulfdeBricassart，whocametoEnglandinthetrainofWilliamtheConqueror。Bytradition，CardinaldeBricassartespousedtheChurch。Heenteredtheseminaryattheageofseventeen，anduponhisordinationwassenttoAustralia。HisfirstmonthswerespentintheserviceofthelateBishopMichaelClabby，intheDioceseofWinnemurra。

InJune1920hewastransferredtoserveaspastorofGillanbone，innorthwesternNewSouthWales。HewasmadeMonsignor，andcontinuedatGillanboneuntilDecember1928。FromtherehebecameprivatesecretarytoHisGraceArchbishopClunyDark，andfinallyprivatesecretarytothethenArchbishopPapalLegate，HisEminenceCardinaldiContini-Verchese。DuringthistimehewascreatedBishop。WhenCardinaldiContini-VerchesewastransferredtoRometocommencehisremarkablecareerattheVatican，BishopdeBricassartwascreatedArchbishop，andreturnedtoAustraliafromAthensasthePapalLegatehimself。HeheldthisimportantVaticanappointmentuntilhistransfertoRomein1938；sincethattimehisrisewithinthecentralhierarchyoftheRomanCatholicChurchhasbeenspectacular。Now58yearsofage，heisrumoredtobeoneofthefewmenactivelyconcernedinthedeterminationofpapalpolicy。

ASydneyMorningHeraldrepresentativetalkedtosomeofCardinaldeBricassart’sex-parishionersintheGillanboneareayesterday。Heiswellremembered，andwithmuchaffection。ThisrichsheepdistrictispredominantlyRomanCatholicinitsreligiousadherence。"FatherdeBricassartfoundedtheHolyCrossBushBibliophilicSociety，"saidMr。HarryGough，MayorofGillanbone。"Itwas-forthetimeespecially-aremarkableservice，splendidlyendowedfirstbythelateMrs。MaryCarson，andafterherdeathbytheCardinalhimself，whohasneverforgottenusorourneeds。"

"FatherdeBricassartwasthefinest-lookingmanI’veeverseen，"saidMrs。FionaCleary，presentdoyenneofDrogheda，oneofthelargestandmostprosperousstationsinNewSouthWales。"DuringhistimeinGillyhewasagreatspiritualsupporttohisparishioners，andparticularlytothoseofusonDrogheda，whichasyouknownowbelongstotheCatholicChurch。Duringfloodshehelpedusmoveourstock，duringfireshecametoouraid，evenifitwasonlytoburyourdead。Hewas，infact，anextraordinarymanineveryway，andhehadmorecharmthananymanI’veevermet。Onecouldseehewasmeantforgreatthings。Indeedwerememberhim，thoughit’sovertwentyyearssinceheleftus。Yes，Ithinkit’squitetruthfultosaythattherearesomearoundGillywhostillmisshimverymuch。"

DuringthewarthethenArchbishopdeBricassartservedHisHolinessloyallyandunswervingly，andiscreditedwithhavinginfluencedFieldMarshalAlbertKesselringindecidingtomaintainRomeasanopencityafterItalybecameaGermanenemy。Florence，whichhadaskedinvainforthesameprivilege，lostmanyofitstreasures，onlyrestoredlaterbecauseGermanylostthewar。Intheimmediatepostwarperiod，CardinaldeBricassarthelpedthousandsofdisplacedpersonsseekasyluminnewcountries，andwasespeciallyvigorousinaidingtheAustralianimmigrationprogram。

ThoughbybirthheisanIrishman，andthoughitseemshewillnotexerthisinfluenceasCardinaldeBricassartinAustralia，westillfeelthattoalargeextentAustraliamayrightlyclaimthisremarkablemanasherown。

MeggiehandedthepaperbacktoFee，andsmiledathermotherruefully。"Onemustcongratulatehim，asIsaidtotheHeraldreporter。Theydidn’tprintthat，didthey？Thoughtheyprintedyourlittleeulogyalmostverbatim，Isee。Whatabarbedtongueyou’vegot！AtleastIknowwhereJustinegetsitfrom。Iwonderhowmanypeoplewillbesmartenoughtoreadbetweenthelinesofwhatyousaid？"

"Hewill，anyway，ifheeverseesit。"

