第14章
"Thatisonewayofbeginning，"saidBettina。"Infact，itistheonlyway。"
Hedidnottellherthathelikedthat，butheknewthathedidlikeitandthathermerewordstouchedhimlikeaspur。
Itwas，ofcourse，herlifelongbreathingoftheatmosphereofmillionswhichmadeforthisfashionofmovingatonceinthedirectionofobstaclespresentingtotherestoftheworldbarriersseeminglyinsurmountable。Andyettherewassomethingelseinit，somequalityofnaturewhichdidnotalonesuggesttheomnipotenceofwealth，butanotherthingwhichmightbeevenstrongerandthereforecarriedconviction。Hewhohadragedandclenchedhishandsinthefaceofhisknowledgeoftheaspecthisdreamwouldhavepresentedifhehadrevealedittotheordinarypracticalmind，feltthatapointofviewlikethiswasgoodforhim。Therewasinitstimulusforafleetingmomentatleast。
"Thatisagoodidea，"heanswered。"Whereshouldyoubegin？"
Sherepliedquiteseriously，thoughhecouldhaveimaginedsomegirlsrathersimperingoverthequestionasacasualjoke。
"Onewouldbeginatthefences，"shesaid。"Don’tyouthinkso？"
"Thatispractical。"
"ThatiswhereIshallbeginatStornham，"reflectively。
"YouaregoingtobeginatStornham？"
"Howcouldonehelpit？Itisnotaslargeorassplendidasthishasbeen，butitislikeitinaway。Anditwillbelongtomysister’sson。No，Icouldnothelpit。"
"Isupposeyoucouldnot。"Therewasahintofwhollyunconsciousresentmentinhistone。Hewasthinkingthattheeffectproducedbytheirboundlesswealthwastomakethesepeoplefeelasaraceofgiantsmight——eventheirwomenunknowinglyrevealedit。
"No，Icouldnot，"washerreply。"IsupposeIamonthewholeasortofcommercialworkingperson。Ihavenodoubtitiscommercial，thatinstinctwhichmakesoneresentseeingthingslosetheirvalue。"
"Shallyoubeginitforthatreason？"
"Partlyforthatone——partlyforanother。"Sheheldoutherhandtohim。"Lookatthelengthoftheshadows。I
mustgo。Thankyou，LordMountDunstan，forshowingmetheplace，andthankyouforundeceivingme。"
Heheldthesidegateopenforherandliftedhiscapasshepassedthrough。Headmittedtohimself，withsomereluctance，thathewasnotcontentthatsheshouldgoevenyet，but，ofcourse，shemustgo。Therepassedthroughhismindaremotewonderwhyhehadsuddenlyunbosomedhimselftoherinawaysoextraordinarilyunlikehimself。Itwas，hethoughtnext，becauseashehadtakenheraboutfromoneplacetoanotherhehadknownthatshehadseeninthingswhathehadseeninthemsolong——themelancholyloneliness，thesignificanceofit，thelosthopesthatlaybehindit，thetouchingpainofthestatelinesswrecked。Shehadshownitinthewayinwhichshetenderlylookedfromsidetoside，intheverylightnessofherfootfall，inthebluebellsofteningofhereyes。Oh，yes，shehadunderstoodandcared，Americanasshewas！Shehadfeltitall，evenwithherhideousbackgroundofFifthAvenuebehindher。
Whenhehadspokenithadbeenininvoluntaryresponsetoanemotioninherself。
Sohestood，thinking，asheforsometimewatchedherwalkingupthesunset—glowingroad。
CHAPTERXVI
THEPARTICULARINCIDENT
BettyVanderpoel’swalkbacktoStornhamdidnot，longthoughitwas，givehertimetofollowtoitsendthethreadofherthoughts。Mentallyshewalkedagainwithheruncommunicativeguide，throughwoodpathsandgardens，andstoodgazingatthegreatblind—facedhouse。Shehadnotgiventhemanmorethananoccasionalglanceuntilhehadtoldherhisname。Shehadbeentoomuchabsorbed，toomuchmoved，bywhatshehadbeenseeing。Shewondered，ifshehadbeenmoreawareofhim，whetherhisfacewouldhaverevealedagreatdeal。Shebelieveditwouldnot。Hehadmadehimselfoutwardlystolid。Butthethingmusthavebeenbitter。