"Iwonderdoesherememberus？"Meggiesighed。"Undoubtedly。Afterall，hestillfindstimetoadministerDroghedahimself。Ofcourseheremembersus，Meggie。Howcouldheforget？""True，IhadforgottenDrogheda。We’rerightupthereontopoftheearnings，aren’twe？Hemustbeverypleased。Withourwoolatapoundperpoundintheauctions，theDroghedawoolcheckthisyearmusthavemadeeventhegoldmineslooksick。TalkaboutGoldenFleece。Overfourmillionpounds，justfromshavingourbaa-lambs。"

"Don’tbecynical，Meggie，itdoesn’tsuityou，"saidFee；hermannertowardMeggiethesedays，thoughoftenmildlywithering，wastemperedwithrespectandaffection。"We’vedonewellenough，haven’twe？Don’tforgetwegetourmoneyeveryyear，goodorbad。Didn’thepayBobahundredthousandasabonus，therestofusfiftythousandeach？IfhethrewusoffDroghedatomorrowwecouldaffordtobuyBugela，evenattoday’sinflatedlandprices。Andhowmuchhashegivenyourchildren？Thousandsuponthousands。Befairtohim。"

"Butmychildrendon’tknowit，andthey’renotgoingtofindout。DaneandJustinewillgrowuptothinktheymustmaketheirownwaysintheworld，withoutbenefitofdearRalphRaoul，CardinaldeBricassart。FancyhissecondnamebeingRaoul！VeryNorman，isn’tit？"

Feegotup，walkedovertothefireandthrewthefrontpageoftheHeraldontotheflames。RalphRaoul，CardinaldeBricassartshuddered，winkedather，andthenshriveledup。

"Whatwillyoudoifhecomesback，Meggie？"

Meggiesniffed。"Fatchance！"

"Hemight，"saidFeeenigmatically。

Hedid，inDecember。Veryquietly，withoutanyoneknowing，drivinganAstonMartinsportscarallthewayfromSydneyhimself。NotawordabouthispresenceinAustraliahadreachedthepress，sonooneonDroghedahadtheremotestsuspicionhewascoming。Whenthecarpulledintothegravellyareaatonesideofthehousetherewasnooneabout，andapparentlynoonehadheardhimarrive，fornoonecameoutontotheveranda。HehadfeltthemilesfromGillyineverycellofhisbody，inhaledtheodorsofthebush，thesheep，thedrygrasssparklingrestlesslyinthesun。Kangaroosandemus，galahsandgoannas，millionsofinsectsbuzzingandflipping，antsmarchingacrosstheroadintreaclycolumns，fatpudgysheepeverywhere。Heloveditso，forinonecuriousaspectitconformedtowhathelovedinallthings；thepassingyearsscarcelyseemedtobrushit。Onlytheflyscreeningwasdifferent，buthenotedwithamusementthatFeehadn’tpermittedthebighouseverandafacingtheGillyroadtobeenclosedliketherest，onlythewindowsopeningontoit。Shewasright，ofcourse；agreatexpanseofmeshwouldhaverainedthelinesofthatlovelyGeorgianfacade。Howlongdidghostgumslive？ThesemusthavebeentransplantedfromtheDeadHeartinterioreightyyearsago。Thebougainvilleaintheirhighbrancheswasoneslidingmassofcopperandpurple。

Itwasalreadysummer，twoweeksleftbeforeChristmas，andtheDroghedaroseswereattheirheight。Therewereroseseverywhere，pinkandwhiteandyellow，crimsonlikeheart’sblood，scarletlikeacardinal’ssoutane。Inamongthewistaria，greennow，ramblingrosesdrowsedpinkandwhite，fellofftheverandaroof，downthewiremesh，clunglovinglytotheblackshuttersofthesecondstory，stretchedtendrilspastthemtothe。sky。Thetankstandswerequitesmotheredfromsightnow，sowerethetanksthemselves。Andonecolorwaseverywhereamongtheroses，apalepinkish-grey。Ashesofroses？Yes，thatwasthenameofthecolor。Meggiemusthaveplantedthem，ithadtobeMeggie。

HeheardMeggie’slaugh，andstoodmotionless，quiteterrified，thenmadehisfeetgointhedirectionofthesound，gonedowntodeliciousgigglingtrills。Justthewaysheusedtolaughwhenshewasalittlegirl。Thereitwas！Overthere，behindagreatclumpofpinkishgreyrosesnearapeppertree。Hepushedtheclustersofblossomsasidewithhishand，hismindreelingfromtheirperfume，andthatlaugh。