Tohimthewholestoryofthesplendidpastwasfamiliarevenifthroughhisownlifehehadlookedononlyatgradualdecay。Theremustbestoriesenoughofmenandwomenwhohadlivedintheplace，ofwhattheyhaddone，ofhowtheyhadloved，ofwhattheyhadcountedforintheircountry’swarsandpeacemakings，greatfunctionsandlaw—building。Tobeabletolookbackthroughcenturiesandknowofone’sbloodthatsometimesithadbeenshedinthedoingofgreatdeeds，mustbeathingtoremember。Torealisethatthecourageandhonourhadbeenlostinignoblemodernvices，whichnosenseofdignityandreverenceforraceandnamehadrestrained——
mustbebitter——bitter！Andintheroleofaservanttoleadastrangeraboutamongtheruinsofwhathadbeen——thatmusthavebeenbitter，too。ForamomentBettyfeltthebitternessofitherselfandherredmouthtookuponitselfagrimline。
Theworstofitforhimwasthathewasnotofthatstrainofhisracewhohadbeenthe"badlot。"The"badlot"hadbeentheweaklot，thevicious，theself—degrading。
Scandalswhichhadshutmenoutfromtheirclassandkindwereusuallyofanuglytype。Thismanhadastrongjaw，apowerful，healthybody，andclean，thoughperhapshard，eyes。
TheFirstManofthem，whohewedhiswaytothefront，whostoodfierceinthefaceofthings，whowonthefirstlandsandlaidthefirststones，mighthavebeenlikehiminbuildandlook。
"It’sadisgustingthing，"shesaidtoherself，"tothinkofthecorruptweaklingsthestrongonesdwindleddownto。I
hatethem。Sodoeshe。"
Therehadbeenmanysuchoflateyears，sheknew。ShehadseentheminParis，inRome，eveninNewYork。Thingswiththinorover—thickbodiesandrecedingchinsandforeheads；
thingshauntingplacesofamusementandfindinginordinateentertainmentinstrangejokesandhorseplay。Sheherselfhadhotbloodandafiercestrengthofrebellion，andshewaswonderinghow，ifthefatherandelderbrotherhadbeenthe"badlot，"hehadmanagedtostandstill，lookingon，andkeepinghishandsoffthem。
ThelastgoldofthesunwasmellowingthegreystoneoftheterraceandenrichingthegreenoftheweedsthrustingthemselvesintolifebetweentheunevenflagswhenshereachedStornham，andpassingthroughthehousefoundLadyAnstrutherssittingthere。Insustenanceofherefforttokeepupappearances，shehadputonaweirdlittlemuslindressandhadelaboratedthedressingofherthinhair。Itwasnolongerdraggedbackstraightfromherface，andshelookedatriflelessabject，evenashadeprettier。Bettinasatupontheedgeofthebalustradeandtouchedthehairwithlightfingers，rufflingitalittlebecomingly。
"Ifyouhadwornitlikethisyesterday，"shesaid，"Ishouldhaveknownyou。"
"Shouldyou，Betty？IneverlookintoamirrorifIcanhelpit，butwhenIdoIneverknowmyself。ThethingthatstaresbackatmewithitspaleeyesisnotRosy。But，ofcourse，everyonegrowsold。"
"Notnow！Peoplearejustdiscoveringhowtogrowyounginstead。"
LadyAnstrutherslookedintotheclearcourageofherlaughingeyes。
"Somehow，"shesaid，"yousaystrangethingsinsuchawaythatonefeelsasiftheymustbetrue，however——howeverunlikeanythingelsetheyare。"
"Theyarenotasnewastheyseem，"saidBetty。"Ancientphilosopherssaidthingslikethemcenturiesago，butpeopledidnotbelievethem。Wearejustbeginningtodragthemoutofthedustandfurbishthemupandpretendtheyareours，justaspeoplerubupandadornthemselveswithjewelsdugoutofexcavations。"
"InAmericapeoplethinksomanynewthings，"saidpoorlittleLadyAnstrutherswithyearninghumbleness。
"Thewholecivilisedworldisthinkingwhatyoucallnewthings，"saidBetty。"Theoldoneswon’tdo。Theyhavebeentried，andthoughtheyhavehelpedustotheplacewehavereached，theycannothelpusanyfarther。Wemustbeginagain。"
"ItissuchalongtimesinceIbegan，"saidRosy，"suchalongtime。"
"Thentheremustbeanotherbeginningforyou，too。Thehourhasstruck。"
LadyAnstruthersrosewithasinvoluntaryamovementasifastronghandhaddrawnhertoherfeet。ShestoodfacingBetty，apatheticlittlefigureinherwashed—outmuslinfrockandwithherwashed—outfaceandeyesandbeing，thoughonherfadedcheeksaflushwasrising。
"Oh，Betty！"shesaid，"Idon’tknowwhatthereisaboutyou，butthereissomethingwhichmakesonefeelasifyoubelievedeverythingandcoulddoeverything，andasifonebelievesYOU。Whateveryouweretosay，youwouldmakeitseemTRUE。IfyousaidthewildestthingintheworldIshouldBELIEVEyou。"
Bettygotup，too，andtherewasanextraordinarysteadinessinhereyes。
"Youmay，"sheanswered。"Ishallneversayonethingtoyouwhichisnotatruth，notonesinglething。"
"Ibelievethat，"saidRosyAnstruthers，withaquiveringmouth。"Idobelieveitso。"
"IwalkedtoMountDunstan，"Bettysaidlater。
"Really？"saidRosy。"Thereandback？"
"Yes，andallroundtheparkandthegardens。"
Rosylookedratheruncertain。
"Weren’tyoualittleafraidofmeetingsomeone？"
"Ididmeetsomeone。AtfirstItookhimforagame—
keeper。ButheturnedouttobeLordMountDunstan。"
LadyAnstruthersgasped。
"Whatdidhedo？"sheexclaimed。"Didhelookangryatseeingastranger？Theysayheissoill—temperedandrude。"
"Ishouldfeelill—temperedifIwereinhisplace，"saidBetty。"Hehasenoughtorousehisevilpassionsandmakehimsavage。Whatafateforamanwithanysenseanddecencyoffeeling！Whatfoolsandcriminalsthelastgenerationofhishousemusthaveproduced！Iwonderhowsuchthingsevolvethemselves。Butheisdifferent——different。Onecanseeit。Ifhehadachance——justhalfachance——hewouldbuilditallupagain。AndIdon’tmeanmerelytheplace，butallthatonemeanswhenonesays`hishouse。’"
"Hewouldneedagreatdealofmoney，"sighedLadyAnstruthers。
Bettynoddedslowlyasshelookedout，reflecting，intothepark。
"Yes，itwouldrequiremoney，"washeradmission。
"Andhehasnone，"LadyAnstruthersadded。"Nonewhatever。"
"Hewillgetsome，"saidBetty，stillreflecting。"Hewillmakeit，ordigitup，orsomeonewillleaveittohim。Thereisagreatdealofmoneyintheworld，andwhenastrongcreatureoughttohavesomeofithegetsit。"
"Oh，Betty！"saidRosy。"Oh，Betty！"
"Watchthatman，"saidBetty；"youwillsee。Itwillcome。"
LadyAnstruthers’mind，workingatnotimeoncomplexlines，presentedherwithasimplemodernsolution。
"PerhapshewillmarryanAmerican，"shesaid，andsayingit，sighedagain。
"Hewillnotdoitonpurpose。"BettinaansweredslowlyandwithsuchanairofabsenceofmindthatRosylaughedalittle。
"Willhedoitaccidentally，oragainsthiswill？"shesaid。
Bettyherselfsmiled。
"Perhapshewill，"shesaid。"ThereareEnglishmenwhoratherdislikeAmericans。Ithinkheisoneofthem。"
ItapparentlybecamenecessaryforLadyAnstruthers，amomentlater，toleanuponthestonebalustradeandpickoffayoungleaforso，fornoreasonwhatever，unlessthatindoingsosheavertedherlookfromhersisterasshemadehernextremark。
"Areyou——whenareyougoingtowritetofatherandmother？"
"Ihavewritten，"withunembarrassedevennessoftone。
"Motherwillbecountingthedays。"