ButMeggiewasn’tthere，onlyaboysquattinginthelushlawn，teasingalittlepinkpigwhichraninidioticrushesuptohim，gallopedoff，sidledback。Unconsciousofhisaudience，theboythrewhisgleamingheadbackandlaughed。Meggie’slaugh，fromthatunfamiliarthroat。Withoutmeaningto，CardinalRalphlettherosesfallintoplaceandsteppedthroughthem，heedlessofthethorns。Theboy，abouttwelveorfourteenyearsofage，justprepubescent，lookedup，startled；thepigsquealed，curledupitstailtightlyandranoff。

Cladinanoldpairofkhakishortsandnothingelse，bare-footed，hewasgoldenbrownandsilky-skinned，hisslender，boyishbodyalreadyhintingatlaterpowerinthebreadthoftheyoungsquareshoulders，thewell-developedcalfandthighmuscles，theflatbellyandnarrowhips。Hishairwasalittlelongandlooselycurly，justthebleachedcolorofDroghedagrass，hiseyesthroughabsurdlythickblacklashesintenselyblue。Helookedlikeaveryyouthfulescapedangel。

"Hello，"saidtheboy，smiling。

"Hello，"saidCardinalRalph，findingitimpossibletoresistthecharmofthatsmile。"Whoareyou？"

"I’mDaneO’neill，"answeredtheboy。"Whoareyou？""MynameisRalphdeBricassart。"

DaneO’neill。HewasMeggie’sboy，then。ShehadnotleftLukeO’neillafterall，shehadgonebacktohim，bornethisbeautifulladwhomighthavebeenhis，hadhenotmarriedtheChurchfirst。HowoldhadhebeenwhenhemarriedtheChurch？Notmucholderthanthis，notverymuchmoremature。Hadhewaited，theboymightwellhavebeenhis。Whatnonsense，CardinaldeBricassart！Ifyouhadn’tmarriedtheChurchyouwouldhaveremainedinIrelandtobreedhorsesandneverknownyourfateatall，neverknownDroghedaorMeggieCleary。

"MayIhelpyou？"askedtheboypolitely，gettingtohisfeetwithasupplegraceCardinalRalphrecognized，andthoughtofasMeggie’s。"Isyourfatherhere，Dane？"

"Myfather？"Thedark，finelyetchedbrowsknitted。"No，he’snothere。He’sneverbeenhere。"

"Oh，Isee。Isyourmotherhere，then？"

"She’sinGilly，butshe’llbebacksoon。MyNannaisinthehouse，though。Wouldyouliketoseeher？Icantakeyou。"Eyesasblueascornflowersstaredathim，widened，narrowed。"RalphdeBricassart。I’veheardofyou。Oh！CardinaldeBricassart！YourEminence，I’msorry！Ididn’tmeantoberude。"

Thoughhehadabandonedhisclericalregaliainfavorofboots，breechesandawhiteshirt，therubyringwasstillonhisfinger，mustneverbewithdrawnaslongashelived。DaneO’neillknelt，tookCardinalRalph’sslenderhandinhisownslenderones，andkissedtheringreverently。"It’sallright，Dane。I’mnothereasCardinaldeBricassart。I’mhereasafriendofyourmother’sandyourgrandmother’s。"

"I’msorry，YourEminence，IoughttohaverecognizedyournametheminuteIheardit。Wesayitoftenenoughroundhere。Onlyyoupronounceitabitdifferently，andyourChristiannamethrewmeoff。Mymotherwillbeverygladtoseeyou，Iknow。"

"Dane，Dane，whereareyou？"calledanimpatientvoice，verydeepandentrancinglyhusky。

Thehangingfrondsofthepeppertreepartedandagirlofaboutfifteenduckedout，straightened。Heknewwhoshewasimmediately，fromthoseastonishingeyes。Meggie’sdaughter。Coveredinfreckles，sharp-faced，small-featured，disappointinglyunlikeMeggie。

"Oh，hello。I’msorry，Ididn’trealizewehadavisitor。I’mJustineO’neill。"

"Jussy，thisisCardinaldeBricassart！"Danesaidinaloudwhisper。"Kisshisring，quickly！"

Theblind-lookingeyesflashedscorn。""You’rearealprawnaboutreligion，Dane，"shesaidwithoutbotheringtolowerhervoice。"Kissingaringisunhygienic；Iwon’tdoit。Besides，howdoweknowthisisCardinaldeBricassart？Helookslikeanold-fashionedgraziertome。Youknow，likeMr。Gordon。"