"Mother！"Rosybreathed，withasoftlittlegasp。"Mother！"andturnedherfacefartheraway。"Whatdidyoutellher？"
Bettymovedovertoherandstoodcloseatherside。Thepowerofherpersonalityenvelopedthetremulouscreatureasifithadbeenasenseofwarmth。
"Itoldherhowbeautifultheplacewas，andhowUghtredadoredyou——andhowyoulovedusall，andlongedtoseeNewYorkagain。"
ThereliefinthepoorlittlefacewassoimmensethatBetty’sheartshookbeforeit。LadyAnstrutherslookedupatherwithadoringeyes。
"Imighthaveknown，"shesaid；"Imighthaveknownthat——thatyouwouldonlysaytherightthing。Youcouldn’tsaythewrongthing，Betty。"
Bettybentoverherandspokealmostyearningly。
"Whateverhappens，"shesaid，"wewilltakecarethatmotherisnothurt。She’stookind——she’stoogood——she’stootender。"
"ThatiswhatIhaveremembered，"saidLadyAnstruthersbrokenly。"SheusedtoholdmeonherlapwhenIwasquitegrownup。Oh！hersoft，warmarms——herwarmshoulder！
Ihavesowantedher。"
"Shehaswantedyou，"Bettyanswered。"Shethinksofyoujustasshedidwhensheheldyouonherlap。"
"Butifshesawmenow——lookinglikethis！Ifshesawme！SometimesIhaveevenbeengladtothinksheneverwould。"
"Shewill。"Betty’stonewascoolandclear。"ButbeforeshedoesIshallhavemadeyoulooklikeyourself。"
LadyAnstruthers’thinhandclosedonherpluckedleavesconvulsively，andthenopeningletthemdropuponthestoneoftheterrace。
"Weshallneverseeeachother。Itwouldn’tbepossible，"
shesaid。"Andthereisnomagicintheworldnow，Betty。
Youcan’tbringback————"
"Yes，youcan，"saidBettina。"Andwhatusedtobecalledmagicisonlythecontrolledworkingofthelawandorderofthingsinthesedays。Wemusttalkitallover。"
LadyAnstruthersbecamealittlepale。
"What？"sheasked，lowandnervously，andBettysawherglancesidewaysatthewindowsoftheroomwhichopenedontotheterrace。
Bettytookherhandanddrewherdownintoachair。Shesatnearherandlookedherstraightintheface。
"Don’tbefrightened，"shesaid。"Itellyouthereisnoneedtobefrightened。WearenotlivingintheMiddleAges。ThereisapolicemaneveninStornhamvillage，andwearewithinfourhoursofLondon，wheretherearethousands。"
LadyAnstrutherstriedtolaugh，butdidnotsucceedverywell，andherforeheadflushed。
"Idon’tquiteknowwhyIseemsonervous，"shesaid。
"It’sverysillyofme。"
Shewasstilltimidenoughtoclingtosomeragofpretence，butBettyknewthatitwouldfallaway。Shedidthewisestpossiblething，whichwastomakeanapparentlyimpersonalremark。
"Iwantyoutogoovertheplacewithmeandshowmeeverything。Wallsandfencesandgreenhousesandoutbuildingsmustnotbeallowedtocrumbleaway。"
"What？"criedRosy。"Haveyouseenallthatalready？"
Sheactuallystaredather。"Howpracticaland——andAmerican！"
"Toseethatawallhasfallenwhenyoufindyourselfobligedtowalkroundapileofgrass—grownbrickwork？"saidBetty。
LadyAnstruthersstillsoftlystared。
"What——whatareyouthinkingof？"sheasked。
"Thinkingthatitisalltoobeautiful————"Betty’slooksweptthelovelinessspreadabouther，"toobeautifulandtoovaluabletobeallowedtoloseitsvalueanditsbeauty。"SheturnedhereyesbacktoRosyandthedeepdimplenearhermouthshoweditselfdelightfully。"Itisathrowingawayofcapital，"
sheadded。
"Oh！"criedLadyAnstruthers，"howcleveryouare！
Andyoulooksodifferent，Betty。"
"DoIlookstupid？"thedimpledeepening。"Imusttrytoalterthat。"
"Don’ttrytoalteryourlooks，"saidRosy。"Itisyourlooksthatmakeyouso——sowonderful。Butusuallywomen——
girls————"Rosypaused。