"Heis，heis！"insistedDane。"Please，Jussy，begood！Begoodforme！""I’llbegood，butonlyforyou。ButIwon’tkisshisring，evenforyou。Disgusting。HowdoIknowwhokisseditlast？Theymighthavehadacold。""Youdon’thavetokissmyring，Justine。I’mhereonaholiday；I’mnotbeingacardinalatthemoment。"

"That’sgood，becauseI’lltellyoufrankly，I’manatheist，"saidMeggieCleary’sdaughtercalmly。"AfterfouryearsatKincoppalIthinkit’sallaloadofuttercodswallop。"

"That’syourprivilege，"saidCardinalRalph，tryingdesperatelytolookasdignifiedandseriousasshedid。"MayIfindyourgrandmother？""Ofcourse。Doyouneedus？"Justineasked。

"No，thankyou。Iknowmyway。"

"Good。"Sheturnedtoherbrother，stillgapingupatthevisitor。"Comeon，Dane，helpme。Comeon！"

ButthoughJustinetuggedpainfullyathisarm，DanestayedtowatchCardinalRalph’stall，straightfiguredisappearbehindtheroses。"Youreallyareaprawn，Dane。What’ssospecialabouthim？""He’sacardinal！"saidDane。"Imaginethat！AreallivecardinalonDrogheda！"

"Cardinals，"saidJustine，"arePrincesoftheChurch。Isupposeyou’reright，itisratherextraordinary。ButIdon’tlikehim。"

WhereelsewouldFeebe，exceptatherdesk？Hesteppedthroughthewindowsintothedrawingroom，butthesedaysthatnecessitatedopeningascreen。Shemusthaveheardhim，butkeptonworking，backbent，thelovelygoldenhairgonetosilver。Withdifficultyherememberedshemustbeallofseventy-twoyearsold。

"Hello，Fee，"hesaid。

Whensheraisedherheadhesawachangeinher，ofwhatprecisenaturehecouldn’tbesure；theindifferencewasthere，butsowereseveralotherthings。Asifshehadmellowedandhardenedsimultaneously，becomemorehuman，yethumaninaMaryCarsonmold。God，theseDroghedamatriarchs！WouldithappentoMeggie，too，whenherturncame？

"Hello，Ralph，"shesaid，asifhesteppedthroughthewindowseveryday。"Hownicetoseeyou。"

"Nicetoseeyou，too。"

"Ididn’tknowyouwereinAustralia。"

"Noonedoes。Ihaveafewweeks"holiday。"

"You’restayingwithus，Ihope？"

"Whereelse？"Hiseyesroamedroundthemagnificentwalls，restedonMaryCarson’sportrait。"Youknow，Fee，yourtasteisimpeccable，unerring。ThisroomrivalsanythingintheVatican。Thoseblackeggshapeswiththerosesare4strokeofgenius。"

"Why，thankyou！Wetryourhumblebest。PersonallyIpreferthediningroom；I’vedoneitagainsinceyouwereherelast。Pinkandwhiteandgreen。Soundsawful，butwaituntilyouseeit。ThoughwhyItry，Idon’tknow。It’syourhouse，isn’tit？"

"Notwhilethere’saClearyalive，Fee，"hesaidquietly。"Howcomforting。Well，you’vecertainlycomeupintheworldsinceyourGillydays，haven’tyou？DidyouseetheHeraldarticleaboutyourpromotion？"

Hewinced。"Idid。Yourtongue’ssharpened，Fee。"

"Yes，andwhat’smore，I’menjoyingit。AllthoseyearsIshutupandneversaidathing！Ididn’tknowwhatIwasmissing。"Shesmiled。"Meggie’sinGilly，butshe’llbebacksoon。"

DaneandJustinecamethroughthewindows。

"Nanna，mayweridedowntotheborehead？"

"Youknowtherules。Noridingunlessyourmothergivesherpermissionpersonally。I’msorry，butthey’reyourmother’sorders。Whereareyourmanners？Comeandbeintroducedtoourvisitor。"

"I’vealreadymetthem。"

"Oh。"

"I’dhavethoughtyou’dbeawayatboardingschool，"hesaidtoDane，smiling。

"NotinDecember，YourEminence。We’reofffortwomonths-thesummerholidays。"

Toomanyyearsaway；hehadforgottenthatsouthernhemispherechildrenwouldenjoytheirlongvacationduringDecemberandJanuary。

"Areyougoingtobestayingherelong，YourEminence？"Danequeried，stillfascinated。

"HisEminencewillbewithusforaslongashecanmanage，Dane，"saidhisgrandmother，"butIthinkhe’sgoingtofinditalittlewearingtobeaddressedasYourEminenceallthetime。Whatshallitbe？UncleRalph？""Uncle！"exclaimedJustine。"Youknow"uncle’isagainstthefamilyrules，Nanna！OurunclesarejustBob，Jack，Hughie，JimsandPatsy。Sothatmeanshe’sRalph。"

"Don’tbesorude，Justine！Whatonearth’sthematterwithyourmanners？"demandedFee。

"No，Fee，it’sallright。I’dpreferthateveryonecallmeplainRalph，really，"theCardinalsaidquickly。Whydidshedislikehimso，theoddmite？"Icouldn’t！"gaspedDane。"Icouldn’tcallyoujustRalph！"

CardinalRalphcrossedtheroom，tookthebareshouldersbetweenhishandsandsmileddown，hisblueeyesverykind，andvividintheroom’sshadows。"Ofcourseyoucan，Dane。Itisn’tasin。"

"Comeon，Dane，let’sgetbacktothecubbyhouse，"Justineordered。CardinalRalphandhissonturnedtowardFee，lookedathertogether。"Heavenhelpus！"saidFee。"Goon，Dane，gooutsideandplay，willyou？"Sheclappedherhands。"Buzz！"

Theboyranforhislife，andFeeedgedtowardherbooks。CardinalRalphtookpityonherandannouncedthathewouldgotothecookhouse。Howlittletheplacehadchanged！Stilllamplit，obviously。Stillredolentofbeeswaxandgreatvasesofroses。

HestayedtalkingtoMrs。Smithandthemaidsforalongtime。Theyhadgrownmucholderintheyearssincehehadleft，butsomehowagesuitedthemmorethanitdidFee。Happy。That’swhattheywere。Genuinelyalmostperfectlyhappy。PoorFee，whowasn’thappy。ItmadehimhungrytoseeMeggie，seeifshewashappy。ButwhenheleftthecookhouseMeggiewasn’tback，sotofillintimehestrolledthroughthegroundstowardthecreek。Howpeacefulthecemeterywas；thereweresixbronzeplaquesonthemausoleumwall，justastherehadbeenlasttime。Hemustseethathehimselfwasburiedhere；hemustremembertoinstructthem，whenhereturnedtoRome。Nearthemausoleumhenoticedtwonewgraves，oldTom，thegardenrouseabout，andthewifeofoneofthestockmen，whohadbeenonthepayrollsince1946。Mustbesomesortofrecord。Mrs。Smiththoughthewasstillwiththembecausehiswifelayhere。TheChinesecook’sancestralumbrellawasquitefadedfromalltheyearsoffiercesun，haddwindledfromitsoriginalimperialredthroughthevariousshadesherememberedtoitspresentwhitishpink，almostashesofroses。Meggie，Meggie。Youwentbacktohimafterme，youborehimason。Itwasveryhot；alittlewindcame，stirredtheweepingwillowsalongthecreek，madethebellsontheChinesecook’sumbrellachimetheirmournfultinnytune:HeeSing，HeeSing，HeeSing。TANKSTANDCHARLIEHEWASAGOODBLOKE。Thathadfaded，too，waspracticallyindecipherable。Well，itwasfitting。GraveyardsoughttosinkbackintothebosomofMotherEarth，losetheirhumancargounderawashoftime，untilitallwasgoneandonlytheairremembered，sighing。Hedidn’twanttobeburiedinaVaticancrypt，amongmenlikehimself。Here，amongpeoplewhohadreallylived。Turning，hiseyescaughttheglaucousglanceofthemarbleangel。Heraisedhishand，salutedit，lookedacrossthegrasstowardthebighouse。Andshewascoming，Meggie。Slim，golden，inapairofbreechesandawhiteman’sshirtexactlylikehisown，aman’sgreyfelthatonthebackofherhead，tanbootsonherfeet。Likeaboy，likeherson，whoshouldhavebeenhisson。

Hewasaman，butwhenhetoolayheretherewouldbenothingleftlivingtomarkthefact。

Shecameon，steppedoverthewhitefence，camesocloseallhecouldseewerehereyes，thosegrey，light-filledeyeswhichhadn’tlosttheirbeautyortheirholdoverhisheart。Herarmswerearoundhisneck，hisfateagainwithinhistouch，itwasasifhehadneverbeenawayfromher，thatmouthaliveunderhis，notadream；solongwanted，solong。Adifferentkindofsacrament，darkliketheearth，havingnothingtodowiththesky。"Meggie，Meggie，"hesaid，hisfaceinherhair，herhatonthegrass，hisarmsaroundher。