"Oh，Ihavebeentrained，"laughedBetty。"Iamthespoileddaughterofabusinessmanofgenius。Hisbusinessisanartandascience。Ihavehadadvantages。Hehasletmehearhimtalk。Ievenknowsometriflingthingsaboutstocks。
Notenoughtodomevitalinjury——butsomething。WhatI
knowbestofall，"——herlaughendedandhereyeschangedtheirlook，——"isthatitisablundertothinkthatbeautyisnotcapital——thathappinessisnot——andthatbotharenotthegreatestassetsinthescheme。This，"withawaveofherhand，takinginalltheysaw，"isbeauty，anditoughttobehappiness，anditmustbetakencareof。ItisyourhomeandUghtred’s————"
"ItisNigel’s，"putinRosy。
"Itisentailed，isn’tit？"turningquickly。"Hecannotsellit？"
"Ifhecouldweshouldnotbesittinghere，"ruefully。
"Thenhecannotobjecttoitsbeingrescuedfromruin。"
"Hewillobjectto——tomoneybeingspentonthingshedoesnotcarefor。"LadyAnstruthers’voicelowereditself，asitalwaysdidwhenshespokeofherhusband，andsheindulgedintheinvoluntaryhastyglanceabouther。
"Iamgoingtomyroomtotakeoffmyhat，"Bettysaid。
"Willyoucomewithme？"
Shewentintothehouse，talkingquietlyofordinarythings，andinthiswaytheymountedthestairwaytogetherandpassedalongthegallerywhichledtoherroom。Whentheyentereditsheclosedthedoor，lockedit，and，takingoffherhat，laiditaside。Afterdoingwhichshesat。
"Noonecanhearandnoonecancomein，"shesaid。"Andiftheycould，youareafraidofthingsyouneednotbeafraidofnow。TellmewhathappenedwhenyouweresoillafterUghtredwasborn。"
"Youguessedthatithappenedthen，"gaspedLadyAnstruthers。
"Itwasagoodtimetomakeanythinghappen，"repliedBettina。"Youwereprostrated，youwereachild，andfeltyourselfcastoffhopelesslyfromthepeoplewholovedyou。"
"Forever！Forever！"LadyAnstruthers’voicewasasharplittlemoan。"ThatwaswhatIfelt——thatnothingcouldeverhelpme。Idarednotwritethings。Hetoldmehewouldnothaveit——thathewouldstopanyhystericalcomplaints——thathismothercouldtestifythathebehavedperfectlytome。Shewastheonlypersonintheroomwithuswhen——when————"
"When？"saidBetty。
LadyAnstruthersshuddered。SheleanedforwardandcaughtBetty’shandbetweenherownshakingones。
"Hestruckme！Hestruckme！Hesaiditneverhappened——
butitdid——itdid！Betty，itdid！Thatwastheonethingthatcamebacktomeclearest。HesaidthatIwasindelirioushysterics，andthatIhadstruggledwithhismotherandhimself，becausetheytriedtokeepmequiet，andpreventtheservantshearing。OneawfuldayhebroughtLadyAnstruthersintotheroom，andtheystoodoverme，asIlayinbed，andshefixedhereyesonmeandsaidthatshe——beinganEnglishwoman，andapersonwhosewordwouldbebelieved，couldtellpeoplethetruth——myfatherandmother，ifnecessary，thatmyspoiled，hystericalAmericantempershadcreatedunhappinessforme——merelybecauseIwasboredbylifeinthecountryandwantedexcitement。Itriedtoanswer，buttheywouldnotletme，andwhenIbegantoshakeallover，theysaidthatIwasthrowingmyselfintohystericsagain。Andtheytoldthedoctorso，andhebelievedit。"
Thepossibilitiesofthesituationwereplainlytobeseen。
Fate，intheformoftemperamentitself，hadbeenagainsther。
ItwasclearenoughtoBettyasshepattedandstrokedthethinhands。"Iunderstand。Tellmetherest，"shesaid。
LadyAnstruthers’headdropped。