"Itdoesn’tseemtomatter，doesit？Nothingeverchanges，"shesaid，eyesclosed……

"No，nothingchanges，"hesaid，believingit。"ThisisDrogheda，Ralph。Iwarnedyou，onDroghedayou’remine，notGod’s。"

"Iknow。Iadmitit。ButIcame。"Hedrewherdownontothegrass。"Why，Meggie？"

"Whywhat？"Herhandwasstrokinghishair，whiterthanFee’snow，stillthick，stillbeautiful。

"WhydidyougobacktoLuke？Havehisson？"heaskedjealously。Hersoullookedoutfrombehinditslucentgreywindowsandveileditsthoughtsfromhim。"Heforcedmeto，"shesaidblandly。"Itwasonlyonce。ButIhadDane，soI’mnotsorry。DanewaswortheverythingIwentthroughtogethim。"

"I’msorry，Ihadnorighttoask。IgaveyoutoLukeinthefirstplace，didn’tI？"

"That’strue，youdid。"

"He’sawonderfulboy。DoeshelooklikeLuke？"Shesmiledsecretly，pluckedatthegrass，laidherhandinsidehisshirt，againsthischest。"Notreally。NeitherofmychildrenlooksverymuchlikeLuke，orme。"

"Ilovethembecausethey’reyours。"

"You’reassentimentalasever。Agesuitsyou，Ralph。

Iknewitwould，IhopedI’dhavethechancetoseeit。ThirtyyearsI’veknownyou！Itseemslikethirtydays。"

"Thirtyyears？Asmanyasthat？"

"I’mforty-one，mydear，soitmustbe。"Shegottoherfeet。"Iwasofficiallysenttosummonyouinside。Mrs。Smithislayingonasplendidteainyourhonor，andlateronwhenit’sabitcoolerthere’stoberoastlegofpork，withlotsofcrackling。"

Hebegantowalkwithher，slowly。"Yoursonlaughsjustlikeyou，Meggie。HislaughwasthefirsthumannoiseIheardonDrogheda。Ithoughthewasyou；IwenttofindyouandIdiscoveredhiminstead。"

"SohewasthefirstpersonyousawonDrogheda。"

"Why，yes，Isupposehewas。"

"Whatdidyouthinkofhim，Ralph？"sheaskedeagerly。"Ilikedhim。HowcouldInot，whenhe’syourson？ButIwasattractedtohimverystrongly，farmoresothantoyourdaughter。Shedoesn’tlikeme，either。"

"Justinemightbemychild，butshe’saprizebitch。I’velearnedtoswearinmyoldage，mostlythankstoJustine。Andyou，alittle。AndLuke，alittle。Andthewar，alittle。Funnyhowtheyallmountup。"

"You’vechangedalot，Meggie。"

"HaveI？"Thesoft，fullmouthcurvedintoasmile。"Idon’tthinkso，really。It’sjusttheGreatNorthwest，wearingmedown，strippingoffthelayerslikeSalome’ssevenveils。Orlikeanonion，whichishowJustinewouldratherputit。Nopoetry，thatchild。I’mthesameoldMeggie，Ralph，onlymorenaked。"

"Perhapsso。"

"Ali，butyou’vechanged，Ralph。"

"Inwhatway，myMeggie？"

"Asifthepedestalrockswitheverypassingbreeze，andasiftheviewfromupthereisadisappointment。"

"Itis。"Helaughedsoundlessly。"AndtothinkIoncehadthetemeritytosayyouweren’tanythingoutoftheordinary！Itakeitback。You’retheonewoman，Meggie。Theone！""Whathappened？"

"Idon’tknow。DidIdiscoverevenChurchidolshavefeetofclay？DidIsellmyselfforamessofpottage？AmIgraspingatnothing？"Hisbrowsdrewtogether，asifinpain。"Andthat’sit，perhaps，inanutshell。I’mamassofclichés。It’sanold，sour，petrifiedworld，theVaticanworld。""Iwasmorereal，butyoucouldneverseeit。"

"TherewasnothingelseIcoulddo，truly！IknewwhereIshouldhavegone，butIcouldn’t。WithyouImighthavebeenabetterman，iflessaugust。ButIjustcouldn’t，Meggie。Oh，IwishIcouldmakeyouseethat！"Herhandstolealonghisbarearm，tenderly。"DearRalph，Idoseeit。Iknow，Iknow……Eachofushassomethingwithinuswhichwon’tbedenied，evenifitmakesusscreamaloudtodie。Wearewhatweare，that’sall。LiketheoldCelticlegendofthebirdwiththethorninitsbreast，singingitsheartoutanddying。Becauseithasto，it’sdrivento。Wecanknowwhatwedowrongevenbeforewedoit，butself-knowledgecan’taffectorchangetheoutcome，canit？Everyonesinginghisownlittlesong，convincedit’sthemostwonderfulsongtheworldhaseverheard。Don’tyousee？Wecreateourownthorns，andneverstoptocountthecost。Allwecandoissufferthepain，andtellourselvesitwaswellworthit。"

"That’swhatIdon’tunderstand。Thepain。"Heglanceddownatherhand，sogentlyonhisarm，hurtinghimsounbearably。"Whythepain，Meggie？""AskGod，Ralph，"saidMeggie。"He’stheauthorityonpain，isn’tHe？Hemadeuswhatweare，Hemadethewholeworld。ThereforeHemadethepain，too。"

Bob，Jack，Hughie，JimsandPatsywereinfordinner，sinceitwasSaturdaynight。TomorrowFather

WattywasdueouttosayMass，butBobcalledhimandsaidnoonewouldbethere。Awhitelie，topreserveCardinalRalph’sanonymity。ThefiveClearyboysweremorelikePaddythanever，older，slowerinspeech，assteadfastandenduringastheland。AndhowtheylovedDane！Theireyesneverseemedtoleavehim，evenfollowedhimfromtheroomwhenhewenttobed。Itwasn’thardtoseetheylivedforthedaywhenhewouldbeoldenoughtojointheminrunningDrogheda。

CardinalRalphhadalsodiscoveredthereasonforJustine’senmity。Danehadtakenafancytohim，hungonhiswords，lingerednearhim；shewasplainjealous。

Afterthechildrenhadgoneupstairs，helookedatthosewhowereleft:thebrothers，Meggie，Fee。

"Fee，leaveyourdeskforamoment，"hesaid。"Comeandsitherewithus。Iwanttotalktoallofyou。"

Shestillcarriedherselfwellandhadn’tlostherfigure，onlyslackenedinthebreasts，thickenedveryslightlyinthewaist；moreashapingduetooldagethantoanactualweightgain。SilentlysheseatedherselfinoneofthebigcreamchairsoppositetheCardinal，withMeggietooneside，andthebrothersonstonebenchescloseby。

"It’saboutFrank，"hesaid。

Thenamehungbetweenthem，resoundingdistantly。"WhataboutFrank？"askedFeecomposedly。

Meggielaidherknittingdown，lookedathermother，thenatCardinalRalph。"Tellus，Ralph，"shesaidquickly，unabletobearhermother’scomposureamomentlonger。

"Frankhasservedalmostthirtyyearsinjail，doyourealizethat？"askedtheCardinal。"Iknowmypeoplekeptyouinformedaswearranged，butIhadaskedthemnottodistressyouunduly。Ihonestlycouldn’tseewhatgooditcoulddoFrankoryourselvestoheartheharrowingdetailsofhislonelinessanddespair，becausetherewasnothinganyofusmighthavedone。IthinkFrankwouldhavebeenreleasedsomeyearsagohadhenotgainedareputationforviolenceandinstabilityduringhisearlyyearsinGoulburnGaol。Evenaslateasthewar，whensomeotherprisonerswerereleasedintoarmedservice，poorFrankwasrefused。"

Feeglancedupfromherhands。"It’shistemper，"shesaidwithoutemotion。TheCardinalseemedtobehavingsomedifficultyinfindingtherightwords；whilehesoughtforthem，thefamilywatchedhiminmingleddreadandhope，thoughitwasn’tFrank’swelfaretheycaredabout。"ItmustbepuzzlingyougreatlywhyIcamebacktoAustraliaafteralltheseyears，"CardinalRalphsaidfinally，notlookingatMeggie。"Ihaven’talwaysbeenmindfulofyourlives，andIknowit。FromthedayImetyou，I’vethoughtofmyselffirst，putmyselffirst。AndwhentheHolyFatherrewardedmylaborsonbehalfoftheChurchwithacardinal’smantle，IaskedmyselfiftherewasanyserviceIcoulddotheClearyfamilywhichinsomewaywouldtellthemhowdeeplyIcare。"Hedrewabreath，focusedhisgazeonFee，notonMeggie。"IcamebacktoAustraliatoseewhatIcoulddoaboutFrank。Doyouremember，Fee，thattimeIspoketoyouafterPaddyandStudied？Twentyyearsago，andI’veneverbeenabletoforgetthelookinyoureyes。Somuchenergyandvitality，crushed。"