"WhenIwasloneliest，anddyingofhomesickness，andsoweakthatIcouldnotspeakwithoutsobbing，hecametome——itwasonemorningafterIhadbeenlyingawakeallnight——andhebegantoseemkinder。Hehadnotbeennearmefortwodays，andIhadthoughtIwasgoingtobelefttodiealone——andmotherwouldneverknow。Hesaidhehadbeenreflectingandthathewasafraidthatwehadmisunderstoodeachother——becausewebelongedtodifferentcountries，andhadbeenbroughtupindifferentways————"shepaused。
"Andthatifyouunderstoodhispositionandconsideredit，youmightbothbequitehappy，"Bettygaveinquiettermination。
LadyAnstruthersstarted。
"Oh，youknowitall！"sheexclaimed"OnlybecauseIhavehearditbefore。Itisanoldtrick。
Andbecauseheseemedkindandrelenting，youtriedtounderstand——andsignedsomething。"
"IWANTEDtounderstand。IWANTEDtobelieve。Whatdiditmatterwhichofushadthemoney，ifwelikedeachotherandwerehappy？Hetoldmethingsabouttheestate，andabouttheenormouscostofit，andhisbadluck，anddebtshecouldnothelp。AndIsaidthatIwoulddoanythingif——ifwecouldonlybelikemotherandfather。AndhekissedmeandIsignedthepaper。"
"Andthen？"
"HewenttoLondonthenextday，andthentoParis。Hesaidhewasobligedtogoonbusiness。Hewasawayamonth。
Andafteraweekhadpassed，LadyAnstruthersbegantoberestlessandangry，andoncesheflewintoarage，andtoldmeIwasafool，andthatifIhadbeenanEnglishwoman，Ishouldhavehadsomedecentcontrolovermyhusband，becausehewouldhaverespectedme。IntimeIfoundoutwhatIhaddone。Itdidnottakelong。"
"Thepaperyousigned，"saidBetty，"gavehimcontroloveryourmoney？"
Aforlornnodwastheanswer。
"Andsincethenhehasdoneashechose，andhehasnotchosentocareforStornham。Andoncehemadeyouwritetofather，toaskformoremoney？"
"Ididitonce。Ineverwoulddoitagain。Hehastriedtomakeme。HealwayssaysitistosaveStornhamforUghtred。"
"NothingcantakeStornhamfromUghtred。Itmaycometohimaruin，butitwillcometohim。"
"HesaystherearelegalpointsIcannotunderstand。Andhesaysheisspendingmoneyonit。"
"Where？"
"He——doesn’tgointothat。IfIweretoaskquestions，hewouldmakemeknowthatIhadbetterstop。HesaysIknownothingaboutthings。Andheisright。Hehasneverallowedmetoknowand——andIamnotlikeyou，Betty。"
"Whenyousignedthepaper，youdidnotrealisethatyouweredoingsomethingyoucouldneverundoandthatyouwouldbeforcedtosubmittotheconsequences？"
"I——Ididn’trealiseanythingbutthatitwouldkillmetoliveasIhadbeenliving——feelingasiftheyhatedme。AndIwassogladandthankfulthatheseemedkinder。ItwasasifIhadbeenontherack，andheturnedthescrewsback，andIwasreadytodoanything——anything——ifImightbetakenoff。Oh，Betty！youknow，don’tyou，that——thatifhewouldonlyhavebeenalittlekind——justalittle——Iwouldhaveobeyedhimalways，andgivenhimeverything。"
Bettysatandlookedather，withdeeplyponderingeyes。
Shewasconfrontingthefactthatitseemedpossiblethatonemustbuildanewsoulforheraswellasanewbody。Inthesedaysofscienceandgrowingsanityofthought，onedidnotstandhelplessbeforetheproblemofphysicalrebuilding，and——andperhaps，ifonecouldpourlifeintoacreature，thesoulofitwouldrespond，andwakeagain，andgrow。
"Youdonotknowwhereheis？"shesaidaloud。"Youabsolutelydonotknow？"
"Ineverknowexactly，"LadyAnstruthersanswered。"Hewashereforafewdaystheweekbeforeyoucame。Hesaidhewasgoingabroad。Hemightappearto—morrow，Imightnothearofhimforsixmonths。Ican’thelphopingnowthatitwillbethesixmonths。"
"Whyparticularlynow？"inquiredBetty。
LadyAnstruthersflushedandlookedshyandawkward。
"Becauseof——you。Idon’tknowwhathewouldsay。I
don’tknowwhathewoulddo。"
"Tome？"saidBetty。