"Yes，"saidBobabruptly，hiseyesrivetedonhismother。"Yes，that’sit。""Frankisbeingparoled，"saidtheCardinal。"ItwastheonlythingIcoulddotoshowyouthatIdocare。"

Ifhehadexpectedasudden，dazzlingblazeoflightfromoutofFee’slongdarkness，hewouldhavebeenverydisappointed；atfirstitwasnomorethanasmallflicker，andperhapsthetollofagewouldneverreallypermitittoshineatfullbrightness。ButintheeyesofFee’ssonshesawitstruemagnitude，andknewasenseofhisownpurposehehadn’tfeltsincethattimeduringthewarwhenhehadtalkedtotheyoungGermansoldierwiththeimposingname。

"Thankyou，"saidFee。

"WillyouwelcomehimbacktoDrogheda？"heaskedtheClearymen。"Thisishishome，it’swhereheoughttobe，"Bobansweredelliptically。EveryonenoddedagreementsaveFee，whoseemedintentonsomeprivatevision。

"Heisn’tthesameFrank，"CardinalRalphwentongently。"IvisitedhiminGoulburnGaoltotellhimthenewsbeforeIcamehere，andIhadtolethimknoweveryoneonDroghedahadalwaysbeenawarewhathadhappenedtohim。IfItellyouthathedidn’ttakeithard，itmightgiveyousomeideaofthechangeinhim。Hewassimply……grateful。Andsolookingforwardtoseeinghisfamilyagain，especiallyyou，Fee。"

"When’shebeingreleased？"Bobasked，clearinghisthroat，pleasureforhismotherclearlywarringwithfearofwhatwouldhappenwhenFrankreturned。

"Inaweekortwo。He’llcomeuponthenightmail。Iwantedhimtofly，buthesaidhepreferredthetrain。"

"PatsyandIwillmeethim，"Jimsofferedeagerly，thenhisfacefell。"Oh！Wedon’tknowwhathelookslike！"

"No，"saidFee。"I’llmeethimmyself。Onmyown。I’mnotinmydotageyet；IcanstilldrivetoGilly。"

"Mum’sright，"saidMeggiefirmly，forestallingachorusofprotestsfromherbrothers。"LetMummeethimonherown。She’stheoneoughttoseehimfirst。"

"Well，Ihaveworktodo，"saidFeegruffly，gettingupandmovingtowardherdesk。

Thefivebrothersroseasoneman。"AndIreckonit’sourbedtime，"saidBob，yawningelaborately。HesmiledshylyatCardinalRalph。"Itwillbelikeoldtimes，tohaveyousayingMassforusinthemorning。"

Meggiefoldedherknitting，putitaway，gotup。"I’llsaygoodnight，too，Ralph。"

"Goodnight，Meggie。"Hiseyesfollowedherasshewentoutoftheroom，thenturnedtoFee’shunchedback。"Goodnight，Fee。""Ibegyourpardon？Didyousaysomething？"

"Isaidgoodnight。"

"Oh！Goodnight，Ralph。"

Hedidn’twanttogoupstairssosoonafterMeggie。"I’mgoingforawalkbeforeIturnin，Ithink。Doyouknowsomething，Fee？""No。"Hervoicewasabsent。

"Youdon’tfoolmeforaminute。"

Shesnortedwithlaughter，aneeriesound。"Don’tI？Iwonderaboutthat。"Late，andthestars。Thesouthernstars，wheelingacrosstheheavens。Hehadlosthisholduponthemforever，thoughtheywerestillthere，toodistanttowarm，tooremotetocomfort。ClosertoGod，Whowasawispbetweenthem。Foralongtimehestoodlookingup，listeningtothewindinthetrees，smiling。

ReluctanttobenearFee，heusedtheflightofstairsatthefarendofthehouse；thelampoverherdeskstillburnedandhecouldseeherbentsilhouettethere，working。PoorFee。Howmuchshemustdreadgoingtobed，though-perhapswhenFrankcamehomeitwouldbeeasier。Perhaps。Atthetopofthestairssilencemethimthickly；acrystallamponanarrowhalltableshedadimpooloflightforthecomfortofnocturnalwanderers，flickeringasthenightbreezebillowedthecurtainsinwardaroundthewindownexttoit。Hepasseditby，hisfeetontheheavycarpetingmakingnosound。